Men, what's something that would SURPRISE Women about life as a Man? - Reddit Podcast
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- čas přidán 15. 09. 2023
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First comment? Ig
Just had a talk with my mother after my brother's wedding. Confused in her that I've been having a rough time with moving & changing jobs after spending three years blue-flaming because of an awkward financial situation.
As I got to saying I felt burnt out, she looked incredulous, saying, "I'm not surprised; you've been working your ass off. Give yourself a break; you've earned it." It was everything I've ever wanted or needed to hear, and I just about broke me down right then & there.
watching this video while being a gay man in a very happy relationship, made me realize not only why so many men, (who as far as i know are straight or in a straight relationship) i see so stressed and tired, but it also helped me realize a lot of things im very much taking advantage of. amazing video, and makes me really think about my brothers more, and how much i need to appreciate them and my bf more. im glad im not alone in some of similar experiences or thoughts, but it also makes me desperately wish that this type of stuff was a bit more common knowledge
I am transgender, mtf, and when I lived outwardly as a guy I barely received any compliments or comments in general on my skills or appearance or anything. Now living as a woman, it's like night and day; I get complimented right on the street wherever I walk, and I receive compassion as much as I give now, and it really made me break into tears how much better I seemed to be treated now. Meanwhile, a guy I met who is trans ftm talked about the opposite, how he was always complimented and encouraged growing up, but once he came out, he stopped getting those compliments, those compassionate moments, and it caused him to have several existentialist crisis at wondering if all he was to other people was a pretty face, and if he was inherently unlovable as a person. It's interesting having that peak into both worlds that many will never truly experience.
women are just treated a adult babies to be taken care of really only time women get treated badly is by other women when they think they gained to much weight.
Have them share their experience with others before they transition from so they know what they're getting into. A lot of them go in blind and it screws them up royally. While I do enjoy hearing about a girl (even one that transitioned to a guy) getting the guy treatment I don't want them to walk into it blind. Get experience from others who made the same choice and decide if the pain and loneliness is worth being who you are.
@@Draco9909 there is a woman who did that trying to prove a point , she wrote a book, then she self deleted after a year😶🌫️
@@westernstar9121 I know. Tragic that it happened but a lesson nonetheless for anyone wanting to transition.
Absolutely relate to #7. just this feeling of being utterly invisible unless we're needed. Walking down the isles of a store or just out and about in general and few even acknowledge your existence except for the bare minimum needed to not walk into you. Unless you acknowledge them first, ofcourse.
But, its expected that men be the initiators all the time anyway. Which just means if you are shy, or introverted, or even just respectful enough to not want to push yourself on others, it feels like no one even knows you exist until they need something (to lift, to catch/kill, to push/pull, etc).
I am a woman and watching this video has been hugely insightful as well as making me feel sad ☹ a lot of these issues I already knew about but I just don't know what to do about this to make men feel more valued and heard. If anyone has any things that you would like women to do that might help these issues, reply to this comment pls bc I really want to help but I just don't know how :(((
A big thing is if you have a significant other or male friend(s) just have some pleasant chats about how they are actually feeling and then after hearing them (if they want to be heard) just console them in a way you would want but also sticking to their comfort zone and asking if it'd be fine to comfort them how you think would help then just treat them as per usual as it doesn't feel great to be treated completely differently because of your issues although that is dependent from person to person so just ask to be safe, also compliment them on something whether it be outfit, hair, facial hair, etc those compliments will stick there for years also ask if they need help with things (if you're capable of helping as it may be bad to not be offered help but it's a lot worse if someone trying to help gets hurt) because it's rare for people to offer guys their help because they're guys and they've got it bht definetly start small as it can be really awkward for someone to suddenly treat you completely differently out of the blue and you can then work from there for strangers give them a small but still significant compliments (never more because it might give them the wrong idea and this applies to both genders and the compliment will still help)
A good bit of advice that sounds counter intuitive is think globally act locally.
From what I noticed, giving genuine compliments and treating people as a human and not focusing on their gender too much helps alot. Like I see a woman with a kid? That's cool, what're their mannerisms? Kid seems happy, woman seems tired. Poor thing. I hope things get better. I see a guy with a kid? That's cool, what're their mannerisms? Guy seems annoyed and abit frustrated. That's abit scary, but kid doesn't seem scared. That's cool. I hope things get better for them.
Also If I'm ever nervous about something, I also try to make it clear when necessary that it's nothing they did but that it's because of my anxiety and past experiences. This seems to help abit.
This is just advice from my perspective as someone who was born as and grew up as a girl.
The golden rule. Literally all you need to do.
This is actually sad when you really think about it😢😢
Glad I'm not the only one who thought so too
It's true.
It's all true too like the being alone with a kid you're seen as a pedo or if you are sad you're told to man up and if you need help and a woman does at the same time the woman will get the help 100% of the time as she's more valuable than us men are. We're just disposable is the way I see it.
As a guy, I recognise why women aren’t especially keen to compliment male strangers - there is the very real possibility that it will invite crazy, stalkerish behaviour.
I tend to see this as a catch 22. If a woman compliments a guy, he may be the sort to attach that compliment to the idea the woman is into him and try to date her, and for that reason, most woman tend not to compliment guys to prevent that unwanted attention.
But the reason guys may be like that in the first place is because they receive so little attention and compliments from women that they don't know how to properly process a compliment as something in passing or purely platonic, and so can't see the compliments they get few and far between as anything but someone being interested in them.
It's an unfortunate outcome of old society, one that at the very least today is slowly starting to change in some areas of the world.
And that's the problem it's been drilled into everyone's head that that will happen when in reality it can very much happen both ways
@@dragonqueen1474I'm nervous about complimenting guus for this reason. I'm a lesbian and getting asked out/flirted with by guys makes me uncomfortable. There's also the possibility of someone getting violent if I misinterpret their flirting as being friendly and they get angry at me for leading them on.
When it comes to relationships.
When. My ex fiance broke up with me 3 weeks before the wedding. She had friends and family supporting her and were calling me the bad guy. I had some support, but it was just mainly that I'm here for you, that you can get over it, or the fact I didn't have kids with her.
I'm sorry to hear about that and hope you're doing well and I hope you aren't too hard on yourself about it and if you are go look in a mirror and compliment yourself because you're not what they said you are also you're looking great today
@Azurious I'm not too hard on myself. The last time I talked to my Ex-fiance. I asked if there was a future between her and I. She told me no, and i stopped trying and just did my own thing. It's been 4 months, and I'm getting better.
0:58 very relatable. The last time I got complemented by somebody who wasn't family was around three months ago when this girl who I've barely talked to complemented the design I made on a shirt for a school project. Whenever I feel like I'm being excluded/lonely I think about that moment. It helps me a lot 🥲
I think the guys on Reddit have beaten this dead horse enough. That said, the last in-person compliment I got from a non-relative was about 4 years ago, before the CoVid lockdowns. Some woman said "Damn, you're cute". She approached me on the street and was dressed oddly, I'm pretty sure she was a hooker, but fuck it, I'll take it, lol. Still made my day, even if it was total BS.
Honestly, the fact I get regular compliments is one of the main reasons I don't even consider cutting my long hair.
We can clean our undercarriage by just spinning it, no hands needed.
Hmm, let me fact check this
Edit: don’t do it if you have a small shower, I D slapped the soap bottle and clinched my legs and accidentally crushed my balls. Double homicide.
@@dailyatom8678so how’d it go?
@@dailyatom8678 you good or dead?
I'm a furry (someone who likes anthropomorphic (humanistic) characters) who is male.
When ever someone finds out I'm a furry I'm called mean and horrible things, when a female is found out to be a furry it's "Oh that's interesting. I hope people dont bother you for your interest.".
I like wearing fursuits (an animal costume) in public. I'm always being chased away by the cops or some manager type. When they find out it's a female in the costume it's, "Oh your a girl! Well that's OK, if anyone gives you any problems just let me know and I will put a stop to it."
Life is a double standard and us guys just have to live with being treated as a second class citizen.
i just wanna give these people a hug dammit
The fact that having kids is so womanized is crazy people forget dad can be emotionally attached to their kid too he’ll that what Italians father act my dad Italians and he worry’s more then my mom
10:22 'Get the tongs" had me rolling and laughing.
Men do not possess the power of telepathy.
Women: 😡
Well time to get the scan tool might work
I feel so sorry for them, sending my love and whish u guys happiness
As a guy, it's next to impossible to tell if I'm just being complimented or hit on by a girl. Because compliments are so rare my monkey brain immediately thinks it's affection in some form and not just a genuine comment
We here in Northern Ireland also have men sheds also
Communication between men and women is difficult. I've been with multiple girlfriends who could talk ABOUT me to their friends endlessly, but if she needs to talk TO me, the conversation is dead in under 5 minutes unless I'm trying to keep it alive. And now that I think about it, a lot of them do this with their kids too. God, that's disturbing. It's like they love to brag about people in their life, but you can't brag about someone to that same person, so they run out of shit to say, lol. I need to start looking for a better class of women, they can't all be like that. Well, that's my depressing epiphany for the day...
My partner is a very private person, so any conversation about him tends to not last very long since I don't want to cross his boundaries. It made me realise I do have this urge to share my happiness with others, which I guess is bragging to some extend. So our solution is, I just gush to him, about him. Small gestures will become fond memories and will come up mutliple times, even months after the fact, because of how they made me feel. It also means he's the person I organise my thoughts with when there's issues and he's incredibly patient with that.
Us men really need to get over sitting down to pee because when you stand you are literally spraying all over yourself and on every surface around you, toothbrush even your damn toothbrush
That's only the guys that don't know how to aim
No
It's only the people with tiny small ones like yugen that cannot aim@@Azurious
Totally not taking notes for my boyfriend to make life better for him
Yeah, sure.
I suspect as a dude I would be surprised how much easier it is to get a decent living wage job and the physical stamina to keep up.
Ha! You have no ideia, I just can bang on a corporation door and they hire me as an executive! Then after working for twelve hours non stop I get home and still have some energy left to throw my kids around.
Back when I was in high school it took me over a hundred applications to various locations and a month or more of walking into places only to get a minimum wage job at a convenience store.
@@scrubscrub4492 hundreds is all? You must be a boomer...
Lol, no companies are hiring women that can keep the jobs without doing any work 90% of women freeloading while the 10% of men work over time getting paid less than the women that do nothing but talk to each other then b1tch that the men get more hours because they have more work to do due to company wasting 90% of the positions on women that do nothing.
I was shopping at Walgreens and saw a woman with what I thought chad pretty hair she turned to her husband and said did you hear that she likes my hair a couple aisles later we saw each other again and she was all I have to through dialysis I hugged her and said I understand I'm a brain tumor survivor paralyzed during surgery and had chemo and radiation to make sure the tumor was completely gone 6 weeks of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation
I’m really just starting to realise the true extent of racism as I’m a female however due to appearance and health issues I am looked down on in society. This made me feel bad when I heard about men’s issues as I realised that with all the trash talking about men and praising of woman people forget that the men are struggling to. We also treat men badly without noticing it because of unconscious bias. We need Equality and Equity now for both men and woman otherwise the tables will flip and all the fighting will be pointless
the thing with a guy being around a kid is true a woman can be with another friends kid that doesn't even know her and is fine yet a man be like an uncle to a kid for years and still get outed for being in public with them
16:10
yeah, I've come to the conclusion that bowled toilets are simply not designed to be urinated into from a standing position. of course, I'd just sit, it honestly doesn't bother me...were it not for the bowl in my rented house being too short and too low so that I'll get the occasional cold and disgusting shock I get when the tip touches the inside of the bowl or dip into the water.
I understand the accents are to show its seperate comments but oh my lord at one point one accent sounded a weird mix of irish and bristolian xD
welp, im happy im not straight.
nothing wrong with straight people, there's just so many inequalities and issues between men and women that it seems you'd have to defy all of what society taught people just to have a happy, healthy relationship. seems tiring tbh.
5:30 something: I know right.
On a side note, I dont remember most compliments, because if I get one, I dont know if youre serious or trying to be polite. Most compliments actually annoy me cause it sounds like theyre being an ass.
The one about testicles I didnt know, and Im a man.
Story 26: Or bottle it up so long you forgot how to feel emotion.
Heres something that would suprise most women. Women enjoy bias from the courts and law enforcement against the man, meaning if she claims he did something the law blames him even if he did not do it . She can claim he is abusive or hitting her and without evidence arrest the man. She can claim she was sexually abused by him and even due to the lack of a rape kit validating her claim and no medical documentation supporting it the courts will rule in her favor overwhelmingly. Even if it consentual a week later she can regret it claim she was taken advantage of and get the guy arrested just based on her retroactively changing her mind and there is no recource for men in that situation.
Some guys are jerks and deserve it but most guys dont and the double standards that only benefit females is tiring.
My brother in Yevon, do you have any idea how aggressively and fervently we are called "lying bitches" and accused or wanting attention if we come out as rape/assault victims against dudes?
I like to cook and wear pink lmao I don’t know why people hate these things I just wanna do the things I like (thinking about a lavender shirt )
pink because they think your gay for wearing it.
I'm not sure a lot of this stuff would surprise women, more would be immediately shot down in a torrent of abuse
Apparently thinking about the roman empire
At a certain point society becomes the perfect people like celebrities and such because if you really think about it most people that go through these problems aren't the ideal person
Good men suffering the behavior of men who aren't good, or worse. Men need to speak up, in a safe and informative way, when they see men behaving badly. How other men act affects how your seen as a man.
Hardy har har I had a motorcycle before my surgeon paralyzed me
We don’t make cringe tiktoks
That’s the problem with men only going out and picking women only for their looks. They need to pick women for their personalities not their looks looks over their lifetime, but their personality is what you really love with. And I don’t see any reason why women shouldn’t be able to take the initiative but in this society, if they do that women getting into a lot of trouble and usually the man runs away because she took the initiative that she liked him. Oh well. But really, you guys better off if she likes him and she’s better off if he likes her too. And she has no problems with his personality.
We do care about things but we don't want to show it.
I tell my man all the time he is handsome, sexy and looks hot! Atleast 4 times a week!!! I wish he would say it more too me
I know that when I see n e one having a hard day or they have a beard or wearing something I like I make sure to compliment.
Wether you have a banana or a taco.
As for women getting less crap when around kids - yeah, that's wrong, especially when they deal with boys. Jocasta's complex is real and boy, do I see it in so many cases. But, alas, society will call such woman a caring mom and not weird lady who actually can be a "fan of the kids".
Still, after all those cases, I think it would be much easier to be a guy, nevertheless.
Hi, I made the third comment
Congrats
An other reason to not get into a relationship because i aint dying for my loved one. If somebody has a gun i wont jump infront my loved one btw im a (male) gender equalist so dont try anything in the comments
That if you don't constantly nag them all the time they are pretty easy going 😜
12:50 stupid. Maybe im not a woman but i have learn that you are just valuable if you are useful in some way regardless of gender. Maybe its an culture thing…
im 5th lol
The amount of women in the comments complaining about mean talking about their problems is exactly why men don’t talk about their problems.
"Men don't talk about their feelings." "OMG stop complaining about your little feelings you have no idea what it's like to be a woman."
I have not seen a single comment from a woman complaining. This ideology is why conversations like these are rarely ever talked about
@@1ittaI'm thinking dailyatom8678 was referring to the thread comments on the original Reddit post. Some of those got particularly nasty. But I'm only guessing.
(Edit: Then again it may have been a reaction to the comment by PME(can't remember the numbers).)
@@damionlee7658 okay
@@1itta On YT unless it's explicitly an political channel women seem more reasonable from what I can see. reddit OTOH is purpose built to be echo chambers(it does not help that most of the major subreddits are moderated by a relatively small group of people).
“I like kids”
I don’t think men should sulk about the childcare comments when most of them don’t do jack.
If they were not stuck supporting the women who don't work they would have more time for the kids and not be tired.
This seems like a lot of emotionally insecure betas. Children and women are valued because they are raising the next generation. You are keeping in place and helping support them. At least if you aren’t trying to destabilize the traditional family values we have been going through for ages prior. Self centered ness is all the rage these days and it’s adding to mental health issues. If you value others the same way you do yourself the quality of life goes up.
"Emotionally insecure betas." Firstly, having emotions and feeling sad due to a lack of value from others in your life is not emotional insecurity. It's called being human. Secondly, the term "beta" is incredibly stupid and not grounded in reality whatsoever. It's irritating that people continually downplay and shame any sort of emotion in men.
"Children and women are valued because they are raising the next generation." Are men not raising the next generation as well? Do men not contribute to society by not only raising children, but building, maintaining, and improving the systems that will allow the next generation to survive and thrive? Why is that not seen as valuable by society? Why is fatherhood not valuable?
"You are keeping in place and helping support them." Why is being a father seen as "helping" and as a support role, not as a shared partnership with the mother? Do fathers not have a tremendous impact on their children? And what does "keeping in place" even mean? Passive stability?
"At least if you aren’t trying to destabilize the traditional family values we have been going through for ages prior." I am all for traditional family values. But what you're talking about is not traditional masculinity at all. Throughout even Western history, we can read many accounts of well-respected men weeping openly--Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, David, Marcus Aurelius, even Jesus (though I'd say He wasn't just a man), and in ancient literature, it's all over the place--the Iliad, Odyssey, Aeneid, Beowulf, the Epic of Gilgamesh. It's just a completely natural thing.
"Self centered ness is all the rage these days and it’s adding to mental health issues." Yes, it is. But what is being discussed here is not self-centeredness at all; it's societal devaluation of men. Which also adds to mental health issues.
"If you value others the same way you do yourself the quality of life goes up." The issue with this is that many men don't value themselves very highly, if at all. Because they are told incessantly that they are disposable, disgusting, predatory, or that they are simply economic necessities. If they valued others the same way, nobody's quality of life would be going up. They have to value everyone significantly more than themselves if we want the quality of life to increase. Why are men expected to value everyone else above them, but not women?
As a woman I think that this is not true. Men are equally as valuable as we are and we need to start appreciating that. This is the issue: historically men were valued more than women, so to try and reverse this society started valuing women more than men. But neither of those situations are correct, men and women should be valued EQUALLY. We can't stoop down to their level and let the men of today feel unwanted and unheard just like women were in the past. We need to create a society where men and women are *equal*, where everyone gets the same treatment regardless of who they are and what they are doing and where everyone has a voice
"Emotionally insecure betas"
"Destabilize the traditional family"
Chud spotted
lol.
I get that man don’t have it it easy. But honestly a lot of these things seem like first world problems compared to what most women face.
So you just downplayed men’s problems. We aren’t saying women don’t have problems, we saying women don’t care that we have problems and your comment proves that point.
Edit: also if you’re saying men have first world problems and live in any first world country, you are highly hypocritical.
Thank you for verifying that men can always count on their problems to be minimized and their feelings dismissed.
You. You are the issue.
As a woman I disagree with this. Men's problems are equally as important as ours and we should be listening to them. Historically women's problems have been ignored and now that we are finally being heard we need to make sure that the men of today don't fall through the gaps. We need to change society so that men and women are treated EQUALLY, not one being valued more than the other. Men's issues are important and we should listen to them as well as them listening to us.
People like you are the problem, now imagine swapping places with a male issues how would you react how would it feel that people like you undervalue and insult and treat others like absolute trash because of their gender