Jordan Peterson: Society Forgot This About the Role of a Mother
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- čas přidán 29. 01. 2021
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The mother has a distinct role. What is the specific sacrifice of the mother?
Jordan B Peterson (born June 12, 1962) is a Canadian clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Toronto. This clip is taken from the Biblical Series V: Cain and Abel: The Hostile Brothers. June, 2017.
Check out the full clip here: • Lecture: Biblical Seri...
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This channel aims at extracting central points of presentations into short clips. The topics cover the problems of leftist ideology and the consequences for society.
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“You don’t grow up until someone is more important than you”
My Lord that is so true!
My mother said you are basically selfish until you have a child of your own.
Women put themselves ahead of children all the time, which is why they do not mature past their teens.
@@agentssith Putting yourself ahead of kids isn't selfish. Stop generalizing.
@Kim C @LittleDarkAge
One major way women do this, which is so subtle and why it is overlooked is this: the whole point of raising children is to have them reach a point where they don't need you anymore. Not so in your case though eh? Also, you expect your husbands to be fully non-dependent on you. Yet if he were to treat you this way, that you should not be dependent on him in any way, *especially* as time moves on that is usually considered grounds for divorce, whereupon most women, most of the time, will split up their family, often alienating the kids from their father, and usually exposing them to strange men who are not their father as well as other risks from dad not being around. Because of her feelings "He doesn't pay attention to me anymore" "He is not emotionally involved". So before you go patting yourselves on the back or claiming I am grossly generalizing, perhaps you need to rethink your own unthought-out positions on this. "Search your feelings, you'll know it to be true.
I don't put myself ahead of kids cause I don't have them. No burden. No financial difficulties. Women are always "selfish" ones, aren't they. Pushing "family" narrative idea isn't smartest one. That's why people divorce. Don't stay with abusive men because you have kids with them. Better be single mother.
Being a mother highlighted all of my shortcomings and strengths, reordered all of my priorities, made me care less and yet more about myself, and completely changed how I view the world. Thank God for the privilege of being a mother to three amazing humans.
I love that. So true!
Your comment brought tears to my eyes. As a young mother with two very small children who is just starting to learn these lessons, it rings so true.
I have never taken better care of myself than I do now that I'm a mom... and it doesn't feel forced. Yes, I want to be a good role model, but ultimately I'm far happier and taking care of myself no longer sometimes feels like a job.
When people say that having children us the best thing that they ever did I now actually understand it... before I just thought it was some weird coping thing that parents all say because I'd been convinced for so long that children do nothing but create misery.
This absolutely sums it up! ❤
Tbh I always had a child wish so huge.. now I'm in a situation and relation where it would be good. But I became so shitless.. the thought of the responsibility of a baby growing inside of u and u are 100% responsible. And indeed the impatience. The thought really has such a big impact that I'm surprised by myself. Doubtful if I'm good enough where at the same time I know I'm born for this. I'm 36 and suddenly scared as never before..its weird. But I'm very happy about the comment that u also found out things you dont like.
The level of sacrifice has risen to an unhealthy place. Women try to do too much…working full time, caring for the kids and home with little help leaves nothing for the mom to nurture herself…so she tries to pour from an empty cup. Too many of us sacrifice too much and it’s not a good example for our sons who need to be contributing partners or for our daughters who need to learn boundaries. It’s time for a rebalancing.
The work should go
P
She said she could do it but of course she complains after she notices she can't, instead of admitting she made a mistake. She made her bed now she can lay in it.
I am one of those Mothers. It's been a difficult pill to swallow, but I no longer have an identity of my own. My identity is, Mother- which isn't terrible, but I wish I knew who I, was....
No starving people in the World? What planet are you speaking from?
Being a mother has brought me both the happiest and most challenging days of my life.
Agreed
Same here,the happiest days of my life,my children are the best blessing I have ever had and I thank God for them every day.
I wrestled with "the shame" I felt for wanting to be a wife & mother until someone wise said in amazement "those are noble desires." It was then that I realized the horrible messages and programming I had grown up with all my life. Been married for 18 years now and we have 5 children. Wonderful!
Best. Decisions. In. Life.
Beautiful
it is said mostly by other women who didnt find a man and couldn't start a family, pure envy
All I've ever wanted to be us a mother. I never finished college. I don't have a career. I have my girls. I have so many friends that have it all. A degree, a career, a husband, kids, and be always felt like they are such a success and bc I have a fiance and kids but no way to provide for them on my own if I ever had to, I'm a failure. I'm not done. I'm not a whole adult. I do have a job. Part time. Just to help out, make Christmas money, have some time away from the house for a few hours. But otherwise I spend every waking moment with my kids, and to be honest, while the world around me may find that life to be lacking, it's all I've ever wanted. It's the hardest most rewarding thing I have ever done or could ever do, and I am so grateful I am able to have it this way!
Yeah. But there are actually no decisions in life. Its all deterministic.
I agree. It's horrifying when I think I could have missed out on the most fulfilling thing in my life- being a mother- all because I listened to feminist indoctrination trash for way too long. But I was lucky- other women not so much :(
My number 1 priority in life is to bring up my children and ensure they have a childhood, they don't have to recover from. I struggle with my childhood trauma on a daily basis and having children only affirms how awful my upbringing was. I'm the mother to them I so desperately wished I had. It is now my duty to break that generational curse and not repeat the history of the women before me 🖤
Perfectly encapsulates my mission as well.
❤️
Sending peace and love. Soldier on, it’s worth it ❤️🌈
I feel the same as well. You are already doing a good job my recognizing what happened in your childhood. God bless you!
It is an ongoing struggle to overcome childhood trauma. My parents and stepparents lived through the Great Depression as children , then faced World War II as young adults. Honestly they were emotional wrecks and heavy handed, narcissistic, and in total denial that they could make any mistake. What a mess. I was certain I would be able to do so much better, but the emotional scars kept bleeding. I was damaged goods and I know my two sons had a depressed and insecure mother who was overprotective of them. They turned out wonderful anyway. Maybe I was able to at least put some of that generational garbage out to the curb. I hope so.
‘If home was too good, you’d never leave.’
Can’t wait to use that one. It reminded me about an older mom I met with teenagers and kids that were grown and gone and she was complaining about her teenagers behavior. I told her I dread the drama that comes with that someday. And she told me, ‘I believe it serves its purpose. They have to drive you so crazy that you’re ready for them to move out as an adult. If they didn’t drive you to the brink of insanity, you’d die of a broken heart when they leave your home.’
Like birds fly the nest.
Sounds insane to me. No one has the right to bring innocent life into this world...It is immoral.
@athena you don’t know anything about anything
This idea of leaving home is an act of selfishness, the parents are too selfish to adapt to their growing child and the child being selfish and not respecting and adapting to being an adult around your parents.
Asian and rich people stay in the same house when the children get older.
Poor people are divided and conquered.
@@bigduke2140 am personally very big on both family and extended family; my own has been indispensable for me. yet people need to go out on their own. the little birdie needs to fly away, so to speak.
i mean, yeah, love eachother, and be there for eachother, but there few 'rich people' whom i view with respect, and the idea of "being held close" all one's life just sounds awful. regardless of opinion,, one cannot appreciate closeness if one has not experienced distance. on a larger scale, one cannot fully appreciate one's land or country if one has never left it.
you don't get to say "it's wonderful to be back home!" if you never left it.
I married at age 31. Never before that did I ever worry about my biological clock nor did I ever think about marriage. I met Jesus at 28. Met husband in the church. First baby at age 32. The day I held my first born I knew immediately that this was what I was made for. I had baby #4 at age 37. I homeschooled. Amazing if you knew my past. God worked it all out for me. Going on year 40th anniversary and am now having a blast with grandchildren. I wouldn't change a thing. It's all about Jesus.
Absolutely!
Goals ❤
Bless you 💕🙏
How can you have grandchildren when your oldest child is 8?
@@xelaphilia I don't see my mistake?
Being a mother taught me more about myself than any other life experience, and some of the lessons were not things I'd wanted to know.
YES THIS!
AMEN glad to read this❤
So so true for me as well.
100%
@Ruth Longridge, I completely get what you mean, thank you, it's what I remember observing some mothers of children that were under my care for a couple of days every week, during my working years as a Nanny. I remember a young mother, who came home with her first born child, and who had hired me to assist her in taking care of cooking, and cleaning. She told me one morning, after a week or so, that she was so terrified of the sense of responsibility for her baby, that she had to be on her own with her child, in this difficult time for her. She was genuinely upset, I didn't argue.
I got married, had children and home educated them for 12 years. At times I felt overwhelmed and underappreciated. However, now that I'm on the other side and my children are adults, I see how valuable it was, suffering and all. There's nothing like watching your kids grow up and be the amazing people they were created to be and I thank God for my part in it!!! Best time I ever spent was training and enjoying my children's growth into maturity.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm a stay at home mom to three and I often feel unappreciated and overwhelmed. I have three, ages three and under.
@@kalonmontgomery8213 it’s such an incredible feat of love and bravery and is far greater than any other achievement that could ever be achieved in any arena. Your amazing
Amennnn!!! Thank you for sharing. You are amazing. That is what I plan on doing.
I sacrificed my so called life and stayed home and home educated my kids for 30 years. They are wonderful well adjusted adults who are now making sacrifices for their own children. My daughter is a foster mother in addition to raising her own. And my 2 sons work in a busy hospital helping everyone in the pandemic. They are kind, considerate, polite, and truly care about others. And they stand out amongst their generation. It was worth every sacrifice. 🌹
@@suzannecarrier287 Amen! Congrats to you and your great service.
Being a mother made me love my body. Being a mother made me a more patient person.
Being a mother empowered me.
Being a mother fulfilled me.
I hate the changes of my body after childbirth: ugly breast, stretched navel 😢 problems with sex as a consequence... I can't imagine how women have more than one child, I'm not so strong
@@flounderflounder94 it will be better I promise 🙏🏻 (and i have 2)
Sounds like a cult
I agree. My calling was to be a wife,mother,and homemaker. I loved being a mom!
Now I have ten grandchildren. I tend to be more into helping the daughters.
I was raised that mothers help the daughters,and the daughter in law mother helps her.
A man shall leave his mother and cling to his wife and her family so her mother can help with child rearing.
@@robinluich6626Lovely! I personally am the “breadwinner” of the house haha, my husband takes care of the kids! However, if he ever wanted to help work, that would be totally cool as well, but his calling was to be a SAHD. 😁
I’ve heard that being a SAHM OR SAHD is 14 hours of work daily, without the sleep! Respect!
I was hesitant to ever have kids because I thought I wouldn't be maternal enough to make a good parent. I was in the military and now work in a leadership role in manufacturing, working 60-70 hours a week. I knew nothing about children, especially infants. And always felt too mentally "manly." But I just had my little boy 28 days ago and it's like a damn light switched. He's the most important thing and my instincts have been spot on so far. I pray I'll be worthy of him, because he's incredible.
You will be an amazing mom. You have so much to give with your love and your life experience. 🥰
Well you sound like you'll do just fine. That military background will instill some great values on them too 👍
@@oliveoil7642 thank you very much. I'll certainly give it my all.
My mom always said when we’d complain things weren’t fair. “life’s not fair, part of a mother’s job is to acquaint you with that fact”
Same. When we complained that things were unfair, my mom used to say, “ Who told you life was fair?”
I love this. My mom used to tell us that life isn't always fair, but the way this is said is awesome. I keep a book with me to write down quotes and information I like and want to remember. This is def going into my book. Tell your mom I said thanks. :)
Yesss good advice
Yes. Your mom tells you this. Or should have told you this.
Once you realize or have a Mom who told you, that life is unfair and always will be you will feel free from all the unfairness.
you don't grow up until you've had children.....hmmm, I know many men who don't grow up even WHEN they have children, in fact become more childlike.
then they are narcissistic. You don't grow up until someone becomes more important than you.
Sons no longer work alongside their fathers to learn how to be men. 🤷🏼♀️
@@ShadowRaven66669 You can work with your father in the house.
I know plenty of people who didn't grow up when they became parents!
@S.C. VON GEHL Nice try, next please...😁
The problem for modern mothers is societies schema of a perfect mother based on a 1950s model stay at home housewife, 100% devoted to your children, but kinder and more hands on than 1950’s housewives were ever expected to be; whilst also fulfilling societies schema of a devoted employee, which means 100% sacrifice and loyalty towards your employer as if you have no dependents. Plus theres no village to raise children anymore. Society doesn’t support modern mothers.
In the 50s a man's home was his castle.There is a reason why America has three branches of government and not just one king with all the power. Motherhood is motherhood there is nothing modern about it. The toys are different the clothes are different. Yet the instinct our love for your child is the same.
I will say it is hard to be a good mother when you are being oppressed and you are depressed. Having a job and being a mother is no more stressful than being a mother and trying to constantly please a king. What a job you have some type of financial stability. You can try to get another job if you lose their job. With a king you never know when you're going to be replaced. So much time trying to clean the house to please the king and do things that the king ask of you. You can be left behind at any minute. Kings are physically stronger than you and can put you out of the Kingdom whenever they feel like it. Kings say and do whatever they want to you whenever they choose to. No matter how submissive you are you are still at the king's Mercy. When you're dependent on a king you are at the mercy of his emotions. You work hard and long and yet you have no Financial independent. Kings do not always love their (children /subjects) in the same ways as mothers. This is deeper than discipline. The pain of the mother affects the children. The sadness of the mother affects the children. The anger of the king affects everyone. A kingdom is not a place for Partnerships. A kingdom is no place for a woman's opinions. A kingdom is a place full of anxiety in fear. The year is 2022 as someone living in a kingdom I would rather live in a home. Too late I'm not financially stable. I have no way right now to support my child. Yeah I do have God and I will continue to pray. But I know that God is the only true King that I have and need. One day I pray I can leave this Kingdom and me and my son can have a home of our own. How can you say what a housewife in his 50s was going through.
@@SkyBlue-vn9im begins the branches is the one king
@@SkyBlue-vn9im you talk about the family man as a king. In that line, it is fair to say that a king marries a queen. No queen is submissive like the woman you describe in your comment. I found your comment highly arrogant. You could be a member of the MGTOW which is a bunch of weak, frustrated and resentful men that hate women systematically. You should check it out. I think it might be right up your street 👍
It is not about submission and superiority/inferiority but about team work. Not one is more important or respectable than the other. The queen doesn't have to submit to anyone. She is a queen in her own right and her wellbeing should also concern her partner. The man supports the woman as he understands rising children and running a household has it's challenges too.
His job isn't more important than hers. His role isn't more important than hers either.
I gather you are single and don't have a family of your own?
How do you know raising children and having a career isn't different or more difficult than rising children and "pleasing the king" 🤢?
@roxanne smith. correct
Yes the stress jjust about drove me to suicide. Never getting a break of any kind. Work all week. Catch up weekend. Repeat fir at least 25 years decade after decade. Never a vacation
I'm 37, husband is 44, and we're finally having a child in January. I have the rare type 1 form of diabetes, and I was raised by a mom who was terrified I'd die in childbirth along with a dad who thought the "rapture" would happen in 2008 or 2018, so I didn't think of having a child for quite awhile (my husband also leaned against it for the reason Peterson describes as too clichéd here). My mom passed away in 2018, I'm now amillennial and no longer worry about the rapture, my endocrinologist assured me that type 1 diabetic pregnancies are far less riskier today than they were in the times my mother grew up, and my husband's more stoic side eventually overcame the side that was reluctant to bring a child into the world because of how bad the world is...so here we are! I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant, baby seems fine...we're ready for the challenge.
Good luck ! Just had my 3 months ago :) I pray everything goes well! God Bless
Best of luck to you!
Blessing congratulations
You will be blessed through and for that child. It is okay. The world is scary. We each can handle our load.
How’s the baby? Best thing you ever did, right?
When my son was a newborn, my neighbor told me as long as he knows that I'll always be there for him behind the scenes, I'll have done good. His daughter was killed not even a month later, and the advice stuck with me hard. Because she was such a happy girl. 17, confident, in college, kind... and he knew he'd done his best. It 100% has shaped my mothering. When I don't know how to handle something, this comes to me. I basically raised myself so its some of the only guidance I picked up. But it'd been key.
Thanks for sharing this
My dad gave 110 percent and I’ll never not be grateful.
@@jacksonfuller1995 It took me until I was 49 before I understood what Dad did for me. By that time he was in the throes of dementia. He passed the same year & I feel blessed that I was able to figure it out before his passing. 💖
Killed how???
@@floatingsara What makes you think it's any of your business to ask such a question?
My mom past away a year ago. I was with her when she died of a heart attack. I must say I lost my best friend and she raised six kids by herself as a single mother. She was a widow. My father died when I was three. She decided to stay single and focus in us. Only with a six grade she taught me the value of education. Something that no one can take from you. She's still comes to me in my dreams looking so beautiful, happy and calm. She constantly reprimand me in my dreams. I tell her she should relax, that she already passed away. She always says it's not an excuse for her to call me in my stupidity of losing time, in the things I should be doing. My mom doesn't even take a day off with me. Death hasn't stopped her from telling me, what I should do.
This is true, my mum passed 3 years ago and I’d say her love has become stronger even in death! I use her trainers as my walking shoes, when she bought them I didn’t like but they are actually really comfortable. Whenever I put them on I hear her saying ‘oh so now ur wearing my shoes when you called them ugly’ and I often tell her they aren’t hers anymore because she’s not here and she shouldn’t be worried about lol we still have a laugh and she still reprimands me
❤❤❤
Beautiful mother you had, God bless her! And you!
This brought tears to my eyes
My Nana stays on me to do little things for my mom that she used to do for her. And to be disciplined in my daily tasks. Part of it is just training but I know its more then that ❤
More generations have been raised by stay at home mothers. Society was much better off when women could stay home and tend to their own children. Look at society now, it’s a mess. Children are pretty much raising themselves. No guidance, no structure, and a huge lack of discipline. To all the stay at home mom’s you have the HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD. You are valued and honorable, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Be proud of yourself! 🙌🏾🙏🏽💪🏾
That’s what I’m telling myself. Currently at home with my kiddos and putting my many years of school and advanced degree on the shelf. One day they won’t need me as much as I can go back to work. It is definitely way harder than going into work but eternally worth it.
Being a stay home mom is so nice ,but when the husband turns in another person suddenly, you will regret relying on them completely. It happened to me .
@@hildehausikujohannes7664it happened to you because of the type of man you choose, he never loved you completely. A man who does would never put you in that position! Women are choosing the wrong men to have babies with and it shows.
@@PsychiatricnerdI am on the other side of this (now old) and am sincerely thankful I made the choice to stay home. The actual pocket of time spent home is so very quick and intense but seems never ending. The years after child rearing do not have the depth and seem so very invaluable in comparison. I am thankful, extremely thankful I stayed home. It was a wondrous experience.
It happened to me too. When I saw the writing on the wall, I learned a new skill so I could leave with my children as soon as youngest went to school. I started my own very small service business and worked three to five days a week during school hours@@hildehausikujohannes7664
Even the women who were mothers for just 9 months before giving their children away, and thereby ending their motherhood, are honored by me. Thank you for carrying me to term, birth mother.
What a special way of looking at the situation. I agree with honoring those who chose to continue the miracle of life by not killing the unborn child. They are the ones who allow that beautiful miracle to be loved & nurtured by another who could not have their own child. Most who accept the gift of life, by another, realize what a precious gift & sacrifice they have been provided & cherish that gift forever.
I have 2 biological children, 2 adopted children, have fostered numerous children, and have been blessed with grandchildren (somewhom I also raised). ALL of these precious beings provide me with so much love, joy, happiness, etc.,etc. They've given my life meaning & mean more than the world to me.
My daughter's child was taken from her & placed into state care because she wasn't able to care for him. I struggled with fighting to adopt him myself or allowing him to be adopted by a stranger. One of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. He was adopted, out of family, (for his benefit) & has been (& remains) very well cared for & loved. At the age of 7 he asked me why his (biological) mother "gave him away" a question that broke my heart. I answered that she didn't give him away but unselfishly felt she couldn't care for him appropriately, she loved him so very much that she painfully decided to provide him with a better life in the care of another person. (I could have told him hurtful things about his mother & how it all happened BUT she does truly love him & didn't know how to be a mother) He was provided the words that I pray he'll consider was an unselfish act & be thankful to her, as you are, for his life.
Sorry for the long rant... haven't expressed these feelings in many years. You are a special person to appreciate your biological mother, as you've stated. You have brighten my day & given me hope going forward. May God bless you with continued love.
This is so beautiful. ❤
Wow that's so deep and loving , a profound gratitude for the life you've been given
I'm a new mom and chose to leave my teacher career to be a stay at home mom and wife. Best feeling and decision I've made! I enjoy cooking, taking care of my daughter, and do chores around the house and outside. These kids did not choose to be born just to be thrown in daycare then school. They need love and your time. Raising a child is like investing in a million dollar stock you will see it growing everyday. And after 21 years you see the value in your investment and if you're lucky see your grandkids! 👌
I also resigned from my teaching career and am doing homeschooling for my children and chores and not forgetting the wife part. Boy,is a lot of work and lots of investment. But i will choose the path again and again
Beautiful
Exactly!! I’ve been a SAHM for 14 years, and homeschooling my 4 kids. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. There’s definitely hard days, but it’s completely worth it
@@gracemogau3776 amen! Same here!!
I stayed home for my son For 5 years but not working and being a house servant is boring af
The best experience of life! Nothing in this world (for me anyway) compares to the journey of motherhood. I’m a single mom with zero support or involvement from the dad practically since birth, my son is almost 18 … financially it gets stressful at times, though for the most part he is unaware of that stress as it’s my responsibility not his to bare…. but the massive blessing of raising this amazing little being into an incredible adult has been my greatest privilege in this life. Such a beautiful gift in the human experience.The best if you ask me.
great on you not to project the challenges on him
God bless you
@Olivia Hamilton Same here. From conception to womanhood, the best experience of my whole life. I wouldn't change it for anything else...., trust me!
I can relate being a single mother myself the journey is sometimes rocky but also rewarding you find out so much about yourself. From the moment you find out you're pregnant your mind instantly changes about everything
Oh yes. Motherhood is my greatest joy and privilege. It’s an absolute honor. It is exhausting and requires so much sacrifice. I worry and I pray and I set myself aside for them, again and again and again. Motherhood is a sacred calling and I’m so grateful to experience it.
I tell my children you never truly understand love until you have a child. The willingness to happily sacrifice everything from sleep to your perceptions of the world for one tiny person is awe inspiring. I have the privilege of being called mom by 4 amazing kids. You're absolutely right when you say you learn that you aren't an adult, you realize your short comings, and you get the relief from not being the center or attention. Watching full grown "rough" looking people transform back into that hopeful being of their youth at a smile from a baby is amazing. Old people playing peekaboo with your toddler in the checkout line at the grocery store is also heartwarming.
Love comes in many different forms and not just in children. If it didn’t then marriage and friendships would be rendered useless.
If find that kinda damaging but you do you 🤷♀️
💯
Being a mother is the most rewarding, gut wrenching, exhilarating, heartbreaking positions you can ever hold.
Sounds awful
@@snoozyq9576 yes it sounds awful but it's not.
Pain for another is proportionate to the love you have for them, wrenching and heartbreaking only because of the profound love.
@@rommytize if your aim is to make your life as positive, joyful and smooth sailing as possible, and blot out the hardships you will never grow. This comes in many forms, not just being a parent, I grant you that, but it's not good to shy away from an experience you have not acquainted yourself with.
To you, but please also respect those that choose other options in life.
A big problem I see is that men and society in general expects us to fulfill the archetype of the Great Mother....to mother everybody else but our selves.
Yes. I'm not throwing my children to rhe wolves. Sorry nope. I will disciple my children in Christ and throw them into the arms of Jesus instead. Jordan Peterson's poetic form of parental neglect is not honorable or appaudable.
I was a bit confused about how JP gave those examples. I’ve always tried to teach my children integrity, and although I, in my children’s late teens became a Christian, I believe it helped. I was a Christian in my values and ethical thinking. Thank you for your comment, it helped me see more clearly how one as a parent can throw ones children to the wolves instead of directing them towards Jesus. My children are now 22 and 20, and I do try to direct them towards Christ but it’s still a very fine line because they’re older… any advice is welcome. God bless!
@@SecretplaceintheGlory In times of need God will carry you, God never gives you more then you can handle, all the miracles and mysteries and you have doubt in his love and protection spreading into them, regardless of you, they have their own paths to walk to build their own relationship with faith. I was raised (I am now 38, I have 4 children aged 12-20) without a preacher, without a religious group, just a mother who taught me I was more then what people judged me for (trust me I have been judged plenty). Faith was in me from the start, born in an environment where my mother just trusted me, God made himself known as did many things as naturally as breathing. God does not need to be taught, most teach the beauty away, just have some faith in his direct teachings, through yourself too. With love
And then wonder why they don't have time for self care...
@Chris P Well, what about your expectation of yourself? Your choice of role? When you live according to your choice, there's no problem whatsoever. It's the difficulty of generalities, that we tend to ignore our own conscious choice, see?
The mother and family is the stability of civilization pretty important job.
I agree
YES!!
YES. It's a pretty IMPORTANT JOB that our "civilized society values" less and less.
Of course, it's enough WORDS around that, but not many deeds. Mostly, blah, blah, blah.
If society really valued motherhood/fatherhood it would look completely different.
@@xpsxps1339 The motherhood role has NEVER been valued. Always subject to the will of the child's father. Not entitled to control over her life.
@@chriswatson1698, I guess it was valued up to some measure and sort of formally acknowledged (see a virgin Mary position in the Christian religion; at least they recognized she existed and her name is in the most read book in the world, lol), but I agree with you.
I rather meant past (not that distant yet - 30-40 years ago) when women themselves (and also some men) considered motherhood a value worthy of pursuing. Nowadays...? Not that much anymore.
I’m a Mother of five sons and I’ve stayed home for about 30 years now. I recently spent 70 days in a cancer hospital (now in complete remission) and my Father died whilst I was there. My oldest sons were the strength my Mother needed and they stood by her the whole time. (They have listened to a lot of Peterson’s work thankfully). Our fourth son became the parent / big brother to our teenager and they made great progress.
I haven’t regretted being home with my children. When you’re on your deathbed-you absolutely know what is important and what you are grateful for. My Christian faith is why we lived this way. We sacrificed for the children. And it has been so worth it. Thank you Dr Peterson. 💙
What exactly did you sacrifice for your children? I do not understand why mothers always say they sacrifice. What do they sacrifice exactly?
@@TeaCup1940 The most valuable resource - TIME
@@MasterPeaC1 mmm not really
Christian tr4sh
Themselves !!! their future !!! Their career ,if they had one!!! Maybe their identity!!! And their financial state and more! I am 52 married 31 years and raised a big family and I am proud of it !!!! Yet, for 10years I have been wanting to go back out there into the world and contribute certain values and experiences and more to others! Why-cause there is a time our children leave their nest and a time where we need to rethink our life BUT-that’s where I say, that when that time comes all doors seem to shut down on you (like what did you do all these years experience etc…) So… YES!!! we sacrificed!!! But if we think about our beautifully intelligent (emotionally physically and intellectually-) children , I can not regret my contribution towards this🏆🏆🏆❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I always assumed I was going to be a mom. Then, life and God had other plans for me. I am happily married and have an enormous admiration of mothers. They are the most amazing creatures in this world!
Psalm 113, May you also be a joyful mother of children ♥️
Just wanted to say you seem like an amazing pet parent, either way!
God knew if I had kids, I'd just screw them up.
God bless you ❤
Creatures?
Careers, just a means to make money, family is where life is, some only learn that when it's too late!
I am happy with my career. You don't need biological family to be loved.
@@littledarkage323 keep telling yourself that when the firm goes bust or you retire, and your alone, careers, all lifes about huh.
@@mikelong5207 Nobody cares about your misogynyst opinion.
@@littledarkage323 of course, having a family can only be driven by misoginy, one day you will grow up and realise your indoctrinating yourself into misery.
@@mikelong5207 You don't know me. Misery loves company. That's why miserable reproduce. The Earth is overpopulated enough.
Just moved a city away from my adult sons and feeling lonley for them and guilty for leaving them to fend for themselves with me an hour away. Wow! I needed the reminder that my Job is to put them out there and face the world gifted with my teaching and love. Thanks to Dr. Peterson! Again....
1 hour away is pretty close, actually :)
What you could do is convince yourself that they are capable and also signal that to them, whenever they talk to you.
Convince yourself, that they can do great things.
@Jennifer Belanger you did the right thing , I did the same thing for my adult son and it's the best thing for them , now he takes full responsibilities for his life giving me the opportunity to build my happy days left by doing things I never did and plaining my last days how I will end my chapter with happy end knowing full well I did the best for my child .
You need a life. So tired of hearing about needy mothers raising little kids for wives to take care of later. Seriously none of you raise men it’s hysterical
@@brokegirl1452 I raised my grandsons...they all joined full enlisted, active duty..they signed up in their senior year of high school to help pay for educational- (they are only allowed 1-2 classes/semester, takes a long time) they serve in 3 different military branches and are thousands of miles awY. I only see them about every 2yrs. Thank God for cell phones, but most countries you can't just call from- especially if in/near socialist governed. We miss each other. I am happy that they do their own laundry and cleaning and pay their expenses. You see, many don't know that military meals cost $350-450/mo. Now some do seem to get by without paying, I guess it's during the time when you sign up. I never get my advice anyting because most of the time the military guys just want someone to listen to them and talk to. I am proud to say 1 of them have complete it their Bachelors of Science degree. Another one is about to finish his and the youngest one is just starting his college- he wants to be an electrician. When my brother was in Vietnam for two tour so we didn't get to hear from him sometimes for 9 months. And I agree with you that the youth today need to be more independent taking care of themselves but they were also raised with like The Stranger Danger videos and knowing that you have to always have a buddy system something that wasn't experienced years ago when I was young. But I am happy that you sound like you are a person who has also taken care of themselves. At the same time you must maintain a Family Trust and availability in The Grand in your children so they know that if any family member needs help that we're all to pull together and do so. I'm sorry about being so wordy but I do understand what you are saying. But you should never see a family member homeless and not reach out and help get them back on their feet either. You definitely sound like you've had some battles that have made you have to stand stronger.
Iron sharpens iron
I hate playing down how much I love spending time with my husband and my children just so I don't upset friends and colleagues who are divorced or not enjoying parenthood. But at the same time I think it's so important young people know and understand how beautiful a family life and parenthood can be so 1) they don't let the bad examples influence their decision about having or not having children and 2) to start the family-adventure with a positive mindset.
Yea I hate how mainstream it is to disparage it. No wonder people are not having lasting relationships as much anymore
This is the comment rh! I just experience this sentiment as well. Like I love my husband and son and our family, I don't comment much because negative Nancy's want to stir up, create, or discuss turmoil. I protect my family from them and that energy
No one eve told me how wonderful it actually is. I found out thankfully 🥰
I became an RN and had two children while working full time. Eventually my husband and I determined for ourselves what’s important two incomes or a mother that raises, educates her children and is always available. I quit my job had two more children and became a stay at home mom. Homeschool my children and know that I am doing exactly what I want and supposed to do. My kids are so loving, they are courageous, they will stand up against evil and walk with the oppressed. I raise them with so much love, give them the self confidence they need in this world. There is nothing better to see than watch your children laugh and truly be happy.
Me too! I had two children while going through school and working and when my third came we decided I was more needed in our home. It was hard to walk away from my salary but being a nurse will never mean as much to me as being at home with our children.
What does walk with the oppressed mean
I became a mother at 18 years old and now have four children. The greatest accomplishment in my entire life is becoming their mother. Worth every sacrifice.
Sure it is
No amount of money can buy those times, as it is a well worth sacrifice.
💯
Lol when you couldn’t accomplish anything beyond basic function of every living organism…
so what did you sacrifice exactly? you did what you wanted and enjoyed it, and are proud of it for some reason, doesn't sound like the definition of sacrifice
I had a really abusive upbringing and it took me a long time to tame my nature so I put off having kids so I didn't pass on intergenerational trauma. It wasn't a sacrifice, it was fear. I also was forced to have an abortion at age 15 and almost died during the procedure and had to have other gyne procedures that were very painful. Anyway, fear was my reason. I'm in my 50's now, divorced, no children. I'm grateful it didn't happen and well, that was God's will for me. But as far as growing up, it's true. I still feel like a young adult still learning to take care of myself. Some of us start at point zero in development. Some of us start at -20. I'm grateful I got to where I am and am not a harm to society or anyone but giving back with my work and creative projects. I understand Dr Peterson's point of view but there are nuances to life and traumas that are not about cognitive decisions but deeply seeded issues that need to be honoured.
Thank you for sharing 🙏
I respect your decision. If I was in our position I hope I would have done the same. I also appreciate that you brought up the face that we do not all start at 0. It is a common misconception that we are a blanc slate when we are born. We are genetically different from each other. We are born into opportunities or a lack of opportunity. To say that we ALL can become anything if we just work hard enough is simply not correct. Putting up reasonable goals and enjoying your accomplishments is the way to go. Good job. ❤
Thank you for sharing. Bless you for suffering those things. I believe that through Christ all will be made right. And if you so choose you will be able to be a mother one day, I believe that during Christ millennial reign many will be given the opportunities that they were not given in this life. Hope in Christ.
Thanks I have a very similar pathway in life it seems but halfway through your journey. I have a strong desire to be a parent. But I also want to protect my potential children from the truckload of trauma I have experienced and am healing which a slow painful and arduous process. Definately relate to the -20 anology I like to say my caregivers threw me into a hole its taken most of my life to climb out of
Thanks for sharing. I also decided not to have any children, even if I actually would of loved to have my own family (husband and children). In my mothers family they have many people with NPD (Narcisstic Personality disorder = narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths). My mother is a evil, sadistic psychopath, my sister is a narcissist and my brother is also a evil, sadistic psychopath. I am like my dad; a caring, loving, heard working, honest person. So when I really thought about having children or not, I decided against it, because most probably I have NPD in my DNA and just because I don’t have it, one of my children could have it. And I can tell you, I would never want to be the parent of a narcissist or psychopath! My psychopath mother, narcissist sister and my psychopath brother made my dad’s life and my life to hell (daily mental, physical and financial abuse). I can’t have more of these evil people in my life. It’s sad that I had to decide against having children, but I am proud of myself that I decided not to give birth to a potential narcissist or psychopath.
Being a mother was the best hardest job i ever had and worth every minute.
Becoming a mother puts you into a vulnerable situation. By doing all the child care, you are investing in your partner's earning capacity at the expense of your own. While you are cooking the meals and doing the laundry, he is acquiring knowledge and skills that have monetary value in capitalism.
You have no legal right to control any of the income that you are supporting. And the man whose career you are investing in, is entitled to abandon you at any time and give the proceeds of your investment to another woman.
Then don't choose a shitty man
There’s more than one good way to do parenthood-and that traditional arrangement is not the only way or the best way.
@@shirokira6513 You can't tell before you are married whether a man is shitty or not. And men can change like anyone else. It is safer to invest in your own earning capacity and not have sex with any man.
Thanks for saying this, I'm glad someone brought it up. Women give away their power to raise children and care for husbands. It's very much a one-sided arrangement, even a racket. Is it any wonder that women today find that deal unappealing?
Chris Watson, you have described my situation exactly. My husband left, and now I am in my 50s, with very little earning capacity. Even with my Bachelor's Degree which I got before we had kids, the 25-year work gap is making it difficult to get a job and if I can find one, the pay will be very, very low. My ex is making six figures. I also had the potential to make as much as he is making now if I had pursued career instead of stay-at-home motherhood. Vulnerable is definitely the word for it.
I have a friend who doesn't want kids because she doesn't want to change her lifestyle and have the responsibilities of motherhood. And as a mother of 2, I support that shit 10000%.
Thank you
I am totally with you on that!
When I consider the sadness and hurt unwanted children feel, I totally agree with her decision.
God bless you and your friend. At least she's smart enough to know beforehand.
I so agree
A mother is often taken for granted. She runs the family and search for solutions for her children and husband and forget to take care of herself So
always respect and love your mother because no one knows what lives in her mind
Well said.
Often unappreciated
Beautifully said ! God bless all mothers
And what are we supposed to do with mothers who beat, slut-shamed and overall abused their children from their young age up to 30s?
@@-Mitra-kick them out of your life and don’t look back, but we’re talking about the good ones here. I’m sorry you’re hurt, I’ve been very hurt by my own mother as well, but good mothers are incredible.
Easy for a male to say that it’s not an original thought. It’s an instinct. Many good mother’s have had that thought without having ever heard someone else say it.
Well surely you have realised he knows nothing about women. Tbe man is a clown.
Exactly
Motherhood is like spirituality. You understand it n its fullest form only when you experience it. We can talk, study and do research about spirituality but we understand it only we when we experience it.
Giving birth and first time breastfeeding made me cry. It is an extremely powerful and profound experience. It seems now you understand creation little bit more.
Excellent example
❤
"I don't know if it's true, but i know that the opposite is false." Man he's so close to getting the gospel.
Man needs many more of us praying for him.
Motherhood is and always will be a huge sacrifice. I say that with all the love I have for my two children. That does not take away the pain, worry, anxiety, etc. you suffer by being a mother. You have joy and worry from the time they are born until YOU die. I am 46 and my mother calls me at least 5 times a week to see if am ok. It doesn't stop when they move out. You will worry until you are dead and not a minute before. Then there is the chance that your child will have special needs. You plan and dream of your child living a full life, and your world crumbles when that doesn't happen. My daughter has autism. Not the new modern kind of autism that some people say they have to fit somewhere (not trying to sound harsh).The kind of autism that leaves you breathless and feeling like you could die from the pain at seeing your child of 25 not being able to tie her shoes. My daughter will need care the rest of her life. People plan for their child's wedding or house buying or college. My husband and I plan for what home or center we will put her in when we die or are to old to care for her. That is real, and no amount of loving will change that. Do I love her? YES. I would give my life for her. Please be prepared for anything before having children. Have a partner that will be there with you through it all (I could not imagine not having my husband with me). Make sure you are all in, before you bring someone into this world. If you are prepared, then be ready for the wonderful joy that being a parent can be. Best of luck to all.
I have autistic son, he's only 6 now, nobody knows yet how much he can develop, maybe he'll be completely independent, maybe not, and I'm alone, because his father didn't want responsibility and sacrifice. Better start new with another woman, and have an easy child, easy life.
I didn't know he was this kind of person, until we started to have issues with our child.
But I'm doing my best for my son, so he can have a fulfilling life.
Thank you for your comment, it's so nice to hear there are good men
Maribel God is with you at all your time and every day of your life and knows your pain and he will never forsake you and your family. Prayers your way!
Life is difficult. It is unfair, and promises made are not always kept. There is no guarantee that the man or woman you marry is going to stay for the long haul. They might enter the marriage with every intention of being the best husband or wife on the planet. Then, along comes trouble that will not have a happy ending..health issues become overwhelming, a special needs child is born, financial failures pile up one on top of the other, the Communists drop bombs on your country, whatever. This is real life. I am glad your husband is a strong, supportive partner . Every woman wishes she had one. Every man wishes he had a supportive wife. Promises made, are not always promises kept.
Life is difficult. It is unfair, and promises made are not always kept. There is no guarantee that the man or woman you marry is going to stay for the long haul. They might enter the marriage with every intention of being the best husband or wife on the planet. Then, along comes trouble that will not have a happy ending..health issues become overwhelming, a special needs child is born, financial failures pile up one on top of the other, the Communists drop bombs on your country, whatever. This is real life. I am glad your husband is a strong, supportive partner . Every woman wishes she had one. Every man wishes he had a supportive wife. Promises made, are not always promises kept.
Being a mother was the best experience in my life. I had sacrificed my career so I could raise my kids properly with full attention. Now, I have built a bond that is unbreakable and understand them like an open book. Also, just like Jordan Peterson said, all I need is just a glance ( you should know better), and they understood. I know their strength and weaknesses, and I'll find ways to help them.
I was told by my ex spouse that being a mother was my “role”. It was also excepted in a court of law to break it down to a simple role. Being a mom isn’t a role you play, it’s not a part in a play. It is the greatest privilege and gifts I have ever or will ever be given.
“Behold the handmaid of the Lord.” “Be it done unto me according to thy word.” “And the Word was made flesh.” The epitome of everything.
It has to be true. But you know it to be true. You were touched by God, weren’t you?
@@sliglusamelius8578 When I was five. “Become like little children.”
I am one of 14 {12th} children ,one thing my mom often did was eat last ,long after we had supper. She made sure all of us were fed first ,growing up early in life there was 9 of us at home.
Mother's always eat last..
@@KumariKumari-fw7nc Not all of them , not the vain selfish ones ,I have seen it.
@@marcdemell5976 then may be you are one of the few lucky one's .
My mother was also like that.She is no more..😪
@@KumariKumari-fw7nc Sorry to hear that ,take care and stay hungry for truth and justice,amein.
I ate with them together, it is bonding.
Blood sweat and tears but oh so worth it. Thank God I had a supportive husband ( the best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother ) . Four children ( doctor, banker, lawyer and entrepreneur ) It was Not easy but nice now to look back in relief and gratitude.
I agree with you. The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. That is the highest male purpose in life. So many men don't see that.
I hate it when you put a brand to a man like that. Imagine if your husband said he wants to stay at home because he cant stand being away from the kids and you have to go to work while ill stay at home because the best thing a woman can do is to love the father of their children. See how silly that stament is?
Your husband sacrifice a lot for your happiness. He might be happy doing that. But dont put words into the minds of other young men that they need to be supportive of their wife staying at home and if you dont it means you dont love them. Its a selfish view. Family decision should be made together by the husband & wife. Especially major decisions.
That’s awesome!!!
@@sarahrobertson634 I totally agree with you!!
@@secrets.295 Please shut up.
With every child I had my soul expended so much that before my second was born I could not imagine my heart and soul can expend even more. But with every child I feel bigger and worthy of life and love ❤
I never wanted children until I met my hubby at 35. I was scared of the responsibility, so I chose to dive in to my fears and now I have a son who is soooo amazing! Life is more challenging, beautiful and scary at the same time, but I’m enjoying watching him learn and grow, and I’m growing as a person. I am grateful to be his mother.❤️❤️❤️
I also never wanted children until I met my husband at 35. We now have a lovely daughter whose has completely changed our lives ❤
But if you could go back in time and have your old life back, would you ?
@@Satsussssamething happened to me and I cannot imagine living a life without my daughter so I wouldn’t mind my old life but with my daughter in it ❤
Damn. I’m born/raised Catholic and never contemplated the quintessential mother of humanity that way; her lot in the role of suffering. Her willingness to send her son off into a violent world to suffer and die as a metaphor for all mothers. It’s probably because I’m a father, but I had to pause the video to just let that settle.
I'm a woman and I did too. Raised Catholic too. JP is just that good.
If u look at Revelation 22:17 and Galatians 4:26 we actually have God the Mother who appears in tbe bible
@@gerrykekatos4339 Neither of those is talking about Mary. Galatians is talking about covenants "The women represent two covenants"
I warmly recommend reading Scott Hahn’s “Hail, Holy Queen” for a more in-depth look at this, it’s easy to read but very in-depth and eye-opening at the same time. Truly life-changing for me as a Catholic convert :)
Do you think it's a coincidence you didn't learn or notice in church?
It's so interesting that so many people are idealizing and obsessing about becoming a parent, Prof. Peterson included. That's quite an elitist and discriminatory mindset. I assure you, a person can absolutely mature and not be selfish and have a meaningful purposeful life even without even having children. May I remind you that Jesus himself never became a father. There's also a lot of bravery and mercy in intentionally deciding TO NOT bring another soul into this world. How is it not selfish to have children only because of the fear to be alone in your old age?
😂
Raising a family is the hardest job you will ever have. I stayed home. My husband worked. We raised three, hard working young men. I am so proud of my sons. Most kids are monsters because they were raised by monsters or they raised themselves. Kids have to be taught how to love others and how to be decent people. I taught my sons to respect ALL people. ALL colors and ALL races. I was taught that way. My boys are 32, 29 and 21. They still call and ask me questions about everything. You never stop being a Mom. It’s a never ending job !!!!
Perfect picture. Mine is not, accept one, and he's because got autism.
You could’ve been so much more never ending legacy but children hold you back.
Ms. Krueger that’s awesome!! I know they totally appreciate you!’
The only thankless job there is, is working for someone else. When you're a mother, yes, your children may take you for granted on occasion, but you are the Sun of their solar system.
So true
@@Living_Connectedness anyone think saying something like this is insensitive and alienating?
I'm a support worker and on my way to become a social worker. Plenty of other roles a woman can play that are thankless 🤣 I don't need to be someone's sun, I don't require anything in return for what I do or to be someone's most important thing in the world. I do it because it is my purpose.
You don’t grow up until you have to look after someone else! Absolutely agree ☺️ I appreciate everything this professor says he’s on point on a lot of concepts!
A story that a man died and his will said his son would only get his inheritance when he crawled on all fours. No one understood this til the son had a son of his own and crawled on the floor to amuse and play with his son. Then he was ready for his inheritance.
What if it’s an animal you’re looking after?
I work at a daycare and I look after 6 kids and I learned that the hard way lol. You can’t think about yourself a whole lot. It’s all about the kids.
@@deborahomalley2170 my cat, my furry baby, was 10 when my daughter was born and it's nowhere near the same. I love my cat with all my heart, but if the house catches on fire, I'm saving my daughter. If I have to choose between feedings my daughter or the cat, my daughter will eat. When my cat dies, I will survive, but if I have to lay my daughter to rest, I will never recover. If I have to choose between saving myself or one of them, I will die for my daughter but I know for sure that I can't say the same for my fur baby. I know both loves, and the love you have for your own offspring (if you're mentally healthy, of course) is not on the same level at all ❤️
@@farmhouseonthemountain yes I agree I wrote that comment because my one son and his wife have a dog which they claim is better than having a child. So far they choose not to have children. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I had two sons and a dog. The dog was definitely part of the family . But I can’t I’m imagine my life without my boys.
Oh how your lectures librate me! My mother raised us according to Gibran's prose-poem "On Children" which starts with, "Your children are not your children--they are the son's and daughter's of life's longing for itself..." I understood this poem and raised my children with the awareness of its meaning, allowing my children's souls to play out their lessons with as much support as allowed. Its been colorful but I sill stand by it, and I thank you Dr. Peterson for your continuous, rich, straight forward illuminations in all areas of life. You are indeed an Earth Angel and I love you.
That expression isn’t far off the concept of the ‘selfish gene’ in evolutionary theory, first put forward by Richard Dawkins
There have been many joys and many sorrows associated with my experience of being a mother. The most fulfilling and challenging part of my life.
That's what our pandemic born babies have missed. Having the world love on them simply because they exist.
I had many ppl (mostly relatives) ask me why I did not pursue college to "better" myself but instead dove head first into motherhood and housewiving. I told them if they didn't understand, they never would
❤
Not every woman wants to be mother. When you get old and kids abandon you, you'll regret not having job.
@@littledarkage323 omg. And not every woman feels the need to conquer the corporate world. I have had jobs and they hold nothing compared to the home I have made for my children and my husband. You know nothing of our bonds.. My kids freaking love me. But that was a good attempt at gaslighting.
@@carlamarlene2927 Your problem. Don't be desperate. Not everyone wants to be like you.
@@littledarkage323 I don't see it as a problem. But you seem to. What's your issue with me loving being a housewife?
Yep mother’s are truly the glue that holds things together. I am in my late forty’s and just recently lost my mother suddenly to covid and I can already feel this distance coming to my family that has always been close. 😕
I grew up without a mother but was raised by emotionally absent grandparents , who antagonized me all through out my life even though im alllowed to live in their house i still know those pains had an effect on my young mind im 24 now still living here but ive been slowly vut successfully reconstructing my life and mental state to have a fighting chance at a amazing life that i can be myself and exhibit a warrior spirit through mma to prove anything is possible no matter how bleak the situation seems i know some poor soul has it worse then me
But i definetly wonder how i would have turned out if i had the typical mom and dad
Heart! I'm grateful to my birth mother for carrying me to term. I'm grateful to my adoptive parents (they were really grandparents, as were your caretakers) for keeping me alive, fed and housed. Here I am with a will of my own and a desire for a relationship with God.
Embrace the life God gave you. The intriquet details and life situations are all intwined for something Purposeful. It's beautiful and worthwhile. I commend you on the initiative to work on ur growth and healing. ❤ Remember Jesus is the answer. He's the Way, the Truth, and the Life. ❤
We have an epidemic of over-protective moms and neglecting dads. But people would rather point the finger and blame than pick up the slack. What can be done?
Good question! IDK I guess we could try and help w programs such as big brother and big sister. A teacher or coach. Aunts and uncles. Somehow perhaps we could all do more to be a positive influence upon our youth that does not have a sound family structure.
Would I also like to know. Always being the over-protective Mother with no support from the fathers. Now my adult children blame me for not being there for them in a way I should have been.
The child has to become the parent if they truly want to have a healthy relationship with the toxic parent or parent. Being self aware and aware of what’s going on with the parent allows the child to examine what’s going wrong with all parties
@@crystalhebrard8625 If man is an ass don't bear his kids
@@littledarkage323 Too late I found out.
Beautiful ! I am 5 months pregnant with my fourth at 40! My youngest is 16 right now . I chose consciously to have each one 💜💙
Thats fantastic!!! The trend I see today is young lady after young lady letting themselves get pregnant on the fly.
Theres a reason why there is a man and a woman to create a child , its because kids need both in their life. Along with a decent home, with loving and stable parents.
Today its like fall into bed with someone your not married to and you hardly know and don’t worry about having anything stable to offer a child , its sooooo selfish.!!
If a person is capable of offering a child a healthy life than go for it but ppl should never bring an innocent child into the world on a whim, because they never gave birth control or their one night stand a second thought, its so disrespectful towards that innocent child and thats the way ppl roll today. 😱
I want to talk to you! I reallllllllyyyyy want a 4th but I would be 40 by the time they’re born. I’m scared. No one supports this desire. I need a friend.
Wow. My daughter was planned and at 38, I'd love to have another, but I'm just so nervous to go back to the baby-in-my-bed days. I still don't know how to feel, especially since the world is SO scary right now. God bless you, mama bear. Congratulations on the new babe ❤️
Pray you have Have a blessed beautiful pregnancy and birth and a healthy happy baby 🙏🏽😊💖
Everyone isn't cut out for parenting. God bless those who are. I know I am not.
Just yesterday someone asked me if I ever worked.
I am 54, raised 3 kids.
I said I was a mother and wife.
He said that didn't count. Staying at home while someone else worked hard doesn't count, he said.
Then he said "haven't you heard of child care?"
As if I chose a lazy approach to life instead of pushing my children into creche.
I breastfed fully made homemade meals and was there for cuddles and chats whenever my kids wanted me.
I was judged back then for staying at home, and will continue to be judged.
Your kids will be grateful for that. Moms have many jobs and they’re paid in being able to love somebody.
It shocks me how people think dumping children in daycares where they will be neglected, unloved and just viewed as another number is somehow better than being nurtured with home cooked meals and emotion.
It is very easy for boring, unloved and material oriented people to look at that and judge. But who would want to be them?
No amount of money can buy time. Those time you invest in your kids are golden. I was shamed this way by my sisters when I chose to riased my kids. They will never know the amount of investment and sacrifices I put into raising my kids the right way, but my husband does. Being stay at home mom, you'll never have a break and not about you but everything around you and your kids. Now, as a working mom, I appreciated and applauded all the stay at home mom for all the things they do because it is a lot of sacrificed and invisible work that no one can see except them.
I’ve been both a stay at home (working) mother & a dual role working in & out of the home.
The first is much more difficult in my opinion.
I was under the impression FEMINISM was designed to support EVERY PERSONS choice how that person chooses to live their lives; not to fit into some Role Box that someone else decides for us?
I thinks it’s wonderful that what you’ve chosen works best for you & your family - that doesn’t mean I don’t offer the same respect to someone who chooses the polar opposite as you too.
There is no best path… Jordan’s archaic patriarchal mindset implies women aren’t fully women if they don’t see motherhood as the pinnacle of life. He’s so very wrong.
I truly don’t understand how people can’t connect that all of the money the wife earns would go to childcare. They’d be in an environment they weren’t loved. Kids hit there. There’s constant diseases and infectious germs.
@@user-yt6cy3gf8k Well, that isn't factual to begin with, so connecting to it would be a false narrative.
I've just found out I'm pregnant after a few years of trying and thinking it wouldn't happen for us. Already, things are starting to change and my priorities shifted overnight. I absolutely cannot wait for all of what's to come!
Mothers have been degraded overall. In 1975 I was told that my husband was insured for thousands while my contribution to the family was rated at a few hundred. The insurance tables basically dictated that home makers and wives were non-contributing and of no monetary value. When my son was indoctrinated into the Army, I was marginalized in favor of the service. As a parent of an adult child, my opinion is the last thing anyone wants because every other source is more agreeable. Disenfranchisement, disillusionment and distress is the lot of women who become mothers - especially today. Smart women choose not to sacrifice to this extent.
I got lucky that my dad was respectful and helped my mom - my husband also would willingly sacrifice all his time and money just to give me a better life - even taking on raising the child on his own if i just didn't want to be a mother .. I do agree with you things definitely need to change - a woman is not a brood mare or slave to her household
Agreed
This
Exactly. Mothers have sacrificed their whole lives to their children/ supporters of husband who take all the credit . Then wind up being abandoned by government/ SS and children in their old age. An old wise saying “ A woman’s work is never done “ Amen
Life insurance is just income insurance. If you died with young children much more would have been lost than just income. A mother's value is more than money, as dear as money is.
The creator of the pietra was an amazing sculpting artist. When he was young, his mom sent him to live with the wife of a stone mason, and the family, because she was very sick.
The surrogate mom cared for him, and he also learned how to work with stone as well.
This beautiful sculpture is the result.
that's beautiful, sad his mom got sick, thanks for sharing
Michelangelo
Can you please tell me the name of the artist or the sculpture?
@@essennagerry it is called the Pietà sculpted by Michelangelo and is in the Vatican in Rome.
@@kowens8504 thank you!
As a woman I felt I would miss something essential to being human when I struggled with infertility. Not being able to become a mother seemed to me the tragedy of my life. Thankfully the miracle happened and I have a son. I cried for joy when I found out I'm pregnant and I've also cried for realizing I would never ever be a free person anymore, my life will forever mean the responsability of raising and caring and worrying for that life I brought into the world. Trying to be a good mother is overwhelming me every day but I can't think of anything else that would give my life more meaning.
Motherhood, parenthood is tough. It involves blood sweat and tears - and that's just the conception! If anyone, male or female, doesn't want to become a parent then it's no one else's business. That, Dr Peterson, is why you get stupid answers: they're in response to a stupid and rather offensive question. The lady was simply too polite to tell you where to get off.
Hear hear!
It’s funny how no one notices there aren’t a lot of children around until the streets are empty on Halloween.
Motherhood isn’t valued in our society.
Agree! And now all this nonsense about “birthing people.” Forreal?! I feel it denigrates mothers further.
@@sarahp3144 I had 2 kids and i find that term so offensive.
@@DeLaTr0ll I only have one child, but I agree with you, it’s totally offensive!
@@jasonc2995 don’t I know it! And they’ve been building up to this point for a long time, people have just gone along with it all - I hope we are not past the point of no return, but sometimes I feel we are.
It isn't valued by men or women, husbands neither wives. Can't tell you how many times I've heard people say, "she doesn't do anything all day or work" when a woman is a stay at home mom who doesn't leave the house to formally work. When you say stuff like that to women/girls, that tells them that the only way I can have value is by formally working bringing in money and having either no children or one child who is raised by daycare and school.
I am a single mother of 3 young men and 1 beautiful little girl. My oldest join the Marine Corp and my second son wants to join. Being a mom is the most rewarding and heartbreaking job. Learning how to play both roles as mom and dad got harder as they grew up. My children are my blessings. I thank God everyday for them.
Same here know how you feel 👍❤️💐🙏
I was putting off my rosary by watching this video…and now i’m going to pause it and pray my Rosary. Did not expect to be confronted with such beautiful insight from the Holy Family when I clicked this. Jordan Peterson, God will indeed bless you for being so respectful of our Blessed Mother.
My son introduced me to you Jordan and I’ve introduced every Uber I’ve had since to you .I didn’t grow up with parents so needed allot of grace at 17 while attempting to me the perfect mother without a learners permit .
My dreams for my son since his birth shaped my choices for his future
I told him he’d be president one day / when we were homeless living in a tent
I told him it was because
when he got older and ran for his presidency that the average person would vote for him because they would know he understood what it was like to struggle
I told him God worked in ways we don’t always understand
That God uses all things for a good . I believe my baby boy help me survive in abusive marriage poverty despair .
Some thought I was uppity
having such high hopes
still I was so proud
to be his mom that God chose me being a kid myself
I think I wanted for him
that which I’d never seen an an option for me .
I wanted to change the world in big ways & if I couldn’t
I’d raise a son
with the ethics morals and humanity worthy of the Oval Office.
Today he is 39 his home is paid for he owns two businesses and is looking at purchasing a third
He has done all of this in less then a decade by himself
He’s a great man
If I could give him anything for his birthday it would be lunch with you Jordan his birthday is May 5th
He went to see you in Boston we live in Maine
You’re one of his heroes
God bless you
The Pieta is the first work of art that ever made me cry, and I was probably 10 the first time I saw it. The happiest I remember seeing my mother, rest her soul, was when she was a stay at home with us kids. Likewise, my happiest memories of her were during that same time. I waited until I was in my 30s to have a child and she's the best thing I've ever done regardless of how effed this world seems. It's hard and tiring, yes, but childhood is short and no one will ever love you like your child and likewise, you will never love ANYONE like you love your child. At the risk of cliché, I truly thought I know what real, unconditional love was until I felt that child kick in my belly and that love continues to expand. I would die for my child without a second thought and no part of caring for her is thankless or without great reward.
Beautifully, beautifully said.
I think our own mothers (the good ones) will love us more than our children. A mother's love is greater.
@@73cidalia Absolutely.
I truly loved reading this!!
My two most greatest gifts from God are my beautiful children. I became a single mom when my oldest was 7 and the youngest 4. I didn’t get child support or any other help. I had a really good job and was able to provide for them. It definitely had its share of stressful moments especially the holidays. My ex and I had to split that up and I would cry almost the entire day and night if they were with him. That was very hard. They are both grown now and are down to earth , polite and well mannered and they don’t get into trouble. They both work full time jobs. The love I feel for them cannot be described into words. It’s a love you’ve never known until you become a mother.
And there’s more than one way to be a good mother. You did great!
This made me cry! I really hope I get to a mother someday and I hope I’ll be a great one for them!
Your sons know, they will be great husbands and fathers..
"You're a Hell of a lot tougher than you think you are." Preach it!
Thanks. Peterson starts lectures without knowing how they'll end. Sometimes, he doesn't know the course, but counts himself able and navigates his way. Jordon often teaches as much in his diversions as the main topics. He is an interesting and exciting lecturer sharing some passion. Thanks for sharing this.
I gave birth two months ago and i am mentally,emotionally and physically traumatized.... Now only i understood what it takes to be a mother.... Not doing this again as i almost died
Even this aspect of motherhood needs to be talked about
Glad you didn't die.....but giving birth, no matter how physically dangerous it is, that's not all it takes to be a mother. Not even close. Hopefully you won't dwell on the birth experience for the rest of your life, looking for attention.
@@jenniferraymond9766 Your comment really wasn’t necessary. You should exercise some empathy or else keep on scrolling (as to not give it attention - or whatever you assume their objectives to be).
@@jenniferraymond9766 You're a terrible mother.
Your comment is valid. You have just begun motherhood. There will be days way more painful then your labour. There will also be joy.
I see this all the time as a teacher. The majority of mothers don’t let their children take accountability for their actions, shield them from redirection, or maybe even suffering . It’s very damaging as I’m worried about my students and if they will be able to maneuver in the real world outside of the four walls we do have
Could you share some examples? I want to avoid this with my own children.
And I think this is why I parent the way I do. I need them to know you can’t depend on me for everything you have to work through it. So I will offer my redirection but it’s a dis service to society if you hold your child’s hand and figure everything out for them
Every child different and as a mother you know them well plus everyone in their life mold them its a tough call
It’s possible that they do that bcs they don’t know better themselves. As it very often happens with all of us.
What do we do in that case ?…
If u could find a way to teach the kid to teach the parent, u’d be a rockstar!
No pressure tho: just a humble brainstorming. Sometimes, it’s all it takes for ideas to show.
Don't worry. You have a special opportunity to share your love and expertise to this little ones.
I've often regreted not having more children. Another good one from Peterson! Thank you.
My narcissist mother of 92 yrs just told me in a rage of anger I have been a troublemaker all of my life.
I have always been there for her, cleaning, caring and trying to make her love me unconditionally.
I did not succeed. I walked out after I had said that I forgive her.
I have endured her verbal and physical abuse since childhood.
I will no longer tolerate her backstabbing, her chronic lies and listening to her slandering the other members of the family and me for that matter.
I definitely feel sad but elated that I had the courage to stop the abuse and that I have stood up to defend myself.
Parental estrangement at 70. Imagine that!
I do want to honor her, love her and be a caring daughter but nothing that I have done could win her heart.
I pray for her daily.
This man has blessed me so much, he has wisdom worth listening to. Sometimes he amazes me.
An uncle of mine once said that the hardest job in the world is looking after someone else. I’ve found out
how true that is.
Mom's aren't admired anymore. When a mom does momly duties they are criticized so badly that being a mom isn't worth the stress anymore. Moms don't get the support and praise they deserve. It's hard being a mom where everything your child does is a reflection of you, even the bad things. I believe I could be a good mom, I just don't want to deal with the public.
There is nothing in life more rewarding and fulfilling then having children. Its as if the secret of life is suddenly revealed to you. As women we are blessed with the ability to create a life. Yes its difficult to juggle a career and raise a family and it requires alot of sacrifice, but the love and joy you receive in return is immeasurable.
I'm grateful, too! I get to watch children grow. It's fascinating! And I get to show them how to have a relationship with God. I'm honored!
Motherhood is my biggest responsibility, greatest joy & the thing that brings the most meaning to my life. If we used pain & suffering as a reason not to do things we wouldn’t do anything .. at least nothing worthwhile. Love is painful, relationships are hard but we don’t get refined without a little pressure & chipping away. I never for a minute considered not having kids.. definitely not because the world is so awful… I always imagined the infinite potential my kids brought into the world & how they can make an impact. As Christ followers that impact is for the kingdom not just the present material world. That’s not to say there’s something wrong w/you if you don’t have kids but I personally can’t imagine my life any other way.
The indigeneous Arawak women of the Caribbean actually stopped having babies because of the torture, rape, brutality and enslavement meted on them by the christi an europea ns that came to their lands (christopher colombus' fleet funded by the spanish monarchs)
Amen, I agree!
Jesus Christ never had kids. Neither will I.
@@littledarkage323 Jesus gave his life for you. It was his purpose for coming here, he is our salvation. He is your salvation.
@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua I would be grateful if you stop bothering me with your religion. and housewife syndrom.
There is a Filipino (Visayan) saying something like ... "You can only repay your mother if you become one"...
I have said the same thing, basically, that he said, to my 4 college kids: You’re not an adult until you fully take care of yourself, and not a fully an adult until you’re taking care of someone else.
My husband left me with five children under twelve, I chose to move away to,the bush and rent a small house live without much money but much wealth, I now have five adults who are respectful kind well educated adults, they know the value of money but they also know the value of close family, we are all still close
I had a conversation during the pregnancy of our third, I’m a guy. I had an old college friend call me and mentioned how much I had grown up. It’s absolutely true that you are not completely grown up until someone is more important than you!
Not all parents treat their kids as more important than them. That's a naive assumption.
@@zuzanazuscinova5209 and not all do. I understand that. He didn’t say that either. He just said that you aren’t fully grown until you do. There are plenty of people who grow up very little if at all after having a kid. I know a few people like that.
ALWAYS great to listen to this man, pure gold. Blessings ever from Belfast, Northern Ireland.
The ProAbortion group wants to hang him,the lgbtqiabcdef community wants him on an electric chair.The woke culture wanted him lynched.What a crazy world!The guy is speaking diamonds
Thank you for this... I share this often. This is why families are suffering, and mothers constantly feel they are falling short
There's nothing more corageous than being a parent, especially a mother. A total sacrifice in all life spheres till you die. Amazing!
Fathers are better than mothers
@@user-dc9oq2pr6v
Some fathers are definitely better than mothers.
Generally speaking though... I am a married woman with 3 children from the Caucasus, where taking care of children is still a woman's job, and providing + protecting is still a man's job. And I know what my daily battle is) It's hard, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's not easy for my husband as well, but it doesn't even stand near what I have to go through on a daily basis😁
So, in most cases a mom's job is harder.
Sounds.... awful.
@@SatsusssMaybe it does for some people. But, well, that's the reality of life for the majority of people on this planet)))
I have a teenage daughter, she is a real pain in the arse sometimes, but she is my greatest joy.
Ha ha. I have 5 teenagers at the moment and am a bit caught up in the pain in the arse aspect. Got to refocus on the greatest joy bit. Thanks for the reminder. ;)
@@kowens8504 Hats off to you - 5 teenagers?? Patience and love is needed and I tried not to get too angry even though it was well warranted sometimes lol
I really needed to hear this! I'm at the stage of sending my Son out into the World & although I have 2 daughters who are out there doing their best life & they are intelligent loving humans, I worry about my Son as he seems to disagree with alot of the way things are to the point he doesn't want to get involved or get out there. As a teenager myself I was out going caring & if something didn't seem right or people were being hurt in some way we'd protest or try change the situation to a better outcome! My Son is also very intelligent & has a cares so much for the things he is interested in & the people but I did worry about him going out into the World buy after seeing this talk today it resonates very deeply & I understand. Thank you💌
I experienced other people liking my babies. I had four sons in the 1970s. I felt frustrated that I didn't get my university degree during those years, but at the age of 49, I earned an Associate of Arts Degree with student loans. I have say, that the years I spent at home with our sons were the best of my life. My most gratifying feelings come from watching our sons achieve good things by working hard and being honest and reliable. I enjoyed my university courses later in life. What you say is true.
I just want to say that there will be no person who will ever love you the way your mom loves you.
Working, stay at home, please don’t judge her. She tries to be better than she was yesterday and even though with all her so much she does, she always has that mom guilt. Next time you try to judge a mother, try to imagine yourself in her shoe. She does everything out of love and affection. All mothers are angels!
Also remember: You are not promised a healthy baby. I could not cope with a child with special needs. I spent my childhood raising my brother with special needs because my mom was a drug addict.
Now I work as a support worker for people transitioning from prison to the community. I help people whose parents fucked up. I would rather dedicate my life to ministering to the needs of the people in my community than have a baby. There are other ways to grow up than have a kid. I couldn't support people as effectively as I do if I hadn't done some growing up. I also couldn't do my job as well as I do if I had a baby or child. Because I have that time at home to rest, I am more effective at work.
Also currently studying to be a social worker. I love people, just don't want to be a mother. I serve a higher power and I'm on the path I'm supposed to be and that path has not led me to motherhood.
Thank you for sharing that. I am a mother of a 2 y old baby so far and despite bo
being tired and overwhelmed at times I still wish for at least one or more kids. But I also have a Sister (5 yesrs older) and she-like you- chose not be become a mom. She is very comitted to her job as NGO worker and an activist mostly caring for refugees. And although I feel a little bit sąd as a Sister I fully understand and support her decision. Bęcause it's not for me to judge-maybe if she had a Child of her own like me she wouldn't be able to do so much good in this World as she does. She does it her way and I do it my way. We both contribute with good i te skonsultowac to the docięty I can't imagine going back to bo
being a teacher
in the kindergarten again (my life before my child) because I am too well aware of the huge responsibilities on both sides-as a mom of my own one and as a teacher. As you said-I feel I would too need the resting time for myslelf so mych and I most probably wouldn't have one. So for now of corsę I chose to be a mom and an educator for my own baby. We should choose what we feel is right and true for us and stop judging one another. If I chose this path it doesn't mean everyone around needs to feel the same calling. Life can get pretty hard and unfair no matter what we do. Even if we love what we do and/or who we do it with. All the best to you from Poland!:)
I have children and I'm glad of my choice. But I 100% agree with you! Motherhood is NOT everything. There is plenty of options to be complete as humain without having kid! What you do is amazing 🥰
Great point. These are the things I disagree with him on. His staunce insistence that we need more people to the billions of people already here, and that it's a good thing to let people come into this world. He just dismisses it as a meme or unoriginal, but doesn't explain it very well. Many things he says are unoriginal but it doesn't make them untrue.
Sounds to me that you actually are a mother..
Maybe not to a biological child but definately to your community💗
What we leave behind, and the way we look at it growing older, is not the same as now where u remember what u’re building even if those are beautiful meaningful pieces of you here & there u spread. Overtime it seems like the need of leaving behind meaningful things emphasizes, as we feel time slipping away our fingers and are remembered our mortality in active terms of pain. Now whats the most meaningful thing a woman can live/leave: …
The answer’s on YOU. 😉
Being a mom is great. Having a strong support system is so important while doing it. I live in an extremely rural town with zero family or friends to call upon when I need help- it does a great disservice to my children and myself to not have that kind of community. Wish I had realized that sooner.
I understand that. Beside one of my sisters, I got a lot of stones thrown before my feet. I don't know, why people have the need to make other peoples lifes worst.
My situation is similar. 😔
That can be really grueling.
0
That's why community is so important in religion. It's for the children and for the parents as well
Thank goodness there are so many fantastic moms and dads out there with beautiful families. I had always thought I wanted to be a mother when I was a little girl. But when I got older - I just didn't feel secure enough under the circumstances to embark on that. I felt like it was way too overwhelming and that I didn't feel like I could really rely on anyone enough to be able to raise children. I discovered my own parents were much less dependable and more immature than I had ever realized, and for some reason did not seem to wish the brightest and best future for me, and that the attitude of the majority of people I was around was not conducive to having a healthy family, and especially not for getting pregnant and starting one. My parents really gave it all their effort, but they seriously were not mentally healthy, and it wasn't their fault. And their brothers and sisters weren't either, and that didn't help. And even my grandparents had some real problems, and that also is a big part of why their kids had problems and why I had problems. And a whole lot of people I was around when I was a teenager and young adult had a lot of problems, big problems, probably even bigger problems than mine ever were, and the general idea was that women can take care of kids by themselves and everything will be okay, which I have always known was an absolutely ridiculous false generalization. My feeling about this never changed and just seemed to be a justified opinion over and over again. I really think I made the right decision to avoid any strong romantic involvement with anyone I met and to make sure no accidental pregnancies occurred. I am honest and true to the very core, I do not engage in any kind of shady business, and I look reality straight on. I have no misconstrued fantasies of being able to get away with whatever by manipulating anyone, and if the situation just isn't healthy, I'm sure not going to add to the problem by embarking on a giant responsibility that is going to involve a large part of the rest of my life, most of which is going to rest squarely on my shoulders. If I had met Prince Charming, it would possibly have been different. But I think there are other things I am going to devote my life to that are important that I would not have had the opportunity to do if I had met Prince Charming... and I am grateful for that. We all have lives that differ greatly and the factors are either there or are not that lead us to the decisions we make and the actions we take. I know I made the right decision under the circumstances. But I don't know if it's for better or worse in the end. Should I have chosen to have a child no matter what and to die for that child and to raise the child to be a selfless angel and extreme help to the rest of humanity even if the only outcome for doing that could be death? Possibly. But I didn't. I chose an easier path, but it really was for the greater good as well as for my own good. I don't know what the ultimate sacrifice is. But I try to do what is the right thing to do, and I feel satisfied in my heart that I did at least do that. There are some lucky people who can have beautiful families and they should do it. But that wasn't in the cards for me. I don't really know what kind of mother I would be. But I really don't think it would be the best thing in the world for me to do, and I am going to devote my life to other endeavors that involve using my intellectual skills and abilities to make the world a better place.
My goodness, what an intelligent, insightful, compassionate person you must be to evaluate your background in such a way. It sounds that you have so much to offer in whatever your choices in life are or will be in the future. Best to you
Such an insightful post if only others could have the same non biased analysis of themselves and lives.
I urge you to look into autism. Just a little research. Go from there.
I’m a mom but I don’t want to lose my life just because I have kids . And I have lost it all after my kids were born . I’m living for them but I’m dying for myself
You're dying coz that's how life works. Sounds to me like you should have remained childless.
@@staceydoris2233 what a heartless thing to say. She should find some balance, do things for herself. Or it has to do with culture. Dont judge when u dont know the situation. U didn't learn much from Peterson? Shame on you, really shame on you.
@@lily6246
People die every day. Nothing special there, she just sounds like she wants to be a martyr in the process.
I feel like this situation, like many others in life, is one where we have to work in to figure out how to balance it. We have responsibilities to ourselves, and our families. It’s a daily awareness that these will almost always be competing and trying to do both.
Yoko ENJOY THE JOURNEY. BALANCE. LOVE. STRETCH yourself in many directions. Youve been given much and they will give back more. Get some helpful support and make part of everyday a practice in thankfulness. Have a great time with your kids. Don't let them, or others rule you. Look to the old ways, sometimes.