Ultimate Sexual Fantasies | Jimmy Carr: In Concert
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- čas přidán 14. 11. 2019
- Has anyone got an ultimate sexual fantasy they wouldn't mind admitting to? Let us know in the comments. Mine's your mum.
Taken From Jimmy Carr’s In Concert
To watch the full special - • Jimmy Carr: In Concert...
Live from London's Bloomsbury Theatre (in 2008, when it was filmed): Jimmy Carr: In Concert features over 90 minutes of material that's too rude for TV.
The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
For the latest tour dates and tickets: www.jimmycarr.com/live/
#JimmyCarr #Comedy #StandUp - Komedie
Jimmy sees the line,
He approaches it,
He steps over it,
And he runs a mile.
😂😂😂👍👍
*Only 18* 👇👇👇
384832.loveisreal.ru
Lol
“Is that your girlfriend... I’m not gonna swap with that” 🔥🔥
Quality! The way he can think of a hilarious quip on the spot and fire it straight back is brilliant 👏
He is super fast
What an amazing smile. :)
Oh...yeah...and I agree.
neosapiens Jimmy's? Aye he's one mint dude. Needs to ditch his missus tho 😜
Any comedian is better than your average heckler joe. Think about it, you are paying to see him, he is getting paid to look at you.
Satori sama Yeah, and you're missing the point like a blunt pencil. How many times do you think of a brilliant comeback 5 minutes later? Under pressure, he can do it on the spot.
"I'm not going to swap if that's okay." O.O
I thought the hand gesture was extraneous. Would most people have not gotten it otherwise? Should be obvious he'd be using his hands after that because she ain't putting out...
@@mikeymcmikeface5599 Yeah, seems he could have done without that.
A missed one: "It will be a minotaur... and there's the Viking helmet for you!"
Minotaurs are from Greek Mythology though....
@@1Chasg it's a joke about horns 😂
“have her washed and brought to my room”
Aegon the unworthy?
you NEVER wash a menstruating lady - just whip out the tampon & dive right in there - shaven or not...mmmmm
halht 58 never mind. Don’t wash her.
“I’m joking... don’t wash her.”
I joking don’t wash her
Hasn't anyone ever questioned why we started dressing schoolgirls up like Scottish men in the first place?
Wonderful, just wonderful 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
nailed it!
It's because of the US porn industry.
@@Shaun.Stephens School uniforms were a thing before the porn industry. Porn parodies school uniforms, schools don't make their uniforms based off porn.
Tradition
Jimmy was brutal with the roasts in this one 😂
Jimmy is such a great ad-libber. He's just brilliant.
Two women at the same time means two disappointed women I have to cuddle with afterwards.
No thanks.
2 women at the same time sounds great. Someone for my girlfriend to talk to when I'm done.
you can always pay them to leave. You're welcome.
Trent Rubenacker You stole that from Jimmy
Pmsl 😂
You know if you pay the hookers they leave, right?
Paul McCartney will always be a leg up on his ex wife.
And in divorce court, still holding her prosthetic, "You don't have a leg to stand on!"
his jokes are like drawing pictures in my head...
No matter how many times I watch your material I can't stop laughin!!!
Brilliant comebacks, High quality dark, offensive Humor and to the point!!!
Bless you heart Jimmy Carr.
Be always Well!!!
I just recently stumbled across Jimmy Carr on Netflix. I’m an American and had never heard of him before. What a surprise! I really like this guy. I like his topics; I like his delivery. He makes me laugh. I put him right up there with Dave Chapelle and they are totally different stand ups.
I love his style so much, it almost reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield. He just hits with these fast punchlines back to back and it's awesome.
*Sheer brilliance!!! To be hilarious with random material thrown up by the audience takes a real talent that most comedians would probably struggle with. Well done Jimmy!!!*
Seriously..? Too much credit. Maybe you're too slow to make these kind of comebacks but even the average comedian has got to be ready for them .
@@zdave6083 Well maybe but I doubt it. 27 people agree with me so far. 😎
Assuming the 'random' comments weren't staged
@@stevenporter863 Of course. I doubt it though. I think he's just heard virtually everything and is prepared.
@@warren52nz I doubt he prepared for every imaginable 'random' response. At his level most likely placed people to ask specific questions and others to laugh inviting the crowd to do so too - like a professional hype man at a concert.
Necrophilia has sadly become a lost discipline it seems. I blame the school system, and the pc media.
You're flogging a dead...erm, nevermind.
Always guaranteed sex with a corpse. Dead girls don’t say no.
that's one body of opinion
I used to be a necrophiliac until my girlfriend split.
@@StefanTravis for a while it'll be pumping with blood thats techniacally alive
The guy who said “school girl” is a PE teacher at my old secondary school😳
I’m guessing he never complained about skirt length
Any proof
Cause its hard to believe by only reading
uday singh It is the Internet after all
Oh that's ironical
"You don't ask you don't get. "
Squeaky wheel gets the oil.
I totally expected Jimmy to bridge the viking helmet and Minotaur but that would've been easy. Instead, he continued razing the audience and (since that's why I watch him) it was far more satisfying. Nice work.
Sneaking in first, seriously thou praise to you Jimmy for uploading all these hd clips
You are brilliant, hope I’ll catch your show next time I’m in London.
You don't go to a Jimmy Carr gig to not mention Jimmy's girlfriend
I don't think that there is a better comedian than Jimmy he is really brilliant
Frankie boyle/lee evans
If I ever decide to embark on a career in stand-up comedy, I want Jimmy Carr to be my Yoda
You might need to get Frankie Boyle as well
This made my day :D
I love these comic espressos. Thanks for going to the trouble of compiling these vignettes. They're brill!
@@ambitionsskyyyy ?
Well... maybe we can double team her! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mine's Jimmy Carr.
The south will rise again, eh?
That profile pic tho, are you a comedian
tbf don't think theres anything wrong with roleplay like teacher and student, adds fun, plus its not like you get those feelings outside the bedroom, I think its fine tbh :)
You're address?
This man is so crisp....on point.....
He is so sharp and on point
Extremely funny.
This was a good one.
He was brutal here. At his best.
The epitome of the statement 'yeah I went there'
I am an idiot for not checking you out before, I like you 😂
This guy is funny AF!
Stood up in a hammock!
6:03 I'm crying.
Damn. This dude banged the Lannister’s.
My favourite fantasy (which remains unfulfilled) is to be hitchhiking and get picked up by two nymphos driving a beer truck.
Hmmm, sounds good
You are a visionary. Bravo.🍻
Only in Jimmy Carr videos do I and the audience have the same reaction, simultaneously!
I'm the same way with Amy Schumer.
That's not complimentary.
Jimmy always reminds me of quaqmire from family guy 🤣
My fantasy involves a jar of mayonnaise and a chainsaw.
At least one part of this sounds very dangerous for someone's dilly dally.
@@definesigint2823 it's only risky for the circus bear
I’m intrigued
?
Exactly!! Perhaps they will check the register to make sure he turned up
2:45 im fucking dead
The West Country must be the UK version of Alabama
No that would be NYC
An American Grammar App, that's a joke in itself. :-)
Jimmy’s quick
🤣🤣🤣 GS Jimmy Carr
All of you've watched Jimmy's stuff for free for years. He put this up for as well. Least you could do is watch the ads.
He earns enough from his gigs. CZcams ad money is not comparable.
plenty of us paid to watch him in concert so whats your point?
He pays his taxes I watch the ads...
Don't tell me where to put my money unless you are calling from Microsoft
You're right. Same 2x at the beginning and end plus a different ad in the middle. Brill.
He truly is a master!
Jimmy Carr looks like quagmire from family guy lol
He needs to steal jay leno's chin first.
Elite?.no.Jimmy is a certified legend
Is that first guy that says "Jessica Alba" a plant, or does he come to all the shows you film?
4:32
Joe rogan said American comedians are way ahead of everyone else lol jimmy is elite compared to joe rogan
Both countries are great
Sempre Flamengo name a good American comedian ?
Sempre Flamengo Stewart lee is garbage
@Sempre Flamengo Most American comedians barely deserve to be called comedians (there are some notable exceptions).
@@bennevis6843 George Carlin, Bill Burr, Bill Hicks, Dave Chappelle, Steven Wright, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Mitch Hedberg etc. to name a few.
British comedians are best at sitcoms and comedy shows, but in stand up they're challenging to get into. American comedians show their style very quickly and you will know after joke or two that are you going to like them or not.
The last one is brilliant
I dont get that one. Could you explain?
@@xilo3012 Basically a "Sweet Home Alabama" joke, except, local.
@@SuhiroSenpai my English is not good. Idioms, phrasal verbs and all that complicates me. But i understand half of the jokes and that's a lot. Txs.
@@xilo3012 You're welcome. Must admit getting used to the culture of a language can be hard sometimes, but it's so much fun when you understand it fullly (or at least a great major portion of it) ^^
@@SuhiroSenpai yes. Jimmy sure use things of england words and expressions and slang at shows. I saw him at a roast in USA with script and understood him better.
Well said and be will Willy
Fucking funny🤣🤣🤣man like jimmy😅
I recognize the guy in the fist joke from somewhere lol idk where
I'm not a fan of most comedians on Comedy Central but this one is actually funny tbh
All the jokes in the beginning were just set up for that last one. Wow.
6:03
Everyone in the room wanted a private session where he replied with the joke.
😂😂.
Viking hats 😅
you Scandinavians prolly use those
Second best stand up comedian ever
Who's the first?
ISMO
🤣😭🤣🤣🤣
PLEASEE that man who said he likes school girls IS A TEACHER AT MY SCHOOL IM SCREAMING
#jimmycarr #pretentiousaunts #pubicbehaviour
Jimmy Carr is an outstanding comedian, not in the least for his social function in legitimating the fine line between publicly acceptable vs. pubicly unacceptable behaviors. His outstanding value, though, does not rest with the demarcation of specific thematic territories and the assumption of specific moral stances towards them, but with cloaking the ludicrously uncivil and pretentiously civilizing ethos of agenda 21/freemasonry, by establishing a disorienting system of relevances. To make this claim more concrete, simply consider these typical cases in contrastive mode: (1) Agenda 21 'local community' perverts working under the auspices of the police disrupting your harmony with a view to reappropriating your assets by entering illicitly your property while away, poisoning foods, reordering your things for psych warfare purposes, stealing money, carving deltoid shapes on floors, clothes, furniture and the well-known beat goes on indefinitely vs. not swearing in public (2) Freakmasons promoting politics of fear as fundamental social ontological condition for being-with vs. joking against the catholic church. What a laugh! Hopefully Jimmy's legitimate space of 'transgression' will extend to a truly all-inclusive space to incorporate the lamentable atrocities perpetrated by catch 22 bozos.
czcams.com/video/pQ_OA3rEdp0/video.html
lol read desc
It’s funny because Jimmy’s girlfriend is nowhere near as cute as the girl in the audience. Not even close.
True, didn't know who she was though, had to google it.
Wash your eyes mate
Neither is really anything special.
Girlfriend is for alibi
Ha ha ha haaa
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
No guy said 2 girls at once?
Don't go to a Jimmy Carr show if you don't want to be roasted
If you kick a small kid in a head. Is it low kick or high kick?
Imagine the time and effort it would have took him to research out fantasies and make jokes he can apply on everyone.
Example is that he left the lady who said Viking helmet alone because no one could have prepared for that. So yeah he does come up with stuff on the spot but not all of it is impromptu as some people here have commented.
Ha ha haa
5.08-5.14
Poor man's girlfriend 😂
Why do people get likes for repeating something he said......!!!!!!!
It's not like they came up with it ....
They're liking the comment to show that they agree with the fact that it was one of the stand out lines, not to say that they like the commenter or anything!
I must be the luckiest guy around. I've been thinking about it and I can't think of anything that I would like to do that I haven't already done.
Jimmy Carr on Joe Rogan with Joey Diaz.
Dr. John Paladin Show best idea
Oh I thought that’s what ur sexual fantasy was 😂😂
It was fucking brilliant, more like brilliant fucking
Jimmy Carr should host the Golden Globes next year haha
Dragons.
No arms and legs!! Current
I am a 24 year old Virgin.
So am I, what's your point bro
No need to brag
26 here lol
I mean four female ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over!
I 16 and not a virgin wtf is wrong with you guys?
This is the most brilliant comedian ever
The last 40 seconds... SWEET HOMEEE ALABAMA
5:58 kinda disappointed he didnt make a "while the other two were in here driving this carr" joke
Wait a second, if you strike someone with a prosthetic limb, is that assault with a weapon?
Yes ! And it would'nt be too long before you felt the long arm of the law !
If you don't ask you don't get😎
Aw, he missed a shot there, could mixed the minotaur joke in with the girl who was into viking helmets.....
The Minotaur was Greek mythology and the Vikings were Norse.
what does he say at 1:02?
"I'm not going to swap if that's ok"
Cows are fucking enormous
1:00 - He's not gonna swap with that? Interesting, cuz sh'e considerably better looking that his real girlfriend, Caroline.