How to Seduce Someone on a Date
Vložit
- čas přidán 7. 05. 2017
- The clue to good seduction is signalling a realistic yet loving assessment of the other; and a modest, intelligent relationship with one’s own flaws.
Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/CGZpW
Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/Pq3V2
FURTHER READING
“On a first date with someone we like, we really want - of course - for the evening to go well.
There are many, varied bits of advice in circulation: don’t do all the talking; be funny and light; ask them about themselves; don’t pry; select a small, perhaps Italian restaurant; leave a generous tip; wear nice shoes…”
You can read more on this and other subjects here: goo.gl/xhB2YK
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist:
bit.ly/TSOLrelationships
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
X: / theschooloflife
Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Natalia Biegaj
www.nb-animation.com/
vimeo.com/nataliabiegaj #TheSchoolOfLife
![Eminem - Houdini [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tVWwmTie8/mqdefault.jpg)
"I'm sometimes insane, but sane enough to realize it."
Good line to use, dont you agree ?
BUTTER TOAST ED!!!!!
"I just prefer lengthy vacations directly outside of my mind. Like for now? I'm only visiting to clean up a little." :o)
I am not sure if I would be happy, if my significant other would tell me something like:
"I am insane. I eat orphans every monday, but at least I am sane enough to realize it."
Is that like being drunk but sober enough to realize how awkward one is?
"We crave not admiration, but to be properly known". +1 for this. Indeed, to be appreciated inaccurately is its own kind of insult.
n3iTh4N That line came from another video!
Awesome. Which one?
all those fans of whatever artist gotta listen up
n3iTh4N So true! I've been in psychotherapy for 5 years and i've learned a lot. My friends dont understand me, because they've never been exposed to intellectual and deep ideas. They still think of me as the innocent guy from high school... they dont take me seriously.
"To be appreciated inaccurately". Wow! That's a feeling that I could never really put in words. Thanks.
"Weakness handled strongly" That is honestly so inspirational
Lol when she gave herself a black eye and then put ice on it...
Reminds "Fight Club" :)
My girlfriend does that all the time when I'm pissed at her!
hahahaha
I was like did bitch just punch herself
@@przemysawkot1138 remonds what?
In a world of hook ups and disconnection, dating and being vulnerable is hard.
Thank you "The School of Life" for helping us start our weeks off right.
Ross Perez oh dont be ridiculous. always think 2 before saying these days or nowerdays...
Well, he is right. Nowadays people became pretty non-binding, everything can be over from today to tomorrow, everything is short-term, actual closeness is hard to archieve.
You would be kidding yourself if you were to ignore all the data that suggests that people are getting married less, having sex at a younger age and having less children. People have become less dependant on relationships and more sexually liberated. It's a fact.
this makes sense, we are guarded because we are often not sure of what the other's feelings or intentions are at the beginning. we let go of the layers once we have more of a grasp
Isn't making people much happier in their older lives, though.
"Talk about something light"
Lol on a first date I once chatted to the lady about waterboarding for like 30 minutes. We ended up in a relationship.
wow good for u mate.
ujustgotpwned2008 Dude, that only really works if she has equal interest for that topic. How did it happen?
😭😭😭
nek minnit kinky torture sex
So do you guys waterboard each other or no?
When it comes to dates I live by the fight-club motto of “losing all hope was freedom”. No expectations whatsoever, no overthinking. Interestingly, it has always worked so far
you broke the first rule sir
@@pranav288and someone missed the point of fight club. The rules are meant to be broken. That’s the point
This seems like good advice for making good friends too, being open and showing your vulnerabilities while also knowing how to handle them, being kind to others yet acknowledging their faults and accepting them. It's very insightful especially for someone (like me) who feel like you have to come across as this brilliant human for anyone to like you. It's nice to know that it is enough to not be a perfect adult but at the same time aware of what's expected of you. It also seems like a reasonable thing to ask of from other people in your life, other than just arbitrary rules about politeness.
Sounds like friend zone
Not the worst coutcome of a date
its officially impossible to watch a video without reading the comments!!
Sherlock Holmes so true!!!!
Of course you Sherlock would notice this! Very nice!
Most of the time I see that the comments are more insightful than the video itself, or at least they make for a fun read...
Yea no kidding Sherlock
It’s the graphics. They are too distracting from the actual message being conveyed.
how to get a date first, how about that?
Jay Frank Handsome, tall, rich, surgeon, sports car, beautiful house, and vampire or werewolf.
ultimaetsolder prob. right bud, requirements can be extreme....getting a date is one thing, keeping your dates attention is another. I guess that's where the "How Not to Be Boring" vid comes in.
I like how surgeon is clumped with vampire and werewolf.
KnotApps Requirements are very high.
Realize that 50% of the world is the opposite gender, so stop being a wuss about it. If the first one don't work out, move on to another one. There's plenty of em.
"What should I do?"
"Well, you should act all shaky and nervous. And sweat a lot and fumble your words."
"Will that work?"
"No, but you're going to do that anyway, so might as well make it part of the plan."
In order for someone to like you on the first date you just have to build a connection to them not just physically but also mentally. Good conversation is a must have for the first date because it helps you become a more attractive person. Being able to express your self without bringing baggage from the past is plus point to attract a partner.
That's why you MSUT love yourself FIRST!!! ;P !!!
So now I know how those ships in glass bottles are made 😂
dafuq?o.O
U.N. Owen watch the video and you'll see.
U.N. Owen is dat name reference to And Then There were NONE...?
+Ujjwal Jha no.It means that im nobody.All of creation cares not if i live or die.That my existence matters not.To no one.
There are two kinds of people...
Step one: find someone who want to date you in the first place
Lets not pretend the moon now!
No no, find someone you wanna date first
How to do that is an entirely different thing.
That means you have to get to know someone. Most people want sex on the 3rd date and a relationship on the 4th, without even knowing who they’re starting a relationship with. Most people don’t want to take actual time to actually get to know someone before jumping into bed/relationships.
felt
00:55
I like how the dude imagined his future self ageing slower than his partner.
It was accurate. Men age like wine and women age like milk.
@@jimdandy8996 kinda true, but the hair part was very false, he would have been bald, and her hair wouldn't be so damn grey
@@jimdandy8996 wow, i havent heard that before. makes sense, dont women like older men but not vice versa?
It's so refreshing to see seduction talked about in real, human terms.
These days, showing that you're capable of understanding peoples strength and weaknesses, especially your own, is a rarer treat. People don't take the time to know each other deeply.
Moreover, people don't take the time to know themselves deeply.
JoKing Too busy on their smart phones on dates.
95% of people these days have a very short attention spam. Technology and smart phones are to blame. Keeping your brain busy and worried all day will get you short attention spam. Text, What's app, social media, emails, internet you name it. Active grown 50 year old adults are like that too. You will notice if you keep patience and analyze people.
I think that’s what makes us push people away when we’re young and/or immature, or at least that was my case. I was afraid of someone knowing me and I knowing them so deep that we’d come to love one another without judgement. I can look back now and laugh at how foolish I was
Jo King superficial times these days
Maybe charm is a better word than seduce
agreed.
I expected a quite different video 😂
no seduce is a good word. It has multiple definitions.
@@iLoveTurtlesHaha and that's the issue here. Charm is the right definition in this context.
The word is "woo".
"We don't crave admiration but to be properly known, yet liked and forgiven"
Or as Morrissey once said: "Accept me for who I am - completely unacceptable!"
@@RisforRockit That's self-hatred right there
This seduction sounds like exhibiting self awareness. Know your good and your bad, then share it with your date. Reply to their self awareness with your own caring words.
I’d love someone who talked to me like that!
Same. I’ve had many relationships but none have ever spoken to me the way I want to be spoken to.
This is got to be the best explanation of “just be yourself” I’ve ever heard
I listened to this 6 times the night before a first date and it went so well I was genuinely surprised. Thanks for your videos!
please watch dany Daniels i can bet she is better
The way this guy narrates the video is so mellifluous.
'I'm excellent at swimming in Paris, and I like to go to museums in moonlit lakes.' Got it.
One shouldn't be too worried about making a good impression. Get deep with the other person by asking questions, and portray your own answers to these questions. Making a good impression should come naturally if you relax and take the date in stride, getting to know the other person. If you're thinking about them and how they're feeling, the way you're acting will appropriately be reflected and attractive if the other person is right for you. Whether you'd even be compatible with this person is what you should have in the back of your mind, as depending on your personality, it could be quite difficult to find a compatible soulmate.
Some of us are mildly or not so mildly autistic tho so it's good to get advice about what to pay attention to and making sure the other feels good and understood, as opposed to just being oblivious to their emotions
@@sebo641 That’s fair! I don’t remember this video, but I re read what I wrote and I stand by it in a general sense. I’m sure it’s tough to be autistic when dating. I think you need someone to be blunt and understand that you need someone to be blunt with you sometimes, when it might be unusual to be blunt for most people. Like if you end up going into too much of a conversation rabbit hole, you could have your date stop you and put in their two cents.
You need that communication there somehow. I’m sure it would be helpful to get advice for dating as an autistic person as well, and it really depends on the personality of the person you’re dating. Whoever you end up dating long term will have to accept you for who you are, though, with all your quirks, including your autistic tendencies. You should be explicit at the start of the date that they can tell you if they’re feeling unheard or uncomfortable, and you don’t intend to be like that. Perhaps you can say you are autistic. If they’re too weirded out by that, they are not your person and both of you didn’t waste your time.
@@rachelle2227 I think blunt is the wrong term, honesty and truthfulness but with kindness and not in a off-putting or rude way. People who are blunt can come off as rude and most people with autism or who are autistic, have very poor social analysis skills and lack empathy, where they are blunt in a bad or hurtful or offensive way. So better they learn “empathy”.. hell, even people who aren’t autistic at all in this modern dogshit society need to learn empathy and compassion again. A lot of people in western culture and in this society really lack basic human decency and empathy and the skill to put themselves in each other’s shoes.
This makes me feel so much better! I got nervous on my last date and I mentioned it to him later, kind of the lady in the video did. He didn't respond kindly, and we didn't have another date, but anyway... now I don't feel so stupid for being vulnerable. I was just being honest I guess, and seeing if he could accept that.
😊
😊
😊
😊
😊
beautiful people be like, "beauty doesnt matter." Rich people, "money aint a thing"
Me: Everything matters!
Shelina Cesario
Yess! This times a million!
Jason Derulo: Talk dirty to me
Me: mmmmmmm Self-knowledge and generosity
I never try to seduce in a date. I am just polite, be courteous and show the good side of me.
This doesn't work always and some may even call me boring for that but this is how i am and i do get appreciated for being gentle and tender.
You're my long lost twin. Not physically, but I feel it on a spiritual level.
good for you! keep being you, and if anyone says different remember.....they just be jelly. or killjoys...same boat.
Hey tell us how does the friendzone tastes ..when you ask for it so often?
Why not show both sides? They will come out sooner or later, better sooner then.
I think it’s better to just be who you are and if your the type of courteous person who’d rather be polite than the person who will acknowledge that will eventually come, if not you’ll find them at some point, and if your lucky enough, maybe that person will also be able to accept your deeper side as well, but in doing so, you will have to go through a lot of trials and errors before you find that person
This video really made me reflect on my past relationships (both romantic and platonic). The people who adored me outright, though fun for a moment, grew quite unattractive in my eyes. The ones who saw me for who I am, and found a balance between appreciating my good traits and recognizing my faults -- those were the ones who I grew closest to.
I can testify that this works. I did online dating for a few years, and was frequently told that it was the "nicest, most comfortable date" they had ever been on. Being vulnerable in small ways let's others open up as well, and has led to some really awesome, genuine dates.
Online dating -- you don't have to worry about a goodnight kiss.
It always feels so good and calm to be around a person who are in peace with self and who they are.
Am I over you?
Because right now, it feels like you're under me.
oooooooooooooooooooo noice.
I'm so thankful for the availability of these videos. They're so emotionally instructive even if the content is not directly related to one's life.
The animation and art in this one is one of my favorites. It flows and has a nice style. Great choice for this topic!
Just here to enjoy the editing :)
Maybe can you keep the volume consistent?
I just jolted up from my seat due to the relatively loud outro.
knerf999 +
Advertising techniques. Hundred percent according to intent
No, you are too late.
I obviously warned you here.
knerf999
?
The OCD is strong in this one😂
This is some really down-to-earth advice that demonstrates a clear understanding of relationship psychology, as opposed to the other more superficial guides of courtship which tend to cater more for a quick one night stand. Relaxing animation too.
They hit the nail on the head every time! This is such a wholesome and realistic interpretation of seduction - thank you SoL!
The animation was especially good this time around. I was really emotive, with nice subtle motion on top of creating allot of large motion. Additionally the shifting perspectives were great as well. Good one. Get this person back to do more videos, please!
The 50 shades darker ad before this video is just.. 🙌🏾😫
That trilogy hella sucked tho
Recognizing our own failings/weaknesses is a skill few possess and even fewer pursue. Seeing people for who they probably are and being generous/empathetic with them regardless is even rarer still. I do these things, but I have historically chosen people who don't have the capacity to reciprocate. I'm doing better more recently though. Great discussion!
i always love watching your videos, further than the informative advice, there's no advertise in the middle, so sastified to watch from the start to the end smoothly. Thanks for hard work, you guys
I absolutely love you guys. Everyone on Earth should see your videos. You all are the reason why i started loving psychology
Self-knowledge and generosity...what an excellent video! :)
God bless this channel and Life Noggin
MAC Lippy Thank you
MAC Lippy true
and Kurzgesagt. and TED Ed
and Vsauce and Based Zeus
This video was clickbait.
You guys bring all the subtle wisdom of ages past into the public presence. Beautiful stuff as always. Thank you.
This is my favorite video on CZcams.
Thanks School of Life! Your channel is amazing!
In short, kindness is sexy.
wanaaaaaaaaable That's not even close to what they said
i don't think i owe anyone explanation...but as you age you'll learn there's a huge difference between being a nice person and a genuinely kind person.
if you're dating someone who despise your kindness then i think both of you got issues. give yourself a favor by finding another date. there's plenty of fish in the sea. life is too short for whining.
@rimiserk women despise weakness, not kindness. Many men conceal weakness with what at first appears as kindness. But women see through it quicker than you think.
@rimiserk Irrelevant, but true.
@rimiserk You are partially correct. Men must be better than a woman in some aspect for them to be attractive. However, money status and looks arent the only ones. Sometimes, for example, a rich dumb girl can get in love with a broke ugly dude because hes "smooth" (for example, my mother and dad haha). "Smoothness" in a way, represents his higher intelligence or maturity.
PLEASE SCHOOL OF LIFE...TEACH ME HOW TO FLIRT huhuhuhu
Charlene Gando they have done it...
Going commando increases your chances
Just be your honest self and let the other person notice you
+Fayez Bayzid "Notice me senpai! Notice me!"
Charlene Gando Are you from Philippines? Coz your expressions was huhuhu
this channel is honest in every possible way
This CZcams channel needs to be the most subscribed to. All videos are incredibly valuable and enlightening
The part about not being admired for being accomplished? That hit home. I’ve been in a mode where I would close myself off or run away from someone who cared about me because I feel like I didn’t accomplish what I wanted yet. And in turn, I wouldn’t be worth it unless I accomplished said goals and then some.
Beautiful advice and animation!
What i love about these videos is not that it teaches you about dating... but shows us many errs in human thought and how we ought to view the relations we have.
Your use of language and ability to articulate makes your videos very enjoyable to watch. Thank you
I clicked so fast
I'm still clicking
what is this weird fetish
dating sucks and we all know this. so go buy a dog. you still have to put up with shit but the dog will stay if the food is good
Aaron Madrid lmao
"dating sucks" lol.
If you make it past a few dates, and you get to know the person, dated can be a lot of fun. It's just getting together with someone you like.
+Quinson you'll understand one day
That's life, my dude. Stare into the dark and all you will see is darkness.
Quinson or be a sith lord😁 unlimited power plus the love of the dark side.
Wow I love this channel! You guys always make the right videos at the right time that help me realize and understand important things.
The animations have been so good recently so creative thank you
What about watching this during the date?
so basically saying be real and be yourself.
Kaumudi H what does generosity and perceptiveness mean in this sense? I'm having difficulty understanding that
ArmoWings I think it's about being generous with your patience and empathy, and perceptive of your own internal world, and that of your partner.
"Just be yourself" But that's when It goes downhill 😢
Dont be yourself, know yourself so you can be better than that but dont try to cover up your flaws.
Its the actual "be real". Show weakness but also show that you can overcome it.
and be empathetic
This is a beautiful video, guys look no further beyond this one. This is all you need from dating tips, and close friendships aswell.
I have borderline personality disorder and these videos are giving me a lot to think about. They are reshaping how I view relationships and dating.
Warm video, bro.
Ok so on this video there is mention of 2 techniques. The first is to show the not very attractive side of us but also show that we handle it in a mature way. The second is to show that we not only see the very attractive sides of our partners but also the unattractive. And to view them with acceptance. The core idea of this video is that viewing ourselves or showing ourselves to others the very fabulous can feel intimidating or untrue. So to also view the short comings and accepting them shows understanding and maturity
This is incredibly insightful and beautifully made.
Alain, you are my favorite teacher. Thanks for these.
A truly inciteful episode, thank you.
What I would like to know and possibly see in a future episode is, if you mess up on the first date - be it that you "over do it" and appear pathetic or under due and appear cold - can you steer the relationship back on course and what measures would have to be implemented?
Any comments are welcome!
Dick pics is the last attempt
Yes, just be more aware
Thanks I needed this right now
How did you make this channel? Truly, it is miraculously insightful, well-animated, and well, swell.
I have never needed a more specific youtube video
3:54 "One might, towards the end of the evening, drop in a small warm tease that alludes to our understanding of some less than perfect side of them." A neg?!
How the fuck do we get a date in the first place?
Ask someone
sammz the answer is obvious. You are overthinking
that's a necessary but not sufficient condition
I love the manner information is server, broken down and explained. Good lessons, thank you.
One of the your best videos yet
“Weakness handled strongly."
So this is the secret to seduce your date😸
you bet..............dm for collab
*Instructions unclear:* Ended up flirting in front of a mirror for hours and couldn't figure out why we were both saying the same things. Went to bed soon after, rejected and heartbroken.
This is my favorite ☆ SoL Video. Not only is animation well done but the scripting, the message is excellent. I watch this whenever I go out to a new event as reminder.,Well Done
Alain (and team) you are gold .... absolute gold
This is not how any of this works! *You're supposed to teach me how to remain single forever!*
Well if you cant get that right...
is this the laguage of gods
This is so true. Seriously, if getting to the second date confuses you, watch this several hundred times.
Incredible! Thank you for this amazing video!!
SO much Love
This is the only video I've seen on this channel with useful information
Could you do something on stoicism?
Swish Swosh he has already
Swish Swosh their every video is superficially tell about stoicism, that somehow being stoic is the best way of living
Swish Swosh I'm pretty sure the school of life would disagree with the idea of stoicism
They already did, look in the "Philosophy" playlist
Thanks famalams, sorry, I should've searched it before asking
I have no interest for manipulating someone into falling in love with me. I am who I am in every circumstances.
I share the ideal, but in practice that's not how we should see dating. Like in an interview, you're there for a reason: to understand if the relationship with that person is going to be good for both persons, if it will fit your visions of a good life. So you have to "make your case", show your interest in that person, talk about what you are most good at, and make pledges, so to speak, for a good relationship. You have to sell yourself a little -- why you and not someone else? That's not manipulative, it's just part of a negotiation we would need to do anyway, because there will almost always be other people out there, and we are forced to choose one person. Make sure to make this negotiation fair, representative and smooth for everyone involved.
I wouldn't ever be able to put those thoughts into words, thank you so much School of Life! :3
These videos amaze me everytime more and more! Have to love them :)
I’m 34 and I’ve never been on a date before. The older I get the more anxious I am about it...
Stop overthinking life, enjoy the experince; good or bad. Theres a girl out there waiting to laugh at your dumb joke.
Relatable
Same here
@@piratesmileprod6533 stop lieing
Start with birthday parties.
Fart - this will break the ice.
It will melt it.
Winter is coming,fart won't save the realm!
It will break the ice and evaporate the water beneath too
the art is so cute and sweet in this video, I love it!
Favorite channel I swear
1:20 I thought he was going to land on his nuts XD
Could someone please elaborate on how we could perceive the other persons flaws? Particularly if we haven't known them for a long time.
Awesome. Even the animation is flawless.
You are amazing, School of Life!
I can't even get a date!!
Jacob Parra
"Maybe it's because you're ugly."
-Patrick Star
tell me this....did you ever ask?
if you have....look harder....there's someone out there...somewhere.
Jacob Parra
Yes you can. The world would end if nobody could.
Jacob your not alone.
"A date, in essence, is an audition"
More like a job interview-- *for all the work you may have the chance of doing in dealing with another person*
Inviting a person to hang out is way more effective. Pretty much, you're introducing that person to your world.
It took me years to figure out the reason behind absolute adoration. Really appreciate this video!
Animation bang on! Great video!