How I knew my blind husband was “the one”
Vložit
- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
- Matthew and Paul talk about the first year of their relationship, and how they knew each other was “the one” they wanted to marry.
Watch the extended video where Matthew and Paul talk about how they decided which one of them would propose: / 20-how-i-knew-my-88674508
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @matthewandpaulofficial
My husband-D-and I became friends in our second year of university. In our third year, I changed university and we wrote letters to each other. The summer between junior and senior year, he went to Mexico with his university and I broke up with my abusive boyfriend. D’s mom asked me to pick him up from the airport on his way home from Mexico. I was standing around with all the parents when I saw him walk in. He was talking with his professor. He stopped mid sentence, dropped his bags and walked over to me. He put his arms around me and said, “I was hoping you would be here.” I knew then I would marry this man. This past June we celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary.
Wow! What a romantic story!
@@MatthewandPaulOfficial Thanks! I fought for YEARS for marriage equality and seeing such wonderful stories like yours makes my heart sing.
Aww
I’m not crying 🤧🤧🤧🤧
You two are such delightful charming people! I really appreciate you sharing your love/life story! Much love across the miles 💕
My parents told me to look at someones worst qualities and ask myself, "Knowing that these will probably get worse as years go on, can I live with them?" I said yes and over fifty years later we're still reading to each other. Hearing isn't as good as it use to be.
That's a great way to look at it. So many people seem to do the opposite, hoping or expecting that they can change or fix the "problem" areas, and proceeding on that assumption, rather than acknowledging that that *is* who this person is, and especially not expecting that it might get *worse*!
Epic self question ! 😮✅️😼😲
A great quote: Find the person whose problems you can live with
It's simple, but it's true! We don't often think of it that way, but trust me - it works!
Laughter is also an important component. Widowed 5 yrs now, after 44 yrs together we always made each other laugh.💜💜💜💜
I like to say. One of the biggest challenges a person has in life, is to figure out how to turn their baggage into designer luggage.
LOVE THIS!!
I love that analogy
Love that comment❤
Both of you do give Hallmark Christmas Movie Energy in the best way possible ❤
LMAO
Omg! You explained this so well! 🤣🤣 it's so true.
Yes!!!😮😮😊
As someone who is perpetually single, you guys give me relationship goals 💕
Same… these guys are incredible. I hope to one day have a relationship as filled with fun, laughter and support when needed as you guys. I love watching your videos
SAME!!
I came here to write exactly the same. Well done, Paul and Matthew, we need more people as sensible and grounded as you. Love you both. 🥰
I love how you are probably not even on purpose spreading awareness on how a healthy, supportive relationship should look like. Many people stay in toxic relationships or let their partners treat them badly and they have little to no reference point so it's amazing to see how close you are and how caring to each other. 🥰
When I had known my partner for 2 months I started to develop stress symptoms and was then diagnosed with deep depression. We moved in together after 12 months, and have now been together for 16 years. If you can't put up with me on my worst days, you don't deserve me on my best days.
Not Paul roasting their financial status at the early beginnings. Paullll😂
LOL
❤️
As a parent of five sons, this is the chapter I'm looking forward to: seeing who they bring to my table in a decade or two. May happiness always be in your home.
I love how supportive you are with all your sons journeys in their relationships. A lot of moms are clinging for dear life to their kids even when they're adults long after they've left the nest when it's the kids times to meet new people and create new relationships.... Your comment made me smile. 😊
You two brighten my day ..May you always be as happy as you are today ....lovely boys parents must so proud of you both.
❤️❤️
Was it the fact he left all he knew behind, including the majority of his belongings, took a huge leap of faith, and moved in with you? If a man loved me that much, trusted me that much, and basically told me I am where his home is, I'd marry him too. ❤❤❤
Does Matthew have one of those fetishes for disabled people? I’m just curious, please no hate!! Love you Matthew and Paul!!!! ❤❤
Definitely., knowing they love each other.
@@theuniverseisme432 I don’t think so. He didn’t know Paul was blind until they started talking on grindr so at the very least, Matthew didn’t seek him out for his disability.
@@theuniverseisme432 girl.... this is absolutely NOT something you ask to anyone anywhere anywho. like wtf
This video is such a good relationship advice, it should from now on be mandatory for anyone to watch this before going into a relationship. Especially the part about the "book of relationship improvements", and the "being able to live with the negative traits of a person". 😊
Haha yes, that book should be required reading when you begin a new relationship!
I am so happy for you guys! Stay safe, be well. WE LOVE YOU!
thank you!!
You guys are literally the only reason I believe in true love.your relationship makes me smile so much 🙌🏽
Hi, you two love birds. Just wanna say thanks for sharing such a sweet story😊
I myself am an AroAce, meaning I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction towards anyone or anything. Things like these are something of a mystery to me, and whenever I hear stories like these, it makes me understand more about the life of couples and how... you know, things like these work. And the way you tell these stories is both funny and informating to me. It's like learning something hard with a funny teacher who knows how to make learning not just fun but rememberable
OMG. I'm watching two souls who are meant to be together in this lifetime. Truly, love knows no gender.
Loveeee you both ❤
This episode was a master class in relationships. Matthew, what your father told you was what a very wise man told me back in the day. I was in my twenties and going through a divorce from an 8 year marriage to a man I married after knowing him only 2 months. Yes, I was young and pretty stupid for a rather intelligent young lady. He said you need to season your mate. Then he explained to me exactly what that meant. And it was nearly verbatim what your Dad had said. I have passed this nugget of wisdom to all the other gals and guys who were contemplating long term commitments ever since. My second marriage lasted 37 years and we raised 5 amazing children together until, sadly, his death from ALS. Fighting fairly is also a key as your book has said. Thank you for this episode ❤❤
I’m so happy to hear about Paul being supported in his art career. Artists need monetary and emotional patronage.
P.S. I can’t wait for the art journey video.
That will be a fun video!!
Awwww watched all your videos and now listening to your podcast! You two have adapted so seamlessly to CZcams. ❤
Wow, thank you!
@@MatthewandPaulOfficialCan’t wait to see you two flourish on CZcams! 🥰🎉
I found your channel yesterday somehow thru YT shorts and I’ve binged every video so far! I’m gonna be getting the channel subscription bc I need all the extended videos now! I just love your energy and your love for each other is so inspiring! And of course Mr. Maple is just the absolute best boy!
Wow! thank you!!
You two are such a healthy example of a loving relationship...
I just love seeing these podcast stories literally fleshed out in video form. New info, new context, and seeing your faces as you tell your stories makes a huge difference. And thanks to you both for uttering the "v" word: violin. You've been silent about that part of Matthew's story for months. What happened, or what is happening? I hope you will find a way to devote some time to this when you get to Matthew's journey. It's a huge part of it, both for him, and for you both, when Paul was producing and directing. As always, I love you guys. ❤❤❤❤
An at-home picnic? Brilliant! Now I want one.
You should!! They are so much fun!
Idk why I was surprised to see there were actual long videos on this channels and not just shorts xD
Love your stories guys. Wish you the best.
Glad you like them!
I understand how Paul knew.❤. I have met one guy where I just completely knew. My feelings have never, never changed.
Speaking for all the single ladies watching your channel-how can we meet straight guys as warm and wonderful as you two.
You two are incredible! Im 100% behind self improvement. It certainly helped my son through difficult times, and to build resilience.
You remind me of my parents who have been together for over 48 years! Despite the “no money” “tiny house” and even a disability that is not bad but could add extra stress. You fell in love and took on eachothers “baggage” . It’s so exciting watching you and how beautiful your life long relationship is evolving! My parents had many of the same hardships z as md struggles. It’s all about accepting one for who they are and marriage is really about saying.. “ I want to take care of this person for life” . Good for you! Love you two!
This is just a personal story, but probably someone needs this. I was in a relationship with someone with mental health problem, while me myself isn't healthy, like at all. His bad days were triggering me, making bad impacts on me, especially my own mental health. I always felt bad for him, and at the end I kinda noticed that what I felt was more like pity than love and decided it wasn't healthy to continue a relationship based on that feeling. I felt really guilty for leaving him, but then again I need to concentrate on my own mental health first.
I'm a lot better now, still not in any relationship since I feel like I will ended up hurting the other party if I forced myself to open up and accept them, like what I did to my previous partner 😅 I'm trying my best to love and cherish myself first since loving other would be impossible if I can't love myself first. I want to have a healthy relationship after all.
Watching you guys is really comforting! I feel like I probably might be able to move forward.
i felt this, you aren’t alone 🤍
if it makes you feel a little better to hear from someone who's been in a similar situation - my first partner (back in 2016...!) had mental health issues, and when those became serious, they lead to an event which was traumatic for the both of us, but specifically caused mental illness in myself. I also had a close friend around that time, and likewise (in fact: more so), we were both in really difficult places with our mental health, and I know those years were more traumatic for me _because_ I was dealing with somebody else's problems on top of my own (to be clear: they were always lovely and understanding and respectful, and I'm glad we did stay friends then, but it was a lot). And at some point, I realised my friendship was founded on fear for their health / situation, instead of love / affection. - I ended up breaking up with that partner, because I was no longer able to sustain a romantic relationship. But!!! Years have passed now, and I'm still close friends with the person I mentioned: leaving school meant we had more distance, and our mental health problems are both managed so much better than they were, and we have such healthier boundaries. And I'm no longer scared for them. I've also finally managed to access therapy, and a year into that I still have a lot to work through, but my own mental health has gotten worlds better than it was. And I'm in a relationship now, with somebody who - on the second day of knowing me - walked in on me having a breakdown, and offered nothing but kindness and practical help. He's known about my mental health issues the whole time, and the first time he stayed with me coincided with me losing a loved one (talk about being thrown in the deep end!), and he continues to be nothing but caring and supportive.
I think it's important to be aware of your own mental state, and if you feel stable enough that a relationship would work for you right now - I did choose to not seek a relationship for years myself, in part for those reasons - but it doesn't mean that you can't be both mentally ill *and* in a relationship that works! With the right boundaries and communication, and after properly assessing if you can each genuinely meet each other's needs and all, these things can absolutely work out!
That Christmas tree was gigantic to that space. But I would totally have crawled in through a crack because I too love Christmas.
WORTH IT
Yay! Pretty sure this is gonna be a really sweet one! ❤️ ❤️ Looking forward to finding out what Paul is gesticulating here - I love watching those talking hands so much! 🤗 🤗
So excited for the proposal story! My partner and I just got our wedding rings today and listening to this story just filled my lil heart with so much love. Thank you for sharing ❤
Me, a licensed therapist watching content from my favorite internet couple.
Them: "And then, while dating, we started reading the Gottman's books together." ❤❤❤
Me: "of course they did ❤❤❤❤ now it all makes sense 😍😍😍😍
Omg Matthew’s smile is beautiful and Paul’s Laugh is just absolutely adorable 🥰
You guys have made me re evaluate my goals. Now I want to meet someone who doesn’t think I’m crazy and who actively joins in when I suggest a living room picnic on a bleak rainy day 😂😂
I'm sure you hear it a lot, but your story is an inspiration, and as a person in a long distance relationship I hope my partner and I will get the chance to move together in the future and live as happily as you two portray.
Many years of well wishes to you, Matthew and Paul!
I don’t know why I always forget that Matthew plays the violin (I play the violin, you’d think I’d remember)… so when I hear y’all talk about it I get all excited and go find the video where you recorded Paul’s favorite song. Matthew should play more on the channel, I love listening to you play!
You guys are my serotonin boost. I have depression and when im gaving a bad day i vome to your channel. Your videos always make me smile. You're just such a sweet caring and cute couple ❤
I dont even know exactly what it is about you two that just makes me feel warm and happy but what I fo know is I'm thankful you've shared your lives with us.
Much love from the UK 🇬🇧
Aww! Thank you for sharing your lives and moments with us. You all bring a smile with your videos
Our pleasure!
This series of your love story is the sweetest thing. I love you guys soooo much!
Love that you kept part of your first awkwardly huge Christmas tree 🎄😊
Living room picnics sound so fun.
Love that you did your own pre-marital couseling and took the initiative to learn better communication and how to handle conflicts and challenges, appreciating each other and being a team.
You two are so cute and wholesome! So glad you two found each other
Thank you!! 😊
You two are so good together as a couple. You not only preach it but you live it. Your love for each other and your pranks and tolerance of each others personal issues all come together like a five star meal and influence me and your other fans more than you can know. I'm always broke so I'm saving up to buy one of your Groom Penguins. They are so adorable just like you guys. Love ya!
Thank you!!
I’m so glad to hear stories like yours that “it works”. Stories that proof a person could accept another person as is. Of course it comes with self-works, adjustment, and all the efforts-but you both mutually does and it’s gorgeous.
These guys are so sweet they are like the adult version of Nick & Charlie.
I found you guys by accident and your videos just make me so happy. Ive never been in a relationship or whatever but seeing Matthew prank Paul and them being so happy makes me happy. ❤
You are both so great I really love you and your dynamic. I love Paul's enthousiasm and Matthew's way of caring for Paul. I hope that my boyfriend with severe visual problems and I with slight visual problems will have one day the same dynamic.
Thank you so much!
@@MatthewandPaulOfficial it's my pleasure.
This story is so sweet ❤ I've felt this way about someone but hopefully I find someone who feels the same way or maybe it just wasn't the right time either way you guys give me hope for my future ❤ thank you both
Your stories just make me smile. You are just so wholesome. It’s nice to see a couple discussing what makes a mature relationship work and at the same time you are so sweet I fear I will develop diabetes.
I love hearing how your love story unfolds! It’s very magical, and I hope that you both continue to see the magic in ur relationship as partners and lovers. Stay true to each other 🙏🏼
There’s nothing like a strong bond between two people that conquer their world together ❤
Both of you are highlights of my day. I feel so greatful Instagram thought of putting you guys in my feed. Sending best wishes and positive vibes 😇❤❤
Thank you so much!
Relationship goals. I really enjoy that idea of continuous self-improvement and finding someone that wants to grow as well. Also, I loved the knowledge and acceptance of someone's baggage that you can realistically deal with (bad word but i cannot think of another one sorry). Have loved watching your story!
You both are like sunshine to start my day. I love the smiles and admiration you share towards each other. You show the strongest love and it’s beautiful.
I know it’s because they definitely knew they loved and cared about each other. As far as disability, we all have some disability.
true!!
When are you guys going on tour! You're so lovely and also really entertaining!
You two have inspired me and brought me joy with your sharing of your loving relationship.
Just as well you didn’t have Mr Maple when you were picnicking on the floor; Labs have a reputation! Lovely video.
Omg Paul’s face is so adorable on the thumb nail! 🤭🤭
My dear aunt, Lodema told me that I needed to find someone that I not only loved, but also liked and respected. I found him in 1983, had our Holy Union in 1985 and legally married in 2013 in Toronto because the US didn't recognise our relationship. Not long after we moved to Arizona,after 7 years in Puerto Rico, the Attorney General stated that same sex marriage was inevitable so the legislature passed the same sex marriage bill. We woke up one morning legally married in our State. I still wear 2 wedding bands, one for our Holy Union and one for our legal marriage (it has diamonds). My sister told me she was shocked that we fight fair. We argue about one thing. One of us says "I love you" during the fight and we leave it to die when we are done and make a decision. If one of us leaves during an argument and stays away overnight, the locks will be changed so we never have done that.
This is a beautiful and inspiring story. I absolutely agree with the major idea that a relationship is a mutual growth. It's not about being perfect, but how you cope with your challenges. There is charm in that.
Paul, you are absolutely right. Every couple has disagreements. Always. The key is whether or not you can resolve the disagreements without hurting each other.
My family does this by respecting that the other has reasons for what they do/think/whatever. So we seek out the reasons, and usually we realise that hubby knows something I don't, or I know something that he doesn't. We sometimes even solve disagreements with "pending further research, you're probably right".
You need to come to an agreed way of solving disagrements to have a healthy relationship. I don't care if it's a knock down drag out argument which has the neighbours calling the police (the neighbours might care), or a calm and rational discussion full of mutual respect. Just agree on a method, and you have one of the ingredients of a great marriage.
(Mind you, I'd hate Matthew's pranks.)
I met my late husband in January 1981, in February of that year, I put all my things in storage and moved from Seattle to Kitsap County. We got married in December 1982 and were together until he passed away in 2020. Sometimes you just know.
They are very impressive people. I would trust them with serious stuff if we were friends
aww thanks
So loving these videos and getting to know you both, beyond just your actual names (rather than just Mr. Maple's parents)! And I love, love, love the Gottman's work. it's so good to follow you and your heart-warming content.
You 2 are so sweet. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. What a sweet journey! ❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much!
I get the biggest kick out of you two. You’re just delightful.
My Dad told me you never know someone until you live with them. Good advice!!!
Love that!
i was brought here from the multi choice post, and i gotta say i think mr maple proposing is a reasonable answer. i can just see him being like "will you take me to be your lawfully petted guide dog?"
LMAO
I have RP, too.😁 Last year I gave my kidney to my dear friend. Through this emotional experience, we fell in love. Ours is my favorite love story in the whole world but yours is a very close second.😍 And he’s Canadian!🇨🇦
Ok, that's just soooooo wholesome.... the way Paul looks at him. ( I know he's blind, don't come at me.) I'm js that he definitely has love in his eyes and it's So cute and wholesome to witness 🎉🎉🎉
You two are so incredibly adorable!!
You guys are so inspirational and wholesome. Thank you for sharing your story 💝
Thank you so much!
“I can live with his problems”. Great advice. It reminds me of “Frankie & Johnny” with Al Pacino and Michelle Pfieffer. “No matter what?”
Just came across you guys today and I've fallen in love with y'all. Soooooo great and cute!!
Welcome!!
My gusband and I became fruends first and quickly he was my best friend. Within a week of dating I told him he was going to marry me, he just didnt know it yet. But that statement about the persons problems you can deal with is so true. After dating for a couple months we went a weekend without seeing eachother. The things I missed the most at times were the things that annoyed me most. Its that acceptance and realization that you love all of them. Been married over 30 years now.
I have no idea how I stumbled on your videos but you two are absolutely adorable. I hope I can find a love/relationship like yours one day. ❤ You seem to have so much fun together.
Jealous I never had that special relationship, so I’m enjoying your clips.
I love Paul's laugh during this as usual
Can you do the "boyfriend tag" like michael and matt did?
You guys are such a good example of a healthy relationship and it looks like you have so much fun! 🧡
You guys are raising my hopes against marriage life partner etc💕 Thanks for sharing i would like to hear more about your growth stories because i found you guys'mindset so healthy i would like to learnmore about the process Lots of love from Turkey💕
You two are SO FREAKING ADORABLE!!!
Once my brother and his wife became serious in their relationship, she insisted that they start going to couples therapy. My brother was concerned and wondered if something was wrong, but she said that things were great and to make sure they stay that way, they should go to therapy together. They’ve been together for about six years and married for almost 1.5 years. ❤
To quote the writers of BBC's Sherlock: The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future are my privilege
Absolute sweethearts ❤
I love you guys so much! ❤❤ thanks for sharing your journey…. I’m from the Seattle area too😂 so I get the picnicking in the living room! And you really do have to take advantage of the nice days! ❤️❤️
Some things, and some relationships, are meant to be. You two inspire with your characters and with your love. Stay blessed ❤
Thank you so much 😀
Y'all are so adorable and wholesome ❤ this is the kind of relationship I want my little brother to find
Sorry I'm 5 months late to the party hahaha. I absolutely loved this vid and of course love the 2 of you! You hit the nail on the head: Find the partner with the problems that you could live with. Best advice ever! Normally I just listen to your vids, but I couldn't just listen this time. I was so moved my this vid that I had to share and leave a comment :) Thank you for making this content!!! xoxo
Thanks so much!!
What?!?! Paul?!!! You’re Canadian? Just like meeee🤌🤭❣️ we love you two❣️do what you wanna do, and be what you are🙌🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
They’re so freaking precious 🥹
It seems to me that one major communication style for you guys is humor, punctuated with "MA-THHH-EEW!!!"
I'm a new subscriber and you two are ADORABLE! I LOVE CANADIANS! I lived in Seattle from 1995-1998 and I used to go up to Vancouver and go shopping! ❤❤❤❤ Xoxo from a new Fan in Chicago! 😊😉😉😉🙃🙂☺😗😗😘 P.S. one Of my FAVORITE lines from the Musical " RENT" is. " I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine".....
Thanks for subbing!
@@MatthewandPaulOfficial You two are ADORABLE...😚☺😗😗😘
I’m glad you found each other. 🥰🖖🖖🖖💯 I don’t envy other people’s lives or marriages. I’m a straight woman, and I have a slight envy of your marriage. I really like the vibe between the two of you. I like your energy. Paul is just seem such a wonderful person. Matt is just so fun loving. Mr Maple is already legend status. May all three of you live long and prosper. 🖖🥰💯
You guys are the best couple. Many long years to you!
Just found your channel and kinda sad it was now and not a long time ago :3
This is super cute❤
So what you were saying, Matthew, is that the realisation slowly dawned on you 😉 😁
I’m Proud You Guys
4:40 Omg I had that same exact couch in my first apartment, I got it from a thrift store and it folded out into a bed. I was 18-19 living in a shoebox apartment in Tacoma, WA called "The Flamingo" 🦩. I moved from Minneapolis, lived in Tacoma for a year, didn't like the rainy winters and was happy to get back to our below zero winters in Minnesota because I LOVE snow. Yeah, I'm weird
This is so much of what I was wanting to know about yall! No wonder you guys have such a successful relationship. Just subscribed and looking forward to more! ❤
Thanks for subbing!