Here's Why BMW V8 Engines Are JUNK! Cheapest Alpina B7 Teardown
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- čas přidán 29. 03. 2020
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Highly recomend M539 Restoration. This guy is working on a B7 and is a joy to watch
Came in the comment section just to see if someone was talking about him. He has such a cool channel
@@gabriel_dumitra Ditto, recently became a huge fan of his channel.
He is the BMW Goat
No annoying sales pitches for junk like wallets either. Everyone should go there.
Just came across M539 in the last 48 hours, watching him bring an old E21 323i back to life. That's a car I owned many decades ago, so I was keen to watch his video. In no time at all I was hooked on his other content. A wonderful German sense of humour too.
Hoovie < M539 Restoration everything hoovie has complained about, m539 has restored to near brand new condition by himself and tested topspeed at the autobahn. Now that deserves your views
Your absolutely right, sreten is the best. Hoovie talks to much.
@@ericdejong2736 Guys we will be seeing full restoration like it's brand new
he's actually restoring a B7 at the moment, his last 2 videos were about a B7 restoration with a bad block.
@@ericdejong2736 Man, this Hoovie is so lame... Doesnt do shit and complain about everything. Fist time I see his vid, and the last time for sure.
why not both?
That remarkable little guy runs a clean garage and does not chit chat. He just methodically tears down imports and puts them back together while silently reciting bolt torque patterns from Haynes manuals like it is poetry.
Lol we don't use Haynes manuals. That is what the lowly DIY'er uses. We use OEM subscriptions. 😆
He should have a Dr. in front of his name. Very impressive.
@@LynxStarAuto maybe so but they all say "remove nut and withdraw shaft", that rusted thing that was a hexagon holding something that has never been removed and now probably doesn't now need any fixing to keep if immovably in place!! been there read them.
Donno how he'd feel about you demeaning him with 'little guy' lmao
Surely a professional that really knows what he is dealing with
how to remove a BMW engine:
Disassemble everything that isn't the engine
Start the work by disassembling the trunk...
And don't forget some BMW models have the battery (or batteries) in the trunk. My 840 has two huge ones and the removal order is a HUGE pain.
@@deathstrike and expensive!!
I have only owned a BMW motorcycle - but I can see the engineering issues run across the line. The big joke for the cycle is that someone took an air filter and built a motorcycle around it - so you have to tear down half the bike to do basic maintenance. It is a great bike when the clutch isn't failing, when the fuel gauge doesn't stop working if you overfill the gas tank, it it didn't "eat" a battery every month, etc. You have to love german engineering.
@@Nathan_King very much so, the time taken just to get there is still time charged for and the the time to put it all back as well!!.
This guy is so humble and nice. And most important a magician mechanic. Hope to see him more on your channel
Now that he owns a BMW, trust me, we'll be seeing a lot of him.
Could you, please, tell us, what car he (mechanic) owns, and what was the reason to buy it? Thanks from Ukraine!
@Mr. Musashito It's nice to see an unassuming person like Jonny...he is so fast and he lays the components out so we can see what is involved in the strip down.
He seems a little shy - for now.
@@zvebrstremnyj6863 he owns a Ferrari. There is a video
That garage is like a surgical ward compared to the Wizard's.
yep.
id rather have the wizard's. Less strings attached
@@Veikra What strings?
Yeah, Wizard's is a morgue! 🤣🤣🤣
What self respecting wizard would live in a surgical ward?
I hope Sreten doesn’t see this video around now, right in the middle of his engine rebuild.
lmfao
For realll
Heh, nothing new for him, I suppose. His engine has no issues with the valve guides, but with crunchy chain guides falling apart, leaving debris in the oil, which messed up the lubrication and caused cylinder wall damage. So yeah, this engine type is at least two sad stories. Not great for BMW V8 sales.
Look at the car-Ninjas garage guys: Its cleaner than a Swiss hospital. Wow.
His shop is absolutely gorgeous.
That how a serious master technician is SUPPOSED to keep his shop.
I get the feeling ng uv never been
Would you rather take your car here or to Scotty Kilmer? Obvious answer.
@@lesterparker1594. Interesting comparison. Mr. Scotty is a knowledgeable mechanic, but in the end you probably have to select "Car Ninja."
Every time I start thinking I want a cheap BMW Tyler uploads another one of these videos.
He's saved you tons of money....
BMW = Burn My Wallet
mine only went wrong at 339k good oil changed twice as often than needed was the trick. no engine is much good after 148k in a highly tuned model. wasnt stock when left alpina. mates x5 4.6 v8 only went wrong at 228k.
BMW arnt going to want their cars to last forever or they'll go bankrupt. 12-16 years is a good run for any daily driven car.
my current gm car has gone wrong at 13k burning coolent, 15k sensor and 18k themosat.
modern cars are crap all done under warranty but still crap
You could have a good nice one,.but every 10,000km you'll have to tighten what is loose and change what ever non-service parts even if its not broken ... yet.
I never had any major problems
Always small things but im a mechanic and i never go for a cheap not well maintained car
You can have problems with any brand.
you get what your paying for
Johnny is such a humble genius. This man knows his stuff...a pleasure to see him work.
There's so much oil caking that engine that the US want to invade it.
Jaja
You mean "free" the shit out if it
🤣 🤣
underrated comment
This engine needs democracy brought to it..
I have a 2008 B7 that is terrific. Car had 85k when I bought it. Replaced the front suspension and a couple of electrical items. After fixing everything, I drove it 3500 miles at 80+ mph in 100 degree heat with no issues. The real takeaway here is find a car that has been well serviced and not beat up and neglected.
You are right I have a 08 750li sport with 145,000. Miles running great normal wear and tear I love it I just hate when people give it a bad name all cars have issues H just buys them for click bate he knows the one he buys are junk 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Agree..the v12s are bullet resistant…V8 record not as strong…I’ve owned three vintage 7s over the years..great used value…..@@AlTrey1993
@@AlTrey1993 Six crying-laughing emojis.
@@AlTrey1993 b7 has a different engine
Tech time for the job: 20-30 hrs.
If Hoovie helps: 75 hrs.
He will just charge 3x as much. You know he sees dollar signs when he walks through the door
N V 3:54
I love how clean his garage is. Wizard’s is very clean too, just doesn’t have the nice flooring. :)
Moldygreenbean mmmmkay
I watch the wizard's channel but this guy makes the wizard look like tyler
THE CAR WIZARD IS A FRAUD
Moldygreenbean the lighting's kinda shady too
here after Sreten got Project Chicago and is having huge issues already
Ok. According to M539 Restorations there should be nails in this engine. Where are the nails???
hah fr where are they
This BMW has an elaborate rust protection system. Oil everywhere.
Sounds like a good joke.
Q: "why do BMW's have good rust protection?"
A: "because they are always covered in oil."
Actually their BUILT with rust protection in THE DESIGN. That's why all the parts are plastic junk.
😂😂
Lmao yeah I was just about to say Plastic doesn't rust😂😂
oh that's SUCH a backhanded compliment (throwback expression from the 2000s, lol)
Love that “car-ninja” cleans the floor, like immediately when it gets dirty. Epic mechanic
he could slip in it, or track it around so he saves time by cleaning it up
Who wouldn't?
This reminds me of the old sign we had in the garage I worked at as a young man. It read:
Shop mechanic fee $25.00 Hr.
If you watch............ $35.00 Hr.
If you help................$50.00 Hr.
I usually hate LS swapped cars.
But there might be a good reason in this case..
The sign on Johnny the "Car Ninja's" workshop wall...
-Labour rate $150.00/hour.
-If you stay and watch $250.00.
-If you help $350.00/hour.
If that’s right, he is correct on his own assessment of being the dumbest CZcams channel for car repair!
"The driveshaft hanging like a horse"
Hoovie 2020
😂😂😂
“Hanging like a horse...”
Hoovie
that took me so off guard
Well, the man does live in Kansas after all....
And that horse is about to do some damage to Hoovie's err... wallet.
Mr. Hands
Haha there's an image. Was not expecting Tyler to say that.
Enjoyed this one very much...Johnny is growing on me...very fast and flows easily around that Alpina engine
Every once in a while I think to myself “Oh yeah, I’ll get a cheap car and fix it then have some fun with it” and then I see these videos. There’s no way I could do this 😂
I've had similar aspirations. These videos crush those dreams like Godzilla stomping a house...lol
@@MrJoebiz24 Or a bull in a China shop.....
diy guy or a virus is in a wuhan shop
You can easily do it, just don't pick a complex, exotic or modern (i.e. electronics and digital) car. Get an American car from the 50s, 60s or even 70s.
You have to find the RIGHT car. One line that is easier to work on are GMs with LS engines. They have remained basically unchanged for the past 20 years.
YOu want easy? late 60's/early 70's pony cars. I used to re and re an engine in a cuda in an hour. There's only like 2 wires to the engine, 2 exhaust pipes, 1 throttle cable, 1 fuel line, and the driveshaft which is 8 1/4" bolts. (and two motor mount bolts). Sorry, and 2 rad hoses. (there's more little odds and ends but that's about it).
Seriously, they are easy to rebuild too. I built one in grade 9 in highschool auto shop class.
Jonny is such a nice guy and his workshop was cleaner looking than some food outlets I've seen, until he worked on Tyler's car.
Where is his shop?
@@zdarovachuvak Wichita Kansas
if a workshop is too nice looking, they dont have much work.
Johnny Karaj do you rebuild BMW TRANSFER CASES?
@@asatopoja I would love to take one apart. I can rebuild zf transmissions all day long. Transfer case should be a lot easier
BMW probably designed those seals to start leaking right about when the warranty runs out.
There was a time when BMW made good cars... sadly that was a long time ago!
Yes. The only way to own one is lease it for 36 months and get rid of it. Imagine a $100K car worthless.
At this point is not a probability. It is certainty.
@@jayr6637 They still make the best straight 6 engines in the world. The V8 is where the issues are. And the V8 is amazing WHEN it works and isn't leaking from every possible place. Unfortunately, that happens quickly compared to other vehicles.
@@opiumized 2JZ, RB26, Barra are all superior lol.
Your mechanic seems to be one of those "never blinks an eye" guys......what a cool dude.
BMW - The Ultimate Depreciation Machine
Tavarish ordering one of them tables as we speak
Tavarish: I just bought the cheapest engine lift table in the country (with some BIG problems)!
... and will enthusiastically talk about how he's gonna use it to eventually soon in the near future work on all his projects
DrunkenGoose
He is better off buying a lift bra
Let's play engine-fit roulette and guess which of his engineless cars he's going to work on.
He can practice on the Bentley.
“BMW figure this thing out” Scotty: “Don’t waste your breath, they won’t listen!” 😆
E N D L E S S
M O N E Y P I T S
What?
Scotty:..."They have problems up the wazoo".
Can’t listen to Scotty. I turn my volume way down, but somehow the guy is still too loud. 😂
Simply horrible to watch his videos. I don’t doubt his knowledge and experience though.
"You'll go bankrupt with this!"
"Fancy table, has it paid for itself?" ...."It's about to!"
Carter Garnon that’s what i was thinking ‘ not yet this week’
this is gem
This one! Gold! Hahaaa
Beat me to it. . .
I can see the car wizard just laughing because he doesn't have to do this job
Yeah! 😂😂😂
Shane Vaughan because he doesn’t know how.
Remember when he tried to the the m5 and screw up the transmission. But Johnny, the guy that works and specializes on bmws fixed it. Wizard is a jack of all trades, master of none. Johnny is a master of german cars. It’s knowledge that’s key.
And Scotty’s laughing because the whole thing is a huge endless money pit
Shane Vaughan this is juice job and if a tech don’t like to do this he’s losing big
I love watching experts doing their job! This gentleman has an amazing shop and tools. Seems to be a nice fella, too! Hoovie, don't pee him off!!!
The BMW Ninja is amazing. He really knows what he's doing.
@god you can learn mechanic is not that hard. Buy the cheapest dead engine and play with it.
Very impressive !
Emm. If he was amazing he’d know there is another way to do this job.
@@MEchanicAL_LSTAR explain
No, he don't know! First of all motor disassembly you MUST drain all fluids possible! He let to run a lot of coolant into cylinders and carter! An messed up everything around also! They even raised car too much...
What a great video.
I’m a BMW tech and have done this job numerous times.
It’s nice that your showing people what professional technicians go through and why you should take your luxury car to a specialist or at least a reputable garage.
Johnny “The Car Ninja” is BOSS and always smiling, love that engine hoist. Still love the Car Wizard 😉
Sweet Johnny is smiling because he see's DOLLAR SIGNS and lots of them too.
I love Tyler’s attempts at trying to get Johnny to play up to the camera more, but it ain’t gonna happen.
Agreed, he's a cool guy.
Yeahhhhhh. Like splicing wiring harnesses?
He is amazing... that is literally like heart surgery for a car! And he has lost count of how many times he’s done it??? Wow!
As any BMW Stealership will tell you with a nice bright smile, the only thing more expensive than a new BMW is a used BMW.
Chris R facts mechanics love bmw
Yeah they love them because they can continue adjusting them to get peak performance and charge large !
If you think BMW cars are money pits take a look at BMW motorcycles
peter455sd wait what wrong with their bike? Was looking at R nine T
@@peter455sd I guess, but i don't know how they can be worse when most of the bikes are far simpler.
you must pay the mechanic double if you "help"
Dariune as a mechanic we’re always told how valuable we are, hell we’re considered essential. Until it’s time to pay:(
i have been working for 10 years in mechanic, and i can tell that guy is charging double just to hear his opinion on the car problems. and the "help" is a hole another rate
Unless you're a mechanic yourself you're in the way. Plus it'll take more time to set up the cameras and do takes over, battery dying and stuff so he's paying
Shop rate is 100 an hour, 120 if you watch, 150 if you help.
@@jdrancho1864 $200/hr if you bring your own parts
“Yeah.”
Car Ninja - 2020
He lets his skill do the talking. ;)
Why are dumb comments like this the top one’s all the time? Quite the specimens comment
and vote on these vids.
I love the direct honestly - “this is why BMW 8 cylinder engines are garbage” for 18 years. Thanks Tyler.
You can't argue it is a bad design.
They are shit prefer the inline 6
It’s the truth, even the next V8 motor, the N63 has the same fucking issue
By the end of the day you'll get some little whinger reply saying "my BMW V8 done 4 billion miles and it never had a single problem"....
Link Knight *hides phonebook worth of repairs
You have to admire Johnny's skill, knowledge and calm and cheerful attitude. I envy him.
BMW: Separating people from their retirement money since the early 2000's!
I've had a few and they'd been bullet proof. If I didn't trust them, I wouldn't let the wife drive a couple of hundred miles across the Sierra Nevada in winter with my kids and dog in the back to see our eldest daughter and grandkids. You know if I guy trusts anyone with their dog in a car, they trust that car. That is true validation of trust. ;) Regular fluids, tires, about 10oz of coolant at 40,000 miles (why, I have no idea but the car complained so I fed it some coolant and never had an issue in the last couple of years), and one parking sensor that decided to "unsonically unweld" itself off the front bumper at 52,000 miles was about it. Some alcohol to clean the surfaces, some alcohol for me and some gator glue was all that was needed. I can live with that.
We've had 32,000 miles of trouble free driving (bought as a certified used BMW at half the price when new at 3 years old), including about 5,000 miles in sub freezing weather above 6,000ft in winter in snow. Because of my spirited driving on Hwy 50, the electronically adjustable shocks in the X3 xdrive35i are becoming foobar'd. I'd love to get some Ohlins but alas they can't even make custom units for it but the BMW OEM were nice. From being fun in sports mode on stupidly narrow Hwy4/Ebbett's pass in the Sierra, where that car reminds me of my old Miata that I raced in SCCA events (and won a regional title) to eating miles on long Interstate drives on I-5, 40 and 10, it's a family hauling-ass beast. On I-10 during the day in Texas where the speed limit is 85mph, it's only a $400 fine for doing 30 over the limit. Guess where the cruise control is set ;) On day I'll test that the M Package really does remove the 155mph speed restriction. It ain't the 65 mph that matey boy was driving is black 348 back from Florida at. Who does that anyway - even folks in Prius don't do that.
Even the 'get me a few miles to the train station at warp speed' 2017 i3 has needed noting apart from windshield washer fluid and a couple of tires. A quirky car for sure but that 0 to 30 that'll make an M3 struggle is fun in town and gets used at every single stop light because I am a child. The stereo is good, the seats are great and the electric motor makes me giggle like a toddler with a dumb toy. Another BMW certified used purchase that was less that was had for less than half the price when it was new. I love it because I can drive it like I can't drive a gas powered car: full spuds when cold. I have too much mechanical empathy to do that in a gasoline powered car until the oil temp (not coolant) is where it needs to be. Most times I don't have 15 minutes to drive around aimlessly to give it some beans. The part of my commute where I need the car is less than 10 minutes. I used to have to take the Corvette (my prior commute car) out on the back roads a couple of nights just because I felt guilty of never getting the engine to temp during the week.
And yes, I ride a BMW motorcycle: an S1000RR. It's a bit quick, especially at 14,000 rpm in any gear (96mph in 1st, 118mph in 2nd) and has put up with with yours truly on everything from winter commutes to track days at Sears Point in 105F weather. 199hp from 1 liter - which is about the same power as yer boy's $30,000 Ferrari at the back wheels :P Apart from the garbage BMW sourced OEM battery it too has needed nothing other than fluids and tires. Plenty of tires. Even the extra toys like cruise control, heated grips, clutchless gear shifting etc etc are still working fine. Whilst it is impossible and hugely irresponsible to ride that ride anywhere close to its limit on the road, it has had about a dozen track days where it's been given a damned good run. I've never made it into 5th on a track but 4th at redline does about 160 to 165. Been there, done that and still didn't break it.
Ironically, I don't have a thing for a brand image. The X3 was the funnest SUV/SAV - the goal was to find something fun on two lane roads in the mountains, the S1000RR was the bike that fit the best and rode the best and the i3, well, I wasn't going to pay Tesla money to drive 9 miles to the train station each day and didn't want the battery death of a Leaf. That the i3 was fun to drive was a bonus. If my commute in the car was 15 minutes longer I'd probably drive a Cayman. The Vette was fun but felt to wide for the smaller NorCal roads that I like to drive on. I've driven a Boxster in the hills a few times and enjoyed it but I have doubts about parking rag top cars in public places all day.
Are BMW i3's fun?
czcams.com/video/lCxqSNsYWc8/video.html
I sometimes wonder what people do to break BMW's. Maybe my mechanical empathy of getting them nice and warm (apart from the i3) before giving it full beans is the key. Back in the 90's I had a 325i and drove that hard and put it away wet - before I knew any better - it wouldn't die. It eventually succumbed to a guy in a small white delivery van that used it as a means of stopping. My fist moved quickly and stopped in his face shortly thereafter. Blamed it on the airbag when the Police arrived. I had a couple of hundred hours of swapping out parts as a novice mechanic, in that car that I knew the insurance wasn't going to pay out for.
@Johnny Dong Take the meds so you can pay attention for 10 seconds ;)
Swampster70 you should have tried Wilbers for the suspension. There’s unlikely to be anything they can’t sort for you.
Take that back 40 years.
Tell me about it. Bought a 2006 750LI from family for $10,000 at 76,000 miles. Had to put in in about $8000 more for various issues. Now it's sitting worthless on my street as I just don't want to put more money into it.
It’s too bad automakers don’t prioritize quality. Especially when they’re asking for $100,000.
They asking 100k when it’s new are you a dumb ass or something . He bought the car for 3500 that’s a price of an apple iMac .
@@mehdieminem you should re-read his comment. He specifically mentioned the automaker. NOT the re-seller! If anyone is a dumb ass here, it certainly isn't him!
Why would they tho? It's a huge investment and it hurts the margins
All that for a car that will be exclusively leased anyways
@@user-yl2wm2gy3z Because any Japanese company can do it on a car that costs tens of thousands of dollars less. Hell, General Motors can do it.
@@mehdieminem You don't have a very firm grasp on the English language do you
My staff think I have lost it laughing in my office. "Hanging like a Horse" Even the ninja lost it! great stuff sir!
Glad to know the boss is on youtube too hahaha
The man keeps a clean garage. Got to love that ! 👍
jeffrey williams agreed
jeffrey williams sometimes... i had a really eccentric mechanic did Immaculate work but was extremely messy
Yup, respects the shop, cleans the tools, respects the trade.
This mechanic is amazing!
He is BMW - Ninja.. for US.. because in Europe are 2 other very good BMW specialists :
One in UK : czcams.com/users/The777Garage
And one in Germany : czcams.com/channels/LLpxcworT8275nBXODXyqw.html
Did he forget to drain the coolant before lifting the heads?
Do not expect a fully functioning 7-series if you spend an amount which wouldn't even cover the value of a set of Alpina rims in good condition...
Finally, a sensible comment. There aren't many here.
That is true but sounds more sad after I think about it, you could buy the car just for the rims :)))
FACTS! He spent $3K & didn’t expect it to have problems...c’mon man 🤦🏽♂️
@@javidol1544 umm the guy said many many have this problem. Quess you did not listen.
@@NeonAstralOfficial you sound immature and unhelpful lol. go back to your honda
Thats one talented mechanic awsome Tell him all of our admiration he is fantastic.
Jonny seem like such a cool dude. Would love to chill and talk cars with him.
I really hope he pays that mechanic well, he seems like a really good guy.
LOL BRO THAT MECHANIC HAS A SET RATE NO MATTER WHAT
John Trussell Hes a BMW tech. He's more than fairly compensated for sure
lol he ain't no vato playing mechanic, he doesn't need your tip
Johnny's getting more relaxed every upload 👍
Still has the on-camera personality of a block of wood though - albeit a very smiley block of wood.
I really hope he sent out the heads to have the valve guides replaced as well. They aren't available OEM, but aftermarket companies make it possible. Cheap insurance when you've torn it down this much.
was thinking the same. the thermal value of the guides might be the culprit. 2002 is plenty modern enough for the world standard seals.. must be something else going on there.
Doomster9
At around 9:20 he said they are going to do a cylinder head overhaul which I’m sure will include the guides.
Hoovie: How do you know if the seal is bad?
BMW: If the engine has run, it's bad!
“I have no faith in this gasket”
-Seinfeld’s mechanic referring to his Bmw
"the driveshaft is...hanging like a horse..." 😂🤣
very good dipshit. Way to just quote the video
" HANGING LIKE A HORSE " LMFAO. GOOD ONE cfc.
@@obnxsdonky9394 Donkey is jealous.
Here's a trick for next time so you don't have to tear it down nearly as far. Take the hose from a compression tester and use an adapter so you can hook a compressor to it. Then all you have to do is pop off the valve cover, remove the cams and do 1 cylinder at a time. The compressed air holds the valve from falling in to the cylinder when you remove the spring. Way easier
You know it’s a world pandemic when hoovie starts helping pull a motor!!
😂😂😂👏👏👏🤘🤘🤘
Probably needed an excuse to get out of the house for a few hours!
They are failing to keep physical and/or social distance. There’s no excuse.
@@randyfitz8310 s stfu boomer
"the driveshaft is hanging like a horse" lmao
I wonder what BMW engineers would say for themselves after watching this video. They would probably blame the valve seal failure on “poor maintenance “.
That's exactly what their fanboys would say
Probably congratulating themselves. Why waste time and money designing it better when it’s lasted through the warranty and is now no longer your problem?
The Germans have a different mentality to engineering. The parts are designed to function for exactly as long as specified. If they lasted any longer, they would have exceeded the specification, which would be a production inefficiency. The weird thing is the don't believe in "over-engineering" when it comes to reliability, but they DO when it comes to power/performance, as BMWs are typically underrated on their horsepower and torque stats from the factory.
Let's not forget the plastic impellers that break, sending shards of plastic to jam in the cooling system...Loose nuts that fall off the shaft of the oil pump, causing it to fail...Add your own to this list...Cheerio!
Had a plastic fan explode on 750il…destroyed every plastic and rubber item in the front of engine ……EVERYTHING….@@SaveWesternCivilisation
3:42 the fake bong hit lmfao my guy johnny! (also where do you all think he's from his accent sounds romanian to me)
Utah
he could be albanian
Iowa?
I thought an introvert Italian. I think it's been mentioned and I think he was Italian.
I think Czech
He's definitely a mechanic, knows exactly what he paid for his tools lol
And how much they have made him!
Oh i though he was a mechanic cause he onew how to take cars apart, fix them, and put them back together. Now i know as long as you know how much a tool costs, you are a mechanic, thanks!
@@josejimenez-gw5yl It's a joke, mechanics pay for their own tools so they are very acutely aware of how much they cost. Shops don't hand them a bunch of tools and say "go at it" (with some exceptions.)
A couple of hours, three with Hoovie's 'help'.
I used to hang around a shop on saturdays. They had their labour rates on the wall:
$100.00 per hour
$120.00 if you watch
$150.00 if you help
Hoovie, the Jeff Goldblum of cars.
EVERY tine I hear him I think of the Grandmaster
Watch the range rover 1 year review.
😂😂 I called him Goldblum on a different video, it’s true lol
Life. Ah. Finds a way. To ah. Get the valve seal. Ah. Now I'm ah. Talking to myself.
I worked on BMW s in the mid,late 70's. Nothing has changed. A collection of seriously impressive parts all held together by the cheapest WPOS connectors and seals.
Same as Mercedes with the plastic timing chain guides...
I like that mechanic specially when he did the bong reference and that joke about the paper towel lool
Its amazing that's there's skilled people out here who do this for a living
I remember a guy told me his BMW was costing him more than his 2 commercial dump trucks, I didn't believe him but now I do.
BMW = Bayrischer-Mist-Wagen, which more or less translates to Bavarian manure car...
Johnny aka Car Ninja is great! He always makes me smile, the guy is full of positive energy.
"I lost count." I don't know exactly why, but that cracked me up. Sorely needed humor at this time!!
That's a seriously intimidating repair job !
@Steven Enno Even with the lift and table 😯
I love cars and repair videos but I even get intimidated about filling the window washer fluid bottle....this video is like horror but I love it
3:42 Car Ninja wants to take a break and smoke a fat bowl already from working on this BMW lololol
Unbelievable
Changing a Chevy pushrod V8 valve seals can be done in the middle of a cow pasture with 2wrenches and valve spring compressor tool
Don't forget the piece of rope stuffed into the cylinder to keep the valves from falling in.
@@Oddman1980 That's what I was thinking. Why can't they change the seals without removing the heads. I like the rope idea, I've done it by putting pressure in the cylinder to hold the valves closed.
Them be the differences between Yankee and German engineering.
@KingDC the moon landing was thanks to the imported German rocket and space scientists, in fact the top tier of NASA had been post war German scientists for long.
@KingDC and so they claimed
“Terminally broken cars”😂🤣
I would eat off of the floor of the Car Ninja’s garage with no hesitation.
damn there are too many ofs in your sentence my brain couldnt handle
@@chiefurkan5819 weak..
@@chiefurkan5819 Actually, just one too many "of" words.
Sometimes you gotta slur your typed comments. The quarantine life 👊🏾
@Rumpled Foreskin you know what I meant, I corrected it to "of". You happy?
My late production M62 4.4 V8 (August 2003 X5) has over 220k miles. Still has original timing chain guides and valve guide seals. No oil burning issues at all.
The oil changes were per the SII for the first 100k miles, then done at around 7k miles for the 100k to 220k driving. Always Mobile 0-40, and BMW dealer sourced filter.
This E53 will be doing the drive from Dallas to Colorado in June, for the Pikes Peak event.
I did have to rebuild the Transfer Case due to chain stretch. Not a fun job on jack-stands in a garage, and without a trans jack. Lifting the TC and lining up to the trans output shaft splines was a total PITA! Will never attempt that job laying on my back again.
Streten is the master on this motor. Have never seen anyone else that has done justice to this Alpina engine. His work was so impressive that even Alpina invited him to their factory. That speaks volume of his work. His channel is called
M539, if anyone is interested in learning about all bmw engines.
Yep, I've finished watching Project Chicago(Alpina B7). It would've been a simple restoration but Sreten took it to the extreme. He didn't stop working on it until he was satisfied.
Imagine paying BMW for 40-50 hours labour plus parts 😱
the same amount you would spend to get a used Mazda that would end up lasting forever.
I heard the screams of a million wallets, crying out in terror before suddenly falling silent.
$20k
I would guess around 12-15K.. ridiculous.
@@APIEngineering until it rusts out likea little turd it is
Definition of insanity: continuing to buy BMWs in expectation of getting a reliable one.
the straight six, the old v8s and the v12s can be very reliable if you take care of them, but they are all atleast 15-20 years old so they need a bit of love the new ones nah sorry no chance
@@pier11francesco nope. All of them except for the 80s ones are money pits, as said by scotty Kilmer
@@ajf5745 yes, Scotty is the reliable indicator of money sinks.
In reality, the issue is that a lot of BMW owners are meh at maintenance and some engines are terrible which you can tell with the benefit of foresight.
His beloved Toyota isn't really the most reliable brand as well now
My 93 525i has been really reliable even though the fact it has 234k on the odometer
Bmws best engines: m20, m30, m or s50/52, m60/62 non vanos, s14, s54, s62 s65.
If hoovie wants reliable bmw he needs to buy an e30 325is or 318is. Or if he likes money pits he can buy an e30m3
EXACTLY why I didn’t get one. I wanted a 7 series so bad, but EVERYONE (including a BMW shop) said walk away because of this and the central cooling tube failure. Went with an Infiniti M series and I’ve never been happier. The V8 in this M45 Sport is a dream to drive.
I had the cooling tube failure and that part was not available at that time….my technician cut and welded the pipe and reinstalled
I'm sure you've heard of planned obsolescence. This is how it works. Remember that you are not a "customer", you are a "revenue stream".
WOW THAT SAYING CHNAGED MY LIFE LOL BLESS U
Johnny is the freaking man!!!! He’s a gem man, keep him close, not a lot of people like him, working like race horse!
1:14 "Hoovie exclaims, this car was over $ 100,000 in
2007, but I bought it for
$3,500" I wonder why? 🤔
There will be always people who think cheapest is "good deal" but later find out it was most expensive.
That's a great car, you just need a tow truck for a second car...
@Ralph Depino it's not going to be 3500, it's going to be like 20,000 to overhaul both heads, plus all the other work it needs
Still cheaper than $100k lol
I like how the car ninja was stealthily standing behind the lifts.
Ready to watch the b7 perform seppuku
M5e39 is doing the same car
1:29
"We have... the Car Ninja."
*quietly appears from the shadow of the car lift"
Car Ninja: "hello"
I had to watch that a couple of times too! With wild west music playing in my mind. This Ninja is amazing.
It was the best anime character introduction I've ever seen tbh 😂
"Just a few studs, and we're yanking some heads."
-- H
Back when I was a sixteen year old kid in high school in the mid seventies we used an adapted air chuck brazed to a sparkplug core to pressurize each cylinder one at a time at TDC. We could then compress each valve spring without the valve falling into the cylinder making valve seal replacement a 2 hour job on most big domestic V8’s. Mind you, they were pushrod V8’s. I’m sure something similar could be done with an overhead cam engine. You would just have to get the cams out of the way.
great idea , mind you that engine is so crammed in there you would still have to tear the whole car apart to get at it .
I’ve had a couple of E46s in the past. They’re good fun when they work but they get expensive quick when they’re broken. The engines aren’t too bad, at least on the old BMW’s, but the problem is everything else around them. Cooling system, electronics, gearboxes, sensors, etc. On a good day they’re amazing fun but those good days can be few and far between.
Knew a BMW tech that said during his BMW training one of the instructors from BMW told them "not to worry, we make sure you'll always have lots of work to do on these". Engineered to fail is exactly right and they'll be doing it to their electric cars too even with only a fraction of the moving parts.
That's big BS and you know it.
The problem with their electric cars is BMW electronics
“Here’s Why BMW V8s Are Junk!”
I thought I subscribed to Scotty by accident.
“BMWs are reliable if you replace all the parts all the time!”
thats a majority of all cars bud. car manufactures engineer shit to be cheap,lightweight,not long lasting compared to Expensive, Stronger, long lasting. if someone bought that for 100k several that person is definitely going to be buying more cars etc. they don't care.
@@seniorbuttocksbiggusdickus7147 We have a 2002 Honda Accord and a 2007 Honda Pilot. Bought new. So far, we've replaced the timing belts per schedule, oil changes, batteries, and tires. Ummm, yeah. That's about it. Both run like new. And I've been hauling several loads a year of firewood in my 4' x 8' x 4' utility trailer with my Pilot. We love our cars. Not junk.
Replace the engine
@@seniorbuttocksbiggusdickus7147 NOPE
@@seniorbuttocksbiggusdickus7147 I have a honda civic with 200,000 miles. Only two major expensive repairs done to it. The time belt and the power steering rack. I replaced other minor parts but that's to be expected for a car with 200,000 miles. I stick to Lexus and Honda for my cars. I don't have the patience to deal with European crap.
The 6 cylinder engines are good. I've owned an E46 330Ci, E60 M5, E60 550i, and E89 Z4 sdrive35i, and I can say the E46 and E89 6 cylinder engines were the most worry free and I actually enjoyed my weekend drives without any breakdowns
The M54 engines in the e46/e85 are good motors.
I had a E60 550i with this issue. But within over 5 years this was THE ONLY issue I had with his car. 2k-3k for years... hey c'mon get a Datsun if you can't afford this.
This engine is good too. The leaking valve seals are a minor issue. Yes it's a lot of work to fix it, but it does not affect engine reliability or performance in any way, it simply uses a little bit of oil. Plenty of people who own these engines just leave it because it'll still work fine.
But bitching about BMW gets a lot of views and likes on the internets, because there are a lot of Toyota owners out there just jelly that they can't afford a BMW.
M57 engines is awesome btw deleted and tuned. (Diesel)
I used to work in the service department of a BMW dealer. I saw a lot of maintenance horror stories with E60 M5’s and F01 7 series. Surprisingly the F13 M6’s were pretty reliable.
Yup, I owned an E60 M5 and every weekend had an electrical issue or something leaking (but it did have about 110k miles though). Buying a formula 1 V10 engine into a family sedan is not a wealth building vehicle (pun intended)
I was surprise he didn't had to remove the doors and windshield to take out the engine xD, BMWs....
2:31 I love that they put that blue cloth material things on the car so mechanic won't scratch it while working. I had my car repairing once and mechanic used those things too, but they were so oily and dirty that instead of protecting, they end up scratching all paintwork in the places they were
That's how you recognize a true expert. Doesn't talk much but has an operating room I stead of a garage and gets his shit done in a blink of an eye :D
So good to see that you are still posting content. You're getting methrough quarantine. Greetings from Barcelona
WOW! You tear down an Alpina and blame BMW. That's some mental gymnastic!
Just traded my 2014 X6M. 120,000 miles and seals are still good. Not burning oil. Hardly any smell to the exhaust. Had to replace the coolant lines to the turbos, but other than than, very reliable. I’m gonna miss her.
The job can be done with the engine in the vehicle. Very expensive tool is needed, and it still takes about 24 hours to do with experience.
It is possible to replace valve seals without removing the heads but i think they are doing a complete coverhaul of the heads.
@@brarautorepairs AGA said 99% of the ones they've looked at didn't need valve guides reconditioned. If you take the first valve spring off and there is huge play you've only wasted around 10 minutes hooking up the AGA tool, then the head comes off anyhow.
"two hours later" always cracks me up.