How Abstaining from Sex Has Affected Our Marriage

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  • čas přidán 27. 08. 2024

Komentáře • 60

  • @Billyboytm
    @Billyboytm Před 6 měsíci +9

    "When you are always so self-centered, you probably are not christ-centered" God bless you guys on the marriage and your youtube channel

  • @MartinEngelbrecht-ey3rl
    @MartinEngelbrecht-ey3rl Před 6 měsíci +38

    I think people would get married faster if sex was only for marriage.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci +14

      Many people willingly accept the “thing” (sex) while rejecting the responsibility that comes with the thing (marriage. Family etc.).
      Society doesn’t do a great job educating us on the “why” behind many of these things. If we don’t know the purpose of a thing, we tend to abuse it.
      Sex certainly is reserved for marriage though, especially for those that claim to have a relationship with Christ.

    • @shcaboose
      @shcaboose Před 6 měsíci +5

      Yeah, religious couples get married faster all the time so that they can have sex. It doesn’t make it a good thing, or a good relationship. Just forces it, which is very silly. Weird that you think getting married faster is better.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci +10

      Not sure if you're responding to us or @Martin, but to clarify, we don't believe getting married faster is better. We actually were together for five years before we got married, the latter three of which we committed to abstaining from sex until marriage. That said, it's not about getting married "faster" so much as it is about developing a relationship with Christ FIRST -- whether marriage is on the table or not.

    • @lovelife8968
      @lovelife8968 Před 6 měsíci

      We forget that personality is a thing

    • @shadeedmuhammad8107
      @shadeedmuhammad8107 Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@BoldenMatrimonywell sometimes you can not respond to everyone because let's say you did say that well we know what the society is doing now it is not working lol, most of the time when you get a response like that they are on the defensive

  • @alonatink24
    @alonatink24 Před 6 měsíci +3

    We’re trying to abstain and it’s hard. We’re taking first steps! I know we’re not gonna be perfect but the shame is so hard

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci

      First steps are the best steps. Don’t condemn yourselves (Romans 8:1)- there is grace there. But understand that the spirit is always willing to follow through with what needs to be done (Matthew 26:41). Praying for y’all ✊🏾

  • @user-fi7yh3qz4k
    @user-fi7yh3qz4k Před 6 měsíci +6

    Yall JUST got married!

  • @Shae88
    @Shae88 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Thank you for this! you’re absolutely right we don’t share/have these conversations and perspectives enough 💯 this is the first video I’m seeing and I plan to see what else you’ve posted. But if you haven’t already addressed it, I’d like to hear HOW you guys implemented abstinence after being active together. We’re in a similar position currently, and backsliding is happening too often!

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci +2

      Absolutely! And thank you. Also Praying for you guys strength - it’s tough, indeed, but y’all got it!
      We did discuss it a while back on the video “our celibacy journey”. We could bring it back up again though as I’m not sure we went into detail about how we committed to that decision.

    • @Shae88
      @Shae88 Před 6 měsíci

      @@BoldenMatrimony I watched that one this morning too, that was just as awesome! I see you mentioned the new habits as well as boundaries you had to create to keep it going, THAT’S the meat and potatoes I’m looking for lol. Can you point me to that video if it already exists? And if it does not, I hope it’s on your list of content to record in the near future 🙏🏾

    • @Shae88
      @Shae88 Před 6 měsíci

      @@BoldenMatrimonynever mind, just found it!! I’m excited to see that, y’all are doing great work with this channel. Thank you!

  • @FilleduRoi
    @FilleduRoi Před 6 měsíci

    Some will not understand but only God can renew their spirit. It is always a good Choice to put God First.

  • @UNQContour-xr8st
    @UNQContour-xr8st Před 6 měsíci

    Thank you guys for your story God continue to bless marriage

  • @missrd395
    @missrd395 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Thank you for sharing! How old were you guys when you got married?

  • @redhood5264
    @redhood5264 Před 6 měsíci +1

    Can I get some of yall to pray for me and my fiance. Been together 4 years and recently engaged. We are struggling through those sex conversations (she has never had it, and I had in my teen/early 20s but hadn't had it in 6 years). She is starting to develop more of a desire as she didnt really have much sexual desire earlier in the relationship from her abstinence it was a part of herself she ignored mostly, and I grew into telling myself that I am unworthy of s3x, and find myself having a hard time wanting to/feeling s3xual. I talked to her about my fear that our honeymoon wont be hanging off the chandelier, and we are praying about it. Please give prayers and any advice. We start pre marital counseling with our church in March.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Man that’s real - I really appreciate you bringing this up.
      More than I we can give response to here - but I can say I’m very happy to see you both are talking about it.
      Keep Christ the anchor, keep praying and keep seeking guidance from GODLY counsel. He will make your path straight (Proverbs 3:6)
      We for sure are praying for the both of you individually and together 🙏🏾

    • @redhood5264
      @redhood5264 Před 6 měsíci

      @BoldenMatrimony thank you so much. Just wanted to say I appreciate people who are going through the hurdles trying to give a practical road map to others. I think if more people wanted to help each other this world would be a bit of a better place

  • @esteeut
    @esteeut Před 6 měsíci +3

    thank you for sharing your story. May it bring glory to God. I'm seeing God reshaping the Christian script to see sex as what God made it to be- in marriage with a husband and wife.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci

      Thanks for watching. We totally agree with that and are very excited to see it!

  • @BriMyselfandGod
    @BriMyselfandGod Před 6 měsíci +2

    Was anything helpful to y’all for fighting flashbacks and impure thoughts once you started to abstain?

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci +1

      Yes, most certainly. We say “call and shout/see something say something” lol
      Have to communicate and share what you’re seeing/feeling so that there isn’t any fear or animosity in your partner approaching you with something. We put it all on the table and talk through it all. Of course with the Bible so that we can recognize lies and replace those things with what is actually true.
      The flashbacks are a thing as well. We don’t realize the impact of impurity while we are in it. But it comes up in marriage. And if not dealt with from the perspective of above - it can get messy. Good question!

    • @BriMyselfandGod
      @BriMyselfandGod Před 6 měsíci +1

      Thanks so much for elaborating!

  • @yolandalcheek462
    @yolandalcheek462 Před 3 měsíci

    I have been abstinent for 6 years. I'm finally to the revelation that I want my future marriage to be Jesus centered and not sex centered. I want to follow God's plan and vision through my husband's vision so that i can fulfill my vision at the same time. Sex is only meant for marriage and producing!

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 3 měsíci

      Amen to that revelation and we agree! Praying with/for you on the journey. He’s faithful ❤️

  • @Sagieeee
    @Sagieeee Před 6 měsíci

    This was so good ❤

  • @UNQContour-xr8st
    @UNQContour-xr8st Před 6 měsíci

    Thank you Lord Jesus for this couple and their story it gives light into what God created sex to be and what expect when I'm married

  • @BriMyselfandGod
    @BriMyselfandGod Před 6 měsíci +1

    Great video thanks for sharing!

  • @valeriebernard604
    @valeriebernard604 Před 6 měsíci +3

    Great content! But his voice is monotone

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci +2

      You know….. that’s great feedback - thank you!
      I literally thought that as I was watching this back 😂

    • @ccd5942
      @ccd5942 Před 6 měsíci +1

      He’s chill , you guys balance each other out! ❤😊

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci

      ❤️❤️

  • @shadeedmuhammad8107
    @shadeedmuhammad8107 Před 3 měsíci

    Beautiful show i do like how calming vibe. Peaceful but one thing i would like to say is that you two are alike. Let me explain yes yall two are different you two seem like yall do not like problems, quite and nerds lol not qnbad thing i admire a person mind. I think these things after your religion is what is working

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 3 měsíci

      Alike in a lot of ways, but distinctly different lol

  • @ElleCatalina
    @ElleCatalina Před 6 měsíci

    Beautiful 🙏🏽

  • @anonimome
    @anonimome Před 3 měsíci

    10:22 Men are mentally stronger than women? 🤔 I agree with waiting until marriage, but there’s a way to make that argument without undermining women’s intelligence. I suggest you read evangelical scholar Philip Payne’s book, Man and Woman: One in Christ.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 3 měsíci

      I knew there’d be someone that pointed that out eventually lol I knew as soon as it came out.
      I agree it could have been said better but the heart behind it certainly isn’t to dismiss/undermine women if that’s what you thought I was getting at.
      The goal was to highlight our unique distinct differences and how that typically plays out in relationships.

  • @goer60
    @goer60 Před 6 měsíci +3

    Abstaining from put all ur business online would save ur marriage.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 6 měsíci +11

      Our marriage is in Christ! It needs no further “saving” as long as we allow Him to be our anchor.

  • @gtg7913
    @gtg7913 Před 5 měsíci

    Abstaining from sex before marriage isn’t possible. There’s no such thing as premarital sex, that’s why you’ll never find the word ‘premarital’ or ‘sex before marriage’ in your Scriptures.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 5 měsíci +2

      Abstaining is possible. We talk about how we did it.
      But language uses both words and phrases to describe things. Which helps us communicate clearly.
      Although “premarital sex” or “sex before marriage” aren’t plainly said in the scriptures - they certainly reference the ideas and give specific instruction on how we should conduct ourselves.
      The word the Bible uses to describe this is “fornication” or sexual immorality - but on this platform I think how we described it would help people better grasp the concept.

    • @gtg7913
      @gtg7913 Před 5 měsíci

      @@BoldenMatrimony Understand what I am saying. Sex before marriage isn’t possible because two are married through the act of sex. Sex is what joins two people together, making them one flesh.
      Marriage, in the eyes of God, is not ordained through a legal arrangement, or through a wedding, which is a celebratory feast.
      Marriage itself is the unification of two, the joining together to become one. This is done by the act of sex.
      This is why I showed you that premarital isn’t in the bible, and sex before marriage isn’t in the bible, because none of those things were possible when those Scriptures were written.
      The world has formed its own idea on what marriage is, and what constitutes as being a valid marriage, and Christians have conformed to that idea and turned away from what true marriage is in the eyes of God.

    • @BoldenMatrimony
      @BoldenMatrimony  Před 5 měsíci

      @@gtg7913 I’m not sure I follow your position on the act of sex being equivocal to marriage. Sounds like you may be conflating the two.
      Can you share some scriptures that support this stance of sex being the Genesis of a marriage?

    • @gtg7913
      @gtg7913 Před 5 měsíci

      @@BoldenMatrimony I didn’t say sex is equivocal to marriage. I said sex is what marries two together. You become one flesh by the act of sexual intercourse. You are married once you become one flesh.
      “Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife”
      The bible we have and read from is in English. It was translated from Greek manuscripts. The Greek word for wife is the same word as woman. The Greek word for husband is the same word as man. You can verify this quickly on your own with a google search.
      Now look at 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul talks about marriage lengthily.
      “But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”
      Man and husband are the same word. Wife and woman are the same word. Therefore, the proper rendering is this:
      “But, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own woman, and let each woman have her own man.”
      You ought to look up the history of the terms “husband” and “wife.”

    • @gtg7913
      @gtg7913 Před 5 měsíci

      @@BoldenMatrimonyGenesis 24:67 shows that Isaac and Rebekah were married when he brought her into his mother’s tent.
      We get our English Scriptures from Greek manuscripts. The Greek word for husband is the same word as man and the Greek word for wife is the same word as woman. Let each man have his own woman and let each woman have her own man.
      You ought to learn the history behind the words husband and wife. None of the Greek writers had a unique word for husband as we know it, or a unique word for wife as we know it.