Exercises in Futility - CrossFit is the WORST Self-Defense Program (Pt. 1)
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- čas přidán 13. 04. 2016
- Part 2: • Exercises in Futility ...
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The royalty free music used in this video is "Comedic Juggernaut" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
Name of the track: Comedic Juggernaut
Artist of the track: Kevin MacLeod
Direct URL of the track: incompetech.com/music/royalty-
free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100288 - Komedie
Learning crossfit as a defense mechanism, gotta confuse the attackers, right babe?!
yep
+North American CZcamsr BUTTHURT?
+North American CZcamsr BUTTHURT?
W
+North American CZcamsr True. But you need to have some sort of ACTUAL defence system. Would usain bolt beat people up in street fights? don't think so.
i took a self-defense class , but quit because they never showed me what to do if the victim starts fighting me back.
+DAN Blaster Have a look at BJJ
+DAN Blaster I think you mean "aggressor"
+gxtmfa I suspect he meant it the way he said it...
+gxtmfa He made a rape joke...y'know, because rape is hilarious.
Oh.... OH. Wow. Ok. Got it now.
"The real mugger is Crossfit, because every day it beats people up - and takes their money."
Thats a mic dropper right there!
I can see the mike drop as you said those wise words
BUT EVEN THE MUGGER GETS BEAT UP
This is legendary
Next up:
How crossfit can be adapted to perform emergency heart surgery by using movements that you're _already fucking good at_ .
Twenty years Wrestling, Judo and Boxing. I can tell you this is beyond terrible and will get you beaten to a pulp
ahahahah i was just about to say that...i do bjj and l can gurantee a person pushing your face like that can be countered easily...Their hips are 9pened up its literally takedown heaven...just do a self defence course BY a grappler.Dont waste your shir with this crossfit shit.
+Papa Lazaru 1 week in jiu jitsu and I could tell all that was terrible
+king kunta I'm a super BJJ ninja and after one second I knew that it was bad...I've been training judo boxing BJJ Krav Maga ufc Internet warrior CZcams school since the early 1900s
Lol I'm sure you're a expert of useless fighting skills judo
+Solrac I'm a 37th degree judo black belt...I studied under maeda..I train with Navy SEALs and know what works...I also train Kung fu and with Jim Corn dropping the anvil.
if he is some crossfit guru and it works so well, why does he have a sloppy couch potato dad bod
^this
+anthony clark First thing i thought seeing the guy...
***** I see
The only people who look good that do crossfit are the juiced up pros who used to bodybuilding
anthony clark he's been going too hard into the bulk.
lol so done at 2:41 "Wow if i ever attack a crossfitter with my boombox, I'm fucked"
this video killed me. Especially the boombox part. i died
If youre dead, how'd you comment?
I dieded also on this
Lol
Those poor schmucks could have spent less money joining a boxing or muay thai gym.
Diggy22 at least at a muay thai gym the first lesson is free they teach you the basics and you dont have to join. same at some wing chun places.
Or keep your money and sign up to an ACTUAL gym, none of this crossfit bullshit, and don't get me started on Planet Fitness
El Carlos lol that won't happen if you don't actually compete! Inside the gym the worst you'll get is a cut or a broken nose, but that can happen in any sport.
@@williampilling6576 but an actual gym wont teach you self defense. I would def suggest judo or jiu jitsu academy.
If you've ever trained in any functional martial art you will find this hilarious!
I expect women to fall for this shit, but most of the class is men. Just embarrassing
funknotik this is silly I agree be careful of the body glitter
As a wrestler, i see many opportunities to counter this bullshit. The face shove technique could be ideal for a setup for an effective move, but it leaves your body exposed and it's likely going to fail. I can't believe people pay so much money for this crap. I rather learn karate from a mcdojo than this bullshit.
I find it brain damaging.. poor people will actually use these techniques in a real fight, these girls will not be able to protect themselves
More like suicide. I would feel bad that these brainwashed fools use this load of crap in a fight. In my opinion, boxing and wrestling should be your 1st arts. Gotta know striking and grappling. Especially BJJ.
"Functional fitness is like inner beauty. It can mean anything and so it means nothing." Perfect!
"The weakest muscles in the body are at the back of the neck."
"Actually, on a crossfitter it's a 640 way tie."
I lost it!
Gold
After watching a bunch of your videos Elgintensity, I am starting to hate cross-fit as much as you do.
Its a clever marketing scam, I have to give them that.
They are like an even greedier version of Scientology.
Just listen to Rippetoe talk about crossfit.
He hates it almost religiously. Just mention crosshit around him and it's like a self winding machine of hate just brought to life, it's biblical.
"The last thing a woman needs to do when she is getting attacked is get on the ground and spread her cheeks" aaaaannnnddd I lost it! I had to stop the video because I couldn't stop laughing and didn't want to miss any more of the comedic genius of Dr. Victor Von Trapenstein.
same happened to me. this guy is funny as fuck
"If I'd ever attack crossfiter with my boombox I'm f*cked"
czcams.com/video/rTqBWCRRyHw/video.html
I loved "if I mugged her I'd probably give her purse back so she could shut the fuck up"
This giy is the Penguinz0 of the fitness community
I replayed it 4 times
Man, why didn't they teach us this technique in the Marine Corps? Seems very effective!
Self Defense 101:
Don't Do "The Four STUPIDS"
Don't go to STUPID PLACES, at STUPID TIMES, with STUPID PEOPLE, who do STUPID THINGS.
Do that, and 99% of your self-defense is done.
Someone who goes home and goes to sleep because he has work tomorrow morning is going to see different results from someone who hangs out with his drug-addict friends in their illegal meth lab at 3 o'clock in the morning while they show off their gun collection.
If you do CrossFit, then you do all four things at once.
No. Well over 80% of self defense is combat. The other 20% is trying to persuade attackers into fucking off and as you said. Not be stupid.
***** No it's not. You spend 80% of your time drilling self defense techniques rather than diffusing the situation or bailing.
80% of self defense, Spread Cheeks.
20% of self defense, suck it long and suck it hard
無理だぞ 😂
Fernandino Alonsini Sometimes the best defense is hauling ass. No matter how strong you are you will never be Bulletproof or knifeproof or getting stomped out in the wrong Neighbourhood proof.
Attack a crossfitter with my boombox, I'm in trouble. LMAO
Most, if not all, of the old episodes of "Exercises in Futility" will go up on this channel, so subscribe if you weren't around to see the old episodes or if you want to watch them again.
I'll return to recording videos next week. I just took this week off to play as much Dark Souls 3 as I could. --El Trapo a.k.a. Puglord
Hey Trapitol Punishment. What flavourless whey protein would you recommend?
+Sidney Bluemink Whey.. its all the same shit man
+Josh Arthurs I know whey is whey but finding decent flavourless in the UK is surprisingly difficult.
+Sidney Bluemink How come you're looking for flavourless ? Try olympus health they sell 5kg bags for like 30 quid, much better than My Protein.com
+Josh Arthurs thanks for the advice. I'll have a look at that. Been doing weights a few months now but never taken whey. The flavoured whey I've seen seems to have a lot of sugar. Been advised to look for unflavoured but hard to find.
I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm pretty sure disciplines such as Muay Thai, Brazilian jiu jitsu, judo, etc., are what you'd practice if you wanted to become a better fighter. Those are proven fighting disciplines. Crossfit most definitely is not.
word. and spend less money too.
Only thing you're fighting is GAINS!!!!
And Boxing
@@jpoulivaati and the money in your bank account lol.
These techniques are totally effective if you ever fight an attacker who is immobile, non-reactive, and can be incapacitated by a single shove to the face.
So this is self defense against blind people?
@@kaptinbarfbeerd1317 *self defense against blind people in a wheelchair with missing arms
the 2 on 1 drill is amazing. one guy takes a really soft and slow punch and backs off immediately, the next guy gets into a weird squat and turns his head to the side while she pushes against him like a football sled before running away through what I can only assume is intended to be an analogue for a doggy door.
as a muaythai coach, that was hilarious.
+shmoriy And as a muaythai practitioner, I almost throw my computer from the ninth floor window.
If these Schmoes would train in an actual Martial Art, they wouldn't need Crock of Hissy Fit!
As a guy who learns useless martial arts, I'm glad there are more idiotic people than me.
the infamous that's not the point
_" if you get into a fight, you may be scared, thinking too much, getting lost, confused etc"_
No, literally the exact opposite. In an "emergency situation," people without prior training; without a plan--PANIC. People who have trained in advance--REVERT TO TRAINING. Think "pilots running 'emergency procedures checklists' as the plane falls from the sky."
ANY training, even poor training, is going to be preferable in a "high-pucker scenario," as it allows you to revert to training that has (hopefully!) been honed to instinct, versus trying to "think up" a response as you go.
Kipping groin strikes?
Dat power bottom move
I think cross-fit should become the next "stand-up" comedy gig!
+victor staniste has been for a while now and it's fucking hilarious.
simplicity22 True.
+victor staniste
I am still trying to work out if that crossfit self defense thing is comedy or is actually serious?
My self-defense style is called Smith and Wesson. I use the revolver stance. It contains .357 techniques that move at 1400 fps.
Even I had to interject commentary on this too lol
"It'll help me as a school teacher in case I have to, you know---"
"Drop kick a shitty kid?"
Profile picture fits
that is not the ball you should be going for cupcake. lmfao
is she going to double palm her students in the face?
if she does they will kick her ass
Avocado that's not a good idea last teacher to double palm her student ended up in jail for statutory rape.
Kevin Terry ok ok u win .
She'll double palm her face once her students find out she does CrossFit
You know what kind of defense would REALLY keep a crossfitter safe? Shooting an attacker. Buy a gun, get good with it, carry it when possible.
+Sunshine_Shooter Blahino is that you?
Mr Bubbles773 Lol
+Sunshine_Shooter funny how people think it takes no effort or skill to handle a firearm. You have to be an experienced shooter to hit on close distance, actually within range of a knive it probably the more dangerous weapon.
+abmo32 that's why he said get good with it so you can be efficient while using it and knowing how to safely handle it the 99 percent of the time you aren't firing it
abmo32 I have carried a gun every day for the last few years. I am extremely aware of how much skill and training it takes to do so safely and effectively. Just like xMaxamumX pointed out, I said "get good with it". What is good for one person may not be good enough for the next, but I'll let them decide that for themselves.
This can't be real... People actually think this will work?
lol, people could just go join a real martial art of some sort, BJJ/Shotokan/Boxing/Judo/etc and get all the exercise they need while learning something actually beneficial. I bet these crossfit things even cost more than a membership at a decent martial arts place.
For real...learn to pick up a tire, or learn to choke someone. Play with a ball or learn to break someone's arm.
Creepy Cooter
I think dislocating an arm would be better to learn. First off it’s cheaper to pay and it still hurts like hell if you do it right.
@@pizzasub3194 exactly but i have found for me personally its easier to go for the collar bone then to dislocate someones joints cause no one expects you to hit them in the collar bone and you also take out half of your attackers body by going for 1 single bone
Question, what is shotokan? Is it legitimate? Always found the eastern martial arts not very practical and good old boxing wrestling and ju jitsu is best.
Cross fit combat instructor starter pack: Black shirt with gray lettering saying combat, be old with gray but spiked hair, tribal tattoo, and most importantly the matching gray cargo shorts(these are vital).
I'm glad more of these are coming to CZcams. Thank you, Al Trapone.
Off the turnbuckle into the spear? Are you the Roman Reigns of crossfit?
I can't wait for the crowd to boo the eventual combined Phenomenal forearm/superman punch spot out of the building in his match against AJ Styles. How come everything that involves Roman Reigns has to be predictable like three months out? lol
Breaking news: CrossShitter found dead after resisting mug outside his local box.
Watching this in the library. STRUGGLING. TO. CONTAIN. LAUGHTER.
thanks for the vids o doscovered the channel yesterday with your crossfitters learning boxing and i was crying laughing. ive been binge watching ever since
that 'if I ever attack a crossfitter with my boombox' line got me laughing so hard
They're all standing up straight, do people not get taken down if they do crosshit?
I'm 30, 6' tall, 225 pounds, I bench in the mid 300s and squat in the mid 400s. I wrestled for 7 years and trained in MMA for 2...
I carry a gun, f getting in a fight if you can avoid it.
Wow you’re just like the rest of youtube comments
@@cringecake321 Those are not unreasonable stats
Real talk, I am VERY nervous for that teacher who thinks she has a chance in hell of successfully breaking up a fight in the hall.
I guess no one in this class including the tutor has ever been in any type of fist fight
I would totally fight crossfitter but I wouldn't want to get body glitter all over my hands
Dear god help us...next they'll be running under the moniker of "The most dangerous athletes on the planet". lol!!!!
I forgot how much i loved this channel.
I can't tell you how much your work means to me dude. It makes me laugh even when I'm down and it's just the best. You're doing the work of the Lord. God bless
Yo traplord. Where the fuck are you? Your videos make my day.
InfinitElgintensity
InfiniteElgintensity
Crossfitters are desperate to find validation by searching for relevancy of their sport into everyday life. It's hilarious.
Keep up the great work man.
The most dangerous thing about these kinds of seminars is that they try and tell people, especially women, that size doesn't matter in combat. The truth is, size is one of the most important factors. If that were not the case, then there would be no weight classes in fighting. The best thing for 99% of people to do is to run and scream as loud as possible. I always here people try and tell me that technique and experience can overcome size, and I believe that to some extent, but a short seminar course will not provide enough technique or experience. I hate to break it to these people, but the world isn't fair. There are very few women that can defeat the average male in a fight, no matter what the local McDojo says. This guy is acting like these people are stronger than they are to feed their ego and gain financially from this scam.
I don't understand why they go under the poles at all.
I am honestly trying to figure out at what area in your day to day, or even special circumstances of areas would you ever find yourself needing to escape under something small? Is there a half opened garage you are getting in/out of? Are you escaping under a truck?
This is next generation mc dojo
2:41
This Elgintensity line should go in his hall of fame, it gets me every time I hear it 😆
For anyone wondering, the coach in the vid has since moved on from CrossFit.
He's still teaching this self-defense stuff, but it's now called the SPEAR system, so I guess if you like you can search it up and see how it's "evolved" from here...
lmao 648 way tie... im dead
All u need is Cross Maga
you got me at that Dim Mak moment, nicely done
I stopped watching this Channel when you had take your stuff down due to copyright BS. Glad to see you're back!!
King Elgin, I'm undecided on getting Mr. Hyde or Meth Lab, in your unbiased opinion which do you recommend in terms of low volume high frequency training ?
+Josh Arthurs I use Meth Lab or M1 (whatever is in stock). If you use "ELGIN25" at tlm-research.com you get 25% off your order.
+"Exercises in Futility" Archive Yeah i saw that on your instagram that's why I'm undecided, Iv hit so many pr's when using hyde but with the 25% off meth lab is looking like a good choice, thanks for the response just one question will probably help men decide, how much beta alanine is in meth lab because I couldn't find an ingredients list ?
+Josh Arthurs me* not men ffs
+Josh Arthurs At 25% discount, you could use 25% more product and financially be the same, while still getting a lot more performance out of what you use. Unless you think that Hyde is 25% better, in which case it's still break-even.
+Sunshine_Shooter Even discounted meth lab only works out at like 4 dollars less
Crossfit : self defense.
Krav Maga :Am I a joke ??
This is the funniest channel I've seen in a while, and it's true af. Elgintencity fucking exposes everything, and it's witty, funny, and intelligent. Keep spreading the bullshit my man and expose that shit. :)
I love that "Functional fitness can mean anything" line because I've said very very similar for years in management, "Professionalism is like true love or inner beauty. It's vague and means anything you want it to, so it therefore means nothing. Be polite and do your job."
And yeah, it most certainly applies to fitness. I doff my cap, sir.
Annnd that's a wheelchair
Is this more effective than Moe Syszlak´s system "funk dance for self defence"?
Fat Freddy
Nah Moe could actually move & he had a gun.
NEVER
@elgintensity Lol ELGIN you have no chill and very valuable points on these crossfit commentaries! You the man TRAPOSAURUS REX.
So glad you mentioned Bas Rutten
lmao if you try to use that shit on the streets they will beat you up while laughing their ass of
Thats my purse!! I dont know you!!
OMG, I love this channel!
"Functional fitness is like inner beauty" :D *subscribed* :D
I wanna fight that defense instructor. I'm 15 and I bet I can still kick his ass; I do MMA and boxing.
you could beat him with a stick of celery
Or a tampon
...or that 😶
hahahahahaha XD
His name is Tony Blauer. Look him up and jump him at one of his gigs.
WHAT.THE.FUCK did I just watch ? Are these people serious ? This looks like a parody/mockery from SNL . This has got to be a fucking joke.
Chin up and hands down (after the first push) - seems like a fight winning combination.
Love your sarcasm mate! Thumb up.
Haha that boom box joke was on point.
The Bas reference...🤣🤣🤣Love El Guapo
Thank you for mentioning Bas Rutten. His books and DVDs are great.
that demak, park was hilarious.
Haven't even finished the video and I'm dying, I love this shit
The best MMA writer and analyst in da game tweeted this vid.
nice going bruh
"If I ever attack a cross-fitter with with my boom box. . ." LMFAO I DIED
Just laughed so ham I spit my coffee all over the keyboard. #exposedyourface
" dat dim mak" had me rolling 😂
"you killed that guy with one hit.. that dim mak" that killed me hahahahahah
ahahah good job for plugging Bas Rutten ahaha this guy is awesome !
"I'm sorry miss, but I'm going to break your arm."
Comedy gold.
great video trapadamus
One of my greatest accomplishments is teaching my wife how to box. It's been almost 6 years now 3 times a week and she's gotten good.
Drawback....I cant walk around the house without my guard up...she's a little firecracker.
New to both of your channels and I love your commentary. Not sure if they have suggested this trap nickname but what about "Daenerys Trapgaryen"?
Although I don't agree with everything you say on your vids, I have to say you're spot on here. Your best weapon is the one you carry between your ears. After this get some instruction in multiple self defense courses like Jujitsu, boxing, street fighting etc. Just make sure you get a good instructor. Stay in shape. Stay vigilant. Stay informed.
Hahaha your comment about getting on the ground and spreading cheeks had me dying
I enjoy these commentaries from the Lawyer of MeTrapolis.
One of Elgin’s best!!! #HOF
The double leg and the slam, sweet
holy shit the boombox line actually made me spit out my cereal like the guy in the fucking meme
@inifinitelgintensity trapaholic we need more videos brotha! are u going to be posting more than once a week at some point? #vincegroastpart3 😂😂
"If i ever attack a crossfiter with my boombox i am fucked" i died right there.
Trapmaster and Bas Rutten in one video doing commentary would be gold.
The boom box line killlllllled me. Has anyone done Veloci-TRAPtor yet?
You are my lord and memer, the meme lord we need
The boom box bit 😂😂😂
Upvoted for the body glitter quote :D