Willow - It's A Total Disaster
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- čas přidán 14. 12. 2022
- Willow, the latest low-effort product on Disney+, is pretty much the personification of everything bad about modern writing. Join me as I take a look.
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Scientists warn that within 5 years time disney will run out of childhood classics to ruin
That seems like a rather conservative estimate to me...
Which childhood classic will be the last one to fall?
One word for you, remakes.
@@tintinismybelgianironically it’ll be Walt’s first creation. Mickey himself
@@plamenyonkov9154 I would love to see a live action show of Chronicles of Prydain if Disney still has rights to it. The Black Cauldron was flawed but still an enjoyable romp that showed promise even though it had to cut out and alter stuff and condense the story a lot, so having a multi-season series to explore the books in depth would be welcome. It pains me that Disney and fans often forget Princess Eilonwy in the Disney Princesses list. Just imagine seeing Arawn Death-Lord on screen in his full glory. :)
Not all the participants were bad. The horses were cute and fulfilled their roles as mounts flawlessly.
horsies are always good aren't they.
You don't know how much cgi was involved in making them cuter...
*there method acting was subtly very brilliant and worthy of many bags of oats*
Holy crap, the chase scene with the horses had me and my kids rolling on the floor laughing. All of the close ups were about as unnatural looking as I have ever seen.
They're not the only ones who weren't acting.
The TV series has 8 episode with a total playtime of roughly 400 minutes. This 12 minutes long review video has 1.6 million views so far. So Drinker actually saved 400 * 1.6 million - 12 * 1.6 million = 620.8 million minutes for humanity. I call this serving the good cause!
Lmao hell yeah!! I knew this show was going to be absolute shit, and I was right again. I loved the original movie as a kid. I hate modern Disney.
You probably failed maths if you assume that everyone haven't watched the series before watching this review. You also assume many people won't watch series after watching this. C'mon many people watch just to kill the time.
@@nomadperson4619 GUYS GUYS I found the one fan of the show
@@tableswithoutchairs1168 you should get an achievement for that
@@nomadperson4619You’ve got a point, even if we half the numbers to account for people who have or will watch the show, that’s still a high number and a service to humanity nonetheless.
Remember when Willow was just a story of a dwarf and a baby going on an adventure?
@@privatecitizen5968 Greatest swordsman who ever lived.
@@craigdaurizio686 *Gasp* "You are great..." *Smiles, flips swords, slips and falls on ass* I mean, the movie is gold.
@@privatecitizen5968 It is 💯
"I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived" - Madmartagen
i LOVED that movie and watched it multiple times
Rings of power, wheel of time, witcher and now willow. The people that tried to gaslight us and said this is a "golden age for fantasy" are such despicable people.
Don't forget Star Wars and Marvel
The only real exception was possibly Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance which despite only lasting for one season consistenting of just ten episodes was some of the best televison I've seen within this modern decade. You can really tell unlike near everything else from the Witcher, Rings of Woke, Willow or Wheel of Time the people who made that show clearly loved and respected the original movie and generally sought to add to it rather then tear it down for the sake of THE MESSAGE.
@@death-king1834 which I'm so glad that netflix is not making another season. They would've messed it up. I'm sick of sequels now.
Witcher Season 2. Season 1 was was good. But now I’m worried.
No one ever denied it would be "golden" as in "Shower"
"I don't know what Marvel sees in this girl"
I do. She's got the perfect multi-culti look. Actual talent doesn't matter to these weirdos.
yup
You nailed it
@@PocketDelicious She's visibly not White.
That's exactly it. That's the only reason.
The epitome of la creatura.
I lost it at "beta male who uses safety scissors to open his bag of crisps." 🤣👏🏽
I like the 2 redheads creating a ginger singularity that would destroy the universe comment...i lost it and almost wrecked
Me too
I just love how the characters speak in a modern manner, and wear modern looking clothes, even though this is a medieval fantasy.
And half of the old characters talk like they’re from old times, it’s so weird
Yeah it's super weird. Like at least try? When the berry bush grew from magic I was expecting a response of "oh fucking Hella cool bro" 🤣 then you have people wearing jeans and shit. Just why?
Halfway trough ep1 I was like: is this real?? It’s like watching Saved by The Bell.
I mean it worked for Xena Warrior Princess. But they can't remake that since it would remind people that there was a popular female led action series that outperformed the show it spun off from all the way back in the 90's which doesn't fit the woke narrative of women being oppressed.
They bought their clothes at Walmart in between scenes.
“Strong Female Character, Ginger Plank of Wood and a group of talentless diversity hires” is flawlessly put. This entire review is flawless
Ginger plank of wood ... I just took a mouthful of my drink ... I now have a wet crotch... thanks drinker.
Right?!? Only while watching the Drinker"s reviews do I experience so many conflicting emotions, sensory combos that I would have thought impossible! What else can induce one to laugh heartily while simultaneously gagging with rage-fueled nausea and disgust? Only the scorched earth, no-fucks-given critiques of the Drinker extraordinaire!
I loved the original movie. As such, I was hyped for this series. That lasted about as long as it took the screen to focus on Kit and Ginger wood plank. It’s a boring series that manages to take a dump on the original.
Yeah, this is good stuff.
The only ginger they can have lol
It's amazing how EVERY FANTASY SERIES turns out to be.....just like our world today.....which I'm always trying to escape.
I mean they DON'T reflect the world we live in today, either, because in no world can an anorexic teenage girl win a fight against anyone.
Well, you know, a world where minorities are the majority... only magic can explain this paradox.
@@gsofficial Actually they reflect it quite well. Megan Markle is a good example, a mind numbingly incompetent chronic liar but apparently a hero no matter how undeserving or ridiculous that notion is, and it must be true because sheep like whatever they are told is trending on social media. Just like this punishing series, it is complete garbage and you can look forward to a trans character in season 2.
@@benoitmatters3674 perfectly said
Seriously, there are like 72 genders now, they will push this BS into the fantasy world no doubt, they will probably somehow put covid propaganda in this sh*t. Victim mentality. Black people seemingly common in fng anglo saxon Brittain, and also the star of the show, unless a pink haired non binary trans woman knight doesnt win out on the victim scale.
"When a show literally takes the piss out of itself, it leaves me wonder what the hell I am supposed to do." Excellent!
Eloquent inebriation at it's zenith The Drinker can fix anything!
Gentlemen, it's been an honor watching the fall of intelligent entertainment with you.....
What the heck is wrong with the studios and writers these days? This new generation of modern writers and creators are so far up their own asses. They don't seem to take a hint or learn any lessons from their constant failures and don't have the talent or guts to make anything original. Maybe the upcoming failure of Indy 5 will be a turning point. Whenever I'm tired of dealing with the BS and the people of the world we live in today, I like to sit back, relax, and watch TV that reflects the world we live in today.
Godspeed, Drew Pooters.
I never thought I would see the fall of creativity with someone called Drew Pooters.
Its not all bad
The amazon prime Reacher show got funding for a season 2
Shit is amazing
@@SRMoore1178You answered your own question in the second sentence.
I had a professor of creative writing once tell me when I was in college that "you cannot write characters who are smarter than yourself." I have been thinking about that a lot recently.
As the Drinker says, “A character is only as smart as the person writing them.”
That’s hilarious, damn what a deep cut, sounds like a good teacher
I think you can, but to do so takes time and serious writing skill.
There's a trick you can use.
Since you as the writer are creating all the problems and dilemmas the characters will face, you know the answers to solve those things. Just trace backwards from the answer to the question and let your smart character follow that path.
@@GodwynDi Maybe; but if you haven't researched and consulted with people who have lots of knowledge about a subject, anyone who does have practical knowledge will know your character is full of shit.
"Ginger plank of wood" checks so many diversity quota boxes, i'm surprised she doesn't have 3 roles in this show.
'SHE'S THE BESTEST EVARRRRR!'
Well she's mixed race ginger so her diversity hire points are huge! Seriously Kathleen Kennedy obviously just wants lgbt and no strong male leads in every Lucasfilm turd because she knows she can't be fired so why not.
She's perfect and the industry knows it.
A multiracial ginger really fits on the Gingercide narrative.
With her red hair, I wonder why she wasn't cast as Elora Danan?
shes in everything... fuck!
Every remake nowadays:
- How crappy it is?
- Yes.
Worst part is, there were 2 books published as sequels to Willow that were excellent. They followed Elora Danan as she grew up and learned about her purpose, fleshed out the world, and showed Willow Ufgood after becoming a great wizard. It actually ticked all the necessary boxes for those all about "the message" tm, and was still a great sequel and conclusion to the original movie. Shadow Moon and Shadow Dawn, I believe they were called.
I had no idea there were books written as sequels. Definitely gonna add those to the list
There where actually three.
When I sat down to start watching this series. That’s what I was expecting…not the dumpster fire that was the series. I didn’t finish it
We should all take just a moment to thank The Drinker for sparing us the horror of having to watch this show. He threw himself on that grenade, and he deserves our gratitude.
willow was a childhood favourite movie of mine so I watched the first episode full of enthusiasm.
it felt like my heart had been ripped out, eaten and shat back on my face
Even after seeing his overview of the show I feel like throwing myself on a grenade!!! ... I feel very unwell.... my eyes burn!!!
The only thing i disagree with is: She Hulk IS still worse than willow.. but that doesnt mean willow was any good.
I believe our drinking friend deserves a round of applause! This is the first time his “go away now” sounds more angry than drunk… I raise my glass to you drinker!
Well said!
"Getting old and can't do magic anymore". That about sums up the current Disney corporation.
Painfully true…
Or most humans... "magic" gets harder to do when you get old... look at James Cameron! His T levels got so low, he turned hostile against them!
Modern tv
@complete video here me when Willow is actually a tall man😔😔😔😔
Holy shit. You’re right
Now Sorsha was a REAL strong female character who switched sides for the sake of a good man. Wouldn't we have loved to see her and Madmartigan having adventures while raising Elora and the other kids?
though I agree...I'll leave asking Val Kilmer to lose 25kg and stop being a dick on set to you lol
The only problem there would be real life.
In real life, Val Kilmer and Joanne Whalley got married, and then divorced 8 years later. And add to that Val had cancer which resulted in his larynx being removed.
Now Sorsha was a REAL strong female character...
yeah - and sadly this series turned her into a useless, incompetent and hypocritical piece of trash, who first tears down her daughter for "disrespecting and insulting" her brother the "crown prince", two minutes before insulting and belittling said crown prince herself,
is entirely unable to do anything useful when a group of enemies just walks into her castle and kidnaps that prince right under her nose
and then instead of sending an army, rather sends her daughter and only other child with a small group that includes her "politically important" fiancy and endangers their lives too for no good reason.
Similar like the Star Wars sequels did it with Leia.
As a ginger we don't claim the ginger plank of wood as our own. But her character has no soul so she can blend in with other gingers
She looks like an NPC to me.
@@indy_go_blue6048 NPC being No Personality Characteristics?
The episode where strong female character and ginger plank of wood beat the shit out of each other to accurately represent same sex relationships brought a tear to my eye.
Nooooooooo FEMALES! Whatever will we do?!
The bestest couple evar!!!!
Best comment, you deserve a pin.😆
Fuckin' LOL XD
Topkek you've obliterated my sides
The "GO AWAY NOW" had more acting in it than all of Willow. Impressive.
There was no acting, just tired resignation of a drunk Scotsman 😂🤣
Finally, Drinker has provided the Hulk we all deserve.
No shit, right?!? Well said and spot on!
I think that he was genuinely pissed off when he said it this time.
Patrick Bateman: "Oooooo! :)"
1. Ginger singularity. I loved that phrase.
2. I'm happy for Warwick Davies getting to reprise a role. Too bad he wasn't happy to reprise the role.
3. Thank you for watching these so that I don't have to.
The show felt like someone's spoiled tweener niece wrote her own fantasy novel, who promotly nagged to have her aunt/uncle at Disney turn it into a show, and the execs, hamstrung to turn the questionably "done" script into a show, retconned Willow into the script, BECAUSE THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY THEY WERE GONNA CON ANYONE INTO WATCHING IT.
Willow was a perfectly self contained movie. There was no cliff hanger. There was no Lore...there was only the events of that movie. It did not need a Sequel, prequel, ANYTHING.
Actually it did get a sequel of sorts as a trilogy of novels called Chronicles of the Shadow War written by Chris Claremont and George Lucas. I haven’t read them but I heard they were not good.
@@davidmckown3590 I read them. They are ok. Not great but at least makes logical sense.
Right?
When I heard there was remake, my first thought was "Why?"
'self contained' huh.... sounds so familiar. 4chan needed /mlp/ as a containment board years ago and it started to live a life on it's own. I would not mind if garbage would be 'contained' in this area as well.
@@SignoftheMagi In point of fact they SUCK. And that's speaking as a fan of both Chris Claremont and Willow in general.
Hint: In the first chapter of the first book, EVERYBODY DIES who was in the movie. Except for Willow, who inexplicably changes his name in the first few pages.
This was the most aggressive “go away now” ever. I think we finally broke Drinker with Willow.
Almost made me jump out of my chair.
Sounded scarier than my ex-wife!
When he said it, I felt it.
I better hurry to the next video before he gets the bouncer to throw me out.
Fake channel reported to CZcams and Telegram. I think I know what you can do with your 'reward'.
Ha, ha.
That was an unusually furious and angry "Go away now ". This show must have really gotten under the skin of our Drinker. We appreciate what you have to go through for us brother 😂
Oh. Ginger plank of wood is actually a "lesbian" and "multiracial". Explains why she's getting all those roles and that they are really high on her.
I love it when the Drinker makes up nicknames for the characters and refuses to use the names they were given in the show. Such an entertaining power move
"Ocean Man" 😂
@@roboninja3194 mr nimbus? oh, that other guy - nimbus is cooler
RIGHT!😂
Probably helps avoid copyright strikes too. Drinker be a smart dude
Seems childish. No wonder he watched Willow!
Your "Go away now!" was delivered with more emotion than any line from any character on this Willow series.
Yon Drinker seems to have the Big Mad about this one.
@@harbl99 The film pulled him out of a drunken stupor.
Everything you said was spot on in this review 🤣🤣🤣 I loved the Willow movie and tried to watch this. I got to the 3rd episode and when the two farm Ladies wearing clothes from the Bass Pro shop were introduced I gave up. They already weren't taking the story or acting serious, so when they gave up on the costumes I did too.
I was utterly baffled when I saw that. He showed it briefly in the video but I'm disappointed Drinker didn't bring it up.
Never would have guessed that was a clip from the show! I wondered why it was in the vid. WOW!
@TheGlassesPro 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😅🤣😂🤣
The plank of wood was the plank of wood in falcon and winter soldier as well. It's amazing how she kept the consistency.
I guess she's got magical lady parts. How else is she getting all those roles?
She's multi-ethnic AND a lesbian. I'm surprised they didn't make her their official spokeperson already and that she don't have 4 roles in that serie.
She's the best example of what's wrong with Hollywood / Disney / Netflix casting post 2019
she is mixed and most importantly, u can actually see it when u look at her plus ofc she is a woman so yeah they HAVE to take her in every disney project
What worries me about that is she started in Solo when she was definitely not yet 18.
Her only magic part is mostly used while on her knees in front of the producers.
It's kind of amazing that The Drinker's critiques of Disney's shows are always more entertaining and insightful than the shows themselves.
That's what happens when you get someone who actually knows how to write.
In total fairness, Warwick Davis wasn't very good in the original Willow either. I know that "vertically challenged" & "actor" probably makes for a very small Venn Diagram group, but after seeing both Peter Dinklage & even old Billy Barty, one realizes that the talent pool isn't very large.
Or rather, (apologies) deep.
And because the Drinker's critiques of Disney's shows are more entertaining than the shows themselves, he should get his own special section at Disneyland.
Maybe even a ride..... we can call it the "Vomitron." A Multi-Media experience where riders are forced to watch a diverse cast deliver "the message" while spinning around in a cage with 11 other vomiting passengers.
Yes so funny . First time I’m here. Bloody brilliant 👍🤣
I do not watch the movies unless directed to by the multi faceted drinker...
Disney's love for Ginger Plank of Wood is 100% based on what she looks like. Both Solo and Falcon and Winter Soldier did the same trick where she wears a helmet then in a dramatic moment takes it off and absolutely everything stops for a couple minutes because the creators are expecting everyone to have their entire worldview destroyed by this reveal. They also expect the audience, just like the other characters, to instantly forgive everything this character has done and desperately want to be her friend based solely on her appearance.
I'm fairly certain in both Solo and F/WS they intentionally made her look more ethnically ambiguous than she actually is because in Willow she just looks like a ginger but in those other titles she looks fairly brown skinned for a ginger. She just checks all the diversity boxes. I wouldn't be surprised if the actress was lesbian or bi cuz they care about that shit too
I mean I've seen biracial people before, including black people with red hair.
This girl is not really that unique and additionally looks like someone bashed her in her face with an ugly stick. On top of that she cannot act her way out of a wet paper bag.
Honestly, I think it's more that she must be servicing Disney directors, producers, and Bob Iger multiple times a week.
Solo was such a forgetable movie that I don´t even know which character that actress played, as for Falcon and Winter Soldier, well I´m happy to say that the only Marvel thing I´ve seen since Endgame is No Way Home and that wasn´t from Disney ☺
right?!?!? I specifically remember in Solo, seeing that ULTRA DRAMATIC REVEAL and thinking "...yeah, so? Who is she??? And why do I care??"
correct, guess what that's called
I love the part where the guy says, 'You gotta be vigilant out here or you die.' then he dies for a gag, not getting any character development.
Also they manage to not see or hear like 12 guys on horseback on a giant, open, flag field.
And now it's being removed from Disney+
“That escalated quickly… I mean that really got out of hand.” 😂
Good!
Ginger Plank of Wood seems to have a cognitive force field around her. She’s so instantly forgettable that seeing her any time is like seeing her for the first time.
Every time I see her I think 'ouch, that's unfortunate'. Often, biracial people get the best of both worlds, but, uh, not her.
The name Ginger Plank of wood is the only thing you can remember her by.
Who? Her?
It's not like she's ever had a decent script to work from.
Ginger who?
That was the most emotionally charged “Go away now” I have ever heard!
The Drinker seems absolutely enraged in that moment. As a fan of the movie in the 80's, and as someone who has become a huge fan of the fantasy genre mostly because of the movie, I totally understand the level of vehemence in that simple line. I wish the writers who keep doing this, would just "go away now" as well.
I actually shook from it I was scared
Thought I was going to get punched then
Felt like when your favorite teacher finally loses it with the class
♫ The Drinker knows you’re watching♩
♩He knows you’re in bad shape ♫
♫ You better go away now,♩
♫ or you just might seal your fate! ♫
♫ You better run fast, you better not try, to embrace the wokeness or thumbs-down this review. ♩
♫ Critical Drinker will always, find you ♫
Happy Halloween- I mean holidays!
Fantasy is a genre Hollywood seldom knows how to make or adapt to screen.
How true.
Unless you have the right creative team
"Using safety scissors to open bags of crisps" pretty much sums up society these days. The Drinker's gone done it again!
I’m convinced that the best thing about these terrible shows and movies are the Critical Drinker reactions they prompt.
Dead fish can't play instruments.
Fucking yes. I look forward far more to the Drinker's reviews on these abominations than the actual abominations.
I never watch any of them - just here for the Drinker lolz. If he says something is good then I mentally flag it for future consumption.
And the pitch meeting from Ryan George
Sounds like this series should have never been made.
My lesbian daughter tried watching Willow with her dad. One episode in and she was done. "Why is everyone gay??" was her response.
Because of the message??
@@malcolmapplet4313Wut message?? ?
I have LGBTQ family members and they all hate "woke garbage". My wife and daughter hate most of the "strong female characters" in todays films and shows.
@@mblair5327 The thing is most "woke garbage" doesn't accurately represent the lives of LGBT+ people and women. Real LGBT+ people and women had to struggle and fight for their place and respect. "woke garbage" turns that respect into a plot point, treating LGBT+ people and women as items/tools for their bad story and only existing for brownie points for their respective corporations. They also often use stereotypes and cliches for "woke garbage" representation e.g. gay men explicitly feminine, bury your gay's trope, women only beating men by having superpowers (I'm looking at you live-action Mulan), men being unrealistically mean to women to support "the message", LGBT+ people being villains etc. Instead of "woke garbage" that misrepresents LGBT+ people and women and their struggles and lives, they should put effort into proper representation instead of forwarding the stereotype that LGBT+ people and women actually like this damaging "representation".
@@mblair5327 for good reason, most strong female characters and woke garbage shows that movie studio corporations make nowadays are as bad as they are because said studio coroporations only care to do the very least when checking off their precious boxes on their diverse marketibility quotas. All they ever seem to do is try to pass off characters built to only be the sum of what their "identities" say they are, and nothing else, no likeable traits unless their perfect, where they either make the little character they have flat or just a little likeable, or in the other case they make them unlikable and flawed so they can call it character progression when they become just a little bit less of an asshole, and all they seem to do is push other people down to seem better, with an emphasis on doing it to men. All that coupled with the fact that they either make them out of a race/gender swapped sloppy seconds version of a popular character from another culture. It's straight up insulting is what it is, it's like they can't even perceive that people aren't just their preferences, that they can't be bothered to think that other races get tired of not having their own original character versions of classic tales, even from their own cultures, like with Ariel, why couldn't they do a story about a mermaid who lives in the Congo river? Why is it always like the only thing they think to do when trying to properly respect the differences between races and cultures is to keep making character from one culture and race into one thats exactly the same but now from the other culture and race, like they act like what's always going to be good enough for people of other races is to see a character that's not from their culture but looks like them, like it's not good enough to have original characters from their cultures, they have to be from different cultures because theirs isn't good enough
You know what I mean?
Also, sorry for the rant, hollywood in general has me irked today with the news of them getting rid of Henry Cavill and pressing forward with that black superman film
"Strong female character, ginger plank of wood, and a group of talent-less diversity hires..." PRICELESS! 🤣
In reference to Madmartigan, the reason Val Kilmer isn't in the show is because he's recovering from throat cancer and has had several operations that've rendered his voice practically useless. So in this case, it's not a bad decision by Disney, it's that the actor in question is incapable to play the role due to poor health and complications from treatment.
im just surprised they did not race-swap his character to be a Japanese transgender lesbian
Well also considering that the queen is also his ex-wife in real life and this is the movie the "fell in love" and now they hate each other... not surprising there too
when The Critical Drinker says "Because this show has to reflect the world we live in today" it's hilarious every time to me 🤣
It doesn't REFLECT the world we live in, though. It PROJECTS the world they want us to live in.
All I can think of when I see guuuurl bosses is Mauler saying "you go girl!" over and over in his Black Widow review.
I prefer nah it'll be fine
I love when he starts doing his laugh too lol
They write their characters how they want young people to be because it is all about destroying Western society and traditional and natural societal roles.
“Thats all I’ve got for today, go away now” has never been said with more disappointment
@Flash bang
Bastard
I'd say anger more than disappointment. I can't remember a drinker review where he was this angry
@@r0w5tortion84 Yea. this go away was pretty harsh, but I don't blame the poor soul for it.
It's time for Disney to just go away now.
They're not even trying anymore. And they don't even care that they're not trying.
I hear more rage. The most disappointment I've heard was in one of the older Star Wars ones.
That "go away now” was specially powerful and intense this time. Thank you, drinker.
Worse than shehulk !
That's one thing I never thought you would say my friend !
And we both thought the studio couldn't possibly get any lower
We both were proven wrong
I spose the challenge now is to make something even worse that willow and break that record too
Tolkien was right about evil never create, only corrupt all the good things into twisted caricatures they made out of it.
Here is the full clip that explains why willow is disaster
czcams.com/video/mCfYi7634rU/video.html
Fr
The Bible says that too before Tolkien did 🙂
whenever someone quotes Tolkien, it's always wrong.
at least google the actual quote, and actually quote the man.
ffs.
Please, stop.
That was the angriest “go away now” yet. The drinker might be done with Disney on a whole new level.
Yeah, that definitely was a "go away now!" that holds a deep, personal grudge and is absolutely, unequivocally done with this shit and is determined to make the one's responsible for it regret it dearly! 😠
That "go away now" came from a place of deep seated anger, and honestly, I feel like I have that exact same tone stuck to the on button nowadays when it comes to things made for "MODERN AUDIENCES"
that was the best ending for this garbage. it sounds like a terrible series
I hope not. I must see the drinker do more Disney reviews.
They're 100 times better than the actual movies.
Honestly I feel that this show might have been the kicker. I almost feel that while the Drinker had valid criticisms for the original movie, it might have been a childhood favorite to him. Thats just the feel of vitriol I get from his "go away now" that kinda matches how I sometimes feel with the shit being pumped out. I just don't care but then there's the shit that hits home for something near and dear.
Congratulations! You made it further than I did before turning it off for good. It' felt like it was written by teenagers for teenagers in a high school drama class. It wasn't just the unrelatable obsessing that means very little in the face of inhalation, or the acting that came across like no one wanted to be there, it was the little things. Like how their cloths always looked bright and laundered while living rough on a hike across the country side; the musical score that lacked the levity of the original; and, the lack of common dark prejudices and social statues that brought importance to the presence of Madmartigan and provided a personal struggle for willow relatable in some way to all ages. It should be mandatory for any adventure writer to maybe go on an adventure and live in the wild for a time, or at least step outside their gilded life to see what a competent adventurer and high stakes life choices looks like. This show would have been much better off for it.
As a HUGE fan of the original Willow movie, I watched the entire first season, and the last two episodes were so cringe I was embarrassed to watch it with my husband. It felt like I was watching a parody of the movie. Bad acting, terrible dialogue, cheesy effects, unlikable characters, and 5 different love stories going on. I was in disbelief at how bad it was, and relieved for it to be over 😂😂
D M ME 👆👆📦📦🧳🧳
I too am a fan of the original for its charming uniqueness and fun adventure. I was excited to see the show until I saw the trailer for the show and that totally killed my curiosity. I had to watch all of Rings of Power with my brother who actually saw nothing wrong with it. Modern television is absolutely down the drain.
Every time the entertainment industry releases a project for 'modern audiences' I grow more thankful that humans have limited lifespans.
All the “modern audience” talk makes me nostalgic for the Dark Ages
I LOVED WILLOW
THIS IS NOT WILLOW
@user-vz4qv8rl1f yeah at least shit was interesting at that time
Brilliant ! that's a great quote.
when 80% the show are intentionally ugly people or lesbians, you know it's going to be terrible
Disney are the only company that consistently makes me feel I've been ripped off when I watch their stuff. For free. That takes some effort guys, well done.
Im really mad there is no more movies for real men to enjoy and how they force to worship fake women characters.
Ikr? Even when you pirate that shit, you want your money back.
@@hiamaraldvaan7221 As much as they try, they can't take the 80s and 90s away from us. It's Christmas time. Time to fire up the ol' Christmas classics, like Die Hard.
@@olafgurke4699 you want your time back.
So 10-12 min of Drinker's video is enough for me to skip this show altogether
Time is the most valuable currency you have. You definitely got ripped off.
Didn't Disney delist this off of Disney+? You know a movie is bad when a Giga-Corp deletes it from their digital library 😂
"Talentless diversity hires" describes the show and 95% of Disney's writing and production staff perfectly.
These drinker videos are actually the only way I take in modern movies and shows these days.
Me too. There's been absolutely nothing released I've cared enough for to climb out of my computer chair.
He is the “let me go first” guy.
you can also watch brandon tenold, his topic is different he goes on cultrashmovies with a little humor.
He is singlehandedly saving millions of our cumulative hours and deserves a drink from all of us for his noble efforts
Yup
It’s gotten to the point now that I don’t even have to watch the actual show anymore to enjoy The Drinker’s surly rants… 👏👏
It will be a shame if hollywood ever goes back to decent writing, because drinker will be reduced to writing simple scripts full of praise instead of these masterfully comical takedowns.
The Drinker watches it so we don't have to. 😏
I really don't even watch movies or shows anymore and love his rants. Also makes me feel like I'm not missing much.
I wouldn't place so much stock in his reviews if he didn't work so hard on making them intelligent, edifying deconstructions. Baby, if I want actual rants that offer no points proving their arguments, there's a ton of mediocre CZcams channels out there I could punish myself with.
We need a way to see the unintentional comedy in these shows without actually having to endure them. Life is a comedy now written by people without a trace of humour. Best to just savour the prime extracts from those bold and noble people who make that sacrifice and endure the whole sorry saga rewritten to correct the past 'incorrect' thinking for us. In the the UK we wait in dread for the latest crop of multi cultural attitude corrected rehashes of Dicken's 'A Christmas Carol' which will surely soon be upon us. Corrected of course by people who know far better.
i felt bad for Graydon throughout the show, he got dragged into danger, almost died, got posesed, got hated for being posesed, learned magic and was finally useful, then he immediatly "died" and they almost forgot about him 10 minutes later.
It's a medieval fantasy and they have a character named GRAYDON. that's all you need to know about the writers of this thing.
How about the old "mentor" guy who got killed almost straight away? He had supposedly been mentoring the kids since they were little and was very close to them, but after getting killed nobody gave a single fuck.
Looking forward to Swiss Family Robinson remake.
One gay dad. One fat mum, all disabled children and a cabin boy who is trans.
All are black and they sailed to colonize England.
"I can smell the writer's room" is a classic drinker line.
Stale, unwashed clams is a very distinct odor.
@@Laneous14 I feel like there should be curry also... stale, unwashed clams and curry.
_"The diarrhoea-splattered toilet bowl of modern entertainment"_ is the most aptly poetic description I've ever heard. Trust the Drinker to give us gems like this. 😆
The Angry Video Game Nerd walked so that Drinker could run.
He's certainly got a way with words 😆
As someone who named my daughter Elora (before the series was announced), I'm horrified. I loved the movie. It was mine and my husband's favourite film growing up. This is just a joke. Could you imagine if this happened to lord of the rings, star wars or any book series with a serious fan following? I simply can't anymore.
Also, where's Val Kilmer? Did he read the script and just say "nope"? I honestly wouldn't blame him.
This has happened to all the franchises you just mentioned🤦♂️
Willow isn't worse than Rings of Power. I made it through Willow. I had to see how bad it was going to get. Also, i was really rooting for the villains in this one.
I seriously laughed everytime he called her " ginger plank of wood" 😝
FRECKLE JESUS!! 🤣🤣
It was even better when he speculated that having 2 redheads n the same movie would destroy the universe.
The ginger singularity that could destroy the universe was what got me 🤣
@@m.redleg252 And he lives in Scotland, and that's full of redheads, right? It's a wonder the universe didn't collapse in on itself already!
The fact that Ginger Plank-O-Wood only ever "happens" in Disney titles is a sure sign that she isn't ever going to legitimately happen LMAO
i hope so!
The ginger plank has got to be one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. God help it when that thing turns 30 🤮🤮🤮
@@MundaneThingsBackwards That was also a bot.
The Disney casting department got an instant hard-on when they saw her.
“Hey Jeff, you know how we always replace red-head characters with black one?”
“Yeah, Bob, I know”
“Well, you’re about to shit”
*shows red-haired black girl*
Lol I prefer Nerdrotic's 'Freckled Jesus' instead! 🤣🤣🤣
Everythime you say "Ginger Plank of Wood", I see Nicole Kidman in my mind's eye.
Wow... and within 8 months... this show has been completely pulled off Disney plus 😂
Goodness. Never heard Critical Drinker be so angry at his go away now. This show had really taken a toll on him.
ask Shad about caravans
honestly, in a year where the concept of art was set back by several decades, even this steaming cesspit really stands out as the biggest pile of flaming trash imaginable. Rings of Power was bad, but Willow is just.... infantile at every level....
Well, he did have to go watch all 3+ hours of "Avatar 2" immediately after. That's enough to make even the most sane of men lose their shit.
@@petriew2018 worse than rings of power???
@@jkfozul2316 yes. it's objectively worse writing than Rings of Power.
Rings of power looks really bad when compared to the source material, but on it's own it's just a convoluted, stuck up, generic fantasy show. Boring and predictable as fuck.
but Willow? Every character, every plot point, every bit of world building is just so incredibly.... dumb.... like, actively insulting the viewer levels of dumb.... it's relentless in how stupid it all is
Ginger plank of wood is exactly the future they have in mind. That's why she's so popular.
Exactly
They write their characters how they want young people to be because it is all about destroying Western society and traditional and natural societal roles.
Tbh I had hoped she was going to be the girl from the movie just so she would matter more and so the party would not be as unbalanced... And then the maid crossed the bridge and I could see what was coming while I hoped it wouldn't...
My thoughts exactly; blending everything everywhere into one amorphous mass until nothing is unique or special ... a bland, tasteless hell of forced homogeniety.
And I'm not talking about the TV shows.
You know an actor sucks when (months after you and your friends watched this video) you still don't know their name and just call them "Ginger plank of wood."
I looked her up. Her name is Erin Kellyman. Not that it matters, but I agree with The Drinker. She's not compelling as an actor, and I have no idea why Disney keeps plugging her into their projects...
That “go away now” actually scared me 😂
You know it's bad when you're nostalgic for the 2010's
It's amazing how things like the Star-Wars prequels and the Star Trek films from the 90s, now seem like "The good old days".
That's just depressing.
I love how I have no intention of ever watching these trashy shows but as soon as the Drinker does a vid I'm here loving every second.
You and me both. Most of what currently passes for entertainment is so terrible, the only value it has to offer is as fodder for CZcams critics to rip apart.
Disney owes the Drinker a debt of gratitude, for it is through his skewering that this show finally manages to have a justification, however small, for its own existence.
Yeah its great, I know what is comming out in the world and see how it all crumbling down. And I have fun.
I thought it was just me
Me too lol
Same here, it's just way more entertaining than these shows would ever be. I'd take 10 minutes with the drinker than 10 hours of shit TV.
The sped up validation footage of Willow basically eating out the Particularly Strong Female Character was hilarious. The only exit it needed was something that pooed at how long winded it was 😂
This video is the only reason i remember willow actually exists
I didn't know it was a thing at all until watching this video just now... and apparently I didn't miss anything lol
This is really freaking sad. Willow was a fun, classic 80s sword and sorcery film. It wasn't anything too groundbreaking, but it was fun, with good effects, a likeable cast of characters, a memorable world and an outstanding soundtrack.
This just spits all over that.
Just depressing what’s happening to our entertainment and our good stuff.
@Chad 007 dont do that shit... people will flag you too
no, it was shit.
Willow was one the first movies I saw in the theater as kid. The new Willow is like a nicely aged milk version of it.
Way to trash my childhood hero😂✌️
My favourite part was when the villains literally cut through the entire kingdom and the army until the royal family showed up to fight them. And the royal family easily fought them all off... even the princess who we learn later was never really trained to fight. No, this isn't a joke about things that didn't happen. This actually happened. The aging queen and the untrained princess are each vastly better fighters than the ENTIRE ARMY.
Ye because they're women silly, women are invincible powerful queens that can each take on approximately 10 large men each without a scratch...didn't you know that?
Not to mention the MASSIVE magical energy shield, that is supposed to be impenetrable and yet the bad guys easily bypassed it "SOMEHOW" AND the one protagonist we saw interact with it was able to effortless walk through it like a thin layer of soapy water...
That’s pretty realistic really. As I remember Elizabeth the second strangled Hitler (once she stopped saluting him), Charles saved the Falklands after the SAS were defeated and William and Harry personally hunted down and killed every member of the taliban. Obviously with the latter 3 being men they were actually just following the Queens orders and relied on her to get them out of trouble on many occasions. But it’s still pretty relatable.
Gawd.......................... 😳😳😴😴, didn't see that coming.... every Disney movie ever..........
I guess chess was a bad game from the start.
It gave them all the wrong ideas.
Warwick was happy for the show but then he saw the turd fest they were turning the show into so he said.
WELP A CHECK IS A CHECK.
I don't know why anyone gets excited for Disney remakes. They have all been bland crap.
Here's the shocker: This Willow was written by Jonathan Kasdan, writer of Solo: A Star Wars Story, and... the upcoming Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Talent and all...
Let me just check out early life….
Just a coincidence
@@Edfiki86 Stop noticing things!
Proof that talent isn't necessarily inheritable.
Jonathan is no Lawrence sadly
@@Edfiki86
Every. Fucking. Time!
I remember Warwick Davis had a show on HBO called Life's too short. And on that show one of the jokes was the possibility of remaking Willow and how ridiculous it would be
I guess that was before he got the check from Disney.
I can't wait for him to bring up "The Top 10 biggest Disney+ flops" on Tenable at some point. That'll be brilliant.
Disney money money to stronq
warwick davis reminds of a football for some reason...
Every once in a while I randomly rewatch that "Liam Neeson wants to do comedy" scene. One of the funniest things Ricky Gervais has ever done
"...long admiring glances with ginger plank of wood." Baaahahahahhahaaaaa!!! 🤣🤣
I think the writing room at Disney is nothing more than a market research team chasing after demographic dollars. So transparent.
When they wrote Kit, you just KNOW the brain-dead writing room was thinking she was super-cool and edgy.
Yep, I am sure the writers room full of 20 something woke cult Feminists thought she was the embodiment of awesome!
'A gender confused angst filled millennial will be fun for audiences! So relatable!'
@@j.rebekah8605 😂 As a millennial, I still found her ass annoying.
@@j.rebekah8605 I bet she's relatable for the people who wrote these series but that's about it.
@@j.rebekah8605millennials are in their 30s and 40s. Need to update your hated generations. I'm a 42 year old millennial. That chick isn't 40
Drinker, every repetition of "strong female character and ginger plank of wood" had me in stiches.
Exactly the same response from me!
Hilarious!!
😂
Same😂😂
I find that actually insulting to call her Plank, because in Ed Edd N Eddy, Plank has way more personality.
And that laugh at 3:26 Epic !!!
@@osmanyousif7849 were talking about real life planks like the ones you can smash your hands through like in karate, not a cartoon.
I dislike that there was no commentary about how absolutely epic that South Asian dude's beard was. You can really just imagine him in a better fantasy show. It's such a shame that they only do diversity to paper up terrible writing, but the actual actors could be doing so much more. That dude really looks the part and you can imagine a South Asian themed fantasy show with him as the lead. All the pieces are there, but they refuse to just make something new and original with these actors and give them a fighting chance at success. Instead they end up shoe-horned into ill-fitting properties and they take the heat when they fail. It's such a waste.
Ginger plank of wood😂😂😂
SEASON GREETINGS🎄YOUR CZcams PROFILE WAS SELECTED 🫵CONTACT ME FOR YOUR REWARD ❤️..
Can we just take a moment to thank TCD for watching all this crap so we don't have to? He has literally saved me dozens of hours of personal tragedy.
To TCD: A heartfelt "Thank you".
czcams.com/video/ZG0faW-LRZU/video.html
Personally, I’m still experiencing that tragedy, even without watching the show. But, perhaps my suffering would’ve been even worse if I had actually watched it.
Yeah dude, thanks for taking the bullet time and again.
@@Kekoapono You've basically got the condensed bitter pill version of what would otherwise have been a large kettle full of shit to slowly slurp down.
I prefer the pill in this case. The agony is the same but at least it steals less of our precious time.
Ya I agree 😉👍
Oh my god Erin Kellyman is in this?! Ahhh I can't wait! She's my favouritist! I love nothing more than watching someone with the same emotionless, dead eyed expression on her face no matter if she's the happiest she's ever been or she's watching a friend die. It's so amazing that the only indication of how she's feeling comes from an amazingly written dialogue where she can say her feelings instead of showing them because that's how people display emotions of course.
[cries in sorrow]
@Trent Hamsley 🤣😂🤔😂🤣😂 I've not seen that font before
I recognized her because of her teeth, not by her face
She was so meh in Solo
Who's that? The ginger one?
To be fair, it seems Madmartigan is absent because of Val Kilmer's terrible health. He had a throat cancer or something like that and couldn't speak normaly, so his absence is understandable.
Angriest "GO AWAY NOW!" to date.
His Dial of Destiny "GO AWAY NOW!' trumps this one.
I am sure the writer's room was saying "yaaas queen" every time they wrote a strong female character line.
The only acceptable use of “yaaass queen” is when Captain Holt says it.
lol
The sheer artistry of the Drinker in calling out the pig swill that's supposed to pass as modern entertainment exceeds the writing capabilities of the entire writing staff on this new show. You, sir, are a wordsmith swordsman.
Drinker is a writer himself, so what you said makes sense.
Ginger Singularity!!! Hahahaha..... she is like a carrot Go11iw0g doll!
I didn't know until recently he's a published author. 10+ novels.
One might say he’s a cunning linguist.
@@stan7816 And about to be a filmmaker. There's a short film project backed via successful kickstarter based on the main character in his novels. It's in pre-production now. Proud backer of this one, very eager to see what he and the team he's working with are able to pull off, unbound by the shackles of (Hollywood) mediocrity.
Hahaha like two red heads in one production would cause a ginger singularity that would destroy the universe.. made me laugh hella hard
Well, The critical drinker you are star, love your straight talking and the deserved put downs, I stumbled across this channel and it's made my night 👏👏
Ellie Bamber (Dove/Elora) actually has red hair, my guess is she was hired first and then Disney's "red headed chosen one" came on board and they had Ellie dye her hair blonde because they didn't have one of those yet. This show is a shining example of what happens when you have to tick off all the boxes of a check list FIRST and then figure out how a story can be made with the results. I think that's how Shakespeare got his start.
Could be a wig, I bet you the show is going to do a dramatic ginger hair reveal ‘omg it’s Alora after all’, while she’s already been revealed as being her in ep2. Truly wouldn’t put it past them to be like this. Mother of god.
Nevermind, she’s blonde at the bafta awards. Absolutely puzzling.
@@Auxius. theses people are hard to track mate :)
the dumbest thing besides the hair is the idea that they were making any kind of sincere effort at hiding who she was. and whoever wrote that into the show forgot that she was a very prescient baby in the movies, being fully aware of everything going on and who she is, according to dialogue from the glowing lady.
holy shit that is so much darker than i thought. they made their 1 other redhead dye her hair. holy shit redheads are getting the Star Wars black character treatment.
From the first words alone, I can seriously feel the anger from his tone. I can really feel how Drinker was holding his temper as he explained the disaster that is Willow. And, it is at the end that he really snapped.
I can understand it - WIllow is one among many 80s films that defined my childhood so I would feel the same way.
This video was one of his most funny videos so I hope he gets angry more often.
Yeah, as I said in another thread: I think that he was genuinely angry this time.
Damn! You felt that one too ehh!?
yeah, he seems actually wrathy in this one
Keep fighting the good fight Drinker. Good stories will prevail. ❤
It’s like the Star Wars sequels all over again