Parentified Child Syndrome: Causes, Symptoms, Impact and Healing - Terri Cole
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- As a child, were you responsible for cleaning the house? Cooking for your siblings? Taking care of an adult because they were unable to care for themselves?
Did the adults in your life expect emotional support from you? Did you mediate between family members?
If so, you may have Parentified Child Syndrome.
In this episode, I am breaking down the two types of child parentification, why it happens, symptoms you may have experienced, and steps to take to begin healing.
Grab the guide for this episode here: www.terricole.com/parentified...
Time Stamps
0:00 - Introduction
2:51 - Instrumental child parentification
3:39 - Emotional child parentification
4:54 - Causes of child parentification
6:03 - Lack of trust + boundaries
7:35 - Symptoms as a child
8:30 - Impact of child parentification
10:23 - Honor your experiences
12:23 - Helpful therapies
13:17 - Prioritizing yourself
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About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
Connect With Me
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Resources
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Insight Timer: insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
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I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
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#terricoleshow #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumahealing
Were you parentified as a child? Did you experience instrumental or emotional parentification? Both? How has this impacted you in adulthood? Share in the comments below, and download the guide for step-by-step ways to heal: www.terricole.com/parentified-child-syndrome-guide
Just in time - thanks Terri🤗🌷 I experienced emotional parentification. I was over there with mum as my dad was emotionally unavailable. Later on I was over there with my friends while I was disconnected from me - no wonder I worked in Public Relations and hold a psychology MA degree. Over the last year, however, I’ve put the focus on me and some friends disappeared. Learnt to express my feelings and needs in all relationships, and am now sitting in a void hoping to find folks that appreciate me as much as I appreciate them. It’s tough right now but am also happy for me - finally, I matter to me🤗✨
I am so happy you were able to reach that point for yourself, and thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️
Yessss! Lack of trust is huge, especially with authorities.
It makes so much sense ❤️
It's amazing that as an adult you can't remember what an adult is sometimes because you have never been celebrated as an adult due to leaving the adults who parentified you, and being around incompetent parents. It gives you this bitter mistrust towards older adults, and it's so important to form your own adult self that you always wanted to be, no matter what you experienced. I get to live the life I have always imagined and I keep forgetting that I am so capable and worthy because many adults were emotional failures in my eyes. It's sort of like, what's the point of trying so hard because I had to overwork myself and that wasn't enough. It really has to be for you and mean something to you.
Thank you for sharing your insight with us ❤️
You have inspired me in so many ways. I first heard of you on Anne and Heather's podcast. I thought....this woman is hitting home with me. I now listen to every utube I can and have both your books. What an amazing, inspiring woman you are. Love what you do. Please don't stop. I wish I could afford your personal sessions ❤
Thank you so much, Carol ❤️ I am so glad you found me via Anne and Heather's pod and I appreciate you sticking with me! ❤️❤️
Thank you, for this. Told my trauma therapist this term, he hadn't heard of it!
Your encouragement is very helpful, I need to get rid of it, the emotional version.
Mum, never taught me practical things, left me helpless. I suppose that was the point..
You're so welcome ❤️ I hope your therapist is able to help you unpack and honor your childhood experiences.
Excelente, fue lo que me pasó en mi infancia. Estoy sanando y cuidando de mí todos los días de las maneras que son mejores para mí. Gracias por hacer visible esta situación que muchos hemos vivido. 🙏
So glad you are taking care of yourself, Gregaria ❤️❤️ That is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves!
I appreciate your work. It has helped get me through some tough times. Thank you 🙏🏾 ❤
Thank you so much for letting me know 💕 I'm glad my work has helped you!
OMG, wow... every word I could relate too...thank you... never heard the word Parentified, but I think that was me you were talking about ;O)
At eleven my mom left, my older brother and dad were broken. My mom was around a few times a year, sorta. My next birthday was forgotten by all my family. Immediately after mom left, I was involved in preparing for the shopping and helping shop, planning meals, making the baked goods, listening to my dad, a troubled-youth councillor, day, keeping the house cozy and clean. Then at 14, looking after my dads second wife for months after school during her mental breakdown. I could go on and on... and on... lol.
Parentified! Never heard that word, but it so resonates. An 'Ah Ha!' moment. Thanks! Your amazing TC!
I am so sorry you were parentified in this way, Kelly 💕 Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Hi Terri! You are the best. Read your book a few years ago and it was a game changers for me. Eternally grateful!
I am so glad to hear that Boundary Boss was helpful for you ❤️
Ive always wondered where my lack of trust comes from. I dont feel like i can let me guard down with anyone. I was parentifed. It all makes sense.
I see you ❤️
All of it ! Terri your the best❤
I appreciate you 💕
Excellent, as always, thank you very much
Thanks for watching and being here, Anna ❤️
Thank you Terri
You're welcome ❤️
Love this episode and the guide with
ideas and helpful treatments. ☺️
Thank you Terri 💞
❤️❤️❤️
I emotionally supported my mom and sometimes on my dad's weekends he had me cut his hang nails even though he was capable of it
Thank-you ❤
You're so welcome ❤️
Terri thanks! Would love to hear about Enmeshment in families if you get the chance! ❤
I've noted it down, thanks for the suggestion 💕
Terri,Thank you for sharing those, is there anyway to get the guide?
I googled the website you provided,submitted your website, and joined your Facebook group,but yet I still can’t find the guide.
Hey there- the links for any guides are always in the description of the video and typically pinned as the first comment (at least, for newer videos!) Here it is: www.terricole.com/parentified-child-syndrome-guide ❤️
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Nah, what’s it when the adult child berates and gaslights and future fakes and isolates the aging mother only for show that he has to be the “parent” I call bullshit!