When doubt creeps in... | Overcoming
VloĆŸit
- Äas pĆidĂĄn 3. 08. 2024
- DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
đŁ 1-1 work inquiry: www.sleepcoach.sk/contact-me/
đ Weekly Newsletter (Sleep Talks Letters): sleeptalks.substack.com/
đ Follow me on Instagram: / sleeptalks.ali
â€ïžâđ©č Read my insomnia recovery story: www.sleepcoach.sk/my-insomnia...
Special thanks to Sarah, Santiago, Gigi, Liza, Anna, Michael, Dragos and Peter for supporting me on Patreon - you are the best!
If you wish to support my work on Patreon too â€ïž: / sleeptalks
What to watch next
What to do at night when you can't sleep: âą What to do at night wh...
Behavioural principle #1 to recover from insomnia: âą Behavioural principle ...
Anxiety about anxiety: âą When insomnia takes a ...
What to read next
Perfectionism and insomnia: www.sleepcoach.sk/perfectioni...
On the âsandstormâ. When you have no idea what to do: www.sleepcoach.sk/sandstorm-d...
3 reasons why we feel worse after a night of good sleep: www.sleepcoach.sk/sleep-anxie...
You are a God sent to many of us. Keep helping keep uploading
âșđ
9:09 brilliant image that explains the perception versus reality. You are so good at explaining this. Thank you Alina. đ
Thank you so much for your videos, they get to the heart of my insomnia better than anything else I have found.
Thank you sooOO MUCHHH MAY GOD BLESS YOU
Thank you for being here đđ
Hi Alina thanks for this it's a very helpful video. I find it hard to stay awake in the evening & fall asleep on the sofa for extended periods because I'm so tired. So I go to bed and then doubt comes in and says you won't sleep now because you have disrupted your sleep drive and I then struggle to sleep. This is super frustrating especially as I had started to sleep better and now I'm back struggling. As you say the brain keeps throwing up these thoughts and it will take time for this to settle down. Expectations are also a big part of It. I realize that I have an idea of what sleep should look like and doubt tells me that I am different and will not be able to overcome insomnia. I suppose it helps to be aware of what is going on and to accept that it will take time..
Thank you for your work...
I get hyper arousal from thinking I won't sleep or being exhausted. And that my day will be ruined & I'll feel helpless again. I slept okay yesterday but today was scared of a bad night so now its almost 8am & haven't slept yet.
Can you please address these intrusive thoughts like
1- Iâm an overly anxious person and so Iâll never be able to recover
2- People have had bad experiences and they apply to me
3- Hyperarousal will never end
4- I wonât be able to sleep for a long stretch of days
yes, I can share my thoughts on this topic in one of my next videos. Thanks for the tip!
Thank you Alina. Just want to share my experience today.
Last night was not a good one. Felt some tiredness during the day. But that was ok. When returned home from work, I managed to get some rest on bed. Once I got to bed during the afternoon, I felt palpitations and entered the hyperarousal mode.
Although I really wanted to have a nap..I could not. Very frustrating. Automatically, my brain told me: "if the hyperarousal prevented you to take a nap during the afternoon, so it will do the same this night and every night."
This thought is a part of the automatic safety system? I do not have to engage with it. Although a very triggering thought.
Yes same as mine also the brain: "If engaging to a anxious thoughts keeps you in hyperarousal so what is difference in engaging with a thought and having anxious thoughts?"
What a bullshit brain, it always question your approach and understanding.
Hi Peace! That is automatic and nothing unusual. Treating it as autopilot can help us not to fall for it
@@FearlessSleep Thanks Ma'am Alina, your free teachings helps me with my anxiety and insomnia you're a blessings to us. âš
Glad to read this đ
Alina thanks for your good work. Now my effortless method turned out to be an effort. I slept well for three days but it turned out to be an effort. How do I arrive to true peace??? Our brain indeed cannot be manipulated! I have been sleepy for 10hrs but yet couldn't sleep!
Thanks Alina,
I really love this video! But really give me a great idea to be better sleeper (hopefully!). But I have a question which still bothers me about doubts:
I let go my control when Iâm facing the fear of being awake but trying to switch my focus to a tv program, then doubt come right away telling me Iâm trying to run away from my fear!!!!! How can I solve this problem because I cannot focus on the tv program and the fear of being awake at the same time!
Thanks!
I have a hard time with thisâŠ.itâs been four months of severe insomnia and I feel hopeless
So the doubt that comes up my mind is that there are so many people who havenât recovered. So many celebrities whoâre still struggling with insomnia. The doubt that Iâve understood everything and applied everything but itâs not happening although I know it takes time and itâs not an overnight process. How do I tackle this?
It's understandable that the brain comes up with the worst fears even and tries to convince us that it isn't possible. But the truth is no one can predict or control the future, and what the brain is seeking - is the reassurance which it might not always get.
I chased reassurance for a long time too and it was holding me back. It turned out it wasn't enough to keep debunking every fear it came up with, because once I would convince it of one thing, it would come up with the next one and then the next one and this can go on until we start to look at the patterns rather than the content of each thought.
It is helpful to start noticing the thinking patterns instead of trying to reassure the brain of every single fearful thought. Awareness of that automatic process can help us gradually disengage with it.
I am experiencing doubt now as I had a cold and have been taking cold meds at night to breathe. Now that Iâm getting better Iâm doubting needing meds again. Iâm doing my best to tell myself âwho cares! We slept fine before with no cold meds! We will be okâ. It makes me hyper aroused about 5 hours even before bed! Am I doing this thought wrong?
I started crying at 6:15
Yes. Powerful stuff. Both those awful fears when we feel helpless and the true path out we are hearing here. Hope you are doing better. Still trying to tip the scales in the right direction here :) am getting there really but v tough indeed
How do I get past my intrusive thoughts? Iâve read horrible experiences of people with insomnia and now I feel like itâll all happen to me. How do I break free from this vicious cycle? Weâve been conditioned to believe that our thoughts as in the law of attraction works so how do I challenge my negative thoughts before they become my reality?
Help.
Interesting. Mine is a doubt that I canât sleep in any other position than my preferred sleep position I initially fall asleep in. When I wake up wide awake and am uncomfortably Iâll switch my neck another way to be more comfy but then Iâll say, Iâll never be able to sleep this way and then the tossing and turning continues through the night. I guess if sleep is going to come, it will come in a diff position? And if itâs just not there, itâs not there and to Just accept and avoid tossing and turning?
Same here. So hard.
Alina you are so beautiful and calm voice gives so much relief. Thanks so much.
@@jassik9063 thank you âș
hi Lisa, Yeah, seems like the story the brain tells us about not being able to sleep in other positions is what creates hyperarousal that results in tossing and turning. In reality, while some positions are more comfortable for us than others, a certain position doesn't have the power to control sleep, it's what we think of it that stands in the way. That said, you are free to search for a comfortable position, just know that it is not what makes sleep "obedient"
That makes total sense. So shifting positions in the night is not necessarily tossing/turning? So it would be acceptable to Turn over after waking and not getting back to sleep quickly? If I do turn over to rest, and I donât get to sleep, itâs ok to give it sometime and then gently turn back to my normal position? Iâm afraid to toss/turn and signal to the brain struggle
Hi alina, if our mind has a habit to put before us all sorts and worst case scenario, we can make ourself understand being educative that thats what mind actually made up for. Our surival.
But when will mind get convince that sleep will happen?
Sleep is passive as you said. There is never a gaurantee for that. Then considering this how will our mind accept this?
It happens with the experience. The mind sees that no matter how hard it tried to protect you a)itâs efforts were always futile and b) sleep happened anyway sooner or later. Eventually the brain surrenders and leaves you alone. But we can help it by gently nudging it with education, a bit of exposure and self-compassion. Hope this makes sense!
@@FearlessSleep If that is true, why hasn't hugo or leighton recovered? They both have all the education, and have all the self compassion in the world. Yet insomnia keeps coming back to them. They get better for a little bit and then insomnia always seems to return for them. I mention those two because they are both decades deep in in. Why hasn't their brains surrendered? Will their brain ever surrender?
I think it is unfair to judge Hugo's or Leighton's journeys and come to assumptions without directly talking to them. How do you know how they are doing?
Why one reaches that place of no struggle in 6 month and another in two years? I donât know. Personal circumstances, how deep the fear is, etc. What I know is that when wakefulness isnât perceived as a threat, sleep resumes. Now, the path to that isnât mechanical: do this 50 times and in one month you will sleep. Never works like that, at least I have never seen. There is no timeline and I have never offered a timeline people should strive for. I do know that education and compassion facilitate that shift but are not the mean to an end, because each person should find what works for them. The way how person handles the knowledge is their responsibility and their journey.
@@FearlessSleep I just asked because you said that "the brain eventually surrenders". Their brains haven't surrendered yet and I'm still a little confused because what if theirs brains never surrender.
I know Hugo from the slack forum, he spoke all about his insomnia in great detail, often. How his insomnia was very very severe, sometimes he would get a little relief but Insomnia would always return. Why is that, here you have someone sooo optimistic and following exactly what Daniel says will bring someone to immunity, but it didn't for him. He went on to elaborate on how his insomnia had burnt his adrenaline reserves, causing legitimate burn out. I didn't think insomnia could hurt you? He spoke about how he thought he was recovered or recovering because he was finally sleeping again, but the problem was...he was sleeping too much. His body from years of grueling insomnia was just worn out. He couldn't interact properly with his family. He said that he went from one hell to another. Then his insomnia returned AGAIN, and it has been the same since. Lots of downs with a few ups here and there.
Leighton I have not spoken with privately but I have a few colleagues that speak with him regularly, and unfortunately his brain hasn't surrendered yet either. Even though he did two success stories saying he was recovered. One on Trevors channel (Who is oddly enough not even a sleep coach any longer, he deleted everything, which doesn't surprise me I went through his program and let me just say, he and it wasn't good. I think I counted 28 typos in his "curriculum".), and one on Daniels channel. I found it funny that when I went through Daniels Insomnia to Immunity program (unsuccessfully mind you ), Daniel used a video of Leighton as a testimony...which isn't accurate at all. I will see if I can reach out to him personally.
So I know you were being snarky with that "How do you know how they are doing?" comment what you don't realize is I DO know how they're doing. Maybe you could have Hugo on as a guest for him to tell this story himself? He frequents your comments, so I think it would be nice to hear from him. That's if he will be 100% honest and transparent.
I am asking you politely not to delete this comment. The more you delete, the more suspicious you make you and Daniel look. Like you're hiding something. If you do choose to delete this, don't worry I am compiling all these messages I post and messages with past guests. They will all be released in great detail.
Hi ryan, I don't delete any messages, so you are free to resubmit them if you can't find them after being posted (sometimes youtube does that with some accounts, especially new ones or anonymous) - I am open to hear constructive criticism. I won't however tolerate any rude and attacking tone - this space is for people to learn and feel safe. You are more than welcome to ask questions to understand better some aspects. If this is something that doesn't resonate with you - you are free to walk away. As I said in the previous message - I can't tell you why each person's timeline looks the way it is and since we can't control sleep - there is no way to make that journey controllable. There are people who left the struggle sooner, some find it more challenging - we are all different and there are no guarantees. I don't really know what you want to hear, but I hope it made sense