Jordan Peterson - How to Know You're Being Authentic Or Fake
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- čas přidán 18. 09. 2019
- Jordan Peterson - How to Know You're Being Authentic Or Fake
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• 2014 Personality Lectu...
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are you blocking a water mark in the bottom left? :/
Hi sir first you should must properly about me than speak against I have much words
I don't Care who are and what kinds of degrees having political, religious leader or ,prof maybe part of enemy who they wanna that countries must destroy through this in this sins
I don't wanna your intention because I don't have any benfithes for it
Bye
Being authentic is painful. You’ll especially know that you were being authentic when it hurts BAD when criticized for the things you were authentic about.
Never stop being you
When you’re authentic you attract the right people on your path and lose the wrong ones... It hurts but it for your own good :)
Man, that’s the story of being an autistic person. I can agree. Grew up hearing and realising that being honest and truthful *isn’t* actually what most people want. I know the difference between being honest and just being an asshole, so it wasn’t that. Then I started unconsciously masking for most of my entire life, as my autistic traits weren’t usually well-received. It caused many years of feeling no real stable sense-of-self because of living in a predominantly neurotypical world with standards that I often could not meet, nor care to. Now people wonder why certain things like criticism can hurt so bad for those that are very sensitive and were always picked on. Funny world of double-standards we live in.
Very very true. My older sister used to ask me why can't I be normal? And my brother would call me weird.
Lol no when critique hurts you you got a problem xD
Being rejected for who you are is better rather than being accepted for who you are not.
it hurts until you stop caring about what other people think. you suffer when you are authentic because people are not used to authenticity and they judge, but when you stop caring about it, it stops hurting. You just don't care if people point fingers at you. continue to be authentic and you will see how people will start to respect you for your attitude. be sure of who you are and everything will change
I was raised by a narcissist, which basically taught me to be inauthentic because you're constantly trying to find the "right" answer instead of the true one. It been both hard and gratifying to figure out what I actually think and then learn to say it.
I'm sorry you had to grow up that way, thats really messed up that you had to find the "right" answer instead of the true one. It's double-layered which could easily lead to manipulation because they could be manipulating without ever giving you the real answer (what is true). I also have difficulty conveying my thoughts so the other person understands while staying true to myself.
Facts. Beleive on Jesus and read his word and read Ezekiel 34 and he’ll heal u
BRO YOU ARE SO RIGHT
Exactly the same feeling for me! It is a journey, good luck to us. We deserve to know what we think and connect to our own opinions
By the end you will have sifted all the gold of yourself out of the mountain of lies that were never you. It's been my life's work and I have to say in the end it becomes a blessing, because you will come to know yourself in a way that is absolutely priceless. Sending you love on your journey. You are not alone. It's a formidable task and I applaud you for not giving in and running away. You are worth finding and shining!
Oh my word, imagine having a teacher like him for a whole semester, close up like that. Truly a life changing experience.
the problem is that university includes learning a lot of dry boring material and knowledge as well. Most of the time is spent understanding and doing research, dealing with statistics, memorising numbers, understanding the diagnostic test parameters, etc. This is, unfortunately, part of and the bulk of becoming a competent professional. What you see on youtube are just small interesting bits that are cut/pasted to answer specific "life" and "pop culture" questions. The psychology degree and programme is nothing like a compilation of highlights like what you see on TV (youtube), Ted Talks, etc.
@@ostrichhq9983TRUE Sybil Francis PhD professor of clinical.psychology
@@ostrichhq9983 yeah research and statstistics and doing stuff the factual way not the fun way how horrible
@@ostrichhq9983 Exactly. Most of my psych classes were replete with clinical case studies and analyses-along with statistics, etc. They were so mind numbingly boring that I changed my major.
"Who the hell wants to spend an entire career chasing this kind of crap?" That was my main question in my sophomore year, because the answer was "Not me!"
Absolutely, thankfully Peterson uploaded ALL his full lectures to his own youtube channel, so we can get a sense of what that would be like.
I've been being inauthentic most of my life. I'm very introverted and don't like social situations. I don't find it hard to be social per se but I find myself mirroring other people's personalities rather than being myself because it's easier to make conversation with people when I match their level of frequency.
I will copy their tone of voice, inflections, body posture, and gestures. When I was younger and going to school this skill was very useful when needing to interact with a large group of people on a daily basis, but now that I'm older and I'm more in control of what social settings I decide to participate in, I want to be more authentic so that I attract people in my life where I can be more myself. When I find myself being inauthentic I pause and stay silent. I'd rather say very little and have my words be a reflection of myself than to say a lot and have my words be hollow.
EDIT: Wow, thanks guys I had no idea that a lot of other people felt like me! I'm glad I'm not alone!
Same! Also I am very analytical. So I realized whilst in lockdown that I usually analyze people before I get to know them. And sometimes I would subconsciously be someone that they would find “interesting”. Honestly I am going to try to put an end to this
💯💜
I'm reminding myself of the paraphrsed churchill quote I can't be fucked looking up 'if you have no enemies, you haven't been true to yourself'.
Life is short. Life is about self discovery and self expression, not about being a people pleaser.
Not everyone will appreciate you - but nor do you appreciate everyone you meet.
However it seems that the older I get the gratification of being congruent with myself exceeds that of being socially accepted
INFJ 😉 this is what we do. It's authentic for us.
@@zentient8840 Ha, so funny you say that! I actually am an INFJ. 😄
If more people learned this stuff, they would be less likely to be 'owned' by ideologies. This, in turn, would improve the health of society and the entire world at large.
Some of us are still stuck with this knowledge, knowing that we can’t be ourselves without being outcasted by family and friends, so we keep pretending..
Strongly agreed
@@Michael-px4oj Dear unknown friend, if you truly live in a dictatorship, you are in a very difficult situation, and we must feel deeply for you. Then it becomes very important that you truly think through every step. You must somehow wait and prepare for greater freedom to come. Do not be foolish and don't take too big risks. See what you can do within the system. Keep pretending till you are safe to show your true colors. Is there a way to educate yourself in some respect that could be of use, later. In arts, sport, agriculture, history, sciences, household - start small and unawares... by and by you will see a wider picture and maybe more possibilities. I wish you very much luck, patience, and not too much courage. A warrior knows when to lie low!
Ok Archer from fate stay night if u dont know him look up archer fate stay night ideals..he will resonate with ya😂
@Kyle Fuller Thank you, friend! You have great compassion! I myself live in a country and in a family and church that have become ever more tolerant and freer. But many live not, and cannot speak and act freely. It can be very dangerous to try to escape from a tyrannical leadership, father or husband. One has to be cautious. It is a totally different situation than when you ARE free and just want to gain status by being a pleaser. I wish all oppressed the best possible future!
*The feeling of being authentic like a sixth sense*
2:17 How do you know if you're not authentic?
You know you're saying something inauthentic when it makes you feel weak.
2:59 How to fix it?
Pay close attention to what you feel. When you feel weak, stop talking and change your train of thought (look for other words, knowledge, memories and focus on other things perhaps more positive and present at the moment).
3:24 How do you realize that weakness?
You feel that you are stepping on the wrong foot or on a ground that does not support you well, and you feel that you are betraying yourself.
5:04 Attention over intellect
The most common mistake among intelligent people is to identify with their intellect. You are more than your ability to think and speak. The intellect is subservient to attention because attention is what teaches the intellect.
Thank youu!
Thanks for explaining it in simple words Aldo that makes sense 👍
Why does some professors use ornamental words to say their thought ,can't they keep it simple if they want to send the message across to their larger audience ? 🤔
What an amazingly perceptive set of statements ... extremely useful. Thank you.
I've never heard anything original or brilliant from this guy but he's always got a bunch of followers acting like he's a great leader. Sigh I don't understand it.
"Clean your room" is taken as great wisdom ffs. JP is fake and a liar; he shouldn't be telling others how to be authentic.
"You know you're saying something inauthentic when it makes you feel weak." - I do not feel that at all or I do not know what is he talking about? Could you give more clues on that?
He's spot on about the self betrayal feeling. I've been a people pleaser my whole life and have found myself feeling internally uneasy when talking about politics a certain way to be diplomatic or down playing my spiritual beliefs, for example.
You're not alone. I think most of us hide our true self and beliefs out of fear that others will be bothered or dislike us.
This is accurate. Many people do this. It actually takes a tremendous amount of bravery to be authentic. I’ve been working towards being more authentic
I do this too
I used to feel the exact same way. Something that helped me significantly, was to first identify why I felt the way i did. Ask youself, why do I avoid social conflict? The answer might be because you're afraid of it. Now ask, what makes me afraid? If you continously break down the questions you present yourself, you will eventually find a practically useful answer.
This isn't always a bad thing. I'm just trying to ease my way out of being a people pleaser, but being diplomatic is by no means a bad trait in my opinion. Just don't allow being diplomatic to affect the behaviors and values you live by. Bring diplomatic can help you be really good at conflict resolution, especially when you yourself aren't a party in the conflict.
Jordan "I've thought about this for a long time" Peterson
if he is so correct why he is suffering so much? Why so dark?
@@paulb7207
Being aware of something and learning to mitigate it are 2 very different things. Jordan Peterson is human. He never claimed being perfect.
@@paulb7207 What do those have to do with each other?
So, hypothetically, if he were to say something like, "Life is suffering", then that means that if he doesn't suffer then he's wrong... because well obviously he's not suffering. But on the flip side (I guess according to you), if he does suffer then that means he must not be right.
@@paulb7207 Yeah, life IS suffering. He's just articulating it.
@@danielsfbay Let me by cynical: he is living it. Not like most of us. I don't trust economists who are broke, doctors who has been sick for years, and psychologists who are crazy depressed and can't help themselves. The first thing you need to do if you digged yourself into a deep hole is to stop digging. After thinking about it for a while I came to conclusion what I find not helpful with this guy: he can't relax. For a fucking second. It's always about trying hard. Fuck that. People like that are never happy. Or satisified. His last drama? When he almost died from overdosing some crazy drugs? Shit, stay away from me shrink! On the other hand: I love the guy. I really do. I listened to him *a lot* between anyone even heard of him. Logically, scientifically, he's right to me 100%. I love it! The way he articulates himself is just out of this planet. But if you can't just relax, sit and relax, and it's so visible with him he apparantly can't. It's always something. I mean, look, Trump, I don't love. But he's also kind of a person that can't just stop thinking, tinkering, and doing stuff. All his life. But you know what? He can have a great time! You can see it. This dude knows how to have fun. How to enjoy and affirmate and love life! He really does. Peterson doesn't. He's, I don't, why so serious. Like it was visible too in the dicussion he had with Zizek. Zizek can have distance to things and to himself and others. He can poke around with ideas. For Peterson it's not possible. So anal. Painfully anal. My layman analysis says that's the root of his depression. Let him go have fun night in town with other dude, go to a strip club, do some crazy shit. He would be too correct for that. And that's incorrect. That's why he suffers. In my cheap layman analysis/view.
This is exactly the challenge when creating art. You’re exposing yourself and that’s scary.
That's why I hate what postmodernism is doing to art. People are just trying to figure out if the author or artist is a sexist, homophobe, racist or whatever. It's such a disgusting way to treat art, and it destroys art that hasn't even been created yet because it makes people afraid to do art.
My wife is an artist, specializes in oil paintings, AND she has ADD which means she is particularly vulnerable to rejection. She puts herself out there anyway. She's got a ways to go in self-confidence still, but her persistence is extraordinary.
dont be. what are people gonna do? criticize you? FUCK THEM. my belief in life is this "as long as you dont touch me physically, fuck your thoughts I say what I want to say cuz that's more authentic."
@@bbaattttlleemmooddee dolt
@@ij1376 I'll bet her art is extraordinary as well.
Being authentic is being able to say the things most people have a difficult time being able to say. Expressing deep emotion and spiritual intelligence is not an easy thing to do.
But still you need wisdom to know when to say what to whom.
@@karstenburger9031that’s really good to add
Indeed agreed
I’m fluent at this, to the point where it’s negatively affecting relationships with others so im working on it.
You can fabricate your own emotions sometimes though. It gets a bit more complicated if that happens
What is most discouraging is when you are authentic to inauthentic people and they hate you for it.
They can not value what they don't have!
why do seek approval from fools? :)
8:30 when you expose your true, original self and get negative feedback from the outside world, don't be quick to pull yourself back in, understand that you may be completely correct and the world is only pushing back bc your expression of truth is a threat to their false conception of reality.
Spot on.
In my experience more often than not this is exactly the case.
Won.der.ful!!!
Having said that, it's easier said than done to do. You have to get over your need to be liked
@@kieransimpson4965 True. Some seem to never achieve this.
Even being psychologist and intellectual to me he seems more of a philosopher and spiritual man. I admire him.
I'm so grateful that I ve Jordan Peterson to listen to in these crazy times.
Gods teacher...
Freud, Jung, Nietzsche etc. were not only psychologists but also philosophers, so they are really close together in a thematic sense :)
Pretty much all the same...you can't have one without the other.
@@TrueBark are you unironically comparing these revered philosophers to Jordan fucking Peterson
I was once asked by a group of girls in my class to participate in a birthday video thing for one of their friends who I knew but wasn’t particularly close with. They asked and I replied no in front of them. To my surprise, they were shocked, some laughed and one asked me why not… I explained that she wasn’t my friend and I didn’t think it was my place to take part in something that should be memorable for her. One person understood and the rest laughed again and totally missed the point. Later on the birthday girl unfollowed me on social media 😅. I’m glad I was authentic to myself.
Keepin it 100
Good! That's one more fake person removed from your life. I only have honest and good friends; I only have 2 friends.
@@charlesbell5500I have no friends 😂
@@ranithoi6567 Well that's not necessarily a bad thing! It's only bad if you want friends. But it's difficult for me to trust myself, so it's almost impossible to trust other people. It's best to focus on your career and what you want to do, and the right people will come into your life when you're doing that.
@@charlesbell5500 Thank you for sharing your thoughts right now I am facing fake people around me who pretend to be good when they are in need, not only that they don't want me to be more smart or confident in class that's why I stay away from them and trying to focus on myself.
I’ve been in therapy for anxiety for years. Turns out I didn’t have an anxiety problem. I had an authenticity problem. That churning feeling in my intuition was telling me that I was living a life that was wrong for me - not that there was anything wrong *with* me. I grew up with an aggressive and cruel narcissistic mother and abandoning father. I learned to comply no matter what to feel safe. But my true feelings never disappeared. They were still there trying to be heard all this time. And the anxiety was my body warning me that I was trying as hard as I could to NOT live authentically.
soo relatable
Wow, that was deep and has really helped me. Thank you.
So you are a truth teller trying to not tell the truth to be safe in an Evil family system. Great revelation.
that's amazing! good work.
❤
Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
What is that from?
@@deezer161 the idiot, i think...?
@@MrEvldreamr thanks
@@robertimmanuel577 I think it's the Idiot anyways, even if I'm incorrect it's still a really good book about relationships. Tbh all of Dostoevsky's books are great.
Thank you for posting this!
I love how mad the class gets when he confuses Bilbo and Frodo hahaha
@thespACEchannel yeah, too bad they're not as smart as you
@@TheNIKOLASRBIN god why could I not have been born thespACEChanel
Bunch of losers were woken up when he said that
@@Itssidaaa they've got money, friends in high places and a tendency to be indoctrinated easily?
@@Itssidaaa I was generalizing the result of those in "higher education"
I rather be hated for who I am, than to be loved for who I’m not.
Unfortunately the majority of people do not care whether you are being authentic or not. They’d rather surround themselves with people who agree with everything they say, than to deal with someone who challenges their views.
@@hematophria3295 then the majority of people need to learn how to value authenticity 😉 it would also free them from the burden to pretend they are someone who they are not.
Thankfully I can choose my friends and we accept each other they way we are. 🥰
I sense some cliche here...
Kurt kobain
I have been authentic all my life. It sure as hell doesn't make me popular. However, I am very, very happy with myself and am grateful I do not fall into the sheeple category.
I have no qualms in disconnecting with those who do not honor my boundaries. Family or not, there are no exceptions.
I strongly feel this enriches myself on a very deep level, and I love it. It feels good.
Just be careful not to take it too far, there’s a thin line between maintaining integrity and being extreme
@minimunk7 The only thin lines are those that others cross. My boundaries are established for the well-being of myself, not others.
That includes people such as yourself.
@@mbh114 how about asking a question before making assumptions? I made that comment in your best interest but whatever.
No lol, you can maintain integrity without taking it to the extreme was my point. Like cutting people off after 1 mistake without talking to them about it. Presuming they didn’t know about it.
You’re right, the boundaries you set are for yourself. I was just tryna point out that those same boundaries may burn you in the long run. Emphasis on may
@minimunk7 You make assumptions and give unwanted advice.
@@mbh114 not here, and ok. Let’s end it here then shall we
"You are not your thoughts."
Descartes would shiver 😂
@@Matoro69 Descartes is to Hobbe's as Karl Marx was to Lenin. Satan is a spineless being.
Have you read "the untethered soul"?
@@Spl1nter699 I'm sorry, but I don't understand. Your statement is the direct opposite of Descartes' statement. How does the Marx to Lenin comparison fit? I thought Marx ideology was Lenin's inspiration?
you're right my misunderstanding had him lumped in with the empiricists.
This man has an amazing ability to put into words feelings I would have spent a lifetime trying to understand.
A lifetime ?
I think you could get there if you really wanted to
@@justlove6832 I had no concept of introspective thought to this degree until I heard Jordan peterson talk.
@@coryulrich6489 i wholeheartedly agree
If you like speakers, Alan Watts is a great additional entry point into introspection. Gabor mate for self-compassion. And Terrence McKenna for wild, imaginative, and verbose abstraction (keeping up with him can be difficult).
It's liberating when you become self aware, and also when you learn your personal super power is your vulnerability.
A life long lesson for me, to be able to express your true thoughts to represent your spirit/soul/whatever you want to describe it as.
So many times I've betrayed myself, and it was a mistake for many many years.
Uh, you said exactly what I am going through and realize what mistakes I made with this way of thinking.
I always thought being vulnerable and showing vulnerability was a bad thing, but being honest about it to the world makes you more consciousness about them and gives you a higher chance to correct, so to speak your vulnerabilities.
What an articulate and gently encouraging way to say *you have value and are worth being seen and heard.*
Not necessarily. The greatest criminals are very authentic.
@@claudiamanta1943you mean inauthentic? Narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths are incapable of being genuine and authentic as they lack all self inquisition and introspection. A vast majority of the greatest criminals fall under these types of diagnostic criteria.
"Attention is greater than intellect" thats deep
Attention teaches intellect ;)
This hits different for a person with ADHD😅.
Our inauthenticity derives from a place within us that fears rejection from our peers. Even rejection from complete strangers. And so we become who we think we need to be in order to fit in. In order to belong. Then we live much of our lives going against the grain of our own soul. Of our own unique and individual truth. And so we suffer. And those around us suffer. That’s when stress and anxiety show up. That’s when depression rears it’s ugly head. Repression, suppression, and oppression = depression. And so the whole world lives as who they are not. Until that no longer works for them. Things change when our spirit has had enough. And that’s when we fall back into our truth. Our authenticity. It’s our darkness that gifts us our light. It’s our suffering that awakens the soul. ❤️
Oh thank you. I need to hear what you have said. I have to "copy and paste" because this is the kind of thing we - I, slip away from. Learning is a process of repetition until you really get it. I get it; I lose it.
Jesus Christ is the only way - I used to channel spirit guides but they were demons not benevolent astral entities ! Do not be deceived - I used to channel, chakra and third eye mediditarions and was super into astrology - let me tell you ! Jesus is the only way!!
Thank you for sharing this!
Story of my life. I'm not exactly a physically imposing figure, particularly lawyerly in my speech, or predisposed to memory - bugger, I've even been given the ultimate loser combination of ASD and ADHD. An entire family of moody women and tyrannical men did not help matters, so there goes my foundation. Covert narcissism is the only option for some people, and our existence is proof of its necessity... but let me share an old proverb that gives me some kind of hope, no matter how twisted:
"The child that is rejected by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."
Absolutely lovely put! I needed to see that!
"Attention is what teaches intellect"👆🏾
I am so utterly inbarassed and shamed about my life, I was a fake all my life. Thank you Mr. Peterson, much respect to you. Now I have to begin my life again at 69 years of age. It's a huge tremendous feeling to finally to have admitted to the truth. Thank you Jesus for such a person as Mr. Peterson.
thats awkward
Hey holly dont listen to this fucker below u and do everything to make sure u live best life for everyone, good luck
Just because you weren't authentic doesn't mean you were a fake, maybe you still followed your heart at times ❤
@@csupor1046nope…that’s humility…. You’re feeling awkward maybe? But this individual is feeling liberated likely.
We are all a product of our environment. Many people leave a fake life because that’s what’s “normal”
How great that you’re awakened!
this is so true...I do it all the time...I say something then realize I was speaking to fill the air only and it was all bullshit, instantly making me feel inauthentic and weak
What do you do when you realise this?
same man, i need to cut that shit out pronto
I do that way too much especially bcuz I’m used to being the center of attention
@@bloodybaphomet4165 i know what you're saying. When im in a good mood i can cope with filling the air and in a way being the clown of a group of people. But whem im in a depressed mood of a feew weeks i cant seem to say anything or listen to anyone.
With out the filler conversion would of be 30sec long. Sometimes that rambling will open up more opertunites
When you bring your own unique experience and contemplation to an idea, you make it more authentic.
Thanks, Really needed to hear this.! ❤️
Then when others disagree, some people say "you're denying my lived experience"
Such as when you cover a song
Ideas can be really complicated. A unique perspective is what complicated ideas need to make them more whole or less or more complicated.
That depends on the idea
This speaks to me on a very deep and terrifying level. I have begun to realize that I hide behind phrases, ideas, and opinions I learned from others in order to protect myself from responsibility, from shame, scorn, or to seem likeable and intelligent. Lately, I have been pushing myself to be more honest because I sensed something was inauthentic about me
And the result has been hurting people who had built their own idea of who I was. Not meaning any harm I crumble things around me simply by being myself. When the walls come down not everyone can handle your raw honesty. And you're naked with no defense
There is a reason we hide behind these walls of inauthenticity. Real responsibility, real accountability, true vulnerability and humility; this stuff is scary for the average person.
But I must endure for the good of myself and others in the long run
Very relatable
We all need authentic ppl around us! O.K. it will be hard initially, but once ppl realize you are authentic, the false friends will drop off & the real friends/family will be very appreciative 🥰😽Not nearly as hard as you think! "Stepping up" makes you feel good - for the most part- & sets an example for others to follow. ❤
Thank you for articulating the thoughts that I wasn’t able to.
This sharing has helped me and to put things in perspective as so am I , learning to know myself.
@@celestiallydivinesame here, this guy did a really good job
It’s hard to be both yourself and be nice and polite at the same time. Or be yourself and not hurt someone else feeling.
Exactly, when i be myself and am no longer a people pleaser - I have less of a filter.
It's hard, but I find it's easier to navigate than being a people pleaser. Maybe you can be true to yourself with your ideas and feelings etc. but just always carry a pleasant tone and body language, maybe it will cause less offence because then they feel less threatened by your friendly presence but understand you're just who you are, humans aren't that simple though haha
This is one of the most practical pieces of advice from Peterson. During my teens, I noticed that (1) I said a lot of things just to impress others and (2) I used to tell jokes constantly, without "reading" the social environment to see if it was an appropriate occasion. Self regulation + observation really helped me to develop a better version of myself
It's kind of like mindfulness
@@wesleyclark8586 that's exactly what i thought. I will try to pay more attention to what i say to see if it is really me, mine or myself.
As a teen, I realized that I've been doing this a lot recently as well. Right now I'm trying to take a step back and not talk too much and all that (I've implemented it a little bit and I must say it's working pretty well so far)
I would be so petrified to turn in an essay to Peterson 😂
Yes, he might tell you something that opens your mind up to yourself and your world, letting go of some delusions and bad habits. Yes that would feel petrifying for a bad man :)
Crank Yanker is referring here to the _other_ petrified: once more into the breeches for another tremulous tug.
Wow Bucko, this essay is garbage and your IQ is probably bottom 25th percentile.
Omg me too. He’d rip it up, throw it’s in my face and tell me it was complete garbage 🤣
I’d still nod and thank him for the feedback though.
Fk em. Dude is wearing a mask just like all of us. Quiet your mind and you'll hear it in the info he reveals. A person's biggest fear is admitting they are enough! Jordan knows this too well and that is part of his mask. You have all the answers. Just trust yourself. Other people can't tell you who you are or what you're capable of! Or how you "should" think and act. You know.
Wow. It’s amazing how he puts into words something that were so consciously unconscious of yet it happens literally in every conversation to everyone of us, the giving in to clichés in order to hide our true thoughts and emotions.
I call it the "emotional GPS", which tells you very directly and intuitively, if what you're doing comes out of your body and therefore your authentic self, or if you're pretending.
I teared up listening to this..
I’m going through the process he’s talking about, the changing from “being/having someone else’s thoughts” to actually being myself. I’m not there yet of course but i couldn’t believe the timing of hearing JP saying this when i only started to actually test the waters of being myself.. I’m 25 years old in 4 days and i feel like i missed on a lot when i “decided” to get back in my shell (as JP says)
I’m digging deep inside to know what and why i started to censor myself.. I’m so glad i have memories of my younger self when i wasn’t what i am now.. i know that my character is strong because i once was.
:)
Keep going , I wish you all the strenght you need to finally become the person you want to be. I was born with the will to say anything I want. Got me into a lot of trouble but people also love me for that
I wish you the best of luck, I really understand how you feel and am going to try and do that myself.
Sending hugs & prayers, Miss IG. The journey is worth it.
@@seessass3825 I envy you
“A cliche is a bad thing in the same sense that being possessed by the dead is a bad thing: it’s not you.”
a rather cliche sentiment
That's not your own thought, you don't really have a right to it.. oh no.. now I don't have a right to mine.. Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
@@straighttalking2090 lol
More context to this definition ?
My thoughts have stopped being my own
I'm working on it. Grew up in a narcissist, abusive household and just talked with my therapist about introjection, because I have an intoject of my violent narcissistic mother in me and try to untangle myself from it. When you're gaslighted, manipulated and abused for so long, it's hard to figure out who you are under all the coping mechanisms to deal with it.
I want to be nothing like them!
Due to the years of gaslighting and my ptsd ect his method doesn't work yet, because I don't know how to feel safe f.e. But it's still good to know. I hope it will work, once I'm more stable.
Was looking for this comment! Same - survivor of CPTSD, and one of the key symptoms of this type of trauma is that we are fairly disconnected and numb to our body. So the feeling that JP describes requires one be attuned to their body. Unfortunately, trauma has its victims be (hyper)attuned to their minds (which is why a lot of them live in their heads).
It’s good awareness to have all the same. Once we can trust feeling safe, I believe we habituate our bodies once again.
I can relate to both these comments. I don't wanna live in fear or in my head no more!!
When I first started posting online, I told myself I will be as authentic as possible whether people hate me or love me. It was hard at first due to the hate. I had anxiety, doubted who I was, and wanted to quit. Then somewhere along the way I began to adapt. I also got love for being who I was. So my confidence grew. I became calloused and trusted myself more. By doing this the internet has taught me how to embrace my imperfections, heal my traumas, and have unbound confidence. It’s the most freeing thing ever, being you.
Listening to Jordan Peterson really makes me feel less crazy. I write about things he tends to lecture on when I’m journaling or writing raps and try to talk to others about it but they never seem interested or they’ve just never considered it before and still don’t really care.
Dude I *Feel* you lol
I agree so I tend to use his philosophies and ideas as a way of thinking about the problems I encounter in my studies and applying them there instead.
Love it? How have you compiled the vocals? Is it a program?
I’ll check it out, I find that stuff very entertaining
Keep working!
This is ridiculously useful for relationships. Think of your partner. Instead of telling them that they look hot as a compliment, tell them something that actually resonates with you. Sincerity and genuineness truly come across when you communicate something you believe to be true. I love this guy.
Example
For starters why would you tell them they look hot if that didn’t resonate with you ? That makes no sense.
Maybe it’s more useful in relationships if when you say you agree to do something it makes you weak. Because most people can go along with other people in inauthentic ways much more easily than to speak towards them in inauthentic ways.
Do you think that things like teasing can allow the both of you to resonate with each other when they're authentic? Like picking up on a certain trait or mannerism that the other person has from observations you've made and later teasing them about it. Not to make fun of them or trample on their insecurities, but to show them that you pay attention to them?
Big facts.
Me too He is great
I totally agree with this cause I started to do this in 2020. I set boundaries with everyone in my network and so more. I asked people to ask for consent before sharing their thoughts and opinions about my situation or myself without consent. To not tell me how I should be, feel, do ,need, should do, should be.🙏🏼
Thanks for including the original link. Great practice to follow. This snippet is one that I will watch again to remind myself to be myself. It is really eye oening how much of our personality is from outher sources that we looked up to or felt that we could use in our life interactions.
Observing the conditioned thoughts that pop up in our minds rather than automatically identifying with them has always been an important part of spiritual practice. In this way, we are no longer driven by our thoughts but can actually think for ourselves. JP seems to have re-discovered this important insight.
I’ve done the same thing, I tried to get rid of bad misconceptions.
What do you mean conditioning?All thoughts are conditiined
Reading Singer right now
@@luckeystrike3541 Not many people subscribe to the belief that free will is non-existent
@@someguy2016 "conditioning, in physiology, a behavioral process whereby a response becomes more frequent or more predictable in a given environment as a result of reinforcement, with reinforcement typically being a stimulus or reward for a desired response."
If you have certain types of thoughts and behaviours in certain situations then those are conditioned thoughts. For example you may isolate in your room and start meditating, but the type of thoughts that come up in meditations on your own in your room are conditioned to happen more there than in the middle of conversing with someone or even meditating in a group setting. Any reaction or thought that you have in response to something automatically is a conditioned response. So you may think, "well what about the thoughts that aren't automatic, and are generated by me, as I try to analyse and understand _X_ thing." and yes those are still conditioned thoughts even if you've never had them before or thought about and tried to analyse _X_ thing before since your ability to understand and the contents of the thoughts generated were based on past experiences and how you've broken down and analysed things in the past and how much you were right or wrong about certain aspects etc, the way that you generate these thoughts was shaped by the 'stimulus' or response of doing so (being right/wrong etc.)
His analogy about clichés and hiding behind clichés to get away from who you are is pure genius.
This is probably the most practical advice I’ve ever seen him give on one of his videos. Usually I’m more interested in just learning about psych theory whatever, but this authenticity exercise sounds like something that I could actually do that could really help me. Thanks for the upload.
Just wow, JP never ceases to amaze me. He some how always hits home for me and provides an idea that I would otherwise take years to discover on my own. Thank you for this channel!
Being genuine is one of the main reasons I do my absolute best to always tell the truth. Not just the truth as others see it but as I interpret my experience. Listening to this just makes me realize that I'm still lying to myself. Seems wisdom is key here which can only come through trial and error.
There's the truth. The other is "a truth" or "my truth" which will never be the truth.
JP: fostering the little green shoots in people’s souls for decades.
In my experience. I'm 23 now. I have used sleep deprivation to explore this. You think less & you just do. You're body is already running on overtime. You dont have time for social anxiety. Face adversity in any form & it creates character.
hahaha sleep deprivation? You aren't supposed to be half asleep to show up authentically lolol
@@margiesvanmori Lol you put Lol at the end of your statement like it's funny. Lol
I’ve been trying to break from my introverted habits for a while now and this video is summing up months of things I’ve taught myself and I’m learning more. my mind is blown
Again JBP has important stuff to share. I think I understand what he is talking about. When I was 20 and a little more I noticed that there were certain social situations, that made me feel so uncomfortable (a feeling I tried to ignore), that I many times unawares tried to bragg about myself and what I had done, like trying to act the hero. This made me feel shameful afterwards, as the exaggeration was so unnecessary and kind of self-centered. In the situations I was nervous and didn't want it to show. My hands were clammy, though. This was "the sign" for me - if the situation was OK and I thrived in it and could be my honest self, the sweating wasn't that bad. I started to pay attention and to adjust my behaviour, what I said and what I displayed/acted out.
Long story short: I learned that I was an introvert and that it was OK, and I needn't try to be in the center and pretend anything. I needn't take responsibility for awkward silencies and gloomy moods in a group around me.
I learned that I simply could stay at home with my books and my music (in no one else's taste anyway), and that I personally needed no drinks nor partying, and no winning of any debates. My hands clearly told me what I could handle with authenticy.
Haha that was me too...
I totally relate! Only realised and understood this too in the past couple of years.
Thank you, I needed to hear this. You’ve hit the nail on the head, good luck with whatever is your endeavor
@@solus5635 Good luck to you also! Hope you'll find all you need!
I’m going through this too. Except it wasn’t my hands that told it was the “feeling weak”.
But with every interaction that I’m having, I’m saying what i actually think, telling my experiences and stories, and saying my honest opinions (not rudely though) and expressing my emotions with the words that i feel right, and I’ve never felt better.
Is it better to describe the feeling as cringe? Cringing means you regret something you say, makes you feel weak in the process. Hopefully you learn from it to not say it again.
ahahah, yeah that's actually quite accurate
I agree. That’s why when you look back at things you used to do or say when you were younger you cringe, because you see how perhaps you were trying to be something you weren’t, or beacuse how yoh used to act doesn’t align with how you would align now
I don't think so.
In some sense yes, because to cringe means to distort yourself and pull back in a defensive manner.
It's making yourself smaller so you could say that it is a result of feeling weak
Happens to me when I think about when I used to take selfies.
This was very helpful. I've been honest with people about my past and I never knew why I bothered telling people because I knew it would make me weaker. It did, because some people wouldn't speak to me as much. Now I know its because I was being authentic. Thank you.
Yes I had this issue with a co worker
I Would talk about my personal issues but could sense he was full of bs or would fake being concerned only because me being around would benefit him. Now he uses my honesty against me . And I tell him the truth at work when he screws up he never wants to accept his mistakes and is not used to being called out . he’s the type of guy that never
wants to be wrong . I literally explained to him in a professional way what he was doing wrong . after that he stopped answering my calls and texts . Some people just bring up your issues to hide they’re bs
This hit my feed in a very timely fashion.
I find it amazing to watch him dissect the knowledge in his head into "plain text". I can't say that I've ever noticed this in anyone else's presentation before.
Einstein did it also. Einstein was able to explain very complex problems in simple terms. This is genius!
it’s a sign that you’re either pretty smart or pretty dumb and getting away with it
This is why he's famous.
It is nice to listen to someone who speaks more than everyday words. You can truly learn from him if you use common sense rather than your judgment.
Your comment is a cliche
@@xabdab I am glad to hear most people think so to the point that is perceived as a cliche!
Mina Kalantar Yes, JBP speaks "ready for print like text" - that's a pleasure to read again, to listen to again. Learn to write, learn to speak, he has underlined that often (from some ancient philosopher presumably). He passes on what he has found useful, he is so generous! We are allowed to do the same to the best of our ability. Indeed, we should do so, because everybody can't compose brilliant songs, but "everybody can sing" experts say (but it might demand practice).
We do many valuable things that are not original nor new innovations.
To me being truly authentic is actually quite liberating. It has nothing to do with any pain I might feel. If being authentic is painful then a person is too worried about people pleasing. In so many instances a people pleaser is is the very definition of being inauthentic. Furthermore self reflection helps us evaluate ourselves and having a strong belief system is our way of measuring ourselves if we are truly sold out to truth. Truth is whole and not partial or circumstantial but is actually eternal. Many are not firm in truth or any solid belief or lasting faith but are easily tossed to and fro. The world today doesn’t really understand the big picture holographically yet has every capability to do that and more. We’ve moved into a new age but most people are more shallow than ever. Having no depth or development of character is also the product of being inauthentic.
Thanks for the link to full version
Take care.
"Don't think, feel... it is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory."
Enter the dragon reference, LOVE IT
Luce Bree
That could be interpreted as be ruled by your emotions which is objectively a bad idea.
It's "shouldn't have", not "shouldn't of".
"Here is natural instinct and here is control... if you have one to the extreme you will be very unscientific. If you have another to the extreme, you become, all of a sudden, a mechanical man. No longer a human being. So it is a successful combination of both." "It is not pure naturalness or unnaturalness; the ideal is unnatural naturalness or natural unnaturalness."
If I hear someone say something iv never heard before, or come up with an idea iv never heard before, and I become offended. That means I need to put away my offense and listen very carefully.
First of all, why do you take offence
There is nothing wrong with taking offense and in fact, a lot of times it is just a natural reaction to something that contradicts what you think you know or understand. The problem is shutting other people down and ignoring them after that initial reaction as opposed to listening to what they say and trying to understand where they're coming from.
@Eriko. Oy haha that’s what I used to do! ^^ Now I’ve changed how I would handle these kinds of things.
I would recommend to let your curiosity run. New word? Woah that’s cool I wanna learn how to use that too! New idea? Wow I wanna dive deeper into that! Saying “maybe I am stupid” Has a negative vibe to it but I get where you’re coming from in a self improvement way.
For me, letting my curiosity run wild into something I don’t know is really fun and I get to enjoy it at that moment when I come across something unfamiliar :) it’s a second nature now and I don’t need to be that self reflective every single time.
@Eriko. Oy It definitely comes to the belief that we're all idiots running aroound in this world. Once I've truely accepted that I've just been learning and learning and it doesn't matter to me now that I don't know any word or ideas I come across. Because You can always learn that. and I will learn more about that from the person who brought it up or internet. Trust yourself that you'll be alright when something new happens :)
Lived my whole life thinking I was authentic… at 26, I’m just learning who I am aside from other people… that feeling of ‘right’ in your core, always follow that
Same here
We can't be both: Accepted by society and at the same time reveal who we really are
He explains it so well. When in conversations with others we often wait to talk, wait to interject and leave our impression, most of the time some with the good intention of sharing knowledge we learned somewhere, but without realizing what that actually has to do with the conversation. Are we sharing because we are genuinely interested in the person or conversations, or because in some way we want to impress some kind of superiority on the situation? Being aware of this seems to be the first step, paying attention to everything, not just the conversation, but it’s purpose, and how my brain will try to hijack to feel gratification.
this is exactly what I need right now
I didn't expect he was going towards some cold hard essay writing advice. But I'm glad he did :)
the one time i decided not to write an original essay, i basically just copied the plot and character names from the movie "Willow", i got what is equivalent to an A+ (grades from 1-6 where 6 is the best, i got a 6), all essays before that point have been 3's and 4's.... Half the effort, double the reward. xD
Teachers don't give a shit about originality, that's not the purpose of essays. :P
@@MyouKyuubi then they are not teachers, they are brainwashers.
@@MyouKyuubi you're assuming that your teacher saw Willow, you cheated and got way with it , you now devalue originality based on how easy it was for you to score big with a lie.
Thank you for sharing. Amazing talk. So helpful
I'm amazed. continue please.
I find myself doing this very frequently. Carefully choosing words when actually speaking to avoid the tearing feeling inside and feel 100% confident in every word that comes out. Otherwise just stay quiet and observe for the most part.
I never thought I would say this but this makes me miss college and writing essays. It was definitely a character building experience being able to be bold and share parts of yourself with your professors.
You should start a book club. hahaha let this be your sign. You can read with people and talk about the books with people. Just a thought I thought of when I saw your comment.
@@margiesvanmori I am very late but any online book club that you world recommend?
Well said, I should have taken my college years more seriously. But it's never too late. God bless us all, and Mr. Peterson loves humanity to share with us.
This is so true! I used to be homeschooled so I only shared my work with my parents or my contact teacher, which was just one person who I would have for years.
So when I switched to public schooling in high school, it was daunting and humiliating to have to share my work openly with complete strangers, and it took some getting used to!
Another great video with useful advice-TY! x
This absolutely blows my mind and validates so many of my feelings and thoughts.
"The best things can't be told," because they transcend thought. "The second best are misunderstood," because those are the thoughts that are supposed to refer to that which can't be thought about, and one gets stuck in the thoughts."The third best are what we talk about.
Heinrich Zimmer
Could someone explain this further please?
I see this a lot when writing. If you're making a story, and something just feels off, it's often because you're catering to what someone else feels should be written.
It's easy to do this excersize when you have your thoughts literally on paper in front of you.
I absolutely agree
“You can identify yourself with your intellect, which is one of the great sins of intelligent people.”
I never know, when I watch Jordan Peterson, what I’m going to need to hear, but I know I will hear something I definitely needed to hear.
Thanks for the knowledge, Dr. P! ❤🦞
I know exactly what Jordan is talking about. Not only can one tell when they are deceiving themselves in the words we say, but when we refine that sense, we can also tell when someone else is doing it. It's an amazing process. For those of faith, it's called the "gift of discernment". It's an ability to tell light and truth from it's opposite OR it's counterfeit!
"Most of what you think and most of what you say are the opinions of other people"- JP
Amazing talk
I love this! “A prerequisite to genuine communication and thought.”
When I was 15 I decided to question myself for a few months. Meaning I asked myself about the mundane things "WHY did I do that?". It was a pretty good exercise to figure out yourself and even nowadays I occasionally do it.
Gosh I love this guy. A treasure.
True beauty comes from the pure heart. Be authentic as much as possible. Some used to change if they got hurt by stuff. But they don't know only the genuinity lasts at the end.
Don’t ever give up on being genuine.
Right on time 💯
Harvard and Yale, (though they'll never admit it) - hate- a free lecture like this. Because this is a total Gem, - a pearl of real wisdom, from a million dollar education, that Harvard and Yale would traditionally teach (and get paid for) - but here Jordan Peterson is providing this FREE to everyone, and this is GREAT stuff right here... Thank you very much Jordan Peterson.
He taught in Harvard for a couple of years I believe
You're joking, right? Yale and Harvard, including Harvard Business School, have heaps of free lectures up on YT. Search yalecourses for example. Did you even try that before making your ignorant comment? MIT is up on YT too, and prob most of the big name unis.
I assure you, they do not care
This is exactly how it is at Harvard
“I believe it was Gollum and ...... bilbo? Frodo?”
His classes are legendary. Whoever taped this is a genius.
I believe he filmed everything himself
He recorded his lectures because he finds his class to be life lessons that can pertain to anyone rather than just limiting his knowledge to Stanford Graduate Psychology Students
I find it unusually amusing that you said the person who filmed this is a genius and Jordan was the person who chose to film this 😂
Thank you so much.
Thanks for this very interesting video! 💪
I would really like him to dissect the "pick your battles" mentality. It stands to reason that if anything from your external or internal world inspires a "battle" response, then it is worth taking on. I would estimate that the less you choose to battle, the less you are willing to authentically go about your life.
There are an infinite amount of things one could battle, and "pick your battles" is an expression of efficiency and patience
Now THAT my friend was an authentic idea you just espoused! :)
It's a matter of leadership VS conformity. How much responsibility will you choose to adopt?
Wow something ive struggled with forever! Thank you all for your insight!
When I would fight for whats right people would tell me to pick my battles. Me in my naivety, probably hoping for comformity and acceptance stopped fighting all together. I stopped fighting immoral ideals espoused by the media and society at large. I figured nobody would listen. But here we are 😙
Me and my people hashing things out :) we understand eachother more than others understand us. They conform to the yellow brick road. We question if the pink road is actually objectively better for humanity. because we are thinkers. We are stimulated by debate, open mindedness, and a hunger for the truth
Thank you all, i praise God for good intelligent people coming back into my life right when i needed it
Sorry there goes my ADHD, probably induced in part by my lifestyle (the brain is plastic, watching 6 second videos all day will give you said attention span 😅)
I hope you all understood what i was trying to articulate. Thanks for your patience, as I'm trying to get my "room clean" in all aspects 💗
Watched this today. I'm going to seek to apply this to everything in my life. Such an invaluable insight.
Mr. Jordan Peterson. Thank you so much for your authenticity and your words have awakened the real self in me that had been struggle for being free from compromising with truth to be safe or not to be attacked. God bless you in abundance!
Excellent information... thank you.
It’s best to be fake with other fake people, when I finally found someone who was genuine and authentic it’s easy to be honest too.
How do you know they weren't doing the same? From their perspective you're just as fake as they were to you. You gotta make that leap of faith and be genuine, I bet that's how you found that trustworthy someone.
@@robbiekavanagh2802 that’s often because I’ve been shunned for it, and haven’t observed it in person ever, even my oldest friends from I was 5-6 aren’t that close with me, the one person I found that has at least tried to be genuine with me, me and her have had some very daunting conversations that I’ve always wanted to have with someone, and I can’t believe someone so authentic exists, I actually choose to try and talk to her, I assume the reason she and I were so able to connect was we are alone on the inside. I’m going to shut up now.
And besides that, most people aren’t that self aware, so there really isn’t a point in trying to explore their mind
@@stephen9381 I felt the exact same way when I was in middle school. I disliked almost everyone. They didn't seem to have any capacity for critical thinking. I viewed almost everyone with the exception of a few adults as dumber and less than me. Then I found a really inviting, welcoming group. I realized not everyone sucks and that I had to give people a chance. As hard as it can be to humble ourselves, I really do think it is best to take Jordan Peterson's advice: assume that you have something to learn from everyone. I hope you are able to find more people you can connect with in the near future. It is great having a group of friends that are all up to stuff and encouraging each other.
Well good luck @@stephen9381, I hope that all goes well for you. I see what you're saying about being shunned, but I think that's the price to be paid for being able to think independently. Maybe it's not so bad to be shunned from a group who's values don't align with your own (or who don't actually have any real values), so long as you can go and make your own values work in the world. The alternative to living in your current group is severing your connection with it and finding a group that better suits you, or finding other lost people with good intentions with whom you could form a new tribe.
I do agree with Peterson though about moral relativism, and I think it's relevant here. It's impossible to form, or become part of, a group if nobody can agree on or share any perception of the world. I've been watching the lectures for years and only recently started to understand what post modernism/moral relativism are, but I'm also starting to think that maybe moral relativism is the dissolution of self that he often talks about, and that after all this 'chaos' (again, to use his terminology (because it's all I know)) that things will re-solidify into a more coherent and all-inclusive picture.
I'm currently in a similar place to you I think (maybe a few steps further down the road, maybe not I don't know your story). I've recently severed connection with my family to gain some independence from them so I can assess my relationship to them more accurately (plus going out completely into the unknown is a cross-cultural ritual of ascension to manhood which is something that I wasn't getting from my family life, but maybe the blame is to be attributed more broadly to our times and our attitudes toward manhood than just to my parents.) My current goals are to become comfortably self sufficient (either by continuing to earn a living, living more simply, or somewhere between the two), to develop real relationships, and to heed my calling, from which, I have in all honesty, been cowering away from.
He has changed my life. I think I’ve watched every video on CZcams that he has and have his books. So grateful to have come across him
This is amazing.
Thank you for that good explanation 😊
He is the only professor I have heard address this topic. I respect him for that and need to hear more.
"That feeling in your stomach..."
Yeah... Finally! Now I know why I am trusting my gut more than my head. Kind of reckless but they tell no lies.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE. THANK YOU JORDAN FOR SHOWING ME THE WAY. NOW IT’S ALL UP TO ME. WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPS LOCK?