Spinel: The Effects of Abandonment, Toxicity & Recovery
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- čas přidán 30. 09. 2019
- In Steven Universe: The Movie, we meet Spinel. Pink Diamond's old playmate, who she had abandoned and left behind in her personal garden over 6,000 years ago. This abandonment is the sole reason she comes to Earth, seeking revenge on Steven.
In order to better understand Spinel's motives and why Rebecca Sugar has called her "toxic", we need to take a closer look at the effects that abandonment can have on someone.
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*_[Understood]_*
Thank you for making this video. I love videos that discuss mental health : )
Do an numberblocks toon ruins!
Okay Dookie
By the way, I don’t think Pink actually intended to have Spinel stand there forever. I think she just assumed that someone would come take Spinel and use her for other entertainment. She’s royalty, she’s used to having her messes cleaned up by others. Spinel just fell through the cracks. She was forgotten by everyone. Plus, Pink could’ve moved to a new warp network when she was given the Earth. Not all warp pads are connected, and she probably didn’t have an easy way to get back to the garden when she was given the planet. Not saying it was impossible, just probably would require shipping herself back and would be a hassle, so she didn’t bother, assuming Spinel would be fine. I’m not defending her actions, but I don’t think they were intentionally malicious. If you want to make a video on Pink’s actions, I think you should know about this, too.
"Amethyst doesn't really hurt others"
Amethyst: *Shapeshifts into rose to psychologically torment greg*
Greg gave amethyst permission
@@preciousyoung357 Remember the first time she did? no permission asked there
@@thatguyonyoutube2063 we shouldn't compare that to spinel because ame never tried to murder steven out of anger and jealousy
@@JohnDoe-vw4zf I'm not comparing the two? all I'm doing is pointing out amethyst is kinda evil and vindictive. At least before she started getting some development that is.
@@thatguyonyoutube2063 You did when you decided to bring a dick move from amethyst (really evil???) up in a video mostly about spinel
Spinel: *exists*
The fandom:Just let us adore you
Edit(one year later):Yo wth
Fnaf Lover 87 true XD
So tru
Me of course
Looll trueeee
I don’t even watch the show and now because of her I got interested lol
"She truly believes that she is incapable of ever being loved by anyone, because she has been made unloveable through her abuse." WhOooaa
I felt that 😂
@@theirmajesty8787 what?
TheCryingYak it’s slang it means I relate to this
@@theirmajesty8787 i was talking about the abuse part...i @ted the wrong person.
Eesh, that hits a bit too close to home. I may not have been exactly abused but I have been deeply hurt by people I used to care about, my own parents specifically. Because of being so heartbroken I react aggressively sometimes, I can hurt others out of frustration and anger. Usually it's online though, but if I were any bold, I'd have also voiced my pain to my parents. Now I fear it's too late to go back. I don't feel like I could be loved by anyone now, because I am unable of change and I... I guess I'm toxic. But nobody has shown me there is hope.
Okay also Spinel was abandoned for SIX THOUSAND YEARS. Everyone else in the show was abandoned for about 14. I feel like that small detail was skipped over
Lapis around 5700 years,
Plus they had others with them as well, Spinel and Lapis are two characters who were alone much longer and without anyone, I'd argue Spinel's is still different though because Spinel didn't even know what was happening
maybe because comparing traumas is toxic? just a thought.
@@thorgidogofthunder no one comparing them to say who's was worse, it's comparing them because they all went through similar events and all had different outcomes for different reasons
You gotta understand though (not excusing any bad behavior) that Gems don't go by our standard of time. They live infinitely unless killed by an outside force, and do not die of old age. Sure, 14 years is a lot for humans, but that's because we only live to roughly 80 and then die. 6000 years is hundreds of human lifetimes, but to a Gem, that's nothing when you've already been alive for hundreds of thousands (just an example, not an exact number)
Trauma is explanation, but not justification
Damn right
Very true.
Example: I have abandonment issues [not going into detail why, it’s complicated and messy] and whenever one of my friends doesn’t talk to me for at least a day, I assume the worst and freak out that they don’t like me anymore and that I’ll be alone.
I know that these feelings are just my abandonment issues flaring up and I know I’ll be okay.
So what you said is very true
i geuss...
Thank you! Im going to have to remember that whenever people think that whatever they do is ok just because they had something bad happen to them
Oh, true!
I think the thing about “toxic” is people think misinterpret that as “bad/evil”.
It is not. It just means bad feelings are coming up, which can happen to any person for any reason. Everyone has “the worst” aspects of themselves.
Spinel was hurt, badly, and that pain was handled poorly by hurting other people. Just cause you are abused does not mean you can abuse other people. THAT is toxic behavior.
Honestly I'd rather be called bad or evil than toxic.
I think it goes deeper than your theory. I think calling someone toxic is so much worse. I mean think of the meaning of toxic. If somebody called me toxic, told me I was a toxic person in their life, the first thing that would come to my mind is that I'm poisoning them. This person believes that I'm poisoning them. That I'm a can of radioactive waste destroying parts of them and their life because it's in my nature to do so. And for some reason I think that's justifiably much more painful to be called than "bad" or "evil". Just a thought
I also don't think this is a very fair depiction of how abuse affects a person. I also feel like one shouldn't compare abuse to toxicity. Just a personal opinion...
@@Memptye0213It may be more painful, but is it worse? If you're called evil, that's just an insult. You can ignore that. But being called toxic? Saying that your actions hurt them so much they think it's better to leave you out of their life? That forces you to look at yourself. Am I truly so bad? Then you have two choices. You decide to get help and actively try to be better and learn how to not hurt others, or you don't do that. It may be in your nature, but who says your nature has to be like this? People can change.
I also don't think this video compares abuse to toxicity. Nowhere in it was it stated that the more you are abused, the more toxic you are, or anything similar to that. The author of this video clearly states that everyone deals with abuse differently, and that some deal with it by becoming toxic themselves. That's not a comparison, that's a fact. Some people who are abused are then also abusers, consciously or not. You're not a toxic person for being in pain, but the moment you decide to deal with that pain by hurting others? Then you become toxic and should probably think very hard on what to do about it.
@@Memptye0213 I used to, but being toxic is pretty much more justifiable than being bad/evil.
Our feelings aren't always our fault, but they're our responsibility.
Very well stated.
Very true.
Fr
That's right!
Accurate
It kinda shows how messed up gem society is that a living, feeling creature is literally manufactured to fill a role and then abandoned like a toy. I’m sure Spinel wasn’t the only person so badly hurt by the diamonds and their attitude - even if it wasn’t always directly linked to Pink personally.
kinda like our own
Capitalism/Socialism/Society?
@@lesserevil8136 joker era?
"I wanted to explore what it's like when you're trying to help someone that doesn't wanna help themselves" Dang. Sugar has spine, mad respect
Spine-l
@@howaboutnow1895 aye.....
Oh god... I feel guilty saying this...but I have a friend like that... it’s draining.
@@keelanmorningstar7800 you can love them from afar. the world can hurt, but we can also have a personal responsibility to keep it together
People will be like "Pink Diamond's abuse doesn't justify her actions" and then when Rebecca says the exact same thing about Spinel they turn around and get mad at her. How people can be so hard on RS I will never understand.
this i hate this fandom so much jfc
Show is awesome, but this fandom can blow me
SU Criticals absolutely suck. The part of the fandom that isn't obsessed with nitpicking everything and looking for malice where there isn't any is actually pretty chill.
That's just how SU Criticals be. Anything to demonize The Sugar Woman.
@@ToonRuinsOfficial *tHe SuGaR wOmAn SuFfErS*
Me: **scrolling through the comment section to see some opinions**
Comments Section: **is a literal warzone**
Me: *aight imma head out-*
Why is there a “me:”
😂
Same ✌🏾
I would do the same
Bro, I saw a small comment, and almost 125 comments replied. I literally moped out of that.
Spinel is weirdly good representation for what it's like to have BPD. I connect a lot with her. I don't act out much since I've got to get help for coping with my BPD, but having Spinel is like a weird comfort.
Yes! Exactly, right now I am going through a very tough time and it’s weirdly relatable with Spinels situation. I have suspected Ive had bpd for awhile now but haven’t been able to go and find out, however Spinel is comforting, just like Jinx from Arcane, it makes me feel like my experiences aren’t so lonely. I can totally see myself in her.
its really funny you posted this, when i finally saw someone for help and a diagnosis i talked about spinel in my session. i got diagnosed with bpd as well. lmfao😂
Imagine someone calling you out for victim-blaming your own character.
*turns around to that ppl*
imaginge not listening to the part where the videos states that she wasn't blamed for being a victim, but how she reacted to realizing she was abandoned
@@lintyscorpion2692 ou-
And, this is why we can't have nice things. Did you not watch the video?
@@winter-starlight *OU-'S EVEN HARDER*
"Being abused does not give you the excuse to abuse others" is an important lesson that some seriously need to learn. But being able to accept help is extremely important on top or that, saying sorry is not a sign of weakness...
Also I will always see Pink as a terrible person though.
[Edit: Since some people seem to think excusing Pink's behavior because diamond abuse is ok, geezuz bloody christ it's not. She chose to bubble Bismuth and leave her abandoned in Lion for over 1000 years, she chose to abandon Spinel on the rotting garden rock for over 1000 years, She chose to swear Pearl to secrecy, She chose to take the form of an existing gem in her court inadvertently leading to their genocide, She didn't even take Greg's feelings seriously at first and She never even told most of them sorry.]
Everything you said I agree with you spinel shouldn't have to take her anger out on the Earth and Steven but after seeing her crying at the end saying all she wanted was to be your friend you can't help but just want to give her a hug at least spinel own up to her mistakes at the end pink diamond however... is the absolute worst the only thing pink diamond did good her life was having Steven after seeing this movie everybody is starting to hate her now and there is a lot of reasons to pink diamonds no longer alive so that means she avoid any responsibility at all for all the damage she cause. In the beginning. Pink diamond was just a spoiled brat she had a good friend like spinel but eventually she got tired of her and Cast her away like she was just a toy granted she tried to convince the other diamonds not the colonize the planet but they refuse to listen but after that everything went downhill from there and he was one of the issues I have with her.
1. After she came up with this idea to fake her shattering hoping the other diamonds will back off didn't think to account that the diamonds would retaliated by blasting the planet hoping the Rebellion be crushed but instead got corrupted also since pink diamond disguise ourselves as rose quartz the other actual rose quartz gems got bubble and punished for something she did.
2. During the war she started most gems like lapis lazuli didn't want to have nothing to do with the war but got caught in the crossfire she was later treated like she was one of the Crystal Gems and got punished by having her gemstone be put into a mirror for thousands of years. Then we have bismuth all she wants to do was to help her comrades by creating the breaking point to shatter gems but pink diamond didn't like the idea of a weapon that was able to shatter gems even though many gems probably got shatter already during the war which a argument between her and bismuth leading to a fight ending with bismuth being bubble and put into lion's mane after all that pink Diamond never told the other Crystal Gems what became of her she probably bubble bismuth to keep her Secret
YES pink diamond was a terrible person but she noticed that something was wrong after she fell in love with Greg. She was the first diamond to recognize that ruining planets was wrong and that gem society was bad for individuals. I, personally, think she's earned forgiveness.
Hurt people hurt people, no one intentionally seeks and plans to abuse and cause pain to others. You have to first be conscious of your own toxicity and trauma before you can heal yourself and not hurt others.
@@CloudTribe While in some cases true, you'd be surprised. Someone I know currently uses her childhood trauma as a weight to throw around to scream at people and police what they say and do. But yes, in some cases that true
Edit: Also even if someone does "plan" to, my point still stands, its not an excuse and they should still be able to take their consequences and titles like mature beings
@@MythicMoonlight They literally say "because I have childhood trauma I can scream at you?"
And you're ignoring the cycle of pain that people simply pass it on to the next person. No one plans to do it, and are seldom conscious of it so the unjustifiable pain is spread before the person is able to isolate themselves, self diagnose and detox. It's not an excuse but it's no different than a baby throwing something and breaking it if the baby isn't conscious of it.
Actually Pink is also a victim of pretty intense and many ways of abuse by the other diamonds, but Pink hurts them in the only way she could actually bother them: dissapearing, so Spinel and the diamonds are kind of in the same situation but on different levels (now that they recognize their mistakes and blame, they cant apologize to Pink, so they cling to Steven as if he is Pink, they actually kind of think he IS Pink). I think its the perfect place for Spinel, because they all four say "I know you are not her, but you were hers, and you remind me so much of her", kind of finding the replacement the four of them needs to heal with time.
Just because you were abused it's not an excuse to abuse someone else
@@pavanmulani9567 I don’t think you know how abuse works
@@pavanmulani9567 But not one person said that, maybe you should be telling this to the spinel fans who think Spinel was justified in trying to kill steven and the entire earth
I feel so bad for Spinel, as someone who’s been abandoned multiple times by people, I get the anger she felt. I didn’t want to poison an entire planet, but you get the point
I’m so sorry that has happened to you :(
Stay strong and sending love your way! ❤
Same, I was honestly hated those who abandoned me and just people in general. I've sort of worked on it, I'm not hateful of people I'm still of those that abandoned me and that won't change
I also noticed how Spinel didn't really care for her own life as shown with her reaction to bring sliced by the rejuvenator. Talk about toxic to even one's self.
Spinelss a fat mood
@@KarutoZoaldyeck A mood one should not strive to be like
@@slothful2039 HAHA
Well... I think she didn't care about her being sliced is because she is a gem. Spinel knew how the weapon worked and that she would survive the attack and even would forget about being emotionally damaged. So that's why she really didn't care.
It's like as if she wanted to be poofed and forget all her memories because they were that bad. :(
As someone who's been clingy and in a toxic relationship: it's wasn't really about "I'm not happy so why should they". The reason I would hurt this person back then was because I really wanted them to know how hurt I was feeling. There were times when no matter how much I tried to explain my pain, they wouldn't understand or listen and the only way to be undertood or at least listened was hurting them back.
Not justifying Spinel's bad actions (or my own) at all, just offering a different explanation of why she did what she did.
I think the reasons vary person to person. I have my own experiences with stuff like this as well, and I think that peoples motives are different. I interpreted Spinel specifically as "I worked for Pink Diamond's love, but they got it instead and are happy with it. Therefore I'm going to make them suffer for it." Especially since Pink wasn't around for her to make her feel hurt back. None of the gems who she was hurting were involved in her abuse. But how she's feeling specifically/what her exact motive is I think is up for interpretation, so your view on it is also valid.
tye
In that logic, it makes sense to me now why people might choose to cheat on their toxic SO. Cheating is one of the single worst actions you can do to someone in a relationship, and if your SO refuses to listen to your pain, or even attempt to understand your hurt, I can see the mental route of "I want to show them how I'm feeling by hurting them back".
I'm also not attempting to justify the action of cheating on your toxic SO, it was just something that clicked for me reading your comment.
I agree to this thread
(not excusing anything) I resonate with spinel because I had been in a toxic relationship in which she wanted out of but didn't tell. She mentally abused me and when I told her about how I felt, it was unimportant. After I left (because she wasn't going to) I felt crazy, worthless, and as though i was a monster. I wanted to make her feel the same way and to be the monster she made. My thoughts were not healthy and kinda psychotic 😅.
I will say, Spinel is VERY smart and attentive. After watching Steven’s message to the universe about himself, Rose, Pink, and the earth, she completely understood the concepts. When her memories were erased by her own weapon, she still understood information she was given (concepts of consequences, memory loss, reenacting memories to bring them back, etc). Spinel understood the concept of human reproduction, and understood the concept of family (son, mom, dad). She understood Garnet’s fusion, and wasn’t judgmental because she understood that it’s not a bad thing.
Not even the Diamonds 100% understood all of this even after many, many long talks and discussions from the Crystal Gems about it. There’s many gems who don’t quite understand Steven’s birth, or how humans work, or what a mom and dad are. But Spinel? Spinel understands it right away, and it’s just really interesting.
Her observance and ability to take in what she is told and taught is impressive. Not even Pearl or Garnet are able to process information like her that quickly or easily. There’s things about humans that, despite it being thousands and thousands of years, Pearl still just doesn’t understand. Spinel understood it after only one video, and Steven’s explanation after she got hurt by her own weapon. Spinel was alone in a garden for 6000 years- no one taught her anything in that time, she didn’t move, nothing.
I think Spinel will be a great addition with the diamonds. She’s so funny, sweet, emotional, and intelligent. She can learn a lot from the diamonds, and the diamonds will definitely learn a ton from her. Spinel is very human-like, just as Pink/Rose was. I’d say she’s more human than Rose, because Spinel is more irrational, emotionally-driven, and defensive. Rose had the diamond poise and ability to pull herself together- but Spinel just acts on her heart. Rose didn’t understand human things nearly as easily as Spinel does.
I just think Spinel’s character is crazy in design, and I love her. I wish we could’ve gotten more from her after this.
Exactly, I agree! No doubt Spinel is highly intelligent, what is logical due with her creativity and jester function (in human societies this job was reserved to clever and educated guys).
Although, I think it was Pink who taught her about how organic life works: remember that Pink adopted all kind of biological creatures, and she and Spinel spend hours in the garden.
That's why she knows what progenitors, offsprings and sexual reproduction is.
"No one ever wants to see themselves as a toxic person" and yet it's the very moment of *recognizing and accepting that* that allows for change. In Spinel, in my personal experience, and just as likely, _with what you're going through._
THIS
Spinel hurts my heart so much. My mother was a drug addict and basically was my pink diamond. I worshipped her and when she died because of drugs it filled me with so much hate. Now I'm a mother myself and I'm striving to be more of a Greg.
i wish you the best!!! good luck!
Become a Greg! I believe in you!
I’m sure you’re already much more like Greg than you give yourself credit for. Good luck!
you be the greg you wanna be homie ,good luck with all of it bud!
I love this ❤️ I’m sorry you had to go through that, you’re incredible
I hate when people criticize how Steven acted in this movie, when he had NO obligation to be kind to the person who is killing his planet and reset his family and yet because he is Steven, is still making an effort for her wellbeing anyway, even if it's reasonably not his first priority.
EDIT: i think people are forgetting that he had spent the last 3+ years of his life being galactic therapist and has barely managed to help himself, and just when he thinks he's done, he loses all the progress he has made and has to scramble around emotionally and physically exhausted over the course of a day. so yes, even if he was uncharacteristically dismissive compared to how he has acted in the past, it's still unreasonable to blame him for acting in such a way. we've all been there where we've overextended ourselves to others and are left worn tf out so give the kid a break
Ultimately if Steven stayed like that and realized Spinel was beyond saving given this, the movie would’ve probably turned out so much better instead of just giving us another “sad and confused” villain.
People tend to forget that Steven is a child who is so fatigued with dealing with others problems at this point. There was an entire episode about this as well, it was called "What's Your Problem". Rebecca stated in the same interview that I talked about in the video, that the way Steven deals with these things isn't really the healthiest way for him.
He is under no obligation to help Spinel. She's a random gem who came to his planet, hurt his friends, tried to murder him and destroy Earth. If I were him, I would be apprehensive about helping her too. Regardless of how sympathetic her backstory is. Steven isn't and shouldn't be responsible for cleaning up every little mess his Mother made. It's kinda stupid to think that he is. He only helps because he's a good and empathetic person.
Toon Ruins well of fucking course Steven shouldn’t be suffering for his mother’s fuck ups. But the enemies don’t care and if Steven doesn’t fight, he will die.
On that note, I know he’s a good person whose empathy levels are off the charts but this is a weakness that nearly gets him killed dozens of times cause he’s too scared to raise a hand to anyone.
He literally had a huge-ass anime-esque fight against Spinel in the last 20 minutes of the movie. The rest of the movie he literally couldn't have fought her because he didn't have gem powers.
@@LenOnTheDoor0000 i don't think he's scared, i think he's brave. the show takes the route (one that some may hate, but is a route that i believe should be taken MORE often in media, ESPECIALLY kids' media) of kindness=courage, and talking/being empathetic>violence. it's not a weakness of the show, it's a strength, even if there are people who would do it differently. (also let it be known if it isn't clear that im not arguing with you i just think you started a good discussion)
“Being abused does not give you the excuse to abuse others” 👆🏼I’ve known several people throughout school who were hurt and as a result hurt people physically (hitting and scratching) or forcing all their problems onto them and expected them to be there to fix it for them. Someone I knew who experienced trauma would scratch and hit their friends including me, and would depend on us to be there for them ALWAYS, like spam is with texts if we didn’t respond within a certain amount of time and relied on us as their mental help, but people can only do so much for someone. You can’t count on people who aren’t professionally trained in mental help to BE your mental health care. It’s not healthy, nor is it fair to people. I also think Spinel was destined to be disappointed no matter what because she puts everything in one person, and she tends to be clingy and overbearing, and that’s a problem because that drives people away, however it ABSOLUTELY doesn’t excuse Pink Diamond abandoning her. I hope Spinel realizes that people need time apart and with the diamonds, because I have a feeling that if she puts everything into them, they’ll get annoyed. For example how Spinel wouldn’t let Pink or Steven leave to do something, she just grabbed them and pulled them back to her, and if she doesn’t or hasn’t realized this, the new season might have an episode on this. In the theme song for Steven Universe Future, in the one part, White Diamond looks angry and pink, which I think is her getting mad at Spinel. I definitely think she’ll be a good character to use to teach lessons in friendship.
I knew someone named Jordan on Google+ some years ago, probably around 2014, and for the life of me, I can't remember his username.
but your comment reminded me of him and I was that toxic person in our online friend group, due to suicidal depression and my personal, real life being a mess at the time.
I've healed and improved myself over the years and I've always wanted to find them so I could apologize for being such a trainwreck, because they were great people and deserved better than what I was at the time.
i guess the reason why I'm commenting here is because I'm hoping that you're who I'm looking for, and if you _are_ the same Jordan, I want you to know how sorry I am for being such a crappy person.
my username on Google+ back then was Emerald AJ (yeah, it's cringe, I know lol).
we didn't know each other in the real world though, and I was never physically around them, so I'm probably wrong lol
but if I do have the wrong person, sorry for wasting your time.
Bruh spinel is literally me but the only difference is that I haven't recovered from it and I don't think I ever will
made 11 months ago but. I’ll be honest, you are so right. i was in school and there was this guy. he asked me to be his friend and not having the experience with an actual friend I accepted without thinking twice. We would have fun for 1 year and a half. until he started getting more violent. Hitting, screaming, or calling me names. i sat throught that and for the next 4 years I just accepted it. i was really sensitive and nice back then. I wanted to help others and put them before me. and i took all the hits. and everytime he wanted to leave i tried to get him back so badly because he didnt let me have any other friends. then the last year of it. he didn’t approach me at the first day. so i just took out a book and read. and after a while i got really lonely. i was an extrovert back then so this was a nightmare. i was devastated and depressed. but when a new guy approached me and just wanted me because i was his toy. i acquired a new mindset. ive been so good my entire life, but what did that give me? being so nice just made me get hurt, and thats never happening again. i thought of the world as you either hurt others or they hurt you. so I decided to fight others and hurt them. i wanted to be villain. i didnt want anybody to ever feel happy again. i wanted it all for myself. and attacking people made me really happy. then i found two friends. they made me go, “soft” and i didnt want that to happen. I reminded myself if you act so nice they are gonna backstab you. so i became even more rude. and i was just numb. the only thing giving me joy was hurting people. and thats when i became a sociopath. my friends kept trying to change me not understanding i have to change when i want too. they were pissed and were arguing. i lied that i would become a better person. that never changed. all this just makes me really clingy to people i dont see as enemys. and this is why i think i love spinel so much. i feel like shes just so relatable. shes like both a younger and older me.
man i just told my whole backstory to the internet. haha i am such a loser. oh well this was really long. i dont feel better. i feel a lot more empty. peace??
@@jamitsmynameokay4077 i know im a little late but i lost all of my friends due to being toxic. i never intended to do any harm to them, but i did. and it sucks. trying to be better is difficult but im trying and i hope i can get there.
It's like owning an ecosystem. If you keep taking care of other peoples ecosystems who's gonna take care of yours? That's your responsibility.
This idea was taken from jaiden animations.
Spinel: H-
Fanbase: *Let us adore you!*
“It wasn’t spinel’s fault that she was abused, but it was her fault in how she acted after because she consciously chose to hurt people.” Oof I felt that.
Edit: Oh damn i just came back to this video and saw the likes thanks y’all. The reason this resonated with me was because I’m trying to figure this out myself. I can have toxic or enabling behaviors because of being hurt in the past, but I don’t want to be that person anymore. I know I can be better, and I want to be better. Maybe I can be “found and love again”, yknow?
Alyssa if I was her I’d do that what am I suppose to do be nice to everyone after that? Fuck no.
@@sane5732 Your problem not ours.
I don't think that after 6000 years of complete isolation and realising you were betrayed by the person you love you can do anything consciously.
No level of abuse excuses further abuse. That's how it becomes a cycle. That doesn't mean it's easy or fair - it's absolutely not fair that the ultimate onus of recovery and betterment is on the person who has been abused - but you can't force someone else to change or behave in a certain way. It's why abuse is so difficult to deal with, why it's so prevalent, and why it is so toxic. The hurt is more painful than you thought possible, and the cure necessarily requires more pain. It's not fair, and it's not right, but if more people can break their cycles, less will ever have to feel that pain.
@@DeathKitta 6k years for gems isn't a lot so your point doesn't work well
She protecc
She attac
But most importantly
*SOMEBODY REALLY NEED TO HUG HER BACC*
Yessss I’ll hug herrr
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE
What has she protected lmao, she's definitely attacked. I'll give her that hug aswell
@@thatsEforEveryone she protects... joy and happiness?
@@QuantumPineapple I don't see why not, she brought joy to my face and kept it there (minus the trying to kill everyone)
I relate to spinel so much. Once my "best friend" had no more use for me because her ex best friend came back she just slowly ditched me. She left me alone with no one. When i called her out she tried apologizing by saying she just had a lot on her mind. Telling youre supposed best friend that youre ignoring them and forgetting them but having time for everyone else is a bad apology. Ive seen this too many times. Sorry im ranting, this literally just happened today.
*hugs*
I got forgotten by my only two "best friends" today too. I know this was years ago for you but I know how bad it feels, especially if you thought they cared about you. Don't worry, real friends will never abandon you and give excuses as to why.
I didn’t realize how much I related to spinel but I guess it came from my early abandonment and manipulation from a certain friends. I was like spinael which I hurt others cause I was upset others for being happy. I then felt unloveable cause of this toxic behavior. I feel like the biggest lesson that rings so true is that what happened to you is not your fault but it is your responsibility to break the cycle.
Honestly before as a kid I always downplayed my trauma and problems and dismissed it as me taking myself too seriously or being too sensitive. Though as I’m older and adult, in hindsight’s it showed me the roots of my toxic behavior and I feel I’m on a path of growth and I’m still on a progress of being better. For those who have been traumatized, please your pain isn’t who you are, it is who you choose to be, how you define yourself. No one can take that away from you unless you let it. You can always regain control if you allow yourself.
This just happened to me today.
One thing I think that's important to note is that Spinel is representative of BPD, her behavior is very similar to someone with BPD, random bursts of anger, anxiety, feeling guilt after the anger fades, etc.
I just think that by identifying the mental illness shes associated with, it helps people to better relate and understand who and what this character is
I think part of the reason people who identify with Spinel feel defensive about the way some people talk about her is the fact that she’s referred to as a “toxic person” rather than a person exhibiting toxic behaviors
It may not seem important, but identifying someone as a trait can negatively impact how they see themselves. Claiming that “they are toxic” can make one feel like thats just who they are as a person and thus fundamentally predisposed to being stuck that way (Like when spinel says she can “only change for the worse”- she thinks that she’s unworthy of love because of who she is). It makes toxicity feel like part of their identity and thats harmful when it comes to trying to encourage someone to break a cycle
However, I noticed you refer to pearls toxicity as “toxic behaviors” rather than her being toxic herself. This sort of language allows her to be identified by her actions- actions being something that we can feel free to change.
When dealing with a person who is already delicate about being perceived as broken, I think it would help adjust how we think about them. Especially for all of the people identifying with Spinel.
Spinel isnt a toxic person. Toxicity isnt who she is. But she has toxic behaviors that can be changed. Language shapes our realities, it really does matter
(sorry im not good at articulating thoughts, but hopefully someone understands what Im getting at)
Antheia Wren this 👆
This right here 👏🏽 I completely agree. Toxic has such strong connotation so you wouldn’t want to call a person that. Like you said, it almost seems like an identifier for said person. But calling their behaviors toxic leaves room for being able to change those behaviors. Thank you for the comment!
You’re right, toxic behavior doesn’t mean toxic person
I see where your coming from with how the word toxic is seen by others. However, I thought that someone with "toxic behaviors" was a generally nice person that every so often hurts by accident. And a "toxic person" intentionally goes out of their way to harm others.
I think your comment articulates your thoughts beautifully, thank you :)
no one:
pink diamond: “aight imma head out”
edit: this comment blew up omg
Pink diamond: Bye b*tch
Then pink diamond when the consequences of heading out catch up to her:
Aight imma imbed myself in a human baby
*6000 years later*
Pink is a black dad. If you know, you know.
@@october9762 oof i get it
"I think the reason this statement from Rebecca bothered people so much was because they took it personally."
Exactly!
Sirius Black: I did my waiting, 13 years of it!
Spinel: Hold my gem.
I DID MY WAITING
6000 YEARS OF IT
IN THE GARDEN
Rita Repulsa: AAAAAHHHH, AFTER 10000 YEARS I'M FR-
Spinel: { *sits down on the conveniently placed box* }
Omg why didn't I think if this! This is genius!
The thing about Pink and Spinel is tragic because the cycle of abuse. Pink was horribly abused by the other Diamonds and they took away PInk Pearl her first real friend and then made Spinel to replace her and I think subconsciously Pink resented her.
I think Pink became a better person after Eartn and especially after Greg and honestly her dying was probably the best thing to ever happen to Pearl as painful as it was at the start and while I dony thibn she intended it Steven was able to save the Gems from themselves
In a way I believe Spinel stood longer than usual because Pink put too much on the girl and it effected her. Thank goodness White apologized for what she did
T-T
I think another tragey lies in the fact that Pink was trying to be kind. We know even during her Homeworld time, she was still far more compassionate and friendly to the gems who served her than the other Diamonds. It is why most of the gems who knew Pink actually loved/liked her and not just admire and revere her.
Pink covering up her leaving Spinel
as a game of stand still is her trying to reject Spinel in a kind way.
"Who am I? Who am I? What are you even saying? I'm the loser in the game you didn't know you were playing."
No one knew anything about this Gem except Pearl and that's when she flew into a rage.
as someone whose been in spinels place before, she is absolutely toxic
when I was abandon by my friends, when I felt like I had no one, I was absolutely toxic. the first chance of friendship I got I latched on so hard that it hurt both of us so much. despite knowing better, I got so very sad when she would literally just live her life. going to sleep, going to school, going out with other friends, or even just not talking to me in general, it all felt so painful to me because it was like taking away food from a person who had been starving for so very long. I would try to hide my upset aswell, because I knew it was unreasonable. this just resulted in me getting worse and worse to the point I'd try to gaslight her and even threatened suicide if she left me. that is incredibly toxic, the fact I was hurting did not excuse my actions and how I hurt others. the fact that spinel has trauma and that her actions are understandable doesn't make them right. the reality of abandonment, lonliness, and isolation is not pretty. it doesn't just turn you into some poor sad little person who just wants friends. it breaks you and turns you into something so very *desperate* and destructive, both towards yourself and others. it's not pretty, but it's the reality
it was so cathartic to see spinel. because there was finally a representation of someone that went through lonliness that I could connect to. thankfully I've become a lot better and I have wonderful friends now, but seeing spinel in all her toxicness feels very validating to me. if someone who also went through the same thing wants to interpret her differently then that's fine, neither of us are wrong. but I feel like to debt the fact she is toxic isn't true to the actual character. she hurts so many people around her and damn near destroys the planet. take that how you will, but that's a fact
also rebacca wasn't victim blaming. victims can become abusers too. infact, it's really common for us to do so. all the people who have abused me have been abused themselves. I thankfully didn't stay one, but I too was an abuser at some point. that's not victim blaming, that's painting a very real situation that happens to so many people. stop trying to paint such nuanced topics in black and white
As a person who suffer from BPD, I can understand Spinel very, amost TOO well. And I aggre with everything you say, I did the same mistakes as her and I did hurt a lot of people and myself, this words hurts so much but they are true... the only thing that I can say is that you don't exactly CHOOSE to have toxic behaviour, in a mad way (and is still not a justification) your brain tells you that you are in fact doing the right thing, that you are being reasonable, your reaction is the right one and that are other people that just can't understand how bad the situation is!
And you just NEED to make them understand, they HAVE to feel your pain, your struggle, yes cuz in that moment you think that is wrong that you are the only one suffering even if you did not do anything bad, but also cuz you think that in this way they'll feel sympathy for you, if they feel your pain they will never leave you alone, right?
They can't leave after seeing how much you are suffering, but... even if that happend, even if they stay, even if they offer you theyr help you get mad cuz all they can say is to search for help, to work on yourself, to make an effort and try to change (which make you feel unlovable, just as you tought), and all of this are good advices but they all sounds like "is YOUR foult, YOU are the wrong one, YOU have to make an effort while the person who did all of this to you is happy and don't care anymore!"
It hurts. It hurts so bad that you have to go through all of this even if you are innocent, even if you are the victim, you never asked to be left behind and still you have to push yourself and feel the struggle of being broken, and when you ear that the only one who can really help you is yourself then you think IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
But... life is not fair. And you have to accept that your abuser will never come back and heal you, nobody will ever heal you with theyr love, you cry and cry, get angry with everyone bust mostly with yourself cuz is seem like you are just not able to give and receive love in a normal way. Spinel in her "good" form was so attached cuz she already felt left out from a group of friends, she wanted to be loved, she needed to be, but she did not fit if not with Cotton candy Garnet, but just cuz Garnet didn't have her memories, like a blank page, while the others did never wanted do be Spinel friends even when she was good cuz they could feel tha she was so desperate that they felt uncomfortable.
Okay I'm crying so I think I have to stop, sorry for this mess and thank you for the video. I cried a lot the first time I watched it, you explained everything very well!
I know that this was written years ago, but I just wanna say that this was wonderful to read. Thank you.
I really liked your interpretation of this, I think it is spot on. I think Spinnel's relationship with pink is a good demonstration of the cycle of abuse. The diamonds abused pink, so pink went on to abuse others (especially early on before she learned to be more compasionate). In turn, Spinnel went on to try to do the same. Having dealt with the generational cycle of abuse myself (at least for the last 3 generations) this is a perfect example of how if you do not deal with your trama, you will just pass it onto others. The scariest thing for me was realizing, shortly after I left the abusive enviorment, that I had begun to act in ways much like my father. I had internalized all the messed up things about relationships that he had taught me, and have had to clock some serious hours in therepy to unlearn so many toxic habits I didn't even realize I had. I think you can see a similar thing with pink; I think she treated spinnel that way because she learned from the other diamonds that that is just how you treat other people, as things to be used and discarded. It was only once Pink and Spinnel recognized how their actions hurt others (or the planet/humans/organic life) and formed loving, healthy relationships that they could begin to heal and change. I really want to think pink tried not to be like the other diamonds, and tried to distance herself from them. But she didn't quite get there and hurt people on the way to learning her lesson. Unfortunately, she was never able to be held accountable for her actions (though neither were the diamonds tbh). Similarly, my father passed on his trama, even though he did try to be better (and probably was to a certain degree) than his parents. While I do very much identify with Spinnel, I know from experience that being able to understand this cycle and the way you impact others is the only way to break it. You have to be responsible for your actions and make a concentrated effort; it's a very nuanced thing to navigate but I feel that it is portrayed pretty accurately.
I think when she met Greg was when she was held accountable for something for the first time. And it's what she needed to be better then she was.
This is called intergenerational trauma.
* slow clap with tears sliding down my face *
"This is beautiful!"
I'm also dealing with generational abuse. It's really difficult, but I'm trying to overcome my own mental health issues and break the cycle
I just read an entire book on scycolagy in one coment
I watched this movie, and didn't realize how much my relationship was like Spinel's. My ex told me that we'd get better for each other, two years later, literally yesterday, I found out he cheated on me with this new girlfriend that he had already moved on. While I tried to improve myself for him and wait patiently, he had already dropped me. His way of "playing games" was occasionally leaving me messages of how much he wanted to fix things and get back together. So I continued waiting.
Too much to get into, but basically, I found out he cheated and I confronted the girl and him. And they basically spat in my face and lied to me.
I feel used and sad and I understand the route Spinel took. Abandonment sucks. A lot. How do I get rid of this pain? But I don't want to hurt people, like she says, I just want to love. Why did I have to suffer like this.
I am already seeing a therapist, but I don't know what else I can do to make this hurt go away. Is it my fault for being naive and trusting. Why. All I can ask is why?
VideoPankake hey honey ;-; I know it’s not what you wanna hear right now, but their actions don’t determine who you are. You probably didn’t do anything wrong and even if you may think you did, their actions were totally toxic and uncalled for. It’s gonna heal with time I promise. You may not forget but one day you’ll remember it as if it was one of those meh moments in life, without any attachment at all. It’s brave and strong that you’re getting therapy for your emotions and I know I don’t know you but I’m proud of you okay? Don’t try to force positivity, when the feelings come, cry them and let them go, as long as it takes, okay?
You can keep me updated if you’d like someone to be with you in these times :) I’m rooting for you and I promise these things of the heart will fade away with time, Healing and support.
@@tylee3479 I feel bad for u and love hurts but sometimes u gotta stand up for yourself and ik I've been heart break like 1 time
I'm so sorry that happened I feel like I'm pretty naive myself it takes awhile to figure someone out. You did nothing wrong, hope therapy helps.
@@fantasticnerd7978 true
It’s good that you know that you should not Vent out your anger on to anyone.
It’s good that you know what not to do and that can lead you on the right path
It’s good to know that your relationship is toxic and it’s good that you got out of it honestly I can’t give you any advice but it’s still good to know what not to do and it can help you figure out what you should do
spinel is relatable to a lot of people. i love that Sugar based the story off of a character suffering from abandonment trauma, especially since it's quite a sensitive topic.
This movie healed a long dormant scar in my heart.
For a year I was abused both emotionally and mentally by someone I considered to be my best friend. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion of my own and had to go along with everything they thought with no objections. If I stepped out of line, I was personally attacking them and they would snap at me in an instant. I knew this person was hurting me, but I couldn't split it off because I was afraid of being made out as 'the villain'. For months I was driven into emotional meltdowns, often during which I begged them to leave me because 'i wasn't good enough'. They always played this off as me being self-loathing and, at the end, me attempting to guilt trip them, but in truth it was just how they had forced me to consider myself. They had only made me out to be horrible and not good enough, and I genuinely believed that about myself.
My cowardice and my inability to cut that relationship off for my own good lead to them finally getting fed up with my inadequacy. If they couldn't 'fix' me, I wasn't worth their time. It was easy for them to use every meltdown I had, every one that they had pushed me into breaking down, to paint me as a guilt tripping demon, and say that I was the one who was abusive, I was the one who was manipulative, and I was the one who 'needed help'.
I knew that wasn't the case, but for the 3 years since, I've struggled deeply with accepting myself as better than what they saw. The first two years were honestly kind of crappy. But this last year has honestly been amazing. I finally met a friend group that I have no real problems with. There is no discourse, no arguments... when we disagree, we agree to disagree and leave it at that. And. That was a huge thing I had struggled with ever since my 'best friend' had left me. Even now I surrender at the mere sign of an argument. Not because I agree, but because for the last 3 years I was genuinely convinced my own opinion was wrong and harmful, and I was all too eager to push it down just like everything else. I still struggle to have opinions on things to this day. I have difficulty in social situations because I will flee at the slightest bad experience because I'm not willing to put myself in that kind of position again.But I think the friend group I have now really marked a new era for me. When this movie came out, I watched it, and Spinel's story cut deep. It’s rare for fiction to make me so emotional, but... It just hit home, and it hit home hard.
I think about how close I was to being like Spinel. How many times I very nearly snapped on my other friends because of how deeply that person had scarred me. I often struggled with the need to defend myself from arguments, but the only way I was ever able to was to lash out myself. I felt that if I they seemed to want a bad guy so bad, I might as well be the bad guy if I was such a crappy friend. I was tempted, and tried, so many times to run away from that friendship because it truly felt like I was headed back down that road, and I didn’t want to stick around to be ‘the bad guy’ a second time. I’d rather end a friendship on a bitter note and drift away than have the falling out I did with my old friend.
I regret hurting those people so much. I know I never put them through anything like what that person had done to me, but I still feel like the scum of the earth about it today. Trauma and abuse is no excuse to mistreat others. Be better than the person who hurt you. If they didn’t have the patience for you, make sure YOU have the patience for others. But that also doesn’t mean you should hurt yourself further.
When things look bad, it’s good to cut them off. It’s better to end on a sad note and with good outlooks than it is to end with a nuclear fallout like I did. But you should never do that in the moment. If you still want out after cooling down, consider breaking things off. Your mental health is more important than pleasing others. Your opinion matters. You are not a bad person. Abusers will tell you what they want you to think, and you will not hear the truth from them.
And...
I want to thank my friend Daniel for starting a new time in my life.
Thank you for taking me out of my shell. Thank you for being there for me.
Thank you for sticking around when I was feeling sad. Thank you for listening to my feelings and telling me they mattered. You’ve been what I needed for a long time.
If I could send a message to myself in the past. I would want me to know that everything would be fine.
You mean everything to me. I’m still afraid that we might end up not being friends in the future. I will always be afraid of that with anyone I care about. But please know that no matter how I get, the last thing on my mind would ever be hurting you. You made me whole again.
Thank you for letting me be me again.
This is beautiful! I hope you're feeling better. I wish you the best of luck!
Mellocide Wowie. That almost made me cry. I’d love to be a new friend!
Read your story two years after you wrote it. Truly splendid. I applaud you, and I also with you the very best in life :)
Not saying she's completely innocent but really pink leaving her behind ouch
Pink getting locked in a tower and hinted at getting hit is awful too but like everyone wants to call her a Villian. Everyone b complex
Gaby Nava i honestly never saw Pink Diamond’s treatment as abuse, but as really strict parenting. When I was little I used to get slapped and even get hit with belts when I misbehaved. But that also helped me to be more conscious about my actions and be more mature. Pink Diamond was just too childish and had such spoiled personality, that she never learned from her actions’ consequences. She kept misbehaving making the other diamonds give her stronger consequences. Furthermore to be honest, being locked in a room isn’t as bad as being threatened to get kicked out of the house, or your parents being disappointed in your decisions.
I think in pink diamonds case she was clearly oblivious to others and how she made them feel. She didnt necessarily want to hurt anyone, she approached everything from an angle a child would, with little to no care about reprecussions of their actions , that's the whole point of Steven's story, learning the pain caused by his ignorant mother's actions. Spinel was hurt and feels pain and wants to project that pain onto others because she feels its deserved. Both have reason to be upset but neither had reason to hurt others because of those reasons.
@@Artsylex Pink was still an independent person and rather than looking at the situation as a child in time out imagine your partner locking you in a basement.
John Doe you really haven’t seen a Hispanic parent now have you.
2019: year of the best villains ever
Spinel is not the villain Punk diamond is the villain lol
Neither of them are. No one is in Steven Universe.
She’s not a villain
M o o n l i g h t S K Y Yeah she is died
M o o n l i g h t S K Y Pink diamonds died
Perfect. You broke this down very well.
SU has always shown a range of characters dealing with pain. Spinel must be understood in contrast to Lapis, to Pearl, to Greg, and so on. This context is so important that the film opens by recapping every main character's journey so that we're freshly reminded.
I've seen claims that SU is teaching people "you MUST act this-and-this way towards people who abused you" when that's obvious laughable nonsense on even a casual viewing. It's *extremely* nuanced. Lapis never forgives or gets back together with Jasper; their last interaction is her insisting "leave me alone" and her boundary is respected. *And then* Lapis reconciles with Peridot - on her own terms, having decided this person/relationship is salvageable and the other is not.
And then in the film, Steven has chosen to work with the Diamonds on a particular project (in this case, a crash course in dismantling armies and learning to say please and thank you to cough *equal* life forms), but firmly establishes his own boundaries. I enjoy that the movie is bookended by him maintaining his independence from them with a kind but firm NO.
This video kinda feels like a therapy session. I haven’t been through many traumatic events but I still feel like you don’t have to go through something traumatic to be toxic. Having low self esteem can make you a toxic person because you feel like if you don’t deserve to be confident neither should someone else. And I am speaking from experience. Opening your heart to change can be hard but it’s never impossible. I really love this video
Steven Universe has actually helped me make some mental, and personal progress since I've started watching it. That's one thing I've always loved about stories in general, but SU has a good thing to it.
I think Rebecca actually has stated the reasons that Pink left her behind: One half of it was because of her being grating, and the other half being that she felt she needed to move on and simply didn't think of how telling her to stay in the garden would affect her (most likely just thinking she'd eventually come to her senses and leave).
I definitely agreed with your interpretation of Spinel- I have heard that she might appear in Season 6, so I'm hyped to see how her development might continue (as she has more growing to do)!
I know Spinel was annoying but then again who programmed her that way
@Ranbummerz
Probably the Diamonds. I actually have a mini-theory. Spinel was supposed to be PD’s playmate, so they gave her traits similar to PD! Since the Diamonds saw Pink as annoying, immature and clingy they made Spinel also like that. But unlike Pink, Spinel couldn’t grow up, and from there Spinel’s sad backstory begins.
She was also probably meant to replace Pink Pearl at the time to keep her busy. Her real best friend. The relationships may have been similar, but the bond wasn't as strong.
That was my interpretation of why Pink left her, so I'm glad to see that I was right. I don't think Pink really thought critically about what this could do to Spinel, and she should've just been honest with her. I think Spinel would still be hurt, but she would've gotten over it. Don't know if I'll cover that topic ever though, just because it's a difficult one to cover without sounding like I'm justifying what Pink did.
@@Julie-tk3vy Exactly! That was a rhetorical question on my end. I feel like it's cruel to program someone a certain way then abandon because THEY don't like THEIR creation after a while.
Abuse can hit a level of intensity where it is impossible to articulate how hurtful it is without hurting yourself even more.
As someone who suffers from neglection from my own parents. I believe that Rebecca sugar did an amazing job representing abandonment issues because I have to go through a days not wanting to hurt someone because of my pain I've always seen people who had perfect families and that why can I have that or why can't I have that I feel like spinel was greatly represented as someone who did suffer from abandonment but she also represented the struggles that come with being abandoned a lot of people who have been a banded want to take their anger out on people I'm one of those I want to take my anger out of people but I know better I lash out on accident I shout I yell I scream but it never feels like I get heard by my parents so I want to take that and force it on the others but I realize that it's not right and has found someone who's able to help me out my beautiful girlfriend(yes I am also a girl fight me)
She has helped me so much but most importantly she understands that I have to struggle through having panic attacks almost everyday she's been there for me no matter what and I wouldn't ask for anyone better. Now that I'm much more better in my mental health I realized my actions on lashing out to others was extremely toxic and I should have done it I used to be such a toxic person and in all honesty I'm happy I met her because now I have changed for the better
Ezzy edits I when with the sort of the same thing just that when I stay with my dad his family would make fun of my looks which gave me really bad self esteem which 4 years later I’m still dealing with it
@@mooptom2599 I would always call fat on my entire family I just didn't mention it but yeah I hate my family but just so you know I bet you're very pretty and from what it hears you sound like a great person and I am truly sorry that's happened to you
Ezzy edits thanks u you sound like a person who would be a great person and a great firend... people that make fun of other people ain’t happy with them selfs. But that’s their fault for not seeing what a true person looks like In the inside. We just just turn are heads away from them and aim them high and just being yourself. ❤️
@@mooptom2599 everyone should be able to be their self and not have to deal with negative comments but sadly society has built itself to think that you have to look like a certain person or that you have to look a certain way to be accepted when in reality we're all just humans living on a planet and we all have to socialize with each other and try to get along
Ezzy edits yea I hate when people think we have to be skinny we have to look pretty I hate it so much that why I love Steven universe so much because there isn’t that type of people or gems there real life looks like with the episode with the kindergarten and amethyst saying she was a mistake I felt that so much in my heart that one of my favourite episode
Pink: I’m gonna go buy cigarettes
You know the rest
*[actually it was milk]*
Pink Diamond hi my fav character
@@pinkdiamond9435 i knew you were getting milk from the store
This literally Steven Universe: Toy Story....or the whole entire plot of the Toy Story Saga...It’s a toy’s worst nightmare.
Pink was given a new “toy” to play with, (as Spinel was literally created to be Pink’s Best Friend) and once Pink got older (figuratively), and people were starting to take her seriously, she no longer had a use for her. She was just tossed out and forgotten. A toy’s worst nightmare. Creating all these happy memories w/ their owner, thinking that they are more than that, only come to find out that they weren’t. She was just a phase, just like any toy. Kind of like Lotzo’s story from ToyStory 3.
I think Spinel is the character that best embodies depression out of all Steven Universe characters, even more than Blue and Lapis.
When I first saw Spinel, I nearly had a heart attack, with how much I relate to her trauma.
Heck, look at my avatar, been using this OC for years.
I honestly feel like I relate to Spinel more than any other character I have ever seen. Yeah, she is toxic. I hate it when I'm toxic, I always feel like I'm never good enough for friendships or any praise. Making friends has always been such a difficult thing for me, peopme would often use me, hate me before getting to know me, and/or never interested in me as a person. All of this made me think that no one would ever want to be friends woth me, especially when everyone always blows me off for someone else.
I've been dealing with the same thing for years. sometimes I think that I should've allowed myself to commit suicide like I always wanted years ago.
I'm not trying to recommend that course of action though. honestly, my life has gotten a lot better and I'm glad I stayed, but I get really down a lot still. I should probably go see a doctor before it gets worse.
@@wooby4104 i really thinck you should, because i have been dealing with the exact same stuff as you and zeno and terapy atleast for me , has been a huge life, even my docter just says "im really sorry that that happend to you" because sometimes even that helps , because it shows you that it's not something that just happens and its not your fault
You forgot about Sapphire in the beginning cuz Rose lied to her
Lapis Lazuli And Jasper
I didn't forget about anyone, there were only so many characters that were in the scene. I'm pretty sure Rose has hurt more than half the cast realistically.
*_[oh, hi again]_*
Ruby [Doc] hello there
Ruby [Doc] AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN
I think spinel is the best villain of 2019 no joke
Hot take... I dont think Spinel was toxic because atleast the crystal gems had some type of moral support such as Steven and eachother, while she was left alone with no one to keep her company and pain for, mind I add you, THOUSANDS OF YEARS. I think anyone other than Spinel would turn mad crazy and filled with rage with years of abandonment. Rose was her only "friend", while for Pearl after rose was gone, she had Garnet, Amethyst, and Steven. She wasnt abandoned like the way that Spinel was from Rose.
What you have to understand is that Pink abandoned Spinel before she became a leader and lost her immature personality. I'm sure in later years she regretted leaving Spinel, but thought there was no going back from that. That's how I see Pink. Character development exists for a reason you know. Plus, Pink/Rose making all those mistakes prove that the Diamonds aren't immune to imperfection as they believed.
Well, she still had her ship...
@@missconstruct6968 How would she know it was safe? You really think she would risk going into Diamond territory just for Spinel where she could get caught?
@@noahmadrigal162 If Rose could get away with fighting a war against herself, I think she could risk the odds 😂
Those odds were too great and clearly not one she was willing to take. Remember Rose's Scabbard.
Considering that Spinel is based off of a toy that Rebecca herself left and forgot in the garden, I would argue Pink eventually forgot that she was there. As someone else in the comments pointed out, she probably figured Spinel would figure out she wasn't coming back and eventually leave and liberate herself. I don't think she intentionally hurt Spinel, but it was still an action that was nonetheless immature and hurtful. She grew, sure. But I would argue she didn't really change into who she wanted to be until she met Greg.
"Better off now than they were before." 11:49
I had two freinds I worked so hard to keep for so many years. Met them in elementary school, transferred schools until returning in high school. I tried to keep them as freinds, but they didn't reciprocate. They let me be around, but never put any effort in. I don't have friends anymore, really, yet I feel better off because I'm not fighting a losing battle for something not worth having to begin with.
You probably have more friends then you realize, they just likely aren't how you previously imagined friend's to be. It's like how for the longest time, Steven didn't seem as good to pearl as Pink was. He was just a bi-product of her being picked over. Yet, overtime, Pearl began to love Steven as much, and soon more, then Pink because Steven Genuinely loved Pearl in a way Pink never really did. Take a look at the people around you and you might realize you have more friends and family then you ever thought you did. But, I do get your point. We often have certain ideas on what family or friendship is supposed to be, often due to how society as a whole perceives them, and when they don't meet our expectations, we're disappointed and hurt for a while. But eventually we either come to our own conclusions or come to peace that what you thought was true, wasn't, and your happier just avoiding it all together and generally moving on.
Either way, it's good you found peace in your own way. And we all have to find our own way.
thats one thing about friends, is it usually takes effort to keep up the friendship. idk how healthy it is but as of a social life at this point ill just go with the flow. if i fall out of touch with people, i dont really care anymore, if i see people i might want to be friends with, then try to make friends why not? i think im like a short term introvert long term extravert.
@@RikkuTakanashi I have freinds at work, but I don't hang out with them outside of work. It's why I said "I don't have freinds anymore, really,..".
I have "freinds", just not full fledged ones. Got lots of family! But, now that I think about it, I am best freinds with my eldest brother! But making new ones is really just taxing. I'm happy where I am right now. Thank you for taking the time to talk. And read a lot! >XD
Hey same! My two best friends left me to date eachother and my other friends are moving schools... so im gonna be forever lonely...
I’ve had a similar experience. Two friends I’ve known since childhood and didn’t realize how toxic they were acting towards me until high school. It really sucks especially because these were the only people I considered my friends at the time, and even though I knew that being around them hurt me emotionally, I felt like I couldn’t let them go because then I wouldn’t have anyone.
It may be hard to believe, but you will find friends eventually. Fortunately I have found some of those friends today, and I know that you will in the future! You shouldn’t think you’re incapable of finding friends because you just haven’t found them yet
Spinel is one of if not the best examples in animation of a mentally abused victim lashing out at the people she sees as responsible. She still acts like a villain, but she is still a victim as well. When you are as mentally damaged as she was, where she believes that she can't change for the better and believes that everyone is going to abandon you sooner or later, you force others away and then when they do abandon you, you feel just justified in treating others like garbage because they fulfilled your expectations that they were always going to abandon you. It's a self fulfilling prophecy and like Spinel it spirals out of control until YOU change your outlook and force yourself to change for the better and find people who you can trust and love. You can see Spinel trying so hard to hate Steven in the final battle, even to the point she is hitting herself to help maintain her anger and pain even though all Steven is trying to do is help until she has a complete breakdown and realizes what she is doing. Spinels recovery will take a long time, but her decision to stop fighting and her realization that she is making it worse are steps towards healing. While going with the diamonds may not be the best idea since it is Spinel entering a codependant relationship where the diamonds need her to remind them of pink and she needs them to have someone to entertain it is still a step towards healing as she is willing to open herself up to love, to be around people again, and risk being abandoned again. there will be backsliding like she did when she found Steven still had the regenerator, but that is one of the many hurdles in dealing with mental illness and abuse.
I think the issues that cause this is feeling absolutely helpless in an abusive situation. A lot of people often dismiss it and undermine it so often it's unreal. Especially if it's the parents. I agree it takes work from both sides, but from what I've seen and known. People let out so many cries for help and end up shutting down because they think. " Why talk to a wall if it doesn't talk back. " So many people make the mistake of shutting down other people when it comes to abuse.
The main issue is here that hurt people hurt people. And it's usually not a conscious decision, it's typically something subconscious that feels pleasurable or temporarily alleviates that pain and trauma that they carry. It's not based in rational or logic. Most people don't know how to fix themselves and will typically lash out at anyone they can (even if they're trying to help), even with a lot of sacrifice and patience from someone whole theirs no guarantee that someone damaged will recover.
Yes. And that applies to both Pink and Spinel.
I could have ended up just like spinel. I think with this character we see the bad effects of being left behind. In my heart I feel like spinel was a corrupted gem. She lost her purpose and made one for herself. That being destroy the one who had hurt her. She wasn't thinking about the consequences of her actions because all she could think of is hurt the one who hurt me.💔 Because pink wasn't around the next person in line was Steven and the gems. Sometimes when you get hurt by someone you love you think I deserved it. Spinel realizing that she is worth love through Steven actions is what made her realize that she is worth the love. You can't just get over the hurt overnight. The mindset that spinel was in takes time to get over. You have to realize who is to blame and that it wasn't your fault. It took me over 20 years to realize that what happened to me and my family wasn't my fault. What Rebecca has shown with this show is how people deal differently with trauma and how they deal with it. Some take it out on others, while others take it out on themselves. I love this show for bringing to light the different types of peoples pain and how they deal with it. This movie showed the really toxic ways people can deal with hurt.
Date Long!
Killa Pickle Pirate Panda , did you really write all of that?
Killa Pickle Pirate Panda wait i think i know you? Division bit heroes videos??? I’m very sorry to bother but i do believe i have met you before.
I just realized that Pink was the same as spinel. She felt worthless and abandoned. She was the smallest and youngest diamond and she had to endure the scorn of her maternal/sisterly equivalents whenver she stepped a toe out of line. More so, before the spinel situation, she had lost her original diamond, who, from that dream flashback we saw from steven on homeworld, seemed to support her very undiamond like behavoir. support and encourage her better nature.
Basically her true 'mother,' pink pearl was taken from her. And worse, turned into a disturbing voicebox for White diamond.
Steven Universe: The ongoing story of an enigmatic, unforgetable figure that left a huge impression on everyone she met, each of which knew her at different stages of her life... and how she changed/ruined each of them.
I just wanna say, this made me cry. Literally for so many years I've tried so hard to fix myself instead of just accept that something's wrong. I have BPD and in many ways act just like Spinel. I react toxicly to current situations depending on my past. And I thought well and hard about this. I need to get better. I have to get better.
Thank you for helping me see this
Best of luck on your journey to recovery! ♥️♥️
Pink: I've got a game for you
Spinel: ok!
Pink: You, sit still. And wait here. while I, go over there.
Spinel: Ok.
*Pink leaves*
Spinel: This is a good game.
*years later* Spinel: She'll come back
*many years later* Spinel: Is she?
*So many years later the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one* Spinel: She's not coming back.
The most messed up part to me is the fact that if Spinel DIDNT lash out and hurt others, she would have never gotten the help she needed.
A lot of people who identify with spinel, myself included, dont get the opportunity to get help because we have things like morals standing in our way, so we dont want to hurt others, so instead of being mad and lashing out, we just bottle the feelings up and nothing ever happens but more damage to our self worth.
Im just musing on the fact that as humans, we lash out and get angry when we are wronged as an evolutionary action to get help and let us grow and move forward. Its like the movie "inside out" where they realize at the movies end that being happy about everything isnt always the right way to deal with stuff. we need to be sad to signal those around us that we need help. I think anger and the "toxicity" mentioned works in a similar way.
What exactly was spinel supposed to do in the garden after everything? just...stay? or go to earth and join the new gem colony? Would she tell others where she was and what happened to her? would they even listen? Sometimes we have to be drastic to call attention to the pain we are in so others can understand the severity of whats happened to us. Simply telling someone isnt always enough. It doesnt convey the pain accurately enough to let others get it.
We should be allowed to process our feelings in the way we first react. If something makes you angry, be angry. But when the time comes to make the decision to keep being angry and hold on to the hate, we can let it consume us, or learn to move on. And this is admittedly hard to do by oneself. Often the reason we lash out in the first place is because we need help. But we dont all have someone like steven in our lives willing to be understanding and help us move forward, so damage is inevitable. Thats why most turn to self harm like drugs or alcohol, mostly in the "bad" neighborhoods where there is no counseling, no responsible adults or figures to help children understand their feelings, so it just leads to more destruction in society like theft, child abandonment, poverty, and other "scummy" things higher society judges them for. Its easy to judge others by the bad actions they do, but it takes a specific type of empathy to realize why the bad things people do are happening in the first place. Thats why a lot of school bullies often have really bad home lives themselves, the bad actions we take are often a cry for help.
Moral of the rant; We need more people like steven in the world. Try to be the kind of person willing to help others project how they really feel, then help them overcome what they been through. Being understanding is hard, but empathy is one of the best qualities that make up a truly good friend.
so are you saying her hurting others was justified???
@@0rangeeige199 not at all, but it’s like you weren’t paying attention to what I was saying. The point is that when someone lashes out and hurts others, there is usually a reason that’s deserves to be addressed. It takes a special kind of person to have enough empathy to see that and try to help in spite of their sins. If they don’t listen, they are probably too far gone. We need to address these issues when we are young so we have a chance to change and prevent future hurt to others. It’s never ok to hurt others, but hurting the one who caused that pain should only be the solution in most extreme cases.
i know right???????
"Trying to help someone who doesn't wanna help themselves."
Now try being raised by and living with, a Mother that struggles with this same issue smh
Feeling like nobody will want you because of your damage and trauma and self sabotaging yourself despite being so freaking sad about it. Yep. 100% me.
I like both versions of Spinel. Her old form is adorable. She’s just so happy and pure I love it. She’s like Bubbles. Who’s also my favorite PPG. 💙 yeah she might be clingy but I feel like her purpose is to make the gems around her happy. Like how pearls are supposed to be servants to their gems. So it’s just in her nature. Not trying to justify anything wrong she did but also trying to put in a perspective. Her new form is kinda relatable. I think we’ve all had a point where we’ve just lost faith in humanity. I know I have. But yeah I like Spinel. 💙💖
Same i like Spinel!She's my fav :)
GilArcher well it’s a proven fact generosity makes you a happier person. I actually tried that when I found out and I felt great. But that’s just me it’s really up to you. I just know that the world really needs some kinder people so I try to be one myself. 💙💖
:)
GilArcher dude you need to get that checked before you tell someone that and they’ll listen not good to have a guilty conscience
I honestly broke down during movie seeing spinel's pain, its sad that I relate to it.
I had a group of friends whom I was close with. I don't know what I did wrong but one day they kicked me out and let a person that they barley knew in the group. It hurt so much I used to have nightmares of them abandoning me. My best friend that we grew up together was in that group, she didn't invite me to her birthday parties anymore and when I'd ask she'll make excuses why she couldn't invite me. I keep thinking to myself "maybe there is something wrong with me." I felt that I wasn't needed anymore. I'm tired of being used and disappointed in my relationships.
What if you
Wanted to go to Earth
But Pink Diamond said
“Let's play a game”
This hits me in the feelings. I was in a toxic relationship too. For four years. They were so toxic no that I look back. They were my first love. They would come and go for months on end. I didn't realize that they went to other people. I tried to get back in touch him. It happened for years. Then I realized that they didn't love me at all. They used me. I was so hurt. I wanted to hurt them so much. I was toxic too. I lashed out at people sometimes when everything that i had bottled deep me. If I hurt people I didn't mean too. I love Spinel so much.
You see unfortunately this Is a normal reaction the reason why I say unfortunately is because everybody takes things differently however the very 1st thing we think of when we get hurt is revenge it can't be helped we are human it's a part of our being Sadly these days it goes further and goes on longer than we realize so back to my original Point unfortunately it is a normal reaction to an action Maybe not healthy maybe not wise but sadly normal at least to me it is
I don't really like how it ended. I think spinel should learn to love herself and become more independent before getting into that depended relationship on the other diamonds
Speaking personally, loving yourself after suffering mental illness or a harmful relationship is something monstrously difficult to do alone. Being in an environment where you can feel safe that the people around you do care about you can give you time to build yourself back from that hole.
@@Meman50000 You have a point. Though it may be a temporary fix, if Spinel can take a few more steps toward recovery during her time with the Diamonds, it will have been worth the risk. I just hope they won't screw her up too bad.
I just think it was simple miscommunication. People probably thought that Rebecca meant Spinel was toxic DURING her relationship with Pink. I still don't really like the aspect of making her being annoying as a character trait. It kinda rationalized Pink to abandon her, and Steven to shoo her of to the Diamonds. Like the story never changed the aspect of her being just a toy.
2 years late but I think a lot of them knew she was referring to Spinel during her villain state. It's just that like Spinel they have a mind-set where your trauma justifies abuse that you can give to others which isn't the case at all, it's because so many of them identify/relate with spinel ( and i do too )
spinel deserves so much more than just being abandoned and forgotten.
The beginning though
Spinel mirrors CPTSD or BPD and its painful and powerful to see. I can barely get through anything about her without sobbing.
I deal with these issues every day. I have PTSD due to abandonment as a child, and I’m so happy this subject is portrayed In any light at all. Spinnel is someone I can relate to so heavily I can’t listen to drift away without getting a trigger. Even though it’s a bittersweet character for me I’m just overjoyed people now have more information about people who have to go through this like me. It’s so easily to fall into this pit of anger for everyone and everything. Abandonment is no excuse to hate and distrust everyone. (this is me basically talking to my past self) this is something I struggle with every single day.
Thank you Steven universe for making her.
"Being abused does not give you the excuse to abuse others" is an important lesson that some seriously need to learn.
I dropped out of the Steven Universe fandom ages ago, but I still pop in from time to time. As soon as I learned about Spinel, I smiled because 1) her villain song is a heckin’ BOP and 2) I saw what she represented and I knew that was going to be really important for a lot people
*_[Aw, poor Spinel... good video, though... but now I'm sad again...]_*
How come I never saw this video until now?
Steven Universe is basically a show about emotionally damaged people making more emotionally damaged people
and I love it
Spinel is like, the most accurate representation of repressed trauma that I've ever seen. The scene where Steven says, "I'll be right back" and spinel yells "No!" Like, I've literally, done that... Multiple times. And like, at the concert, when everyone is flying and saying and having fun while she's on the ground, and she looks sad and panicky. Like, I've literally done that! Like, something is triggering me, and I don't understand that that's what's happening, so I just sit there thinking, "why am I getting so upset? Why is the seemingly totally random and harmless thing making me so upset? I don't understand, why am I so sad and anxious because of this thing?" Like, too real man.
Damn, Spinel is one of those characters I cried about. The 1st two were Pearl and Lapis. A lot of my friends left me, because they thought I never took anything seriously, and that I was careless. And what was going on around my family. Becoming a better person is a hard thing for me to do...
This hurts a lot, when this continues for a long time...
Toon Ruins: Toxicity
Me: THATS RIGHT I HEARD THE STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have a special place in my heart for Spinel. She was always a cool and interesting character before, but when my best friend watched this with me, I felt the true wait of everything she went through.
My best friend was abandoned very similarly to Spinel, but under different circumstances. These circumstances led to her having nowhere else to go and moving in with me. She was very much like Spinel with all the pain that she covered with anger, and so she related to her on a very personal level. She always told me, "I don't know what I would be like if you didn't help me during those times. When my own family chose themselves over my without hesitation. If I didn't have the love and support from you and your family, I could habe been like just like Spinel."
My best friend never really had an interest in SU, but when we watched the movie, it was one of the first times I ever saw her cry. Now she has her own copy, and adores the movie very much.
Thanks for you're amazing content as always
Steven : Is there’s any other gems my mom hurt that I should know about??
*Spinel intensifies*
That opening was so funny.
As someone once said: "Our past doesn't define us who we are. Its our present and future and what we do in that time define us."
The path of recovery from toxicity and trauma begins with a single step, but you're going to have to accept and want that change. Otherwise, you'll stay the same.
The irony though is that the past will definitely shape us. Accept the past or reject the past, try to make it positive or sink in the negativity, whichever you can muster to do, the past still shapes you, and in way, becomes part of what will define you.
Great video! I wanna add to your points that... I think the fact that she went from one person (pink diamond, steven) to three people (the diamonds) makes a huge difference too. It allows all of them to have a balance of each other rather than Spinel relying on one person to give her all that love (or give all her love to them).
I think the movie’s conclusion reflects a more realistic, healthy way people work with relationships. Not to you can’t have someone you know longer and/or know better and/or more romantically than platonically, but I’ve found opening myself up to others than relying on one person (and putting them on a pedestal) can help with pressure on both ends. Like, spreading out your love equally, healthily to more people is better than to focus it solely on one person. It takes emotional weight off of you and them ☺ More options and perspectives and love from those options and perspectives, the better!
although ive never suffered abandonment... ive been hurt by bullying and spinel helped me realize not to inflict the pain I'm feeling onto others... honestly I can see my toxicity now and I'm sad...
I think it is also important to point out that it wasn’t until Spinel had a support that she could process her pain. She didn’t yet have the perspective of another person to say “it is awful this happened to you!” Or “you’re right, this was so hurtful.” Once her feelings were validated, then could she make the choice to get better. And it’s important to note that not everyone who experiences trauma immediately has that support and can’t yet experience that validation, except for what they think themselves. Once a third perspective is introduced, it becomes easier, but by bit, to process your pain. It just so happened that, unfortunately, Steven was related to PD, making him PD in a sense, so taking out her frustration, believing he was still PD (as most of the gems and the diamonds thought) would make “sense”. But it was Steven’s supportive side that helped her realize that her feelings were valid, and that he wasn’t PD, just Steven, so it wasn’t a good idea believe he was responsible
11:30 “Amethyst doesn’t really hurt others either”
11:33 - scene in which Amethyst directly terrorizes Greg
Just a small nitpick of mine though. Still an all-around great video
Plus how about when she got upset at Peridot for not having fun at the boardwalk and tried to throw her tablet, a gift she'd gotten that day, into the ocean.
Amethyst fights pearl because she doesnt want s child to discover that she was a -mistake-
The people who lashed out at Rebecca for "victim blaming" have never had to deal with a broken person and it shows. People are allowed to have their traumas, their pasts and all the feelings and thoughts that comes with it. What they are not allowed to do is hurt everyone around them, making a conscious decision to be a toxic person. I have been both the aggressor and the helper. It's cost me a lot of happiness and some close relationships but I finally realize that you as the person who has suffered has to make the decision to get better. People are not obligated to deal with your shit, they aren't bound by contract to deal with your abuse.
It's one of those uncomfortable truths, really. Because to us, it *does* feel as people are obligated to deal with our shit, because we *do* hurt and because we *do* deserve better. But still, for all our hurt, for all our pain, we are not owed anything by others, even if we need it.
this
I can confirm, the circle of abuse is a real thing and no one should fall for it. Being hurt does not give you permission or justification to hurt others.
No, but it is harder for abuse victims to not abuse others since it's learned behavior.
Something my therapist says all the time
:its okay to have feelings, feelings are brought out from you, what it's not okay to do, is not take responsibility for them. You are responsible for your feelings and what you do with them. Period. Love spinel and her growth! She's amazing c:
Spinels story touches closely to my heart, everything you said in this video hits home... I’m toxic... I’m sad...
Before Spinel I most closely related to pearl, I don’t hurt others, not intentionally, but I close myself off to people because I don’t think I’m good enough, even though I’m loving and kind and accepting and understanding. My life cycle has been so complex. But I am trying to help myself and better myself but with all the things I tried nothing has helped. Because ultimately I’m alone.
Hope you get better. I'm glad you realize this and are trying to change
only if you hurt innocent people and refuse to or feel you can't change.
I'm in a similar place. I've found that therapy really DOES help. It might seem like you keep going to therapy, talking about stuff and nothing gets better, but in the long run you realize how helpful it has been. For me, this past year, I've been just going through life spending my time thinking about what happened to me. The more I think about it and untangle my story, write things down, talk things out about what happens, the more I *understand* what happened, and what affects that it had and has on me. That's probably the most important step. From there, you can start working on changing those patterns. Realize *why* you grew up feeling you were unlovable, and realize that isn't true. One thing she said in the video that stuck out to me was about how some people are abused when they're too young to understand that other people are responsible for their abuse, not you. You're not causing the abuse by being unlovable, they're choosing to abuse you. Realizing that is key. And over time, you start to understand that more and more, and eventually you'll know it instinctually. It takes a lot of time to heal. You might think nothing you are trying is working, but someday you'll realize how much those little efforts have helped.
I've been in your position before. It's so painful to feel like you're unwanted. But you *will* find someone better to spend your time with and you *will* get better. I know it really sucks right now, but once you realize that you do deserve love and joy, things will start to improve. It's a slow healing process for sure, but your mental health will get better along the way. I know I don't know your personally, but I genuinely want you to get better♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
PS: once I started therapy, my mental health improved a lot faster. I got to learn how to handle certain people and toxic situations, and I've only been going for a few months. If you need someone to talk to, message me via my CZcams channel
Pink diamond could have just told spinel to chill and not bug her.
I don't think Spinel would have understood in the least. You saw how she flipped when Steven tried to leave her be. You could argue that yeah, that was her memories starting to resurface, but the way she is "chill" could have meant "oh I chilled on ice and now it's playtime again!" At the most inappropriate time. Pink saw her as one of if not the biggest liability for running a colony
That and look at the facial expressions and body language during Drift Away
Steven could have just replicated Ranger Guy
Or at least found her a new playmate, so she wouldn't be alone.
I don’t think that is why Pink abandoned her tho. I believe it was because once Pink got her own colony she just had no need for the garden anymore. She brought Pearl with her because well, Pearl was her servant which if you notice in the movie Pearl understood that that’s all she ever was to Pink and accepted the fact that Pink isn’t all she was cut out to be in Peals mind. Pink isn’t a good person, period.
I think what makes pink diamond interesting is she plays the part of the abuser well. She never really feels consequences for her actions but everyone else does