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Duality of a Narcissist - How they can cheat and say they are loyal
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- čas přidán 22. 01. 2023
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
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#narcissism #narcissist #npd
They are not only pathological liars they are full-blown hypocrites. What’s good for the Narcissist is not always good for a empath.
Those who are saying that they’re narcissist didn’t cheat, are those who haven’t yet given up on their toxic narcissistic relationship. These guys/gals are still defending their narcissist! What’s happening is that they are coming to channels like this, getting the education on the subject, and then going back with that knowledge hoping that they will then be able to put together some perfectly put together words that will resonate with their narcissist and inspire them to change. That said, on a different topic. Empty threats guys is the worst thing that you can do. If that narcissist calls your bluff and you hang around after the fact, you will have no more credibility period. Don’t threaten to leave, etc. unless you are ready to follow through with that threat. Healing can only come about once one has given up on the idea that you can convince change in your narcissistic significant other. U can’t convince them. In fact, they will see you as the problem.
All narcissists cheat!!! Lol😂they kill
Me. They just haven’t caught them.
If he didn't get caught, it doesn't count. If he didn't admit it, it doesn't count. If he didn't go 'all the way' it doesn't count. If he failed to seduce them, it didn't count. If he started a fight with you right before, it didn't count. He broke it off, so it doesn't count anymore. So even though I have a list of names as long as my arm, he says he "never cheated." Lol.
THIS! 😂
Exactly you’re correct all Narcissist cheat because they think they are superior to everybody else a lot of times they do it to see if they can get away with it, the thrill of the game that’s what they do. Thrill seekers, adrenaline junkies. They know what they’re doing and they do not care if it hurts you.
An ex boyfriend sent me a text at 12 am asking me to sleep well and asked if I wanted to meet for breakfast the next morning, The text was meant for the other woman. I dumped him instantly. He was a narcissist.
The man believed to be narcissistic always said he was loyal to a fault . And yes he believes this despite cheating repeatedly . He is convincing because he does believe this to be true. Denial ..... is their comfort
Funny I just told my ex covert narc that after reading years worth of my journal entries that it was clear he cheated on me w men and women. With a straight face he kind of smirked (as if to say you’re so delusional) and denied it. I said you lie so much you believe your lies.
Thanks for the video.
My narcissistic husband, said well, I came home to you.
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Narcissist are loyal. They’re loyal to cheating lmao and really that isn’t a joke
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I was being called a liar and a cheat when all the whole I was loyal and what he accused me of was what he was doing to me smfh
As long as they dont get caught and you believe their outrageous bullshit lies, to them thats loyalty
That was exactly the story of my life when I was married to my ex narcissist husband he was physically at home but emotionally and mentally was gone.
5:25. I held up a photo of my husband (now ex) and his mistress. He said, “I wasn’t there”. 😂
😂😂
Oh, also deception & cheating can cause PTSD and C-PTSD, and a trauma therapist who deals with betrayal can be very helpful during recovery.
Thank you for your videos 🙏🏽 My ex narc did and said these same things to me to try and reassure me he was not cheating on me. He would always say “I’m
Home aren’t I? How can I cheat when I’m home? He was having his affairs on me during the day when I was working 🤣 Video calling her anytime I was overseas or not at his place. The duality… Exist in the narc.
Thank you for clarifying so well. This is exactly what had happened in my former marriage. I feel like throwing up when listening to this. How in the world could I had stayed with that devil for 14 years??? What you can do is leave. For me, this is the worst ever. All the aggression etc was nothing compared to the cheating and convincing that he was loyal- this is absolutely devilish. Disgusting. Anyway, I am glad that you have changed yourself.
I always say just because someone is loyal does not mean they are faithful just because they always come back to you does not mean you are the only one I rather have a faithful man then a loyal one because then I will always be the only one
Try not to focus so much on a Word. These 2 particular words are pretty much interchangeable,, it depends solely on the individual
I said it to my ex, after I first found out she’s cheating we tried to make it work n she literally always kept seeing me so I told her dang u may not be faithful but u sure are loyal to me. I thought it was hot at the time but maybe I didn’t wanna admit to myself that deep down it was hurting. A year later I just ended it with her I couldn’t deal with her ways no more cuz she still wanted to be controlling n argumentative n plus the lies n belittling didn’t stop
Thank you so much for this video, Ben. Exnarc said he was not a cheater but yet there were signs he was cheating. Of course, when confronted, he went into a rage fits. That says it all.
One of her excuses for control was her anxiety. I was constantly accused or interrogated on a daily basis. However she had the social media and was getting attention from other men. I can't say if she cheated or not. But learning what I've learnt and knowing about projection I now can't be certain that she was faithful.
after all of this abuse I don't even know what it's like to have a loving normal relationship and I hope it exists but right now I don't know what to think or feel... it's a terrible place to be in
Me too
Same 🤗🤗 I figure I'll just give myself some time to heal and to learn what a healthy relationship is.
@@lorrainem8234 exactly I wish you the best you deserve it
Agreed
@@Libbylou77krtc That's sweet of you, thanks! I wish the best.
In my experience, she mostly used DARVO. Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.
She cheated after 8 years of relationship, but that's my fault. After all I said something that let her down 7 years ago.
Thank you for your honesty about how a narcissist sees their loyalty...and I thought MY reality was skewed while in my relationship...it's really a scary thing, the way they rationalize things away...I seriously do not want to even date now 😢
There are two groups..believers who admit and those living in their own reality..unbelievers
My ex lied to my face when I confronted her. I knew the answers to my questions I asked her. She either denied it outright or didn’t answer at all. I left soon after that. She moved this person in 2 days after i left. Then she texted me a few days after that some BS saying “she’ll never move on from me. our love was the greatest thing that’s ever happened to her” blah blah blah. All lies from these people.
Yep. Mine went to a concert once with a friend and i had wondered and asked when he was coming home, he said to me.. Look see im here and have to sit around all these girls and cant do nothing, but im coming home to you!! You should be grateful, Why are you worried about what time im coming home? .. Wtf!!!
When you said, "they might cheat in different ways."
Yeah, that was a very weak excuse but at least you became aware of how your infidelity was not being loyal to your wife and you stopped the behavior. The problem is the narcissists who continue to engage in this unsavory, decrepit behavior while pretending to be spiritual and righteous. It's mindblowing they believe it's ok to cheat when there's nothing ok about it. Sounds like becoming aware changed your and your wife's life for the better. Happy for you two and for sharing your healing journey with us. 💞
Thanks Ben, I thought of something else that I know others have experienced. It's a form of control & I think it's gaslighting too. Narcissists take your stuff, i.e. clothes, your personal legal papers, or just little things that may not be something you set your eyes on everyday, and throw them out, then lie about it, saying "I don't know what you're talking about" if asked. Destruction of personal property is against the law, but they don't seem to realize that's what they're doing. I heard one woman say that the narcissist relative who threw out or took a bunch of her clothes, when confronted, admitted it & justified her actions by saying that "those clothes didn't look good on you, so I did you a favor!"
The insanity of it all! Tripped himself up badly by saying, after one encounter: "This is what I do, I please women"...not "my woman" but a plurality. It always comes out. The evidence added up to enough doubt for me to leave and never look back. My heart still hurts terribly, I'll never trust anyone again, but at least I'm happy with myself again and at peace.
My Ex Narc lied when he didn't have to because when we first met and we were just friends I was a open book and I explained to him how much I hate when someone lies in my face or cheats I told him my past which for me was hard to talk about it was a touchy subject but I still was honest bout my whole life. I dealt with him for three years and I been apart from him for two years now and still know very lil bout him. Nothing he ever told me bout who he was as a person was True at all. He pretended all the way til he got tired of me figuring him out I read him very well and always knew when he was cheating and lien to me and it was driving him crazy that I knew bout the foul things he was doing to me
When i confronted my husband of 12 years about his bimbo at work, his reply to me was "loyalty" has nothing to do with it. 🤷♀️ He also said we were better off as "friends" Umm...no You were my enemy & supposed to be my husband. His entire being is a LIE
Even if it is just hiding their drinking or drug problems.. they are cheating on you!. Be cause those to things satisfy them in the same way as having sex with you or someone else. 😢 So sad yet so true.
If they're hiding drinking... guarantee they're cheating with another person
My ex would to give everyone around him everything his time, attention, focus, yes even finances. Stay gone for days and say he's not cheating. And would get mad when I ask how is he not cheating?
Narc had just been caught cheating, but told me I needed to teach my daughter about commitment, WHAT?!😂😂
The other good one is" i will never lie to you 😂😂😂😂" and at the same he is talking to 100 women on sicial media😂😂😂hey?!
so SPOT on for me.. Thank you Ben...
Very interesting!🧐
Thank you again for being honest about narcissists Ben! It means a lot and Is so helpful! I can't thank you enough!🙏💗
My boyfriend keeps telling me ,I look at other girls and talk to some😅😮 but even if I cheated ,I still love you but anyways I will never lie to you😮😂😂😂,and guess what🤪the truth is not the narcissist's friend😢
You didn't hold a gun to their head and force them to cheat on you if you did cheat 2 wrongs don't ever make a Right. So you cheating if you did does not give them justification to cheat on you. I never gave him a reason to cheat there's nothing I could say or, do to make him cheat on me. I chose to walk away because, I don't tolerate cheating in any type from anyone. It's total disrespect towards me I don't accept that from a guy. My logical mind can't accept it. My heart has to be shut down and I walked away from my x Narcissist. End of the Story. Now, I'm just left healing my heart from the bond and the heartache. I refuse to go back to him he's been defiled. It disgusted me. I'm better than him.
Same same same!!! That's a boundary i can't get over. Once that line is crossed, or the "seal is broken" on fidelity, it WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. narcs are narcs. If they can get away with it, they will. That's the weird thing to me. Their lack of empathy causes NO remorse, NO regret, NO guilt. Is that a person you want to stay with through your best or golden years? Not me. To look someone you supposedly love in the eye... Knowing you just put your piece in another woman several times? I can't deal with it. Too much. I'm out. Hope divorce comes through SOON. Tired of waiting.
@@lisamariegriffin2012 I hope and pray that your divorce comes through quickly too. It sucks to go thru this with guys who don't respect or, love you as you should be loved and respected. I'm sorry you're going thru this too.
Say that, lady!💛 Same..once he cheated on me, I walked. I never tolerate that. I can't trust you anymore and if I can't trust you, no point in being together.
If he cheats on you find a way to make him pay money ….he will leave you in peace after that ….you don’t need any man especially the one who cheats …..
So true
My ex.n started an argument over a silly thing. And then hé left. Blockt my on his phone. And that night hé cheated my with someone else. After a couple of years. When I found out That he cheated my with multiple woman. His excuus was. At the Time that i had sex with someone else. At that time. Whe did not had a relationship, so i didn,t cheat. WHAT.??? Now i know, that he started an argument. So that he could go to someone else. The...🤮
Omg both times I found out he was cheating he told me “she doesn’t exist”. I thought it was to gaslight me.
1000%.
Correction: social media and not 100 women but 1000 women😮
I just left my toxic relationship 3 weeks ago and am staying at a shelter for women of abuse right now. I literally lost my home and everything me and my kids owned our whole lives over this man within the last 3 years since I got with him and he trapped me wouldn't allow me to work or even leave his sight or I was doing something wrong I couldn't even see my kids on Christmas at my mom's without him claiming I was out cheating on him because my mom hated him and didn't allow him at her home! But the first day I left and came to where I am now my son sent me a phone because I was not even allowed to have a phone while I was with him, but I got my phone set up and opened you tube for the first time and the first thing I seen is one of Ben's videos on narcissist and I've literally been watching them everyday since. They have been the main thing that has gotten me through each day since I had left! He explains so much of what I've dealt with to the T... So thank You so much for being on here doing this! You've helped me so much to keep moving forward!!
❤😊
You are strong,you already left...😊
@@juanadrianrobaina5763 Thank You!!!
I have been with my narcissist for 23 years we recently moved and for the past 6 months I had a gut feeling that he was cheating on me with The woman upstairs. I have audio from my charging security cameras in my apartment that recorded then having sex he loves her her asking when I was coming back and him replying I don't know. Then it became a game where I was giving him rope to hang himself and purposely leaving the apartment with recorders going. Believe it or not he adamantly denies it even with all the audio evidence seven recordings and he says it's not him. I'm done
My ex husband crisscrossed shit often, now i know why
We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
She got caught switching.😊
No I’m not new here
Once a cheater always a cheater. My ex wasn't original she quoted Bill Clinton.
Can you explain when the NARC refuses to speak and just walks away no matter what questions are asked or how many times issues are obvious to their partner? If there is any reply it is " I dont know or Cause" as the answer, then they once again just walk away? Then 2 minutes later it is like the conversation was never brought up.
Here'sa video , hopefully it can answer your question czcams.com/video/HNAkwZRhMjo/video.htmlsi=qEm2Kn4oqvcbGKxD
Here's another one czcams.com/video/aHKT-BmyIEE/video.htmlsi=kp-6EFOkLbkgyRG_
Dude - the evidence confrontation... And the lying 🤥 even when the spouse says, "You're only lying to yourself."
I don't get that. How do you seriously expect somebody to believe you when they're like holding a black lace mystery bra they find in your shared bedroom? For real?