Listen to Black Women - CO-PARENTING

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  • čas přidán 4. 02. 2024
  • LISTEN TO BLACK WOMEN is an iOne Digital series providing a uniquely safe space to discuss powerful and pertinent issues impacting Black women
    across the globe. From small business ownership and Bitcoin, to beauty regiments, body positivity and out-of-the-box bedroom behavior... no topic is
    too taboo on this table. LTBW is the place where Black women from all walks of life can essentially “let their hair down” and speak freely about love,
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    MADAMENOIRE is a passionate, cutting-edge web publication geared towards African-American women. The publication's mission is to unite black women at various stages of their lives, around a common aspiration for better, more fulfilling lifestyles. MADAMENOIRE provides breaking news, an open forum for discussion and cosmopolitan advice born from the lived experiences and needs of these women of color (which includes mothers, young professionals, fashionistas and intellectuals).

Komentáře • 167

  • @rahalex231
    @rahalex231 Před 5 měsíci +28

    Crazy how they try to shame dude for not dating women with kids but then she turns around & says she don't date men with kids.

    • @turinturambar347
      @turinturambar347 Před 5 měsíci +5

      It would be crazy if it weren't so predictable.
      The sisterhood will jump on a man and belittle him for having preferences and standards, but when women express those exact same preferences and standards, they're always supporting her and rationalizing her choices. Every single one of them is a hypocrite.

    • @dre22
      @dre22 Před 3 měsíci

      These women make my blood boil

    • @lynne709
      @lynne709 Před měsícem

      He has children himself. It’s hypocritical to want a woman who doesn’t have kids but expecting her to accept your kids.

    • @rahalex231
      @rahalex231 Před měsícem

      @@lynne709 Nah big difference. If the woman has kids & dates a man he still has to be the provider for her & someone else's kids. If a man with kids dates a woman without them his role doesn't change he will still be the provider for HIS OWN kids & the woman.

    • @lynne709
      @lynne709 Před měsícem +1

      @@rahalex231 Just because a woman is a single mother doesn’t mean she can’t provide for her kids herself or that her child’s father isn’t providing for the kids. Fathers are more involved in their kids’ lives than ever before, including fathers who aren’t in a relationship with their kids’ mothers. Rejecting a woman because you think she may need your help to take care of her kids is ridiculous, especially if you have kids yourself.

  • @professionalpookie
    @professionalpookie Před 5 měsíci +28

    It amazes me how men arent allowed to have standards....

    • @bigceazer
      @bigceazer Před 5 měsíci +8

      exactly!! and when we do have standards we get shamed for having those standards.

    • @turinturambar347
      @turinturambar347 Před 5 měsíci +3

      @@bigceazer Then a woman will say she has the same standards and they're always "you go girl! Kudos to you for setting up boundaries and having preferences!"

    • @sanara77
      @sanara77 Před 5 dny

      Men have should whatever standard they want, women should stop limiting their standards or options to one type of man and expand their options, enriched their lives to find someone that is on their level. No one cares about your standards, it’s when you think you have no options is when women get preoccupied with certain men with those so called standards

  • @bigceazer
    @bigceazer Před 5 měsíci +37

    a man should not be shamed for not wanting to date a woman with kids, especially if he has no kids of his own. women are allowed to have their preferences when it comes to mate selection but if a man says he doesn't wanna date a single mother he gets shamed for it, which is what they were doing. its not in a man's best interest to date a single mother & most men know this! my advice to any single mother with kids would be get back with your kids father if he isn't deceased or in prison becuase we ain't coming to save y'all. guys ain't out here looking to be stepfathers anymore in 2024.

  • @diytheamateurguy2226
    @diytheamateurguy2226 Před 5 měsíci +45

    Dating a single mother will be the biggest mistake you ever make

    • @jmatthews5685
      @jmatthews5685 Před 5 měsíci +13

      The problem is yall scream this but also be the daddies of the babies of said single mothers smh circle of life

    • @dbizzle85
      @dbizzle85 Před 5 měsíci

      Like 18% of black men are making multiple children with multiple women ​@@jmatthews5685

    • @sanara77
      @sanara77 Před 5 dny

      Someone must have let you down as a child.

  • @jaymal82
    @jaymal82 Před 5 měsíci +23

    Single Mother's: "For recreational use only"

  • @MegaTyson1978
    @MegaTyson1978 Před 5 měsíci +29

    I will never making this mistake ever again! Dating a single mother was the biggest mistake I have ever made!

    • @will00241
      @will00241 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Not seriously, women get mad when i say i don't date single mom's seriously.

    • @cicidarling6588
      @cicidarling6588 Před 23 dny

      I'm curious to know why?

  • @imwitwateva9922
    @imwitwateva9922 Před 5 měsíci +10

    As a father that raise his alongside the mother we both tell our children to never date a person with kids. Fellas especially if you don’t have kids, make your own. Being a stepdad isn’t worth it.

  • @hankhenshaw619
    @hankhenshaw619 Před 5 měsíci +7

    I love how his personal choice in dating became all about her 😂

  • @aguy9071
    @aguy9071 Před 5 měsíci +20

    There is one family structure that moves communities forward. Everything else is degenerative and destructive.
    No other culture is trying to make “coparenting” a thing but us.

    • @NonProphet500
      @NonProphet500 Před 5 měsíci +2

      The more "co-parenting" is prevalent, the more crime and poverty is prevalent
      in the community. Not only is it normalized in the black community, men who don't want to perpetuate the cycle are looked down on. Later for that.

  • @professionalpookie
    @professionalpookie Před 5 měsíci +13

    How exactly do men benefit from being stepfathers???

    • @sanara77
      @sanara77 Před 5 dny

      Your question is the worlds biggest problem right now.

  • @eon001
    @eon001 Před 6 měsíci +33

    3:22 Not "How men think" That's how MOUSE thinks. Most men with kids understand they'll be blended families. The side note is the man will be the provider of BOTH sets of children. Hence why men might be more choosy when picking a single mother as a partner.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Exactly what I said.

    • @truthbtold8697
      @truthbtold8697 Před 5 měsíci +7

      no man PREFERS to be a step father or play a father role and responsibility to a child that is not his

    • @professionalpookie
      @professionalpookie Před 5 měsíci +2

      ​@@truthbtold8697 they know. They just don't care

    • @truthbtold8697
      @truthbtold8697 Před 5 měsíci +2

      @@professionalpookie they will..JUST WAIT

    • @professionalpookie
      @professionalpookie Před 5 měsíci +2

      @@truthbtold8697 just crazy is they want men to just accept whatever they're offered. Dating is a marketplace. You have to offer something the other person values to get what you value. These clowns think they should get whatever they want

  • @blendedblackfamily
    @blendedblackfamily Před 6 měsíci +6

    This was a great topic. Naturi hit it right on the nose. Mutual respect is what it should be about. Introducing your new partner to your ex is not a bad thing. This way you can set your boundaries from the start before the new person even meets the kids. A lot of people don't think that the introduction is a necessary step in coparenting, but it truly is.

  • @LA.4.LIFE.76
    @LA.4.LIFE.76 Před 5 měsíci +5

    Double standards these women say THEY DO NOT WANT MEN WITH CHILDREN DO TO BM DRAMA! So why the push back on the man when he says, “he don’t want woman?”with no children

    • @turinturambar347
      @turinturambar347 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Yes it's a double standard, but they'll never see it that way.

  • @fistandpen2505
    @fistandpen2505 Před 5 měsíci +2

    What I never hear in these conversations is the importance of the initial choice and accountability for decisions at that stage. Once there is a child, that is already complicated. Its not impossible, but its not desirable at all. A man who leads wants to do so without external influence/baggage etc (babydaddy). We should talk more about initial choices by men to make women pregnant without plans to be with her long term and initial choices women make to become pregnant by men they either don't like, don't want long term, or that do not want them. The woman's role in this is probably more important because she decides whether to have the baby and also will be the one to raise them.

  • @roolyfe
    @roolyfe Před 5 měsíci +1

    I LOVE ❤️ BLACK WOMEN!

  • @p.s_ariel
    @p.s_ariel Před 5 měsíci +4

    Thank you Naturi!!!

    • @truthbtold8697
      @truthbtold8697 Před 5 měsíci +9

      can a man have a preference or NAH??

    • @mrbrave29
      @mrbrave29 Před 5 měsíci +5

      According to the sisterhood, brothas aren't allowed to have preferences. Yet the sista in the middle can reject guys with kids.

    • @truthbtold8697
      @truthbtold8697 Před 5 měsíci +3

      Thank Naturi for what exactly?? You think she made some hell of a point or sum'n???

  • @amac23557
    @amac23557 Před 5 měsíci +8

    Every single mom claims she’s a great mom…blah blah blah🙄it’s BS

    • @turinturambar347
      @turinturambar347 Před 5 měsíci +2

      Some are, many aren't. But usually the ones who are the loudest about how hard they have it, are the worst moms. If they're out there giving their sob story to any who will listen, it's usually a good idea to not take anything she says as truth.

  • @beverlyx9546
    @beverlyx9546 Před 6 měsíci +2

    Great Interview

  • @jayc5756
    @jayc5756 Před 5 měsíci +3

    How men think?? No, Thats How Mouse Thinks ma. Cmon now. Yall wildin.

  • @ulongo123
    @ulongo123 Před 5 měsíci +3

    I think single dads with kids and single mothers with kids can get together like a blended family😅
    But if Im a single guy with no kids Im not going for a single mother with kids. Unless the kids are like in middle school or highschool and well behaved.
    I think if youre a single mum with kids. Your kids need to be at least well behaved.
    The world works with some realities that we need to accept. Most men are not gonna go for a single mother with kids. And you cannot force anyone to date you.
    Also kids need to have the right to not really fully accept you as a step dad or step mom. You cannot force people to love you.

  • @gw504saints
    @gw504saints Před 5 měsíci +1

    Why they didn't go at blonde/yellow hair for basically doing the same thing? She gave a lame excuse and they were like ok your good.

  • @jayc5756
    @jayc5756 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I date women with no more than 1 child. 0 to 1. Thats just my preference.
    And yeah, im with what dude with the red hat said...as to my preference and how I was with them that I dated that had 1 child.

  • @jayreed1250
    @jayreed1250 Před 5 měsíci +1

    Wait, how did she get married when her child was only two?? That's fresh off having another mans kid.

  • @Chrisstyle1989
    @Chrisstyle1989 Před 6 měsíci +19

    I am sorry but that is double standards

    • @amac23557
      @amac23557 Před 6 měsíci +13

      Life is full of double standards…so be it. Bottom line don’t date single moms. It’s a headache

    • @Chrisstyle1989
      @Chrisstyle1989 Před 6 měsíci +2

      @amac23557 Wow. You came off a little strong for no reason. But thank you for your opinion.

    • @TheWorldPart6
      @TheWorldPart6 Před 5 měsíci +7

      My grandmother told me not to date single mothers if I don’t have kids.

    • @amac23557
      @amac23557 Před 5 měsíci

      @@Chrisstyle1989simple truths

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 5 měsíci

      ​@@amac23557Thats Your choice. Not for you to push on others dude. Live your life for you...not others. TF

  • @hotties3v3n
    @hotties3v3n Před 6 měsíci +4

    Mouse the dust!

    • @truthbtold8697
      @truthbtold8697 Před 5 měsíci

      so now he is dusty for not wanting to help a woman take care of another mans child??? make it make sense...a man cant even have a preference huh

  • @Nicki9235
    @Nicki9235 Před 5 měsíci +6

    We need a better diverse representation of black women smh

    • @bigceazer
      @bigceazer Před 5 měsíci

      good luck finding that

  • @WhoData5816
    @WhoData5816 Před 5 měsíci

    Actually there are some guy with 4 baby daddy who have great value like me

  • @Pikian6
    @Pikian6 Před 14 dny

    How sure are these men that those kids are theirs 😂😂😂😂😂😂?

  • @victorshaw8619
    @victorshaw8619 Před 5 měsíci

    4:24 to 4:36 says it all. You don't hear that from women when it comes to men, they want grace but don't give it. SMDH

  • @jlovetjat
    @jlovetjat Před 5 měsíci

    Dude was pressed to wear them Jordans. They to big!

  • @mrsam1084
    @mrsam1084 Před 2 měsíci

    Date women without children and avoid all of the extra stuff that you didnt create.

  • @trillxfizzy
    @trillxfizzy Před 6 měsíci +6

    This is an important topic to discuss. Thank you for this video. Coparenting is very sad within the black community because there is no coparenting. It's sad seeing my sistas struggle on their own. Even a white male youtuber reacted to 'dear mama' by tupac with his mom and she started crying, telling her son that she's an elementary school teacher and that when she does parent-teacher conference meetings the black mothers always come alone and she asks where the father is or what does the father do for a living and how involved is he and what can you both as parents do to help your son get all caught up with his work and everything etc. And it breaks her heart when these women say "he doesn't have a father. He died" or "oh hes locked up, he's not in his life anymore" like... it's getting really sad out here. Black men need to stop. I can't say I'm surprised though. Most of us black families have grown up with single mothers so it explains why Corey Hardrict (an actor who was raised by a single mother and never met his dad) couldn't financially provide for his famous wife Tia. He never seen a man do the work as a child. He saw the woman doing everything. Same with Kevin Hart. He said he's a huge feminist because he believes women do deserve to be treated equally and paid equally cause he's seen women work twice as hard as men because he was raised by one. Again thank you for this topic. It's heartbreaking. And we need to do better. More importantly black men need to do better and step up. Even after a divorce caused by the man cheating, they bitch and moan about paying child support. Well, don't break up the family to begin with and black women won't be single mothers 🤷🏽‍♀️ problem solved.

    • @omphilemoerane2569
      @omphilemoerane2569 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Thank you for mentioning Tia and Cory cause I'm tired of people saying she left him for no reason when she has very clearly hinted that lack of financial contribution was a factor in the divorce.

    • @trillxfizzy
      @trillxfizzy Před 6 měsíci +1

      @@omphilemoerane2569 yes no doubt 💯😅 yeah Tia has clicked 'like' on videos about men being wanting to lead but not knowing how. And men not contributing around the house physically and financially. It's no secret at this point.

    • @NonProphet500
      @NonProphet500 Před 5 měsíci +5

      Corey Hardrict was there for his children in the same home and involved with his children. Tia breaking up the home was not a move to improve her children's well being. The effects on children of divorce are clear and it's not good. Even the children of rich parents are negatively affected that's been proven. Sure, she's free to get attention for booty selfies and experience the sexual variety of the streets but at her kids expense. We've seen this story SMH

    • @trillxfizzy
      @trillxfizzy Před 5 měsíci +1

      @@NonProphet500 At her kids' expense? When Corey was home he wasn't *present* when she vlogged while married to him, she was always active in her kids' lives and he was nowhere to be found. Lazy. Took her for granted. Tahj was there for Cree more than Corey was. Corey wouldn't even get on the water slide for his sons bday but Tia and Tahj did. Tia was the breadwinner, paying the bills alone taking care of not only her son and daughter but a full grown man child. She was the glue that held everything together. Not all divorces are bad. You look at it as terrible for the kids like you know them. But I'm sure her kids wouldn't wanna see their mom unhappy years down the road. They'd much rather see her happy and single than in a marriage where she felt alone. You a goofy.

    • @NonProphet500
      @NonProphet500 Před 5 měsíci +1

      @@trillxfizzy Interesting that a man who wasn't involved with his kids would be included in a family holiday photo. I'm not speaking as if I know the kids, I'm speaking as if I know the documented reality of the effects of divorce on children. Not surprised that you're putting so much emphasis on money and correlating that to happiness. There is no guarantee those kids are going to see their mother Happy life is ups and downs....she says one day love will find her again but the odds that she'll find a man that takes her seriously, or one that makes more money than her are against her. Good luck.

  • @ashpiredliving
    @ashpiredliving Před 4 měsíci +1

    These men they chosen i guess were the best available.. lord we gotta have better examples. Cause they sound silly.

  • @dre22
    @dre22 Před 3 měsíci +1

    These women are lost. Yellow hair? Really

  • @B-isfor
    @B-isfor Před 2 měsíci

    Never date a single mom.

  • @justinmuhammad4561
    @justinmuhammad4561 Před 5 měsíci +10

    U Tariq mama and ghost ex wife. We not listenen to you

  • @user-bp2er8jc7h
    @user-bp2er8jc7h Před 5 měsíci

    Stepkida area bad investment . If the real dad don't want to stick around or if they couldn't work it out it's crazy for you to try. Ain't nobody checking in the guy they momma dated 20 years ago . Y'all mlthers and aunts used our father's and uncles we ain't having it

  • @trillxfizzy
    @trillxfizzy Před 6 měsíci +13

    "How can she focus on me when she's a mother?" So single fathers can date but women can't? And then "me and her can have our first kid together. It has to be her first kid though." So youre allowed to have kids but she has to be single with no kids for you to be invested? If anything, you should wanna date a woman *with* kids so you both can accept each other. Bruh 🤦🏾‍♀️ be quiet.

    • @shelynj2210
      @shelynj2210 Před 5 měsíci +2

      Seems to be the general consensus of certain bm. They will have a whole kid collection, but want a women with no kids(?)to screw over???That doesn't make sense.

    • @trillxfizzy
      @trillxfizzy Před 5 měsíci +1

      @@shelynj2210 Right. And be expecting a child BEFORE marriage or before proposal. Well she's not dumb. She doesn't wanna be another one of your baby mamas so what if she doesn't wanna have kids and wants to use birth control until you put a ring on it? Dude in this video sitting on the right side is wild.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 5 měsíci +1

      Thats Mouse Crazy thinking. He Definitely dont represent all of us bm. Cmon now.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Před 5 měsíci +2

      ​@@shelynj2210I didnt hear that. The ones always saying that...most dont have kids. And they Definitely dont represent most bm ma. Cmon. Stop being ignorant.

    • @trillxfizzy
      @trillxfizzy Před 5 měsíci

      @@jayc5756 no I know 💯

  • @ahquillgraham7777
    @ahquillgraham7777 Před 5 měsíci

    Women always trying to convince dating single mothers is a good thing

  • @TheOBrand1201
    @TheOBrand1201 Před 5 měsíci

    the fact that these women talking out both sides of they mouth is tremendous audacity

  • @kamieyonce
    @kamieyonce Před 6 měsíci

    Elle Varner is a mother?!?😮

    • @kevikev214
      @kevikev214 Před 5 měsíci +2

      I figured she did because she a lil chubby now

    • @kamieyonce
      @kamieyonce Před 5 měsíci

      @@kevikev214 ooop thats kinda mean lol shes always had hips and boobs and weight goes there first, but i follow her on IG still and shes never posted anything regarding a birth