Rules Of A Relationship - Should Women Go 50/50 While Dating? | Listen To Black Women
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- čas přidán 5. 08. 2024
- On this episode of Listen to Black Women, the ladies are discussing how money affects the dynamics in a relationship. How much power does of one give up if her man is the sole-provider? What obstacles arise in a relationship when the woman is the breadwinner? What's so bad about going 50/50?
Want more? Read the full article on MadameNoire here: madamenoire.com/1311987/liste...
Meet The "Listen To Black Women" Hosts:
Shamika Sanders / shamika_sanders
Jessie Woo / thejessiewoo
Chris Miss / chrismiss_
Taryn Finley / _tarynitup
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MADAMENOIRE is a passionate, cutting-edge web publication geared towards African-American women. The publication's mission is to unite black women at various stages of their lives, around a common aspiration for better, more fulfilling lifestyles. MADAMENOIRE provides breaking news, an open forum for discussion and cosmopolitan advice born from the lived experiences and needs of these women of color (which includes mothers, young professionals, fashionistas and intellectuals).
Traditional men belong with traditional women and no one else. If his money is "our" money and your money is your money then your chores are your chores and his chores are "our" chores. That *automtically* means that if he's paying 100% of the bills when you're both home, you better be doing 100% of the housework.
That’s why my generation is so confusing because you modern day women with traditional women and that will never work.
these lazy women ain't trynna do nun listening to cardi b 😂🤣
Your view is actually what would lead to miserable partnerships. A true marriage is not "well if I make 100% income then you're obligated to do ALL the housework." Most men of higher caliber including men outside of US understand that if they want to keep their woman beautiful/destressed enough to bring joy to him and help HIM destress after hard day's work, they need to make enough money to hire help for her in household chores and child-rearing once in a while. My grandfather was a judge, Grandma didn't have to work, OR focus on chores because my grandpa KNEW what was more important than chores, was taking care of the kids and making sure they had a happy mom who had the time to nurture them into healthy productive adults. He told Grandma, let me hire help for the chores so you can focus on the kids because I love you and I love our children. My grandma in turn maintained her beauty, class, joy in her soul which she imparted into the children and loving her husband, spoiling him rotten. He trusted her fully because in marriage, they are one, grandpa used to tell everyone that grandma was just an extension of him, that everyone should honor her as they did him. In many many societies outside the US that is the norm. And that is where healthy relationships and children come from, true partnerships where each respect the another & find solutions to make each other's lives easier, because.... Love.
@@peaceporter9089 People keep talking about higher caliber men, but why would such a man be interested in a lower caliber woman complaining about housework or maintaining herself as if that were some monumental task? If the kids are being taught correctly the kids slowly take over the household chores as they get older. That's what happened in my household. In all of the older generations women I know they all played their role without fail and their families thrived because of it.
Meanwhile, in the modern woman's scenario we have a worthless woman who brings nothing to the house to make it a home. Their family's are in the toilet and our communities are decaying. In my father's day men didn't marry worthless women who brought nothing to the household and who needed coddling just to maintain themselves. We'd have never survived Jim Crow if we were that pathetic back then.
@@peaceporter9089 yeah, a wealthy man would not care about a hiring a housemaid, but guess what, 99% of men are not wealthy. i got this question. why would a wealthy man that can provide for multitudes get in return? love? what if there are a couple of women who can give him same love as you? what you gonna do to earn the type of lifestyle you want him to provide?
People should do what works for them. Period.
Facts what works for one might not work for others I know chicks that love to contribute and theirs dudes that wont let their woman pay for anything theres no right or wrong answer what works for you and keep you from fighting stay at it just communicate
Every last one of these women even the interviewer needs therapy ❗
Or a newer therapist or more of it but they need therapy overall ❗🤔
But that’s the point… the ways of the modern woman, en masse, do not work
Date men who like to be breadwinners. You'll save yourself a lot of hassel.
I live in Chicago... The biggest complaints my friends have are the mindset behind dating men with money...
#divest
@@SocialMedia-xy5dt divesting doesn't work like that. Men do the approaching so the most a woman can do is put herself in the same spaces as non bm.
@@ogralph803onig6 indeeed
But what if the guy cant have glutton in his food. thats not fair
i love JESSIE! her transparency and the points she makes are what women want to say, but they villainize us for. yet, she does it with such grace and understanding of differing opinions, while still being true to herself. that's my cancer sis!
❤️
Great Experience I had with with u DOCTOR ORAL CZcams channel after using his herbal product & get cured from herpes Virus totally. Thanks so much DOCTOR ORAL channel...
I put 0 👌 stock in anything a blk female has to say about dating and her dating demands. They are literally the biggest failures when it comes to dating men and women. Which is why they are the most single and unwed.
Just like someone is trying to low key villainize her in this interview?
That's the issue y'all worried about being villified for doing the right thing. Stand strong blk woman against stupid weemon
Earning potential and emotional intelligence are not mutually exclusive. Both! I deserve both!!
Exactly
You don't deserve anything. You get what you WORK for.
I "deserve". talking like a true female😂😂😂😂😂😂no one deserve anything. you get what you get.
You don't deserve a thing in this life just because you have a penis or a vagina. You work and earn whatever you desire, or watch as you live in eternal misery.
stop being entitled. you gonna have to earn it to deserve it. that's the problem we have in this world, people being entitled without earning a damn thing.
Listening to these women talk and contradict themselves is crazy! Men create the life you want invite a woman who will make that life better.
A display of CONTRADICTION verbally and mentally, can be the roots of anything chaotic that leads to imbalance, disorder, dysfunction, dismay, disarray, and destruction! Men protect yourselves at all times!!!
The whole entire time smh
@ Roshown McLeod Yep! you know the saying “let the woman keep talking and she’ll expose herself!
Facts a younger woman with no kids. No old fat singlemothas
According to the Bureau of Labor Statics, the average black man earns $870 per week. The average black woman earns $811 per week. $42K is not a lot, but $87K can at least get the bills paid. My perspective on relationships is that team work is the key. Ladies, consider dating an average man because MOST MEN AND WOMEN are average.
They don't recognize that. Simple math: If a man and a woman both make 50k and decide to move in together, ta da, the household now makes 100k. If a man wants to pay everything, cool, that's on him. But if a woman doesn't want to contribute at all, it looks bad on her. It's about building the foundation.
As a man you should have a strong desire to take care of your wife and family, even if that means getting a better education or working two jobs to make that happen.
@@ohanaohana8844 Yeah so you can spend less time with your family and have them resent you for it or even worse leave you.
@@ohanaohana8844 Are you comfortable sharing a providing husband??
@@ohanaohana8844 ma’am 87k is no slouch. Y’all have got to get off of social media. Men are more that money and di@k.
Idk i just don't understand the mindset of having/wanting the feeedom of working and earning money but not the responsibility of paying bills, sharing household work, wanting him to do the dirty work, but also wanting to be seen as equal.
They wanna act like adults without the adult responsibilities of paying bills. Had to turn it off when the woman said that his money is our money and her money is her money. Can't sit and listen to that kind of toxic femininity
Im honest to God tryna understand that 🤦🏿♂️😭😂
@@22FLYDUDE the shit crazy, they want to hold men to a strict standard while they pick and choose
@@otismichael2583 And what's scary is it makes total logical sense to em though.
I recently read a peer reviewed study on this. They called it stupidity
If you followed these women home you'd find :
More that half of them are dealing with someone who's not doing half of what they say they require & the other halve don't have one...
LOL, facts
lol Exactly.
Bro I’ve never listen to what they say. When They get home and get back to their lives off of CZcams they’ll be calling some dude who is perpetually unemployed to come blow their back out.
@@saints0931 💯.. I put 0 👌 stock in anything a blk female has to say about dating and her dating demands. They are literally the biggest failures when it comes to dating men and women. Which is why they are the most single and unwed.
Honestly honesty transparency only happens when I get past- she trying to trap me.
When we were just regular cut.
I'm 56 an never been married. In fact most of my life all the way to present - I would protest my wife had not been born yet.
Not just our community or inflated ego-
But from lack of attention.
Society didn't teach men to be providers it's our innate nature. A man must have a purpose that drives him every day. He should provide for and protect his family thereby creating a legacy.
Hello, there is a chain of command and people seems to forget.
Keyword family
What if I want to provide for multiple families and multiple wives?
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju
Well good luck finding wives to agree to that nonsense. Plus, providing for one wife/family is hard. Imagine having to provide for multiple families? Yeah right. Polygamy is stupid.
Yeah but blk men are the only group of men who could have a purpose, protect, provide blah blah blah, and still come home to a jealous envious jezebel like Jada Pinkett and Michelle Obama.
This is comedy 😂 😂 they should all do individual standup
Chic in the middle is delusional af
Crazy to continually hear women talk about his money is our money and her money is her money. Why make money if you aren’t paying any bills or moving towards a financial goal. Women like these talking about not going 50/50 on bills, dates, etc, and I’d bet they’ll ask for 50/50 in divorce.
She gotta save up to get ready to bounce to the next sucker. Smooth getaways require a lot of bread.
To have money when she bails on the real action ship.
It's takes more than just money to keep a family/marriage functioning. Often times a woman role is most important, yet under appreciated. Women get half in divorce because she's entitled to half of everything they built together.
@@mimia.4810 Except women these days don't want to build with a man they want to move in to what he's already built. I'm not mad at that it's just that these divorce laws need to be revised to reflect changes in culture. I fault men for that. As much as we talk about how divorce can ruin us financially we don't fight hard enough to change the system.
These same women are going 50/50 with Chase/AMEX/Sallie Mae, etc they can't even afford their own lifestyle, don't believe the cap
What I find amazing is you have wife who has two Masters degrees, and makes 6 figures, but doesn't want to contribute financially to the household, but yet wants to have a full say in what decisions are made. Ask yourself if you had a partner who invested nothing financially in the company, what decisions powers should they have?
Great point
Great point...but if she is taking care of the household...cooking/cleaning/children... doesn't it level itself out?
@@ttdabestest no. Women do that for men who are making far less. Performing your natural role in life isn’t a 6 figure skill. Women have been able to get away with demanding so much but having skills and value that are so little. Screaming you are the table at the top of your lungs doesn’t work anymore, and we need to see justification for your presence with us as men
Preach! 👏
@@qp1212 I guarantee you're single.
Y'all males swear being a wife and a mother isn't as valuable as being a breadiwnner. But so many men these days are trying to convince more women to give up independence and get married because the loneliness in men is increasing. Your mentality is apart of the problem. Let's be honest, marriage has historically benefited men more than women. That's why marry men statistically not only live longer but are actually happier than men who are single.
I’m so glad we as women don’t have to agree on our individual approaches to dating. I could never agree to settling for less than what I really want, which is what a lot of us are taught to do and teach each other to do. There are consequences for settling too. And I’m glad more women like Jessie and others are brave enough to be real about it.
even when a woman makes 100k/yr , usually, she wont support the house hold. So as men, we always settle for less, cuz most women offer the least. I hope that free ride is over.
@@VentDeux Haha that's funny. You have no idea what women do in relationships that y'all males don't even see or hear about because we women whip it past y'all so fast. However, y'all males don't even pay all the bills on your own because you're screaming out 50/50, and on top of that women still do majority of taking care of the household.
@@VentDeux it is. The evidence is in the fact that most of these women who think like this are speaking on the man they want, not the one they have.
You try to date someone worth more than you, & you'll end up alone. Appreciate who you really attract or improve yourself before you date. Don't be delusional & think "you deserve better" you earn it if you want it.
@@KrOnIc343 all the bls data shows that bm STILL earn more than bw. These women are not simply looking for a man who earns more but a man who is in tge top 1-10% of America.
"Your money is our money and my money is my money???"
Sigh, I was with her up until that point.
turnoff and I' a woman
Really...don't need that type of woman.
If a man takes her out and she expects him to pay, so what is she suppose to do for him??
She will never have a Man
I sense a “cringe” energy from Chris.
Jessie, keep speaking your opinions because I see where you’re going with this. Black women are expected to accept everything that’s surrounded by struggle. So we can have the title of being “strong”. We’re damsels in distress. The conversation about dating lower… absolutely agree. Everyone should envision their dream partner, then ask themselves if they’re even ready for that person. If the answers no, then you shouldn’t be dating right now. Work on yourself.
Well said
I thought I was the only one who “sensed “ the “cringe” energy! 🤷🏽♀️
Take all the time you need, until your out of it.
People don’t live in reality often. Everybody has an idea and most think they’re ready but aren’t.
@@sheenac2756 Funny how the light skin one the most understanding and y’all call it cringe
Imagine a man saying, “ I’ll be a man to my woman, if my girl is a woman.” These females are crazy. I love seeing these middle age black women in their expensive car, with a dog or cat. I can tell you they were all strong independent women. Independent to the grave.
Right! Passing their generational wealth on to their yorkies😂😂😂
Tell em to do what they feel is best for them, but we ain’t feeling these vibes 🤷🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
That was disrespectful to say someone's opinion is "cringy". Black women are so used to struggle love that 50/50 is not real. If its 50/50 then what you need is a roommate , not a spouse.
👏🏼✨
Preach
When men have opinions that are considered colorist it’s fine to call it cringy. It’s not disrespectful to point out cringe when it exists
Or y'all should be alone because most of y'all modern BW don't deserve to be pampered. Wanting a traditional man but not shit traditional about yall 🤦🏿♂️🙄😴😂
That was rude of her to say cringe at the woman's honest opinion.
If he broke none of yall would give him the time of day to even sit and hear what his purpose and aspirations are. Y'all said so many contradictory things. If men had a panel discussing this and what their preferences are and what they need from a woman they would get eaten alive ie cam newton. I did like alot of things that Jessie said it was more realistic than the other ladies
Aren't you tired from being so male-identified?
@Glory Roads You sound bitter.
@Glory Roads Cringe.
@Glory Roads You're so triggered for no reason lol
Right because men are not allowed to have standards
Orange has very bad energy. I can feel it through the screen.
I feel the same. I will give it more time, but not feeling her. She doesn't give she's a girls girl.
@@martini_7827 it’s because she’s given shine (she’s a preference) by black males and it’s “BEST” for her to be a guys girl so she can Keep getting chosen.
I thought it was just me but she said she a gemini so it make sense 😂
@@tabbypanda82 I agree she light her experience with men us probably different then most woman
Same! Seriously
It's easy to say a man's money shouldn't be tied to his manhood but women dictate his manhood by how much he make in order to prove a provider
I just know all these ballin, boss chicks with all the degrees and careers and businesses aren't complaining about breaking bread... 😳👀😮
But the women they are speaking to don’t have those outcomes and cannot have those types of expectations. The end consumer of a woman is a man, and nothing these chicks are saying is valid in the real world with real men. They keep women single by inflating their heads with unrealistic expectations
They are modern women, therefore they should want a modern man. You can be modern whenever it suits you. But to expect traditional treatment from a man, while being a modern woman. You wonder why we cannot get along.
Smh. I feel sorry for young black women under 30. Y'all this ain't it!
So you agree or disagree with the message?
@@dortcharmy11 she clearly disagrees
@@swanm3ta850 she do triggered. All she cared about was the lady disagreeing with the hyenas 🤣🤣
Priceless
Tell em again lady
These women don’t realize that they are talking themselves out of a good man.
Most men don’t want their wife to want them mainly for their money. For example, a man will easily tell a woman “I love you. You’re so beautiful” Now tell a man, “I love you. You’re so rich” and see how he reacts.
Hold up. His money is their money and her money is her money? 🚩🚩 stay away from selfish women!!
She said what she meant, that what women want exactly, they just try to dress it up more often.
I always have the mindset that my money is my money & her money is my money. I’m the King & I make the rules, it all belongs to me… or I’ll just cut her off.
@@Ruthless_king men typically better with finances anyway. so if you're a man who is on top of finances then she should be looking to you on how to disburse the money anyway
Agreed. Marriage is a partnership.
@@sbusisiweshaba1715 ma'am it has not always been that way. In fact, in the 1800s women couldn't even own property unless their husband died. So, if women did have money more than likely their husband managed it. I swear most women have no logical understanding of history. One because most people are bored by history, but for you to make this statement as if you actually read is ridiculous. please stop making statements when you have no historical knowledge to reference too.
Before watching… the answer is 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣Nooooooo
Hahaha ok!!!! Absolutely not!!!!
Women love to get together and have these cap sessions. You look at their dating lives and I bet only one of these women are living the way they're talking.
Jesse at 17:10 🤣🤣🤣🤣I knew she wasn't for it ...
Traditional over here, I don't do ,50/50 Mr Asian man gonna have to understand
I think the only issue some men have with I’m no going 50/50 is ok where is your money going especially because you’re not sitting around, ladies today have goals so what’s your plan. Women working today, cool, that’s 2 incomes you fought for. Where’s your money because he’s not slaving himself to you can buy bags, shoes, and trips.
@@Ceeboyforlife some men actually like pampering their women that way, everybody have a different love language. Just cause my man pamper me, the way I like that he enjoys, doesn't mean he's a bad man and it doesn't mean I'm a horrible woman to be with.
Don't speak for other races of men cause how you feel another man may feel differently. You could've kept your crappy comment to yourself, your mindset isn't other races of men.
Men that's unsuccessful, under earning, prefer comfortable mediocre level living, is fine, not my problem yet not the choice of man I want.
I have a right to the man I prefer to date and a man of your mindset is far from my radar.
@@ThePhoenix3712 the problem is the woman that feel like they DESERVE more than they can get. You can search for that 3% 6 figure guy but just realize that requires more from you as a woman that you can handle if you want. Black Woman with unrealistic expectations are the death of a black family. A large percentage of woman have to work to maintain the household. I make 70k and for a lot of black woman that's not enough. However my wife makes 60k so together we make 130k and have more than enough to provide for our children and enjoy life. That's what 50/50 brings. You can choose to hold out for the bigger fish and continue to pay 100% of your bills or go 50/50 while building a life and legacy with a family.
@@clue942
If that what works for your family,good for you. What do you care about attracting other women if you're married? It should concern you what other women want. Some women want that 50/50 lifestyle, others want a traditional lifestyle.
If a man got no money , he should aim lower but sis, if you got no money, never settle, always aim higher😂😂
DELUSION GALORE over here.
She said "his money is our money and my money is my money"...Absolute trash. You cannot create a fruitful life together with a woman who has that mentality.
hahahaha, that means you not gonna eat if your money didn't prepare/buy it even if it's an apple.
This is so good I love hearing all the ladies perspectives
Jessica woo video sent me here❤❤
Congratulations ladies🎉🙏🏾
I see this is a 6 figure conversation, Not for the average man ,you know the ones who do things like building highways, connecting electrical wires, Carpenters men that connect your waterlines to your houses and apartments, fixes your refrigerator and washer when they break. You know the ones that keeps the infrastructure of a nation going. The 50/50 conversation starts at the beginning of dating Because women can date 5 different men because it's only a date, go out 5 different days for 4 weeks until she decides she likes one, Now thats 20 dates and she hasn't spent a dime. Men have to suck that up or save their money..Because you would think if she liked him she would pay for at least one date, right...
Not feeling Chriss Miss energy towards Jessie. Seems like she always wants to disagree
I’m not the only one who noticed that!!!
It was giving much, who do you think you are AND I want you to play the game the way I play it, so I can beat you.
Did not like her energy. Almost as if she was like how dare you have these standards… Jessie can have whatever standards she wants.
@@BB-qk8on yea dating hood dudes like she said in a previous video.
Funny , the one girl that tried to resemble a partner is not liked
It depends on that person. People out there really should do what really works for them .
Why are men commenting?? Please see yourselves out lol this is women business
😭
These ladies are not lesbian and are literally talking about heterosexual relationships with men. A real lady, actually wants to know what the men she wants, think.
Right, BM need to ignore BW.
Find somewhere to go that requires a membership and process that only takes women or is easy to kick out men.... CZcams is for everyone.
@@TheeJessieWoo You did so well ❣
missed this series so much!!!! just got my life ladies
She asked if women will be submissive if men contributed to 100% of the bills and they tap danced around the question.
Also, someone said something about “my money is my money and your money is our money” Huh?
Huge red flag
Stay away from that.
Those days are over men have realized they ain’t worth it only women you take care of if your momma these 304’s have jobs they strong and independent right?
Even if you pay 100% of the bills you gotta keep in mind that she's still your equal and you don't own her just because you supply all of her needs. #passportgang
@@ogralph803onig6 It’s not about ownership, it’s about leadership. If a man is paying 100% of the bills, he should lead the relationship. Also, is the head coach equal to the athlete? Of course there is respect, but taking care of all the bills needs to give you a level of seniority/ranking in the household. Otherwise, just go 50/50 but people wanna have their cake and eat it too. It doesn’t work like that.
Loved the panel! Independent and intelligent women who can respectfully disagree and still understand each other’s view points. There’s always something to learn from each other.
If they were so independent! They can pay their own half of the date
Great Experience I had with with u DOCTOR ORAL CZcams channel after using his herbal product & get cured from herpes Virus totally. Thanks so much DOCTOR ORAL channel...
@@birame2008 dude they contradict all the time. They want they own with little responsibility, they just need a fool to agree.
Conditionally feminine modern woman who wants a traditional man 🤣"if my man is a man" A man who IS a man ISNT checking for her type, she'll end up with a beta at best then leave him a few years later for Tyrone just to get used recreationally.
At some point y'all gotta stop generalizing black men as if we are a monolith, it's tired.
The Jessie line of being broke and knowing your purpose in life is so true point blank period
Jessie really hitting the nail on the head in thisss
Awesome video
I find it hilarious that there are exactly 304 comments to this video🤣🤣🤣🤣
Men that make less than their mates are SIX times more likely to cheat . They're also more likely to be abusive.
A broke man is an angry and toxic man.
That's a big LIE
Making less than doesn't equate to being broke, their both financially in different parts of their life. Whos not to say that the women mentally abuses the men calling him broke worthless you ain't shit etc.
That sounds stupid as hell 😂
@@adh3672 that’s not a lie… divorce rates are much higher too when the woman makes more
@@BB-qk8on whose filing for the divorce? Makes a big difference
In a marriage.. he asked me what else do I bring to the table.. I pay a couple bills.. he still wanted more. I am working over 50 hours a week
What does he do?
Top tier, yet single in your late 30' and early 40's. 😆 Lol
Yea I learned a lot 💯
About what?
A man that can cover all your needs will do as he please
He sure will 😂
And so will we 💅😉
@@WhoIsDangerTV you covering all a man’s needs?
@Ladarrius Henry What do you classify as covering a mans needs?
Aye agree, let’s just start by shutting the hell up when told.
No more 50/50 Black women. We have settled enough. It’s time to raise the bar where it’s supposed to be.
People should do whatever works for them. No 1 size fits all for everybody
@@jayc5756 no one asked you.
@@gorgeousenergy6269 🤡
@@jayc5756
⬆️ *Dusty* *male* *detected* 🤡🤡
Why do women have jobs
I cannot understand this. Me and my wife both work. We have a budget that we stick to and pool our income each month for the budget. We have a household checking and savings and we have our individual accounts to which we allocate budgeted funds every month. I really thought this was the norm.
It is the norm for majority of Americans who are actually married. 70% of married women in the US work full or part time. Most families need two incomes especially with children. Most women aren’t realistic. 20% of American men actually make enough to pay all the bills. Most couples are like you & your wife.
All four ladies spoke truth. Nice gems ladies.
Every conversation of between black women nowadays has to lead to them bashing black men while claiming that black men are the ones bashing them.
Great convo ladies!!!👍🏽💃🏽 My seeesta Jessie!!!💕💕
what happens to all the money you are making if he pays all the bills. if it ends in divorce does he get half?
Loved the convo!!
How about we both give 100%? You give a hundred of yourself and let your partner give a hundred. No more using the other to satisfy a selfish need.
All I got to say is young men need to totally forget about women and focus on build a career, because women have no sympathy for a man making average income. Also, men who have made it to the top need to be ruthless with their standards for women. They need to understand their worth and have an abondance mindset just like women and be willing to work away. 💥Guys💥never let a woman know your financial situation even if you are making millions, because women date opportunistically and they will take advantage of you if you lead with money. Men don’t care about a women’s money, because just all this ladies agree “his money is our money, but her money is her money “. More importantly, never ever forget to sign a prenuptial agreement if you choose o get married or you will regret it. Stay safe guys, beware and be warned.
Nice show girls, at least you all taking about it now.
Chris MISS, is up to date on life, commitment and relationships as it stands today ..She is real...The other two women are lost in selfish, personal opinions and personal lifestyles...no relationship skills at all.
"I don't think you should ever settle a day in your life"
SYSBM
A woman should never settle means "I think I'm extraordinary even though I'm actually average but I'll NEVER settle for an average man!"
This was actually interesting and entertaining…I didn’t feel like y’all bashed men, just had different opinions on how diff sorts of women felt about topics with men, good job!
I’m feeling the answers of the lady in orange. 😇🤩🥰🥳
The problem with 50/50 is it's never 50/50. Any woman paying half is putting 70% of the effort into the relationship, at least. Is he doing half the chores? Is he birthing and raising half the kids? I heard a story of a man who went 50/50 with his wife. She refused to get pregnant until half the income loss she'd take for the time she'd have to take off work was deposited into her account. Now she was serious about going 50/50. But does anyone really want that? Do they want to have to bill their man to birth his babies? It's not even worth the stress. A man comes at you talking 50/50, run. What he means is he's gonna milk you for everything he can and when you have nothing left to give he's gonna trade you in for a younger model cause he never cared enough about you to take care of you in the first place.
Miss average dudes don’t have money to skip around like that, they can only invest in one woman at a time and by the time a baby gets involved he locked down. Wealthy guys can stretch they legs a lot more and you want all that success and resources to yourself. That dude is much more likely to leave because he can afford it and you still stuck with a baby.
@@Ceeboyforlife Do you really believe any of the nonsense you just said? First off, if she's paying half, he doesn't need to afford her, she's paying for herself. Same as the other women. So that in no way motivates him to be monogamous because if each woman is supporting herself, then he can bounce around between as many of them as he likes. Secondly, your assertion would mean that the vast majority of men who abandon their kids have wealth. That's ridiculous. The average black man makes 30k. That means the government isn't getting much child support from him if any. So he's free to litter the countryside with babies. A man with money, they take so much in child support that you have women fishing condoms out garbage cans trying to get pregnant by these men like what happened with Drake. And he put hot sauce in the condom. He's guarding his seed because he knows he has something to lose if he isn't careful.
@@MissKashira ????
So does he get a refund if she doesn't get pregnant? 😂😂. All jokes aside, let's assume you're right, that women put in 70% in the relationship, with chores, raising kids, etc. Why would they want the man to pay for everything BEFORE they hit that stage? She's not doing chores or raising their kids while they're dating, so if that's what putting her over the equality threshold, she's really not doing 70/30 until then. By your logic, she should run ONLY when they are ready to settle in together and have kids, and he's still asking for 50/50.
@@verb0ze Do you pay the rent of every woman you date or are you calling paying for meals "paying for everything" which is done to demonstrate you are both capable and willing to protect and provide. It used to be something men did with pride. Now it's like, "Wait, she wants me to pay for BOTH our coffees?"
In most cases marriage for women is a crap deal, they do hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of labor for the family that they are neither paid nor thanked for. So the point of courtship was to butter a woman up into accepting a crap deal. Though now guys can't even bother to put in that much work. Now she has to pay half the bills to be your emotionally unfilled bang maid.
Great conversation ladies !!!
Hello beautiful black greetings from panama it is a pleausure my queen
Damn the one in orange said all you got to do is be ALIVE. Her DM'S probably lit
Full of dust
Money money money that’s all I hear I thought relationships were about love we keep falling into this European western style of love where who has the money and the power controls the relationship there is no community love No emotional love or sacrificial love all theses European standards… from being colonized by the Europeans for so long .. please research love from different parts of the world and you’ll find out what love really is
Individualistic era
Financial literacy is goals
Can men go half on carrying babies in pregnancies/delivering babies and the physically pain and aftermath related to child birth? Can men go half on our monthly cycle? On average, do men do just as much around the house and for the kids as women do?
I will never go half with a man with his duty in manhood!! We as women do t have a choice to woman up so make these men man up!! Come on now pickme women.. let’s not do this today. That’s what’s wrong with our men today.. we are always putting on our pick-me super hero cape to save men from manhood!!
Being a wife comes with duties and responsibilities. In many families around the world the wife has to work full or part time. This conversation is only an issue with black woman. Just because you gave birth doesn't mean you get a free pass all your life. You have every right to go for a guy making 6 figures to pay all your bills but if you don't get the outcome you want and father time is knocking at your door you are going to wish you found a good solid man in your late 20's early 30's to settle down with. Woman should do better than a pookie or ray ray but a good solid man with values making 55-60k is going to sound like a whole snack when you are alone at 35. A man at that level is going to need 50/50 or maybe 35/65 with you working so ya'll can build a family. Don't listen to your Aunties and single best friends.
Makes you think black women would stop having babies with those types of men, BUT NOPE....
@@clue942 despite the book you just wrote, you must’ve wro this for your health.. bcs
I said what I said!
@@1111ScorpQueen how’s that working out for you.? You’re looking for 10 percent of men.
@@1111ScorpQueen That was some helpful advice to you. You continue to be great and drink the Kool-aid. It's none of my concern.
Chris made some very good points
Any one notice it's only Black women having these 50/50 conversations. Stop adding stress to your life it will only hurt you in the end.Please open your options to other race of men as well.
Because black woman are the only "independent" women who find a problem with paying for a date or even going half on it.
You here zero other races worried about this. They build families, not just having babies and being independent (having a damn job).
If they want you...
@@infozone9601 go outside and while you're get a passport too.
@@rhiyoncegold8087 Cool. Go spend quality time with Brad.
Most modern women say they want to be 50/50 in a relationship. If you're only noticing it in black women it is because your focus is on that group. It's like if you're looking to buy a certain type of car. You start seeing it everywhere.
But all the women are single on the panel🤔🤦♂️
Ding Ding Ding Ding. We have a winner.
10:35 So because you want something you deserve it otherwise you’re settling. I just don’t think some women even know what reality is anymore, my goodness. No man care about your money because men can’t use it anyway, and if you have 5 kids 🛑. No amount of self love gonna get you a HVM that you alone can walk away with.
Your ACTUAL name is Taryn Finley
Ohhhhhh LORDY….. my name is Teran Finley 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If u not married. U not entitled to nothing of mine.
All I hear is I feel, I feel, I feel! Smh lol
luv jessie
Hey Jessie! 🤎
50-50 makes sense on the “let’s get acquainted” 1st date. Both parties ought to view the occasion for determining if there’s compatability to justify going forward; hopefully both parties are equally motivated. Moreover, there’s a certain “freeloader” stigma in today’s hookup culture where too many women assume they’ve got a free nite out on the fellow, compatibility or not. Fewer men will risk those first dates when the assumption is for him to pick up the full tab. Generally, once there’s a measure of exclusivity and discussion, then men tend to grow more comfortable about paying for the date.
Exactly
Another reason why bw are the last chosen in dating etc. Keep listening to city girls bw see how well that's gonna work out for u.
Women telling men to not have unrealistic expectations all while having unrealistic expectations 🤦🏾♂️. But the crazy part is that all of this boss b!tch, I got my own sh!t mentality goes out the window soon as u get married. It's like women want no parts of financial responsibility when it comes to marriage. Men paying the mortgage is fine. But paying ALL of the bills while the woman still wants to go out on dates and he pay for all that too is just simply UNREALISTIC
I love me some Jessie. I love her perspective.
Lol, headboard 😂😂😂
Why are black women the only women having this convo. With 50/50 You have a roommate not a man
My White and Hispanic women friends don’t have these money issues. In fact, two white families are led by high earning executive women and the men are stay at home dads. My other women friends contribute pretty much equally financially and it’s not a problem.
But it seems like black people tend to tie one’s earnings with one’s value. That is problematic.
If you are single paying 100% of your bills and you get married and pay 50% of bills, how can you not see that as a financial gain? What am I missing?
@@TMA2NC When women enter a mariage, they have other responsabilities that they didn't have before: kids care and a familial households care.
There is no reason for the woman to work, pay 50% of the bills, take care of the kids and maintain an entire household all by herself. Meanwhile the man just work and pay 50% of the bills. That's not 50/50. That's 70/50 and the woman is doing the 70% of the work.
Moreover, that's not even mentionning that, unlike other communities, black women are the ones who are the breadwinner in most black households. Meaning that most black men, "provide" under the 50%. The typical black households with two parents is 80/50 and black women are doing the 80% of work.
The nerve of you for comparing black women to other races, as if black women are not doing 3 times more work than them in general. And most black males are underperforming compared to every other races of men, when it comes to their responsabilities as men in the family.
lol I’ll pay all of the bills, but I expect you to take care of the house. If I’m paying the bills AND doing the cooking, cleaning, etc. I don’t have a woman, but a child.
@Glory Roads Wtf are you on? Who talked about "handing men over"?
The question was: Why do black women reject the 50/50 dynamic within their households ? I answered: Because it's a scam for us and listed the reasons why.
You make no damn sense. Learn how to read, weirdo.
@@coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13
Welcome to life of married women! Most women pay bills in their house and still cook, clean, childcare, etc. That's the problem. It's not uncommon to hear women say their husband is their child.
Jessie is the reason why so many black women are single. Most men are contributors but few (less than 10 percent) have the resources to pay 100 percent of a mortgage, every bill, and keep the kids clothed, fed, and insured.
Lol we’d rather be single.
@Glory Roads fantastic
What's this low-key VIBE....
actin like the average MAN is broke & struggling????
I make over $80,000 a year....
on a regular degular city job.
Is the average American woman, *between age 23 to 50* bringin in way more than $80,000 a year?
These women come from broken homes like most of us... They don't know a good man if he brought them a wig lol
I was in a relationship where the man was older,and he felt he didn't need to work anymore. But he wants conditioning, he wants to eat all day,cable etc. He had my pockets dry. I was in school,I took care of my mother,I did Uber and Lyft,and i took 3 of my cousins back and forth to work. He didn't want to do anything.
As a Man. I don't mind... Actually prefer to pay on dates. But am always told I'm Sexist or misogynistic down the line for things that line up with me paying all the bills... There is always a contradiction somewhere .....Tbh. The women who are easier to deal with are 50/50 women.
those women are not use to having a man that is the provider probaly single parents and grew up with their mom being single with no father in the house
I feel every women can't get a provider man Provider men are rare and they want more traditional women which means if they provide for u U need to be attractive ,cook ,clean ,drama free,cooperative,be fit ,feminine and etc those are there preferences!Women who need a man to handle us will unfortunately only get to pick thru 50/50 our counterparts or less beta feminine men who looking for a mammy or Just continue to be independent & alone 🤷🏾♀️ because a Provider man has preferences rather he mentions to u or not but his actions will show u & if u get ghosted by men that says alot..actions speak louder than words
I'm glad a woman understands This 🤦🏿♂️
@@22FLYDUDE yea I had to get out my feelings and stop taking things personal Start to use my brain and think logical 💯🤦🏾♀️ it only makes sense why would a guy want to provide to a bossy,aggressive ,contolling chick who doesn't respect him and makes him feel less of a man U can't get a provider being like that and u can't talk ur way into a man handling u when he doesn't have to he has more options why would he deal with u
@Glory Roads 💯😩🤣🤣
The Chris girl was kinda rude….but this is a good discussion. I see valid points from everyone, especially Jessie. She had so much grace and was non disrespectful with her approaches
Jess you need your own show
This girl in 🍊 is a full bm worshipper. Bw go through a lot as well do we have to look out for bm all the time?
Both sides have grievances.
You should always look out for your partner. Don’t you want him to look out for you all of the time?
Bc she’s light and they love her. She’s a pick me
@@BB-qk8on oh the colorism card!!
All this talk about "broke" dudes. You pick them. You want balconies in your life, but don't want to chip in. Is your plan to use the man up until he has nothing left and then shit on him because you spent all the money? make it make sense.
5:03 homie the said, “You do this over here and I’ll take of this with the finances” just earlier said, “I like to feel like the damsel in distress” I’m not a psychologist but I strongly suggest you get counseling because I’m looking a the definition of bipolar an you’re definitely showing more than one characteristics of being bipolar. How can he lead you when you already made up in your mind you think you know where you’re going an which direction you want to go!?! Crazy
I need to be on that show