the truth about making friends at uni
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 24. 07. 2024
- friendships at univeristy... THE TRUTH
here's an honest sit down chatty video sharing some tips on how to make friends at uni and a lil throwback to my time in first year trying to make friends. I know the uni experience is so different for everyone so this isn't reflective
/ timestamps /
0:00 intro
1:00 uni can be v lonely
2:26 my best tip for having friends
3:24 jOiN sociEtiEs!!!1!
4:47 prepare for weird encounters lol
5:33 one off friendships :(
6:45 social anxiety
7:37 don't be too hard on yourself đ„ș
8:42 ur not alone â€ïž
10:11 Manifestation âš
11:15 Outro
/ music /
Music by Yung Wacho - That's That (feat. Tony Rashad) - thmatc.co/?l=B8870852
Music by Citrus AveEnue - Quietly the Cat - thmatc.co/?l=A30DB87Cthat
/ socials /
/ chrstinna
/ christina.aaliyah
email: christinaaaliyah1@gmail.com
/ faq /
Where do you study? Newcastle uni
What do you study? Medicine :P
How old are you? 21
What do you film/edit with? G7X & Premiere pro
Do you have any resources for 1st/2nd year medical students? Yeah, here's some of my notes xx bit.ly/3tvUIki
/ Sub count 3.3k /
/ tags /
christina aaliyah, medical school, medical student, med student, med school, Friendships at uni, friendship, how to make friends at uni, friends at college, how to make friends, lonely at uni, lonely at university, university UK, moving into uni, moving back to uni, university vlog, uni life uk
I'm in third year and still haven't found the friendship group. I feel like if my first year of uni wasn't online, I would've found that tight-knit friendship group. I also found ACS was kinda clique-ish too. If you don't fit in, you are basically ignored. Great advice from this video though!!!
Heyy, honestly sameđ it wasnât until year 3 where I started to come out of my shell more and meet new people, bc we werenât online anymore. Some societies can be cliquey, but with time youâll find your people I promise đ
I feel so utterly alone and itâs the worst feeling ever. Itâs making me feel like thereâs something like wrong with me. I know no one and Iâm suffering from severe depression and anxiety which is also preventing me from going up talking to random people. Even me wanting to join societies is crippling me because of the fear of going alone and not finding what I expect there. Itâs just so fruitless,everything feels so empty and nothing comes of anything.
Like Iâve exchanged Snapchatâs and instas with a few and nothing has come of it and I feel like Iâm the only one. Itâs fr making me wanna drop out because the isolation hurts a lot and I should be enjoying my first year but I hate it.
Aw bless you đ„ș this is exactly how I felt, like you want to join societies and meet people but going on your own is terrifying. I went to a feminist society event one time and every there just ignored me đ„Ž I totally get the feeling
I promise it gets better, it wasnât until year 3 that I really started to make proper friends. Iâm planning to make a longer part 2 version of this video. But if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me on Insta đđœ youâre not alone đ„ș
I feel the same
Ä°mprove yourself dont care about people dont be clingy or dont talk to everyone unless your energies really match and just focus on you, love yourself and put yourself out there even its scary or make you feel bad, cause you will see its not that bad and you will move on and wont care about anyone that dont even know you, only you know you, you have to love yourself and level up in the areas you didnt have a chance to
I hope you will have some peers ask you to join their conservations
I'm in second year and even though I kind of have a friend group I feel like they don't talk to me as much and we don't do things. I've been feeling extremely lonely and bad. Comparing myself to other people and thinking I don't have "enough" friends, just like you said. Thank you for sharing your experience and letting people know they are not alone. Because that kind of lonely feeling makes you feel like an alien or even a weirdo... it sucks
Youâre absolutely not alone đ„č Itâs the worst when youâre in a limbo, you *kinda* have friends but youâre not actually that close to them. You just feel a bit like an outsider, planning to make more vids like this once my exams are over, but Iâm so glad you found this helpful Mina âšđ
iâm in first year and i feel so utterly alone and isolated. i went into uni thinking itâll be so much fun and iâll make so many friends yet i have a âfriend groupâ that only reaches out to each other to ask about coursework. my flatmates and i are not close at all and lowkey hostile with one another. iâve spoken to some people in my seminar and weâre friendly with each other/ always saying hi and smiling but god forbid anyone sits next to me! like theyâd rather sit alone than with me. i barely go out and often end up rotting away in my room. i donât know whatâs wrong with me and i donât know what to do. everyoneâs idea of fun is going clubbing and getting absolutely hammered and itâs really not for me.
that part about sitting people rather sitting alone really hits home đ„Č i feel like what you describe is actually the most common uni experience, not the massive friend groups that people make it out to be :((
will you believe me if I tell you that I am in the exact same position ?
100% agree with this video, you also want to make the right friends. People who will support you not judge you
Absolutely đ«¶đŸ
Why is it so hard to find these types of people. I'm not in university ,but I have friends who judge me and talk about me behind my back
Uni is lonely but you have to have an open mind to try things with different people. Even try making friends with people not in your course is so great !!
Well done for touching on this topic
Totally agree, thanks Julia. If you do what youâve always drive youâll get what youâve always gotten. Have to try new things đ
im glad i found this video! im ending my second year and its starting to feel like every connection, every friendship Iâve made so far is falling apart.. so its been kinda hard. i needed this boost and to know that weâre not alone, its good to be reminded of that. so thank you. :) best wishes to everyone!
So glad this video found you at the right time! đI need to make another one bc friendships at this age can be a total whirlwind and I know weâre not the only ones who struggle with this!
Thank you so much for this video! You really made me feel better about my experience at uni⊠I could relate to so much of what youâve said! And youâre right! I do you have to shift the focus to myself.
your channel is one of the most relatable channels I've watched :(
thanks Izabela, that means so much
It was "THE" video I've been looking for!!! AAAA It was so good o know that Iam not the only one to join socities late n alone n allll!!!! I could relate to every single thing you've gone through!!!! Love from Pakistan!!
i'm literally at my lowest point now, people that i have called "friends" are now being ingenuine and it made me realize how alone i actually am in my uni. no one really reaches out to me and making new friends at this point is hard. it doesn't help that i have anxiety and depression. the only good thing is i am graduting soon so once uni is over i won't have to feel upset about friendships.
if it makes you feel better, my "mates" made up this disgusting assumption about me and have left me out now for months. very awkward. was meant to go to a festival with them over 300 quid i probably wont go now... so lost money and im meant to be moivng in with them already signed a contract so im in a difficult situation. one of my coursemates shes doesnt like me over a lad i dont care about. so basically i have no friends too.
Its my first week and i already hate it because everyone has their own friends already?? Like i tried talking to the girl next to me but she literally ignored me and talked to her friend next to her.
Bless you đ„șđ„șppl can be like that sometimes, honestly youâve dodged a bulletđđœ you donât wanna be friends with people like that who ignore you and pretend like youâre not there đ©
Thank God I am not the only one who has been affected by such problem during my first term! But the worst thing is that now I am ending my 2-nd year and nothing has changed: I am totally ignored by people I find at conferences etc. That sticks me to people I already know and limits my social interactions, leading to doubt whether I am a good communicator...
I like your videos - they are very honest and sincere. I wish I had more insight when I was your age. Making friends is always very difficult for me - more so for sustaining friendship. Wish I knew this was normal when I was your age. Anyway, now that I am older I have a few friends who are close to me - grand total of maybe 3 , but the numbers donât matter anymore âŠ.
Thanks girl đ I always think quality matters more than quantity when it comes to frienships
I thought I found friends in uni but some were fake, others didnât bother making an effort post-uni. Itâs unfortunate.
Iâve been out of uni for (a lot! of) years now and ultimately couldnât sustain one-sided relationships. One thing I would do differently, as you mentioned, was have different pockets of friends and not try and bring them together đ
Glad you could relate on this one! I really want people to know they're not alone and a lot of us struggle with this! I's not worth sustaining friendships that don't reciprocate, I'm glad you've cut those people off :)
4:00 - 4:50 THIS TO A T!!!! We seriously aren't alone and the grass definitely isn't greener on the other side. I wasn't even a part of these superficial friend groups and right from the get go I knew there was drama bubbling underneath the surface and turns out, there was! Please don't get caught up in the fake perception everyone.
as a first year this video definitely cured me a lil bit
Iâm glad this made you feel better đ„ș
great advice glad I came across this, I'm in first year and in London so its defo even harder without a campus, I've ended up applying for a transfer lol bc my uni Is boring af :)
Good approach and good advice
Thanks bestie
Itâs my first year studying in Nottingham. I know that sounds weird and I donât want to sound rude but since I am Asian, I feel more comfortable hanging out with them a bit more but recently my view has changed. I wanted to hang out with whoever I want to. But the problem is when I donât smile, I look like I am angry and I think everyoneâs afraid of it. In classes, I donât have friends and itâs intimidating to go to class on your own without putting pressure on yourself because my course always requires group work(itâs a language course). I feel like I donât fit in as I am the only Asian. But I do have friends from societies but they cannot help me that much as we wonât see each other often⊠certainly can meet their friends but still might be in their year or whatsoever⊠I am lacking friends from the same year thatâs the problem. When I was in high school, it was the opposite as I knew a lot of people from my classes. I can concentrate when I am studying alone but not in the class unless I have a friend and that will make my life whole lot better. When thereâs too many people I cannot talk freely and I feel like I am a bit reserved on people. It takes a long time for me to get close and comfortable with the person I am talking to. I have no clue what I should doâŠ.
Don't feel bad about only wanting to hang out with other asians, that's totally normal. I know a lot of people who only socialise in bengali society/ACS/Isoc. I've noticed people are a lot more open to meeting new people once they're in year 2/3, for some reason everyone in year 1 is so fixed in their friendships đ You're not alone, I really hope things will get better it took me until 3rd year to find my group of people đ
As an autistic extrovert who has just finished his first year, this video hit me like a roaring freight train in the relatability department. Despite being told that i have a naturally sociable, charismatic and likeable energy, i struggle with taking any conversations i have with people further. Literal processing of the social cues traps me in a catch-22 of struggling to read if people i communicate with want to be friends and knowing i could just ask them to spend time together but worrying that im forcing things. That being said i have formed two good, close and meaningful bonds with both my coursemate and future housemate who i met on the housing boards. Im sure that if i stay proactive in meeting people that i'll eventually form more of the bonds that i seek, with people who see appeal in the literal aspect of my personality. First year is difficult, but it's not the end, and neurotypical people in your position as well as fellow extroverted neurodivergents will see a lot of appeal in what i have to offer. I've made it my mission to find them.
P.S: To any soon-to-be first years about to apply and make their first steps into the world of higher education, listen to my advice. Do not under any circumstances go for a flat classed as "quiet living/low alcohol", you more than likely be matched with overly introverted, boringly studious housemates who will waste all their spare time in their rooms studying rather than socialising. My former flatmates didn't even want to do something as chill and relaxed as having a meal together. Not my vibe at all, and a death sentence to having a great, fulfilling uni social life that makes close friendships, truly. Rantdumping your video was a sobering watch and gives me hope for the future in a much needed moment of time. That being said it fills me with immense pride that i have shown more character than two flats' worth of people (the devils that my coursemate and future housemate had to call flatmates) and gave someone who was just about done with uni something to live and stay for. Will give me something to smile about looking back on year 1.
I'm glad you've got 2 meaningful connections at least, I always believe quality > quantity matters with friendships.
Thanks for the advice too, I never knew 'quiet/low alcohol' flats could be like that đą
I know this is was posted a year ago, but youâve summarized how I feel right now. Iâm an junior and havenât found my friend group yet, and itâs so isolating. I basically spent the last two years as hermit and now Iâm beginning to come out of my shell, and still havenât found any found. I tried being with my schoolâs ACS group and it feels kind of cliquey so idk. And Iâm so sad and lonely, trying to get through the last two years of college, đąitâs rough!
honestly hang in there đ„ș it's rough at first but i promise it gets better, i had to work a lot on my confidence, coming out of my shell and not being afraid to say hi to people. i got better over time and now i feel like it's a lot easier, i might make another video about it one day âïž
I ve been 6 years in medschool, but i ve faild 3 of those years
So it's the 3rd time that i have to make friends again with completely new people
The problem is that it was not so difficult the first two times because we were all in 1st year
Then the 3rd time i got lucky and found a friend group for the classes
And now this year it's really difficult, because i only have some courses since i ve already succeeded most of them. So i m not often in class and when i m there, i see all the people already having friends group and nobody trying to come to me
And i ve become tired of going forward to speak with others so i m staying alone for now... it's pretty depressing
Gladly i have a boyfriend outside of the school, so i m not fully alone
Also what i ve tend to experiment is that those friends i made were pretty much always only dchool friends, they never texted me outside of school almost never invited me for stuff and hang out... which is kinda sad
I d like to also have that sort of friendship.
Iâm in first year and want to befriend people outside my course but Iâm not sure how to approach others without intruding them
It always feel tough at first đą but as a first year donât forget everyoneâs in the same boat , ppl are probably hoping you reach out and say hi đđŸ
i made a boatload of friends in my first semester because we were initially put in dormitories but then when we got separate rooms , everyone got scattered and now I am sitting alone in my room feeling utterly empty and hollow , trying to focus on my work but wondering where it all has disappeared, where did they go ?
đđđuni is such a lonely place, i feel like so many of us are in this position
And everybody to themselves too. Ppl either have their friends or they donât care to have friends.
Made friends then fell out with one and the one influenced the other cus I got distant due to things being heavy on my mind. So Iâll leave lecture straight after turns out they already detached or ended friendship when there was invested energyđ€·ââïžsigh idk I feel like itâs a waste of energy when it comes to uni friends as youâre just meeting them. I keep the rest at arms length too many bad weird experiences with ppl at university
honestly its better to have no friends than the wrong friends, i promise, i think people get more mature once they leave uni/get older. people tend to be more immature at the start
Speaking of weird encounters, sometimes you can get verbally pranked by people taking advantage of your desire for friendship. I was once asked "so are you into road biking?"
"Omg ya actually! I don't get out as often as I would like to though".
"I'm actually really against road biking."
facepalm.
This video is facts. Making friends in university ain't easy at all bro đ€ŠđŸââïž
fr đ i had to learn this the hard way
Covid made it harder to make friends too đ€ŠđŸââïž