Why you should not take things personally - The Second Agreement (The Four Agreements)
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- čas přidán 8. 06. 2018
- Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. If I see you walking on the street, and I say to you: “Hey you look so stupid”. It’s not about you, it’s about me.
But if you take it personally, then you probably believe that you are stupid. You’d be thinking: “How does he know? Is he clairvoyant? Or can everybody see how stupid I am???”.
Things always happen in the external world, but how you take in and respond to information is going to determine what you internalize or not. You can choose to either internalize things positively or negatively.
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When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally we can never be hurt.
When we see people as they are, whatever they say or do, even if they lie to you, it is okay. Because you understand that they are lying to you only because they are afraid. We have to respect that everybody is not at the same level and cannot be at the same level.
Be the best that you can be: Communicate with positivity and share wisdom to those who are willing to listen. But don’t try to to change anyone, because everyone has to go through things by themselves in order to learn. This is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships. Accept people for who they are and when someone does need help, they will ask for it themselves.
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Thank you for sharing this, and keeping it succinct, visually engaging and practical. One small tip, if I may? Try to avoid absolutes such as always, never, anywhere, etc because such extremes are difficult to actually prove. For example, "Nothing will ever hurt you again." Really?
Sweeping declarations might seem to be more powerful with their utter lack of ambiguity, but they are also untrue and undermine your credibility. Meanwhile, the overall message is totally credible, so eliminate the distractions of black or white declarations. My contrary nature starts itching to point out all the gray areas and exceptions to the rule, blah skip it.
Bonus points for rightly attributing the inspiration for the video (The Four Agreements), giving credit where is due. Great job. Subbed.
We do not know what people are going through in their own life, and we do not know what life experiences they have had. Therefore, what they say to us and think of us, is not based on our life (or reality), but their own. Therefore...we shouldn't take things personally that they say because they have not walked a mile in our shoes. *Great video!*
Thank you. After ten therapists, I finally found someone who can actually help me! :)
I suggest you to read “Four agreements book”
@@ShivaKumar-uc7el life changing right there 🔌🔌🔌🔌
Spelling.... Casting spells...
you take things personally because you agree with whatever was said
It's my favorite book and I think it's the most important principle of the 4. If you don't take things personally you are on the path to success. Thanks for another great video!
Don’t suffer the lamb. When you’re wrong you’re wrong (parallel street). Knowing a lesson but having a companion to share the lesson with is priceless. I’m a hopeless romantic 🤭
I take things personally all the time I hate life sometimes
People are shit and will always try to bring you down. Stay strong & do it for yourself!!
This channel deserves more subscribers
Video Saver I agree with you 100%
Yeah, unlike Jake paul
Even for just a 6 minute video, I was constantly getting realizations knocking the wind out of me
Thank you very much I can teach my whole family this my daughter and son’s!
Thank you so much. i learned so many things about myself and realized what prevents me from communicating with people.
4:25 you would like the idea of having a common ground that everyone follows but in reality they don't
You're channel deserves more subs this was helpful thanks.
thank you i really needed this
-About 50% was true for me , some people bully or insult others because they have self-conceited for important or silly thing it doesn't matter , some of them don't humble.
- Loved the video keep goin man ❤️
I agree with all that you said, especially when you're innocent.. But what if it's really YOUR own fault to begin with? You wouldn't want psychopath or narcassist to think: 'oh its not my fault its their voices' do you? Because its gonna be dangerous mindset
Completely agreed! That's why the second agreement just doesn't make sense to me any longer (like it did 20 years ago when people generally were better)
Thank youuu! I feel so happy after this video 😊😊😊😊
This is so brilliant! Now to remember it!
Thank you so much for your wonderful work.. 👍
Thank you so much. This helped and it means so much to mean that I found this video.
Great video, thank you!
Thank you,so much
I've seen so many videos but this video literally explains everything in the best way possible. Thank you. Thank you for this i hope you become a big CZcamsr Best wishes my friend 👍
Thank you.
Amazing!
I didn't agree with all of it but it had some really great points, so definitely worth a watch. Thank you for making this video.
What did you not agree with and why?
Surely you do have to take something's personally.e.g. A spouse who has addiction problems and is affecting the family surely the opinions of others matter
I think this advice goes more for people who have irrational thoughts causing anxiety self hatred etc,
This was help!
3:25 i have never have experienced such a thing
4:37 classic response
great job. loved it except for me piano music was so loud i lost focus on the message, take it for what is worth
Wowuuu
So if someone’s slaps you on the face in front of your other colleagues because they are crazy and temperamental, you should just reframe that and give it a different meaning? Not sure how you would handle that other than either slap them back or demand an apology!
humans don't have hearts in the context from my view
Yeah...what are you supposed to do when you constantly get negative feedback? Life isn't that simple. You can't just 'not' take things personally. All this advice just disappears when you're in a room with outher people and you just get ignored, despite trying to participate. When ppl you know are always calling others and hanging out, but they don't call you (you have to call them). When this keeps happening, what are you supposed to think? At some point, you have to figure out what is wrong with YOU. That makes you self-conscious, and the pattern just repeats. Some people win in this world and some don't. Some of us are ignored and left behind, and it isn't our fault. People are cruel. Absolutely cruel as hell. And it's those of us who want to change that who suffer the most.
True, people are quite cruel. Very cruel. But what this guy is saying is that nothing is wrong with defending yourself or taking your self out of toxic environments. You have to take responsibility for your own life. Also not all feedback from people is correct- it os coloured by jealousy and resentment. That's what he means by not taking it personally, you won't if you have healthy self-esteem
Then tell this to every individual convicted by any court, any legal system, in every country on this planet. I don't care if it's USA, UK, North Korea, Poland, Hungary, Japan, South Korea. There is nothing bad nothing wrong with crime or someone being a criminal. Those are just labels, insults, that angry politicians + judges + lawyers make up. They have NOTHING to do with absolute physical consequences of actions and decisions.
Nobody should take a "guilty" verdict in a court personally. It is already bad enough that that person suffers torture by imprisonment or torture/harm by being fined money.
Am I selfish?
But sometimes, if you don't take something personally, you're eventually going to take your lack of action personally for not standing up or getting offended at one time too many from these sneaky abusers
Yea that also sounded like turning the other cheek while ppl are shitty and abusive. Doesn't really add up but oh well
what if it is straight up fact that i am a loser, that i just know this.
3:35 proves the existence of demons
Just saying
ow
Everyone has an INNER CRITIC--find yours at askandreceivecoaching.com/brain-change-cards-kate-cohen-posey/critics-black-brain-change-cards/
Abuse like in Sweet Dreams
Imagine if I would have🫢🤥🤫I wouldn’t be here today 🙄🤠🤡
Well there's an opposite of what you say. What if somebody ignores you and you think that they don't like you and they're not saying a word to you because they ignore you. They talk to everybody else at work but they don't talk to you. Looks like to me that they don't like you. Even if you start talking to them they say to you I'm not even talking to you so I don't know why you're talking to me. That sounds a little rude to me and I would say to myself gosh that person was really rude to me what's wrong with them what the hell did I do to them to deserve that kind of treatment. So do you think I want to talk to that person and engage with them after they said I'm not even talking to you so why would you talk to me. Like I said my other co-workers they don't even talk to me so I'm thinking they must not like me because if they did like me they would engage. They engage with everybody else but not with me. So it's either a problem with me and they don't like me or they are horrible horrible horrible people and they just don't like people which is not true because they obviously like the ones that they're talking to
But they picked me because I think I want fight back.... Which is ridiculous it's a good way to get shot or recorded and put online and lose your job
Women dont athourity to comment......zero logic
It's not true, what if you criticize someone for a fact that he is dumb, it's not a projection it's a fact, if someone is really frickin weird, and I tell him that, it's not about me it's about him
Its a projection of who you are,projection of how bad you are as a person.... And you are projecting your own inner pain and struggle by degrading somebody and calling someone stupid,dumb etc......
@@fr7820 it does mean that something is lacking inside you, but that doesn't mean that what you say is wrong
@@ATXpert yes,we have to remember the phrase 'hurt people hurt people'..... And if someone calls you dumb or stupid take it positively like we have to improve ourselves....
You shouldn't tell in his face he is dumb, because that is offensive. And most importantly it is just your opinion, for others he may not be dumb. Some people are good at math, and bad at languages, that doesn't make them dumb. Besides being dumb doesn't hurt people, but being a bad person, being cruel, being unfair, being racist, being abusive... Yes speak up! Those are things to point out , but being dumb? Again that is just your opinion, and sometimes we should keep our opinions to ourselves.
Be someone with a good personality and a strong mind by not hurting people or saying negative things to them . In other hand not all people will think like that , Some of them will feel offended . And if he is too weird leave him and chill your mind man