Why You Care So Much (and How to Stop)
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- čas přidán 13. 06. 2024
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How to stop caring about other people's opinions, the past, and the daily inconveniences.
#selfhelp #stopcaring #personaldevelopment
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Intro: 0:00
The 3 Needs Of Every Human: 0:55
Society's Programming: 4:45
How To Stop Caring: 6:02
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About
Hey, I'm Cole Hastings. I'm a vegan athlete/content creator with a passion for videography/video editing, among other things. I help people build themselves physically/mentally through fitness and self help videos.
how to stop caring so much, how to stop caring about what other people think of you, how to care less, how to stop caring what other people think of you,stop caring what people think, stop caring what others think, why do i care so much about other peoples opinions
Which one of these needs are you most guilty of?
Need for Control guy here
In my younger years I’ve blindly trusted employers and other institutions that didn’t serve me. I’m now learning to manage myself and my time so I don’t need to be back in that position to survive....
...However, this leaves room for analysis paralysis on what I can control and what I cannot. Essentialism by Greg Mckeown helped me deal with this but your video has reminded me of the importance of this
Need for acceptance (by everyone) pretty much negatively influences every part of my life. Been working on it.
That's such a good book! Love ot
Same dude, lonely days get tough sometimes cause of this
constantly thinking about peoples perceptions before i do or say something. trying to self-affirmate before i go to sleep of learning to shut that part me off.
I am an old guy and here is some timely advice : 2/3 of the things you worry about in life, never happen.
Thx bro
You're an old guy for a reason
I agree 💯, I am almost 70 and you are right
Thank You Sir
Thank you very much sir, I'll remember your words!
I am slowly starting to pay no attention to other people, and set myself first. I feel like our society is revolved around pleasing other people, that we stop caring about things that actually matter.
Me too seems the older I get the more comfortable I feel in my skin and embrace who I am! We got this bro! 👊
@@stylewithaltitude This comment is so true 👌 As we get older it gets way easier ❣️
I like to think that when people say something funny about me or laugh at me, it is them who have a problem, it is them who are insecure.
It's weird because most people are people pleasers, but at the same time nobody really gives a shit about anybody else. It's like living in a movie and everyone is playing a part. No wonder there's so many mental health problems nowadays, how can you stay sane when the world in front of you isn't real.
@@itsandyme9192 100% agree! They are using you to try to validate themselves. And if that's the reason why they're attacking you, then they're opinion isn't even there own truth as they wouldn't think it if they felt complete.
Getting off social media is a good way to cleanse your mind.
Having more real friends that you actually meet in person is better than scrolling your phone
i just recently went homeschooled and it’s so hard for me to make friends
@allyssaalexander1074 how're you doing rn?
I agree to this. I started building a bad habit of scrolling too much
@@allyssaalexander1074 you can go outside to the park if you have one nearby to make friends also you can ask your parents dont be ashamed
When you stop caring about other people’s opinions, you start to appreciate and enjoy your life
Other people's opinions are theirs, never yours 🥰😻😻😻
“As long as you learn to ignore society….while living in it… you will start to enjoy your life.” OXYMORON
...and those folks starts coming back, enjoy life even if meant to be alone.
9:51 I tried that once. Just laying on the ground doing nothing. I can't even begin to explain how liberating and fresh it felt. Some people even passed by and asked if something was wrong, and I replied "never felt better".
Weird but also cool
Cute but also strange
You aight? 💀💀💀💀
popular loner?🥹
@@certified9104 They already told you! They’ve never felt better
My biggest problems are:
1. Caring too much about things that don’t matter
2. Not caring about things that I should think are important
(Edit: 4.4K likes holy guacamole tanks yall)
Same can be a real pain sometimes
Same mate, same.
yes, same its too paiful
Do what makes you happy. That’s a life goal ♥️
How to know which are important and which are not??(╯︵╰,)
For those of you that have trouble imagining how to stop caring. Running helped me a lot. It makes you gain perspective on the world, your problems and how some things just don’t matter. I usually go in the evening when there’s not too many ppl and i can be alone with my thoughts and reflect on life.
wear a neon reflective vest so u dont get hit by a car! and spiked shin guards to ward off loose biting dogs.. OOPS there i go again, caring too much! ha ha !
@@Lauren-vd4qe thank you for the advice💐
@@reikadoodles well we dont want anything terrible to happen to you on your thoughtful jogs eh
I dont think your ever ganno see this but, Id like to say thank you, Im an 18 year old dude who just went through hell... I was standing on a cliff and thinking of jumping but I thought before I jump Lemme try and fight life. So I wanted to find how to stop caring about things I cannot control, And I made my way to you, You dont know who I am, But I seriously thank you for all the videos they are really helping me with life rn. Their were times when I didnt have the strength and try but hearing you say things, Things that needed to be said is really helping me.
I know your never ganno see this nor are you ganno look at this comment but Really Thank You
I really hope that you are feeling better ❤
I’m really proud of you and I’m Glad that you are still here. ❤
Proud of you my man... I hope you don't get to the level you were when you were standing on that cliff... You'll only get better from there 🫂
I am also struggling Alot because of caring too much and I’m glad I came across your comment. I felt silly feeling better after listening to these small words but they mean the most more than the stupid words I read everyday on social media society sucks and we really gotta tune out of the “norm” to feel normal. And forget about the brainwashed maniacs And their opinions
You deserve to be safe, happy, respected, appreciated, and loved. The assholes out there that make you doubt this are weak and ugly inside and they don’t deserve to share space with you. Keep seeking better people. Sadly they are sometimes really hard to find but if you keep searching, you can find a good soul to be around. Until then animals are incredibly healing. You got this!🫶🏼🦋🤗🤗
This video made me realize how much of my time I'm wasting on earth, not doing what I want to do just because I care too much of what others think. For example, I usually never comment on youtube videos because I always want to have the perfect thing to say so that I'm able to please everybody, so I decided that this comment will truly show me that i have the option to not care and do what i want.
same pinch bruh i hope u get what u want i mean it👍
Good on ya mate!
czcams.com/users/shortsNQ3R6Yd3H-o?feature=share
Relatable fr
Who?
cares
"No one is born ugly we just live in judgemental world"
That is not true.
And is in fact one the cliches.
In a physical sense, perhaps. But what about towards the actions from individuals and in a mental and emotional sense? We, ourselves, although not born ugly, but the actions we make makes ourselves ugly. People can be ugly, and as a result of it, started a world of judgement in the first place.
Look idk what I'm saying either, but i had a point
@@randomhumanbeing2285 Life is a strange place...
@@randomhumanbeing2285
That still doesn't make anyone born ugly
I’m currently living by one motto in order to stop caring.
People’s opinions never cashed me a check. 😎
Yeah... we no longer live in a civil and a social world and what people think cant be taken seriously these days
This video reminds me of how sweet and loving my mom was and how she raised us and just how the world can tarnish all that. This world doesn't deserve the kind and loving person she made me to be, it's really sad that people take people pleasers like me for granted. I learned here that it's completely ok, to dismiss those who mean absolutely nothing to us. From here on out, I will always voice my opinion instead of just trying to make others happy or like me.. 😊 May we all go and step on a few peoples toes. 😉
Well you are absolutely doing the right thing you don't have to force people to like you.. remain who you are and those that are meant to be your life will always be there for you...well how are you doing today
Its tough coming a from a soft place but it’s better. You got this.
as someone with social anxiety, this helps a lot when i talk to others because i can just stop caring about what they say. Thanks for this cole.
Yeah you can beat it, and you absolutely should beat it, I know someone who is jobless cause of social anxiety and still lives with parents.
@@clashoclan3371 That’s probably gonna be me soon…
@@clashoclan3371 why do you ppl care so much when someone lives with there parents...whats wrong with that?
As long as you are not a freeloader, helps in chores, contributes financially then I don't see something wrong with living with your parents.
what helped me combat social anxiety a lot is the realization that people are not going to focus on your messing up, because they all worry about themselves to begin with. And if you do mess up, it's going to be forgotten very quickly by others. Everyone is living their own lives, has their own stories, and this liberated me from the fear that people will judge me for anything I say or do. I still haven't fully recovered from social anxiety because it's still there like "hey, you just said this and that to your best friend now he hates you", though I hope even those thoughts of anxiety go as well.
@@clashoclan3371 what's wrong with living with their parents tho. I'm a Filipino and a lot of adults here still lives with their parents.
People are miserable because of Instagram, yet they're still on it because if they're not they feel like they're non existant.
Don't worry about what others think. Care about what you think. Love the haters ❤️
if people can post themselves to instagram it should not be too bad. Since they have the courage to even show themselves.
@@thanosthelord5594 forgive me if I'm wrong but, it sounds like you're not on social media. It's ok if you're not I just thimk you don't understand how brutal social media can be, especially to people with insecurities and burdains.
Nah, I mostly post in IG just to save those happy moments,,, and share it with ppl that I care. Wtv other ppl achievements don't bother me at all, I knew they sacrifice something to be in place that they are right now, so why bother?
@@likelyladsss that’s the way it should be, but in most cases all that shit is fake, the posts are not a reflection of the real lives these people are living. Some people are more impressionable than others and they take what they see on ig as the truth and nothing but the truth and they start feeling bad about themselves, unfortunately. I know plenty of people who flex on ig like they have it all figured out but in real life they’re train wrecks. Imagine if an app was created that requires you to post everything at any given moment? That would be interesting wouldn’t it ?
There is this internal block I come up against. I know I shouldn’t care. Intellectually I know everything you mentioned is absolutely true, yet when I am faced with the negative energy, I am crushed emotionally because the body absorbs it before the intellect can talk itself out of it. Its like you have to be an energy ninja warrior😢🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Same here 😢. Emotion get over my intellect.
There is no point on exerting yourself with something you cannot change!! There is a way to not stress over something and still be a good person. I learned just be yourself!! Great video like it!!
*AS A PEOPLE PLEASER AND OVERTHINKER, THIS HELPS ME ALOT*
czcams.com/video/i6VJktTRbsE/video.html
Noob
@@royalcrown2238 Seeds?
Bmf pls
@@royalcrown2238 the overthinker stills learning how to control it, Grow up.
To actually not care about anything, you just need to do two things. Have 0 expectations, and do not care what a single person thinks of you. Do those two things, and remain grateful, and you can be happy while being in even the worst of situations
@@ashd8046 because it is you literally cant do anything if nobody likes you, you cant have kids, or get a job
Yeah if u dont want to care, then just stop caring top tier advice
*Mental Health issues has entered the chat*
Yeah, don't think that's how it works for everyone. 😐 Also why? I would never want to not care about *anything* or *anyone.* if I managed to do that then I'd just be depressed, what's the point if nothing seems to matter and I don't care. I activity want to avoid that kind of thinking.
„Reality - expectations = happiness“
- *Elon Musk*
the thing is it's not just a single person.
i was a having a mental breakdown and then seen this video, this is the best part of media, helpful, inspirational, and comforting videos like these, thank you
ive had panic attacks because of this topic but im glad i pushed myself through the whole video. You are absolutely right with everything. Ill just have fun and live how i wanna live. Great video!!
I like the way you think man. We're all gonna die in the end, might as well live authentically.
@@mikeskylark1594 wtf haha, meat its so delicious and plants too yum yum
@@mikeskylark1594 Tell that to the lion pride who killed a buffallo today
@@mikeskylark1594 we do need animal products, what do you mean? We aren't herbivores
@@mikeskylark1594 It’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make. If it makes me selfish then i’m selfish i’m sorry lmao i just like eating meat and fish.
@@mikeskylark1594 There might be, i just prefer to not consume them.
Summary: Don't overthink things and just move on
Thanks, I’m cured! Best thing to do is limit people in my life.
I have limited my social media and the ppl in my life but I still overthink things a little too much but I’m not gonna overthink no more so thank u man
YEA!
thessalonian 526, "greet all the brethren with a holy kiss"
@@FaZeHawking how original, taking bible verses out of context and taking it literally
I really need to stop overthinking
“You can control any situation you’re presented with!!!”❤
Hi, I have to do a school dance in like 12 hours from now which I haven't memorized completely and i'm scared everyone's gonna judge me, can you help me?
You always have choice, options
My list:
1. Don't waste your precious energy and time on em. Let them waste theirs. They will just drown you into the pit of passive-aggressive "I am righteous than thou" type of toxicity, so don't fall for it. Cut them out.
2. Cherish yourself. Cuz not all people would do it.
3. Ups or downs, people would still find anything about you for the sake of having something to talk about, out of boredom or just for clout. And this type of grumpy people is everywhere.
Here's my hug for y'all. Stay safe and be happy. :)
🤗
thank you those are some great advices
Thank you I needed it at this time
first point is toxic. don't let them waste their time. give them the energy they give you. don't comletely give 0 fuck about them
Here's a hug 🤗 back 🤗
Simply asking myself “wait... why should I care?” literally helped me overcome my crippling social anxiety. There are so many moments throughout my day where I think I can’t do that or I can’t wear that or I can’t go there simply because I am 100% fixated on other people and what they will think. I don’t even stop to think that maybe it just doesn’t matter and I should decide what I’m going to do based on what I want.
That's actually the best advice one can use.
That really works.........
The question 'why? 'literally helped me. 👍
your perspective really shifted my views for me, thank you
Do u one better, say to yourself ' no need to care, ' and add in' there is no benefit' or your own extra reasoning phase if required.
I just ask myself this: "How about them? Oh, then how about me?" That phrase helps me a lot.
Because, ups or downs, people would still say something about you, that's a life reality.
I want to thank everyone for sharing and being vulnerable and showing your intectual side this is very fulfilling ❤
You are amazing! Thank you so much ❤️ my mind has recently been overloading me with very intrusive uncomfortable crap and now after watching I feel way more at peace. Thank you thank you thank you!
Be okay with disappointing others. Free yourself from the responsibility of caring about their feelings.
Horrendous advice
True
@@doms5755 fr this is just degeneracy in a new form.
uhm.. no
Ummm no. You need emotional responsibility in order to have healthy and profitable emotional connections
People are going to talk about you no matter what you do, so you might as well do whatever brings you joy and live your best life!😊
Well said 🥰
Yes that’s true but for somebody with social anxiety any amount of talking about us effects us. It’s not that easy to do.
Yup and even if they do, that means they're not worth your time
@•Saab• • That's what I've been keeping in the mind as soon as I realized this fact, it's really just whatever that brings joy to your life. You'll never please everyone, so just stop caring too much and keep on doing what you love the most! 💖
Yesss ❤️
When I discovered that pleasing people is simply an instint that remains from evolution and not something necesary to do in life in order to be happy, that truly made me feel way more free
It’s a skill that is so hard to do but once you can, you’re unstoppable ❤
I learned this about 1 1/2 years ago… it started with deleting social media and turning off the news. The world and people around you are much better than you’re being told
Bro, I need to do this. I don't know if I want to completely turn everything off, but I want to severely limit it. As in, I'm not doing it out of mindless compulsion anymore.
@@aIkaIi it is freeing. I deleted my Twitter and it was refreshing. I don’t miss it, and I didn’t miss it. I think I was at the point of being over Twitter that’s probably why I didn’t miss it. But I’m thinking of Instagram next, but I have my business page on there so that one is tough. I am rarely on Fb. And I have snap. Do what you think you need to do. It is so freeing.
@@aIkaIi I did that and it’s way better for me now so it’s really gonna help u a lot with it
Although I have social media, I don’t use it too often and I don’t see it the same way anymore. You don’t have to get rid of social media, you just gotta understand why it can be harmful.
I did this 4 years ago and never looked back since. It’s nice to reflect upon yourself and live your own life, how it’s treating you well.
I've been struggling with social anxiety disorder since middle school, the concept of "not caring" sounds like a dream come true, i wish it was this easy for me to stop thinking about what people think of me :'(
That's why he's telling you this overtly. It's a "how to" video; he's not expecting you to flip a switch :) deliberate effort will go a long way eventually
Same bro i can feel you
Yeah,- I wish it was easy to not listen to the bad things classmates say about me... or to not listen to their laughs or rude comments...
@@ghostofthefallenvalkyrie3320 tbh just punch them in the face and move away from there. Find better people that respect you. I know it really is easy said than done. But I'm also struggling the same as you. Be strong.
@@abeebzcpogo i've been trying to change and i agree, effort goes a long way, therapy helped me change my mindset, so hopefully things will get better as time goes by
Wow, I also had that feeling that one day when I will be gone it will does not matter and I shouldn't care so much. Love this
You probably won’t read this, but you changed my whole perspective instantly! Well spoken and much appreciated!!
My issue is I care what people think of me in public. Which is silly since I don't know them.
True but at the same time think to your self "who are they" a bunch of absolutely nobody's.
Youll always come across people who tell you want to do etc.. who are they and what authority do they have over you ... Nothing ..just look at them like they nobody and mean f all to you.
If they ain't paying your bills they not relevant to your life.. so focus on you and what benefits you only.. you gotta take care of your self first before you look after your own family.
Same i have this feeling that when someone's laughing. There's a voice in my head telling me that they are laughing at me and i makes me anxious
@@KidsbeingKids97 same! I need to changed that mentality.
@@bloo22ca it looks like social anxiety. Aziz Gazipura has some good books in this topics.
@@shaer6 true
My thoughts exactly bro. We are not these flesh vessels we inhabit, we are the awareness that controls them... that’s it. How they look, what they wear, doesn’t matter.
That's what I'm talkin bout
Flesh Vessels would be an awesome band name lol. I totally agree too, nothing really matters except our awareness of the world around us and our place in it.
I Agree Brother.....Tell It
@Adam that awareness is YOU bro ur individual soul/self.
my guy out here spittin truth
Whenever I start getting really sad and start caring about shit too much I come back to this video and it helps me feel better I love you
I've spent a lifetime being a people pleaser, a mug basically the last couple of years due to burnout I've learned not to care.ive had to rethink my life and learn to say no. Also not take on other people's troubles. I can show compassion but not jump in and get involved. I'm a work in progress but getting there slowly😊
This video is definitely for me. I used to care way too much. I abandoned my own needs, and always priotized people’s needs before mine. It’s ridiculous as it sounds. A while ago, I was going through such a bad time that I couldn’t function, I mostly just sleep. One night, my friend texted me saying she felt under the weather. I immediately went to buy food and medicine, and brought it to her. I felt exhausted mentally and physically but never showed it.
I always agree to hang out with my friend even on days I really needed space for myself. I’d always be willing to walk the extra miles to help people with their problems. I made people’s problem my problem
It was extreme. I was over caring and over considerate
Now I’m focusing on myself more. I ignore messages unless it’s something urgent. I tell my friend my reasons and that I hope they don’t take it personal. It’s so not easy for me because I feel guilty for needing space and not solving their problem, or listening to their rants.
At least I feel like I’m slowly putting down a weight I’ve been carrying. I’m able to hear myself more when there’s no other voices and dramas and ranting. I don’t force myself to smile when I want to cry. I feel much better when I care less
You are kind. I love you, beautiful soul
Awww
just know youre loved, appreciated, and ENOUGH
You're a good kind person and sometimes others will take advantage of that. When someone asks you to do something for them and you don't feel like it just say, "no". No. - is a complete sentence. You don't even need to explain. And if they're a true friend they will understand. If they are a user and/or toxic they will get angry. It's a good test. I had to learn this as I was also a "people pleaser".
I feel you bro
That's y many people around me keep advantage of me in including my friend that in the end is fake frient
For me I learned to stop caring so much cause I'm done.I'm done with fake friends I'm done with fake ass people with ungrateful un appreciative people with nasty attitudes all the time.It use to have a impact on me but not no more I'm "done with all bullshit now" I love myself more and whatever issues I have I'm working on it on my own....I'm In control I'm a surviving warrior in life so I put myself first before anything else.Being strong ain't always easy but it takes work patience,faith and practice.
Same man same, I let go of all my friends that didnt even wrote my a text or gave my a call in the last 3 months. It's hard to stop giving a damn when you love people and you want to be loved but I guess it's a part of life each and everyone has to learn that
@@lecomtedeneuch9994 That's why you gotta be very careful with ,who you trust and who you deal with.Cause some will find reasons to torment you and make everything seem like it's your fault when it's not.Do what I do if they continue to annoy you or piss you off with bullshit nonsense if they aren't sorry and don't care you move on...and cut their asses off for good and I promise you it'll get easier for me cause you'll realized they were the failures in your friend ship not you.If they don't care about you or respect you then they don't deserve to remain in your presence.If you cut them off you'll feel much better and peaceful where you know that they were fake asf to even waste your time and energy being their friends.It's pointless to have people who are around you that ain't for you or if they don't really have your back at all.Just to leave you high and dry like a dying tree...know your worth and know what you deserve man don't stand for that shit man!.Can't no one do it but you.
@@manofsteelgoodmanll7925 I began a healing process one half a year ago, I lost 36 kg (was 119kg), I'm now 83kg for 1m94, I'm fit, I became confident in myself and I remain strong during covid times although I couldn't see anyone for 16 months in the situation I was in. Now, I begin to take things slow and to be a better judge of character, I'm not akward anymore bc I don't think I'm akward anymore. I'm happier than ever but yeah sometimes it's hard when you have no around bc you have to create new friendships and relationships at the age of 26 but I never feel really down. I'm going to the gym 5 days a week and I'm about to start dancing classes and MMA. Life is getting better each day and I now know that I'm gonna be fine ! Thanks man, Appreciate you took the time to respond to me. Take care of yourself King !
@@lecomtedeneuch9994 thank you you too and that's good that you'd acknowledge your own worth.I'm happy to hear you got in proper shape. Always put your self first before anything or anyone else.Do you and love yourself but mostly be proud of yourself to say that your blessed but trying to focus on your goals for you.It won't be easy but take it as a challenge like I do cause that's how you'll win and succeed in life if you believe in yourself to work harder.Like I said if others are against you to only try to break you then fuck them you don't need no one to guide you through the obstacles but you....stay safe always.And you take care as well and good luck to you on your special activities through MMA.But have fun fighting for your dreams don't let nothing or no one stop you....if it takes work do the work, get prepared to work and put into work to get what you want and need.I even went the gym 5days a week to prepare myself for challenge for my cleaning job duties as well.
You spitting the facts!! I have delt with so MANY and still deal with fake people. I'm sick of them, I dont spend any time with the fakes. There not worth my precious time. Exactly, loving yourself comes first. I'm still trying to and I'm going through alot right now after a incident and I'm trying to love myself again. Its hard after you put so much energy into that one person and they leave... I lost myself in the process. I agree with what you said 100% though.
Ever since I was younger I was never accepted, like in school, when I went to sports etc. I ended up developing social anxiety and I've been trying to not be so socially anxious anymore and this video made me realise that caring about what people think of me is so stupid because I can't control what they think of me and even if they do think something negative about me it isn't gonna effect my life.
This video is 100% gold, completely accurate to my life, & is very much appreciated.
I know this video is a year old, but specifically today I've had a lot of my stress and anxiety about various things all cave in. I just made some breakfast, sat down at my computer and this was the first video in my recommendations, and it completely helps. Thanks for making this man. It's crazy how that works.
we live in a simulation fr
Good for you
czcams.com/video/i6VJktTRbsE/video.html
This video does explain why I feel so judged and don't really fit in with a group, even with my own family. The thing is, I've spent too much time alone, talking to myself, not realizing how negative the impact was on me. And, I haven't accepted myself for who I am, just spent time reflecting on my flaws.
I don't know if this helps or not, but personally I've been trying to see myself through other people's eyes more. Like I try to listen to little compliments I get, and I try to remember that my friends don't see me as the mess that I see myself as. They see me as just as amazing of a person as I think they are. I'm also trying not to overthink as much, or insult myself in my thoughts as much. And I've been constantly reminding myself that I'm a person, just like everyone else. I'm flawed but so is everyone else. You might have flaws, but hey, so do I! That doesn't make either of us awful people. I think people like us just have to focus a little more on our good traits and hope that someday we'll like ourselves more. And if you can spend time around good people that you care about that helps too. But anyways, sorry my comment is so long. I hope you're doing okay
@@fivealry Thank you! This advice did help quite the lot! I am doing a bit better, reading this comment! I will definitely try to do this, as it does seem a very helpful, and thank you again.
@@TheCZcamsDemon23 No problem! I'm so glad I could help and I'm really happy that you're doing better :)
@@fivealry Thank you! People like us need to stick together, after all!
@@TheCZcamsDemon23 No problem! We really do!
Hi there, just wanted to say that I appreciate your content. I'm a college freshman struggling with social anxiety and this made me feel a lot better after watching ❤
Can't believe I use to be mad at the weather like dude I can't control or do something about it such a waste of energy.
Everytime I get sad at night caring too much about the past ,this brings me back and reminds me to focus on myself ,thanks man
Fokus on GOD and JESUS they will help u to but wateva makes u happy makes me happy I’m very proud of u man👌🏾keep pushin
1. It's okay to care a lot, it's not okay to hurt yourself caring for other people's issues.
2. Do not cut off your feelings all together, everyday you will feel less alive then before you make that mistake.
3. Know when to express yourself and who to express yourself too. Don't show your feelings to anyone who undermines ANY of your feelings.
4. Empathy is a sign of understanding.. its a form of critical thinking. Don't downright throw it away, just know WHO to empathize with.
5. Follow your passion, your dreams, your hope, your inspiration. You follow those and no one's feelings will matter and the meaning in this video you would have solved yourself.
6. If you dont have any passions, dreams or inspirations. You did number two and cut off your emotions to much. (Your best bet is to get those feelings back and to do that follow the dreams you stopped caring about or ignored. Make your childhood dreams you stopped caring come true... it will surely bring back feelings you lost long ago).
In short, know when to do things at the right time. If life were to be only about choosing based on an advice, we wouldn't have problems after making the same mistake multiple times.
Genuine question: what if you've never had any childhood passions/dreams/aspirations in the first place? Because I sure as heck didn't.
@@Dxpress_ I have similar problem. What if you just realised that your dream in life is just to beloved. You feel all goals are already fulfilled and feeling content everyday but other people expected more from you.
@@Dxpress_ It’s good to have some kind of ambition, go out and do something that even slightly interests you. Whatever it is, as long as it isn’t selling drugs or some shit, take the inch and run a mile.
@@thebush6379 But people need to be taught this at a young age because it could help prevent trauma later on because trust me my parents acted like trauma didnt even exist. So when i got hit by constant abuse by the people around me... it hit me HARD
@Dxpress You definitely had some they just might not be big things. If you didn't have any childhood dreams you were likely very happy as a child or knew your parents couldn't give you much. They might have been small at the moment things like wanting to go surfing or going to a carnival or watch a certain movie and just because they aren't careers doesn't mean you have to be sad about that. Society tricks you into wanting careers (because they just want brainwashed workers). The point being you might be free spirited like a horse you know to cherish moments at that second rather then make a life's goal to achieve something. (Nothing wrong with that either.. having a career is better for your future but at the same time. You can die tomarrow and not realize it and then that's that.) They're is no wrong way to play Life, and people tend to forget that. Derphan is right though about one thing its good to have some ambition. Ambition is a wonderful emotion to have... the first time i felt Ambition was when i went Boxing. I usually am not the competitive type, i follow my flow. But this one dude who i was good friends always made me want to be better then him. We were friends but it was like a Rivalry at the same time. It's an Addicting emotion to have but it makes you never want to give up. If you don't have one... try to find your hobbies. Trust me... its an emotion you wont want to get rid of.
Thank you so much for making this video! I skipped to part 2 because how we all care too much is for whatever reason. I was looking for the cure and you literally became the lighthouse for my stormy seas of care too much. Nothing really matters and I ain't doin nothing but love so, spreadin a lil love is what it is...
Idk what to do my most problems rises from caring too much😢😢😢😢😢 I want to stop caring about everything
Literally just what I needed
Thanks
Same
Yes aman
same
“Same” no shit that’s why you clicked the video
699 i did it
Thinking about this made me way too anxious, but i am trying to liberate myself, thank u so much
It can be a scary thought for sure! I hope it helps in the long run
Know God is there
What is
@@ragav.r7060 A heart. ❤️ =
we all do - to smaller or greater extent but as Cole said, be present and know what matters to you the most.
also, if you guys could have a look at my new yt channel on mindfulness, I would be super grateful!
I saved this video as a reminder that you helped me through my darkest time years ago, when nobody around me did. And it still helps me in the present time.
So I just wanna say thank you once again for your work.
Dude this video helped me. It actually helped me almost instantly during a problem I was having at work today and the situation ended in my favor. Thank you so much!
I came here too cause I’m having an issue at work that’s making me so sad ☹️ glad everything went well for you!!
I am telling you, this is somehow life changing, I watched this a year ago, and I am just coming back to tell you guys how good this video is.
How is it going now? How is your life?
@@enjoying4308 Better than before, I would say.
Did we land on the moon again?
@@CaptainEvillian Now that I’m reading my comment again, I see what you mean… Still keeping it in tho
Same here. I definitely need a refresher. I am starting to care a little too much.
yes,...that thing changed me.."NOTHING IS PERMANENT" and the life is like a GAME ! yehhh i don't care about anything and my mind and emotions are now on a base line. only i can feel that peace 😇
@@ramdustincarandang7798 sounds like you are
czcams.com/users/shortsNQ3R6Yd3H-o?feature=share
@@ramdustincarandang7798 you sound like a bad guy
I watched this video 2 years ago, and I was at my lowest. I just want to thank you, I’ve felt happier with life, and have done things I would have never had the courage to do before. I do what I please and if someone thinks it’s strange or weird I just ignore them; half of the time all they can do is give you a stare of judgement. You really played a big part of my motivation so thank you! 🙏😁
Broooo I subbed. That mindset is amazing and that is what I have been developing lately! I finally reached the point of so much less care, and it's freedom/peace/happiness in a degree! This video only confirms my recent thoughts!
I am the opposite of this. I don't care about anything at all. I am so careless that I don't even care about myself. Now I want to start caring but I'm here to tell people, you can stop caring, but don't go too low.
The main idea is stop caring about things that negatively affects you, like what people think of you, seeking validation, or always expecting the worst instead of believing in yourself. You shouldn't care about those things and care more on what actually matters like your personal growth, family, friends, hobby, things that makes you happy and who you are etc.
You shouldnt ignore every problem. That would lead to a even bigger problem haha
Story of my life , it's important to care just enough so you don't destroy yourself !
Who?
cares
i thought people who don't care about themselves always just care about others happiness ......
See, the problem is when this guy is his “authentic self” he’s like going out having a good time with friends, staying healthy, and hanging out in his nice apartment, when I’m my “authentic self” I’m wasting whole days eating potato chips on the couch. I need to care more
There is absolutely a balance when it comes to our cares. In the wrong context, "not caring" could lead to worse states of being. What I've learned, at least for myself, is that I need to categorize my cares into 2 "baskets". One basket is "I need to care", the other is "It's not my business".
Obviously, if not caring about a particular thing leads to further decay in mind, body or spirit, then you need to change that.
Sometimes you can dissect different aspects of one issue and categorize your cares. For example: We shouldn't care what other people think to the point of it controlling our lives, but we should care to the point to where we set a good example and are being fully understood in our expressions. That way, we don't care what they think about the things that make us intrinsically who we are, but we do care that we are effectively being seen for who we actually are. Truly, "you" are not a slob who just devours potato chips. That's a learned behavior and habitual program. Who you are is deep at the core of your being, but life has attached labels and filters to you which have become a sort of "natural" response or way of handling things. Who you are is so much more magnificent than all of that. So you should care to show up as your true self, but not care what others think about your value as you navigate that journey. Disciplining ourselves and evolving is for the sake of our higher calling, not for the approval of others in a small moment.
I apologize for the rant though lol.
I just felt inspired to share this with you. Have a blessed day friend 🙏
It's about not caring what other people think about you, but you should still care about what you think about yourself. If you aren't happy with yourself then you should improve on that, but don't change yourself for someone else.
just have balance bruh lol
Same here 🤣🤣🤣
LOL
Everytime in class when i had a doubt or wanted to answer a question, I'd always be scared of the judgement of the people, it would scare me to be judged by them and never wanted to be noticed much. Even while entering my class I'd just want run to my seat so people don't look at me. But slowly, i learnt not be be a people pleaser and get this thing out of my head that people actually do not care what we do, and if they do it's none of my business. I love these self development videos and help me grow more and more in life. Thank you ❤️.
I don't know why I'm crying while watching this. Thank you so much!!
I just graduated high school, and I'm doing basically nothing at the moment because I need time to just have fun and not worry about anything. I definitely have a problem with caring too much. My therapist suggests that I should be more selfish and not care what people think. Right now my goal is to improve my mental health status enough to where I can survive on my own and live my own life. I don't care how long it takes, I just want to be happy with who I am and find my passion, but it's a long process. Thanks for this eye-opening video Cole.
Exactly, we care too much for out future and we dont give the importance to our present, the true meaning of life is to be happy and if you are happy with nothing you will be happy with everything
gl for you!
Literally me too
Lmao just dont get lazy bro, my older brother took this approach and now spends his days playing video games fucking off
@@chunkychunks9661 yeah haha, I was about to make the same mistake I made a couple years back but I decided to apply for jobs soon so I don't become a sack of shit lol
People, don't be too sad about Caring. Caring is also a good thing. Don't cast it out completely in situations when it needs to be presented.
You are so right, I’ve been a people pleaser while using my own version of this mindset. I began to hate myself due to my inability to care and and thought I became a people pleaser which made me feel narcissistic. I still have so many regrets but someone helped me without knowing it because I was going through hard times and now I know why I’m so bitter, it’s because I’ve been depressed my whole life from caring about others thoughts
How about importance of selected people’s opinion during our short life span?
right. Reading the room is essential at times
Impeccable timing. Thanks for this reminder.
I could watch this video today, it was the best lesson I've ever learnt.Honestly when I finished watching this video,I realized that the acceptance was my biggest problem and then I was suffering from the need for control. I sincerely thank you a lot for recording and sharing this great video❤Keep up the great work👍
I used to care a lot about what people thought of me but now that I'm 22 I simply don't care anymore. There will always be people who hate and won't like you for what you do but just erase them out of the picture and focus on the positives
True
It's almost impossible when they're family, I know they want the best for me but God they have no idea how they make me feel with the consist criticizeing non stop I lost myself in the process I don't even know who I am anymore
Thank you very much
Yees
( at 22 you're not even born yet) you'll get this by 40-50
I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life and I’m just starting to learn to do what I want in life. I have respect for my family but often I’ll be persuaded to do things one way or another depending on someone else’s views. This video helped me realize that our time on earth really is limited and that it shouldn’t matter how I live my life so long as I’m happy and doing what I want to do to get the most out of what time I still have.
If everyone had your mind set, we would probably be have less violence.
People have been living rent free inside your head, luckily your eyes are open now.
@@Fb-gj5rn not really because lot of these people pleaser often have represive feeling that can manifest in very negative way
@@TheMorous true but not everyone is like that. The way forward in that case is to see how social constructs dictate how we dress, act, etc. And moving past them to care less about what others think
It might be too late for you, but good luck.
Wow such a powerful thought😊😊Good luck brother❤
I got this video as a recommendation and chose not to watch it because I thought that I shouldn’t stop caring about things. But after watching I see how wrong I was and I’m going to adapt this mindset. Thanks for the advice!
Months after quarantine and being away from people, I got to focus on myself and what actually matters. I forgot what life was like and so did everyone else. When I finally started talking to people again, I was so much more loose and cooler, I’m now way more popular. At the same time I was watching family guy a lot and I decided Peter is an amazing role model for not giving a shit
Wow, I remember the same thing happening to me around 2017, but change the animated tv show role model for not giving a shit to Rick from Rick and Morty, it really changed my perspective of life, kinda like the beginning of the rest of my life
THIS
I've never been a social person and everyone talking shit about me because of that and i was like ok if you like going out do it just without me like why i have to be the same? those guys going out to drink throw up and repeat over night thats just not for me
I think one important step to stop caring is getting comfortable with death. And the people that got comfortable with death are those who experienced a psilocybin mushroom trip. Mike Tyson for example
@@florentin4061 bro wtf are you on?
I already don’t care about things in my life because my crippling depression has made me emotionally numb
Mine has made me care about every little thing
i felt that to my chest
Had the same problem... One day you will understand that you can overcome all the challenges live gives us and choose to Be Happy again
@@IM_ACID *dabs*
Your life is worth living 💞 take any means necessary to ease your depression as long as you are not hurting others 💞 you do not deserve to live in depression 💞
This video changed my life, my perspective. Did more good than weeks and months of therapy. thank you 🙏
Thank you so much. Your not right or wrong. This is what it is. Don't stop understanding.
*Understanding the vastness of universe surely gives existential crises but it also gives a feeling why people have so much on their ego!*
Put a sleep on yourself.
Wait but if you understand the vastness of the universe then surely you and other people should realize the ego doesn’t matter. Yet you are saying that is the reason why people have ego’s im confused.
@@pratik5065 egos might grow because this crisis, not mattering, is unbearable to accept. It’s their way of having control of things, or more so trying to
@@BK_vvs That could be true. That is just even more depressing to do tho. However sometimes even i let my ego get in the way even tho i know all this.
@randall-flaggwow thanks to destroy my ego bro, this really take this seriously/personally because ur jokes but I remember I need to be matured and not take this personally/seriously, thanks bro
I have a friend that told me, "There's no such things as Maturity, only awareness and it's the only thing you need to know." When being told by that, I thought of it before that it's like when people ask you to be mature, and stop acting like a child or baby, you would think of being mature but you don't know how it'll make you one. So I told her that "you're right". At the moment, I thought to myself that it's better to have knowledge to things on your own then later on, listen to the thoughts of the society, so that you won't get overwhelmed, pressured, overthinking about the same subject, and also changing thoughts without thinking straight.
maturity is a biproduct of awareness and acceptance my grandpa taught me that 1 like how my friend taught me that there is no good are evil only actions and consequences
czcams.com/video/i6VJktTRbsE/video.html
@@xargalakthe7thplanar326 Right. But hopefully when people say that you're not mature enough, we'll say something like, "chill, im a human being and i know for a fact that people will always mature, and that we don't know how, but we know how to make ourselves, still ourselves." 🙂💓 I was once tired of being called things that aren't real but it wasn't because of being too sensitive, but it's already fking with my mind.
I'm on my journey of self improvement and im glad i came across this video... Caring about what others think about me has always been a personal struggle of mine and still is but this video has made the load on my heart a lot lighter... Thanks so much
There’s talk about people who only care about themselves and other videos that say Stop caring about other people. You must have that small circle of true friendships.
It all started when I fell in love with a girl and putting her first. When she broke up with me I was so obsessed and I cared or overthink too much about her. Now thanks for these tip.
i tried committing suicide, later that day my partner broke up with me. its fine im getting better now
@@zuky_puky4246 yeah that's the same thing that happened to me. when i was super depressed, she broke me. but now im better but not as good as before
@Arth Amazing Man, it's actually a very similar situation of mine. The girl I just talked about also left me like that, she broke me the 7th time but she kept saying "I still care for you" and I don't even care anymore. I don't like her, but I can't hate her. Let's Move On mate, we're man!
Just think of them as just a person you didn't know, because they once were.
Kinda in that situation right now, I just cant seem to let go and its bothering me 😑
A couple of near-death experiences slammed this realization into my consciousness.
Did you have near death-experiences?
@@johnnylawrence2555 he legit just said he did
@@johnnylawrence2555 Was in an airliner crash. Also, mugged at night while working security at a shopping mall.
@@swabby429 I'm sorry hope you're doing better
@@swabby429 I'm glad you made it through
Thank you! Awesome video. For the longest time, I've based my self-worth off of other people without realizing it. I've grown past that, but this video helped me realize the hold that other people still have on me. Part of me is still afraid to do things because of how I think other people will react. Also, there is a mom of a friend that I have that posts pretty accusatory things that aren't specific enough to narrow down to who is being attacked. I decided to not care unless I specifically am brought up because if someone has a problem with me, they can talk to me because that's what adults do. I'm done with letting the opinions of others constantly stop me from doing what I want to do.
Man God bless you for your content. You making people better. You should be proud of yourself.
"You can control your reaction to any situation you are presented with in your life" AMEN to that.
Just stumbled on your channel, great content man!
I'm an artist and I care WAY to much about what people say about my art.
"Is this all you draw?"
"You should draw something else?"
"You draw this too much"
And I starting thinking to myself:
Life is too short to be worried about what other folks think that I should be doing with my art.
Plus, if all artists drew the same subject matter, it'd be boring af.
Life is too short to be drawing shit that I don't like.
It's hard, but I learned to just ignore people's opinion on what I "should" draw.
Props to the artists who draw whatever they want despite their art might spite controversies or have low view rate.
If you want to make money i think you need to listen to what others thought about your art..if just a hobby just ignore
@@g33k_Tech I do wanna make art my job, but I'm not going do what most folks want me to do.
I'm not interested in painting/sketching realistic portraits.
Also I'm simply just terrible at it, I don't wanna give someone a bad portrait.
The problem is that most people want realistic art from me.
But I'm more of a cartoonist.
It's folks telling me my art is too weird that's annoying.
Or because I draw cartoons, that somehow makes me less of an artist.
It makes me upset, but I need to stop caring about folks opinion of my work.
Like, I drew my profile pic. It's a mushroom man. I love drawing plant and mushroom people.
I understand drawing different subject matters, but I love drawing cartoons and drawing surreal things.
I plan on becoming a t-shirt designer or a textile designer.
I'm clearly a cartoonist, but most people ask me for realistic portraits.
It's really annoying, it's like going to a butcher shop and asking for doughnuts.
I'm not trying to start an argument, I just get upset when people think artists should draw "this" and not "that".
I've seen a ton of artists similar to me that make a living from they're work.
It took them a while to gain a following, but it's possible.
(^u^)
@@aiyannaboykins7888 I think your profile pic looks cool. Tbh its very difficult when people have all these expectations and don't allow you to freely express yourself. Art is what makes YOU happy especially when you just get to make whatever you want. Definitely keep your head up and ignore what those people think. You're doing it for you and that's what matters. I hope you're able to achieve your dreams. :)
As an artist myself, I commend for sharing this! I’m a poet mostly, but I also sing/dance/along with photography! I’m agree with you, the annoyance is real (the expectations of others and their overall ignorance in this regard). I think this is why I don’t really spend a lot of time with fellow artists because either they feel threatened by “your” talent despite how talented they might be or as is common within the art community, people projecting what they think of themselves onto you. That’s why I always say “if I don’t connect with you as a person then any collaborations as an artist are out of the question.” I’m mostly solitary anyway, so I just do like the “romantics” I’ love and the “transcendentalists,” and hone my own skill and pathway! Keep doing your thing! From the tone of your message here, you sound VERY passionate about your endeavor(s) and again, “commendable.” Best wishes in everything! Artist to artist! Human to human! 🙏🙏🙏
This is really important for me,like,living on the present.Every single moment, I'm doing this.Time is the most precious thing we have!
Thanks for sharing. I don’t care what people think any more. 😊
I agree with the notion that we should view our life as an experience and shouldn’t value superficial things. However, although I would never advocate people pleasing, I do think that we should still be compassionate and learn from other people. We need to balance caring about others and our own needs of ourselves as people.
Eliminating caring completely is inhumane because we share the world with others; but viewing, caring and life from a different perspective (like you said as an experience) helps a lot. I don’t personally think life should be viewed as a game as it is reality and not something we should take too lightly, but I agree that we need to learn let go of our own inner critics and stop being judgemental and live life to the fullest.
Overall, great video. As a person who has an anxiety disorder, I used to people please a lot until I realized that it was hurting myself. That’s why balance is very important as that’s how most things in life work.
couldn’t have said it any better
Totally agree with your comment
I also happen to recently come across this video and I relate in giving importance to small comments and things like that or feeling things deeply😭 there's nothing wrong with genuinely being a caring person but it is VERY important to have a balance. Not everyone will think like us genuine kind people do
perfectly put
I think many people forget that life is a shared experience and doesn’t necessarily only revolve around us. We need to be aware of others as well.
I self-taught myself this, through not-so-great experiences with others. I would always try to talk to people how I felt and stuff, I learned the hard way that virtually no one truly cares enough. While it may not be healthy to bottle in most of my emotions, learning to stop caring about all these negative things has helped me an insane amount with coping and dealing with stress.
yes!!
I talk with people about emotions, but only from a practical and analytical way which makes it far more interesting. Pattern recognizing and thinking critically based on the reality that our brains are evolved organs and what makes us human is that we've become aware of this and our awareness alone gives us power to change our own biology through will power and time. We put all our skill points into adaptability, so decide what you wanna be and be that. Just don't give up.
I thought this would be another useless video but this video actually helped me connect the dots and explain my feelings and thoughts and the roots better thank you!! Also your voice is really soothing and comforting to hear!
I have been doing this for several years now, and it feels great,no rejections,no distractions living my life happy with me. Remember in a hundred years from now,none of us will be here.
I learned how to stop caring about most people in middle school. I was going through some serious shit and I got beaten up for the first time just because of rumors that I was hitting girls. How it all started is that I refused to stand for the pledge of allegiance and some girls were getting pissed off because I was supposedly being "Anti-American". Yes I went to one of those schools. So then at the last day of school, the girls were pushing me when I was trying to go home. And since they were pushing first, I pushed back and I ran off.
So the start of the next year, they were still harrasing me. And so when I went home, I wondered what was wrong with me. I couldn't tell if it was because I'm gay, or that I'm not completely white, or that I'm a left-winger in a right-winger town, or that's because of my looks, or how I dressed. And so I kept thinking, and came to this conclusion. "Why should I care when others don't?" So I started doing what I liked. And I've never cared about nearly anyone or anything since. Sorry for this long ass message.
Quite an astounding degree of insight & wisdom, thank you.
Thank you for watching
My only problem is, i don't care enough to keep watching
Omggg me too unfortunatelly 😢😅
But just enough to leave a comment to let people know 😅
"we are extremely small in a billion of galaxys". this concept has innovated me right now. Thank you very much
currently in the middle of learning not to care too much. As much as possible, I don’t want to please people anymore because I realized that the thinking i used to carry with me took so much of the respect that i should have had for myself before. Like It is okay if they don’t like me by the way i look, and how awkward i interact with people brought by me being an introverted person.
I learned this the hard way by having so many nights spent with overthinking which also made my heart be so heavy to the point that i was about to lose control of my mind and heart.
i must give myself enough respect and importance because in that way, i won’t easily be having lots of second thoughts, i’ll be more of myself, and be confident.
Just another thought: You can fulfill these needs by yourself.
1. You can control your reactions to external thing
2. You can choose to accept yourself and everything as it is and as it goes (the impermanence of all things) by being present
3. You can realise the consistency of change and impermanence
I'm 3 years late! to watch this video and realize how consistent and coherent you became . thank you very much, from an kindaold "people pleaser", but ending this conditioning nowadays.