human perfectionism
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- čas přidán 5. 10. 2023
- The Hippiearab Podcast --- S1 E18
Why is everyone scared of doing good near-perfect work? Studies show perfectionism can lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. But what if the way you've always thought about perfectionism was wrong? Perfectionism is not the devil, rather it's the way by which we go about implementing it that leads to our destruction. If used correctly, perfectionism can be the most beautiful thing.
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#islam #discipline #productivity - Zábava
When you unlock the new costume for your character
😭😭 real
We're leveling up. 😭
Farah better see this 😂😂😂
Pink suits her!
i agree :)@@silverkitty2503
Farah where is our china vase😂
Rightttt I screamed
so weird 😭 but i love it mashAllah
Was gonna ask her the same thing 😂😂
@@khadeeajebo8627 it was the first thing i noticed when i clicked the video
@@jezebelle2230 same here 😃
«Perfectionism is not you, you use it as a tool to get through»
- Farah✍️
pink is YOUR colour sis
So my Fridays now are composed of: reading surat Al Kahf + sending prayers to the prophet Muhammed peace be upon him + watching Farah’s podcast 🤷🏽♀️
MashAllah🤲🏻❤️☝🏻
I see where you are coming from but when I stopped being a perfectionist, life became less stressful and manageable. It depends what your state of perfectionism is. My perfectionism stopped me from starting anything due to the fear of failure and making mistakes. And when I did start and had those outcomes, I was extremely hard on myself and would stop because in my mind I was a failure. Trying your best and improving is much better than “perfectionism”. Don’t say practice makes perfect, say practice makes progress.
I've experienced this in my life too. I would procrastinate due to fear of failure and then just end up failing because I wasn't trying lol.
But I recently saw a video touching on this topic which helped me realise that striving for perfectionism is not the goal, instead we should be striving for excellence. The guy in the video said that; We as Muslims are responsible for our existence in the Dunya, so we should try our best and then have trust that Allah will take care of the things that we don't have control over. reminds me of a Hadith: Anas bin Malik narrated that a man said:
"O Messenger of Allah! Shall I tie it and rely(upon Allah), or leave it loose and rely(upon Allah)?" He said: "Tie it and rely(upon Allah)."
(the man was referring to tying his camel. in todays time we could equate it to meaning something similar to locking your car)
This was how I interpreted what farah was saying.
This is a struggle, and we have to *continue to try* despite facing setbacks.
being a perfectionist and trying your best are two different things tho. being a perfectionist ruins some people's lives and i've been at therapy for the last 4 months trying to fix that.
definitely!!!! i hope whatever you’re going thru eases 🤲 i came here to comment something similar and am glad i’m not alone…i get having a good title for a video but perfectionism is NOT the goal. we’re human beings who are just trying our best in this world
fr im somewhat of a perfectionist and i get super overwhelmed with pretty much anything because I just keep going, and worst yet i dont believe I can keep going. Trying your best is completely different and I am quite jealous of people who can try their best, keep going, and just believe in themselves. I 100% agree w you.
Yah she and most people in the comments unfortunately confuse hard work with perfectionism. Perfectionism is actually very unproductive and usually ends in you missing the deadlines, adding unnecessary stuff nobody asked for, extreme burn out, and worst yet, observing people who put less than half the effort you put get ahead of you just because they DELIVERED while you were busy trying to correct this and add that. Time management is the key.
@@BA-ph2yq OH MY GOD BRO. the last part ab people who put half the effort and time management is EXACTLY some of the struggles im facing!! everything else too but those last points!! ugh it makes me so mad, honestly just insecure tbh, when someone can get work done so quickly, hitting all points straightaway, and just learning and having time for themselves (tooootally not reffering to someone i have in mind eheheh) anyways may Allah swt bless them but perfectionism is something ive struggled with since i was a kid. bro my grade 3 teacher was handing personality trait awards and she said i was a perfectionist 💀💀. anyways yeah ur scary accurate blud.
@@BA-ph2yq couldn't. agree. more. 👍🏻 experienced all of this during my first 3 years of the university. Me and my therapist have been working on the perfectionism thing for a while and I got my highest scores last semester just because I stopped worrying about giving a perfect paper. When you worry about the "perfect work", the anxiety won't leave you alone and for some people it results in below average work. Instead, focus on doing your best.
Perfectionism is not trying your best. For most people struggling with it’s much more complicated than just not wanting to be tired. This is an example of how it could go:
-Let’s say: you are a 7 years-old child, and your caretaker never or rarely approves of what you do and how you do things, they don’t give you validation. When you’re at that age their validation or the lack of their validation plays a crucial role in how you see yourself and your self-worth.
Your parents' validation is not something you can control. And when they don’t give it to you, you see the fact that it’s uncontrollable as something dangerous. So, what do you do when you are in danger?
You try to protect yourself. You realize that doing your homework perfectly or getting a perfect grade makes you immune to their excessive criticism. So now your head is going like:
Imperfection= no control over people’s reactions = I am unworthy
Perfection = control over people’s reactions = I am worthy
In that age you are building your self-image through whatever your parents make you believe about yourself. When they send you the massage, that you are worthy of love and forgiveness even when you’re not perfect, you believe them. But if they send you the massage that you are not worthy of love when you are flawed, you believe that you are fundamentally someone unworthy of love, you need to be perfect to “achieve” worthiness. So, you go on with your life believing that perfectionism is a need, maybe not for everyone but definitely for someone as unworthy as you. Perfectionism now is the one thing proving your worth.
-now you’re a teenager and you know more about what it takes to be perfect, and the things you need to do to achieve perfection are a lot more. Perfection is not realistic and now it’s harder to convince yourself that it is. But for you as someone, whose perfectionism is the only thing that makes you worthy, facing the fact that perfectionism is something you’ll never achieve risks your entire self-worth.
One thing that people do in this situation is avoidance and escapism. You either do your homework perfectly or you don’t do it at all. You either pray perfectly or you don’t pray at all. Because you can’t face your imperfections. You turn to self-sabotage and procrastination, which is basically a way of telling yourself that you’re not imperfect, you’re just not perfect yet. It’s an illusion, but it’s safer than what you believe is reality. What you think is reality is that you’ll never be perfect and therefore never worthy.
Perfectionism is a coping / defense mechanism we develop when we find vulnerability dangerous. When it comes to ibada we need to face and embrace our vulnerability in front Allah. Doing your best needs vulnerability and perfectionism is not even close to that.
I know that this is not what you want people to do. But what I want to say is, that it’s not an easy thing to deal with and it’s a very valid reason to go to therapy. Perfectionism for people struggling with it is definitely Not a tool but a prison you don’t know that you’re stuck in.
I really appreciate your brutal honesty and it’s something I strive to be. But sometimes the kinder truth is the one we’d rather not believe.
And I really recommend watching lectures or videos by الدكتور عبد الرحمان ذاكر الهاشمي on this topic his Chanel is called فقه النفس/ مكاني
Assalamualaikum Allah bless you
Allah-uma-barik brotha/sister.
That was fire
May Allah have mercy on your grandfather and elevate him in his rank ❤ Thank you for this insightful episode Farah!
Amin
Ameen 🤲
Amin
it's crazy how you switched language from english to russian
im literally freaked out😂😂😂my first language is russian and as а native speaker I find your pronunciation very clear, good job
Yeah her English pronunciation is also flawless. I was shocked it wasn’t her first language.
I’m confused and curious, do they speak Russian in Saudi?
nope@@Londoloza031
@@Londoloza031, no 😂
Which time stamp
ive drifted away from my deen but i really want to feel closer to Islam and recently listening to you and watching these videos feels like im doing something right
You watching this is allah bringing you closer and a sign he loves you. Keep trying and never give up
I was just binge watching all your other podcasts and I saw you uploaded! I just wanted to say thank you for these podcasts, it may seem dumb to say this but you honestly changed my life you gave me the wake up call to stay disciplined and turn back to Allah. Thank you so much for all you do!!!
❤ Same here dear 🥺🥺
Me too now I started getting in to the gym because of her for the firts time and am getting closer to my deen alhamdulliah
It’s the best feeling after a hard good all day you lay down and you feel.. I don’t know, that you did your best even if you know you can do even better. It’s so nice 😭😭
I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandfather. May the All Mighty grant him peace. I'm a Catholic. I hope you don't mind if I pray for him as well.
As far as perfection goes, we should be giving our tasks our best. However, we also need to understand time management, and also place appropriate value on each task.
Perfection is optimal, but I think that giving things your best effort even if you fall short is enough. All we can do is keep trying to improve.
I'm a homemaker. My task is to keep things running smoothly on the home front. After 27 years, and with a grown child, I'm pretty good at it. Am I perfect? No. There is always more I could do.
Didn't get around to making dinner yesterday because I was staining and waterproofing the wood countertops in the kitchen. (They came with the house.) Perfection? Not even close, but I was doing my very best. I got in far over my head.
Husband walked into total chaos. Left without a word. Returned with pizza. We sat on the floor in the kitchen using paper towels as plates because the table was covered with small appliances and we couldn't reach the dinnerware.
As we sat there taking in the devistation, we decided to pull the trigger on getting stainless steel countertops to prevent this unmitigated disaster from occuring ever again. 😂
I fell short. It's okay. I tried hard. It was handled with grace, love and a lot of humor. And we created a story we will laugh at for the rest of our lives.
I love how you called god Allah the Almighty instead🥺that‘d why I love Christians you guys are so precious
You worded it so nicely! It’s true that we will never be perfect. God didn’t make us to be perfect. We’re humans and I love that about all of us.
@@sanane9576 he never said Allah to be almighty. Chrisitans concept of god is different from Muslims
You forgetting to change the calendar of the month says a lot to me. It shows that we are not perfect in a way that dictionary describes but it's perfectionism in 'human scope' really. Because despite all ups and downs, keeping on the track is what perfectionism and self-discipline is and it will take us to the perfect point of ourselves.
This episode made me take out my notebook, thank you Farah. May Allah have mercy on your grandpa.
honey these podcasts are pre recorded, edited then published.
it is, but that doesnt mean its not real since I experience the same thing in my life which is not pre recorded, edited and published ~
@@Lilienin yet farah still kept it in the video, I appreciated it because it showed that "perfect" is actually just us trying our best in the situation that we're in.
I just wanted to point it out. It’s same for me, my calendar is in 7 oct while it’s 10 if oct 😅
This pink shade looks really good on you
Farah, you remind us that you can choose the right path and be happy. I repeat your podcasts several times. You recharge us each week and i hope you will always do.
a 42 minute video from Farah; we've been blessed❤
Look at you. Watching you since this channel barely had subscribers. And now you're at 150k, you will hit 1m, easy. Inshaa'Allah.
passionately waiting every friday for farah to drop a video ✨✨
What an expression “putting his heart as if it is his stamp “
Sorry to hear about your loss. When I lost my mum 10 days before I'd be able to go back home from university and spend time with her, I also reminded myself that this was bound to happen sooner or later. Inna Lillah
Inna liLah wa Inna ilaihi rajiuun. Lah yrhemha
I'm in LOVE with the way you transfer the idea
I am sorry for you loss and may he rest in peace . Always you are awesome.
Thank you for these episodes Farah. I really learn a lot about spirituality. I am not a religious person, but while I get older and get to experience things in life, all bring me closer to spirituality and far from materialistic things and desires. Somehow by humbling myself, being grateful and not taking anything for granted, I got to feel more in peace. I hope you all have a beautiful day or night ✨ Greetings from Spain
Thank you for being serious and funny at the same time
THE MAKKAH PRAYER GOWN 🤩🤩
i'm so happy that you talked about this
I love hearing you talk. Thank you for being you and thank you for.. to many thing. I’m just grateful to find your videos!!
I hope you feel better soon Farah my condolences hun
Wallahi this is gonna be my all time favourite podcast ever. Subhanallah May Allah reward you for this
I appreciate your heartfelt message and your kind words about the podcast. It's interesting how life sometimes presents us with timely reminders and inspirations. Your description of the podcast as akin to meeting a dear friend every week truly resonates and I love it.
In these challenging times, I would also like to extend my condolences on the recent passing of your grandpa. May Allah, in His infinite mercy, grant him peace and eternal happiness in Jannah. I pray that Allah bless you and your family, providing comfort and strength during this difficult period.
Farah youre literally amazing, your words wbout everything have changed a ton of perspectives for me, you're so amazing 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Trying your best has nothing to do directly with perfectionism.
i was literally doing my hw and watching this at the same time and when you started talking about making homework neat i just stopped and redid the whole thing subhaanaAllah
34:16 SubhanAllah, in one one of deenandchai’s recent videos she shared the story of when Ka’d ibn Malik (RA) procrastinated in preparing to go to war with the Prophet (SAW) and the other Companions. He kept procrastinating until no one was left in their town except for the people with a genuine excuse not to go, the hypocrites, and him. :’(
It's Ka'ab right?
The color looks so good on you Farah!!
Oh I am sorry for your loss. I know it is the natural circle of life but I hope your Grandfather's memory is a huge blessing for you and guides you I can see already that it does. May God show him mercy I have no doubts that he will.
OMG IM SUPRISED BC I THOUGHT YOULL WEAR ICONIC HIJAB FOR THE REST OF YOUR CHANNEL
Pink suits you so well tho,Ma Shaa Allah 💗💖💖
Sincerely thank you for this video
Jazakallah for making this videos and sharing us the knowledge and the good talk.❤
I never comment on your video’s but i really like to listen to you. You always have something wise to say masha’allah, this video from you especially was really beneficial for me and i just needed to hear this. May Allah reward you sis ❤️
the only thing that i need to see and listen to after a long tiring day
Assalamualaikum Allah bless you with health wealth and what you want 😊
This is a therapy session for us all.
Assalamu 3aleykoum fara7. I’m a teenager living in ✨Europe✨ and I wanted to let you know that ur content is very beneficial for our Ummah . This episode./ the switch of perspective for our hard work. Transferring it to « for Allah ». I thank Allah for guiding me to watch this video . I love you and wish you the best in this life and the next
Pink looks amazing on you ✨💗
Mahallah you look damn good on this pink shade!
Do not and never stop doing these podcast❤
may Allah have mercy on your grandfather and grant him Jannatul Firdaus in the hereafter.. all the things you've said really hit me, especially the procrastinator part. thank you for your wise words and the wake up call
JazakAllah khair Farah Thank youuuuu🥺❤❤❤
I could listen to u all day istg.
you sister I can relate to this, I've been told it's unhealthy since I'm studying abroad at a French business school, and I've told the person that told me so, perfectionism is what's gotten me here, if it wasn't for perfectionism wouldn't be here
Congrats on the 150k 🎉
love your episodes !!
Beautiful Episode.❤
Thank you sis 😭😭😭 I’ve been trying to figure out why it’s bad since year 3 SINCE I WAS 7 😭😭😭😭
I was not ready for this thumbnail.
Assalamu alaikum warah matulLah wabarakaatu. MashAllah.
You are a rare Muslim on CZcams. You have a pure soul and understand Islam. Modesty on point and your personality and character is on point. I can tell you fear Allah and have ikhlas in what you do. (I don’t know what you do behind camera, but inshallah you continue to strive to do your best with Allah watching) sister I just really like how real you are. you speak with a true, right, and healthy mindset, what great inspiration for everyone. It’s refreshing to find someone who has a heart and not care for pleasing humans --only please Allah SWT. 😍😍😍😍😍
الله يسعدك ويكتب اجرك فرح
You made me realize lot of things , really great full 💗
والله شعور لايوصف لمن تشوف بنت بلدك محتشمة وتقدم معلومات اسطورية حرفيا الكلام مايوفي حقك استمري عقبال ال200 والمليون
من وين هي؟
سعودية@@Username_Mono
@@Username_Mono🇸🇦
KSA ?
@@greenbananas12378
Es selamu alejkum everyone from Bosnia and Hezegovina..😊Mashallah sister Farah for all your efforts..
It was so inspiring. Yesterday, I was accepted as a psychology student university and from many years ago I thought that I was perfectionist and I was sad because of it. Thanks a world. Allah gives you the best.
Assalamualaikum Allah bless you with health wealth and what you want 😊
Perfection through embracement of the imperfection that is part of the human experience since our departure from Eden.
Bismillah, Firstly I’d like to say Inna lillahi wainni liilaihi rajioon 💔 To Grandad “Muhammad Ibrahim” May Allah SWT Grant him comfort in his grave, forgive all of his sins and grant him Jannatul Firdous Ameen.
Thank you for posting again because I genuinely look forward to it every single Friday mashallah. I’m not really alone because I have Allah but practicing and being the only covering person in my huge family is definitely trying.
You feel like a friend and I really appreciate that, I listen to you as if you’re talking to me and you’re blessed to have that attribute mashallah.
One funny moment I realllly like is when you were talking about Einstein and you mentioned the two cars (relatively) from different perspectives of who sees what…then you followed with I don’t know , I hated Math Class….. 26:16 It took me a second but I bursted out laughing cause I was agreeing and then was like hold up hold uuup isn’t that science???? Accidental humor is the best because we all make mistakes and it’s OK ❤
Also, love love your prayer gown 💞
We’re just a bunch of Muslims, christians and atheists from different parts of the world listening to Farah
The ‘dyanatamean’ at 0:16. Excellent.
Whaaaat!! A new Garment? I love it 💗
I literally love youuuu your like my older sister I love watching your videos keep it up
You r the best person who I can hear even while my training!
I love you and you look glamorous pinko!🩷
Don't be a perfectionist but be someone who chases excellency. Farah I do appreciate your works but what i said is something I belive and have learnt the hard way
Allahumma barik... I listened to you for the first time, fell in love 🥹❤️
I'm sorry for your loss
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un: “Verily we belong to God, and verily to Him do we return.”
May Allah(swt) grant your grandfather Jannah-tul-firdous. May Allah make it easy for you to deal with his passing from this life to the next.
You have switched your prayer gown, which is new. I am ready for your Friday wisdom.
ameen
Ive watched one video and now im addicted
M obssseessed😢😢always waiting for ur videos ❤❤❤Thank u for this! U always make me feel in my element! Inner peace and faith🫂
the pink looks absolutely amazing on you sister, Allahumma barik
96 years is a huge successful longevity his wives really done great job to assist him to lead such a long life 96 .
Both wives your grand mom's are a blessing in disguise to your 96 old grandpa
Awesome. Personal satisfaction.
thank you for this amazing episode I needed to hear it genuinely and الله يرحم جدك و يغفر له
this is one of my favorite eps and so far the most uncomfortable cause farah just sitting and only throwing relatable facts of my traits ahahaha
Been waiting for yr video❤
Feels illegal to see you without the blue and white paisley print tbh x
thank you, farah.
Assalamoalaikum Farah. I'm yet another fan of your podcasts. Love them from my heart and you wallahi speak about exactly what i needed to hear or was just thinking about changing my mindset into exactly that week. But even overall your messages as a whole deliver an important and rare but much needed perspective on islam and well, how to simply be. So thank you for making these and being so consistent with them too. I know it can be challenging and I'm proud and soo incredibly inspired and moved by you. May Allah reward you for this struggle. I was just wishing if spotify could allow your podcasts in my region too (❤ from pakistan)
I've heard it said " we overestimate what we can achieve in one year, and underestimate what we can achieve in ten years."
Спасибо за видео!
Pink looks so good on you girl💖💖💖
New gown, new era
I'm enjoying your podcasts
Best video ever!! ❤
Allah y rahmou, Ina lillah wa inna ilayhi raji3oun.
Do you work properly heartly and don't bother if it's fails it's there when you get anxious and you should not... the result/outcome is as God will,it's not in our hands, put your trust (tawakol) on him. in short terms, perfect your work whatever the outcome...
Thank you farah ❤
الله يرحم جدك ويغفر له ويجعل مثواه الجنة
Love you ❤
I can relate to the uncles part so much 😭😭 i have 13 on my dad's side and 10 on my mother's side MasyaAllah
I finally found you alhamdullilah ❤
I was procrastinating but now I’m studying and I’m re-thinking of my approach to everything. Lately, I’ve been just binging different tv shows and being lazy. I get my work done but I dislike that I’m just being lazy. I have to stop. It doesn’t benefit me and I just feel numb afterwards.
Profound as always, and the Pink....absolutely gorgeous mashallah!
SHE CHANGED THE FIT
This Dress is screaming 🔥🔥
Grow on fast baby