Alok Vaid-Menon Exists Outside Of Your Heteronormative Gender Binary.
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- čas přidán 21. 06. 2015
- Alok Vaid-Menon is a trans-feminine Indian-American poet and one half of the performance art duo Dark Matter. Through sharing Alok’s post with your friends and loved ones, spread the message that gender is not about what body parts you do or don’t have, it’s about who you are at your core. As Alok announces, “I am Alok and Alok exists outside of your heteronormative gender binary.”
Alok's video was edited by Andrea Cruz
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I wasn't born in the wrong body, I was born in the wrong world.🥺
"When we go out to the clubs it always 'wow you look amazing!' not 'how are you getting home?" because we only matter when we're fabulous" wow. I've never thought of that before and that struck me. As a black person I can relate to only being of importance when we are a commodity/fetishised... but as a cis woman never thought of the ways I also may be doing that to others.
Feel this 100%
"I'm really invested in kindness! I think it's really radical!"
YES!
A kindred spirit.
No matter how many crystals you use you will never be able to heal yourself
A men wanting the world to be all about him, what progressive, radical and kind this is, right? Specially when he claims that if girls get abused its because they might not be pure, as girls are kinky too, right?
This man excuses abuse on children because "they are not the pure princesses we think" they are kinky too.
In a world that insists on pitting us against each other, kindness is the ultimate rebellion.
4:45 Wow. That explanation of transmisogyny is so brutally true.
'I wasn't born in the wrong body; I was born in the wrong world.'
So much bravery and beauty and WISDOM here. Thank you thank you.
The Four Queens But I feel like I was born in the wrong body, like my whole life I've hated how my body wasn't female. Not because of society but because it natural felt wrong.
Cindy Swadling yeah i guess its important to highlight that alok's experience of transness isn't every trans persons experience
Meredith Williams yeah, I think I'm a little unusual in that I mostly identify with gender fluid people like Ruby Rose but I'm a trans woman.
Cindy Swadling how so? with how she presents? (if you dont mind explaining)
Yeah exactly, and also like I feel kinda indifferent about gender I'm only trans because my body felt wrong before.
The poem at the end is absolutely beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. Alok you have so much courage, you are beautiful.
god that poem has made me cry every single time ive watched this video
The comments on this video aged so well
"I wasn't born in the wrong body, I was born in the wrong world." -Alok Vaid-Menon
"Art is the space we go when language fails us."
Sounds totally stupid
Morrissey would be jealous.
So he should leave lmao.
"your kids are kinky" - Alok vaid-menon
9:38 for those who keep coming back to this for the poem like myself
"How many ghosts does it take before a cemetery can call itself a country?" - dang, that really stuck with me.
@Boy Freitag wow very creative thanks for your input sir
i want to hug everyone on this channel. this dehumanised world needs more channels like this. god bless you for this. thank you
lexy scissors 😊😊
+lexy scissors yes my thoughts exactly! This channel is a life raft
So much agreement
Congrats, your comment aged like milk :3
@@StyleLikeU1 ¿Why haven't you erased this video? You know pretty damn well that he's a pred -- ador. ¿Are you really that inmoral?
As a trans person I thought I knew everything but this individual just made my brain cells explode thankyou so much 💓😭😭
My eyes are filled with so many tears. That poem. Just Wow.
I want you to know Alok, if you're reading this, that I just finished listening to your poem and the only sound I've heard as I lie back on my chair for the last few minutes is my fan and even that has been a dull irrelevant whir because your words are so loud. You did that. You're the reason why I feel this special emotion that is above any sort of name, but you know the one. I am forever grateful. You are art.
that's beautiful😊
VERY "deep"
N. Fer. a comment that is beautiful too and describes how heart-stopping Alok's poem is.
Probably wouldn't let him babysit your kids though.
@@casualrenegade8442 shh don't tell the truth.
“Unless we liberate both perpetrators AND victims of violence, we’re stuck in the same system”
such a misunderstood, poignant truth.
Alok truly blows me away. What a wonderful, powerful human they are.
Never heard that Truth before? ...Wow.
@@peterjanssen5901 Sure I have. I was pointing out how succinctly and powerfully Alok articulated this truth. However, this is not obvious to many- which is why we are continuing in the circumstances that we are. If you shame people for learning and moving forward, they will stay in the dark. Do better.
People don't want to change, grow and move forward. They want to jog in place and see slogans & platitudes speed by giving the illusion of progress. Most people experience truth as a burden, that can't be molly coddles like their beloved exhibitionist suffering.
And I would never shame people, Oh dear no, I like people to grow....like tumors, twist themselves into knots like sickly trees. I love grotesques.
I always like to "Do badder" that's my motto. ;)
@@peterjanssen5901 yikes.
That poem made me feel so many things...
one of the most powerful and insightful poetic monologues on the human condition that i've ever heard -
truly a super evolved spirit of higher consciousness on planet earth today
I LOVE THIS FUCKING CHANEL SO MUCH
This was so wonderfully beautiful, the kind of video where you can't quote it because every word hit you so hard.
this individual touched my soul
Oh Lord lol
Lol 😂
Show me where on the doll
He goes outside looking like someone chewed up and then vomited out a clown car but, can't figure out why people look at him funny. Pathetic.
Lmao 😂
Wow, so close to tears by this one. What a magical poem. This whole interview was powerful.
That was incredibly beautiful yet heartbreakingly real. Your poem brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing, Alok.
I'm just about to start my menswear graduation collection based on transgender people and society norms. This made me extremely emotional. What a beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your story, I love your poetry and activism.
Alok is gorgeous and that smile is just so radiant and infectious. Love him. Delightful. It breaks my heart, the amount of people who consider suicide an answer. It really hurts me when I hear these stories - it feels like choking and nausea and such heartbreak. Then the tears come.
This person is excellent to see! If I saw someone walking down the street like this, it would make me so happy...and instantly make my outfit look dull! I really love what he was explaining about the "male terrorist" image. Break it down!! This person is BRILLIANT.
So happy to hear someone say they are not woman or man, but something other. It is so silly to try and limit oneself to just two genders and try to compensate for whatever one feels is "missing". Since there are at least six biological sexes (XX, XY, XXX, XXY, XYY and the very rare XXXY) on earth why should there only be two genders?
y tho
???????
WHY? who cares if we are all on a spectrum. it's pure nonsense to think there are no poles or overlap.
This is so intensely beautiful, his poetry made me need to hug myself. I vow to stand up to harassment and live more kindly.
this is so beautiful. the poem, his story, everything. (also i live for their outfit)
"I was not born in the wrong body, I was born in the wrong world' This speaks so much truth. We can learn a lot from her.
Fatima Hashi them*
That Poem was so beautiful, So powerful, so magical, it really touched me. Truly a gifted human being.
Once again, thank you Stylelikeu for providing a platform for issues like these to be shared with the world. You provoke thought and remind me constantly to look outside of myself and hear someone else's reality. I am constantly reminded when watching your videos that I am not the only person going through a personal struggle in a toxic environment. Alok, you are so courageous and I admire your strength in your journey. This is, what's underneath.
why would you give this thing a platform after what he said about little girls ?..
OMG, yes. Finally somebody said it... women do patriarchy as well. I have been struggling to explain this to my female! friends for the longest time! I am not saying we should all go full sisterhood on each other, but sometimes I wish other women in my life would think about their actions and what they perpetuate.
Also, big fan of the channel and the work!! woop woop :)
so a woman can't "do patriarchy".. like if she completely wants to be subordinate to a male she can't because it's gender binary conforming?
Omar Ibrahim no, they can do that. i/we might not like it, but they can do that.
if i remember this video correctly, i think i was refering to the patterns that we pick up from society (speech, behaviour etc.) and just repeat, without thinking about it. but some of these patterns are a bit... problematic. i think that's what i was on about, but it's been a year, i don't really remember what my thought process was.
ladydevlish Everyone (unfortunately) are by-products of the patriarchy, it is only determined by how much you let it influence your life. As a cisgender woman, from a very young age it was drilled into me that strangers (especially men) were predatory and it was *my* responsibility to protect myself from being assaulted or attacked. We are taught to fear the Ed Kempers in the world - but not to look at the people within our lives who are statistically more likely to sexually assault or murder us. We are taught - be afraid of the boogey man dressed up in high heels, because he is the predator, that his only purpose in the bathroom is to prey on me and children... the same rhetoric taught when segregation started to end - people of all races sharing the same space, surely black people would hurt us?! Meanwhile, everyone in a public bathroom is trying to take a private shit waiting for their stall's companion to leave so you can relax and let go...
It isn't right, but for many people they don't investigate things. They aren't curious enough to even listen to someone else to even respect their autonomy or personal expression. Women don't benefit from patriarchy but unknowingly live in the comfort of it. Most men don't benefit from patriarchy - not really, to live holding up the guise of masculinity is painful and those who do benefit, they are usually oppressing their friends, family, society and themselves. Imagine having to constantly feel the need to reaffirm your masculinity to complete strangers by having a disgusting disregard to others because of their race or style or expression!?
I dunno, I just wonder why people have to be so mean. Isn't is nice to be nice? Didn't these people watch Mr. Rogers and know that people loved them for them, that we are all neighbours?
Anyways, I certainly hope you have a good day and maybe one day your friends will understand.
(EDIT: sorry, didn't realize the OP comment was 2 years old - in context, Alok was discussing an incident when an older woman harassed them for attending the women's bathroom and related that women can be perpetrators of the patriarchy.)
That was absolutely Incredible! From the minute this started I was captivated and emersed with those words. The poem at the end gave me such chills and perspective. Seriously an inspiring person!!
That poem was extraordinary.
Alok, stay as marvelous as you are. We need more people like you to make the world a better place.
Just keep him away from children
@@PepsiMagt Would you care to explain why, or is this completely random?
@@charliegreen1737 Alok is a raging peterfile
Literally sitting here in tears over how God created such a beautiful soul. You are literally art. So naturally radical. My heart is so warm.
Wow, these are some really powerful words. "The world I'm fighting for is where we stop making assumptions around everything; where we allow people to self-narrate their bodies."
I would be dead without my daily binge watch of these style like u videos! I am insecure yet find great security and love in these understanding beings...I cannot thank everyone at stylelikeu enough for changing my life and providing me the confidence to embrace my gender and sexuality in authenticity! THANKYOU Alok, THANKYOU Shannon Clagett, THANKYOU Io Tillet Wright, THANKYOU Kathy Cooper and generally thankyou to the inspirational mother and daughter behind these cameras!!! :p :D
Hit me like a ton of bricks, ur poem was the energy surged to my lightbulb....thank you
This world is better for having people like Alok in it. Thank you SO much for this video. :)
OMG THAT POEM!!!! wow. that was just so beautiful.
This resonates with me in so many ways. I understand Alok's emotion, the way the words flew out like wind blows paper on a bench on a windy day. That was beautiful. The words "I wasn't born into the wrong body; I was born in the wrong world" is so beyond true I can't put it into words. Amazing.
I've never heard a poem that ever moved me more. So beautiful x
that poem brought me to tears . you need to be published please i need a book of you in my room
This is beautiful. Thank you for this wonderful series. So empowering.
"People would come up to me and say why do all Indian people smell bad? Why are you all, like, dirty? ...I kept on washing my hands but this brown wouldn't come off of me. I grew up feeling ugly because I was brown. I thought brown people could never be desirable, could never have sex. I thought we were all ugly and we all needed to be white to be beautiful." I guess we were supposed to focus on the gender aspect of this, but, as a brown woman in North America, I really identified with these words. I've been told all those things, I've felt all those things, and NOBODY in my experience has ever talked about it like it was a problem before. It is a comfort to know I'm not the only one to acknowledge how fucked up it was.
This installment was particularly incredible. I feel like I have learned so much in 14 minutes.
That poem was unbelievably powerful. I will definitely have to hunt down more of Alok's work now... they're an amazing poet.
Is this the same predator that claims girls are kinky and not pure when they get abused?
Just came after Blaire’s video
@@legoshirocha its crazy how many people didn't know that he was a predator till Blaire brings it up.
Yes
Yes.
What?
Alok, this is so beautiful. Thank you for continuing to share such beautiful stories, messages, and visions to the world. Something I admire the most about you is your ability to speak about some of the most terrifying, violent, unacceptable systemic ideas, structures, and behaviors with a lot of humility, love, and even forgiveness. I think you embody a gentleness that many others often cannot express because the daily pain and oppression hurts so much. You have taught me to see the gray area more and not fear it, even from a urgent justice-oriented lens. I hope there is a lot of abundant love in your life.
Wow that was deep! The spoken words left me breathless. My mom gave me a necklace that read," In this world but not of it"! We have to continue to love ourselves as much as we can and surrounded by those whose rep for us. Peace
The tie they made between misogyny and transmisogyny was flawless! Intersectionality solves so much.
This is the most beautiful person I have ever seen! Alok is such an amazing poet and is soooo inspiring!!!!
I have a written out version of this poem that I have re-read so many times and I have listened to Alok speak it over and over and I just can't express how beautifully Alok managed to write this poem. Every time I read it a new part of it comes alive that I hadn't noticed the times before and that is truly amazing. If you thought it was good the first time please keep reading it like wow!
This is powerful!! Thank you Alok, for sharing your experience, your politics and your beautiful poem. Much love to you!
No words can describe how amazing his story and message is. I stumbled upon this channel by accident. I honestly don't know how I could've have missed something like this! You guys are really amazing!!
This was so brilliant! So eloquently spoken and pure from the soul. I feel like I had a hundred epiphanies in less than 15 minutes.
Great person. I'm sure it's wonderful to have Alok as a friend.
It looks exhausting.
@@MustyUnderboob Lol exactly my thoughts too, as a gay man, myself
Lol this didn’t age well ....
Not if you have children
Wow thank you for this!!
That was one of the most moving thing I have seen in a long time, thank you.
I have this on repeat. There's so much love in this interview.
Woowwww this actually made me reconsider getting laser hair removal for my facial hair as a trans feminine non binary person, they made me realize that indeed I have no problem with how my body is, but how society perceives it and categorizes it as something inherently male, and that why I want to transition is to pass socially and feel more safe within this cisheteronormative society.
get it removed
Do what you would feel most yourself afterwards. You deserve to be cohesive within yourself. Are you ok?
I'm just like, damn. This was incredible
I keep coming back to this video over and over again. I learn so much by Alok's words and their poetry breaks my heart in all the right ways
I have no words to explain how I feel... ur poem touched my heart.. we need more people like you in this cruel world full of hypocrites. Hats off to you and your attitude towards life. 😊
"How many souls does it take for a cemetery to call itself a nation."
Such truth...
P.S and, I am LIVING for the neon green you painted your toe nails in.
Alok is truly one of a kind. How incredibly fortunate we are to be here watching him live so boldly. .
amazing! thank you
This opened my eyes.
Thanks!
I Love this channel, and that was the BEST. Thank you so much.
i need this human being in my life. what a beautiful soul
I cherish this video and this person and this channel and I want to be more like them. This is what beauty, purity, spirituality, love, and faith look like. This video has touched me. Thank you.
“Art is the space we go when language fails us.” I absolutely love that quote. This video is spectacular. Thank you all for what you do. You help so many ❤
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this channel.
same :')
This was so beautiful and inspiring, thank you.
Didn't know I could have a favorite, I've loved hearing the stories of all the participants in What's Underneath, but I think this is it.
I love you. I really needed this today.
Wow, I completely, wholeheartedly changed my perspective. Thanks!
+Conditional Lover about what?
I'm so glad I watched you Alok. So much teaching coming from you. Styleyoulike you must continue offering this platform. We need it.
Wow! Extraordinary. Thanks so much. Greetings from Winnipeg, Canada.
That was mesmerizing. Very refreshing channel.
their poem was absolutely incredible. these videos have inspired me so much as well as taught me about people I've yet to encounter. thank you!
This was a phenomenal interview. I wish there were even more dialogue with them.
I love how he is accepting his body hair AND wearing a bra both at the same time. He is being a woman with body hair, and a man wearing a bra. It's wonderfull
@sonoki82 Exactly, there is nothing wrong with that however don't then call yourself a woman or use female only spaces. He can present as a male and therefore negates the hardships associated with being a woman, for instance in certain parts of the world they know you're female when they cut off your clit, or refuse you education or the ability to choose your own husband or be able to drive...Being a woman isn't just wearing a ton of make, dresses and skirts, it's a caricature of what a woman and if that is the case then I'm not a woman.
I love his poem so much. I saw the video first when it came out in 2015 and I just couldn't forget his wonderful poem. I keep coming back and I watch the video over and over again :)
That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard I've been so numb .
This was chilling. Thank you.
when i first saw alok i was like "holy shit goals", your style is amazing and that poem had me in tears... i have no words
that was so beautiful, the poem, amazing!
This was very powerful i cried if only people would think this way and be more accepting to each other. thank you for this
That was amazing.
That poem shook me to my core. Thank you for being you and for sharing your story!
I love this video so much. Our needs and wants are so simple yet elusive so we fill the void with unsatisfying clutter.
thank you for sharing something that is so important yet is still dangerous to share. thank you for standing up for all of us! You're so breathtaking and so beautiful.
Thank you for bringing more beauty to a world which sometimes denies to see it
Great video!
his spirit GLOWS SO BRIGHTLY.... :)
Incredible!! Thank you all.
Thank you for sharing. This was beautiful in every way
The poem makes me feel a myriad of feelings…thank you for being so open.
this was so beautiful!!!