How on earth Ronnie Barker can manage to do these sketches with not so much as a smile on his face is pure genius. He is arguably one of the best comedians that ever lived.
Possibly the best comedy programme ever put on tv - no swearing and brilliant writing. My father was often mistaken for Ronnie Barker and was asked for his autograph on several occasions - one fan was so persistent that my father ended up signing the beer mat on which his pint had been sitting and handed it over. Thank heavens it was years ago before mobile phones! When Dad died, we put his Ronnie Barker-style glasses on the coffin and our parting words were "And it's goodbye from us and it's goodbye from him!"
@@christopher-ke9nj Honourable maybe, but i just shared a another video of two Ronnies and stated that the only other comedic duo they were on par with is Laurel and Hardy, in my opinion Two Ronnies and Laurel and Hardy are miles ahead of Morecambe and Wise and Cannon and Ball
Ah, the beauty of CZcams is that the legacy of these legends live on, to be enjoyed by generations not even born when The Two Ronnies was broadcasted. Many thanks for the upload 😊
Not me. I realized it could be taken for bird or turd, and figured it was bird so the turd-leaning people would get a surprise, and because there would be more turd-leaning people because naturally it would have been funnier to associate Richard the Third with a turd.
My father was a soldier and we moved about alot I spent time in S.A and my nana lived in Elizabeth West lots of £10.00 POMS and I really did understand the slang. Lots of good musicians and Singers came out from England and settled in Elizabeth ....
There's a Dave Allen monologue where he tells us how the Irish turn the strong 'th' sound into a straight 't' sound, almost a 'd'. So Dave tells us that when the Irish pronounce 'these, that, this and those', it becomes: 'dese, dat, dis, & dose'. Then Dave tells us: "And it's even worse when they try and pronounce Richard the Third." Which is the way I twigged to what Richard the Third Cockney rhyming slang stands for.
Well, here I am again leaving a second comment on this timeless masterpiece. My grandfather was a cockney born in the early 1920’s and when I was growing up, I remember him using a lot of Cockney rhyming slang in his normal conversation. Rewatching this just makes me die laughing and helps me remember happy times with my grandad. Ronnie Barker, I think, will always be remembered for being one of the truly great comedians of all time. I bet the whole team had a hoot making this one! Keep the old time alive, people. They were better times and people don’t take offence as they seem to today. The fun in life was always enjoyed and I for one, will continue to try and make light of dull situations.
What's great about a lot of their jokes was that the audience had to put a little work in themselves. Especially in a joke like this. When you suddenly get, there's the thrill of suddenly being on the same page as the comedian.
I remember seeing this sketch on the Telly when it first came out. So nice to see it again and take a trip down memory lane, although trying to work out Ronnie's version of cockney rhyming slang was a pain in the Gregory. He's been brown bread now for 15 years, but remains sadly knickers and twist.
Genius! Literally laugh out loud funny. There is more than one level of humour going on here. On the one hand he’s very cleverly using Cockney rhyming slang correctly but on the other hand he’s parodying the type of vicar who’s trying to connect with his audience using their language but he makes hilarious mistakes that only the audience recognises. Ronnie Barker really was something special.
I remember watching this when I was about six or seven. The Small Brown Richard the Third had me in stitches, to the point where I had to stick my fingers in my ears and close my eyes. The Two Ronnies and Morecambe & Wise were the best things about the 70s.
Morcombe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. The last in a line of comic duo's that go back to Laurel and Hardy (we'll skip Little and Large)
It remains to our nations eternal shame that this comedy legend was never awarded a knighthood! I miss him so much! I still use “Small brown Richard the third” to this day! We shall not see the likes of his towering talent again! A two Ronnie’s Xmas special! Ah, memories!
This is a pure comedy genius it’s in every molecule of his being it’s his entire essence. These people should be cherished as they bring so many smiles and laughter to the world
Deborah Hallam Nowadays it's just "Let me tell you a long and rambling story about being middle aged and having kids and hope that it's funny along the way." Comedy these days is so inoffensive that it makes me sick.
Ratel.H Badger Frankie Boyle is Fantastic at stand up, but this is comedy acting, different set of skills required to achieve the exceptional brilliance of Ronnie B.
POPULAR modern comics, there's probably thousands of comics out there just as good as the Two Ronnies but they're not getting any of the limelight. And it doesn't help that people these days don't like having to use their brains a little to understand the comedy.
If only the beeb could come up with the comedic genius of yesterday when we all could just laugh our heads off and not worry about who was upset, miss those shows. Two Ronnies, Morcamb and Wise, Dave Allen etc. when comedy was king.
Absolute Genius of writing, probably wrote by himself, under his pseudonym Gerald Wiley. A truly gifted comedian, and acting chameleon. When comedy meant comedy.
Just came across a Spike Milligan war story where he calls a toilet attendant....a Richard The III Strangler...can't believe I found two versions of the same joke on the same night.
A classic piece of mis-direction by Ronnie B. He really was a consumate wordsmith. I liked his various "speeches on behalf of a worthy organisation" (eg "The Loyal Society for the Pispronunciation of Worms") sketches in the vaarious Two Ronnies shows. His two skills were first of all to write the sketches in the first place (often credited as pseudonym Gerald Wiley) and then to be able to perform them without even the slightest hint of a smirk when *he* was the one who knew what he was about to say - apart from pausing for audience reaction where necessary he kept a perfectly straight face.
Always perfectly written and performed. They were geniuses these two. A particular favourite of my much missed father. The wordplay sketches were the best and the musical numbers hilarious.
Comic genius. And I'm an American! ( okay my dad was English, so I get it). Grew up on this and Benny Hill in the states, who you should be proud of, you guys, not ashamed.
I love the two Ronnie's, I'm always amazed they could do it with the most serious look on their faces, true artists of their craft😁 And so it's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him, GOODNIGHT😆
Seeing The Two Ronnies, reminds me that here in Australia nearly 2022, Anglo Australians of a certain age and demographic, still use a significant amount of Cockney derived 'rhyming slang'.
I wonder if the septic tanks use it? You'd have to go a long way down the frog n toad, though you could give a ting a ling on the dog n bone. It's a long way on yer plates of meat, specially on yer Pat Malone. Hoo roo china.
@@greasylimpet3323 down the road....................................on your feet alone. Goodbye Mate. _At least some was right - from a dinkee die Aussie of anglo descent]
@@letsseeif same here. My dad always said the frog n toad, and if I did anything a bit clumsy he told me to get me plates of meat out of the way. I got threatened with the razor strop a few times too, but l luckily I never got a clout with it!
I had lived in western London for many years, and after college I got a job where some good chums kept talking in rhyming slang. Most of it I could work out... but was befuddled when they spoke of 'king and barns". Carns? starns? parns? Nothing made sense... until I learned that King and Barnes was their favourite beer.
Best of British comedy.. witty and clever without being vulgar... ‘tis a pity half the English speaking world would not understand it... something about knowing how to speak English but not really understanding it...
I understood the whole thing. We have a small amount of rhyming slang over here too. It was brought back to Ireland by returning emigrants years ago. I love the two Ronnies. They're a barrel of "wild Giraffes". I had an English friend over here and he told me that Stella Artois became Stella, then Nelson Mandela, then just "Nelson". So a pint of Nelson is a pint of Stella Artois. P.S. You'd wanna have a grapes, there's a pen off your plates. (grapes, grapes of wrath, bath, pen, pen and ink, stink, plates, plates of meat, feet)
As a Yank, I didn't follow all of this, but I got enough to get some good laughs. I am, I expect, one of the few in the US who are familiar with The Two Ronnies, and I enjoyed watching the show when it was on PBS.
In order of what he said but not repeating the same slang he said before: He had no (Trouble and Strife) *wife* She ran of with a (tea leaf) *thief* He now lived with his eldest (bricks and mortar) *daughter* And being short of (bees and honey) *money* Unable to pay (Burton on trent) *rent* He was tempted to forth into the (Bristol City) *titty?* And see what he could (half inch) *pinch* Gone for a (ball of chalk) *walk* Buy some tobacoo for my (cherry ripe) *pipe* He would put on his (almond rocks) *socks* And his (dicky dirt) *shirt* And his (round the houses) *trousers* He set if down the (frog and toad) *road* His (how d'ya Dos) *shoes* was full of holes And his coat was (Westminster Abbey) *shabby* He also somewhat unclean to purchase some (Cape of Good Hope) *soap* His (bushel and peck) *neck* was extremely (two thirty) *dirty* To avoid the (pen and ink) *stink* His (north and south) *mouth* His (mince pies) *eyes* And he had a big red (I suppose) *nose* He is a (saucepan lid) *kid* 🐐 A loaf of (uncle fred) *bread* and a (stand at ease) *cheese* I need a new pair of (early doors) *draws* I'm in continual (george raft) *draft* He made his way to the (rubber bub) *pub* for a (Tumble Down the Sink) *drink* He became very (elephant trunk) *drunk* and (Mozart) *p**sed* When the landlord call (bird lime) *time* The man came back to his (cat and mouse) *house* Humming at (stewed prune) *tune* It came to (khyber pass) *arse* He saw a small brown (Richard The Third) *bird* but joke is people thinks its *turd* Laying there at his (plates of meat) *feet* And his rich (four by two) *jew* Put his hand into his (sky rocket) *pocket* and took out a (Lady Godiva) *fiver* For your (froth and bubble) *trouble* His daughter was sitting by (Jeremiah) *fire* on her favourite (Lionel Blair) *chair* I have more than enough to cover my (bottle and glass) *arse*
I would pay good bees and honey to have as good a bubble bath as I got from this sketch, again. You're also doing pretty good to get this sketch if you are a septic tank 😉.
My grandmother was an East Londoner, so my Dad used to use the odd rhyming slang expression. I’m in Canada! I would ask him what he meant by, “where’s my titfer ?” Tit for tat, my hat.
I was born in east end ( aka bethnal green) and since I was tought rhyming slang as a boy, I understand every single word and the way Ronnie barker used it, it makes laugh out loud from my North and south every single time, # cockney rhyming slang, # bethnal green, # cockney boy, # st Bernards forever.
This is such a funny sketch, Ronnie Barker was so talented. I remember as a small child, watching The Two Ronnies with my Dad. He would quietly laugh at the sketches. This has reminded me how funny and talented Ronnie Barker was, but it has also taken me back to memories of my lovely Dad. Oh, I have a confession to make…I got the Richard III rhyming slang wrong too😉.
I'm 51 & was raised in the Appalachians, where there is a considerable, although ancient, Scotch-Irish ancestry. And some English as well. There may possibly have been some residual Cockney influence among some of the descendants of the people who emigrated there. Point is, while I have never heard of Cockney rhyming slang before (although I've occasionally heard it on TV, but didn't know what it was, except "Englishmen talking amusing nonsense") I seem to have a faint, wispy childhood memory of some old folks, possibly grandparents or someone(s), talking to me a little like this to amuse me as a small child. I just can't seem to put my finger on it. But I bet it was something passed down through the centuries and kept alive to amuse children with.
How can a couple of hundred years be 'ancient'? Why do Americans have to pretend they belong to other countries? You don't. And you annoy real Irish, Scots etc by doing so.
DuckDuck, think I've heard what you're talking about but I'll come back to that. First have to ask if you're familiar with the Ronnies' Jehosaphat and Jones characters/songs? Since you left such smashing comments on the library sketch, and are from the Appalachians, I don't want to risk your missing them! Utterly brilliant and here on youtube. Folk/country/hippie sorts (I can't do them justice but you'll recognise the type the moment you see and hear them!) - the music surprisingly 'right' paired with their usual ingenious word-play. The Scots-Irish background in your part of the world is fascinating; the speech and music are such clear carry-overs. It's probably not likely that what you heard as a child originated from rhyming slang, as that mainly developed round the end of the 19th century and the App. ways go back much earlier (as you know!) Not many Cockneys emigrated - Essex was usually as far as we went! You never know, though. I've been fortunate in spending some time in your part of the world, it's beautiful and I really loved and admired the people. And yes, back in the early-to-mid '70's I definitely heard some older folk speaking to children in a quite mystical sort of word-play that (to me) sounded and felt incredibly, almost eerily, ancient and Gaelic. It was like travelling in time. Hearing spells but in a playful way. I think you're spot-on about it passing down from heaven only knows how long ago and am very grateful to you for reminding me of it! What I was privileged to hear may have been completely different, I don't know, but it still gives me chills (in a good way.) And the women who could 'talk away' boils, burns, etc - uncanny. All that other-worldly Celtic stuff that goes through time untouched. (Well, untouched til relatively recently, sadly.) Thanks for bringing back wonderful memories and giving my mind something to do during lockdown! Please don't think all of us from this side of the pond are as rude as CMOT. Everything you said made perfect sense. Hope you're doing well; stay safe.
@@pollymotley5041 Thank you for your in depth reply. From the way you described it, I think you did hear what I was talking about. I've read that, in the 60s, university "experts", I'm not sure what educational persuasion, linguists, English professors, cultural grand poo-bahs, or whatever they were, would go back in the hills to find "primitive people to be amazed at, and perhaps write a paper or two on", and they said that they were hearing (I believe it was) near Elizabethan English, as it hadn't been spoken in England for centuries. I listened to several Jehosaphat & Jones songs. Yes the word play was funny, but I cringe to think this was what American country music sounds like to British people, lol. I know it's a parody. You may be interested in reading the defunct "West Virginia Hillbilly" newspaper (a tongue in cheek name). The owner, editor, and chief cook and bottle washer, Jim Comstock (deceased many years 4, had the ear and attention of US Presidents, and of course governors, and countless others of the self-annointed intelligentsia, for decades. He was a bit like a modern Mark Twain. A gentleman, and a gentle and wise humorist. He related stories every week about the folks from the hills, and they loved the attention. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Comstock
@@CMOT101 not counting native American Indians, Americans all have their ancestral roots in other countries and it’s completely natural to want to trace your roots and origins. They are not pretending that they belong to your country,but you should recognise that many of them have some of your blood in their veins. So unblock yer drains.
Not sure which was first which second but I do remember a cartoon in a Punch magazine from I'd guess the early 70s. The vicar was in the pulpit saying: 'Today's lesson is from the Bermondsey Bible..... 'The Lord is my Spotted Leopard ........'
Yes, he did write this sketch. Got a book of everything he wrote - almost. Some of his work has sadly been lost (in writen form), and doesn't appear in it.
I've never even met real Cockneys but somehow I can understand their language. We have rhyming slang in Australia but it's more limited than in the UK.
I am grateful to CZcams for the opportunity to appreciate what real humour is all about. No politics, sarcasm, victims or crude and foul language. Ken Dodd hit the nail on the when he said today's humour is cruel. I was so lucky to live in those former times when the BBC was able to provide us with genuine entertainment.
@@marvinc9994 My fellow Earthbound Alien 👽, I have not heard of this "Anton Deck" of whom you speak, but "Ant and Dec" are a supposed comedy duo from the 'old country'; they are two of the most unfunny and unoriginal 'comedians' that mainly do work 'presenting' shows or giving running commentary - no doubt for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! - Who knows? In real life, however, they are a standing joke; one (if not both of them) has a drug/alcohol problem, the other needs psychotherapy IMO. The UK are welcome to keep them!!
@@maxlove4906 "for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! " So, these 'Ant and Dec' are like what Earth People usually call 'The Government' ? I begin to understand ! What a strange place this planet is.................................
So young lad that both these great dog trainers are loaf of bread. Barker surely had an apple a day with a flock of birds, and every egg yolk he told would always get a striped scarf out of me. Corbett may have been a little on the witch's wart side, but in the world of long division, they were both great church steeple. I take my welcome mat off to you both.
+A Pinch Of Weird I'll translate for any non Brits. So sad that both these great entertainers are dead. Barker surely had a way with words, and every joke he told would alwas get a laugh ( larf ) out of me. Corbett may have been a little on the short side, but in the world of television they were both great people. I take my hat off to you both.
One of the best 5 minute breaks that I have ever had. The beauty of this piece, is that even if you know very little cockney rhyming slang, the usage in this sermon is such that even a novice can appreciate the humour and understand most of the Richard III's, implied by the rhymes.
How on earth Ronnie Barker can manage to do these sketches with not so much as a smile on his face is pure genius. He is arguably one of the best comedians that ever lived.
The Best, so wonderful that he gave so much happiness and continues to do so, a wonderful legacy, thank GOD for humour, 😇relevant to this sketch, 😉
I disagree - there is no argument about it
Especially as Fletcher in Porridge .
It's amazing in my opinion 🙂
Harry Grout wing ?
Possibly the best comedy programme ever put on tv - no swearing and brilliant writing. My father was often mistaken for Ronnie Barker and was asked for his autograph on several occasions - one fan was so persistent that my father ended up signing the beer mat on which his pint had been sitting and handed it over. Thank heavens it was years ago before mobile phones! When Dad died, we put his Ronnie Barker-style glasses on the coffin and our parting words were "And it's goodbye from us and it's goodbye from him!"
Fair enough, honorable mention Morcame and Wise, Ryan and Ronnie, Cannon and Ball, I'll dark comedy ye
@@christopher-ke9nj Don't forget Dave Allen, he was great too.
@@christopher-ke9nj Honourable maybe, but i just shared a another video of two Ronnies and stated that the only other comedic duo they were on par with is Laurel and Hardy, in my opinion Two Ronnies and Laurel and Hardy are miles ahead of Morecambe and Wise and Cannon and Ball
That's a lovely tribute, I'm sure he would have enjoyed it
Ah, the beauty of CZcams is that the legacy of these legends live on, to be enjoyed by generations not even born when The Two Ronnies was broadcasted. Many thanks for the upload 😊
Safely away from woke censers!
Even by Ronnie B's standards, that was bloody BRILLIANT (and I bet the 'Richard the Third' joke caught everyone out) !
Not me. I realized it could be taken for bird or turd, and figured it was bird so the turd-leaning people would get a surprise, and because there would be more turd-leaning people because naturally it would have been funnier to associate Richard the Third with a turd.
@@Andulamb
"funnier to associate Richard the Third with a turd."
And historically accurate, too ;-)
Not at all, one of the more obvious ones really
@@jamesconnolly5512
"more obvious"
Only when you get to the _end_ of the joke - given the well-known fact that turds don't have wings!
Not ME, I'm an elderly cockney woman born and bred.🤣🇬🇧
I'm an Aussie and I understand everything he said. Shows where a lot of Aussie slang comes from. Great video.
Goodness anybody would think Britain were involved in Australia’s history hahah don’t tell the Commonwealth haters haha
A lot of Aussies were Cockneys. The Australian and Cockney accent have much in common. Must go to Australia some day.
We would say Reg Grundys instead of early doors.
Do you know my niece Sue, she lives in Oz too?
My father was a soldier and we moved about alot I spent time in S.A and my nana lived in Elizabeth West lots of £10.00 POMS and I really did understand the slang. Lots of good musicians and Singers came out from England and settled in Elizabeth ....
Ronnie Barker was a phenomenal comedian and actor. Absolutely stupendous
Plus he is salubrious...google it
@@swimasfastasyoucan Indeed he is
Salubrious...And you’re point is?
You don't hear the same said of Ronnie Corbett very often though
@@96BxelA laughter is a great medicine, his brand of humour is so uplifting
"And the Richard the third flew back to its nest" Absolute genius mis-direction. 👏👏👏👏👏
Please explain
@@vp5 Normally Richard the 3rd means a turd, but in this sketch Ronnie uses mis-direction as it means Bird
There's a Dave Allen monologue where he tells us how the Irish turn the strong 'th' sound into a straight 't' sound, almost a 'd'. So Dave tells us that when the Irish pronounce 'these, that, this and those', it becomes: 'dese, dat, dis, & dose'. Then Dave tells us: "And it's even worse when they try and pronounce Richard the Third." Which is the way I twigged to what Richard the Third Cockney rhyming slang stands for.
@@forestsoceansmusic 😄😄😄😉
I know!! That was my favourite line too!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Well, here I am again leaving a second comment on this timeless masterpiece. My grandfather was a cockney born in the early 1920’s and when I was growing up, I remember him using a lot of Cockney rhyming slang in his normal conversation. Rewatching this just makes me die laughing and helps me remember happy times with my grandad. Ronnie Barker, I think, will always be remembered for being one of the truly great comedians of all time. I bet the whole team had a hoot making this one! Keep the old time alive, people. They were better times and people don’t take offence as they seem to today. The fun in life was always enjoyed and I for one, will continue to try and make light of dull situations.
SPOT ON !
Especially as Fletcher in Porridge .
Yes, check out the Jewish insurance and Arab in a shop sketch
What's great about a lot of their jokes was that the audience had to put a little work in themselves. Especially in a joke like this. When you suddenly get, there's the thrill of suddenly being on the same page as the comedian.
I remember seeing this sketch on the Telly when it first came out. So nice to see it again and take a trip down memory lane, although trying to work out Ronnie's version of cockney rhyming slang was a pain in the Gregory. He's been brown bread now for 15 years, but remains sadly knickers and twist.
Genius! Literally laugh out loud funny. There is more than one level of humour going on here. On the one hand he’s very cleverly using Cockney rhyming slang correctly but on the other hand he’s parodying the type of vicar who’s trying to connect with his audience using their language but he makes hilarious mistakes that only the audience recognises. Ronnie Barker really was something special.
I remember watching this when I was about six or seven. The Small Brown Richard the Third had me in stitches, to the point where I had to stick my fingers in my ears and close my eyes. The Two Ronnies and Morecambe & Wise were the best things about the 70s.
Don't forget Dave Allen
@@t3chnod3lic Dave Allen was my favourite 💙
@@t3chnod3lic plus Dick Emery and Benny Hill, and good ol' Frank Spencer of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em!! The 70's were a very special time, indeed.
The two Ronnies were and will always be unrivalled and never equalled. Never again will there be a duo who are so talented.
One of the two was rather more talented in the art of comedic delivery than the other.
Morcombe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. The last in a line of comic duo's that go back to Laurel and Hardy (we'll skip Little and Large)
@@clickrick Have to totally disagree with you there.
@@clickrick No, they both amazing
Hear , Hear .
Absolutely funny sketch from the late, great Ronnie Barker.
Barker and Corbett always guaranteed to make you laugh all the time.
Barker's passing was a great loss to comedy. What a brilliant comic.
Especially in porridge !
How these guys could remember their lines week after week is beyond me.Superlative talents.both of them,especially Ronnie Barker.
It remains to our nations eternal shame that this comedy legend was never awarded a knighthood! I miss him so much! I still use “Small brown Richard the third” to this day! We shall not see the likes of his towering talent again! A two Ronnie’s Xmas special! Ah, memories!
Yeah, strange that, when you consider some of people that get knighted. Wonder why.
How many people picked up that he actually meant "bird" instead of the other thing. I did, after a little while.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Never again will we see such talent
One of the advantages of old age - we have enjoyed things that would not be allowed today.
One of the few great masters of comedy. His dedication, genius and enjoyment must have been a great reward for him.
This is a pure comedy genius it’s in every molecule of his being it’s his entire essence. These people should be cherished as they bring so many smiles and laughter to the world
Modern comics have a long, long, long way to go until they achieve this genius of word play and timing.
Deborah Hallam Nowadays it's just "Let me tell you a long and rambling story about being middle aged and having kids and hope that it's funny along the way." Comedy these days is so inoffensive that it makes me sick.
LemonZeppelin clearly you haven't seen any Frankie Boyle
Ratel.H Badger Frankie Boyle is Fantastic at stand up, but this is comedy acting, different set of skills required to achieve the exceptional brilliance of Ronnie B.
POPULAR modern comics, there's probably thousands of comics out there just as good as the Two Ronnies but they're not getting any of the limelight. And it doesn't help that people these days don't like having to use their brains a little to understand the comedy.
st cain and abel
This reminds me of my grandad and his sense of humour. Always using language for fun. What a brilliant sketch. 'a stewed prune'- genius.
If only the beeb could come up with the comedic genius of yesterday when we all could just laugh our heads off and not worry about who was upset, miss those shows. Two Ronnies, Morcamb and Wise, Dave Allen etc. when comedy was king.
His linguistic and comedic genius never ceases to amaze me.
I live in the east end of London since the end of the 60s and it is sad that you don't hear meany people speaking Cockley anymore .
They played this at ronnies funeral, I led me here absolute legend RIP
Absolute Genius of writing, probably wrote by himself, under his pseudonym Gerald Wiley. A truly gifted comedian, and acting chameleon. When comedy meant comedy.
The small brown Richard The Third gag is brilliant, especially the audience reaction when they realise it means something else.
Just came across a Spike Milligan war story where he calls a toilet attendant....a Richard The III Strangler...can't believe I found two versions of the same joke on the same night.
A classic piece of mis-direction by Ronnie B. He really was a consumate wordsmith. I liked his various "speeches on behalf of a worthy organisation" (eg "The Loyal Society for the Pispronunciation of Worms") sketches in the vaarious Two Ronnies shows. His two skills were first of all to write the sketches in the first place (often credited as pseudonym Gerald Wiley) and then to be able to perform them without even the slightest hint of a smirk when *he* was the one who knew what he was about to say - apart from pausing for audience reaction where necessary he kept a perfectly straight face.
Always perfectly written and performed. They were geniuses these two. A particular favourite of my much missed father. The wordplay sketches were the best and the musical numbers hilarious.
Yep - I remember watching with my Dad back as a kid in the 70s and Dad would be in stitches. Happy memories 😊
Comic genius. And I'm an American! ( okay my dad was English, so I get it). Grew up on this and Benny Hill in the states, who you should be proud of, you guys, not ashamed.
What a man!!! The one and only - true professional.
Remember watching that as a kid when it came out and it still leaves me in tears of laughter everytime I see it 😂
Inoffensive, & without tribulation....Barker's genius only gets better with age !!
I too found this brilliant. My father taught me a lot of rhyming Cockney slang. Quite a brilliant concept. Thanks for video
I love the two Ronnie's, I'm always amazed they could do it with the most serious look on their faces, true artists of their craft😁
And so it's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him, GOODNIGHT😆
Now play it again and picture a room full of confused-looking Post-Millennials watching this - makes it funnier still!
😆😆
Classic!...and pure genius.
Comedy from my teen years.👍👍
Seeing The Two Ronnies, reminds me that here in Australia nearly 2022, Anglo Australians of a certain age and demographic, still use a significant amount of Cockney derived 'rhyming slang'.
I wonder if the septic tanks use it?
You'd have to go a long way down the frog n toad, though you could give a ting a ling on the dog n bone. It's a long way on yer plates of meat, specially on yer Pat Malone.
Hoo roo china.
@@greasylimpet3323 down the road....................................on your feet alone. Goodbye Mate. _At least some was right - from a dinkee die Aussie of anglo descent]
@@letsseeif same here. My dad always said the frog n toad, and if I did anything a bit clumsy he told me to get me plates of meat out of the way. I got threatened with the razor strop a few times too, but l luckily I never got a clout with it!
The septic tanks were the Yanks!
@@greasylimpet3323 yesh. Australians also call the Americans, 'yanks' hence 'septic tanks'. Happy 2022
This is so bloody brilliant. I though I was going to gypsy kiss my pants!!
This is genius everytime I have a good drink I always watch this never gets old funny as hell wish comedy was this good nowadays.
The audio of this was played at my uncle's funeral. Lightened the mood somewhat
Brilliant, absolutly brilliant, I will never be tired of his humour
I had lived in western London for many years, and after college I got a job where some good chums kept talking in rhyming slang. Most of it I could work out... but was befuddled when they spoke of 'king and barns". Carns? starns? parns? Nothing made sense... until I learned that King and Barnes was their favourite beer.
I’ve never seen this before. Pure comedy gold. There used to be a pub in Leeds called the Brahms and Liszt. I kept waiting for him say that.
Best of British comedy.. witty and clever without being vulgar... ‘tis a pity half the English speaking world would not understand it... something about knowing how to speak English but not really understanding it...
I understood the whole thing. We have a small amount of rhyming slang over here too. It was brought back to Ireland by returning emigrants years ago. I love the two Ronnies. They're a barrel of "wild Giraffes". I had an English friend over here and he told me that Stella Artois became Stella, then Nelson Mandela, then just "Nelson". So a pint of Nelson is a pint of Stella Artois. P.S. You'd wanna have a grapes, there's a pen off your plates. (grapes, grapes of wrath, bath, pen, pen and ink, stink, plates, plates of meat, feet)
Stella Artois, according to two of my Kiwi sons who worked bars in England, is also know as "Wife Beater".
The writing and delivery are amazing
I watched some of their shows live
And some replays of course.
But I'd not seen this one before
Pure class!!!!.....Just brilliant!
As a Yank, I didn't follow all of this, but I got enough to get some good laughs. I am, I expect, one of the few in the US who are familiar with The Two Ronnies, and I enjoyed watching the show when it was on PBS.
sisgaia present
So you're a ''septic tank'' then?
In order of what he said but not repeating the same slang he said before:
He had no (Trouble and Strife) *wife*
She ran of with a (tea leaf) *thief*
He now lived with his eldest (bricks and mortar) *daughter*
And being short of (bees and honey) *money*
Unable to pay (Burton on trent) *rent*
He was tempted to forth into the (Bristol City) *titty?*
And see what he could (half inch) *pinch*
Gone for a (ball of chalk) *walk*
Buy some tobacoo for my (cherry ripe) *pipe*
He would put on his (almond rocks) *socks*
And his (dicky dirt) *shirt*
And his (round the houses) *trousers*
He set if down the (frog and toad) *road*
His (how d'ya Dos) *shoes* was full of holes
And his coat was (Westminster Abbey) *shabby*
He also somewhat unclean to purchase some (Cape of Good Hope) *soap*
His (bushel and peck) *neck*
was extremely (two thirty) *dirty*
To avoid the (pen and ink) *stink*
His (north and south) *mouth*
His (mince pies) *eyes*
And he had a big red (I suppose) *nose*
He is a (saucepan lid) *kid* 🐐
A loaf of (uncle fred) *bread*
and a (stand at ease) *cheese*
I need a new pair of (early doors) *draws*
I'm in continual (george raft) *draft*
He made his way to the
(rubber bub) *pub* for a (Tumble Down the Sink) *drink*
He became very (elephant trunk) *drunk* and (Mozart) *p**sed*
When the landlord call (bird lime) *time*
The man came back to his (cat and mouse) *house*
Humming at (stewed prune) *tune*
It came to (khyber pass) *arse*
He saw a small brown (Richard The Third) *bird* but joke is people thinks its *turd*
Laying there at his (plates of meat) *feet*
And his rich (four by two) *jew*
Put his hand into his (sky rocket) *pocket* and took out a (Lady Godiva) *fiver*
For your (froth and bubble) *trouble*
His daughter was sitting by (Jeremiah) *fire* on her favourite (Lionel Blair) *chair*
I have more than enough to cover my (bottle and glass) *arse*
Should the kyber pass and bottle and glass have been swopped arround?
bottle and glass - pass and kyber pass - arse
🤔
I think saucepan lid is supposed to be quid, because she said here is a saucepan lid to buy the bread and cheese.
I'm getting only about every third rhyme, but it's hilarious.
+J. Lewis I do believe Harrap's have printed a dictionary on Cockney Rhyming Slang. Probably available on many bookseller sites.
This is one of those things where you know exactly what's coming, but it's hilarious anyway.
side splitting hilarious!! brilliant, absolutely brilliant and so damn funny no matter how many times I watch this!!
Still clever as after all these years, performed by one of the greats.
I would pay good bees and honey to have as good a bubble bath as I got from this sketch, again. You're also doing pretty good to get this sketch if you are a septic tank 😉.
Mmm bees and honey = money, bubble bath = laugh, septic tank = I wonder, Yank?
My grandmother was an East Londoner, so my Dad used to use the odd rhyming slang expression. I’m in Canada! I would ask him what he meant by, “where’s my titfer ?” Tit for tat, my hat.
@@karphin1 That is why we "blow raspberries!" As in, "I just blew a raspberry tart."
We sceptic tanks across the magic wand do sometimes catch what's going on. We're not all a lot of Berkshire Hunts who don't know Brad Pitt 😉
Not sure about being a septic tank but I do recall having one.
I had no clue what he was saying but the laughter was infectious.
Genius! A shame comedy isn't like this anymore
we wont see talent like that any more . the talent of today don't even come close .
The Richard The third flew back to it's nest ! LOL GENIUS !
Miss you Ronnie !
Richard the third - brilliant
I could watch this everyday and it would never become boring !
I was born in east end ( aka bethnal green) and since I was tought rhyming slang as a boy, I understand every single word and the way Ronnie barker used it, it makes laugh out loud from my North and south every single time, # cockney rhyming slang, # bethnal green, # cockney boy, # st Bernards forever.
A legend at work!
This is such a funny sketch, Ronnie Barker was so talented. I remember as a small child, watching The Two Ronnies with my Dad. He would quietly laugh at the sketches. This has reminded me how funny and talented Ronnie Barker was, but it has also taken me back to memories of my lovely Dad. Oh, I have a confession to make…I got the Richard III rhyming slang wrong too😉.
The best comedy duo ever. No PC bullshit, we will never ever get this brilliance again.
I'm 51 & was raised in the Appalachians, where there is a considerable, although ancient, Scotch-Irish ancestry. And some English as well. There may possibly have been some residual Cockney influence among some of the descendants of the people who emigrated there.
Point is, while I have never heard of Cockney rhyming slang before (although I've occasionally heard it on TV, but didn't know what it was, except "Englishmen talking amusing nonsense") I seem to have a faint, wispy childhood memory of some old folks, possibly grandparents or someone(s), talking to me a little like this to amuse me as a small child.
I just can't seem to put my finger on it. But I bet it was something passed down through the centuries and kept alive to amuse children with.
How can a couple of hundred years be 'ancient'?
Why do Americans have to pretend they belong to other countries? You don't. And you annoy real Irish, Scots etc by doing so.
And you are wrong about Cockney Rhyming Slang too.
DuckDuck, think I've heard what you're talking about but I'll come back to that. First have to ask if you're familiar with the Ronnies' Jehosaphat and Jones characters/songs? Since you left such smashing comments on the library sketch, and are from the Appalachians, I don't want to risk your missing them! Utterly brilliant and here on youtube. Folk/country/hippie sorts (I can't do them justice but you'll recognise the type the moment you see and hear them!) - the music surprisingly 'right' paired with their usual ingenious word-play. The Scots-Irish background in your part of the world is fascinating; the speech and music are such clear carry-overs. It's probably not likely that what you heard as a child originated from rhyming slang, as that mainly developed round the end of the 19th century and the App. ways go back much earlier (as you know!) Not many Cockneys emigrated - Essex was usually as far as we went! You never know, though. I've been fortunate in spending some time in your part of the world, it's beautiful and I really loved and admired the people. And yes, back in the early-to-mid '70's I definitely heard some older folk speaking to children in a quite mystical sort of word-play that (to me) sounded and felt incredibly, almost eerily, ancient and Gaelic. It was like travelling in time. Hearing spells but in a playful way. I think you're spot-on about it passing down from heaven only knows how long ago and am very grateful to you for reminding me of it! What I was privileged to hear may have been completely different, I don't know, but it still gives me chills (in a good way.) And the women who could 'talk away' boils, burns, etc - uncanny. All that other-worldly Celtic stuff that goes through time untouched. (Well, untouched til relatively recently, sadly.) Thanks for bringing back wonderful memories and giving my mind something to do during lockdown! Please don't think all of us from this side of the pond are as rude as CMOT. Everything you said made perfect sense. Hope you're doing well; stay safe.
@@pollymotley5041 Thank you for your in depth reply. From the way you described it, I think you did hear what I was talking about.
I've read that, in the 60s, university "experts", I'm not sure what educational persuasion, linguists, English professors, cultural grand poo-bahs, or whatever they were, would go back in the hills to find "primitive people to be amazed at, and perhaps write a paper or two on", and they said that they were hearing (I believe it was) near Elizabethan English, as it hadn't been spoken in England for centuries.
I listened to several Jehosaphat & Jones songs. Yes the word play was funny, but I cringe to think this was what American country music sounds like to British people, lol. I know it's a parody.
You may be interested in reading the defunct "West Virginia Hillbilly" newspaper (a tongue in cheek name).
The owner, editor, and chief cook and bottle washer, Jim Comstock (deceased many years 4, had the ear and attention of US Presidents, and of course governors, and countless others of the self-annointed intelligentsia, for decades. He was a bit like a modern Mark Twain. A gentleman, and a gentle and wise humorist.
He related stories every week about the folks from the hills, and they loved the attention.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Comstock
@@CMOT101 not counting native American Indians, Americans all have their ancestral roots in other countries and it’s completely natural to want to trace your roots and origins. They are not pretending that they belong to your country,but you should recognise that many of them have some of your blood in their veins. So unblock yer drains.
Jesus, this is tough for non-native speakers like me! That said, I have been a TWO RONNIES fan for decades. Greetings from a German English teacher.
the 1 & only late great never forgotten master of word play ronnie barker
Absolutely some of the finest comedy writing ever. 👍
We had Morcambe & Wise, the two Ronnies and now we have Ant & Dec!!!
MASTERPIECE !
The play on Richard III is brilliant for where I come from it mean "turd" hence the audience's response.
Happy memories, I understood every word.
Not sure which was first which second but I do remember a cartoon in a Punch magazine from I'd guess the early 70s.
The vicar was in the pulpit saying:
'Today's lesson is from the Bermondsey Bible.....
'The Lord is my Spotted Leopard ........'
this is a true classic
Comedy at its best. Understood every word.
Until
mjhinton1972 translation, please
This is genius.
Absolutely brilliant
Ronnie Barker was a genius wordsmith.
But was he as good as Gerald Wiley?
@@solentbum One and the same, so yes.
Words can not describe the two Ronnie's a part from pure gold genius the both of them
I wonder if this was another he wrote himself as Gerald Wiley? A true comic genius. Most verily.
Yes, he did write this sketch. Got a book of everything he wrote - almost. Some of his work has sadly been lost (in writen form), and doesn't appear in it.
Loved them to bits. They were so clever and so very , very funny!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Love the Two Ronnies
I've never even met real Cockneys but somehow I can understand their language. We have rhyming slang in Australia but it's more limited than in the UK.
Then just take a butchers hook
I wish I could understand more than the 10% I got. That 10% was hilarious.
Play it back at a slower speed withe sub titles on.
Mate, he deliberately made it easy for you. Us Londoners usually skip the rhyming word.
Nobody would understand this anymore due to the different population demographic of London today.
True. And at best, even most white Londoners only sound vaguely southern (i.e. Estuary English). Cockneys are well and truly on the way out.
Then: Laurel and Hardy, Morecambe and Wise, the Two Ronnie's! 😁😂🤣
Now: Ant and Dec?? FFS, we're done!
I am grateful to CZcams for the opportunity to appreciate what real humour is all about. No politics, sarcasm, victims or crude and foul language. Ken Dodd hit the nail on the when he said today's humour is cruel. I was so lucky to live in those former times when the BBC was able to provide us with genuine entertainment.
Who is this Anton Deck of which you speak, Earthling ? I know him not............................
@@marvinc9994 My fellow Earthbound Alien 👽, I have not heard of this "Anton Deck" of whom you speak, but "Ant and Dec" are a supposed comedy duo from the 'old country'; they are two of the most unfunny and unoriginal 'comedians' that mainly do work 'presenting' shows or giving running commentary - no doubt for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! - Who knows?
In real life, however, they are a standing joke; one (if not both of them) has a drug/alcohol problem, the other needs psychotherapy IMO.
The UK are welcome to keep them!!
@@maxlove4906
"for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! "
So, these 'Ant and Dec' are like what Earth People usually call 'The Government' ? I begin to understand ! What a strange place this planet is.................................
Nothing beats "four candles" but this and the Egyptian hieroglyphics sketches come close.
Don't forget the Mastermind sketch, answering the question before.
Doesn't get old. I had a right bubble bath!
So young lad that both these great dog trainers are loaf of bread. Barker surely had an apple a day with a flock of birds, and every egg yolk he told would always get a striped scarf out of me. Corbett may have been a little on the witch's wart side, but in the world of long division, they were both great church steeple. I take my welcome mat off to you both.
+A Pinch Of Weird
I'll translate for any non Brits.
So sad that both these great entertainers are dead. Barker surely had a way with words, and every joke he told would alwas get a laugh ( larf ) out of me.
Corbett may have been a little on the short side, but in the world of television they were both great people.
I take my hat off to you both.
And you can shut your north and south.
This entire bit is actually quite educational for someone who doesn't understand cockney rhyming slang.
@@CB-xr1eg
Thank you for your translation.
@@zulkiflijamil4033 No problemo.
Truly utterly brilliant
Pure gold.
One of the best 5 minute breaks that I have ever had.
The beauty of this piece, is that even if you know very little cockney rhyming slang, the usage in this sermon is such that even a novice can appreciate the humour and understand most of the Richard III's, implied by the rhymes.
In Sarf Lundun Richard the Third is a "turd", hence the extra cleverness of its use.
Great stuff , Ronnie , RIP .
always brilliant!
Simply Brilliant!
Still love ❤️ Ronnie ,brilliant isn't enough ! Can't see another like him doubt there is 🤗🤓😂😂😂
“A small brown Richard the Third” - could have 2 meanings - bird, and I’ll leave you to guess the other one!
That double meaning puzzled me ,thanks for the explanation, hard to keep up with Ronnie, he's so fast...got the turd OK , such a clever finali..
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT - Beyond compare!
Always loved the two Ronnies, and especially Ronnie Barker. An era long gone, sadly.