r/AmITheA**hole for Kidnapping a Child?
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 3. 08. 2024
- r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is a new father who discovers that his wife has a terrible habit of leaving their newborn baby unattended in the car while she runs errands. He confronts her about this habit, and she promises to change her behavior. Later, he notices his wife's car at a gas station and stops to say hello. When he realizes that his wife left their child in her UNLOCKED car, he becomes enraged and takes the baby. If she refuses to protect their child, OP will show her the consequences of her carelessness.
0:00 Intro
0:05 Kid in the car, door unlocked
3:20 Similar story
4:32 Inheritence
7:33 Sign while blindfolded
10:06 Gotta see those papers
10:51 Mom steals kids birthdays
14:59 Money is not needed to watch siblings
đ r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Spoiled Son After He Stole From My Company? âą r/AmITheA**hole For Fi...
linktr.ee/rslash
#reddit #AmITheButthole #funny
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Imagine calling someone ELSE narcissistic for refusing to buy you a gift for THEIR OWN birthday.
that is gaslighting
Thatâs projecting
YEAH ffs, that mother is narcissistic. She legitamtely is, and wants everything to be about her.
Why is your birthday so important? You didn't do anything. Your mother carried you for 9 months and then withstand excruciating hours of pain on that day. Which one is more important?
Fr I hope that thereâs a follow up to that story
There was a story of a man stealing a car, finding a baby, turning around to return the baby and giving the mother an ear-full for leaving her baby in the car.
A car thief gave a mother an ear-full for leaving a baby in a car, the car he stole.
Professionals have standards.
I've heard stories of car thieves finding children in the backseat and dumping the vehicle a couple blocks over. Larceny's one thing, but kidnapping or instant fatherhood (who knows with some states, they might try to get child support from ya just for being in close proximity) is something very few people would want to risk.
It would have been funny if he had called the cops on HER, for what she did. And then just left after giving his statement. Wouldn't happen but it would still be funny.
@@SerenaSilverMoon Yeah i mean it could happen if he just brought it back to the same place and claimed "he saw the baby in the car and the car wasn't even locked".
Yeah kidnapping vs car theft is totally different
Update on the first story from OP's account:
"Update on this situation: I sat my wife down this morning and did apologize for the way I went about things but said I was not sorry for caring about our sonâs safety and in the moment felt like she needed a huge wake-up call. She apologized for lying and continuing to do this unsafe practice. I asked her why she seems so casual about what she is doing, most parents I know (myself included) are on the paranoid side when it comes to their kids, and she has been doing this for so long without seeing an issue. I asked if she thinks sheâs dealing with some kind of postpartum mental health issue as I donât consider this normal, she broke down crying saying she doesnât know whatâs wrong with her. She has agreed to seek counseling and until there is a major change/improvement I will be running all errands with my son or we will be doing them together, but I told her I cannot trust her anymore to take him places by herself."
Fanks for posting the update!
He didn't kidnap the kid. He took him out of an unsafe situation.
Plus it's not kidnapping if it's *your* kid.
@@Bobo-Nose you can definitely kidnap your own kid, statistic are 49%-86%(sites aren't very consistent) of kidnappings are by family and 90% of those are by parents. Kidnappings by parents happen in situations such as a parent not having enough custody so they just decide to take the child and disappear or not give them back or another possibility would be an ex abuser taking revenge on the child or the parent. While this story I would not consider kidnapping, parental kidnapping definitely happens
@@linseyj.4738 Oh yeah, that's true.
@@Bobo-Nose A parent can actually kidnap their kid and itâs more common than a random kidnapping typically.
My own mother once kidnapped me when I was 14. Police found me and brought me to foster care the same day then back home with my dad the next day. Cut off all contact with her after that
Wife totally deserved that wake-up call. Better learn the lesson from her husband than from an actual kidnapping scenario (or, possibly worse, a heat stroke).
yeah i remember a story where a woman left her child in the car to run in the store for milk and some guy stole her car but when he realized there was a child in the car he drove back to the store a gave her her child back tell her what a horrible mother she was before driving off with her car
Or police... If I would spot a kid in a car on a hot day I would definitely call them, especially if the kid is already in distress. If the kid, or even a dog, would look already bad I would smash a window myself. I would rather risk paying for a car window than letting a kid or animal suffer or even die.
Luckily here in Germany the law would protect someone who smashes a window of a car in heat with a kid or animal clearly suffering on the inside as it would be considered a act of necessity or a justifieing emergency even when it's an animal in the car.
But I really, really love that feature tesla cars have where the big screen can show the inside temperature so it can reassure that a dog sitting inside isn't overheating or freezing (yes, cars may cool down in cold weather especially with windchill...)
@@All_will_be_revealed A thief with morals
@@sidetrack3887 DarkFluff, probably. That's where I first read it.
I've heard stories from kids dying when left in a car...
Young kids can't regulate their internal temperature as well, that's part of the reason babies aren't allowed in hot tubs
Dude who babynapped his own kid is totally NTA. She made a promise, and OP showed consequences in a relatively safe way. Hopefully this time it'll stick.
Hey that girlfriend don't deserve a whole score the ex don't either
The ex husband DOESINT either at all that money house whatever was gotten in the former marriage the money was from the former marshes your God dam right it should go to the ex-wife
At first I thought the title yes TA but, then the story played out and I was like, No. I had family members teach me in similar ways not to do stupid stuff like leaving my wallet on an arcade.
i would have taken the baby home. when she called the cops, i would have let her deal with the legal troubles it caused her.
@@davidburton3447 wrong story.... This is the one about the ex that died and the money not the kid in the gas station in the car
I agree although I don't think it's that she broke the promise out of spite I think she did it out of habit since she has been doing it since the kid was born. As I said she did deserve the tough love though
The reason why the son in the last story is being so quiet, not leaving his room, and not eating with the rest of the household is probably because he's using that time to search for cheap places to live so the moment he turns 18 he can leave. Also I've worked at places where if you don't show up for a shift you get written up, no warning or anything its a straight write up, and getting 3 writeups over the course of your entire time working there can result in you getting fired, and even if you dont get fired your annual review will be effected and you'll get less of a raise at the end of the year.
I dont think that is the inly time that has happened either
But he's a kid at his first job his mom needed his help during an emergency and he refused to help and then when forced wants money? Either way it's the mom's fault because she raised an entitled kid but I don't blame her for being upset
@@michaelf.2449 itâs not a 18 year old kidâs job to watch his momâs boyfriendâs kids because the kid got hurt. And the boyfriend is all angry and taking a kids birthday away because he wanted pay for watching kids that arenât his responsibility it just makes me sad f or the kid.
@@michaelf.2449 an entitled kid? You have to be joking? This kid is almost a fully grown adult, and is risking his job to do something that isnât his responsibility, as rslash pointed out, the mum couldâve stayed home, or they couldâve found a babysitter. The kid has lost out on a work day, a full days pay, and is right to ask for some kind of compensation, after all, you would pay an actual babysitter wouldnât you? So why shouldnât he get paid? The entitled ones here are the âparentsâ, his mums boyfriend is literally throwing a tantrum all because he asked to be paid, and probably only about $20 or something (Iâm presuming theyâre American). It also feels like the mum is forcing the whole âstepdadâ thing onto the kid even though they arenât even married, all in all the kid seems pretty unhappy in his living situation, and I donât blame him, if the stepdad blows up at something this minor god knows what else is going on.
@@michaelf.2449 yeah, sorry that he's trying to earn money and is now forced all of a sudden to babysit kids that aren't even his step siblings. his mom could've stayed at the house but they're too irresponsible so they make her son watch him...
For the inheritance story: I wouldn't give the late husband and butthole score. I wouldn't say he is reminiscing about he previous relationship. But that she was the mother to his late child. The woman who made that house a home for his family. And I think he is just wanting to give her what he thinks is justifiably hers.
personally i think he was honoring their late sons memory by giving what he had to the mother of their kid, the woman who helped raise him for years before he was killed. and imo the girlfriend getting 10k is enough to hold down the fort until she can get a job and provide for herself. its not like the husband left her homeless AND moneyless. if she was less of a dick she could have worked out things with OP and maybe asked OP if she could stay at the house for a few months for a lower rent until she managed to take care of herself. and she acted super selfish. she lost her boyfriend, but OP lost the father of her late child. they were both grieving.
but also the gf doesnt deserve any buttholes either. just think she could have handled it better
The thing that pisses me off the most about the 1st story is that the wife's reaction was very 'me, me, me'. She didn't seem to have ANY remorse for what she did. I would never trust her with a child again.
Yeah, _"no _*_mother_*_ should experience this fear!1!!",_ but the father should just live with this very threat brought on by her repeated extreme carelessness?!! đ€Šââïž
@@LRM12o8 Society are always on a woman side never on a man side.
They don't know the man side of the story because most of the time when a man is telling the truth but Society don't believe him and most woman would take that advantage.
Sure, men can be scummy but women can be sly as a fox to not get she want they want and can lie better than men.
Well, not all females are sly as a fox and not every men is scummy.
Look what I am trying to say the moral compass in USA work like this if your a male your evil and if you are a female your good. I am tired of that dude.
That's why woman molesting a man isn't taking seriously, man loosing he children even though he is a great father and woman abuse a man.
This is that world that treat it as a joke. Look I can pin a woman down to defend myself or she will yell "Rape" and I can hit a woman back because people wouldn't know the half of my story then I look like an evil person.
(They are still bad men out there but the world makes all the men nothing but rapist, control freak and beating women. Both gender can be assholes and we both much fast the consequences of our action.)
There will not always be people that will back you up, cams watching what happen and people saw the entire thing.
But most of the time if they were cams the polices wouldn't demand to check and the employees wouldn't check if a male tell to check the cams then you arrested now your life is ruined.
Female demand more rights that effects males.
Female would call us sexist when we point this out to them but it's fine they point the problems at us.
Update on Story #1: "I sat my wife down this morning and did apologize for the way I went about things but said I was not sorry for caring about our sonâs safety and in the moment felt like she needed a huge wake up call. She apologized for lying and continuing to do this unsafe practice.
I asked her why she seems so casual about what she is doing, most parents I know (myself included) are on the paranoid side when it comes to their kids, and she has been doing this for so long without seeing an issue. I asked if she thinks sheâs dealing with some kind of postpartum mental health issue as I donât consider this normal, she broke down crying saying she doesnât know whatâs wrong with her.
She has agreed to seek counseling and until there is a major change/improvement I will be running all errands with my son or we will be doing them together, but I told her I cannot trust her anymore to take him places by herself."
Well, that good at least. This can be worked through, hopefully.
Iâm glad the mom is getting help, and that theyâre working through this.
Good!
thank you man!
@@figurez5779 You're welcome!
This episode is full of narcissists and abusers. That husband trying to get his wife to sign those papers was way too adamant about her 'playing that game' to not be trying to get her to sign something without her consent. He was obviously just going to switch out the blank paper for some sort of contract or divorce settlement once she was blindfolded. Playing the whole 'wahhh you don't trust me' tactic is just that. A manipulation tactic. My narcissistic ex played that one with me ALL THE TIME. The woman who thought she knew better than the husband about leaving the kid in the car, blatantly ignoring his boundaries, then gaslighting him into thinking HE did something wrong when he pulled their son out of a potentially dangerous situation and got to her the ONLY way she would listen... And the mom believing she deserves expensive gifts on her kids' birthdays?! It's obvious that she's just so manipulative and awful to deal with when something gets in the way of what she wants, that the whole rest of the family would rather stand up for her than deal with her acting like a child when someone doesn't do what she wants. I mean, she has to be manipulating them for THAT many people to have not stood up to her ridiculous behavior. She got a MACBOOK on her child's birthday AND a $300 necklace? And the kid got clothes and a few small things for their apartment? It's disgusting how those children are being treated. What a horrible person. Ugh these people are so frustrating
I figured she should just learn to sign his name and then agree to sign whatever it is but just sign his name, or a completely made up name. This is about the only way she will confidently get to the bottom without exposing herself to risk.
But why would he not let her see the paper if the one he's using is currently blank? If there's nothing to see, why won't he let her see it?
The entirety of R/AITA is nothing but abusers, gaslighters, and those who are getting abused and gaslit. It's a really depressing thread and I don't listen to these very much.
The only way to deal with "you don't trust me" is to just shrug and say it's hard to trust anyone who is trying to make you sign something without letting you look at it first.
Rslash: "Your mom sounds like she might be a narcissist"
Me: "MIGHT be?!"
There is no question about it. This is extremely narcissistic behaviour. But she was right about one thing: We do need to let go of toxic people in our lives. With that in mind, you may want to consider going low/no contact with her.
My thoughts exactly. The kids get 0 days to themselves, and she gets like 6 days... her birthday, their birthdays, AND Mother's day. Fuck her.
That mom in the last story was 100% TA. Not only did the son have a valid argument, but the boyfriend decided that the son defying him was grounds for taking electronics and cancelling his birthday? Screw that boyfriend and screw OP for not standing up for her son.
Also, not sure if anyone else caught this, but the boyfriend specifically TOLD the son to skip his workday. He didnât ask, he TOLD him to. Thatâs a giant red flag and I hope the son gets out of there ASAP.
to me the boyfriend doesnt even have grounds to take the electronics away unless they are living under his roof, and even that is pushing boundaries. If this guy was around when the son was like 2-3 and raised him then i'd understand. However it seems a recent relationship with op and him as they are only dating. Yeah the kid needs to get the hell out of there.
I couldnât agree more. The son was in the right and the mom and her boyfriend overstepped here, and theyâll probably be shocked when the son goes no contact with them one day.
I honestly donât know which is worse/ a bigger red flag: the boyfriend cancelling his birthday, or telling him to take off a workday to babysit instead of asking.
The fact that the mom calls her boyfriend the step father and the other kids her step children is a red flag.
And then they blame HIM for abusing the situation. All the kid want is just to have the money he otherwise would have earned.
on the signing story: "don't you trust me?" is a classic abuser gambit. No one who is honest needs to manipulate someone into stupid trust games.
I think the lead-up game with detecting objects was part of the overall scheme; get her used to playing the game and then introduce the signing part.
There are soo many things she could be signing over. Way too dangerous
hey i know it's late, and this might not get answered anymore, but i need that for self-reflection now. Is it still justified to say:"it's sad that you think i'm not trustworthy enough, to tell me the truth, but if we are not on this trust-level yet, that's fine. I know trust has to be earned."??
If she DID sign some papers, she needs to see them - even if they are blank sheets of paper (which I doubt). That whole âthatâs breaking the rulesâ thing⊠Whoâs rules? I doubt Hasbro created this âgameâ.
@@darlenefraser3022 Yes this will piss him off but maybe she should sign it. Sign it Jane Doe or her favorite book/movie/tv characters name but NEVER her real name. When he yells/argues to be serious. She could try to play innocent and ask what's wrong? You wanted to know if my signature is the same so see Jane Doe. When he demands you use your real name keep repeating NO. Not without a valid explanation other than signature comparison. Which you just proved with Jane Doe.
2nd story:
His last will update was a year ago and he's been with this woman 2 years. That means he knew what he was doing when he wrote his will. She has no claim to it.
The wife that left the baby in the car complained about how no mother should experience trauma like? Well then.. maybe.. just, maybe? Don't leave your baby in an unlocked car for more than 5 minutes? Perhaps? Huh?
Oh HELL NO. You NEVER leave your baby alone like that!! Thatâs a non -negotiable. Sheâs right that no mother should ever feel that fear, which is why she needs to step up and BE RESPONSIBLE!
The worst thing is they said it was an infant so there like 2 or 3 years old they canât even run away or defend there self.
Let's not forget the dad, I'm trying to imagine how that conversation would go:
Mum: "Dear, I ignored your request and our baby was kidnapped"
The anger, fear, misery, and betrayal he'd feel would be beyond words.
Yeah! My immediate thought when she said that was "yeah! And you wouldn't feel that fear if you were more responsible! What if someone else had taken him? Then you wouldn't have only you husband mad at you!"
Itâs even worse when babies are left in a hot car!
Yeah, that was messed up. And who knows how long the kid had been in there before he got there.
First story: NTA, OP is trying to give his wife a wake up call to show her the consequences of what she has been doing.
Unfortunately, the fact that she wants an apology makes it quite clear that the wife has not learnt her lesson.
typical Narcissist
Sheâs just like my mom, so corrupted to the core by delusion and narcissism. She has the idea that sheâs somehow always correct, and sheâll never consider the concept that maybe, just maybe, she is a human being, and she can be wrong about things and not everything she thinks or says or does is right.
Iâm tired of it, whatever happened to owning up to oneâs actions? So many fights and grudges can be avoided by the easy way out, and that is by admitting fault and apologizing and learning to change. Too bad nobody wants to do that these days, especially those from the millennialsâ parents generation and beforeâŠ
He should get a paternity test.
You are hypocrite. You have over millions of kids in your basement and here you are talking about kidnapping
@@JimmySpace69 the basement I am talking about is under my pants
A few years ago a mother left her three toddlers alone in the car while she ran into the chemist, FIVE MINUTES!!!!!
in that five minutes one of the kids got hold of a lighter and set the car on fire! one of my friends pulled those three children out of that burning car. She said it went up like tissue paper. FIVE MINUTES, five minutes to get your prescription, five minutes for your children to die. No amount of time is okay to leave your kids unattended.
She needed that wake up call. Iâve actually seen a video where someone stole a car with a baby in it and came back to yell at the parent an and give the baby to them. The criminal cared more than they did. Never leave kids in the car alone, ever!
It wasn't a prank, it a teaching a lesson moment, which she deserved. Honestly, I would document this all just in case there will be custody battle
I was also against calling it a prank and you're totally right. She doesn't respect him and it could lead to divorce in the future.
In story1 I say divorce that dumb woman and take the child
@@sethwilson6380 agreed
She should be divorced, people like her shouldnât have kids and she could even be locked up for doing that
@@therealspeedwagon1451 you know the saying all kids should have parents but not all parents should have kids, the dad should divorce and get full custody
Story 6: This is the worst kind of parent. The ones who believe the children they make only exist to serve them. People like this don't deserve to be parents
Parenting licenses, nuff said
I felt so offended by this story. Garbage mom
@@tnadg9521 i really dont
OP in the last story is definitely TA, as well as the boyfriend. Missing a day of work can make a huge difference, I'd be pissed if I didn't get paid back.
I don't know, I think in the last story everyone involved was in the wrong. The sons request was reasonable, but it sounds to me like what he did was to instantly ask for money when op got home instead of bringing it up in a calm manner. He should have started with "I missed work to watch the kids and would like compensation for it" rather than "cough up the money." And his argument about his siblings not being his responsibility says to me that he didn't give a single thought to how the situation was an emergency, only about how it inconvenienced him. Zero compassion. The parents were unreasonable no doubt, and canceling his birthday was a low blow, but the son wasn't innocent either.
âI really didnât appreciate how my son used this family emergency to his advantage.â
Lady, you used HIM to YOUR advantage when you forced him to look after the step siblings. the last story is a clear YTA. pay the dude, heâs not responsible for his step siblings in the slightest
Not even step siblings. Children of the man their mother is dating.
@@heart.9889 Exactly. They're relationship wouldn't even be considered common-law in most places where that's a thing. Maybe if they were together for five years and didn't believe in marriage or plan on getting married, then those kids could be considered step-siblings. But as it is, the kid's only had the bf in his life since the age of 14. The guy doesn't even qualify as a dad since he didn't raise him.
@@akl2k7 I mean he's been a father figure in the kids life for years at this point if the kid can't help his mother during an emergency then honestly he's selfish
@@michaelf.2449 he made him skip a workday, he should pay him and thats that. The kids arent his problem
@@michaelf.2449 brodie made him skip his workday where he coulda been earning money, asked if he could get paid for that day because he was forced to skip his job, get's scolded for it, grounded and now has his birthday taken away. But you say that he's selfish?
The husband gave her a HUGE wake up call. How easy it is for any child to be taken away if they aren't watched? Very easy, and there are very horribly dark examples of this. The wife has absolutely zero excuse to completely endanger their baby's life and demand an apology. OP took the exact steps to ensure the future safety of his child.
Given I've grown up attending to kids with 9 siblings, and how scared my mum has been when one when out of sight, I give the wife 6/5 buttholes.
Not only the risk of the baby being kidnapped, babies can die in cars when left alone
Honestly, the kidnapping thing Iâm not nearly as worried about as the âdied of heat stroke in the carâ thing. Like if she literally gets into the habit of leaving the kid in the car like this, itâs much more likely the kidâs gonna die of heat sooner or later than being kidnapped by someone else. Itâs also considerably more likely that sheâs gonna have the cops called on her for the same.
@@Tustin2121 Oh god yeah don't get started. Absolutely right to y'all. I was just keeping it on the whole kidnapping theme of the post when I wrote that.
@@Tustin2121 depending on where they live, you can also include freezing inside the car.
And seriously, how irresponsible do you have to be to think leaving a baby alone inside a car is a good idea?
Being disabled often means you have to put a lot of trust in people around you, so as a blind person, that contract story was super scary. I never even thought of that being a potential issue.
Wait, how did you write this?
@@A_Pigeon181 smart phones have come a long way. Especially with the assistive touch that iPhones have.
@@quazzdeelee4289 you realize phones have assistance for blind people, right....?
Yea
@@A_Pigeon181 talking most likely, you can write a book just by talking, even if your not looking at the computer.
That daughter story reminds me of my own mother, who I have zero contact with. She abused me and allowed my brother to violently beat me, and forced me to care for him whilst she did whatever she wanted when I was a kid, every birthday she and him would scream in my face, threaten me, beat me etc etc, so I stopped celebrating around age 16 because it was a trigger date (got diagnosed with PTSD later). Since cutting contact sheâs making constant âitâs so hard being an unappreciated single motherâ, and âhappy birthday to my selfish, spiteful daughter, I canât believe sheâd do this to meâ.
Every year without fail I have to post on my social mediaâs a wall of receipts showing the abuse, and asking her flying monkeys to leave me alone, because every single year she gets randoms to message me and tell me how much of a horrible daughter I am. And every single year I send them receipts, and Iâve yet to get an apology from her screaming monkeys, I just get âsheâs your mother you should forgive herâ, or âoh I didnât knowâ. Every single birthday, because apparently telling her years ago âIâm cutting all contact and do not want you to contact me ever againâ was extremely difficult to understand. Sheâll never admit she was wrong, that she caused my PTSD, that she allowed my brother to beat me so violently Iâd end up in hospital, or that she hardcore neglected me whilst psychologically abusing me, but she will act like Iâm the super evil daughter.
Really hope OP cuts contact, because it just reminds me of my own mother and there was no other way of solving this, sheâd never apologise or admit fault, and I refuse to deal with her abuse, and it just sounds like OP is gunna go through the exact same thing.
Oh god, that woman will rot in hell
Last story.... I am the oldest. My youngest sibling is 17 years younger than me. I was paid and compensated for every time my mom and step dad needed a babysitter. Whether she meant it or not, the mom showed her son that her boyfriend and his kids are more important than his valid feelings and requests. He will never forget it.
well,he's just the son,he doesn't bang the mother and give her so much pleasure,which the bf probably is doing well...
No, he won't
The dad with baby"kidnapping" did an amazing job about showing mom how irresponsible the mom is. I only hope that if he finds this again he will understand what an major red flag that is. And maybe leave a message "hey, found your baby, I'll take him, thanks"
The story with the birthday-stealing mother sounds like a narcissist of the worst kind. OP needs to go no contact with the parents, quickly.
That's exactly what I thought while listening to the Story. I feel sorry for the OP and her Siblings :(
Honestly, it looks like the mother is doing the work for OP in terms of going no-contact. I say she take that opportunity and run, and tell her siblings to do the same when they can.
@@Tustin2121 I always find it funny when people give me the silent treatment for an extended period then are shocked that I'm not waiting around for their call. I have a life to live; if you don't want to be a part of it, your choice. But don't be surprised when I don't let you back in.
I hope OP can read your post, or something similar. They need to get out and fast.
@@Tustin2121 yes the mom posted about getting rid of toxic people and how blood doesn't make a family. So OP should take her lead on that. Get rid of the toxic parents because blood doesn't make a family. Done and dusted. But try to keep contact with the siblings as they will need help and support.
I agree. But funny enough, there's been days where my birthday falls on mother's day. So I'll have to celebrate mother's day with my mom, grandma and aunt while they all wish me a happy birthday. Like it's cruel what op is going through but I actually have to deal with that too from time to time and it's not because my mom is a narcissist.
Baby in the car story
"No mother should have to go through this" completely agree, which is why you shouldn't leave kids in cars, especially unlocked.
Tell her to imagine for a second that it wasn't the husband who did the kidnap, but it was a real kidnapping. She'd be in tears and regret leaving the kid in the car. The husband could put all blame on her too, cos it's literally 100% her fault
There needs to be an update about the blindfold story!! Is the husband poisoning her? Did he bar her family from coming to see her? Is he trying to collect her life insurance?? I need to know!
Guilt tripping a teenager into buying a mother a 300 dollar gift on her child's birthday is amazingly cruel. Not to mention that she has 4 children, her own birthday and mothers day, so there is no doubt that she's acting similar to that on those occasions. That also means that even if we treat that gift as an outlier, we can expect she's expecting someone barely into college or working a starter job to pay 1000+ dollars a year for gifts to her, and that she is planning to get this 5 times over once all her children are fully grown. Just how greedy is that "mother"?
Also on the last story "He thought he could get money out of helping family out" is a solid indicator of how narcissistic the "parents" are. He didn't think he could "get money", he just expected to not lose out on money he would have earned if not for the demand of the "stepfather". And then you punish him for asking if he can get the money he lost out of because of that demand. You're quite literally treating him as a conditional slave, and punishing him for trying to become independent and not jumping to your every beck and call. He is now resisting anything he can, since it's become obvious he won't be treated like your child unless you stand to gain from it.
She gets like 8 or nine days where she gets gifts
That's so true, these gifts accumulate to so much money over the year! And that doesn't even include seasonal fests like Christmas, or whatever this family celebrates during the year, which no doubt accumulate a few more days where huge gifts are expected.
I'm guessing she doesn't give her kids gifts on Mother's Day huh? You know, because those 4 are the reason she is a mother.
For the inheritance story, I think it's perfectly logical the ex left most of the stuff to OP. Most of that money was likely made when they were together so this seems like a thank you for the years of support. I'm sorry but the wife you were with for 16 years and mother of your dead child to me has way more right to the marital home than your girlfriend of 2 years. That is the only other person who truly understands the pain you both went through and for the girlfriend to think she's entitled to everything and demand inheritance is not ok. The girlfriend has $10,000, more than enough to find a decent place to live and hold her down until she gets a job.
Yeah and she never specified if they had any kind of friendly relationship after the divorce, like my parents got divorced but are still pretty good friends
@@thespiciestmeme1181 she literally said they hadnât spoken for 6 years
@@Playingwithproxies But that doesnât mean the divorce wasnât amicable. Just because you donât speak for a certain amount of time doesnât mean you donât respect one another. They lost their only child. Sure, they made success together, but that child was quite literally the only thing that was truly a part of BOTH of them. The rest is replaceable. My mom had a miscarriage during her first trimester and my parents couldnât look at each other for MONTHS. Couldnât even be in the same room together. They felt like they failed each other. I canât even imagine what it wouldâve been like to lose a child youâve watched grow into a young adult. They could still fully respect one another but not be able to connect at all. Part of that also couldâve been distancing due to age. It would make sense, as they get older, to not want to fully attach in the event they lose the other to death. Then, they truly have NO ONE tying to the happy family that couldâve been.
OP is not the Butt because the ex updated his will a year ago. And he was with the girl friend for 2 years so he updated the will while he was with the girlfriend so he knew what he was doing.
I will say I think the GF gets some butthole score because she's like "I emotionally supported him through his grief" as if OP WASN'T GOING THROUGH THE SAME GRIEF AS THE EX!!!!!!!!!!!
1. At least she got to experience the safe, unharmed return of her child.
You can't just tell your kid to skip work like it's school or something. They treat the son like a young kid but still expect him to be a responsible almost adult? Mom's BF has 0 rights to punish the son.
In the last story. THEY MADE HIM MISS WORK!
The f is wrong with these people. Of course he wants compensation. He is 16. He doesn't have access to full time income like you do. Nor did he choose to accept the responsibility of having kids.
Can we just take a moment to think about how EASY it was for OP to "kidnap" his baby. Like damn. He was in and out in less than 6 minutes. Nobody noticed. The kid didn't cry. He was able to practically drive away scott free. It was really that easy.
A car thief could have just went and accidentally steal a kid
But then again some car thief did give a woman an earful about this
Maybe the kid didn't fight or cry or yell because it was his own dad?
@@Richard_Nickerson definitely but it still doesnât change how easy it would have been for an actual kidnapper because let be frank, people would could just think "oh ffs another crying baby, great" instead of "omg a baby is being kidnapped". Even if they did look, the steps for kidnapping the baby is as simple as get out car, open other car's door, unbuckle baby, put baby in front passager, get in car, lock door(s), depending on the amount of people who noticed, either peel out of there or just casual exit. Terrifying easy.
@@Richard_Nickerson In addition to what the comment above me says, the baby could've simply been asleep! đ€·ââïž
Either way the point is: *she didn't even lock the doors!* That would be bad enough to get upset even without anything in the car when it's not fully hers (do they sharea bank account? Who pays insurance?)!
Let alone the danger of baking or freezing the child to death!
@@LRM12o8
You mistake my pointing something out as a defense of this woman and/or as disregarding the other facts. I'm saying no more than what I'm literally saying.
The kid in the last story is in the right here. I've been in that position before myself, missing full days of school to watch my younger siblings because my mom refused to find someone else for them. That's a form of parentification, which is abuse.
Ya if she going shopping or something. The kid broke his ankle. Op in the last one is some kind of entitled AH
From OP of the mother story, everything in quotes is OP.
"Mother's day is a huge thing in our family. We (grandparents, my maternal aunt and uncle + their partners and kids, all of my immediate family) go to a fancy restaurant, give gifts, etc. the restaurant bill is split by everyone there who has a job but my mom, aunt and grandma.
Though it is important to note that while my mom does give gifts to my grandma on mothers day, she doesn't have to keep the same birthday tradition as us. On my mom's birthday, she doesn't give her mom anything (like we're expected to) because 1) my parents couldn't afford it after having so many kids and having money tied up in that and 2) because my grandma views us grandkids as a lifelong gift instead.
I'm assuming my mom would also no longer expect a gift on my birthday if I had kids, but jokes on her that's never going to happen."
End quote.
So there was a few smaller messages of clarification, but it basically sounds like this weird ass "your birthday is your parent's day" thing, IS a family tradition, and that the mother used to do the same thing to the grandmother, and that NOW she isn't expected to do it because she has her own kids.
So while this is still weird as fuck and sounds very toxic: Yes, she DID used to give gifts to her own mother on her birthday as well, so maybe not narcissism, it's how she was raised.
The mom is still the asshole for ghosting OP and for pressuring a fucking CHILD into spending $300 on a necklace though.
Last story: even fi they were married, Its not uncommon for older siblings to be paid for watching their younger ones. It's called an allowance. OP needs to realise that her son HAS to take priority over her relationship. Even if you disagree on the money issue, there's no reason for taking his electronics away or taking his bday away. He's 18.
No if actually read the story instead of listening to it you see that original story said 16 instead of 18
@@ivyunicorn2072 still they are awful parents to that kid
@@ivyunicorn2072 my bad. I heard 16.
RSlash said 16 when he read the story and mistakenly said 18 in his comments afterward.
And if he's going to be taking time off work to watch the kids, then it's actually costing him money. By any sane standard, he deserves to be compensated for that.
Skipping a day of work just to take care of somebody else's child for free? Hell no. I'm used to this favoritism of BFs. My mom is the exact same way. Then wonders why we don't have the best relationship
Same
For the mum stealing her kids' birthdays story, she wasn't jealous of the gifts her mum was receiving, she was annoyed at her mum for expecting such an extravagant gift from her younger sister. Why couldn't she have been placated with a less costly gift? So... yeah. Assuming she was jealous made the aunt look blind to everything that isn't about the mum.
Last story: they're not your stepkids, they're not his step siblings. You use the term "boyfriend", not "husband". Your son really doesn't have a familial obligation towards your boyfriend or his kids.
Edit: rSlash is right - either take the other kid or don't take both adults. WTF?
Reminds me a story of a thief who stole a car, only to return the baby in the car to the cars owner and to lecture them, imagine a thief having better morals than a parent
Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things that make you believe you should have to pass a good lot of tests to be allowed being a parent. Some people just shouldn't be.
Final story- both mom and bf deserve a higher score. Kid was sixteen, so he probably felt like her couldn't say no, and when he asked for pay, he had all electronics taken and his birthday party that was MONTHS away. A very skewed punishment, no matter how you slice it and mom saw no problem with that. Will bet anything boyfriend is aiming to alienate son and he is succeeding.
He was 18
@@greenblocker7316 *16. Timestamp of the screenshot from the story text visible at 15:11, you're welcome.
you are absolutely right a 16 year old with a job is amazing to start with most 16-year-olds don't want to work or go to school and to take a day of work from him and make him watch potential step sibling since this is just a boyfriend he should get something for his lost day of work
@@morningflower9154 thanks
Plus âŠ. I feel really weird that sheâs calling him his stepdad and their step kids as hers and Iâm like âheâs your boyfriend of TWO years. Most likely your son does not view him as a parent; not even as an authority; he is YOUR boyfriend. And those are HIS kids. Itâs not a long enough relationship that you should be calling each otherâs kids as step kids nor making rules to apply to your partnerâs 16 YEAR OLD.
He most definitely he needs to pay the teen for babysitting; yes BABYSITTING his kids.
Okay, the baby thievery reminded me of something from when I lived at home between college semesters. At the time, I biked about 20 minutes to work (and then back) every day. So I come out of the store after a long shift to find my bike lock still wrapped around my front wheel where I locked it. But no bike.
My heart DROPPED. I bought it that summer because it took me an hour to walk to and from work every day, and I wanted to save time. So, I put the VERY EXPENSIVE bike lock in my bag and left the tire there, ready to make the hour walk home because what was I supposed to do?
I almost cried. The bike alone cost me $600, which was a LOT for a broke college student.
My dad calls me as I'm leaving the parking lot. He drove up WITH MY BIKE in the back of his truck to lecture me on how easy it was to steal my bike because I didn't use the bike lock correctly.
(He never taught me how to use a bike lock but apparently was super annoyed I didn't wrap it around the frame properly and decided to teach me a lesson).
I was so pissed and tired and felt like I was gonna puke.
WORST prank ever. But at least it wasn't a baby.
any parent who forces their oldest child become a parent to their siblings, to kids who aren't theirs, is absolute garbage.
Fifth story: OP just screw up her relation with her son. Good luck trying to fix it, because the boyfriend already decides to end destroying that bridge and doing some damage to OP's relation bridge.
On top of that the son is 18. That's an adult and they're taking his electronics away. In America, you legally can't do that. The son could 100% report theft if anything is taken from him. Even if OP breaks up with her boyfriend, their relationship is damaged forever. OP chose to side with her boyfriend instead of her own child. You can't come back from that. If I were friends with him I'd tell him to move out as soon as possible and go minimal contact since they don't respect him even though he's an adult.
@@shriekinggoblin3021 well the son was 16 i think r/ mispoke when giving the score but still agree atleast one of them could of gone to the hospital they didnt need the boy to stay and that was a really harsh punishment for asking to be paid and that relationship is most likely done for now
Oh most definitely. I hope that kid is doing well in life and I hope the mother is suffering some well deserved karma. She's clearly thinking with her vagina and neglecting her kid.
Yh he had to take time and money out of his day to babysit kids he doesnt like and when he asks to be paid, which he most likely spends on himself making it easier to spend money on the other children, they act like hes unreasonable. Sure you could decline him of the money, which is a dick move, but punishment isnt necessary. At the end of the day he asked a question, and was punished for it
Indeed! The dude is 18, and that asinine boyfriend took his stuff and canceled his birthday?!? WTF?!? Heâs not even his dad! Heâs just a bum boyfriend
Last story: that kid is never gonna talk to his mom when hes older lmao
Nor should he
In the first story, OP is 100% NTA. The wife was neglectful and she needed a wake-up call as to what she was doing was super dangerous. She should be the one apologizing for possibly endangering her childâs life (The way you said prank, I really doubt that it was a prank, more like a lesson being taught)
The husband who wants her to sign papers with out reading them. Could be a DNR. Especially if she has health problems.
Whenever you side with your boyfriend/girlfriend over your children for absurdly harsh punishments, you will lose your children. There's obviously a lot more going on in the last story that op is hiding, I sincerely hope the son moves out soon and goes LC or preferably NC with his mother.
The boyfriend forced him to skip work (and lose out on money and trust with his job) and canât even make him whole in terms of being paid. Wow.
The boyfriend being able to punish his GFâs son and cancelling his birthday is ridiculous. He has no authority over a child that is not his.
I hope they OPâs son leaves her high and dry until she comes to her senses and begs for his forgiveness (and stands up to her controlling and abusive boyfriend). She is a pathetic woman for siding with her AH boyfriend. I sure hope the son has a decent father in his life because his mother is clearly choosing her bf over her own child.
It's not remotely the same but when I started developing a different personality than what they appreciated, my parents started downplaying and ignoring me and simply chose other aspects of their lives instead of putting in any effort whatsoever to try and find a compromise with me. They decided if something wasn't important to them I must be exaggerating or using it as an excuse.
It hurt. I'm still hurt over this. I will go low contact with them as soon as I'm able to.
Yeah, pretty sure there's more, but OP is only telling us about the stuff she's ok with and doesn't make her look too much like the awful man-chasing mom she clearly is.
Sadly I know this to be true. My mom is like this, but its more of a "I need a man in my life to feel whole." kind of thing and the fact that she has/had 3 kids didn't really matter. We didn't make her happy and so to keep most of her guys she'd more often then not agree with them and wonder why we didn't respect them or her, mostly them, ever. She's still like this but her bf isn't around my brother and I much, well sadly not yet.
@@stephanien6237 son shoulda called the cops that bf stole his things.
if not that take em back any means necessary and walk. Id rather live in a car then be around abusers.
seriously, the first story, the fact that she doesn't appreciate the fact that her example was a safe one all things considered and she expects an apology, the guy deserves a best dad award
First story: NTA. That was completely negligent of the wife to leave a child alone, let alone in an unlocked car? Any number of things could have happened in that time. What if the child damaged the car? What if the child left? What if someone stole the car and the child?
Second story: Itâs unfair, sure, but thatâs not the OPâs fault. NTA.
Third story: NTA. If anything legally binding was signed by the OP, thereâs no way to prove that the OP was blindfolded and couldnât see what they were signing, so itâs very reasonable to have reservations about signing things blindfolded.
Fourth story: whaT? wHAT? She gets gifts on _other peopleâs birthdays?_ Thatâs completely outrageous. NTA.
Last story: YTA. Although Iâm holding a neutral opinion on the matter of payment, since it seems like there wasnât an agreement reached beforehand, that punishment was completely overboard.
RSlash pulled the words out of my mouth in the story about babysitting. When I was 7 I was attacked by a dog and received 16 stitches in the face (narrowly missed having half my face paralyzed). My mom rushed me to the hospital and my dad stayed with my brother. OP's adult son is not obligated to leave work to watch his mom's boyfriend's kids. Geez, I even know plenty of family's that pay the older children to babysit their younger siblings. 1. They don't want resentment. 2. The older kids didn't choose to have much younger siblings and aren't responsible for them. 3. The older kids act responsibly, they treat watching their siblings more seriously when getting paid and it keeps everyone safer.
"Your birthday is meant to show appreciation for me, because I'm the one who gave birth to you!"
Yeah sounds like a narcisist to me!
Honestly, Iâve heard of many college campus security personnel doing something similar to the first story.
Except itâs usually bags and laptops left unattended and the leave a note with something along the lines of âYour item could have been stolen, buts instead; we have it at the security officeâ. Sone people need a harsh, yet controlled dose of reality.
This is an interesting method, def the sorta thing that A: shows they need to be aware of what they leave behind in plain sight, B: to insure their doors are locked at all times. I feel like this is something that more colleges or even some work places could benefit from. I work at a building that has had several car break ins for both stealing and vandalism. The building had to put cameras out in the parking lot just to prevent more from happening.
That happened to me once in middle school. I used to use my gym locker without a lock. One day someone had gone in my locker and took money out of my wallet. They left a note saying they could've done worse and advised me to get a lock. Nowadays, I'm much more careful with keeping my stuff secured.
This sounds like a great thing for colleges to do
This is super interesting and seems really helpful. I always just carry my stuff around the whole campus because I'm paranoid
blindfolded signatures
OP...under NO circumstances should you sign ANYTHING!!!!!!!
Our oldest child is 9 years older than her step sibling. For now, she gets "payed" by us with going to the movies with friends, accessories for her electric devices, whatever she might need or want at the moment (in an reasonable price range), since she isn't old enough yet to watch him alone, but helps by watching him if we go to a restaurant together or to the playground etc.
If she gets older and has use for money, we will pay her whatever I would pay a babysitter, if she agrees to watch her step sibling, especially in an emergency! And especially if she would've skipped work to do so!
I don't get why the mother would defend her boyfriend and let him discipline him so harshly, he did nothing wrong! She will be up for a rude awakening, once he moves out.
The story of the mom taking over her own kids' birthdays: Mother's Day exists. Mother's Day is the day you celebrate your mother for everything she did and still does for you.
Your own child's birthday isn't the day to celebrate you.
The next story about how "babysitting siblings = no reimbursement for missing work", I'm going to visit my brothers soon while my parents go on a work-related vacation, and *my parents* are reimbursing me for a whole week. As someone who lives paycheck-to-paycheck, simply missing one day is a huge deal. Reimburse your children for babysitting. It's child care. The person caring for your kids deserves to be paid for their time and energy.
Yeah, that too.
I wish I got reimbursed for baby sitting my younger siblings. As the oldest, I'm expected to help cook and put my siblings to bed which I helped do from the age of 11. The eldest are expected to be the unpaid "help" because we were born first.
Sorry for the rant, but the son in the story is in the right.
@@milliejenkinson5832 I agree. I'm the oldest myself (and the only [biological] girl of the family). My mom eventually got me a job as a respite worker for my DS brother, and that was her way of "reimbursing" ((quoted because after my first failed attempt to move out she started taking some of my money for "rent")) me to do all the cooking, cleaning, and babysitting.
I'm living on my own now, finally. And I'm glad my parents understand needing to reimburse me for time off work. Bills can't pay themselves, lol.
@@milliejenkinson5832 omg being the oldest sucks. I have a wonky sleep schedule that means I usually sleep between 2 and 6 am. My mother will call my brother to see if he's awake, and if he doesnt answer after the first call she wakes me up (7 am) to get him up so he doesnt miss the bus. THE BOY IS 17 FOR CHRIST SAKE! I do the most chores out of everyone in the house to begin with, but then my family is like "hey I don't wanna do my chores today so I'm gonna pawn them off on you, here's $3 thanks". Making dinner every night, and occasionally breakfast and lunch is taxi g enough as is (especially cuz I have a bad back). Then I gotta clean off the table, do the laundry, take out the trash, clean the litter box, feed the animals, clean the kitchen, and sweep the house. I'm being run ragged.
I know I am late but going by their mom's logic shouldn't the kids be getting gifts on mothers day since they are the reason the mother is able to be celebrated during it?
When I was a kid, my mom and I were walking through a parking lot and my mom happened to spot a baby in a car. He was crying, but his cry was really weak. My mom started freaking out and actually broke the window to get him out. We don't know how long he was in there, but he was so hot it felt like we'd pulled him out of an oven. Onlookers noticed and ran over to help, giving us water for the baby. My mom sat on the curb, rocking the baby and trying to cool him off, while some onlookers ran into the mall to call the police (this was before cellphones were a thing). This should tell you something--the cops took over ten minutes to arrive on the scene and the mother _still_ hadn't returned. The baby ended up being taken to the hospital while everyone waited for the mom to return. After another ten or so minutes, to our surprise both the mom _and_ the dad returned to the car, then started screaming because the _window_ was broken. They were more concerned about the window than their son.
Damn...I would've chewed the shit out of those sorry excuses for parents...
I mean had you and your mom not found the child when you did, it could have literally been cooked alive and dead by the time the "parents" got back. And those absolute twats had the gall to scream because of a damned window??? Sheesh...some people just should NOT have kids...
@JayLeeBeanz
Unfortunately I don't know if they got him back, but I'm also hoping they didn't.
â@@lacko623
My mom wanted to chew them out, but the police advised against it. They didn't want the couple to know my mom was the one who broke the window, so they took her statement and said they'd call her if they needed more information. When the parents came back to their car, the whole crowd of people who'd gathered starting yelling at them and calling them horrible parents, all while the cops tried to keep everyone back because they didn't want a full blown fight to break out. By that point the baby was safe and my mom didn't want me in the middle of it, so we left. It took her a while to stop shaking, though. I remember looking over to her during our drive home and she was gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were white. I was only six or seven at the time, so I didn't really understand the implications of leaving a baby alone in a hot car for too long, but while my mom was rocking him I brushed his head to comfort him and it felt like touching a sunburn you couldn't see. That'll be forever etched into my memory.
@@kirikakirikakirika the cops should've let your mom take a free shot at the woman; that would've helped with her shakes.
And yet again a sorry excuse for humans that should never have been allowed to reproduce, let alone be parents.
Reasons to not leave your kid in the car:
1.) People can, will, and have taken kids from cars
2.) People dont make sure a car is empty to steal cars
3.) Its illegal and the mother will be charged with child neglect/endangerment
4.) Extreme tempratures cars can get to due to outside weather
I live in a town, years ago, when it was way smaller, a woman went to the health center (we didn't have an hospital back then). She was going to pick up some meds, which should have taken her 5 minutes Max, but she had a stroke. She woke up 2 days later in the hospital (in another town 30 minutes away) and after a few seconds she panicked and started asking about her baby. She had left a 3-4 month old baby in her locked car, under the sun, in a barely used parking between the back side of the health center and a farm where pretty much only staff parked.
The only reason the baby didn't die was because, not long after, a security guard heard a weird noise while on his way home, approached the car and saw the baby crying.
If I remember it right, the husband got a divorce and 100% custody and supervised visitation for the mother, which back then was unheard of.
In that third story: the OP should cut her mom out of her life. She sounds like a total narcissist who says âI created you so I deserve to be rewarded for thatâ. Being able to have a roof over your head and food on the table should be a given to ANY child. You donât deserve a reward simply for giving your child human needs. And she acts like she doesnât exist which I think is a good thing. She should just leave her family behind if they donât care about her and are going to cater to her awful awful mother. And I think the worse part is that sheâs been doing this ever since her kids were young so theyâve been brainwashed and have become numb to their narcissistic mother and think itâs a normal thing when itâs not. They deserve to find out the truth and will eventually stand by their sibling and leave with her.
Parents who lord over their kids bc they graciously gave them a roof and food. Congratulations, you did the bare minimum required of a parent.
She's really just milking her children. Demanding a gift is already terribly wrong in of itself, but a 300$ gift from a 16-year old at that? No! Stop!
These parents need to remember that it was _their_ wish (or deliberate gamble) to give birth to their children, *not* their children's wish to be born. We can't even tell if parents did their children a favor by making them. Just because we all have a survival instinct and most of us view life overall positive doesn't mean that non-existance isn't actually better. None of the living know what it's like not to...
I think I read an update that op did in fact cut all contact with the mom and anyone calling them an AH
I am a mom of 3 daughters. To me this mother and the family is batshit crazy. I would never even think about celebrating myself on my child's birthday. I have mothers day. The OP is definitely not in the wrong, honestly I would love to speak to this mother to find out why she thinks this is acceptable behavior. I am shocked đČ
As Rslash said, there is a day for momâs Motherâs Day! Iâm so glad I have wonderful loving parents. They always made sure all three of us kids felt loved, wanted, and in fact needed in our family! Always made birthdays special for all of us. And we always make sure there birthdayâs are special and that fatherâs and Motherâs Day where special too.
First Story: NTA, OP was teaching the wife a lesson as she needs to learn. Girl it is NOT ok to leave a infant in a car on its own, especially if its a hot summer days that can kill them and ppl kidnap kids almost everyday and she thinks she's owned an apology? This wife needs a HUGE wake up call.
At the least, have a car where you can leave the engine running with AC on and lock the doors.
The scariest part is at 24 hours the chance of the kid never being found increases, especially him being an infant. Which makes this even more scary for the husband and child. Then she breaks a promise she said she wouldn't and blames him for it? She's lucky her kid didn't get stolen.
Yep! It's not even just abduction, or possible heat stroke either. Surely everyone has seen CCTV footage of someone who accidentally hits the gas rather than braking, and they smash in to a parked car? Or what if the baby found something small in the car like a button, and choked on it? What if a fire broke out at the gas station? What if the mother had a medical emergency and passed out, was taken to the hospital, and was incapable of informing paramedics that they need to go get her baby? The baby could be in the car for HOURS.
This is giving me massive red flags and I would question when else she feels like it's ok to leave her infant unattended. For example, if she's giving them a bath and the door bell rings, would she go and answer it?
Gotta love her self-centered unreflected sexism, too:
_"No mother should ever experience that fear, but ignoring the father's fear about the exact same thing is A-OK."_ đ€Ą
Because fathers don't get emotional over the loss of their kids, or what?!!
@@LRM12o8 So true
That mom that sided with her boyfriend to punish the baby sitting kid. How is it that even with the mom telling the story, the kid sounds more mature than either of them?
Oh my
The mother calling her daughter a narcissist is total gaslighting
Regarding the blindfold story, oh yeah he's up to something. If it's no big deal, then he should be showing the papers. If it's a trust issue, then he should show the papers.
Exactly, if he thinks she's accusing him of being distrusting, then he should prove that she can trust him. By skating around the issue and throwing accusations at her and calling her distrusting, he's proving that he's not trustworthy.
You don't win an argument by arguing, you win it by proving there's nothing to argue about.
I surprised she didn't "agree" only to stop and lift the blind fold. He can't hold on the papers and the blind fold at the same time.
Or make her new signature "Under Duress"
@@ericwilliams1659 same. Actually Iâd go one further and not even sign my name. Write âduckâ or something dumb on the paper. Itâs super disrespectful of him to gaslight her afterwards and try to make this her fault. Thereâs no 2 ways about it youâre being sus.
Heâs definitely up to something
Part of earning trust is not trying to get someone to sign papers while blindfolded. Papers can be fucking dangerous.
This. My husband wouldnât ever want me to sign papers while blindfolded. And he would probably scold me if I ever signed the bottom of a blank sheet of paper.
She needs to do the game and instead of signing her name, sign âIâm blindfoldedâ and see what his reaction is.
Could be refi papers, or loan papers for a new home he's trying to surprise her with. Just a thought.
Also, he wouldn't let her see it afterwards, even though he gave the excuse that it was to see if she could do it the same.
I wouldnât do it
When my ex had custody of my daughter i used to pick her up every sunday. Her mom was always sleeping in. My 4 year old kid would basically be unsupervised till the afternoon. One day i came to pick her up. I knocked and my daughter opened the door. I stepped in and her friend was asleep on the couch in the living room. She was in bed in her room. I wasn't quiet. I went and gather my daughters things and we left. 2 hours later i get a call asking if i have the baby. So of course i answer "what do you mean, i overslept and haven't come to get her yet." She freaks out and hangs up. I call her about 5 mins later and ask if she's been found?.
When i finnally told her i had her she was pissed. Alot of "how could you be that cruel?" I didn't feel bad at all. She deserved that. She was so out of it even though i was talking in a normal volume she didn't wake up. Screw that. Better it be the way he did that than it halpening for real.
Update on the first story.
Update on this situation: I sat my wife down this morning and did apologize for the way I went about things but said I was not sorry for caring about our sonâs safety and in the moment felt like she needed a huge wake up call. She apologized for lying and continuing to do this unsafe practice.
I asked her why she seems so casual about what she is doing, most parents I know (myself included) are on the paranoid side when it comes to their kids, and she has been doing this for so long without seeing an issue. I asked if she thinks sheâs dealing with some kind of postpartum mental health issue as I donât consider this normal, she broke down crying saying she doesnât know whatâs wrong with her.
She has agreed to seek counseling and until there is a major change/improvement I will be running all errands with my son or we will be doing them together, but I told her I cannot trust her anymore to take him places by herself.
that's good that she's getting help and that she won't be able to do this anymore
I am confident that the last OP and her boyfriend are doing way worse things to her son besides what is being stated in the story. What they say they did to him was borderline abusive
I will be honest: if I asked my oldest child to babysit the younger one(s) I would make sure to pay them for that. Siblings are not each others responsibility, watching them is not just a household chore. And expecting your child to skip a day of work for this just so BOTH adults can go to the hospital when it is clearly NOT a life threatening situation to the 12 year old?
Sometimes the idea of a parenting license really sounds very appealing ...
@@Celediev Thats not sometimes its all the time, it should be real.
@@QuayHollywood honestly that would be better anyway
Might solve overpopulation in some countries because most of the time the stupidest parents are ye ones that have like 20 children with more on the way
No kidding. Nothing about that was the kidâs fault or responsibility, not to mention they made him stay home from work, so yeah, they cost him money! They do owe him!
@@Celediev my mom always made sure to show appreciation whenever I had to watch my sister. If she couldnât pay me with money, sheâd pay me with privileges or special meals. And if I wanted to do something or go somewhere with friends when she had to work, she would make other arrangements for my sister. It was never an obligation, it was an arrangement that worked for both of us.
"Praise the birthgiver!"
Serious note though: I'd hold out on giving the extended family a butthole score until OP tells them their side and hears their reaction, it's possible the mom was just gaslighting the OP to the relatives for sympathy.
Agreed. I always see this as a possibility seeing as how we donât know what they were told. What a piece of work though. OP is apparently selfish but the mom has like 5 days of self recognition. Smh
Hard to imagine how she'd twist the story make OP genuinely look like the bad guy, but I was also in disbelief she'd have so many sycophants in her extended family, so good point!
@@xNETxEx how is OP selfish? She's upset her 16yo sister was coerced into buying a 300$ gift for her mother and she fought for her sister's sake!
@@LRM12o8 I though it was clear that I donât believe that OP is selfish when reading the entirety of my comment.
@@xNETxEx How so? You wrote "OP is apparently selfish", which I thought means you'd suspect they are in some way selfish.
Granted I'm not a native speaker, but I am C1 certified.
So, I'm really curios if I missed something, or did you mean to say sth like "OP might appear selfish to the relatives after what her mom told them"?
not trying to argue, just curious to learn ^^
People kidnap young children for very disgusting reasons. It doesn't matter if nothing has happened yet, the danger is that it COULD happen with her negligence.
OP is without a doubt NOT the asshole, leaving a child along in an unlocked car is absolutely not acceptable
NTA imagine the husband wasn't her husband and just stole the child. The reason he just took him so easily just proved the fact that she not a good wife or Mom.
Yeah, he's way too adamant about getting OP's signature. He was even trying to get MULTIPLE ones.
If he prints a contract over a signed blank paper, wouldn't this be considered forgery?
It would be hard to prove. Especially when the signature is hers.
@@brianaheisermann5918 and techinally anything is considered a signature. Like the mark of zorro is a legit signature
It would definitely be fraud, if he's benefiting from her thinking it's just a game.
In the last story, the first thought that popped into my head was: Oh look, a woman who'll have a surprised pikachu face when her son leaves her after turning 18 and never speaks to her again.
the kids aren't the son's responsibility at all, and the son acted way more mature than either of the adults here. He explained the reasoning for his request to be paid for his time like an adult, and the two ACTUAL adults responded by punishing him?
My parents always paid me whenever I had to watch my younger sibling when we were kids, even before I got my first teenage job. In this story it wasn't the son taking advantage of a situation to get paid, because he would have been paid either way because he had work that day, it was the parents taking advantage of a family member to avoid paying anyone for childcare.
Am I the only one who wants to drag the BF into the son's job and force him to tell the boss what happened?
The best course of action for him is to disable his parents with a sledgehammer so they cant stop his birthday
@@DrawciaGleam02 so you're saying that working for a stranger for a day is okay rather than helping out someone you should consider as a family, during a family emergency?
@@nostalgia3979 It wasn't a family emergency though. Like rslash said, one of them could have stayed with the kids or they could have taken the kids with them. An emergency would have been if the boyfriend had gotten hurt and OP needed to drive him to the hospital, then there wouldn't have been anyone to watch the kids. Not to mention OP's kid is right, he was missing work and therefore loosing money, it's not unreasonable to ask for compensation for that. If it really was an emergency or if it was the weekend and the kid had no plans to leave the house anyway that might have been different but cancelling work on such short notice looks bad and loosing pay never feels good. Watching younger siblings is NOT the older sibling's responsibility, it's always a favour to the parents and it's not unreasonable to expect something in return, it doesn't even have to be monetary! They could give permission for a later curfew or something though in this case money would have been more appropriate.
@@AW-wi1ep LMAO... watching your younger sibling isn't a responsibility??!! WHAT??!!... I'm guessing you either have no younger siblings or something else because if my younger stepbrother had FALLEN DOWN THE STAIRS I would have seen no problem missing a day of work and volunteering to watch my other stepsiblings while BOTH my mother and stepfather drive him to the hospital.
You have to realize that at the time they didn't know he only had a broken ankle. For all they know he was having internal bleeding in his head. They could have been in a panic and I asked the sixteen-year-old to watch his younger sibling while they drove him to the hospital to make sure he was alright.
And course after finding out he only had a broken ankle and coming home, this brat saw it fit to ask for money to babysit his stepsibling because what? They weren't his problem, and he needed to work? Jesus, he sounds as if he's going to grow up to be an a-hole
And to call falling down the stair, not an emergency, really?
And as for giving permission to curfew or that, giving a birthday present which the stepfather canceled isn't a sufficient compensation? But he needs to ask for money instead? Don't you realize that all the punishments the stepfather dish out was in line with the fact that he was taking back all the things he had given him and canceled his birthday where he would have bought him a gift?
I'm not saying that it's a fact but if look at it like that you'll realize why the stepfather was angry that he asked for money and why the mother sided with the stepfather
About the story with the mother stealing her childrenâs birthdays, I think the a-hole score for the relatives might be unfair. There is a decent chance they donât know what is really going on or are lied by her mother about the real situation.
Birthday girl.. next time your momâs birthday rolls around, get her something mediocre but give your grandma something special and expensive.. seems like the family tradition.
It wasnât a prank, it was a lesson. And she needed it, sadly she doesnât seem to have learned from it.
Iâm surprised we made it to the top of the food chain
For the final story OP and her boyfriend literally punished their son after he did them a favor, I think they deserve a higher a hole score.
@JayLeeBeanz so glad Iâm not the only one that thought the scores should be higher. The bf sounds like he needs an ego check. Seems like heâs trying to maintain his status as âman of the house.â OP is just a bad mother.
imagine being so loud yet so wrong. the boyfriend didnt do anything wrong. the kid is just like the family from the birthday story
@@Rainspector I donât really see any similarities. Maybe you can argue that he shouldnât get paid for every emergency but that hits a dead end pretty quickly.
@@xNETxEx in this case the son had to miss out on work, making him lose money. If he was free at the time you could argue he didn't need to be paid, but in this scenario he should have.
@@disbade787 case and point. This was the exact conclusion I came to.
My mum used me for free babysitting my entire childhood.
It started off with a "emergency situation", then next time it was because she was "in a tight spot", following that it was because "it makes sense since you're more available than me that day" and then it devolved to "well if you're busy you should cancel your plans, you're the older sister it's your responsibility".
It's a slippery slope expecting free child labour in any circumstances and it's what leads to a lot of kids unwittingly becoming "young carers" and loosing their own childhood to child rearing.
This is a valid point that isn't covered in the video, and it's one that's well worth making. Thank you for sharing.
That son wasn't using the family emergency to his advantage. He was breaking even. He just wanted money to compensate for what he lost. He is gaining nothing from this, he just wants to also LOSE nothing.
Not to mention, he actually babysat. He was punished merely for asking to be cornsated for his lost work.
Last story... the second she said "I sided with my boyfriend..." I was like NOPE! Nope nope nope! YTA!!
Taking away his birthday and grounding him for forcing him to skip work? Yeah what the fuck?
For the Mom and the birthday story, I wonder what she would do if, on the mother's birthday, you primarily celebrated the grandmother. By the mothers own logic, you celebrate the mother, not the child. So on the moms birthday, you all should celebrate her mother.
R/maliciouscompliance
The grandmother may be where she learned that behavior from.
@@scortisoaracoleman3261 OP comments that mom does not carry this tradition forth to grandmother. Grandma gets nothing, because having grandchildren is a lifelong gift in itself. (Mom's paraphrased words.)
I disagree. I think mom should buy lavish gifts for all her children on mother's day to thank them for making her a mother. Without them, her motherhood status wouldn't exist, right?
if someone tried to get me sign something while blindfolded I would've used my pen across the whole page and said lol I messed up teehee.. lmao
âHe can give the money to his ex-wife, his girlfriend, charity, a stranger on the street, or even the *drunk driver that killed your son* â
WTF MAN THATS UNNECESSARY AND SHITTY SERIOUSLY WTF
That last story really pissed me off. That is an extremely toxic environment and that mother clearly does love the step siblings more than her son.
Or she expects the son she raised and paid for with help from her boyfriend to help in an emergency without need for compensation.
I got to be honest, people seem to be looking at this like the kid is an adult who takes care of himself. He doesn't. He eats their food, uses thier electricity, rides in their cars, gets birthdays and Christmas gifts.... But no. Apparently a day of work is more important than a child being in the hospital, in pain, and afraid, wanting both parents there. So he should be able to expect payment.
Yeah, I would then start asking for rent and for him to help with 1/6 of all bills on anything he uses. Internet, phone, food, electricity, anything.
@@gibblets17 the kids twelve years old with a twisted ankle, he wasn't dying and both parents didn't need to be there, this wasn't a life threatening situation. And secondly, it very much sounds like they haven't been together for a long time, so it's completely unfair to force her son to take care of someone else's children without compensation. She even went a step further and allowed her boyfriend to take away all his electronics and cancel his birthday, for asking to be compensated for lost wages.
@@gibblets17 I agree with you. I understand how it can be frustrating to lose a day's worth of payment, but unless the mom omitted the information, it sounds like the son is still living there rent-free, without paying any bills. All the money he's making he gets to keep, so it's not much to ask for your son to stay home to help with a family emergency.
We also need to take into account the way the son asked for "payment." If he really just stood there with a huge attitude and DEMANDED, not asked, but DEMANDED payment, I can 100% understand why that would piss the boyfriend off. And honestly, I would bet that the attitude is more of the reason the boyfriend took away the electronics/canceled the birthday.
There's also a good chance that this isn't the first time the son has had a bad attitude towards the boyfriend. This might have just been final straw for him.
Without more information or details I'll have to side with the mom and the boyfriend on this one. I expect to be torn apart for having an unpopular opinion but whateves đ€·ââïž
@@StarsTonite451 Saying it sounds like that is you adding information that isn't there...kinda ironic
That and those AREN'T his step siblings
This is BS
@@gibblets17 the boyfriend didn't help raise the son from what it seems, the boyfriend only recently entered the picture
(Edited for clarity)
Selfish mom: since she couldn't be a mother without her kids, does that mean she has to buy the kids presents on mother's day? Being forced to buy mom a presen on ur birthday is the most ludicrous tradition I've ever heard of.
She probably expects them to buy her gifts to, because "I'm YoU'rE MoThEr," jeez what a selfish woman
@@upcastthunder35 so, u think the kids should buy their mother a present on their (the kids) birthday?
Only because they are being forced. I had a GF in highschool that had a similar familly tradition. On your birth day you give something to your parents that was made by you (like a card or a bracelet). I found it really cute TBH.
@@VRDejaVu that handmade gift tradition is super sweet! Making a card or a bracelet is all about time and affection, not shelling out $300 for a necklace!
@@raidernation7427 what are you talking about, I'm saying the mother is selfish enough that she also expects the kids to buy gifts for her on mothers day as well?
So thereâs never been a kidnapping happen in my family but there has been a prolific car theft. My uncle lived in a very poor, rundown area in Edinburgh, a lot of crime in the area but itâs all he and his wife could afford, and most importantly to this story, they lived within 30 metres of a police station, as in they were right across a small lane from them and the police parked their cars outside my uncles flat.
His car got smashed and broken into, they didnât have working cameras at the police station as it was an underfunded station, they were lucky to have a working building, but none of the cops heard the car windows get smashed. They eventually took a statement and told my uncle
âSo we know who smashed into your car to rob itâ
So my uncle replied
âOh great, but who stole it?â
Thatâs right, his car got stolen a few days later from outside the police station, the car the cops knew had recently been smashed into and robbed, and they hadnât even noticed it had been stolen.
Itâs so easy to steal a car, you can literally do it in front of a police station FFS. Now imagine thatâs a kid in the car? The kid wouldâve had no chance of early intervention from the cops.
4:30 Dabney saying that OP's wife is "fractally" wrong. đ€Ł
Related story: A couple was fishing in a small creek, they left their car unlocked nearby. A man stole the car, but as he drove away he noticed a sleeping infant in the back. He drove the car back to the couple, both still fishing, and gave them a long lecture about the dangers of leaving their child in the car. So...a car thief knows better than the mother in the first story.
He may be a car thief, but he has standards.
That's a good man. He may have done something wrong. But he has a moral compass that's stronger than the parents.
â You are bad guy, but this does not mean you are bad guy. â - Zangief ( 2012 )
*Sniper voice* "Professionals have _standards_ ."
Story 2: chick got 10k, there is no âshe canât afford to find a homeâ. She was with him for 2 years, thatâs a hell of a pay out. Op and hubby didnât divorce and fall out of love, their son died and it broke them down, heck yeah he thought of his wife in his will. He treated things very fairly in his will and GF will have to live with it. Hard pill to swallow maybe but if she wasnât in it for the money then she should be content and understand. Itâs not much different from dating someone whose SO had died, where they didnât break up, someone died.
I was kind of thinking the same thing. It's stated in the story that she doesn't work. Why is that? Was she expecting to get everything from him?
Yeah, completely true. Also, didnât she ask for the whole inheritance? That instantly gives her a butt hole score.
That (opportunistic) gold digger is a 5/5 a-hole already for blaming OP for "not being there for her husband". The same could be said about the husband, but likely neither way is true, because saying they couldn't be there for each other implies that they did try but it didn't work out, hence they separated.
And it's not her freaking business anyway!
This absolutely trumps the audacity of demanding the full heritance instead of respecting the husband's will, which alone would've given her a solid scare.
EDIT: also, yeah good point. With 10k in the bank, you should be able to find an affordable place to live, even if you have no job rn. With _that_ kind of financial cushion, it should not be a problem to find a job that sustains you, before the money runs out!
Add on the fact they were married for over 16 years vs. a girlfriend of 2 years
I get what you're saying, and I agree with the sentiment, but honestly 10k probably wouldn't get her a home, not without a job anyway. Most places require proof of income. Not saying the ex-wife owes the girlfriend money or anything, I just hope she gives her enough time to find a job and a place to live before selling the house.
âI sided with my boyfriend because I really did not appreciate my son using this family emergency to his advantageâ?? UHH- The âADVANTAGE â of MISSING A PAID DAY AT WORK?? They forced HIM to miss work, then cancelled HIS birthday for expecting compensation for OPâs time.. Also the punishment is unrelated/ months in advance regarding the situation!? This is manipulative, selfish, and a power trip from the âstepdadâ. Seems abusive. Iâd go no contact if I were in OPâs situation. They expect him to drop everything at the drop of a pin, no matter the risk of OP getting disciplined, or or even fired for missing work. The Stepdad sounds like a loser, and OPâs mom is blinded by the stability or feelings from this relationship. Sheâs willing to shove her son to the side and throw away her relationship with him the minute a man comes along? Sorry, they are both the AHâs.
happy to see a ton of people agree that the husband did the right thing and know that leaving babies in cars alone for even a while is never okay. the danger is always there and you dont want to be the unfortunate person losing their child in this kind of scenario.
Second story: girlfriend has $10k, which should be enough for her to stay afloat until she gets a job, isn't it?
I don't know, I get the feeling that she was using OP's ex as a sugar daddy, taking advantage of his grief to get to him and his money. The fact that she was jobless and living in his house up until that point, and that she resorted to guilt-tripping OP to get the rest of the inheritance, which is outright disgusting, makes it very suspicious.
If the girlfriend hadn't had a job in a while and didn't have up-to-date, marketable skills, it could take her a long time to find a job that paid her enough where she was able to financially support herself. And just because the ex was financially supporting her, doesn't automatically mean she was taking advantage of him. Couples have all sorts of arrangements and we (the readers) have no reason to think that he didn't willfully agree to this one.
10k is enough to survive for several months. She is mad that her free ride is over.
Didnât OP say that he updated his will 1 year ago? That means they were dating for at least a year and he still wanted to give it to the ex wife. They canât have been living together for that long. Like the math is saying that they havenât been that serious for that long
That last story is a pretty good example of how to pull off a "in the future when my kid moves out, I don't think they'll want to have any form of communication with me."
Not only did they not compensate op's son for his time, which he could've used for his work and making money for the future, they decide to instead PUNISH op's son for asking for money? Not to mention, the boyfriend TOLD op's son to skip the day at work, which he really has no authority to do whatsoever. If the guy decided not to skip that work day, it's fair to assume the boyfriend would've punished him for not skipping work. That seems like a person who is EXTREMELY entitled, considering the kids aren't even related to op. So yeah, her son r5eally isn't ta, but saving up money to move out as quickly as possible seems like a GREAT idea if not even his mother would stand up for him.
I thought OP was the mom đïž
who is op in this story? It's not the kid it's the mother
I just further realized I'm stupid đ
Yes, op is the mom
OMG! I honestly cannot believe my ears with the 1st story.
Especially considering the fact that where I live just recently a mother left her 4 month old son in her car for just a second just like OPs wife was doing and some nut jumped in her car and stole it WITH the baby in it. Baby was later found dumped a few suburbs away. Car thief didnât even care enough to anonymously call the local authorities to tell them where the baby was and this was a freezing cold, wet winterâs morning when this occurred.
Well done OP for teaching your wife a valuable lesson but now you know youâll need to be on your guard with her around the kid because you cannot trust her to keep the child safe.
That mom who steals her kids' birthdays is Eric Cartman levels of narcissistic, no "maybe" about it. Only a narcissist would demand they get presents for *someone else's* birthday, unless it's Christmas or a birthday they share with the other person.