What are the 16 Personalities' Love Languages?
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 8. 06. 2024
- Analyzing what the Love Languages the 16 Myers-Briggs Personalities may prefer.
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0:00 Intro
1:10 Gifts
3:37 Words of Affirmation
5:14 Acts of Service
6:30 Physical Touch
8:01 Quality Time
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*Hey Frank James*
đ€(have wondered.. if that's your _real_ Name? ~or is it a cover name.. for that you're an FJ.) âș I do Hope you'll Respond here ~cuz.. that'll make me Happy!đ
I take it you've read the book now? *The 5 Love Languages* ~GREAT, Enlightening information huh!:D I read it back in 2012 +have never forgot it. Have mentioned it to many others over the years too, ^ ^* to help pass on a better future & understanding =] for their interpersonal relationships. Once you Learn _these_ ..âșyou can start to guess:D & See ~which ones someone's is. âșwhat their Primary, & then their Secondary 'Love Language' is. For example, Hah; after reading this book! _~I finally figured out my Parents!_
But then, when you THINK about it; dont ya feel bad For _all the individuals!_ Going back, like All the Generations before us! having a hard time, hittin a wall in inter-personal relationships ~Because _THIS HAD'NT BEEN FIGURED OUT YET!_ ...poor things.
so Yeah=D I am an INTJ
& my Primary 'Love Language' is
Words of Affirmation~*
& my close runner-up 'Secondary' _is_ (Drumroll.......!) ( ; Gifts!
So âșHow about you Frank James
(and Is that your real Name) What is _your_ Love Languages?
Do you think mine ~fit into (what you thought) for my being an INTJ? ~~~ And does _your?_ Primary & Secondary ~fit what _your_ personality type is?
~and you know I'll appreciate a good Response! ^ ^*
You are definitely an Infj.. a good one 2.. đ
AUTHENTICITY is what is important. The language doesn't matter. I'm an ENFP đ€
Whats YOUR personality type?
As an INFJ, I feel that there are two types of love language: the love language one receives from others, and the love language one gives to others. Although all of the love languages have their time and place in my interactions, words of affirmation is the love language I most prefer to receive, and a gift (especially one that takes thought and creativity) is the love language I most prefer to give.
yeah, same here. i prefer to give gifts and that is my number one love language to give, but to receive i prefer quality time (talking deep stuff or just silence).
This is exactly what I was going to say! I truly love to give a thoughtful gift, but don't care if I get one...tho it's nice if I do, I much prefer just hanging out.
Mood.
I just naturally use different love languages for different people. I don't really know what it is, maybe I'm subconciously picking up on what they prefer to receive.
I don't do gifts or acts of service too often though. Gifts I probably do the least. I draw my friends things, but I don't really have that much money.
I just like learning things with the people I love and really getting deep into others' minds.
I'm an ENFJ.
@@flutenanyidk1806 Heads up, your drawings are gifts. Gifts don't require money at all. I've gotten an acorn as a gift, from a walk and a special memory. The sentimentality attached to it makes it worth way more than something purchased with money.
3:24 I like when CZcams doesnât show an ad and I am just briefly staring at Frank before he thanks me for sitting through it. Itâs awkwardly funny.
yeah ahahahah
Haha me too đ
lol same hahahaha
I honestly expected one to pop up a few seconds after he did that.
He paused and the ad that came up- he was the spokesperson đđ kinda funky yt
I think all INFP can agree, we all love words of affirmation. We're overthinkers when it comes to our feeling and what other people think is important, therefore we like it when people give us compliment. We doubt ourself a lot, so we need people to tell us we're doing great
Yes but I overthink the compliment and donât believe them but if say I said something bad about myself and was kind of laughing and they laugh too I overthink it and think that they agree. So basically damned if you do, damned if you donât
Yeah I totally agree, as an INFP I always overthink and start doubting myself, thinking stuff like "oh they probably don't want me here" so words of affirmation is very comforting and reassuring
So funny that earlier today, me and my friends were discussing about our love languages (before watching this video), and I said that mine is words of affirmation. And then I saw this video and just confirms it for me as an INFP.
As an INFP I can confirm it's true. Very true
@@Grace-td5dd youâre being too definitive I could literally feel that now ima cry
As an INTP, I can confirm I absolutely hate words of affirmation and I especially hate responding. Like "cool, that's how you feel." Personally, I prefer physical touch because it's a tangible thing that shows appreciation and it's not something I feel forced to respond to, I can just appreciate and enjoy it.
bro same. i have an infp friend who i feel like is too affectionate. she chats me like she's my girlfriend or something. and it's really getting annoying and cringy for me. maybe it's cuz i didnt grow up with that kind of thing but i really just prefer the subtle ones, like quality time or something - intp
I am the opposite. I know I am an ISTP but I HATE physical touch. I prefer acts of service or quality time.
Fellow INTP here. I feel the exact same way as you. Words of affirmation just makes me feel so awkward. I usually just give a thumbs up and say thanks. Physical touch for me is the most direct way to show your appreciation and affection. đđœ
Well most intps hate being hugged ect so idk about that
Anime fanatic, I totally get what you're saying. I absolutely hate being hugged or people even trying to give me a high five. But if it's someone I care about communicating to me that they are there for me and love me, then it becomes something that feels safe and meaningful as opposed to vulnerable, invasive, and awkward. So essentially, Im really relying on the "love" part of the phrase "love language", because it applies to people I feel safe around. Hope that clears up a bit of what I meant :)
The 5 Love Languages (as applied to đź ):
Words of Affirmation: your tacos are delicious.
Acts of Service: I made you tacos. Receiving Gifts: Here's a taco.
Quality Time: Let's go out for tacos together.
Physical Touch: Let me hold you like a taco.
đź
My gosh, that's genius.
Let's call them "The 5 Taco Languages".
@@greatwavefan397 I thought it was clever but I didnât make it up!đ
That was really helpful!! Thank you!
PLS I read the last one as âlet me hold your tacoâ đđ
Words of affirmation:
"You look delicious,
Oh, I mean gorgeous"
As an INTJ, gifts are weird and I definitely don't want to feel like I owe someone a gift in reciprocation. However, if it is a useful gift then it will be appreciated, the problem is that if we need something that would be useful for us, we probably already got it for ourselves, hence why acts of service can be so great. However, food is always useful, so if you combine that with acts of service... basically, if you bake me a pie I will literally do anything for you.
As another INTJ, I agree that gifts are weird unless itâs food of some kind. I do prefer cake to pie, but almost any food will win my heart. I also feel the least weird reciprocating gifts of food as I love to bake
The only gifts that wonât be awkward for me to accept are probably pet food, money, or a free dinner.
@@crimson6849 And if they keep insisting I don't need to give them a gift. I"m an INTJ, too, and felt awkward when a guy I helped with school homework for a class, said he was going to buy me lunch. You guys made me realize that I would indeed feel guilty by him doing that when I helped him out (the class we had together was really hard, that I had to take it twice to pass it), I would probably have to do something for him back. It's like an endless cycle and I want him to save money, too.
@xraf32 no because we haven't met in person. And on zoom, my face doesn't show up. He volunteers and gets paid for a church, so I'm pretty sure he is being nice about that. Not to mention, he had to miss class and barely have time to turn in his homework because of his volunteer work he has. Don't know why they weren't flexible for him, knowing he has college classes.
Agree, itâs really hard to give an INTJ a gift. Our natural optimisation means we probably already have what we wanted, unless the INTJ purposely doesnât supply certain categories of things specifically to give loved ones the opportunity to express their love language. HOWEVER, if youâre one of those magical people whose powers of observation lead you to divine things that improve our life but we didnât think of, you will be immediately prized over all others and we might also marry you haha
As an INFP not only does receiving a bad gift make me feel awkward, it also makes me really sad. I start thinking about the resources used to make the thing and the money the giver spent on the thing and I just get so sad about not liking the gift and having no use for it. I also get anxious about owning something I don't use but I can't sell or regift the gift either.
OMG LEGITTT and then i feel too bad to throw it out so it just sits in one of my drawers or cupboards and then feel a pang of guilt whenever i see them đ
I feel the same. I have a wishlist with all the things I want but wouldn't probably buy for myself. With a link on every exact item and with explanations why I need exactly that. My family doesnât like it at all, they say my wishlist is boring, âwho would give a needle plate for a sewing machine for a birthday gift, here, better have some home decorationsâ
@@ilaeoa appreciate the gift list myself
Omg yes and I've always wondered why only I have seemed to feel like that
Same, it's not that it's just simply sad, it also makes us hope that atleast it's something personal and meaningful.
Yes, we INFPs are uncomfortable when people do stuff for us; but that doesnât mean we donât REALLY APPRECIATE IT :â)
As a fellow INFP, YES
Can say, same applies to INFJ
Same lol
I like it when I don't need to ask it
When I ask it, it loses all it's value...
This is an Awesome distinction!!! and VERY True!!!
As an INFJ I heavily value one-on-one deep conversations about feelings. If I am able to be my true self around you and open up to you without fearing to be judged or rejected, I feel at home and at peace. It's the most beautiful gift anyone could give me!
Yes! Same here! :)
As an infj, absolutely. Me being able to feel safe and comfortable in all my weirdness and randomness is very rare and very special. It doesn't happen with many people. AND to be able to learn about the other person, how their mind works, what they think and why and how oh gosh it's the coolest thing ever
agreed!
@J. T. Same here, and i too prefer one on one deep conversations. Its what's common between INFJs and ENFPs
I agree
Frank: Says that ENFPs (Me) and ENTPs (Dad) hate Physical Touch.
Also Frank: ISTPs love physical touch (Brother).
Me: 'That can't be true because I love hugs and so does my dad, but if you touch my brother he'll go into the woods for hours to recover from that assault.'
Every ENFP and INFP (myself included) I've met loves hugs. We're all so touchy-feely I thought it was universal, so it's funny this is a stereotype
I also know an ISTP who values physical touch. But may not from strangers. Whereas I would wear a free hugs shirt
ENFP here, I have to hold myself back from huggingđ€
@@dreamingblue3939 exactly
Yess I was so confused cause the stereotype of ENFP is hugs đđđ and as an ENFP w physical touch as my main receiving love language, this stereotype is true
I am an ISTP.
1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Physical Touch
4. Gifts
5. Words of Affirmation
Most of the time this is how I rank them but certain people have exceptions. For example physical touch tanks higher with my kids than with adults in my family.
alr bbg i got it all noted
same đ
Why do ISTP's feel the need to front with their emotions. You guys all say you don't value words of affirmation and then start balling out crying đ when your ENFP best friends dedicate a heart felt speech remembering all the good times praising you for all the ways you have helped us and made us laugh even when we were feeling depressed. You guys become a giant box of Kleenex. That being said ENFP's do a good job making everyone we love cry tears of joy. My ISTP friend's honestly hate itđ. I have told all of them that I won't be satisfied until I make or see all of them cry at least once đ. All of them reluctantly end up crying. Nothing make me happier than helping an ISTP bring out their aspirational ENFJ subconscious. Once that comes out getting them to cry sincere tears of joy isn't so difficult.
@@miamihurricane555 it's not really a matter of them being emotionless but being more comfortable keeping it to themselves. It feels uncomfortable for me to show any kind of emotion that makes me look vulnerable in front of others for many different reasons. But inside, ISTPs are quite caring of others
@@h6llxw66n Oh I know, you guys are my favorite to make friends with. Intelligent, Handy, Funny, Pranksters, Empathetic, Caring, Non judgemental, Loyal, Great Mentors and Listeners, BodyGuards.
I love how ENFJs are not in any "least likely to" List... We just love everything.. Show us any kind of love and we'll grab it and thank you for it for the rest of your lifeđ
Exactly đ
Lol that's so true
Exactly đđŒ
I'm an INFJ and I love intelligence. If you can have worldly, scientific and psychological conversations, you have my full undivided attention.
Same here. An INTJ
Yee agree Intj
Same for me i am an intp
infp here and yess i absolutely agree
Same haha. INFJ
"Something mundane... like hitting the like button" got me, I'm not gonna lie. I actually stopped what I was doing (the vid has been playing in the background while I clean the house) to press the button. Well played, FJ. đđŒ
Same! Have a good Sunday cleaning (in this world zone is Sunday đ)
@@MsAnthropoLogic Thanks, friend! âșïž It's Sunday where I am, too. Hope your cleaning goes well!
wtf how he tricked everyone with this? I actually did the same!
@@comradeyoshinski1963 hahaha I donât know but now we all have clean and shiny houses đ„°
As an INTJ I hate receiving gifts, but itâs one of my favorite ways to show affection.
I really enjoy analyzing and thinking about what someone would appreciate and I think itâs amazing and super rewarding when you give someone a gift that they love. It also shows that you were thinking about the person even when they werenât around.
Iâll also say that I think of an act of service as a gift, so I wonder if there are other people who feel the same way. That could be a reason that the poll was so skewed away from gift giving.
I like giving gifts, but I don't really want any because I have everything I need or want enough
I enjoy having the "crown" of best gift giver in the family, but my God, I don't understand why PLEASE JUST GIVE ME GIFT CARDS is so hard for everyone to follow.đ«
I completely agree. I bought my best friend a (thoughtful, I'm assuming) gift, I thought long and hard about it, things he'd use for everyday life for Christmas, when I told him I dropped it off at his place he told me he'd buy me something back. I begged him not to because I absolutely hate receiving them (seemed like a gift exchange to me if he did). I just wanted to give him something to show how much our friendship means to me, and I didn't want him to worry about getting anything back. In fact, I had already gotten the gift a week before, and dropped it off a day before so his chances of getting me anything would decrease since the holidays would pass the day right after. That was my logic, haha. Anyway, he didn't thankfully and I'm glad he uses it daily
~From an INFJ
ABSOLUTELY
I am SUCH a good gift giver, so I always tend to feel like whatever I receive is less valuable and thoughtless in comparison
money though⊠give me cash as a gift any day $$$ đ€
Omg is so cool to find people that are basically like međ
âIf you give a TJ a useful giftâŠthat mightâŠwin them overâ đđđœ my husband is ESTJ and his dad is INTJ and boyâŠtheyâre outwardly unimpressed by even the most thoughtful of presents. INTJ comes around and realizes itâs handiness and begins to love it over time. ESTJ disregards it completely until it comes in handy and then their mind is blown someone couldâve ever intuited their needs like that and gotten them something so cool.
Both reactions are sloooow if ever đ
I bought an entj a blown glass pendant and oh my, I've never been so politely rejected đŹ the only gift you can buy him is a giftcard for gas/food or a gadget I can't afford..
Iâm an ENTJ and Iâve never felt more called outđ . Gifts are just⊠weird. Itâs awkward to reject themâŠ
ENTJ here. I have a stack of unopened gifts stacked in my dining room from birthdays and xmases
Iâm an INTJ, and most of the time my family knows what I want based on what Iâm interested in. They donât really give me anything that I havenât said I wanted or that they know wonât be useful to me because they know what would happen if they did.
ENTJ here and I hate gifts. Stupid, pointless custom. Every year I tell everyone NOT no get me gifts or directly just tell them what I need. My mom was incredibly offended when I told her we needed a new fitted sheet and I was too busy to go buy one, like ok you asked me what I want for my birthday and I said nothing 17 times, so go run this errand for me? And then people expect you to buy gifts for them and if you suggest "hey how about we just quit with the gift giving completely and never do it again?" everybody gets all upset like I said something mean. *Sigh*
What is even the point here? Keeping the economy afloat? Total waste of time.
Being rejected by humans is ok but being rejected by Animals ,,,, is just not OK đą đ
Sensing an INFP, I guess?
@@TWEEKR Nope iam an INFJ-T đ
Agreed :( -INFP
I'm an intj and dogs bark at me... like dk Why??
@@maple5994 Ikr. Kids and animals just don't like me đą ~ INTP
INTJ here. Receiving gifts is always stressful for me. Most of the stuff is absolutely useless. People usually donât understand what I like and what I need. So I prefer to buy things by myself! But if someone buys a really thoughtful gift for me, Iâll love them forever!
Same! Extra stuff I dont want or need also stresses me tf out. And I feel somewhat guilty because I don't like 99% of stuff.
Same. Also I hate clutter!! I donât need more things and know what i like/use. Exhibit A: clothing that i didnt say i wanted and scented lotions.
I'm dating an jntj who is like this and it makes Christmas and birthdays super stressful lok
@@ChristinaT2208 đ Most INTJs will appreciate if you ask them what to buy for them, because we are not so much into surprises. But could be that they say: âDonât buy me anything!â And they mean it. Then I would recommend to go out together, do something special and you pay for it.
Yes Just get me a gift card.
I'm an INFJ, and my love language is physical interaction. Like hugging, kissing, etc. I have trouble expressing emotions(alexithymia), so I just like hugging people to show them my love.
It's also the love language I prefer to receive as well.
Honestly I don't know why I felt the need to share this, but thanks for reading.
Thanks for sharing
I'm INFP and my love languages in order are:
1) Quality Time
2) Acts of Service
3) Physical touch
4) Words of affirmation & Gifts (these two were tied)
He mentions that INFPs are the least likely to have acts of service as their top but I belive in actions over words so it's pretty up there for me.
Iâm INFP and I also share the belief in importance of actions, though I really put âacts of serviceâ at the lowest rank, because the thing âIâll do this, do that for youâ isnât making me happy, but words of affirmation⊠perfectly do :)
As an INFP my list is exactly the same as you
INFP Acts of Service is my first! Words of Affirmation is Next! Quality time is third! Gifts is 4th and touch is last
@@SkyFlame27 đtwins
I appreciate acts of service a lot because even though i get awkward when someone does something for me, it is most likely because i feel so happy that I'm like "omg you did something for me!!??" So half of the time, I just end up giggling and asking them the same question repeatedly lol
I only like words of affirmation if I feel like they are genuine or if someone complimented me on something that I am proud about :D I would rather have someone criticize me than give me fake compliments tbh
As an infp i confirm: i really dislike acts of service, because it makes me feel awkward. Like, my mom tries to clean my room when i am not at home? Whyyy, i am supposed to clean the whole house, not you.
My classmate opening the door for me? Why, i could do that myself and now i am going to walk behind, just to prevent that from happening again, because it's weird.
And so on. It's really difficult. Like, i do all of these things for others, but when they do it for me, i start to feel guilty or smth
Infj here. I can relate.
fellow INFP here and I totally can relate. I feel like a child when someone does things for me. Like they think I can't take care of it myself.
INFP as well, I always take from me to help others, I often put myself last in priority, so when someone does something for me, it really feels like I'm wasting their time, I can deal without their help, so why should they waste their time for me?
Quality time is probably my favorite, but MY kind of quality time, could be a conversation, could be an activity or whatever, but what most important in that is that none of us will hesitate to share
Thats a mirror.. you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
Same
my mom is an intj and she used to buy her own gifts and give them to my dad to give to her on special occasions because whenever he picked something out for her she was very bluntly disappointed X) "it's the thought that counts" did not apply
Sounds like my mom...but my mom is an ENFJ đ€Łđ€Ł pretty out of characterđ€Ł
Can totally relate.
- INTJ
Couldve just told what to buy, instead of going herself lmao
@@singuliarumas370 No, no, noâŠ. That could result in not getting the precise thing we want. Guaranteed that we have researched it to death before making a final choice! I always buy my own gift for birthday/holiday weeks in advance and then announce to my husband, âBTW, you bought me XXXX for my birthday. Thank you, I love it!â đ [I hate getting useless gifts that only take up space.]
Okay, same. My mom is intj and she does that đ đ đ
As an ENFP, my love language is physical touch. You have a good point with being disconnected, but for me personally physical touch helps me ground and connect myself to the real world.
That's so interesting bc for me it's 100% words of affirmation, then quality time, and then physical touch. I still love affection and physical touch, for sure, but it deffo doesn't rank as highly as reassurance and quality time. personally I value validation in the form of words/text sooooo much, it's crazy. physical touch helps and I love cuddles and comfort, but a kind text or "I love you" or a speech about the different things you like about me is next level in my book. Affection is grounding, for sure, and I really do love a good snuggle/kiss, etc, but omg, a thoughtfully worded letter or artwork or a long text message??? SWOON. But acts of service and gift giving definitely ranks last bc it makes me feel awkward and guilty since I'm not thoughtful or organized in that way so I feel like I'll never be able to reciprocate and will always fall short... Lol. ~Fellow ENFP(T)
ENFP here, absolute same!!
ENFP, and yes! I agree
Same for me! I looove physical touch (I'm infp btw)
@@frecklesandwine Exactly me
"They are more likely to pay attention to the givers feeling and the thought behind the gift rather than the gift itself" as an INFJ this couldn't be more true. Every little heart felt detail is enough
I'm handsome and talented
Exatamente isso. Aprecio o trabalho que a pessoa teve ao me dar o presente.
Funny, Iâm INFP and totally agree. đ
ISFJ here. Yep that's true to me. I wouldn't say my love language is gifts perse more quality time together etc but the thought behind the gift is certainly more important than the gift itself. For example my friend bought me a teapot lovely wrapped in sheer paper with little paper flowers and different kinds of tea. I only drink tea when i'm with her because it's cosy to do so with our lovely little teacups but for the rest i prefer cold beverages.She knows that for sure but I noticed how she put so much care in the wrapping. The little paper flowers and it stood for our time together. She put so much care into it all and that did warm my heart â€
As a ENFP, I like Physical Touch more than Frank realizes. ENFPs are like Golden Retrievers , we could handle getting pet from all angles. We will wag our tail all day if you gonna pet us.
Agreed.
absolutely
Also an ENFP and physical touch is by far my #1. I would think ISTJs would be the least likely to be a physical touch personally!
Yes!!! Iâm an enfp, and you explained this perfectly. Physical touch is by far my number one love language
Same bro I need my cuddles and hugs it helps my with my anxiety and sadness also Iâm showing the other person how much I care about them by being comfortable with touch
Funny, I'm an INFP and some time ago I took some test on this and I got "acts of service" as my prefered love language. Idk, am I weird? Also, I'm married with an ESTP since 11 years ago and he got "quality time" as his favorite language. đ
Maybe I got "acts of service" because I really like when he notices I'm struggling with something stupid like trying to open a bottle and he comes to my rescue, or when he does things for me that I don't want to do, like speak with customer service on the phone or things like that. But if I have to guess what are our second love languages, I'd say words of affirmation are important to me, and physical touch is important for him.
Yeah I don't know that his analysis was very accurate. Another INTP friend and I both got words of affirmation as one of our highest, and acts of service as one of our lowest. My two ISTP friends DESPISE hugs and my ISTJ dad has physical touch as his highest by far. Another ENFP I know hugs literally everyone he sees. In fact it'd be pretty accurate if he just said the exact opposite of what he said. xD
My mom is also an INFP and her second love language is acts of service.
Same here! I think it's because as INFP's we value sincerity and authenticity very highly, so we might be suspicious of other people simply saying how much we mean to them. (who hasn't heard that before) However, if they show it by actually acting in ways that reflect those affirmations we are much more likely to be positively affected imo.
@@dylangeorge5985 I think Frank's analysis isn't bad since he's just talking about probability. But it could have been better if he took in account the fact that most people actually have 2 dominant love languages, not just 1.
@@victorian_chandelier Yeah it's difficult to tell if there's any real-world correlation though even if it makes sense in theory. On the other hand, the correlation may run opposite to the "theory" because maybe personalities like being loved in ways that run counter to how they interact with the world. For example, a non-sensory person might appreciate a sensation like physical touch more than other love languages because that sort of thing is less common to them, and thus makes the display of love more special and unique.
As an ENTP I get on love language tests:
37% Words of Affirmation
27% Quality Time
20% Physical Touch
13% Acts of Service
3% Gifts
True same too I'm a entp
Same here, entp as well
same
I'm entp too but for some reason I hate words of affirmation D:
Yes! Also entp. Haven't tested but don't need to. Words of affirmation and quality are hands down what I need. And give.
ENFP -- Most Thoughtful Gift: Food, coffee, tea. Words of Affirmation: meh. Acts of Service: Genuine appreciation for you considering me. Physical Touch: I like when I'm in control. Quality Time: #1, conversation, quiet time in each other's company, shared experiences.
im an ENFP too... this is scarily similar đ
INFP who's love language is Quality Time.
If ya like sitting in the same room both doing our own thing in complete silence that doesn't feel awkward... I'm you're type of friend đ đ
THIS.
I've dated people who can't stand me playing video games or reading a book while they squirm around and can't figure out what to do with themselves.
@@docmars okayy, my bf plays games all night & I usually watch youtube/netflix on the couch. It doesn't feel awkward to us and besides the occasional 'hey babe, you want a drink/snack?' we just enjoy sweet, sweet silence đđ
This is the type of friend I need. -INFJ
I can absolutely relate to that!
Yes, as an INTP I love sitting in silence, thereâs just no need to talk when my brainâs keeping me perfectly entertained and I can think about things
I think the less popular love languages itâs because theyâre easier to fake and not be genuine. The more popular ones are harder to fake, it really costs you to do an act of service for example. The most expensive one is of course, time. Youâre literally giving portions of your life that cannot be replaced. time = real.
Another reason: gift giving can be really difficult and can easily backfire if you gift the wrong thing. Best outcome is that someone accepts it with a fake smile with the "at least you tried/appreciate the effort" mood and the worst case is that you get the feeling that someone doesn't know you at all. Acts of service or spending time with someone don't have these drawbacks.
I'm an INTJ and I hate getting gifts because I think so hard about gifts for others. I write down off-hand comments they say about something they want months before I have to get them anything, and I have so many backup ideas and all of them have to show that I know them well and appreciate them, so something that other people wouldn't even think of getting them. I hate getting gifts because I can tell that others don't put nearly as much thought into it as I do and I feel unappreciated no matter what it is.
for me (an INTP) the best way for someone to show their affection for me is, above all, to recognize and respect my desire to be alone and not be disturbed. but when im in the mood to interact with the person, i appreciate them wanting to spend time with me. i enjoy doing an activity together with the person where our attention is focused on something else rather than on each other, like watching movies or just being together in the same space doing our own thing, maybe with some physical contact (if we are intimate enough), like putting our legs on each others laps and stuff like that, but without much talk. i hate it when people try to please me by giving me gifts or when they do things for me without my asking. when someone shows their affection for me through words im a bit indifferent to it. these words have no impact on me, i feel like they mean nothing, but i know the person is trying to show they like me so i try to reciprocate with some kind words.
Same is with me
I am an INTP as well
Agreed
As an INFJ my most important love language is giving someone my undivided time and attention. I just want to be with and talk with the people I care about.
As INFP a lot of what makes me happy is making others happy. Quality time is probably the most important one for me because sometimes you never know when youâll stop seeing someone (there could be many factors for this). The other love languages seem like an extension of quality time, at least for me. The saying âYou donât realize how much someone means to you until theyâre goneâ rings true for me, and makes me realize that life is pretty short. Spending quality time with the few that I know tells me that they were also willing to share their own time with me, through whatever this life is. Something like that is irreplaceable
I guess I'm the only infp who agrees with you... they are all in the other comment saying its words of affirmation đ€·ââïž. I was like," these traitors"... I mean they really hurt my feelings.
as an infp i definitely agree
Same. Itâs very close between the two for me, but Quality Time came out as my type when I took the test.
I'm an INFP too and you're totally right
As an ENFP, I love physical touch so much though and it's my primary love language.
me too
Same especially hugging
Love quality time.
Especially when I can be with someone I love and am not *expected* to say a word.
-INFJ
Me, an ISTP when someone says something nice to me: _What are you up to? I donât trust you. You just need something from me._
Awwwwđ„ș
Ly Bo donât give me that look , youâre trying to manipulate me! (Jk)
the "i want you to fix my car" compliments.
Fr people with such words seems sus đż -INTP
@@dwightschrute4506 đđđ
Please do a video on INFJ's dating each personality type, or trying to. I NEED THIS FRANK!
Same here !!!!
Yoooo this would actually be dope. It would be even better if he made it a series. Each personality type dating each personality type
That would help a lot đ
Agree
Me too !
As an INFJ-A I feel physical touch is what I appreciate more cause it cuts away any confusion, it is really hard to fake a sincere hug, kiss, touch of the shoulder holding of the hand.
I'm usually good at catching it in words and time but realistically the over thinking/analysing that goes on in my brain can kill the effect of those acts
This!! Absolutely!!
I am familiar with the 5 Love Languages thing and I think there are more than just the 5 - I think some additional love languages are:
- feeling listened to and understood (being and feeling seen and heard)
- taking the time and consideration to understand the other person's perspective in things, how they see and experience things, something
- feeling and being "known" like they really "know" you and the various things about you
- shared sense of humor and or that you use humor as a love language
- shared sense of responsibility and ownership where everyone strives to take their part in situations in problem solving and trouble shooting and see how they can improve or contribute to the solution.
- shared goals, vision and mission and actively working toward that
- physical intimacy as connection
INTP girl here, my way of showing love is acts of service indeed and I hate touch, I'm not good with words and I don't trust them anyway lol "action speak louder than words" but at the same time I rather trust intentions.
Another Intp girl here! My way of showing love is physical touch and its just what i prefer the most also towards myself. It just goes to show that even if we are both intps, it doesn't mean that we will all like and do the same things and i like the breaking of stereotypes and diversity in that :)
@@Unluckq Very true. Another INTP here who prefers Acts Service over physical touch. In fact I got a zero on it when I took the test đ . Granted I am human and obviously dont completely hate it but if I am around people (and I have been) that are really touchy I am crying inside for sure.
I wonder what other INTP got đ€
@@jossieb93 0% wow! I got like 86%. Crazy to see how different people with the same personality types are :)
INTP here, I prefer acts of service because like you said âaction speak louder than words â so I totally agree with you on that one and Iâve never been comfortable enough with pyshical touch.
Intp here and I totally agree I perfer acts of service . :)
INTJ here for me it is Quality time.
Being in love would mean we could both just sit on the couch together we say nothing and mind our own business but we still feel content as hell.
As an infp may I just say this is very accurate. Especially if reading books is involved
And when we both awkwardly pause and run out of things to say, we look look for something to do.
"Wanna go outside?"
YES!!!!!! I am a intj too and it's so true
As a fellow INTJ, I agree. Napping with my SO is THE BEST.
I feel like I have to set things right : I'm an ENFP and my love language is physical touch. Because then my intuition about the other person's thouughts and feelings and emotions becomes pure empathy, they don't just show me their love, they allow me to feel it for real
I'm an INTJ and gifts are my love language. To me, gifts are the best way to really reflect your relationship with someone. The two best gifts I've ever gotten were a filing cabinet, and a drawing. A lot of people think it's about the money, but what it's really about is showing your thoughtfulness and knowledge of the other person. That's why I keep documents on everyone I know, writing down the things I know about them, and listing any gift idea's I think they would like, giving me plenty of time to prepare, as well as backup plans if they get it themselves.
That is so cute!! I hope you don't mind me saying this đ (I'm laughing because of the video) but I appreciate the thoughtfulness you were conveying. I remember getting 2 gifts from an INTJ and they were really thoughtful, sweet and useful. I still have them to this day.
Same here! I'll analyze the hell out of it and I do the documents thing too. It always helps in the long run when I need to reciprocate it and I'll have my notes to refer to. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does this sort of thing
Iâm an ENTP and I actually donât care if a gift is useless, Iâll find a way to make it useful (in my own way)
That's probably your Ne being creative and making something out of what may or may not seem like nothing.
Regift! Lol
Love this attitude!
That usually means regifting in my world.
@@justinwhite2725 I might repurpose something with at least one useful part
Gifts
Most likely: FJ types
Least likely: Entj, Estj
Words of Affirmation
Most likely: Feeling types
Least likely: Thinking types, Istp, Intp
Acts of Service
Most likely: Thinking types,
Least likely: Infp, isfp
Physical Touch
Most likely: SP types, Estp, Istp, NJ types, Enfj, Infj
Least likely: Enfp, Entp
Quality Time
Most likely: Most commen love language, could be every type
Least likely: EP Types, Estp, Esfp
Ily
As an INFJ, receiving gifts was my lowest: 3%
That's definitely not true
As an ENFP I'm more towards physical appreciation
I can agree as INFJ i like WofA and PT and AofS is my last Love Language :)
As an enfp, physical touch and quality time will always be my top
Iâm INFP/ENFP and Iâm mostly an affirmation type. When someone makes me a compliment it just completely makes my day. I think that physical touch and quality time are also very affective on me
Trust me dude, you're never gonna be an ENFP. My mom is, she's brilliant, I am her dark side, there is no way I can handle the much extroversion she can.
Sorry if I appear to be upset about you, I just don't agree with people saying they're a combo of types đ
@@PeloKing That is your personal experience. I do think that it it possible to be in the middle of introversion and extroversion. Iâm not as extroverted as some people but also not really an introvert. I love having alone time and just distancing myself from everyone but I also love parties and interacting with people and can go for hours and hours without feeling exhausted
@@user-lq9rw1gi6v I don't know what makes you think you're been more than just a normal INFP being. Sure you can practice social interactions and get confident about it, but it wont change the way your brain works.
@@PeloKing yes I know. But I strongly relate to things about both types. We canât really but people into boxes since some types are very similar and you can have equally as many traits of both of them.
Same! Physical touch is #1 for me then words of affirmation second.
I'm an INFP and my love language is gifts. When someone can pick the perfect gift for me on their own, I feel seen and understood. I think it's the feeling that someone pays attention that is the heartwarming part. I can barely tolerate someone who is thoughtless.
INFJ and physical touch here. I wish I had more of it. I rarely hug someone...
Go up to someone and give them a hug!! Be the one to initiate it.
I too am an INFJ and I guess the last time I hugged someone, it was about 5 years back :") *sigh*
Big (6â2â lol) hugger here, huge fan of a warm tight embrace, like a handshake for the whole body, tighter the better. ESTP here btw
INFJ, I'm a hugger too.
I used to not be touched like ever and then I started initiating hugs which was awkward to most people but the ones who really want me, they don't mind. It's a good way of seeing what people think about you.
PS. It might be a good idea to suss out in advance if people like touch at all, you wouldn't want to assault somebody. I personally just spread my arms in a vague offer of a hug, so I can see it in their face if they're uncomfortable (if I'm not sure, I offer a handshake the next time or wait for them to initiate a greeting.)
PS2: NEVER grab people and pull them into hugs. (unless you're best friends forever and you know they like it). One of the most off-putting thing is someone forcing their way into your personal space, even if touch is your Love Language. I know a guy who takes your hand and steps so close you literally have to use the arm he's holding as a shield between him and you. It's the worst. Don't be that guy.
I'll hug some men, but only few girls.
- INTJ
The most thoughtful gift I have ever recieved was an envelope with a very old picture of me and my friends in kindergarden. I just loved it.
đ
I'm an I/ENFP and physical touch is easily my favourite love language I am often lost in my head but I find physical affection extremely grounding and comforting â„ïž
Bahahaha I just said that
Same!
As a ENFP I disagree with you on physical touch. It's true that I don't like to be touched but if I hug someone I really love I feel so save and connected to that person. I think physical touch might even be my love language.
Mine is def words of affirmation ,then quality time, then physical touch. I love affection but it doesn't rank nearly as high as words of affirmation. like I need that shit to feel secure and not worry that everyone secretly hates me lol. but again I love myself a little cuddle/kiss/hug/snuggle, but a long letter or effusive text with the reasons you love me? YES PLEASE. NUMERO UNO. haha - Fellow ENFP (T)
Yes me either
I'm an INFP, and I feel like Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Quality Time are my top three love languages. However, I've yet to be in a romantic relationship (which makes me quite sad) so I'm going off of generalizations mostly.
I could have written that comment lol
Maybe that is for the best though, as it might take a while but when you find someone you will be ready and mature to have the best kind of relationship with a person that is worth your time. I wish that for you. ^-^
Wow, I relate to everything you said.
I don't think the 5 love languages are specifically meant to be romantic, but rather, generalizations. At least that's how I remember them (My church group went over them one time years ago and my expressed love language was gift giving.) So, for you, those three you listed may be the same love language you express to your family that would also carry over to a potential romantic interest.
@@CineShinya Thank you, I appreciate that. â€
My one aunt is a notoriously bad gift giver, she means well but I really don't know what to do with all this random stuff clogging my room. Though a few times she'll strike gold like when she got me my first Nancy Drew game. I like quality time and acts of service the most personally.
-An INTP
Yes, and you wonât ever throw those gifts away.
same-INTP
My mom is also a bad gift giver, Iâll receive my basic needs, something small for my hobbies, or random things.
This year, for my birthday and 2 holidays Iâve received a pencil box, highlighters, pajamas, and 2 books. (I recieved some chocolates, but I gave them to my sister whoâs always hungry.) I might get some new clothes for school as a gift, but Iâm not sure, my mom is in a bad mood.
Yeah, for the most part gifts just don't work, my interests are particular enough that only people really invested would get what I'd like (and generally it's just better to let me get it myself). The exceptions are the gifts that are so blatantly practical that giving them counts as acts of service (food, gift card to clothes store I'd use anyway, something practical for home I should get anyway...)
Words of affirmation tends to be awkward as well, at least as such and directly: engaging to attentive discussion (ie. quality time) works better. Though I also appreciate hearing that the another person has spoken positively about me to others (does that count as act of service as well? Maybe it does)
-Another INTP
Iâm also an intp and my aunt usually gives me junk but she gave me a new look gift card. Iâm not really into fashion however itâs still useful
I'm INFJ and husband is ESTP. I notice he tends to communicate love through acts of service. I am very uncomfortable with people doing things for me, but because I know that's his way of showing love, I've adapted and try to focus on what he's trying to tell me through his actions. I'm more inclined to communicate through words and quality time. We're both into physical touch so we've got that down at least!
How your marriage is going cause infj and estp is just opposite of eachother so I'm very curious
@@Sneha_kaintura It's going really well! I feel it's getting better than I even thought it could as we learn to accept each other's differences more with time.
We're actually expecting twins now and his practical streak is just the thing to keep my neuroticism in check đ it's like I'm imagining all the things that could happen or go wrong, and he's just totally confident that everything will be absolutely fine, and even if it isn't fine, he thinks we'll make it fine. His confidence seems mad to me đ But is exactly what I need!
I'm a bit late to the party (and with a couple of drinks), but I really appreciate what you're communicating here.
I'm an INTJ and I greatly appreciate you throwing out what I've been feeling every Christmas, birthday, Easter basket, anniversary, Valentine's Day, and whatever other gift exchange holiday.
I HATE getting a gift I figure the other person thinks I'll appreciate, but I don't like because it's literally of no consequence to my life in any way, shape, or form and I feel obligated to pretend I enjoy it to protect their feelings over mine due to the fact I want to show I care about what they want to do, but a beer or a head nod would have done the exact same thing.
It puts me in a box, and it drives me nuts. The fact I can take a segment of this video and show it to my wife to explain how I feel without sidetracking myself and going off on a tangent that takes a week to resolve makes me appreciate the time it takes to create this content (and it's a decent business if it creates gains), and let's me know I have to work a little more on how to communicate effectively in a way that doesn't p*ss everyone off.
Iâm an ENFJ, and I always thought quality time was my main love language (and I think itâs definitely up there) but Iâm in a new relationship (with an INFJ!) and experiencing gifts and really high quality words of affirmation for the first time and itâs blowing my mind. Iâm so used to supporting others and now my partner makes me feel like a princess
If gifts are your main love language, it's not just about receiving gifts, but also giving gifts. It's not unusual for me to pick up something small in a store for my husband or daughters because it made me think of them. I also love Christmas partially because I love picking out and giving special gifts.
I actually feel itâs like this for all love languages. It almost seems itâs more the way you express your love rather than how you want to receive it. I personally feel like I would love receiving love in whatever way is most comfortable for someone to express it, but I tend to stick with my own way of expressing my love (acts of service)
This is so true. Your love language affects how you show and receive affection. (I also like to pick up random stuff for my kids at the store and they love it!)
Same!
As an ENFJ who prefers physical touch, I am impressed
I agree with the ISTP... I remember our team Christmas party and there was a gift exchange and we listed down our desired gift... So I gave a detailed description of what I want (the brand, the cover of the planner and the store where you can buy it and it's near our office so it won't be a hassle to buy it) then the day came and someone who is NOT from our team got invited into the party and joined the exchanging of gifts picked me and handed me the gift... I was so disappointed because it was like she pick a random planner from a bookstore and add some random pen so she can made up to the required amount for the gift and put it in a paper bag then give it to me... She's just fortunate that I don't talk to her but it really got me pissed 'coz I expected something and she just joined a party and did not do her part and she's laughing 'coz she thinks it's okay... It would be much better if she just gave me the money so I can buy it myself if she finds it troublesome to get it. Yeah it's been 2 years since that happened but I'm still pissed thinking about it...hahaha
Plz, wanna video on 16 personalities as celebrity đ
Nice
I don't want to be a celebrity. đ
Iâm most likely an intp, and about the gift part, Jesus man we arenât monsters. Inferiour fe also some times manifests a social akwardness so i atleast would have even a harder time being that cold. I get your going with stereotypes though so iâll allow it.
Thanks for pointing that out! I have a friend who is INTP and she is the most kindhearted human being. She likes to show her friendship through gifts. #AppreciateINTPs
- INFP
@Zhiyue Yang same. I'm an intp too and I always prefer a gift that has useful purpose or practical use. So, whenever our office hold annual secret santa, ill make sure to list down a bunch of acceptable gifts and make a note that i dun accept decoration or memorabilia or anything that has zero practical purpose. And whenevr someone give me a gift, I feel this obligation to reciprocate by buying them a gift also, which I dun like to do cus figuring out what people like or want is just exhausting. Also, I hate going out.
I must say for me it was very true tho lol. When I don't like a gift I have some stupid comments usually, or more like after I'm silence and they ask me about it I would be honest cause I don't like lies. On the other hand, if I get a cool gift I like and I can use it makes me really happy and I think people can tell from my reaction they chose the right gift.
@@kiaraetsuko3523 could be about enneagram as well (9), never really gotten a gift that i dont like many times, or if i do i usually get some other gift i like at the same time so i just ignore the one i dont like and focus on the one i do like. Not really much for gifts in general but i appreciate the thought. Or maybe im not an intp, could be possible.
đ€Ł
Such an insightful video. Iâm am an INFJ and my primary love language is definitely words of affirmation. I feel most loved and appreciated when I get positive verbal feedback from my husband and that is exponentially increased when he praises me to others within my hearing. Physical touch would fall in second place, but it is still very important.
Answering your question to support your channel: most thoughtful gift was an artisanal music box my husband customized with things I liked, including the music. It felt extremely personal. I myself like to express my love with mixed tapes, so I get the gift thing and how it doesn't have to be big or expensive or a formal awkward thing. It's just about showing you've been thinking about them, paying attention to their likes and sharing something personal.
(Though my #1 is physical touch because I'm basic that way)
I am an ENFP and I LOVE Physical Touch! I was kinda bummed out to hear you say that my type may least like that type of love language. Your thoughts and theories on the matter make sense though. Quilty Time and Words of Affirmation are definitely my close runner ups to Physical Touch!
Iâm an ENFP and I totally agree, physical touch is by far my number one.
I'm an ENFP and personally I'm not really love Physical Touch so much. Well it's like I love it, cause it's nice, but Words of Affirmation works for me better and makes me more happier and it's also easier for me to understand that I'm loved. And Physical Touch can be confusing sometimes and also it's strange to get Physical Touch from friends when they love me, but to get Words of Affirmation from everyone is ok!
@@freya3676 agree
Same for me!!
Entp here and physical touch is also #1 for me
I never experienced a relationship yet but here we go.
ISTP
Gifts - Never the one to receive them but I kinda like giving them to people and seeing if they liked it, usually by remembering a conversation they mentioned the gift in.
Acts of Service - Well I've gotten used to this a bit too much, I do like it but it's starting to make me feel lazy.
Physical Touch - It gets me out of my thoughts and makes me get in the moment.
Words - I feel like it's commonplace but I haven't got many people telling me these but I sure do mind the little compliments and cherish them.
Quality Time - One of the main reasons my friend squad is a part of my almost everyday routine (mostly through internet tho) I enjoy spending time with people that I like and doing things I enjoy with them.
Also ISTP here. Iâm in a relationship currently and I agree with what youâre saying. I donât care about gifts. I donât really care about words cuz often Iâve heard it all the time or I already know Iâm great I donât need to be told it đ (dw Iâm not too up myself I promise). I do love acts of service cuz itâs typically very practical and I like practicality more than anything. Quality time and physical touch are probably the most important to me. I always gotta be close or contacting my partner it makes me feel loved.
As an ENTJ, I can confirm receiving gifts makes me feel a bit awkward, and I usually throw them away, I don't do it to be mean though, it's just that if I know I won't use them I won't keep them, it's always better to receive money or gift cards, but even those a tricky, the best thing for me is to going out to a restaurant or for a drink and having a nice chat.
I agree, as an ENFJ :) Though I think my main love language is actually acts of service.
As an INFP
1. Quality time
2. Physical touch
3. Words of affirmation
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
FJ: ENFPs are least likely to pick physical touch as their love language.
Me, and ENFP who loves hugs: đđđ
This shocked me too, ENFPs are some of the most hug-oriented people I know!
Right?? Every ENFP loves hugs
@@mcgil8891 Oh yes!
I'm an ENFP and I love hugs/physical touch but I feel like just because I enjoy it, it doesn't necessarily mean to me/make me feel really really loved! I feel most loved with thoughtfulness and effort so acts of service and quality time âșïžđ„°
@@caseyevans5960 Me too!
INTJ here, I might be a little odd, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. Always has been, I think it might have to do with the inferior function Extraverted Sensing. I only like it if I trust the person (which is rare), otherwise I will hands down reject all physical affection.
I agree with what several INFJs have said, there is a difference between what love languages you like to give, and what ones you like to receive. I love to give Physical Touch, but some people donât like that, so I usually give through Gift Giving. I donât like receiving gifts as much unless itâs food or something useful, and it is defiantly awkward, but give me some wholemade salsa or banana bread, and you will have won my respect.
I love Gift Giving, itâs like a puzzle that I was built to solve. I analyze and look for something that is either meaningful or useful to them, then package it fancy and gift it. I have a whole tub of gift bags, bows, and tissue paper so I can efficiently package gifts to look special and fancy. I always include a card with something special or unique to that person. I have several cards where someone gave me Words Of Affirmation, and they make me smile every time I read them. I try to recreate that special moment with every card I write.
Physical touch also helps because itâs actual evidence of love. None of this mumbo jumbo nonsense about reading signs
Awww what a sweet person you are intjs are so nice
as an ENTP, I feel extremely awkward receiving physical touch as a love language, so I absolutely agree with this part. I like both acts of service and words of affirmation, and obviously quality time, although the preferable way for me to express my own affection is gifting, sometimes words off affirmation as well.
ENTP too. But like physical touch a lot. I have some arguments about how it's actually good for physical and mental health if you wish) I don't like it only if I'm busy. Maybe it's because my N is about 60%, so I'm pretty close to ESTP in this particular area...
ENTP love language: "kneel before me and tremble! Avert your eyes! Just kidding I can't believe you actually did it lol. It's okay if you do it again haha."
He only said that ENTP hated stuff :(
INTJ: *le deth ster*
đđ
Omg hahahahah
We entp don't usually admit it but genuine words of affirmation give Fe child squeeky happy feelings.
very cute video. as an INTJ, i would say for me the best case for each is: gift=useful, words=don't compliment me but instead the thing i worked on, acts=i'm generally a loner and independent so i can't think of anything specific, physical touch=sitting closely, quality time=something peaceful or restorative whether we stay in or go out
INTJ, I agree with *all* of that. - âsomething peaceful and restorativeâ Yes⊠One of the worst birthdays I ever had was when my extroverted husband took me to dinner at our favorite --and too expensive- restaurant and he *invited one of his friends to join us at the last minute!* Someone I didnât even enjoy being around in any situation. đ They chatted the entire time, while I was mostly silent and totally miserable, and thinking about the huge tab for an evening I didnât enjoy.
If this doesn't describe me then I don't know what does. Totally accurate. INTJ female here.
As an INTJ, this completely describes me.
As an INJT, I agree!
I am an INTP and my 2nd lovelanguage is words of affirmation. I think thats because I like things that are different from the actions that I would do at the first thought. So I consider this as a brave thing and feel love. I often think "actions make more sence than words" but somehow words catch my emotions more than I actually want haha.
nope not me, I'm INTP and I don't like words they makes nervous and uncomfortable plus I don't know how to respond.
sometimes it even suffocating, I always prefer show don't tell.
Finally see an INTP that likes words of affirmation, that's what I like the most.
Did I do the tests wrong? But for few times already my results are still INTP
I've often wondered how the love languages fit with the personality types. As an INFJ I can relate to what you said. I prefer physical touch from my husband. He's an ISTJ and prefers acts of service. But when it comes to receiving love from others I definitely prefer gifts. Great job on the video! Very spot on and super informative. đ
INFP here, and I'm a mix of gifts and physical touch. You're spot on with how getting a gift you don't want makes you feel awkward. But, when someone gets it RIGHT then the value you get from that is immense. For example, there have been valuable gifts that I've literally mourned when they broke. Same goes for physical touch, it's a fairly intense hit or miss. It might just be me, though :)
INFP here, also. As a teenager, my best friend made me a necklace with little colourful heart beads. I rarely took it off and loved it dearly.
One day, I took it off whilst showering and when I went back to retrieve it, it was gone. My mom had thrown it away because she hated it as it was made of plastic beads, and she felt it was tacky. I wore it obsessively and never any of the gold/diamond jewelry she bought me (not a jewelry person).
That was around 20 years ago, and I'm still upset with her and still mourning the loss of that necklace. Ugggh...
@@Awesomefulninja Sounds like your mother was insanely jealous over that necklace. :( Really sad she threw it out.
ENFP here...I stated once on reddit that I felt like quality time, touch and words of affirmation should be together and some of us thought they should all be oneđ. Some of us want all the stuffs all the time, đ.
Hugs are life.
@@Chigger Hug=Love
ENFP here...........
You summed it up perfectly! I couldn't wrap my mind around how I felt about all this but when I read this the light bulb went on! --- from a fellow ENFP (obviously lol)
Yes. This is exactly me.
As an INFP, I feel the same. Hugs are the best đ
ENFP hereeee! A little late to the party, but I saw everyoneâs sharing their love languages! Iâm a little wonky because I kinda have two love languages. The best way to show me you care is through quality time, but for me, I like to bring/make gifts to show my friends that I care. I pay close attention to what my friends like and donât like; I even have notes where I write something down that they donât like so I wonât get it for them. Then when someone gets me something I donât want, I have to fake being happy because I feel awkward and donât want to hurt their feelings đ€Ł
Quality time holds a special place in my heart, though!! I love to explore new things, have great conversations that bounce from one topic to another, and more! If someoneâs open to trying new things, it makes me want to hang out with them even more. Yep, yep, thatâs basically it! My conversations can get kinda random though.. lol!
I'm an INTP and did the love language online test:
Gifts (last place): I did that. A dumb useless gift. Or I don't need it now, a waste of money and time.
word of affirmation (second place): I work best with motivation how hard I work for something, or when I'm appreciated for the problems I solve for others. The funny thing is if I get criticized first for the stuff I couldn't accomplish and being praised when I accomplish it worked always for me.
I got very little words of affirmation through my life.
Acts of services (third place nearly on par with second place): I like to do stuff myself. It's always awkward if somebody takes my tasks and does them for me. But if someone does something for me which isn't really on my todo-list. yes I hate one. I mean have one.
physical touch (first place): I like the warmth of my loved ones. I'm very touchy
quality time (fourth place): Spending time together doing nothing? No way. Watching a movie, reading a book, playing games together is more the quality time I want. Physical touch is much more important for me. But I also need very much time for myself.
I'm an INTJ and prefer words of affirmation... It definitely is awkward and in the moment I don't really know how to respond. But I'm kinda bad at picking up positive signs so I need people to tell me exactly how they feel.
Thank you for sharing!
I'm really good at picking up positive signs, but I also prefer words of affirmation and acts of service.
Well fellow INTJ, thank you for sharing! I affirm your active commenting on CZcams!
I enjoy "words of affirmation" because I feel that if someone truly likes & respects me, they won't make me glean it through subtext or use those tedious social gymnastics.
Yes, I realize it can be hard for people to be direct because that is incredibly vulnerable, but... At the end of the day, it not only ensures that everyone is on the same page but also allows me to reciprocate properly.
I can't feel comfortable unless I have a firm idea of where everyone stands & what is expected of the either of us. So... Someone explicitly telling me how they feel shows me "Yes, I listened to what makes you feel comfortable & I understand & your needs matter to me."
I think my favourite to give is "acts of service". First of all, I enjoy feeling competent & using my skills/attention to detail in order to make my few loved ones happy. Second of all, it usually warrants "words of affirmation" from the other person, which creates a positive feedback loop.
it's only affirmative if I actually needed it or they turn it into a friendly, curious question.
My intp brother created many an awkward moment on Christmas morning after opening his gifts, âwhat is this supposed to do?â âWhy did you get me this?â âI guess this is fineâ etc etc đ
Intp here...
yah been there done that... I made Christmas literally hell for my aunt one year. Unintentionally. She spent like 2 months making scarves for everyone in my family. My mom had done this like two years prior and frankly to a much higher quality. So me being 8 year old me. Sat there looking at it and I just blurted out what should I do with this? I have one already and it is better. I then proceeded to rag on her cooking and baking. To which she told me if I don't like it cook it myself. So I did.
Afyer thst mess and i was told to just write a list. So I literally got to the point I would give people a list, split the master list based on assumed budget allotment. I would say don't get me everything on the list. just pick one thing I can use or need everything that is on the list.
If you don't want to flow the list, please follow the rule of don't give it unless you can eat It, drink it or smoke it. As I don't smoke, please follow the list guide lines for acceptable food and drink.
@@carrie_e lol. Now that Iâm older I do value my brothers honesty. You always know if he likes something or not!
@@snarkymcsnarkface1863 đ€Ł I like that approach. It prevents people from wasting their money on gifts you donât even want!
I'm an infp and I swear I do that.
As an enfp I think its actually the opposite, for me I like physical touch cause it makes me feel comforted and "they can be so disconnected to the real world" which I'm pretty sure is the reason why we like them instead of why it won't appeal to us
Iâm and INFP and my love language is gifts. I love giving and receiving them, and âbadâ gifts donât bother me in the slightest because Iâm so excited that they thought to give me something at all. My second is physical touch, and third is quality time.
As an INTP, I like quality time because I need to have someone I can share all of the concepts I have floating around in my head with another person in order to have some sort of outlet to reality. I spend most of my time inside my head with all of these new theories, vague concepts and obsessively over worked taxonomies. I really do need to put them out into the world in some little way and have another person give me some perspective and put a little ground under my feet. And of course I need to hear other people's idea because that inspires mine.
Acts of service is cool too because I'm super lazy.
Same
I have been advised to share my concepts on the tube but I don't know if this is wise
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@@louisejoel same some of them are really weird.
@@weepinangel4485 We should do this, Jordan Peterson has regrets but he's not living in his parent's basement
Words of affirmation all day, baby. -INFJ
I am a INFJ my self and I am doing a sensus on INFJ. Do you have ADHD (ADD) or neurodiverse? Yes, No or Don't know.
im an infj, i have adhd, and i probably think touch or words or affirmation are my love language
Accurate! I'm an INFP, and my least favorite love language is acts of service. It's nice when people do acts of service, but it doesn't necessarily make me feel loved by someone. Quality time is my preferred love language. I love it when the people I care about the most choose to spend time with me.
Thanks for uploading it, the video was really interesting and as an intp I totally related to acts of service (in fact, I voted for it) sometimes the words others say seem so cliche or cheesy (even when I know they're trying their best to make me feel loved) that it's difficult for me to hear them and to give those words back, but maybe preparing a good meal, giving my jacket or helping them with something they have problems solving is easier and its only then when I feel that I'm expressing my affection truly. Maybe the deal is that I want to be useful for those I love and want them to know they can depend on me.
@Frank James
I appreciate the *gift* you give in the form of the creative, thought-provoking, and funny content you provide. Itâs awesome when you spend *quality time* chatting with us during premieres! Many of your videos feature *words of affirmation* that remind each type of our strengths and unique traits. And, while this may not be a typical example, I would argue that entertaining and informing us are pretty awesome *acts of service* you provide. And if you decide to offer free hugs youâll have all the bases covered!
Thanks for the love, Frank! We â€ïž you!
INTP: QT time is my love language, which may seem to go against the grain since I spend most of my time in my head, BUT I do like someone aroundâŠ.not talking, but close :))
Yes
If possible an intuitive type
I'm an INFP and I love gifts, but particularly if it's thought out or something I mentioned a while ago. If it's not, I still appreciate the thought and work behind the gift. But it hits me in all the feels when it was specifically thought through for me.
As an ENFJ I love doing things, especially for her and often like a surprise, that always brings that genuine sweet smile on her face. It feels like a beautiful flower, which blooms even on extreme winters, which I could never let fade. It is much more than a gift, an act of service or any word of affirmation. It is everything to me. I love my INFP.
Same, but she has yet to reciprocate to the same intensity.
As an ENFP who's love language is physical touch, I found this video very surprising. For me physical touch allows me to connect with others in a deeper way. I'm not saying that this video was wrong since it logically makes sense. Just interesting how much variance you can have within MBTI world and that really people can't simply be put into a box we are all so individual.
I'm also an ENFP but I generally hate bejng touched. I love it when my daughter touches me especially. My husband can be very hit or miss. I especially don't like being touched if I'm in the middle of something because it makes it hard to focus and stresses me out :P
Iâll say it! Wrong! My number one love language! đ I am in my head and disconnected and physical touch it very grounding for me.
me too! i love physical touch because, even though im extroverted, i stumble on my words and get shy really quickly, hence physical touch is easier and much more simple. but i also relate to @May Blake's Hideaway for Truth-Seekers when it comes to being touched when concentrating, its super stressful scary sometimes haha
ENFP here, I LOVE physical touch, but only with people I care about. I definitely communicate with touch
I also love physical touch, so I was very surprised when he ranked it low for a ENFP as well. I'm so touchy that I have to hold someone's hand when I'm having a deep conversation. I slide next to people I'm sleeping next to, just for the closeness đ€Łđ€Ł Writing this comment cracked me up.
As an ISFP I would agree that I don't like people just doing stuff for me. Mainly because I like things done my way and I don't really like people touching my stuff.
So refreshing to see a fellow ISFP response...
BTW, same! đ€Łđ„Ž
Couldn't agree more as an ISFP
For love languages *I* perform for my loved ones from most used to least as an ENFP, itâs:
1. Physical touch
2. Quality time
3. Acts of service
4. Words of affirmation
5. Gifts
For love languages I like, from most preferred to least, its:
1. Quality time
2. Physical touch and words of affirmation (tied)
3. Gifts
4. Acts of service
Iâm an ENFP, and my love languages are touch and quality time. For time, while I do love going out with people, I also love sitting and chatting. But I think just as much as either of those, I like just sitting and being together with my loved ones. No words, just presence. Itâs relaxing and comforting just to be with them
This was really interesting. As a fellow INFJ and future counseling professional I love to hear your takes!
I have personally always struggled to clearly identify my favorite love language, however I think it would be quality time. Like you said, I appreciate all of them. And I feel as an INFJ I easily accept when my partner does any of these things for me because I can be rather people-pleasing and I want him to know he does a good job...if that makes sense.
Most interestingly, my partner is an ISTJ and his love language is easily words of affirmation. I always feel like I am doing practically nothing for him but he is completely satisfied with me telling him how proud I am of him or how much I appreciate him.
We are such different people but I appreciate how he makes the effort to understand my need for quality time even if he doesn't really get why I need it.
I'm an ISTP woman, and for me, the reason that words of affirmation don't fly is because talk is cheap. And since actions speak louder than words, then acts of service are definitely where it's at!
100%
def agree-estp
Same
I discount words unless accompanied by congruent action - entp
Absolutely agree. But as an ISTP too, i lean to physical touch more
I'm an ENTJ with Gifts as my primary love language...but I'm very vocal about what I like and expect from gift-givers. I think it's fair to express your expectations with any of the love languages, but particularly Gifts, because not everyone is intuitive or observant. I was disappointed enough (and couldn't really hide it) to start communicating what I prefer to receive. It's helped the people close to me a lot!
So glad I found this video, as I've heard a lot about love languages lately but I had no idea what that was about. As an INTJ, I actually love to give people meaningful gifts, but I rarely receive any gifts myself, but I do get excited when I do.