Deja-vu: Fight Back Gaslighter’s Secret Techniques, Messing with YOUR Mind
Vložit
- čas přidán 24. 04. 2022
- Gaslighters use deja vu, jamais vu, and entraining via semantic satiation to take over you mind and compromise your reality testing. Here is how to fight them back.
Washington Post www.washingtonpost.com/wellne...
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...
I felt like my brain turned to scrambled eggs. I began to believe I was a horrible bad person. Of all the abuses, gaslighting was the worst and effected my ability to function.
I agree gaslighting generally is the most cruel, dangerous form of abuse.
@@familytreeourstory uu
Been in same for 23 years of a made co dependant married to a narcissistic verbal abuse to keep me sick and low.
Is this the reason I fall or and staunchly defend to myself their false self? For example, I believed my late husband was a successful businessman even though in reality, there was ample proof that he was not but I refused to see it. Or is that something else? Because I do that a lot.
@@emilyashley4820 Thats a good point. I am a very stubborn person. Something to be aware of, Lol.
One of the things that gave me my power back, before I learned about narcissistic abuse and it’s red flags I never recognized was detailed note taking. I’m a self employed carpenter, I was raised in a generational narcissistic family system. So before I understood any of this, I was working for narcissistic contractors and clients all the time. Take explicit notes, really threw all of them for a loop. I even had on contractor who would give me a walk through of what he wanted done with specifications, I’d take a few pages of notes which he loved having me hang on his every word. When the work was done, I’d have him come and take a look. In the past, he would come and get pissed and say all these other specifics he did not out line at all, and I would have to redo all the work that I had completed for free and pay out of pocket for materials. So anticipating that he would throw a fit that it was all wrong and do hid best to dress me down in front of the home owner and other trades, but I had the notes, that I had him initial that it was what he wanted. I calmly addressed, knowing I had the upper hand in all aspects, his reality denial was pointed out, in specifics, in front of a crowd. He melted down like a child and left the job site. I was obviously fired, but I got a tool that outlined REALITY. I use it in all the time in all of my contracts, it really puts down a boundary that has helped me ever since. Nothing is ever agreed to till it’s in writing and or recorded on video. It’s still a documentation.
Great idea!
PERFECT
ive recorded conversations with my bpd ex multiple times , you can show themselves literally burning down a house , and still rationalize and justificate their actions or deny them.
@@MissManaged1001 it’s perplexing that”they are not watching the same movie the rest of us are watching” but will tell their version of events without any self doubt or humility. Unfortunately, and fortunately, pending on how you choose to look at it, I have to buy devices with huge memory because I save everything including texts. It has saved my ass and sanity more than once.
@@MissManaged1001 agreed, I try to avoid these folks at all costs. I haven’t spoke to any in my family in many years. But I am self employed. I’m constantly dealing with people to make a living. Although I’m way better at seeing red flags now and will turn jobs down based on what I can read on the people, I still have to network and meet new customers and other trades. Learning to build great boundaries and to enforce them, in my contracts has been huge.
The gaslighting didn’t make me believe the false reality he was projecting, it created massive conflict bc I wouldn’t agree to the delusions he was imposing on me! He would insert words I did not say, infer meanings of my perspective I did not mean, and INSIST he was correct, rage on me, constantly interrupt me, blow up then leave and disappear. Then show back up like nothing happened, and if I wanted to discuss, would attack/criticize/blame/rage on me. I did not feel crazy but I would get very distraught, bc I felt like my partner was delusional and mean, and I did not understand how a simple conversation or question, like what’s the plan for this weekend/holiday would turn into a fight!
EXACTLY
Me too. Couldnt have said it better. I'm trying to psychologically remove him from my being until I can remove myself physically. I tried to go before but 4 years later I was still in the same mess as day one.
@@nolitedesbastardescarborun51 don’t tell him. Set up cameras inside and outside the home, they get violent when you try to leave, mine did. If he has ever gotten violent with you at all, make a police report!!! You don’t have to press charges, just make a separate report for each time!!! ESPECIALLY if you have kids! You will regret not doing so when he gets unsupervised visits bc you were trying to minimize and deescalate the situation!! Document everything, at minimum audio record him. There are free apps to record phone calls. Each time I did not, thinking it was a quick question/issue no need to record, I was wrong. Treat all communications like it will be read and/or listened to by a judge! Be safe! Get all bank records/retirement or investment account records/tax returns/titles/deeds somewhere safe!
@@luckyluckylucky2261 thank you. That helped. No kids. Not together anyway. Iv done the recording thing. Found out. Went nuts. Iv left. He doesnt care. I went back and now its no effort on his part. I'm trying to at least see this for what it is. Police were useless. 4 of his family members are police. His son in law head of DV locally. I'm terrified of being alone. No money. No friends. So im doing Fortress for now til I get a straighter brain. It's all head work with him and shouting. Lies, forgets very conveniently til I think I'm going mad. I'm sooooo not telling him. Anything. He'd probably forget it anyway. Thank you Lucky. So much.
Agreed. He and my narc mother were VERY unsuccessful at gaslighting me.
One day, when I was a kid, I came home from kindergarten with a bandaged knee. I had fallen off a swing, & a rusty nail got embedded in my knee. Had to go see the nurse. When I went home, My Mom, on the spot, said "No, that happened to your sister, a few years ago.".
Any time I referenced the incident from then on, I was told that didn't happen at all. Still have the scar😂
Dear Professor Sam,
Please don’t worry about the advertising. We all press the skip the adverts button as soon as we see it!
For 2 1/2 years my abuser played music all the time I was there. He used to use phrases like I love your body. He said this phrase in almost every email he sent. I thought I’d never have a skinny woman at my age again. He said you don’t have to be a skeleton for me to love you. So I stopped eating. And became anorexic. I didn’t know that I was doing this it was just a voice in my head that I didn’t hear but just did. I just don’t know how it explain it. I’ve been listening to your videos sometimes over and over. You saved my life and I’m sure many more. I thank you from the bottom of my heart professor Sam Vaknin
You are a threat to people who spread lies
You are to helpful to people of this world who needs help. Please do your best
You are a gem in a dark world
Thanks for sharing
The minute someone takes an authoritative demeanor in what should be an equal relationship RUN. It is VERY TYPICAL that we expect and accept that level of confidence in men. And they MAY be so successful in their worklife that they just have the final word in your day to day personal interactions too. That cannot end well no matter how badly you want it to. Both people in the relationship should alternate leading and deferring to each other depending on whatever is happening. It should never be one sided.
There should NOT be one person whose opinion is always valid ("fact") and one person whose behaviour and opinion is always the inferior (faltering).
I have been gaslit in 2 relationships... it makes you doubt your own sanity, reality and integrity - which are all distorted to suit the needs/ends of the gaslighter. Once you are subjected to this technique, it is time for you to pack your bags and make your tracks.
There is no positive or constructive effect or impact of this, it's sole purpose is to wrest control of your mind, manipulate and mine it, and eventually destroy it.
I love it! The ads are out of control on CZcams. Just hit SKIP Don't purchase
@@ChryslerKuba I'm tired of paying for every service. My goodness
This is truly frightening
It is crazy to be gas lighted by someone only to realize they are passing their gas lighting from a abusive person. Very enlightening I have had the same experiences from family to partners.
intentional or not, i dont care. i find the best way to deal with a gaslighter is first, stop confronting or questioning that person. if u feel used/betrayed, u probably are. u dont need validation from them coz apart from not being able to validate u, what they're more likely to do is defend themselves & tell u things like you're too sensitive & need to take a chill pill. why would u need that? secondly, i tend to use "an eye for an eye" or tit for that. its super effective, esp towards the "unintentional" gaslighter who's unaware of their behavior. when u do it back to them, they can then have a taste of their own medicine and then decide whether or not they like it when its being done to them. passive aggression is sometimes the best way to deal with such ppl if u cant leave (esp if they're family, u work with/married to them).
A covert narc is the eternal victim of their own choices while claiming you are an unreliable witness of your own experience.
Gaslighting is the worst. I lost sense of all reality. My ex would frequently tell me one thing then do something else and say he never said that or did that.
This video made me remember when he was flirting with me like he did when he was interested in sex. He said he was going to take a shower Nad I should join him. I was so excited. When I got in the shower he yelled and berated me. Saying he wasn't saying that. Didn't mean for me to join him. I was so heartbroken so confused.
I would constantly catch him doing something. It was obvious. He would say it's in my head. Or someone else had his phone. Or that I'm crazy. I believed him, but didn't. I was so confused
He told me some really hurtful things that destroyed my self esteem more. When I'd ask him why he'd say them he'd say I didn't say that. Or you made me mad.
No one understands what that relationship was like. They just think I'm crazy. But I'm not. I'm just lost.
Id go to his sister and she would say she knew something was right with him. Then sometimes she'd say I was crazy. I do not trust anyone anymore.
@@shalaemayville9863 Get out out of the hell house. The fact that you are now questioning you are waking up, so quietly get out. Trust no one around you as they could be his flying monkeys. Speak and seek help from docs, therapist and get as far away as you can. Remember to pray alot, stay in the WORD. The truth of who you are shall come to you and will help you block out the negativity that has shrouded your judgement. May ABBA YAH'S Help and bring you safely there by THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF YAHUSHA HA MASHIACH 🙏🏾SHALOM
Maybe he's a narcissist? Sounds like it!! They make you feel down, shit and make you blame yourself. They also win over other people.
Been there myself and started learning about it....
I watch this, Cluster B Milkshake and Mental Healness.
No you were abused by a narcissist I believe you find fellowship in the NOD community non e understand fully until they've gone through it or seen it firsthand to someone they love or care about and truly see something is radically wrong with them keep researching many good channels out here any suggestions please feel free to ask I can lead you to so e great channels you'll be validated your not crazy and everything you listed is textbook narcissism glad you Got out need you need to heal and be self aware and learn tools to not let this ever happen again because if you don't chances are it will happen again and it gets worse they can pick emosths out of a crowd it's like a sixth sense I've been healing for years now I can see them coming a mile away and I'm narc repellant I still attract them but the second they try any thing I usually choose to not entertain them at all but sometimes you can't avoid you'll have tools and they'll realize your not to be fucked up praying for your healing and strength remember you can do all things through him who strengthens you Phillipians 4:13
my mother gaslit me when i. was abused by her . she would tell me that she didn’t do the things she did . i was placed on foster care for ten years . she said she never hit me or said the things she did to me . it made me very confused and very insecure child that didn’t trust myself .. painful
I wouldn't know how to thank you enough for your work, Sam. However, this video, every single sentence, has resonated on every level. Currently attempting to dig myself out from years of dejala, I am slightly overwhelmed by the timeliness of your kind advice. From entrainment, jamais vu, documentation, thank you from the bottom of my heart for validating my instincts so thoroughly. This has been the most astonishing and desperate battle, as a people-pleaser and caring man there is so little of me left. Your efforts come as a gift I feel I could never repay. Thank you again for your work.
Yes, I started documenting everything
After spending 5 years with a BPD will never ever be in a relationship again. I am not going to not drink, not smoke, workout just to have some ClusterB mess up my mind. Makes no sense.
OMG.... This is why they prompt certain music 😯. And THIS is why we believe the words of our abusers. This is HUGE ❤️🤯. WOW.
Thank you so much. You have explained the dynamics behind so many things that have puzzled me. I was recently "Gaslighted at work" I was even given a "Write Up" that was based on lies from two managers that claimed that I had yelled at them, and called them assholes. Even though I had two co-workers sitting right there as witnesses to the contrary. The district manager had my boss write me up. Instead of going to my direct boss. The two girls called the district manager with their false accusations over the phone, while crying crocodile tears. Funny, but they did not cry until they made there phone call. And, the district manager did not investigate the matter. I am so happy and grateful that the district manager has quit her job since. But, I still have that write up on my records.
love it when you giggle Sam....
This is a great video, although I would say to definitely NOT call them out. If you suspect a narcissist is gaslighting you, calmly and quietly get TF away ASAP. Calling them out sets off a timebomb. You don't know when or where it will blow, but it WILL blow. They will stop at nothing to destroy you. Your relationships, your career, your business - they WILL get you back!!
I am listening to this with tears running down my face. Thankyou. I am vindicated.
This man is life-changing.
My main experiences were with Physcopaths, so the Narcistic characters I attracted seemed Angelic in comparison. Its why I found Sam back in 2000, the Grandiose (they were high functioning, topped their Fields) Narcissism comes with them.
Yeah Physcopaths always create a reality for you. Power, power power! If you escape suddenly they go into a physcotic state. It's an awful experience and Gaslighting is large percentage of their abuse. However they learn these tricks is beyond me, kids probably. Multiple personalities they have.
Yes, yes Sam, they put you into their dark world, their reality! Hell. Its so weird & strange, to explain the brainwashing techniques they do. Its death alright. Crazy is thrown around nowdays, but their tricks are gonna make you Madhouse insane.
They know what they are doing. If you don't keep yourself a secret reality within it, you are subjugated completely, a Slave 😫
Down the Rabbit Hole goes Alice!
Well said!!!! It is brain washing. And it truly robs you of life.
Look
Psychopath*
Thank you. This is needed for people to understand the extreme abuse and danger of gaslighting, I see now in USA they use it as if its no big deal, when it can destroy someone for life and it is exstreme painful. Same with stalking, in USA these days they feel important if they have a stalker, they also call watching someones profile on facebook stalking.
I am so happy to have You Tube Premium. No advertisements plus other excellent features.
Now, where can we find a good man at this days 😥.
Thanks for the video
Go within sort your issues out we all have them then you will not be easy prey for the wrong people 🥰
I still feel the reverberation of this treatment. A 2 1/2 year relationship with a narcissist has left me 12 months later unsettled, aloof, nervous about interaction and in complete fear and repulsion at the thought of coupling again. Thanks Sam for another well explained in depth delivery but how do I get back my brain, reality and life back?
I still ruminate about my ex bff narcissist too, even 4 years after being discarded [I did know her since 1st grade though]. I find that talking to people you trust and doing things you love really help to get you back to YOU and put the narcissist on the back burner.
This is so interesting. It explains to me why when I visited my stepmother and tried my hardest not to let her get to me, I'd still leave her house feeling diminished and like her voice my somehow stuck in my head and circulating through me.
Brilliant intellectually robust explanation of psychological mechanism, culminating with applicable practical advice in last section about how to ground oneself, validate one's reality testing. Priceless and succinct.
Deja vuVerbal abuse as music : Somatic repetition.... experimental neuro semantics😳 chilling stuff.
Anyone that buys anything from an ad on CZcams is lost forever.
I Sweden we call gaslighting for Härskartekniker = Ruler techniques for power.
The heavy metal band, Pantera, had dedicated a whole album to gaslighting, Vulgar Display of Power 😀
Journaling and talking to others helped me a lot. Thank you!
I have experienced this and this feels like changing souls our original soul just dies and the abusers soul enter our body and mind
This is so creepy. I had experienced everything you described.
I really appreciate your commitment to giving us all of those information ❤️ I found a wonderful therapist so I hope everything will get better and I am not totally alone with my problem.
Thank you so much for your insight on this topic. Your channel helped me better understand myself and my personal experience. I belive i have been in an abusive relationship and many of the things you mentioned and explained resonated deeply with me. Throughout my relationship i felt tired, sad and many time scared of my partner reaction to my doings. Even when I knew it was toxic and abusive I believed i dont have "good enough reason" to break it off. I remember wishing he would slap me or cheat on me so I could have an "explanation" for my desire to leave. Thankfully I came to my senses with the help of my friends and decided to break things off. The day after I told him I want to break up he panicked and tried to talked to me like we only had a small fight. That was the moment his mask slipped and from feeling guilty Im "abandoning him" I felt so angry. For the first time I realized he was manipulative and to an extent, self aware. I do believe people that feel they need to use gaslighting on their surroundings are hurt and insecure but that doesn't mean we have to tolerate that. Thanks again for sharing your insight on the topic
Advice taken. Thank you for putting in to words what I didn’t understand. Therapy and your educational videos have helped the trauma start to heal. I have a long way to go with my codependent tendencies, yet find strength in recognizing what’s my “stuff,” and what is not. To thine own self be true.
Thank you for acknowledging the advertisements
Wow, the music thing gives me a clear explanation how gaslighting could work... Thank you!
I met him I asked him Twice, very clearly, if he was okay with not having children. Both times he said es. Further into the relationship, he called me selfish for not wanting him to have children. It was all downhill from there in regard to my sanity and self esteem
Sr. I have been dealing with a severe racial profiling from the Ottawa police, the officers that I have encountered have done everything what you said in this video, and the worst they have done to other people including their own female officers!!
From threats to hurt my family to death threats,, from extreme gaslighting to request a counselor notes when I went to look mental help... And you actually have explained better than the "professionals" that I had see here in Ottawa... but something for sure I have dealing with a officers with psychopathy tendencies!!!
Thanks again for your videos and advise, please keep posting videos!!
Well done! spot on for my experience. Thanks
Brilliant anatomy of gaslighting!
AS ALWAYS .. INVALUABLE DISCUSSIONS .. THANK YOU .. B .. X ✨✨🖤🖤✨✨
again, this is what I think of when I hear Thom Yorke's song "Unmade". Brilliant lecture Sam!
Thank you Sam . Ho and I did not see an add while I was watching your video and if I do this channel is so worth it . Thanks again
I watched him try to train everybody to respond to certain words by constantly repeating them. I have observed this technique elsewhere too. I had thought it was some kind of neurolinguistic programming till I watched this today. I ensured all important communication with me was in writing. I have previously toyed with the idea he might be a psychopath rather than a narcissist. He certainly knew exactly what he was doing, as when I was able to disprove him, he would laugh. The term narcissist generally seems to fit more closely however. Thank you Sam. Great information.
@@eclipsedawn9 You are right. I used to take his laugh at face value unfortunately.
Is it like a nervous laugh?
Thanks to this education. When I grey rock my person it made her flip out. Then I just acknowledged that she was upset and sorry for her emotional state. But I told her that I can not apologize for the made up assumptions she told me, for which is why she was so upset. I said that it sounded like she had a tough fantasy situation that has caused real life upset. But I was not involved in any of the assumptions she described (possibly could have) to happen.
Then when she started cursing, that was when I said thank you but not interested in that kind of communication. And hung up.
One more instance and the block will be on for good. I am trying to be nice because we work together. But if I keep getting harassed, then I will just call it quits for good and that will be the end of that anxiety.
Absolutely fascinating.
Thank you💚
I think it can cause suppressed emotions.
Your expression of a feeling towards an offense is called overreacting, silly, inappropriate, imagining things, playing victim.
You start to not trust yourself.
Your videos are priceless and knowledge is power. We are sure it is worth watching no matter what. Best wishes
My mum did this to her 8 kids and empowered 2 of the older boys to torment us all so its deeply engrained. So much conflict from constantly rebelling against her and her toxic children's twisted reality. Estrangement has been necessary but doesn't magically enable reality. Living with the introject, in constant self doubt, paranoid and disconnected. Never been attached so not sure if I ever can because part of me is seeking mum. Dislike how vulnerable I am!
Thank you
This video nails it! This video needed and will help many to understand about gaslighting - and call it out immediately
If only to yourself This is how to get clear, and mental clarity is everything when talking about gaslighting isn’t it?
Freedom initially might be some kind of safe space - not necessarily therapy -for me it’s painting. 💕love wins
Thank you Prof. Vaknin. ❤️
Thank you!
My ex went deep, even bringing his other women around to the house as friends and telling me I was crazy to think he was cheating I was paranoid etc but he was doing all I thought even when I caught him (20 years together) black and white evidence he flicked it back to me that it was my fault for going through his phone and even though I could see all the cheating it wasn’t true nothing was going on
His drug and alcohol use boy whole other subject he even had friends he would “help” get off alcohol when he was an alcoholic himself seen it all in action it was so weird watching him do this to his friends when I knew the truth about him
And yes he used to say we were Bonny and Clyde our shared reality
And to add to that he would say things like as if I would sleep with her she is this or that yuck and than say to me why would I think I was below these other women that he would sleep with them over me etc so many years in that nightmare
@@LizEarthAngel3 Similar experience with husband. Been together 24 years, married 22, no matter what I find in his phone, it is all my fault because I went through his phone. The gaslighting doesn't work on me. My mind is strong. My mother gaslighted and invalidated me my whole life and I know what these people do. It was so subtle early on with husband and I gave him benefiit of the doubt for years. Big mistake.
Thank you Professor for all your knowledge that you give your us/ your followers daily. So very helpful. Please get compensated!! You absolutely deserve it❣️Shame on the giant for doing this...
Thank you. I've been saying this for years - the term has lost its meaning through overuse, much like narcissism.
Love this movie!!!
Hey mr. Tank You againg for sharing
thank you
Great subject today Sam.
Thanks, ill share this valuable information
THERE IS A SETTING THAT ONE CAN SELECT TO EXCLUDE ALL ADVERTISEMENTS DURING A CZcams VIDEO! NO ADVERTISEMENTS INTERFERING! BLESSINGS AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR KNOWLEDGE!
No. Google overrides the setting: czcams.com/video/oHRzn2ScWco/video.html
I would stop at stating the truth once. Then he would rage...once apologizing didn't stop the rage I stopped apologizing. But the resentment and low self esteem continued years after I escaped.
Everything I said was derailed and questioned. No part of my life was left in peace.
Is there a therapy to help a young child who has been subjected/exposed to gaslighting and has autism-like developmental disorders/delays?
My 10-year-old son has a degraded self-image; for example, he thinks he was always unloved because too often angry. (which is totally false memories. His father gave him a nickname: "Angry little boy").
In fact, his father-my ex-husband- Used to sing every second, every hour, every day how beautiful, perfect and cute we were.
Often rubbing/stroking our heads.
In disgust (because I sensed it so fake), my heart pounded in my stomach.
I knew something was wrong. But I gave up. I felt for it.
I try to give my son the ground and the wings necessary to his grow, but I should admit, today I'm more broken than yesterday.
Dr. Sam Vaknin. Thank you for your videos. Could you do more on HSP please? I want to understand it and would love to hear about it from you
the uncanny becomes familiar by the automaton and you become the automaton (estranged) in the process.
I am a text book case of the WWII CPTSD in such birth parenting / an extended family paradigm for sure - scary as hell crap that continued while enmeshed / the no-contact became noticeably real only recently for me / I continued to confront the phenomena since as young as toddler age (a lifetime) with such crap that your focused study speaks to so elegantly = their tantalizing need for the 'dysfunctional' parenting group - their abusive 'Alienation' of child/parent/ and any functional 'Healing' Ability in the Birth Family Paradigm is a fragile mind-set I only recently comprehended in 10 years of yours' and others' close study of the 'Psychology/Sociology Phenomena' near escaped with zero tolerance of such abuser(s) - my reality of the 'red-flags' scars me to recognize no-contact as the only resolve moving forward - God help us all to survive the mind-set / social placidity is the nasty weapon! as too many enmesh while surviving the harm!
I need these for work asap
remember when CABLE TV first came out? = no commercials
Robotic, wow! I need help! So accurate!
Notes in the margins :): each time I listen to Prof. Vacnin’s videos, I come across something that I experienced in my relationship with a person very probably suffering a npd. Thus, he was really a movie addicted and said that in life he felt like watching a movie…interesting…
This is so fascinating, but there’s no way my narcissist is smart enough to mastermind this kind of gaslighting 😂
Hi Professor Sam!
You're videos are one of the best, if not the best, source of information on Narcissistic Personality disorder. It would be a blessing to both scholars and the general public if you could do an analysis of the celebrities Amber Heard and Jada Pinket - Smith.
Warm Regards.
Gosh yes please please
Sam, please will you talk about grooming of elderly relative and the extra danger if that relative is a narcissistic person, thankyou
This "killing" then resurrection in the abusers reality is eerily similar to the resurrection story of Jesus Christ.
I had been with my baby child all day, she was not feeling well, but she had not been expressing any pain only tiredness. When her mom came home she took her temperature it was 39 c, and then she wanted to give her painkiller. I disagreed. But she gave it to her. Then her mom argued that she was afraid because maybe our child had a brain desease. So i wanted to take her to the doctor, which her mom then denied, and behaved angry towards me. Then we drove to the doctor. Her mom told the doctor, now with a big charming smile " Tell her dad that it is okay to give pills". It was the doctors opinion , that a baby can get up to 42 c, and you just have to cool them down, no need for pills. The following days she didnt mention anything to me, not any sorry nothing. Then when i brought it up a few days later. She told me " The doctor sed 42 c, our baby had 39 , so it doesnt count"...
Of all the forms of abuse in my marriage, it was the gas lighting that made me leave.
He came to visit again. Unannounced. The outline of his figure becoming more defined the closer I drew. As his shadow faded, so did my reality. It seemed, unlikely, I should see him again. Especially so soon. This could not be him. The possibility is limited to my conscious mind. The colors and contrast of his character came alive as he began to speak. Each word like a brick. Heavy, set, and undigestable. His apparent existence felt like a crack between what I knew as real and what I knew as not real. A very obvious line between my reality and a dream. As my mind reeled at this silly idea that perhaps I could be dreaming, his brick wall of words stalled its own conception. He questioned my wrinkled brow and paled complexion. I was silent. But his question soaked my inner critic with a new fallacy.
Perhaps, this was just a dream. Perhaps, a very bad dream. Perhaps, I will wake up. Perhaps, the only way to wake up from a bad dream is death. It makes sense. That is how the dream space works. Death is the way out. This is a nightmare. And I want out.
****
And there ensues the works of suicidal ideation and all the hell that comes with it. **I am ok now. inspired by a dissassociative state from years ago, and Sam. Ty Prof. Sam
I use to be DJ and seen how entire cultures form around certain music. Similar mindset replicates withing certain listeners, and there in electronic music is rarely any vocals what could transfer ideas and values to listeners. I always wondered why that happens, but brainwaves would explain the phenomena.
Why is CZcams doing such bullying and what on earth is being done about this? I had no idea. Are they not making any revenue without bullying?
Upload on bichute and provide a link there to combat CZcams's bs
Much love to your work
Xoxoxo
I don’t get advertisements it’s called pay for the app of no advertisements, it’s not just you.
You get perks when you pay, including free music.
NewPipe for Android has no ads and it's basically better than the official app for most content.
(It may have issues with age-restricted videos but if they do occur the solution is apparent.)
@@bobharmen4812 thank you
Really hard to digest when you known it must apply to your life
Kinda of reminds me of what’s going go out there .
Is being told repeatedly thru the relationship, “you did this to yourself” a form of gaslighting?
Anytime they start with “you,” out comes toxic shame right for you. Another way to beat you down so you don’t rise to equality or mutuality.
5 years of antidepressants 3 closed Salons..10 years of Hell thinking im bed person forget that im even Human and without enny boundaries and my own Will ... Evil really exist on this Planet Earth and have human look
I need to see an example or three to understand this
I threw him away but Im struggling with no contact (2 days) , my chest hurts and anxiety with depression are thru the roof😞😞😞
How was your 21st birthday? 😉🎂👍🏻😀
could this be a reason why my narc-ex listened to the same playlist every day and had me listen to it too?
This happened to me to...
Yep
Wow! I'm climbing out of the mess with the help of Professor Vakin. Individuation feels really good!
Vaknin.
My bad.:)
In response to what Doc said, CZcams really is monetizing without notice. They withheld their right to do so in updated terms of agreement as of 2020 November :
CZcams said in an update to its terms of service Wednesday that it has the “right to monetize” all content on its platform. As such, it will start putting ads on videos from channels not in its CZcams Partner Program, which shares ad revenue with creators.Nov 19, 2020
I need help finding a divorce attorney. My husband has left me with nothing. He has been controlling me financially our entire relationship. He made sure to put everything in his name. He has turned everyone against me including our church. He made sure I wouldn't have any support. I have no money. Any help or direction would be greatly appreciated.
There is a video about going to court.
Please stay away from houses of worship. They are havens for psychopaths and narcissists