Resist When Narcissist Triggers Your Inner Voices (Death, God, Life Introjects)
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- čas přidán 8. 03. 2022
- The narcissist implants his introjects (voices) in your mind, using abusive entraining. His voices, in turn, trigger your voices. Here is a map of the narcissist's voices in your mind (D=Death, L=Life, G=God). First letter is his voice in your mind - second letter is your voice triggered by his voice in your mind:
D L (his narcissistic abuse-your survival instincts)
G G (his and your narcissistic defenses)
L D (his narcissistic abuse in order to separate-individuate, your self-sacrifice)
Death voice: You are not lovable, unworthy, inadequate, failure, better off dead.
Can be loved and deserving of life only if perfect (impossible)
Terrified of failure (performance anxiety), the narcissist rejects, disowns, sabotages, and avoids all aspects of life, rendering himself invulnerable by being dead within and without as a form of rigid, proud, defiant, sadistically self-punitive and self-denying ideology. S/he acts entitled and contemptuous (e.g., celibate).
He gives up on and denies his body, health, sex, romance, intimacy, all positive emotions, relationships, family, academic degrees, career, country, language, success, reputation, business, social life, fans, and friends.
With nothing left to take, death voice is appeased and ameliorated by my proximity to actual death, its mission accomplished and it is placated, content to let the narcissist decay and decompose inertly.
God voice: Grandiose, magical thinking, mental illness (cruel false self) eroded by reality (injuries, mortifications).
Life voice: Creativity and cooperation are intermittent, haphazard, corroded by aging and is often too late, failing the narcissist amid cognitive decline.
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I freaking love this guy, can never get enough of him 😂🤣
Amen!!!
Me neither 😂
Lol hands off ladies
Hearing you 💯🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Me too I listen to him everyday.. I don’t listen to music or anything except him 😁
This CZcams channel saved mine and my children's lives 7 years ago. I'm grateful the abuser in our lives is nothing more than the constant headache he is. It could have been so much worse. Thank you.
Psychological cannibalism is such a perfect description
I was with a Narcissit for 35yrs. I left and for the last 5yrs I have been on a journey of rediscovering myself. I have been listening to your videos for about 2yrs. But this particular video…words can not describe what I felt as I listened to your lecture. All those years I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t crazy. Thank you Prof. Vaknin. Thank you for sharing your brilliant insight with the world. Your voice has given understanding and clarity to something that I could not comprehend and I am grateful to you for that.
“You can’t say this has not been cheerful!” 🤣🤣🤣. Sam Vaknin is entertaining and brilliant 🤩 and makes me laugh when I’m not expecting it
Fight back by sticking to your own voice 💕
Yes, your own authentic inner voice telling you sincerely hand on heart that you are loved and you are safe ❤️😎🌞
Man, you are brilliant! My mother had been poisoning my life since my childhood. After she finally and succesfully killed my soul, my inner world turned out to be toxic. I tried to explain to shrinks, whom I visit, that how I felt. I felt that my thoughts had been changed to my mother's ideas. She moved to my head, forcing out my own attitude, replacing them her sick way of thinking.
During my life I heard my mother's sick sentences all the time. I knew that they were dark, fearful, jelaous thoughs, but I wasnt affraid of them. I didnt believe that they could do any harm of me. I observed them with a mixture of sorry and disgust. The last thing I thought that I could ever be infected by her emptiness.
Now I have realized that this was a poison penetrated slowly in my mind.
So when I tried to explain to shrinks and psycholgist that I felt I "had learnt" my mother's poisonous attitude and I started to poison my own life, somehow internalised her, I offered this description as a metaphor.
Listening to you it turned out that it is not a metapore. This is reality. It somehow clarifies what happened, but terrifies me at the same time. Because it doesnt only feel like she revrite my mind, she actually did it.
You have said many times that dealing with a narcissists is a matter of life or death. I realized how true and painful this sentence is.
The same thing happened to me and I have only option left to die or survive as m day by day losing my sanity i don't feel like a normal person
@@caaspirant1942 I am sorry for you. I wish you keep on fighting. After I realized that what happened to me, what was going on in my head, I started to be better step by step. So dont give up, the poison will leave your mind.
I too have a narcissist mother who’s voice is in my head as I have been brainwashed to be her slave as a child she has physically when I was young mentally and emotionally abuse me all my life I am now 60 just seeing the truth and really struggling with her punishing voice in my head. My sister is also a narcissist and my father was a sociopath. He left my mother when I was young. I have had a terrible life not knowing what was wrong with me why I have been compelled and addicted to being in these toxic relationships and not knowing how to get out. As the guilt voice of these people in my brain. It’s very tough as brain washing as a child has really screwed up my life but hearing your story gives me hope and strength to keep going . Will keep listening to Sam too thank you for writing your story to help me.
Thank you very very much Sam you are helping me to finally heal my life which has been a living hell. My mother is a narcissist my father a sociopath this has been a living hell hearing all these voices in my head. It’s so tough. I am now listening to you every day to gain strength to help me to heal. I have never heard anyone ever explain the craziness of living a life with narcissistic family members it’s been tough . I thank you so so much I am listening to you every day to give me strength to heal blessings sent to you
Thank you!
Professor, you say “I am going to do my best”. Your contents are the best help I have found. Thank you.
The more depressed, desperate and empty I became, the more life my mother would gain.
I really appreciate your videos professor Vaknin! But every time it is like a bomb that goes off and everything shatters.
Exactly the same with my mother, but she pretends she cares about me just to get access to my mind where she every day tells me I’m physical ill and according to her she knows more how I feel, think. also never have been able to say one sentence without “it’s the wrong way of thinking. “Finally I have a explanation to why I have heard her voice in my head all the time and struggled with chronic illness my hole life and felt dead.
Sam, thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with the absolute “truth.” I am a physician and in an exact situation that Dr. Vaknin is talking about. I analyzed and re analyzed myself, my narcissist husband, my mind and sanity; so as hard as it is to believe, please listen to every word he says🙏💐 it saves your sanity.
Wow. This actually sounds like what happens to the victims of narcissistic abuse. After years of abuse this is what happens to the victims.
This is excellent!
It can be reduced to one main lesson;
Selfempowerment starts by you saying NO to death implants!
And the way to do that is to be authentic as Authentic as honest as possible
last night i spiraled hard af i have body dysmorphia n possibly bpd n the negative voice inside my head was so cruel n rampant, this helps me so much to distance myself for that, forgive myself for it and understand/learn from it. thank u for what you do it helps so many of us who are blind to how it all works
I have lived everything you have described. Even before I understood specifically what you have identified here, I knew the dynamics of my 40-year husband had changed dramatically and dangerously, and I left immediately and went no contact (thank you for that early advice!). It has been five years and I am surviving and thriving thanks to your amazing professional advice! ❤️
When iam listening this and see many clients faces behind this, its heartbreaking . Thank you prof. S.Vaknin
Thanks you.
Professor, god bless you for bringing so much light on a really dark and dangerous issue
To this day this is the best and most accurate description I have ever heard on Narcissism. Thank you a million times.
Thank you Sam, for your insight on managing the echoes of the narcissist. It has been over two years since I totally disconnected from mine, and I’m still triggered whenever I make a mistake. I always envision her laughing at my misfortune and shaming me for being stupid. It was only after hearing you speak of this, and how to correct it, that I was able to quiet the voice that was torturing me. Peace.
My ex narcissistic partner had very definitely rejected life. He rejected intimacy, relationships, children, learning, career, friends, pets, exercise - everything. He wasn't interested in anything that gives life colour and meaning. He used to say he was looking forward to death, but not in a suicidal or maudlin way. Just resigned to the best option ahead. I found it so sad.
This death voice explains his crack addiction. It utterly obliterated everything for a few brief blissful minutes, he no longer felt the howling wastelands of himself. But eventually this bliss turns to hell and life crept back in and he went back to his dead life and waiting for death.
This is powerful. There can not be invisible abuse with this information and encouragement. I am grateful.
All I wanna say is thank you. This is more than I could ever wish for to recover and move on without too much damage. Understanding the narcissist, knowing I was not the crazy one (all of the time)! It gives me peace! One year now got rid of a violent narcissist. It is a struggle still now, but understanding all these behaviors is just waw amazing! I recognize all the behaviors you are talking abt and met them all unfortunately. Thanks again a million times
As always. Great lecture .
Knowledge is power !
Thank Sam V for sharing your knowledge.
Every time that I am about to fall into the voices the
@$$h0|€ implanted on my mind.
I come to hear you and I remember all poop I took from him and how my own self, got almost destroyed by him.
Thank you again for sharing all this very useful information
I am holding strong almost one year later.
All because of you.
This is my safe space.
Professor, when ex narc discarded me last year, I fantasized going to Macedonia to tell you my story hoping I was going to get “cured” just doing that.
Last night, narc broke the no contact, I had that phone number blocked, I don’t understand how she did it.
Anyway, she started the conversation saying how sorry she was, how much she loved me blah, blah, blah until I said “you have to figure it out on your own”, she was asking for some password she once gave to me to save it for her (service).
The “you have to figure it out on your own” transformed her in a monster with the loudest death voice possible. Thanks to all I have learned from your videos, that didn’t bother me, it actually, made me laugh out loud and have the confirmation that I was dealing with a narc, no doubt. (Devaluation)
I thinking I may be healing finally and I don’t have that fantasy of going all the way to Macedonia to talk to you anymore😁. Thank you Professor, if it wasn’t for your videos I don’t know what could have happened to me!
This must be one of your most important videos for us to understand.
I'll just be over here getting high on Vaknin supply. The more I learn from his teachings, the better I am able to become aware of how my flavor of NPD affects others, and find better ways to meet my own vampiric needs without being detected. Which helps me seem like a "regular" person and get along better in life. I'll never FEEL like changing is necessary or possible, but I certainly understand that life is a game, and that the way I've been playing hasn't gotten me nearly as much of what I've wanted in this life. This is the best I can do. Almost a year of therapy and nothing in my sessions comes as close to being helpful as even one Vaknin vid...
Damn, you could be dope like Sam, work that NPD, don’t let it work you. 💋
love this channel so much, I can listen to you talk for hours but sometimes I have to take breaks Bc it just gets too depressing😭😂
No Sam! Bring back the metaphysics! I must hear more of your thoughts on the tarot!
I've listened to dozens of Sam's videos. I've never heard him mention the tarot before. It was like a light bulb went off inside my head. Brilliant explanation for those internal voices and how to counteract them! Best tarot lesson ever! Thank you, Sam!
@@empress_highpriestess3307 Personally, Gemini moon in the 8th house, part of an Air Grand Trine. Saturn conjunct Scorpio ascendant, showing the heavy presence from day one of an abusive NPD father.
I am overwhelmed by this. Thank you for explaining how these voices work. I must find my life voice now.
One of your best videos, for the victim who knows all that now, it is hard to combine compassion for the narzissist who hurt you so much with the instinct of self-preservation...it is as raising a child....you can always comfort and forgive a child and take it on your hand and guidance, because you're the grown up mother....and your child does not want to destroy you, but with an grown up intimate partner that childish behavior is not acceptable and possible...
I think I will not need a psychologist. You are doing very well the job ❤️ thank you for everything. A Moroccan who loves you by heritage 💕
Here another Moroccan. I m s woman if you like to exchange our experiences. He is the best in this complex subject yes ❤
This is incredible! He never turned me into a narcissist. Thank God!
The voices…thank you beyond words for explaining the processes I didn’t have the words for! This video and the individuation video with Grannon are the explanations I’ve needed! I’ve been in a wonderful marriage for 25 years, but my abuser from 30 years ago is still in my DNA. I see how to heal fully now! Deep respect, Professor. 🙏
Dr Sam Vaknin, thank you so much for this incredible insight into the narcissist’s mind, psyche, whatever… I have never heard anything like it and it opens my own mind. I never understood why my partner keeps talking about death so much (and how he is not afraid of it ) but thanks to you I’m beginning to so I’m ready to fight and find the voice of life. Again thank you so much
Yes…how above life they are…saved and going to heaven but everyone else is in danger of hell. They are a chosen one…so superior…what crap comes out of their mouths!!
Thank you so much. Really lifesaving words. In tears again but in a very good way.
Thank you so much, Prof. Vaknin. What a brilliantly sophisticated and refined, insightful and supportive presentation, graciously offered along with your subsequent videos on your CZcams channels. I am most grateful for your extensive contribution toward my healing and recovery.
Thank you Professor Vaknin, the confusion has lifted. Can't get enough. Won't watch anything else again, this is brilliant stuff. Thankyou
You are fantastic at this Professor Vankin. Excellent video.You have your finger on the pulse like very few do. Thank you always!
This is your very best video!!!
Makes perfect sense!!!!
I've paid this price
You're awesome!!!
Thank you 💖
This gives me hope and understanding, very grateful for your precious and life saving gifts your giving to us! The first time you were helping me was aboutish 2006......2007 I was discarded from very bad narcissist relationship and found in internet your writings and they make me realising what was going on. So thank you mister professor from the bottom of my hart and hoping you will be educating us a long long time here!
You described in perfect detail my STBX to a tee. His early childhood was abusive and during wartime in his country😢 when we met we worked hard to stay married. When he was covert it seemed he finally had hope to change and we were fine for a season. That is until a tour of duty in Iraq which opened the door to full blown overt narcism. He returned with off the hook PTSD, brewed for a season until he broke, blamed his bad life on me, found a new woman to conquer and we are divorcing. I felt dead, crushed, and unable to move forward. He tries to make me feel bad. This video opened my eyes to the patterns and interjects of his death voice-now I know how to heal his voices out of my head. Thank you 🙏🏻 🌻🌻🌻
Dear Sam, thank you! Without you I would still be out there in the mist.
How could anyone disagree with you !! You’re always so on point , it amazes me how you just get it all right . Thank you for sharing your knowledge because only you could get it right
Thank you Professor, this is a big piece of the puzzle that was missing for me personally it makes so much sense. Another ‘wow’ video, you’re videos have been more informative and healing than my own personal therapist, they’re very much appreciated blessings to you 🙏🏻
I appreciate you more and more through the years.
What an excellent video. Thanks Sam.
Such great information, as always. Thank you.
this is so good.So true. It will be at your expense.... "you should suffer" Thank you Sam!
Your “$10 words” are priceless to me. I can imagine you might get tired of explaining a concept over and over again, but I find hearing your descriptions in more than one of your videos more helpful than just listening to one video multiple times.
Excellent explanation. Thanks for making that clear.
Thank you dr Vaknin for helping me understand how corrupted my mind really is.
It was eye opening.
Exceptional professor!!!! We are more than grateful!!!!
Though it may be sought, you are a genius sir. The articulate way you express is extremely useful. Much appreciated!!
Thank you so much for this video and the others you have made. I am receiving such a huge amount of depth from them.
Thank you Sam.. You really gave me some valuable insights with this video.. I would rank it as the best one so far
This is so spot on!
Thank you 😊 This is priceless. ❤️ You are helping us heal.
I promise him and Jordan Peterson are the Saviors and Fathers for this weak & hurting generation. I'm so proud of them! Can you imagine the mental warfare they go through ?
You’ve helped me overcome a cover and overt narcissists. I want to thank you for sharing.
Wow - thank you - this is a literal life saver
This is pure gold... Thank you Prof. Sam Vaknin.
This is the best video yet.
Absolutely priceless! Thank you!
I am so glad this popped up today. After 27 years of torture, I'm finally getting my head on my shoulders, if you know what I mean...
Hearing this made so much sense of the last 27 years.
I now wonder if he had something to do with my eldest's decision to end her life as she was not his biological child. He would use her against me as he is doing with our 2 biological children now during this divorce.
I hope they make it out ok.
Omg I’m so sorry to hear this about everything, your daughter. We must stay away from these narcissistic people
ooooh no, I'm so so so sorry to hear this too
I had such father, but he used my mom against me, as they stayed together for life. I tried once to kill myself (long time ago), it was pretty serious, but I was interrupted last minute and saved, and bc I didn't think of him than it wasn't until now that I realised he didn't even seem to be bothered. He was the reason though, but not in my young consiousnes unfortunately, I was sure he was a very decent guy than in my late 20's
I needed over next 20 years to recognize he had not only mania grandiosa, but most of all he had really no empathy exept the fake one he was showing all around. The abuse is something i'm still realizing and recovering from. So many layers.
It must be hell for you to know what kind of person he is and probably not being able to use it and prove it in the court? I hope your children somehow will see through him much sooner than I managed to do with my father. I wish you all the luck, finger crossed
Thank you for your insight. It's incredibly tough to gain oneself back after the grooming.
We have 2 children together that take his side in the divorce. Where he isn't responsible for the dissolve of our marriage, our relationship. He has our children convinced I haven't ever admitted to any fault in the dissolve but I have. That's the way they work right?
Anywho, I hope the upcoming wedding of one of our children isn't too terribly affected by the divorce proceedings.
I think it’s one of your best videos!!!!! Hard to digest but so true. Thank you Professor Vakin❤❤
Thank you so much for this saving life instructions! I have never seen such clear and complete explanation about the voices I've been hearing inside my mind since I was very young. I am glad to aknowladge this techinique. When we survive from nacisistic abuse, we must keep fighting for inner peace with ourselves for the rest of our lives, even after years of zero contact with the narcisist. I am grateful because I can still go on, live a life, love myself, and not become ill anymore, like I used to be. Thank you so much!
Holy cow. That was incredible.
words cannot express the level of gratitude i feel for having stumbled across your channel..
Yes! That's exactly the scheme of things at play...in hindsight thanks to you Sam I realise I've lived through this...triggering again and again...luckily I pulled back after only 6 months...intensive months .. yes the complexity of narcissism...even with no contact I do at times feel the elements of the 3 stages or archetypes... illuminating Sam thank you
Thanks again, Needed to hear that this week.
Thank you so much for this! I have wondered about why I react to certain things that people say. Your information really helps me and motivates me to work on myself and my reactions to others!
Incredibly insightful. Thank you! I found myself explaining to him that some things are special until i eventually gave up the idea that anything is significant. Excited to recover. Excited to experience special moments again ❤
This video has been very valuable for me when working with Internal Family Systems. Thank you.
Very very potent overwhelmingly courageous information that you have given I am astounded and in all and happy to know what those three voices were because I have been dealing with a a woman which is a little kid and a woman's body and now I know where the source of the core started it and I thank you
I'm just saying THANK YOU SO MUCH for this information .
I love you Sam
Your videos are actually my supply lol I can’t stop listening to them ❤
Thank you so much for your wisdom. You are truly kind
Very good stuff. I'm sold on you and your channel Professor.
Thank you so much professor Sam❤ you clarified with words what I been experiencing for many years
THANK YOU ! SIGH ...It's not MY voice!! But a pesky irritant...now so well defined thank you!
Dear Sam
Thank you. But I am overwhelmed with the "truth". After 40 years of dieing in marriage I developed a movement disorder. I left after a physical incident and I couldnt understand why this divorce had gotten so complicated. I felt physically sick during parts of video yet hopeful that I can rebuild my self. I was afraid I had gone to far to his dark side but you awakened a spark of life and gave me directions on how to deal with the voices. It was just a game forty years of just a game. The grief process is horrible.
I'm proud of you man life is hard ! Thank God for men like this that are brave and courageous enough to tussle with that snake 🐍 and show just how to get free. I do what I can and leave the rest up to Jesus he is that spark and here's a secret if you spend time with him you become like him too. So spend time with your savior I imagine Jesus was a lot like this man and Jordan Peterson man it's a awesome time to be alive
Thank you for this. ❤
Thank you for letting me know!! ❤
Thank you 🙏🏻 this is truly helpful
You are helping me saving my life this morning, I had told this person about a spiritual practice I was doing to get better, he used it to tell me how worthless it was and how I was incompetent at chore, hence non spiritual because he couldn’t see the changes he needed to see from me to deserve his “heart certificate”. Attacking my sense of recovery triggered suicidal thoughts. I want to live and I found this video. I don’t think about death generally around normal people. But I realize that the people that made me think about suicide just looked like normal, quiet, ordinary and even devoted person just like this person. They show their raging self righteousness in the most ordinary unguarded moment that one can drop dead. This video is my only way out of this right now. The pain is real. Despair is real. My prayers to all those suffering from covert criminals(truly feels like it) like these very sick people.
💗💗💗 hang in there. Get as many of those parasites out of your life as you can. Make boundaries your holy grail. It gets better
Thank you. So helpful.
Thank you Sam, thank you
My own voice was so weakened. He would remotely dictate my thoughts. I was dead! I then started listening to an audio version of the book of Psalms. My own voice then came back... slowly. I'm my own person again. Thank you for making sense of this.
Incredibly interesting Sam! Thank you for bringing these understandings to my awareness. Just wish I had access to your lectures years ago. Had no idea who I was really living with for 45 yrs. 😳 Would you have any interpretation of what my now deceased narc husband said to me before his unexpected death when he announced he thought he would outlive me!😳 it has genuinely haunted me. Learned after his death that he had been living a secret life splitting time between myself and a mistress for 7 years! A wishful fantasy???Always denied being unfaithful when I questioned him. I am trying to recover my real self again. Mind boggling to put it mildly. Too many wasted years.
Stunning information and clear and absorbable. I am very grateful. My daily life has much less chaos by recognizing the patterns and projections needs, (actually demands)
of broken peoples costumes of arrogance, superiority, impatience and
stubborn inability to learn.
AND I LOVE THE DRS WIT!!!
Brilliant explanation!!!! Thank you.
I absolutely love these videos they're serious and funny at the same time 😂
Thank you so much, Sir🙏
Amazingly informative video! Thank you!
This is/was what was happening to me 🤪 you are God-sent
Thank you so much prof….love and light
I listened to the original message, and I identified 100%. I get very angry when I hear his voices. It makes me very grumpy because I hate what it tells me. It's like he is here, and he isn't. I am still with him, but when he travels for work for example I can hear him all the time! It's driving me insane and I start to argue with him/myself. It's aggrevating and terrible! I searched this message and am going to listen to Sam Vaknin over and over!
Wow! Same here...I hear him playing guitar.
Also get a bible and replace his words with your creators.
I really admire this awesome brilliant man
Another great lecture
Again...Extraordinary lessons for me, thanks again and again thanks ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks for this amazing info
You are amazing 👏