Before Therapy: Hack Your Mind to Heal, Succeed

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  • čas přidán 23. 04. 2024
  • There is a lot you can do before you resort to therapy. Your mind is a hackable device.
    WATCH Take These 4 Steps BEFORE Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse (with Daria Zukowska Clinical Psychologist) • Take These 4 Steps BEF...
    Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...

Komentáře • 103

  • @MrHDProd
    @MrHDProd Před měsícem +105

    All this knowledge and it’s for free. Thank you 🙏

  • @JC-mv7hf
    @JC-mv7hf Před měsícem +14

    I got 15 hacks not 20 - anyone can compare to the list? 1. Disempower memories (they are your construct)
    2. Control your body, use it to control mind, to heal traumas - do get rid of trauma by using body as trauma is based in the body as much as brain (Social rejection - trauma (=physical assault) = body reacts the same as to physical pain )
    3. When you need to be rational use your second language (it forces you to be unemotional) not mother-tongue as is link to your feeling and unconsciousness
    4. When you feel you are great, superior, treat is as a red flag as it might be a sign of overestimation (danny kruger effect) - grandiosity is counter-factual and people might use it to exploit you
    5. Avoid music combined with other activities - it can loft or lover your mood and impacts the way we process information/ distort reality and decision skills (perceptual expectations - your brain is adapting to what you are listening it expects visually the same so brain might mislead you) - be careful and make time to be listening to music when you need to be rational, logic, decisions, choices, cope with demands
    6. Sing as if reduces anxiety and depression - hearing own voice releases endorfins and ontoxicine - kortizol and … at bay.
    7. Monitor your anxiety and depression and use hacks!/ Negativity is genetic (science) - negative passive - aggressive component/ reaction to stimuli- and is linked to anxiety, but anxiety is not genetic - now students as anxious as patients in the 50s, 4x more - reason is more stress. Anxiety is stress linked.
    8. Be sarcastic - Sarcasm - sign of intelligence and being sarcastic makes you smarter, improves health of your brain, requires understanding, changing perspective, generate humour (creativity, abstractive thinking)
    9. Sunlight - exposure 10min per day - prevents mood disorders by producing vitamin d which stabilises mood (lack promotes depression and disturbs the mood (seasonas depression))
    10. Dopamine- self deny yourself pleasures/ have self-discipline 4-4 times per day o regain control and reactions - to reduce cravings - repetitive behaviours giving pleasure cause dopamine burst and addiction to the behaviours and you require more and more
    11. Sleep - no more or less than 8 hours
    12. Time - to read faster and understand more read long texts, books
    13. Body follows mind and vice versa - when you experience problems focus on what is worse, the other will follow
    14. Self love self acceptance self trust be your best friend and consult yourself when you get problems - only if you cannot help yourself jump to therapy
    15. Do work on yourself before you go to therapy - all resources are in yourself

    • @bellakrinkle9381
      @bellakrinkle9381 Před 8 dny

      I wonder in which language Sam dreams and if he analyzes them. 😁

  • @LostSoulSearching
    @LostSoulSearching Před měsícem +64

    I genuinely appreciate you helping us...helping me.

  • @SELPHELPING
    @SELPHELPING Před měsícem +6

    I have never seen a genius so good at their craft that they literally own it. Hats off to you Professor Vaknin. It just keeps getting better.

  • @maryvera123
    @maryvera123 Před měsícem +20

    Professor Vaknin is at it again! Sharing his knowledge to help us attain serenity and peace
    of mind.

  • @elinaselene
    @elinaselene Před měsícem +25

    So much needed to hear this today as I'm decluttering my mind and body after a narcissistic relationship. I don't want to go to the first self styled expert claiming to heal me, instead I want to reclaim myself in the most intuitive way my mind and body can guide me. The hack on sleep and sunlight I needed to hear although knowing these are the first things I need to start with to get healthy again. Thank you Sam.

  • @JC-mv7hf
    @JC-mv7hf Před měsícem +23

    This video is my new Bible

    •  Před měsícem +4

      please don't say that, becoming a sister/nun saved me from suicide. we need god back into this barren world, I'm willing to do my sacrifice after nursing school. pray even if you feel nothing.

  • @vivasurvivor
    @vivasurvivor Před měsícem +29

    Revolutionary topic 🤯
    @Prof. Sam Vaknin 🏆 Thank you for these mental hacks. Pure genius!

  • @TheDaoOfRescue
    @TheDaoOfRescue Před měsícem +26

    I like the point about treating psychological pain using the body. I will write an article about this and send it to ya. Acupuncture has been used as a form of psychological therapy for thousands of years; but the western sciences are just catching up. So it’s good to know the west is finally bridging the gap and figuring out that the acupuncture points are what is holding the trauma in different points of the body.

    • @minor12828
      @minor12828 Před měsícem +1

      Very intersting. I though it was more about stress relief.

    • @TheDaoOfRescue
      @TheDaoOfRescue Před měsícem +3

      @@minor12828 much deeper than that. Sadly most of the high level practitioners were whacked during the communist revolution so most don’t get that type of training anymore. It’s kind of a shell of its former self so to speak. But still moderately helpful in its lower level forms.

  • @katharinaleitner2763
    @katharinaleitner2763 Před měsícem +7

    The first hack about memory is about being aware of reconsolidation? I concluded

  • @allannielsen5308
    @allannielsen5308 Před měsícem +11

    Der Sam Vaknin, thank you for telling the very essential and fundamental truth, but it requires something more then just what we can read in BOOKS, my deeo respect and deep gratitude for you effort and unique work. Sincerly 🙏🏼

  • @SELPHELPING
    @SELPHELPING Před měsícem +2

    My parents were never invested in all three children. They were emotionally absent and believed that love means clothing educating refusing conversations with opposite gender etc. Sam. You are round about my mother’s age. I look upto you as a parent. As a guiding light. The one I could go to for to seek answers. Thank you for being present in this era.

  • @debraparker6404
    @debraparker6404 Před měsícem +5

    I do wake about 3:00 am and have blood sugar history. But not diabetic yet. Thank you for your information.

  • @samueleriksson9535
    @samueleriksson9535 Před měsícem +4

    I have trained myself to be as unaffected by music as I want. It was not my goal and I did not know it was possible to do so.
    It slowly happened when I started listening to a large variety of music on shuffle, then forcing myself to not switch song because I was in a certain mood from the last song.
    Then I started to take the moods induced from the music less seriously.

  • @Rev_Oir
    @Rev_Oir Před měsícem

    After nine years of beatings and "accidental" poisonings, followed by decades of gaslighting by my family, I have been diagnosed with CPTSD.
    Thanks for helping me put their abuse into perspective, Sam.

  • @Serenissima5969
    @Serenissima5969 Před měsícem +2

    Omg..this is the most modern advice for mental health I ever heard!!!!
    Thank you so much for your astonishing talk!!
    People like you,Mr.Vaknin,help humanity evolve out of the dark ages/ Middle Ages! of therapeutic treatment of the human mind and soul..it is so needed!!!!
    Your a light in the darkness and hope for the better to come!!!
    Stay as you are,so conscious..so truthful..so open minded ..so not anxious of sharing all your wisdom!!!!
    Everything you talk about is enormous! helpful!!!!
    Thank you so much from the depth of my heart
    ❤️
    I

  • @phinton314
    @phinton314 Před měsícem +8

    Thank you so much! You are changing lives for the best!

  • @debraparker6404
    @debraparker6404 Před měsícem +4

    That’s good to hear about sarcasm. LOL I love sarcasm!

  • @prince13x
    @prince13x Před měsícem +9

    Could anxiety/depression not be increasing, but instead the acceptable range of emotional expression is becoming more narrow? As our views on beauty becomes more narrow, more people identify/are identified as “ugly”/insufficient. Couldn’t the same be happening with mental illness?

  • @monyrachan8568
    @monyrachan8568 Před měsícem +10

    I love the topic of today that you share with us Pro. Sam !

  • @ChrisKnight-ow3ix
    @ChrisKnight-ow3ix Před měsícem +1

    This is so helpful. The stuff about the brain reacting to emotional traumas the same as physical trauma, helps me understand a lot of things. Like, why I need to walk for at least an hour daily to be able to sleep st night; why a hot bath is so soothing when distressed & maybe why addiction to opioids- strong physical pain killers-is so common amongst emotional trauma sufferers.
    Thanks for the content that is always specific& substantive- not like all the vague & unsatisfying waffle that abounds.

  • @greglee4897
    @greglee4897 Před měsícem +4

    Thank you for making this video it was very helpful

  • @whygohome172
    @whygohome172 Před měsícem +3

    Some people have discovered the healing power of fasting!

  • @carlacrystal955
    @carlacrystal955 Před měsícem +8

    The wisest of men knew that he knew nothing

  • @Olca88
    @Olca88 Před měsícem +7

    Thank u..

  • @Deiacatlover
    @Deiacatlover Před měsícem +5

    Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @carlacrystal955
    @carlacrystal955 Před měsícem +4

    Fascinating 🙌🏽

  • @ravenousraven60
    @ravenousraven60 Před měsícem +1

    Thank you, Professor.

  • @Summahtyme
    @Summahtyme Před měsícem +1

    So grateful for this channel!! Thank you 🙏

  • @stevenday5448
    @stevenday5448 Před měsícem +1

    Brilliant hacks! 🙏🏼

  • @Mountlougallops
    @Mountlougallops Před měsícem +2

    Thank You Sam.

  • @onlinelddersbandara1822
    @onlinelddersbandara1822 Před měsícem +1

    Thank you

  • @dianeoneil5376
    @dianeoneil5376 Před měsícem +3

    Thank you as always for this invaluable information and advice!

  • @ritariverbass8593
    @ritariverbass8593 Před měsícem

    What a great video! Thank you so much.

  • @scalab1
    @scalab1 Před měsícem +2

    Thoughts to ponder! I appreciate you, Sam Vaknin.

  • @kosmos229
    @kosmos229 Před měsícem

    Thank you so much for sharing.

  • @ik71399
    @ik71399 Před měsícem +3

    You are Gold 🥇

  • @JC-mv7hf
    @JC-mv7hf Před měsícem +2

    I do buy time by outsourcing things other can do.

  • @michelewalton9358
    @michelewalton9358 Před měsícem +2

    Thank you for such an informative and useful video.

  • @jackoneil3933
    @jackoneil3933 Před měsícem

    Brilliant Sam! A must hear and share for everyone!

  • @danielbarak3148
    @danielbarak3148 Před měsícem

    Thank you Sam for the amazing sharing information...

  • @vpoppv
    @vpoppv Před měsícem +4

    Excellent tips, but OMG I just realized I never had a romantic relationship in my mother tongue! Luckily, most of my self talk is in English so I'm good there, but in retrospect I've always had good chemistry with the opposite sex when talking in my mother tongue. I'm so curious if the dynamics would be different....

  • @sylviefirestone9624
    @sylviefirestone9624 Před měsícem

    Merci, danke, tak, gratitude for all the free truth!

  • @Fddt-HetField
    @Fddt-HetField Před měsícem

    The best Prof ..👌👍

  • @user-ju8fn8fu9s
    @user-ju8fn8fu9s Před měsícem

    Thank you so much Dear Professor Sam Vaknin❤ ❤❤

  • @debraparker6404
    @debraparker6404 Před měsícem +4

    I sing while I drive.

  • @dorothywest2053
    @dorothywest2053 Před měsícem

    Combined self counseling with a professional counseling. Thanks for the information

  • @JC-mv7hf
    @JC-mv7hf Před měsícem +3

    What if you chose the right music which helps you decide, makes the choice stronger and helps you cope?

  • @cnunex1766
    @cnunex1766 Před měsícem

    #21 use your talents to help others. Thank you professor for enriching our lives with your content

  • @Dan-zs9uf
    @Dan-zs9uf Před měsícem +2

    I am glad that you brought that up, with thinking in another language: may I ask, regarding the inner voice after narcissistic abuse, if the victim thinks in a foreign language, unknown to the abuser, is that the narcissist voice implanted in the victim abuse due conditioning or the true own inner voice?

  • @bellakrinkle9381
    @bellakrinkle9381 Před 8 dny

    Recovering from Narcissistic abuse can be the path to deep self awareness that can lead to individual Sovereignty and self Agency. Psychoanalysis is not complete unless Agency is discovered.
    Unless one's voice is free to speak, analysis is not finished. 😵‍💫

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před 8 dny

      Watch the NA Healing playlist.

  • @jonathantrautman
    @jonathantrautman Před měsícem +1

    Thank you, Dr. Vaknin
    Something that trips me up is thinking, if my memories are constantly rewritten and unreliable, and if I am an irrational actor, how and why should I trust myself/feel efficacious?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem +2

      Social reality is constructed to yield positive outcomes when you are irrational and emotional.

    • @jonathantrautman
      @jonathantrautman Před měsícem

      @@samvaknin It's like a faith of sorts!
      Thank you, Dr.!

  • @north_mesa
    @north_mesa Před měsícem +4

    A healthy mind can not live within an unhealthy body.

  • @ana988
    @ana988 Před 9 dny

    BIG like 🥇

  • @daathdorothiel
    @daathdorothiel Před měsícem +1

    I have selective amnesia and don't mind break ups for the teachings. Curious about the further advices. Thank you Prof.

  • @daathdorothiel
    @daathdorothiel Před měsícem +2

    Question: if I don't get the time to get more than 3 hours of sleep for a couple days, and I'm sleeping on other days 12-15 hours instead (less time than the undersleeping days) for being a student and working in multiple places and first of all medicine... What is to expect? Autistic burnout is what I am experiencing lately.

  • @MrNobodyfromfrance
    @MrNobodyfromfrance Před měsícem +2

    🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
    [00:02] 🧠 The human mind is incredibly complex and not fully understood by psychology.
    [00:28] 💡 This talk will focus on 20+ science-backed hacks to help you heal and succeed in life.
    [01:50] 🪞 We tend to identify with our minds, making it difficult to separate ourselves from our thoughts.
    [02:30] 🧠 Memory is not like a library with perfect recall. We reconstruct memories each time we remember them.
    [04:43] 🤯 This means our memories are not always accurate representations of the past, but rather reflections of ourselves.
    [05:10] 🧠 Memories are subjective and shaped by emotions, not objective recordings of the past.
    [05:26] 😔 Understanding this can help reduce the power negative memories hold over us.
    [05:52] 💪 We can be the "masters" of our memories, re-interpreting them to lessen their traumatic impact.
    [06:19] disempowerment emoji Disempowering memories involves recognizing them as subjective creations, not absolute truths.
    [07:14] 🤔 Fun fact: We tend to remember objects and people from a specific angle, known as the canonical perspective.
    [08:25] 💔 Our brains don't differentiate between social rejection and physical pain, leading to intense emotional suffering.
    [10:04] 💪 Physical activity can be a powerful tool to manage emotional pain caused by rejection.
    [10:30] 🧠 Many trauma therapies focus on the body's role in healing, as trauma can be stored within the body.
    [11:08] 🤯 Social rejection is often misinterpreted by the brain as a physical attack, hence the intense emotional suffering.
    [11:37] 🤔 Counterintuitive hack: Thinking in a different language can promote rational decision-making by reducing emotional bias.
    [14:20] 🧠 Our first language carries emotional baggage and can cloud rational thinking during decision-making.
    [14:57] 🧠 Our first language is tied to emotions, while other languages can promote more rational thinking.
    [16:33] 🧠 The Dunning-Kruger effect: Less intelligent people tend to overestimate their intelligence.
    [17:41] ⚠️ Be cautious of excessive self-praise; it might indicate a lack of self-awareness and hinder your ability to learn.
    [18:59] ⚠️ Thinking you're too smart can make you vulnerable to manipulation and scams.
    [19:12] 🎶 Music can significantly impact your mood, both positively and negatively.
    [20:05] 🧠 Perceptual expectation: Our brains anticipate visual input when we hear music, influencing how we process information.
    [20:57] 🧠 Music can synchronize brainwaves, impacting cognitive function.
    [21:11] 🎧 Avoid multitasking with music when you need to focus, analyze, or make decisions.
    [23:22] 🎤 Singing is a powerful tool to reduce anxiety and depression, even if you're not a skilled singer.
    [24:55] 🧬 Negativity can be influenced by genetics, with some people predisposed to negative thinking.
    [26:02] ❓ Anxiety might not be solely genetic, as its prevalence has significantly increased in recent years.
    [27:19] 🌎 Increased stress and a harsh reality contribute to the rise of mental health issues today.
    [27:49] 🧠 Sarcasm, while often perceived negatively, can actually improve brain health and is a sign of intelligence.
    [28:55] 🧠 Sarcasm requires quick wit, creativity, and the ability to understand complex ideas.
    [30:03] ☀️ Sunlight exposure helps combat depression, potentially due to vitamin D production.
    [32:16] 🪴 Treat yourself like a plant: give yourself sunlight, which is essential for mood regulation.
    [32:42] 🧠 Dopamine is linked to both pleasure and desire, and repetitive addictive behaviors can stem from dopamine release.
    [33:37] 💪 Self-denial can be a powerful tool to break addictive cycles.
    [33:49] 🧠 Self-denial can help break the cycle of pleasure and desire driven by dopamine.
    [34:58] 💪 Breaking the cycle of addiction: Deny yourself the things you crave for 10 minutes, 3-4 times a day.
    [35:24] 😴 Sleep is crucial for physical and mental health. Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night.
    [36:06] ⚠️ Oversleeping is just as bad for your health as undersleeping.
    [37:43] 😴 Prioritize deep sleep for optimal health and cognitive function.
    [39:27] 📚 The ideal line length for reading speed and comprehension is 100 characters.
    [40:21] 🧠 Mental health and physical health are interconnected. A bad mood can lead to physical problems.
    [41:02] ⚖️ Prioritize treating the root cause of your suffering, whether mental or physical.
    [41:43] 💪 Self-help hacks like self-love and self-acceptance can be as effective as medication for treating mental health issues.
    [42:13] 🤝 Trust yourself and seek professional help only if self-help measures fail consistently.
    Made with HARPA AI

  • @minor12828
    @minor12828 Před měsícem +1

    That's why i can approach a girl in english so easily but in spanish 😑.
    That about the memory breaks my mental model. I 've been thinking that memory worked like a 'linked list' in computer science. Chunks of memory pointing to another until you access the 'whole' picture or at least what's remembered. I need to to check the literature.

  • @joycejoin
    @joycejoin Před 28 dny

    "Thank you, Professor Sam Vaknin!" When I go to sport, should I think about the situation, or is that not necessary?

  • @JC-mv7hf
    @JC-mv7hf Před měsícem

    What about other noises when we do think, make decisions? I listen to music as it overlays the other noices, give me the control over what I am listening to

  • @user-fx3sj1vf5q
    @user-fx3sj1vf5q Před 21 dnem

    So, my narcissistic ex, left the country to avoid paying child support to our now adult child with a developmental disability.. now, he still refuses to send me money, unless I almost beg for it.. I ask him because I need the financial assistance. Should I just give up, and leave him alone?

  • @CountessCarmilla
    @CountessCarmilla Před měsícem +1

    So I feel the body hack one is a bit vague. I am guessing if I am feeling upset over something then exercise it out? Physically get out your aggression I suppose, but I am not soo certain it is that simple.

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem +2

      Learn more about about body-mind therapies.

  • @debraparker6404
    @debraparker6404 Před měsícem +1

    What about cooking?

  • @debraparker6404
    @debraparker6404 Před měsícem +2

    Does sunlight also make you sleep better?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem +8

      Only if you are exposed to it in the morning.

  • @JediMindtrick91
    @JediMindtrick91 Před 28 dny

    About the „dont think in your mothertongue“. My „mothertongue“ is Farsi, i grew up in Germany and think and speak in German. I usually consume content in English language and I am able to think in English as well, because its less complex than German. Thinking in programming language sounds low resolution. Any suggestions?

  • @Watermelonn8990
    @Watermelonn8990 Před měsícem

    Sam, since you mentioned speed reading, do you do it? If so, how many words per minute or pages per hour can you read? Thank you

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem +3

      700 words per minute. I have eidetic memory, so this helps.

    • @Watermelonn8990
      @Watermelonn8990 Před měsícem

      @@samvaknin you are like an intelligent Rain man :)

  • @elodiedupont9672
    @elodiedupont9672 Před měsícem

    Amazing tips Sam 😊
    Do primary psycopaths need less hours of sleep than the average population (eg. like 5 hours of sleep per night) ?
    Thanks.

  • @SofiaReyes1662-tq5cf
    @SofiaReyes1662-tq5cf Před měsícem

    What can you do to improve decision making if you are monolingual?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem +1

      Acquire a second language.

  • @kasiakas
    @kasiakas Před měsícem

    What if I have 'music and songs' in my head most of the time?

  • @yuno555gasai5
    @yuno555gasai5 Před měsícem +1

    Psychopath have a lot of narcissism in them how to know if someone is a narcissist or a psychopath if in some way one is the part of the other.

  • @DenizeSmedley
    @DenizeSmedley Před měsícem

    Do you believe in hypnosis for getting rid of trauma?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem

      No.

    • @DenizeSmedley
      @DenizeSmedley Před měsícem

      @@samvakninHow do you get rid of trauma bonds from being in a relationship with a narcissist?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem +1

      @@DenizeSmedley Watch the Narcissistic Abuse Healing playlist.

  • @NECCO8001
    @NECCO8001 Před 16 dny

    New ToDo List: I'm A Plant. Herbaceous. Flowering. 1. Break up and aerate soil with Vankin videos . . .

  • @randomgal269
    @randomgal269 Před měsícem

    I am surprised to know that you speak Arabic, why did you learn it? Is it because your father is of Moroccan decent?! I'd really like to hear you say something in Arabic! Do you speak the classical Arabic, or some sort of middle eastern dialect?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před měsícem +2

      Fuskha, al-lughati 'l-adhabiya.

    • @randomgal269
      @randomgal269 Před měsícem

      @@samvaknin oh wow, that is so cool. I see what you did there with "fuskha" 😂.

  • @Anixxo24
    @Anixxo24 Před měsícem

    Vous êtes un génie Sam Vaknin. Souvent je pense que Le Trés Haut fait des dons spéciaux aux juifs, ils sont son peuple après tout.

  • @440civil
    @440civil Před 24 dny

    I like to listen music and play chess meanwhile and it works

  • @albertonielsen3178
    @albertonielsen3178 Před měsícem +1

    Help each other!!!

  • @BarbaraGray-tm6lz
    @BarbaraGray-tm6lz Před měsícem

    Thank you