r/AITA for Tricking My Mean Teacher?
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:06 Adopted
3:50 Snacks
8:06 Wedding
11:54 Event rule
14:43 Stop interrupting
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Story 2: This was all over $2 of snacks. A whole feud and insanity over $2. Seriously, I don't understand why this even happened?
this lady burned a bridge with a friendly fellow parent over $2... I'm poor and cheap and even I think that's absurd. Kid is hungry now, work out the extra 'missing' goldfish later
That is how her daughter will lose a friend because her mom is really stingy
Entitlement
Yeah op has some major issues to work on, you get to benefit from these fun outings for your daughter because her friends mom is kind and generous... And you can't spend $2 on a snack once in a blue moon?
so she pays for OP and his/her daughter to get in to a park every time. OP is the cheap one
I would be *so embarrassed* asking someone to venmo me 2 dollars for a snack. Then she doubled down and took it to the internet. HOW ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED
Lol I read that last line in Charlotte Dobre's voice
@@HelgaGrace2007same lol
Especially after they spent a bunch of money treating me and my kid to an outing.
She definitely should be embarrassed and I hope comments are eviscerating her. She needs to give a big apology on hands and knees to try and save her daughters friendship.
I cannot imagine whats going on in her head to think "I'm okay mooching off the mom of my daughters friend for free park visits and fun activities but how dare they expect me to pay $2 of MY OWN MONEY on a snack?!" makes her look good. Shes disgustingly selfish and entitled.
And how are you upset they are being petty in return. Why are you so stubborn about 2$ after having your way paid for by her and her husband constantly.
You can't snap at someone and be surprised they treat you how you treated them. You didn't want to buy her anything for 2 dollars, so why shouldn't she ask to be paid back the money she spent on yours?
As someone who's on the spectrum and has a dark sense of humor as well, story 3 just kept making me angrier and angrier. Op's family is being absolutely toxic. Lilith doesn't have a dark sense of humor, she's just an asshole and a bigot. Don't give in to inviting them
Right? She’s not trying to be funny she’s just being an ass,
And if others are willing to side with Lilith then they show how they really feel about OP and shouldn’t be invited as well. They’ll find out soon enough when Lilith no longer has OP to pick on and she picks another target.
@@lorilancaster5917I'm also on the spectrum and unfortunately a lot of people have this attitude of "You're already a burden so be grateful we're putting up with you and act gracious with how we treat you". And it's not just for neurodivergencies but physical disabilities as well, people expect all to be eternally kind, patient, full of grace while they get to treat us however they personally think we deserve as "others" and God forbid if we ever make a "normal" person feel uncomfortable or embarrassed!
Sorry, this shit gets on my nerves a lot.
Same. If family members were to treat me that way, I'd go ahead and go no contact.
Sadly, I think OP realizes they are toxic, but feels helpless. The fact that she is 19 and marrying a 28 year old as soon as possible, is generally the hallmark of an abused kid trying to find a way out of the abusive home. Unfortunately, that primes them, as well as makes them greater targets, for abusers that will marry and isolate them. I hope her fiance is just a good guy, but how many late 20's good men are hanging around high schools looking for a spouse?
NO ONE OUTSIDE THE FAMILY SHOULD EVER TELL A KID THEY ARE ADOPTED, no matter the reason, as this is messed up. How do they know the kids home life (like on of OP's dad's being his bio dad and the other genetically his uncle) What if the kid's parents were murdered or something or the kid was abandoned. That Substitute teacher messed up big time!
Yea it really is messed up
FR ! its no damn business of any teacher what type of family a student has or what their home life is like. JFC. She should get written up.
Furthermore, even if the child knows, never EVER announce personal info like that in front of the entire class 🙄😧 it’s nobody’s business and kids might receive negative repercussions if certain information makes them “easier to bully”.
The only blessing for that story is that OP didn't have a traumatic beginning of life and had an amazing malicious response. That sub really f-ed up
Lilliths sense of humor is like a wedding invitation.
Not everyone gets it.
Schrodinger’s douche bag.
She is both serious and joking until she sees the reaction of the room
Oooooh-hoo-hoo-hooo! Absolutely SAVAGE, I LOVE it! 😂☠
(Air horn sound effect)
OP should say to them "Oh you didn't get an invitation? That's just my dark sense of humor. Can't you take a joke?"
Exhaling sharply through my nose because of this
Story 3: i was so fucking gobsmacked by the message she sent to OPs fiance i actually had to sit slackjawed and wide eyed laughing into my hands for like 5 minutes. what in the FRESH hell is going through her mind. ableists are out here saying things you couldnt waterboard out of me
I hope for OP her future hubby is a good man (the age difference is kinda unusual and a bit sus) because i know from experience that a lot of people pray on us because some thing fly over our heads
But from what i can see he is okay lets hope that stays
Anyone else hoping OP blasts that text message on social media? If Lilith really thinks she’s funny then she wouldn’t mind if OP shared the “joke”
@@juliaboskamp9666 No cos same Ive also been in the Austism Predator Relationship, side eye
@@juliaboskamp9666 FACTS
THAT LAST LINE. Perfection.
Story one: I am a student teacher, graduating soon. That is a violation of FERPA (Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act). She could lose her job for that, even if she's not a liscenced teacher, it's still a violation of FERPA, and could lose the school's federal funding.
Yeah, the councilor should be WAY more concerned than she’s giving off.
I'm a writing teacher. There's a few problems with this as a FERPA violation; one being that if this is a workshop model writing class or anything akin to where student share their writing with their classmates all of the information that we're deeming private here has been willingly disclosed by the student themselves. The second problem is that the parents names is "directory information" which isn't privileged information. Her presuming the student was adopted wasn't based on information that shouldn't be disclosed but her own wrong guess. If she had made a comment about how they could write about growing up with their aunt as their mom, THEN it would be a FERPA violation because that would ostensibly be information that is not found in a directory.
@@Kitsuiko Yeah, it would probably still apply as private and privileged information, because if a student is living with someone other than a parent who is functioning as guardian, that would have to be indicated in the student's record (as in who reports would be mailed to, who to call as the person with the authority to make decisions, etc).
Damn
But, it isn't. That's still literally directory information. We have access to see WHY a student wouldn't be living with a parent -- court order, for example. THAT part is privileged information. But I could, for example, ask a student who they would prefer for me to call about something between "X" and "Y" with those letters representing said adults names out loud, and still be fine. If a parent WAS NOT allowed to be contacted, that is privileged. @@tinydancer7426
How is it that a long term sub has any right to know, let alone air out publicly a students home life, regardless if they're wrong?
fr
I really hope this teacher got reported. She was clearly showing prejudice against OP and his family.
Exactly what I'm wondering, there's teachers that I had really cordial almost friendly relationships with in high school and even they didn't know details like my family life, I'm a little stumped on how has this random sub been allowed to have access to anything that exposes a student's close family relations
How old are you? Not at all saying this in a condescending way, just curious because a lot of the "old school" tenured teachers and subs I had were like this and I'm 31.
@@kaylawoodbury230840+. If my personal life was brought up inappropriately in school, that sub probably wouldn't have remained a sub for long
Story 2: 4:37 so she pays for you to get in to a park every time and you couldn’t give her in your words “50 cent” bag of goldfish smh
Miserable cow! She's ruined a friendship with meanness!
Good to know OPs kindness is transactional. She has likely now made it harder for her kid to make friends at no fault of her(the kid) own.
@lorilancaster5917 It's not even transactional! She is just straight leeching!
OP: I'm so lucky to have a friend like mine. Our daughters are best friends, and the playdates are paid for by her 😊...😡 But that b*tch is crazy if she thinks I'm buying her kid a snack.
I would have brought up exactly how much it cost to get into the park and followed up with "what you a broke ass bitch that you need to leech off everyone else." But I'm also not a nice person like she was.
Last story: We have a term for what that lady was doing. It’s called “Trauma Dumping”, and she needs to dump her trauma on a qualified therapist, not random people she runs into out and about who can do nothing for her anyway. Barring a therapist, a friend or family member who cares for her and is willing to listen. Not random employees or strangers.
I honestly read autism on the lady. The rate of diagnosis in women is really low and not reading the is a criteria
Especially people just wanting to live their life! Read the room! If they want consolation from strangers they can go online. Yes I see the irony
I could sympathize if OP hadn’t then stated the lady thought it was ok to interrupt their work because she had cancer. That made me think she was doing it for sympathy or attention or something.
I saw an employee at a store who also seemed to be trying to get out of a conversation with a customer but she was just an elderly lady who wanted to talk I guess lol So I saw another nearby employee and told her they might have to “rescue” their coworker by telling her they needed her for something. But the lady in the story was just deliberately being rude.
@@lorilancaster5917 I think it's only ironic on the surface. If they're doing it in something like a reddit or facebook post other people can choose whether or not they want to engage. They're aren't trapping strangers in a socially awkward situation that they can't get out of without feeling rude themselves. There's also groups online specifically for things like that. So I agree, they can make a post online if they want to trauma dump on strangers.
I know someone who does this and it makes me so uncomfortable when they do it. the random lady waiting for the bus doesn't want to hear about your issues, she's got her own problems. i've tried to tell them to stop but they shrug me off saying it's fine and that everyone does it. they really just dont care.
Yeah the substitute in story 1 was WAY out of line. That whole exchange was super unprofessional. Even if OP actually WAS adopted, you don't just single kids out like that. OP did absolutely nothing wrong
In my opinion OP did something wrong. She didn't take this further. That teacher could use a lesson on privacy regarding students' personal information.
@@annika5893kids don't have the responsibility to be more mature than a authoritative figure
Revealing a student's personal details without their permission is actually super-illegal. he sort of thing that the school can be fined for under federal and state student privacy laws.
The teacher should be fired for telling students private information it sounds like a lawsuit
Yeah, but none of that was private information.
@@Kitsuiko any home information is private between teacher and student not for them to announce it even if everyone does know
Actually yes it is. I work for Verizon and my mom is a SPED teacher and a big chunk of my job is protecting peoples personal info (we refer to it as CPNI) while it's not the same thing I know from my mom how important protecting students info is and things like adoption (even if she was wrong about it) are protected information even if the student were relatively open about it no one but the student has any right to announce it to an entire room full of people like the teacher did. Super unethical and disrespectful.
Also not being condescending but just genuinely trying to be helpful, you should really look into what is confidential information because there is a lot more to it than you may realize and I've found it to actually be pretty valuable info that much of which I was unaware of. Even if your job does not require it, it's good to know for your own protection because this teacher is definitely asking for a lawsuit.
It's at the very least a violation of the Privacy Act. Which she should be fired for.
Yea really
Story 3: Just throw away the whole family. "Don't invite this horrid individual? Then we wont come either!" Fine, less money for me to spend!
Exactly! They can take that money and do a destination wedding or something. That family would just ruin their day anyway.
To quote Tsun Tsu, "Don't interrupt the trash while it is in the process of taking itself out." Probably
@@ScooterBond1970 😆
I will never understand how people think someone with autism is basically “R-worded” like WTF is wrong with some people.
It a long story but it has something to to do ww2 camps where Hans Asperges was the one that "discovered" autism. If you were to much to handel you were a mental r-word and he would sent you to the ww2 camp because in his words you are a burden to your family if your to autistic
Well to be honest autistic or not, no one on this planet should be considered an "R-Word".There is however quite a large autism spectrum, and unfortunately a lot of those people do need special help.
And only the scum of the earth deserve to be called an it. Lilith was a bully plain and simple. By not defending OP, Marcus is pathetic and will likely drive his family away once Lilith sinks her claws in them.
@@dannyb1441 you have a very valid point
The r-word is just a slur that means sub-humanly stupid at this point. Nobody should be called that because that because no human is sub-human.
Last story: Trama dumping like that on a stranger is honesty one of the rudest things ppl do. I used to work for (Insert Big Chain Coffee) and literally everyday I got to hear a new sob story, plus the same one 15 times over from a few regulars. It got to the point I was going to my own therapist venting abt *THEIR* problems as if they were mine simply cause I couldn't handle so many ppl pouring out their entire life story over a Frappuccino at 9am.
NTA, cashiers/baristas/ppl who are not your therapists are....guess what....not your therapists!🎉
Totally getcha. People do the same thing to me, and I work in a liquor store. It's a lot to take in, especially when I've got so much of my own shit to deal with. I'm sorry you go thru this too.
Bartender here, I keep one earbud in and listen to Warhammer lore when folks trauma dump on me now.
@@thisistherevolt Smart. You're a member of one of the most notorious target professions for trauma dumping.
When customers take advantage of the "How are you doing today?" By the employee as an opportunity to dump 10+ years of angst on them! 🤦
As a trans woman i would rather be called "he" then "it". If somebody called me "it" i would assume that person genuinely hates my existence as a human being.
Yeah, only refer to someone by it if they ask. I know a person that uses they/them/it/its as pronouns and they are always laughing at folks who can't do it. Like our friend who will literally stutter instead of using it. As she's a decent human and doesn't like dehumanizing our friend.
@@thisistherevolt I use she her and sometimes family members will say he she. Not one or the other. Both. One after the other. For example "yeah I think he she wants a fanta"
@@supersniffer9632 That sucks and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
Hey OP. We don’t know each other, but I appreciate your existence. :)
@supersniffer9632 I just don't understand why people wouldn't just call you "she" if that's how you prefer to be addressed. Like, I just can't figure why people don't respect that.
Story 3: despite the age difference from the post it looks like Op’s husband is completely on her side. Because when Lilith sent those text to Op’s husband he was absolutely livid. So I do hope to say 0/5 buttholes for the husband. Even though there is a bit of a age difference he seems to be on Op’s side
also OP said there was no grooming
And seems to more family to OP than her actual family. Hopefully her in-laws are wonderful
@@GiordanDiodatoa grooming victim in a relationship never thinks they've been groomed. I'm not saying OP was groomed, I'm just saying that OP saying they weren't groomed isn't valid evidence against grooming
Reminds me of op from the devin story, she married someone who was ages with her mum and dad (15 year age gap) and the husband had gone out his way to protect op when op’s mum tried to stab her then took a bullet for op. I don’t think that relationship is toxic they both saved each other. Some age gap relationships can be toxic but others can be absolutely beautiful if properly balanced
@@WishGender even though they're both adults.
Not only is the sub ta but so is the counselor. A teacher is out here throwing out information she has no reason to know but they think op shouldn't have defended themself?
Story 2: I would have been offering to buy snacks, the other mom wouldn’t even have to ask.
Exactly. I would have packed extra just in case.
@@_cosmic_void That's how I am. I like to have extra just in case the need arises.
@@_cosmic_voidI'm a chronic over packing snack mom/grandma too.
Even at football games watching my grandkiddos. All their friends know who has the bag full of snack food lol.
Nothing like driving through town with the top down on my jeep to hear. "HI gramma! Love you!" LOL. And not having a clue who it is lol.
If someone is paying my way into a park/zoo you know I'm going to have a small cooler full if drinks/snacks for everyone.
Story 2: YTA. You are risking your kid's friendship with their friend over *TWO DOLLARS!* *TWO. DOLLARS.* You have been taking advantage of Sophie's mom for a long time, and the one time she ask for something, you blow up at her, over TWO DOLLARS. Her mom is too nice and an absolute saint for not calling you out for mooching off her for so long. You are literally a Karen here, OP. Just pay her the damn 2 dollars, it's not even that much.
At this point OP should get down to her hands and knees, apologize, and reimburse for the snacks and the admission fee
@@lorilancaster5917 Doubtful, OP is way too prideful to apologize. And if she refuses to pay 2 dollars, what makes you think she will?
@@dracko158 I’m saying what she should do. Not what I think she will do.
@@lorilancaster5917 I know, given how she wrote the story, I doubt she will.
6/5 a-holes.
Story 3: she’s calling her the r-word and her family is just like “get over it” that’s crazy everyone gets 5 out of 5 cause wtf
Anyone else thinking Marcus was favored more?
I don't see the issue with using ''r-word'', anyone getting overly offended by it needs to grow a thicker skin.
The real issue is the girl refering to the op as ''it''. That's an actual act of dehuminazation.
@@givewarachance2001you know two things are equally as bad. Calling people the R-word while OP have autism and calling OP an it.
When it comes to the “r” word it’s really a low blow! Wtf 🤬!!! It’s not a dark sense of humor it’s down right bullying
@@1985toyotacamry Of course two things can be bad at the same time but calling someone r-worded is on the same level as calling someone stupid, just a lot more ruder. Plus it's in no way onm the same level as calling someone an ''it'' beacuse they have autism.
OP in the goldfish story is the literal definition of a C U Next Tuesday.
Could have just wrote "cunt" but I agree.
"throwing bread at a service dog at a service dog is normal behaviour" um no. I don't know how old Leo is but at age 10 my little sister knows that when we're out to eat, we respect other patrons. She knows what a service dog is, a working dog, and that they need space. Leo's behaviour is being reinforced by lack of consequences and just stifled by giving him the phone
Yes exactly § When he said that I was like wtf no it's not ! I'm guessing he understood it as like trying to feed bread to the dog accross the room but it would be a generous interpretaion from him and his tone didn't match.
Leo is 8 btw but it's not ok at any age anyway !
Story 3: OP is ADOPTED! Another reason her brother might dislike her and is fine with that thing calling OP names. Also, OP says no grooming is taking place, but all those comments are downvoted. We can only hope she has a good one.
wtf is with those comments being downvoted?
Where does it say OP is adopted?
@GiordanDiodato grooming can lead to people thinking they are being groomed. Given that he is a decade her senior, things don't look too well in that regard.
Edit: not double. Though it was 38 not 28. Mb
@@GiordanDiodatobc grooming victims don't think they've been groomed
@@pegolegonot double; he’s 28, she’s 19. Still too large an age gap for me, but gotta make sure it’s the right number so people don’t discredit the fact it gives the ick lol
Leo is 8 and behaves like a toddler? That's not normal at all. He needs discipline.
To me it reads as ADHD. He still needs boundaries but he might genuinely struggle to understand
@@IkajoI have adhd and when I was 8 I never behaved that way since my parents disciplined me to not misbehave like that
And the sooner the better. What if Leo injured the service dog? Criminal charges could’ve been pressed against the parents and maybe even Leo.
@@ugandangaming2560it’s almost like everyone’s different
@@viagraREAL you’re right since I wasn’t coddled by my parents
Story 4: That is NOT normal eight year old behavior! That is the behavior of a spoiled brat who's never been disciplined. Not only were my brothers and I more well behaved than that at a younger age (Not perfect little angels, mind you, just better behaved on a regular basis), I can say with full certainty that I have met and watched over eight-year-olds that are saints compared to that kid! Throwing food at anything, human, object, or animal, is toddler behavior, and the only kids I've met who didn't stop doing that by age 3 are spoiled rotten and never taught that what they're doing is wrong.
I'd say ADHD and possibly autism, speaking as someone with both albeit on the milder side. In kids on the lower end, that sort of behaviour is rather common. Especially without proper boundaries.
must have been a "miracle baby"
@@IkajoI would just go with the sister is using a permissive parenting style. Not everything bad behavior is linked to being neurodivergent, sometimes it is just bad parenting.
@@KellyDVance Given the age, I'd say neurodivergence is actually quite likely
@@Ikajo I'd say from the lack of discipline and the sister's behavior it is poor parenting. As I said before, not everything can be laid at the feet of being neurodivergent. I have known plenty of kids with both ADHD and autism who were better behaved than this kid.
Leo seems like one of those kids that have never been told the word no. Seriously, the kid is 8 acting like Shapey from Morel Orel.
Dark humor? Either she said some serious truth under the guise of jest or she’s completely effed in the head.
probably the latter
@@GiordanDiodato i agree! I’m autistic and if that happened to me I’d go scorched earth with them all
See, what happened was, she accidentally said the quiet part out loud, thereby revealing that, yes, she IS completely effed in the head. Were I OP, I'd have told her, "Btw, I saw that joke you told my fiance. I thought it was hilarious. You mind if I share it on my social?" and just see if the bitch-canoe starts sweating bullets. >:3
I had an ex that would harshly criticize others... Saying that she's brutally "honest". I told her she has no tact... And she said I insulted her. I replied, what?! You can dish, but not receive?!
Major props to OP's aunt/'mom' for being such an awesome sister and ally to her brother and his husband
Definitely
I misread that part and thought it was between the sister and other dad and got freaked out a bit before I went back on it.
As a former 8 year old, I have never once even thought about throwing anything at a dog, let alone a service dog. This is not "normal kid behavior" this is psychotic behavior
Exactly lmao
Kid's a possible future resident of a maximum security federal penitentiary or a cemetery. Perhaps before age 21!
Exactly when I was 8 I never acted like that even though I was a crybaby and still am.
Omg exactly, it wouldn't have even cross my mind once, especially at 8, wtf.
14:34 Technically Leo isn't disobedient, because his mum isn't giving him any rules to disobey!
Story 3: CLEAR NTA for OP. I'm a 22yr male with mild autism, but I can still function normally (not saying that OP CAN'T function normally). It would be bad enough for someone to repeatedly call me an 'it' as a joke at my expense despite being repeatedly told to quit it, and then turn around and basically call me the the word that shall not be repeated, but to have my own family not only defend that person, but also threaten to not come to my wedding if I don't invite them and their spineless SO? I wouldn't be surprised if OP cut the whole lot of them out.
To defend the bully instead of the bullied is just..disgusting. And while I cannot at all relate to that, it still hurts that the victim's family gets mad at THEM, defends their unchecked bully, and dumps an absurd ultimatum on them. Invite the bully and their spineless SO, or we won't go to your wedding? GIMME A FREAKING BREAK!!
Story 3: I went to the original post and the comments from OP don’t inspire hope. she’s actually adopted, has been dating her fiancé for “a year” but literally can’t remember how they first met, and doesn’t seem to understand just how bad the entire situation is? i feel really scared for her but she’s so focused on not being seen as a child that she’s taking no one’s concerns into account.
That was my thought that she was groomed as a minor or got loved-bomed as soon she turned 18. This happens a lot with autistic people that they have rose tinted glasses on and miss al the red flags, because once in there life someone treats them as a adult/human/person that deserves love and affection
I'm autistic myself so this is not to crap on autistic people i just trying to tell what happens a lot because many autistic people have experienced a relationship that was predatory
@@juliaboskamp9666It's not just autistic folks as well(I've never been tested, so I will never say I am). It's also heavy in situations where they've been abused. I lived in a household where I felt I couldn't do anything right, and didn't really know what love was due to all the fighting my parents did. I fell face first into the first guy who treated me with any semblance of affection. It took a full year of verbal threats on my life before I finally realized that is NOT what I needed to be with.
I had looked at the original post for this too. When i saw that she's only been dating him for "a year", that she "didnt remember" when she met him and knew him for "a few years" before starting to date... it's very upsetting. I hope they can get out as quickly as possible! Especially because their shit family that doesn't see anything wrong with ableist behavior who, according to OP, apparently thinks the fiance is a swell guy and is perfectly fine with the relationship. :(
If that were me in the last one, I'd be like "So? I have two family members going through cancer treatment and they don't blab to random strangers." Which is true, unfortunately.
Hope they're doing okay
Hopefully they feel better
The last story: As a bookshop employee, I have had these sort of interactions. And I don't mind the short ones, but the ones who wont take a hint? Yeah, please go away. I am absolutely on OP's side, and would have been so gratefull had it been me.
It's weird with how prevalent a Christmas Carol is that some people really don't get that Ebenezer Scrooge is a cautionary tale... If all you care about is money, moneys is all you are going to have...
Story 4: The sister really should do better at curbing this behavior. My mom would be chewing the kid out for 30 minutes if he did all that.
If i did even 5% of what Leo did at 8 my mom would have a 8 year late term abortion
I would’ve recorded the whole thing
If i did like 5% what Leo did at have his age i would have been in huge trouble
If Leo had been raised by your mom, he wouldn't have behaved like that in the first place.
It's odd because my cousin didn't act like that when he was 8. He sounds spoiled
No rSlash, throwing BREAD is not normal kid behavior for an 8 year old. The only reason they'd still be doing that is because they are never disciplined.
He didn't tag an age on it, you misunderstood his point. It's kinda normal for a kid to want to play or tease a dog. The expectation however is that they get disciplined and learn not to behave that way. That learning and discipline typically occurs much younger than 8.
He simply acknowledged the impulse is normal kid behavior in the general sense. But that it's also typically disciplined out of them as soon as it starts.
He's right, kids will do dumb things like that. But any decent parent would have taught the kid to stop doing it.
@@Vincent_Beers you don't even think about throwing stuff at an animal in a public space (or any space for that matter) if you're well behaved in the first place, especially at the age of Leo, and sure rSlash didn't specifically tag an age but he was saying that in the continuation of some of OP's friends' argument saying it was normal for 8yo Leo.
The age doesn't matter, it's just not somthing you do, decent parents will teach you to not bother animal before you are at an age where you can go to a restaurant with your parents.
Not interacting with pets, *especially dogs* , you don't know without permission is like one of the first safety rule you teach to kids when going in public.
The story about op's nephew is that she has every right to not invite her entitled sister and her demon son to a family gathering so that they can enjoy their time without worrying about being kicked out of a restaurant just because an entitled kid likes to throw food around at other people or pets
The playdate story: not only did the Reddit comments overwhelmingly consider OP the AH, but also the thread is full of wholesome stories of parents being helped by other parents, often random strangers, in times of need (snacks, diapers, wipes, etc etc).
Last story: I'm studying to become a therapist. Therapists exist for a reason. What the lady did is called trauma dumping; when I do it, I ask for the person's consent to vent beforehand. It's a simple matter of boundaries and respect. OP is NTA.
Oh jeez, poor op in 3rd story. Hope she'll be okay!
Story 2: I love how the mom is apparently being “petty” for asking for Op to pay her back for all the money she’s spent on Op and her daughter…but it’s NOT petty to not spend 2$ on a snack for the mother’s daughter…
The fact that Op typed all this out and somehow thinks shes in the right here is gross.
YTA big time, this belongs on r/choosingbeggars tbh
Or entitled parents
I did think it was kind of petty to ask, but I also understand at the moment she needed to remind OP about how much she was spending to allow her to use their membership. She is probably willing to salvage the girls friendship so next time she invites her to the playground, she’d be well within her rights to remind her how much it costs to get in.
As someone who also has autism, that 3rd story gave me ridiculous amounts of icky feelings. I would just go no contact after that, but would also wait a couple more years to get married because of the ages
Story 3: Just joking? Is the OP laughing? Is anyone else laughing? No? Just you? THAT IS BEING A BULLY! If no one is laughing but you, you are a bully.
3rd story : what the heck is that story??
Biggots after Biggots after biggots
*bigots
Story 3: NTA, hands down. OMG WHY?! I have autism too, OP. What Lilith, and presumely Marcus too, did was very mean, rude, and overall very disrespectful! And your family hounding you to invite them otherwise they won’t go?! EXCUSE ME?! OP, stand your ground, please. What that woman did wasn’t her “ joking “, she is being bully! Do NOT let these people bully you. Invite to your wedding who YOU want, and if Marcus, Lilith, and the people who are defending their actions are upset about, TOO FREAKING BAD FOR THEM! Maybe they should have thought about that BEFORE they started being jerks at your expense!
OP, I hope your wedding goes well. Shawn sounds like a keeper. I hope you go low contract, or no contact, with Marcus and the side of the family who are justifying Lilith’s awful behavior! You don’t need that in your life.
Story 4: Leo is EIGHT. An eight year old having a public tantrum inside a restaurant is ridiculous.
Speaking as a service dog handler, anything thrown at a service dog is a no-go. An eight year old should know better than that. A four year old should know better than that. Distracting our dogs is literally a crime, because it puts our lives in danger. Yes, it was bread. But it's still a distraction, and it's very much frowned upon to feed our dogs without permission, as we're usually very particular about their diets. (My girl gets her dry kibble, a few add-ons, and carefully selected treats.) If the handler doesn't catch this and the dog eats it and later gets sick, the handler could very well sue the family for their dog's medical bills.
What this kid needs is some serious discipline and less screen time, in my opinion. Nowhere does it say/imply that Leo is special needs. If he was, maybe I could understand. But I know many severely autistic kids with more self control than this one, and who know better than to do stunts like that in public. Doing all that to get to a phone is obsessive, addictive behavior.
Story 1: I love how her plan was to shut you up for the rest of the school day then let your parents deal with the backlash. As if she was trying to get a head start before the parents understandably got pissed and came to talk to the teacher who revealed this information so recklessly. It may not have been the nicest thing to do but it was definitely a good learning experience.
And honestly what else could OP do? She was wanting confrontation but got humiliated instead. I really hope both the teacher and the counselor got reported. I wouldn’t be surprised if the two are friends.
For story 3, the OP actually got downvoted pretty heavily for defending her age gap relationship, and I think she used relatively cliche defenses so I’m inclined to see that relationship as sus. Plus, the fact they’re getting engaged at 19 makes me think the relationship started more than a year ago if you get my drift
Story 1: nta your substitute teacher is just being a bigot and shouldn't even be teaching if this is her attitude towards someone in op's position, but honestly that revenge is funny and what's with the school councilor you did talk to her but she just continued to be an unprofessional bigot.
There’s a difference between being a bigot and being uninformed, please learn the difference
@@samanthasierra314 And there's a difference between being uninformed and assuming personal information and broadcasting your assumptions as facts because you think you know better than the person you're making assumptions about. The teacher is an unprofessional bigot. Please learn the difference.
The phrase "I sincerely apologize, I just assumed and got carried away, it won't happen again" exists for uninformed people. Apparently not for the teacher..
Both sound like tenured people counting the days until retirement while showing no empathy to those they are there to help.
@@madalinamazareanu2770- that’s still not being a bigot, please pick up a dictionary before we destroy language anymore. The teacher is uninformed and shitty/unprofessional for revealing personal info.
Some people, especially old, have a hard time adapting to the new possibilities of today’s political atmosphere - old people would never even think of OP’s situation because she was rarely put into a situation where she needs to think about it - most likely.
Don't think you understand what bigot means kid-
Interrupting: I probably would have asked her to wait her turn much sooner.
"I need to vent!"
"Not to me, you don't!"
Story 3: NTA, but in my opinion, the SIL truly deserves the dubious 5 out of 5 douchebag score. I have no idea what is her problem. OP already said she is uncomfortable with her "humor" and told her to stop, but the SIL refused. It's pretty demeaning to not only use the R-word, but saying "it" to describe a person is very dehumanizing behavior, one of the worst things fellow humans can do to each other. As for why OP's family took the SIL's side, I have two guesses. Either SIL lied to them and tried to spin it as OP reacting badly to her "harmless humor" (which I need to stress, is very insulting to dehumanize someone), or the family really is ashamed of OP's condition, but only SIL has the gall to openly mock it. OP, stand your ground, and if your family refuses to have your back, best to go no contact.
Story 3- im am autistic person myself and straight up ableism is ABSOLUTELY NOT a joke. Its just the same bullying/oppression nerodivergent people face so often on their daily lives. I really hope op can separate themselves from the toxic people in their life cuz that whole story was so terrible😞
Amen to that, and I have both autism and ADHD. I probably would’ve done the opposite and rained absolute hell on the SIL until she fell on the floor crying with no excuses to fire back. And I personally don’t care about any age differences in a relationship, (I’m a strong believer in true love knows no age or gender.) OP’s fiancé seems to be the only decent person in that story.
It's no different than the times when our people were thrown into asylums. I have Asperger's. (I don't give a flying f*ck that it's an "outdated" term, it's literally what it is, it's literally what my Autism is called and no amount of sugarcoating medical progression will change that.) I would be in prison for aggravated assault if I got called the R-word where I could hear it.
Story 2: I could see being upset if you were friends with someone who was constantly hitting you up to buy snacks and never reciprocating, but buying something when they had just hours ago given you something more valuable? Crazy.
I love it when rSlash detects the Karen and immediately switches to his Karen voice halfway through the story.
it's a good way to tell that he's getting pissed off at the OP and I don't blame him like wtf
Story 4: I cannot picture my FIVE year old behaving like this 8 year old.
"I have cancer, I need to vent!"
No you don't. My father has beaten cancer twice and he never once vented or bitched to a random stranger or anyone for that matter.
Story 3: doesn't the whole fiance status imply that they have known each other for a while?
OP said there was no grooming
I do hope he met her when she wasn't a minor but even that it sounds like love-boming at best case scenario
And also she is autistic so more easily prayed on by predatory people (this comes from a person with autism themselves) and victims of grooming don't really know when they are groomed
But also what i get from that story is that a lot of people are alfull to her because of her disability and that her future husband is somehow the only person that treats her like a human being and not as a it
@@juliaboskamp9666 maybe she proposed to him, we don’t know the whole story there
I went to the original post and according to OP's comments they only started datingwhen she turned 18, but also that they "don't remember" when they met him, just that she's known him a "few years" So OP can say they haven't been groomed, but it seems pretty likely, especially considered her family apparently doesn't see anything wrong with cruel (ableist) behavior towards them :(((
First story: I work in a classroom. If I broadcasted even ONE of the things this sub did to an entire classroom, I'd be in a LOT of trouble. But she did THREE ("adopted", gay dads, and one dad having disabilities) and isn't even getting reprimanded??? Yo that district could be in serious trouble if OP actually cared to push it.
I've heard about this thing called tenure that some teachers use as a golden ticket to being straight up nasty towards children. Am I understanding this correctly?
Wow... I just realized that when I was in elementary school, I had a teacher broadcast to the class that I had to go into foster car for the weekend! And didn't think anything wrong about it. Oh, well...
There's having a dark sense of humor and then there's being ableist. I have a dark sense of humor, but I don't say sh*t like she does.
4th story: Idk how you can give an asshole score to the child for disobedience when there is nothing to disobey. The mother needs to take the whole blame here. She is causing the problem, she is ruining the childs life when she isn't teaching him how to behave and he will grow up with problem everybody else knew how to deal with since 4. The child is a victim here.
Exactly. You’re supposed to scold and punish a child when they’re acting out or doing something wrong, or they’re gonna turn into wild, monstrous adults. OP’s sister is practically neglecting her son’s need to learn proper manners and behavior. He’s going to spend his entire life in trouble with the law if she doesn’t discipline him.
She doesn’t deserve to be a mom!
I’m an adult and still want to give food to the service dogs. The difference is I was told as a kid 1. Dogs have allergies just like people so always ask the owner and 2. A service dog is “at work” right now and can not be distracted
Story 4: 8 years old is more than old enough for a kid to start facing real consequences for their actions. If I were OP, I'd make it clear that Leo is banned from any event I'm hosting for a full year. If he's more well-behaved after that, he can come back. If he's not or if he ends up doing it again after the ban is lifted, then he's fully banned until he can act right or until he's definitely old enough to stop acting like a brat. 14 would be a good test year for that. But that's just me and how I'd do it.
When someone else pays your way in, yes, you are absolutely obligated to feed them. The fact that she thought this should have been communicated ahead of time, suggests that she wasn't raised right. Also, my husband and I are also on the autism spectrum. My advice to that bride whose family refused to come would be to say that the wedding is only for other "R worded people, but I am sure that neurotypicals have some positive traits, too" 🤣🤣🤣
"Wanting to throw bread at a service dog is normal kid behavior."...? Uh, no it freaking isn't. Leo is acting incredibly bratty and his mom isn't doing a thing so he knows he can get away with it.
Actually it is normal boy(all ages) mentality, provided the boy is ill mannered or a bully or spoiled brat. Thus, classified as normal behaviour that needs to be disciplined. If not, that's what boys do, just have uncontrollable fun with no care who or what or when or how they harm...
Story 2: never seen such childish behaviour over goldfish crackers lol, its just $2, it’s basically nothing just a snack and Op is raising hell over it. 😂
Story 2: this is over snack…..SNACK!! THAT COST LESS THAN SINGLE TRIP TRANSPORTATION IN NEW YORK!!! This is..pathetic
Story 4: when I was 8 I ran amok too….on a cruise ship on vacation…in a KIDS CLUB WHERE I WAS MONITORED!!! Yes, kids are chaotic but they can be respectful AS PARENTS RAISE THEM THAT WAY!!! OP’s sister sucks as a parent
First story: NTA. She just assumed based on OP's lifestyle. Also, probably the rest of students didn't know as well and she goes saying something private all loud.
Not even OP’s lifestyle, but OP’s parents. Like why single OP out to begin with?? What does she have against OP?
@@Tustin2121 probably she's homophobe and she just wanted to ditch it out on any way she could on OP because unlike the parents, she has power over OP.
It literally said she was making these comments to each and every student about something they could write about.@@Tustin2121
It... also literally said the students were laughing because they knew that he wasn't adopted.
@@Kitsuiko but what if they didn't?
The part of the “I said Venmo me” then straight to “I said no” like context is missing or maybe OP wrote it wrong???
I thought the same thing
Leos mother sounds like my sister in law. She wants to do the bulk of the parenting but then wont actually parent. So when my nephew acts out, repeatedly, she just tells him "Stop that, that's not nice, stop that" but never actually does anything TO stop it. Then if anyone else steps in to say anything to him she gets upset because we questioned her parenting....or lack thereof.
Buy the kid a dang snack
Yeah, Sophie's mom has spent over 2$ on petting you and your kid join her everytime you visit the park. And you're crabby she asked for 2 dollars this one time?? Da fuq.
Story One: NTA
The “Substitute Teacher” was either a bigot or discriminatory towards people who adopted kids, but she also sounds like she’s got a thing against people with disabilities!
Either way, the students’ personal lives are NONE of her business, and for her to just tell the kids what she THINKS she knows makes her sound condescending and rude!
She got what she deserved for broadcasting students’ personal info out loud! ST should’ve gotten reprimanded for that!
Ngl if I met a Lilith I would do it back, "Oh, it's okay it has been a real asshole" "It?" "Yeah that thing, the one named Lilith? ring a bell?"
Story 1: Guaranteed, that sub teacher is a Cluster of Bees. Not sure which cluster of b ("Cluster of Bees" ONLY refers to abusive instances), but it's something.
First Story: That substitute would have a permanent mark on her teaching record if that was my child. NOW WAY you pull something like that without jeopardizing your career as a teacher. That was crossing so many boundaries.
Story 4, I wouldn't put much if any fault on Leo cause he doesn't know better. The sister though definitely needs to learn to properly discipline her child or he's going to have a very rude awakening later in life.
8 YEARS OLD. JEEZ. I WOULD HAVE BEEN BACKHANDED FOR THAT.
I’m so glad you mentioned the story about the parents buying several hundred dollars worth of Christmas gifts for their sons friend because that’s exactly the story that came to mind when you read me the one about the terrible mom treating her daughters best friend horribly. I just immediately thought of that comparison, like how can there be families that are so incredibly generous and amazing and loving and then there’s just, her.
The story of the 8yr old not getting punished reminds me of a similar story from my youth and how differently my mom treated what happened.
My sister, cousin, and I decided that we were going to go to a restaurant within walking distance of our home. I was in my very early teens at most. My sister was nearing her teens. And our cousin was firmly in the older kid range. My sister and I LOVED "torturing" our cousin (in quotations because we never actually did/wanted to anything that would hurt or upset him). I bribed him to walk around the restaurant (empty except for us and one other table) like a thug saying "I like pointy things" (any else watch the weekenders growing up?). He wasn't to get in the way of staff or the other table. Just walk around and then come back. He did and I gave him the promised money.
Our mom came to pick us up after and when we told her, she got MAD. I got the brunt of it since I was the oldest and it was my idea. She made sure that we understood that we weren't to do that ever again and wouldn't be allowed to go to restaurants by ourselves until we had proven that we could behave without an adult present. Our cousin got a very similar lecture from his mom as well.
And guess what? We never did it again.
I have an incredibly dark sense of humor, but damn, these comments by Lilith were terrifyingly garbage. That's not dark, it's brutal insult. Dark humor should be either self-deprecating or towards an abstract hypothetical segment of humanity. Even if it's directed towards someone you talk to, it should never make them feel uncomfortable. That's the entire point of humor-the one it's directed to should also find it funny!
Story2 If it was me and my kid was invited on a play date, I would supply all the snacks. 🤷🏻♀️
That last story. I agree with OP. Too many people will do stuff like that because they know you’re in a position where you may get in trouble for telling them to leave you alone. And that’s not OK to do even if you’re going through something terrible in your life. That makes you kind of a bully.
The first story reminds me of a teacher I had. She decided on her own that we {sixth graders} were old enough to know the truth about Santa. Most kids found her "If you didn't know I have some bad news" thing funny, but three of us didn't. Myself and another kid had just found out not too long before that, and we both agreed that it would have been awkward and horrible to find out in the middle of English. And one of the girls in class actually didn't know yet, and was so embarrassed. A few kids found out based on just the look on her face when we were told, and she got mercilessly bullied about it for months.
When I went home and told my mom that the teacher told us, she was ticked. My parents policy was not to tell us and let us figure it out, and my mom didn't even know that I'd known at that point.
This same teacher, a few months later, would have us do an assignment where we wrote about our feelings... Which she then read a few of the "sad ones" to the class without warning so she could illustrate how emotions influenced writing.
Story 1 reminded me of something I did to a fellow student in my school, so there was this trend going around where people pull on other people’s earrings, why? I couldn’t know, at one point I was targeted by the kids doing this, but I was prepared. For context, I wear clip-on earrings since I can’t pierce my ears and I saw this coming so I had a small bottle of red food dye in my pocket (I think someone can see where I’m going with this), and when my earring got tugged on, it was pulled right off my ear. I hear an “Oh shit” when the student realizes he’s holding my earring. I knew it was off so I had reached into my pocket and put a small drop of red food coloring on my fingers and proceeded to let off a scream while holding my ear lobe with the hand that had the red food dye on it, making it look like it was bleeding, I was fine though, I got my earring back, went to the nurse who had a good laugh about it and even put a bandage around my ear love to really lean into it. That student has yet to live it down. Although good news, I think I’ve single-handedly stopped that stupid trend before someone actually got hurt.
The last OP should request a consultation fee in advance if the other customer insisted on venting to them.
story 4: Sounds like Charlotte is one of those Clusters of Bees/Narcissists for whom Leo is her Golden Child, can do no wrong, and HOW DARE OP or anyone else criticize her 'perfect' parenting?! It would be interesting to hear from OP what Charlotte was like as a child.
dont know why but the short "aw thats really sweet" in the first story made me smile, Rslash u have such a good heart
Screw OP in story 2. Like how delusional and self centered can you be? I mean yeah there's worse out there but this was just stupid of her.
Story 3: The way my jaw kept dropping further to the floor… That’s disgusting. And as someone who does have a dark sense of humor I have NEVER said anything like that to someone. Whether they were “restarted” or not
Also why is it so bad that she’s 19 w 28?
There gonna get married soon so if she says she is more that 2 years together with him the chance that grooming took place is big
Because if they're already engaged, chances are he knew her as a minor. And even if he didn't, someone who's almost 30 going after someone who just got out of high school is weird.
Story 1: I'm a teacher, and I'm shocked by that teacher's behavior. It honestly might be illegal to just say all that stuff. I tread very lightly around the subject of students' families until they open up themselves.
When people interrupt someone speaking to me. I lean into the person who was interrupted and say "Im sorry what was that?" Only the real crazies keep talking in which case i try and raise the volume of the original conversation. I've got years of practice with my family.
The only time I pranked my teacher was pretending his pants ripped in front of me 🤣 He leaned over to help another student with his butt in my face all the time (not complaining and never will) and I folded some paper and then ripped it right behind his cake
He was covering the wrong end while apologizing 👀 Sorry Mr. Summers
Genius prank I'll give you that 😂😂😂
story 3: I was curious if there were any updates or anything involving the sil, and I was also curious about the age-gap thing. according to OP in her comments, she and her fiance started dating when she was 18, and that they've known each other for years (she adds in a later comment that they didn't know each other well). honestly, after seeing some of the comments, I'm kind of worried for OP that she's dating a predator - I really hope that's not the case, but man, that negative side of my brain is wary.
Story 2: OP sounds like a cluster of Entitled Bees. Her poor kid!
I was waiting to hear rslash's opinion on the snacks story. I honestly had NO idea which parent he was going to side with. I'm glad he chose the right one.
Yeah, selfish mom on that one. She should have gotten kiddo a snack. That's sucky.
Story 3: almost 10 years gap + vulnerable girlfriend = big BIG yikes. The SIL was extremely rude but she might sadly have a point about him
Quite frankly the future husband concerns me more than the others even after they’ve been horrible
I had the same reaction at story 1. I was cracking up 😂 honestly the teacher put them in a position where someone was going to come out embarassed no matter what. He even tried to tell her he wasn't adopted right then and there and she kind of doubled down, and then so did he. There were a lot worse ways that could have gone down. I think OP handled it pretty well. Maybe he should just take her aside the next day and tell her that he talked with his dads and why he's not adopted.
Story 3: It is abundantly clear that Marcus sold his soul to a literal Demon in the Sack (there's a reason OP's fake name for Marcus' SO is LILITH - she's a literal DEMON) for passionate hugging. It's obvious that Marcus either was never taught, or disregarded, the sage advice "My Son, stick it not in Crazy". Lilith sounds like some flavor of Clusters of Bees (abusive instances of Cluster B only). Marcus himself might be a covert narcissist/enabler. OP's family also sounds like Clusters of Bees and Marcus appears to be the Golden Child, which explains much.