Trump Torpedoes Tom Emmer’s Speaker Bid | Jenna Ellis Flips | U.S. Spells “Us”
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- čas přidán 23. 10. 2023
- The House GOP failed again to choose a Speaker, another Trump co-defendant took a plea deal in Georgia, and the former president made an incredible discovery mid-speech. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. - Zábava
8:52 *Trump:* "You don't have to vote, don't worry about voting"
You hear that Trump supporters? Trump said you don't have to vote. Don't worry about it.
Could it be because the GQP is planning another coup anyway?
100%
What did he mean when said “We have plenty of votes”? Does that mean they already have ballots filled out and ready to go to stuff ballot boxes? Republicans are so shady 😎
They'll just do a coup instead to put king Dump on the throne
Right another coup! He wants to go to jail, as his role model did Adolph Hitler did, so he wants to follow his leader. Only thing is Hitler was much younger than 45 is now. I don't think he'll survive unless the coup takes over the country. Scary thought but truly nothing would surprise me these days!
The GOP's electile dysfunction has lasted 3 weeks now.
SEE YOUR DOCTOR!
💊🍆🤏
They keep asking for help from the blue assistants.
Nice
They just need to give in and take the Blue pill, y'know.
Emmer is my district's rep and my GOD hearing those boos from the crowd about the DUI BS was so validating. I went to school with the man's kids and couldn't stand ANY of the family.
I’ll never not miss Jon adding piano sound effects to Stephen putting down his imaginary props. The most subtle and satisfying long running bit of all time
I miss John Baptiste even Stephen does cuz he puts props away still and wait for the key
Jon B. is overrated. He wasn't funny, was usually annoying, & made mistakes in 99% (my estimate) of what he played. Just my nickel's worth. He's not missed here. (Almost forgot: go ahead, _FLAME_ me! It's expected.)
*_"I never worked for me, I only met myself a few times, I hardly even know me!"_*
- trump, in the not too distant future
😂 UNDERRATED COMMENT!
😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💯👈🎃👉
😂😂😂😂
...so, building an insanity plea?
geological sign? "dumber than a box of rocks."
Daily reminder: it’s your money going to pay house representatives to do their job. If you don’t do your job at work for 3 weeks straight, will they keep paying you?
That Nelson Mandela comeback though.... perfect, Steven, perfect. 👏👏😄😄🤣
The answer to "Who Flipped Now?" is Mark Meadows.
Me: So what are Trump’s lawyers and associates doing these days?
Judge: Pleading guilty.
MAGA = Making Attorneys Get Attorneys 😂
Knock, knock... Who's there? Pre... Pre who? Pre-dawn prison guard... bed check.
Woman who supposedly has a law degree blames it all on lawyers who knew more than she did, like she's a teenage employee at McDonald's at her first job, with no idea of what's right and wrong.
" I was only following orders", yeah, that worked great, didn´t it, Mr. Keitel?
Remember when they didn't charge Trump Jr. with a crime because he was only a kid, only 40 years old and clearly too dumb to know that working with Russia to subvert our democracy was a crime?
Ellis is 38. As you say, when has that become too young to know right from wrong? Oh, yeah, when it's Republicans doing crime, huh? I'm surprised they don't say that Donald Trump _senior_ was too young to know what he was doing.
He was certainly too _dumb._ But that, too, only seems to be a defense when Republicans commit crimes.
Well, they were bigger than me and they were doing it too.
Having a law degree is one thing.
Having principles and the guts to stand up for yourself, that's a whole other thing.
The part about Hungary and Turkey took me back to my childhood, when my dad would recite this ‘phrase’ to me…..”Are you Hungary?” “Yeh Siam” “Then I’ll Russia to the table and Fiji on Turkey and Greece.” “Sweden my teeth, Denmark my bill.” I have no idea where it originated from but it made me laugh every time. As for drumpfty having the audacity to compare himself to Madiba….what an absolute cretin. Great monologue, Stephen. 👏👏👏👏
"Mr. Emmer, are you okay?!" had me howling 😭
Anti Gravitas Emmer?
Anyone remember Max Headroom?
I'm just sorry it wasn't the cat filter
He also managed to blur the background so hard, you couldn't see his shoulders or his whole head. Idk even know how to do that purpose 😅
What an insult to Nelson Mandela and other liberation movement leaders around the world.
If only the Clinton Foundation could help.
I don't believe a word Jenna Ellis is saying. She knew everything the whole time and she's only saying that to save her own skin.
A violinist really should have been playing in the corner of the courtroom while she was reading with her crocodile tears.
Let’s remember that Jenna went to college and law school and she states that she made a mistake trusting other lawyers and didn’t do her work. So what do they teach college?
well, it _is_ the armerican education system
Based on how many of Trump’s and Giuliani’s lawyers are complaining (and suing) about not being paid, apparently law school doesn’t even teach them to make sure the check clears.
"I don´t know how to fix that" should be the new slogan of the rep. party.
Good one!
Aka "Trump broke the toilet again".
Sad thing is that it's not even a joke that they aren't even trying to fix anything anymore. They don't even have plans that won't work to fix anything. Their WHOLE platform has just become insulting and complaining.
How about "We don't care about fixing it."?
@@Logan_BaronThey want to rule and restrict, not govern or legislate anything good.
Emmer gets two DUIs, then he reduces the penalties for DUIs? That's who we have in our government? Smh...
4:18- "Astrological sign", not "geological". Tim, Tim, Tim....tsk tsk.
Jenna Ellis parrots Trump's big lie about the election being stolen, then cries while reading her statement. Then smiles when she sits down. Quite the actress there...
I realized that too and thought the punchline would be "What is your geological sign? Amethyst?"
She's putting on weight too. Wonder why.
@@Tina-qp7py She's been eating a lot of hamburgers lately, like her role model.
Her tears are 100% self serving. She was gleeful as fk to help in damaging this nation. How can a "lawyer" do the things she did WITH NO EVIDENCE? They all deserve prison.
To be fair, I think the Congressman was being sarcastic about the type of questions being asked... But even then, he screwed it up.
Don't be crass, Stephen! They had to ask the candidates their geological signs...they all have rocks in their heads!
Another discovery how genius he is :- Person, Woman, Man, Camera, Tv, US
sounds like another trump lawyer realized she ain't getting paid.
Sounds like her lawyers said, "Jena, you're going to prison."
@@icin4dAnd they also said "that money, u raised on that Christian fundraising site, will only last 2 hours, so listen carefully....".
@@dfuher968 But it's a witch hunt, right? They did nothing wrong, right? Funny how this "witch hunt" is producing so many felons. Yes, they are all pleading guilty to felonies. But she's free to have a public defender at any time. It will be a quick trial. The evidence is overwhelming and solid. None of their technically hearings went anywhere. Without a plea, Ms "Elite Strike Force" is on a fast track to a Georgia prison for her criminality, and she knows it. Can't afford the time - DON'T COMMITT THE CRIME. Now go away "maga" moron.
Trump JUST figured out how to spell "us".
How long before he realises what it means? He's never got further than "me," so he probably thinks it means "what I see when I look in lots of mirrors - lots of "me"s."
@kate...
I'm hearing your quote in Colbert's voice of Trump. 🤭🤣
What’s very hard word to spell. Lol!
I missed you, and I believe A LOT of "US" in the "US" did too. Thank Dog you're back to help us deal with the daily insanity and chaos. If I didn't hear this with your humorous twist I think I'd throw myself off a cliff🤯🤯 As a Wow (an upside down Mom), I am so sad and scared for my children. This nut needs to be found guilty and thrown in the clink. And they need to study him to see what was actually elected into office.
Thanks for lightening the mood Stephen ❤
Love you Stephen, thanks for keeping 'us' sane in a crazy world.
The LGBTQ Community loves him.
@@oldsalt8011 Put a lot of though in that didn't ya ...
Stephen is silent and complacent on what is happening in Gaza. So disappointing.
@@loranelson5393 He looks kinda Jewish to me.
🎶 🎶 🎶
_Flip, flip, flip your boss_
_Roughly into jail_
_Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily_
_trump is but a fail_
🎶
💕❤️💫✨️🌟✨️💫❤️😊
🥁🥁🪘
It's absolutely insane that so many people who belong to the party of personal responsibility are so adamant that they can't be blamed for anything. Somehow, everything is always someone else's fault. Is there a prescription for that kind of neurosis?
Yes. Vote blue.
Yes, but they won't take it. They still hate doctors for 'making up' Covid 19.
Yeah it's called weed😂👊🏾✌🏾💞
The play of words with countries’ names was brilliant ❤
No matter how low i feel in the morning, Stephen never fails to put a smile on my face
That geological sign joke was brilliant. 😄
MAGA should be so proud of their leader. He figured out that the initials of these United States spell out the word "us" and he figured it out all on his own!
And he was the first person ever to do so!
You know he was ready something in all caps and he got confused till someone explained it to him
But no one will give him the credit he deserves for being such a great speaker!
Wait until he figures out what the acronym for the World Health Organization spells.
@@ellengrace4609 who?
fantastic monologue
You make this crazed impossible news watchable. joyous
he had to tell his supporters how to spell the word (us) and why do I somehow believe that they wrote it down to gain as knowledge and were mind blown?? lol
"I'm a strong, empowered, lawyer woman"..."Boo hoo, I'm just a little girl !..."
The stable genius with the bigly brain has only taken 76+years to work out US spells us
It’s understandable really, there’s no ‘I’ in ‘us’
That very large abrain was getting in his way .
#ohsnap.
‘According to people I pay to care about it’. Best line ever.
Stephen and his writing team are back in top form, brilliant.
The LGBTQ Community is doing their best.
I cannot wrap my head around people listening to Trump speak like a 7 year old and think " Yup, that's my guy! " WTF, I can't do it anymore... it hurts. I'm in actual pain.
But to be fair, the people who laugh along with him at his witticisms at his fascist hootenannies have the intellects of 5 yo playground bullies.
I can't tolerate listening to him at all, cringey and stupid.
I think most of the audience go there to have a good laugh.
Trump worshipers say over and over again, "he speaks like us", and "he just says whats on his mind". In other words, they love the nonstop meanness, bullying, and hatred that spews out of his lie-hole.
Riiiiiight??!!! I try to understand things from other peoples' point-of-view ... but this resilient support for that babbling self-centered freak is just beyond me
Haha good one tonight, Steven. A little levity during really crappy times.
Mr. STEPHEN COLBERT AND YOUR WRITERS, THANK YOU !!!
Just elect Jeffries already.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I'll settle with whoever the House GOP nominates ignore Trump and the wingnut right and just cut a deal with Jeffries and the Democrats.
McCarthy likely would still be Speaker if work with Jeffries instead foolish believe he could appease Gaetz or Boebert....really wish a reporter would point out that simple truth when he decide bash the Dems for his failures
I like US too! As in General US Grant! UNION General who defeated the Confederate Army! Most of these Republicans are Southerners! April 9, 1865 ! 🇩🇪🇨🇭🇺🇲🌊💙🌊💙🌊💙🌊💙🌊💙🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
Too. Many. Cowards.
Amen!
Emmer reminds me of the lawyer who similarly couldn't figure out how to turn off his Zoom filter, and felt compelled to tell his fellow meeting members that "I'm not a cat."
Good to know, thanks.
That's what I thought of, too!🤣
friken hilarious!
For us older folks , things like the cat guy and trump are not doing us any favors at all.
🤣🤣🤣🙀
My favorite of Zoom mishaps
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed at the GOP this hard before!!!😂😂😂😂😂
I sincerely hope that was not her apology to georgia I would have pulled her plea deal for that. We're looking for something more along the lines of "i'm a disgrace and embarrassment to my country"
The LGBTQ Community will be there to help.
Four years in the WH and the gifted leader can't tell Hungary from Turkey.
Perfect -- give him another four years.
Puh lease, how.many Americans are even aware of these countries or could find them on a map?
Jenna Ellis is 38 years old. Maybe not mentally? Why is she pretending to be an innocent, ignorant, absent minded, barely legal adult? Does she think that Matt Gaetz can help?
So good to have you back Stephen. and the writers too!
Terrific show. Your group is so sharp and you deliver so well. You have contrbuted so much to your audience these last years. God bless you and our country!
It took him 77 years to figure out that us spells us.😅
😏
I very nearly died in an accident with a drunk driver who t-boned me. 17 years later and it's been laid out that I'll never fully recover from my injuries and I will always have a bit of plastic holding an aorta together. People willing to drink and drive should be charge with reckless attempted homicide but, the guy who hit me basically got off scott free cause I was poor back then and he had resources.
I completely agree that people that drive under the influence should be charged with attempted murder.
Dang, totally forgot about the loud fart🤣😂🤣😂,
Many thanks Late Show!❤❤❤
I'm so happy that Stephen is back🎉😅
Trump just figuring out about "US" gives new credence that he wasn't very literate before he had to start reading teleprompters all the time.
To be fair, when it comes to pronouns, he never got past "me".
@@meh2510 So true. His best defense for all the crimes is to claim malignant narcissism, aka a depravity defense.
He doesn't believe truth exists beyond what he wants it to be. He literally thinks that he is the only thing that matters.
Are you implying that FDR wasn’t “elegant”? 🤪
And even with teleprompters, there's no assurance Trump won't go on another wild tangent.
Also, keep in mind that Trump is not only a true believer in wishful/magical thinking; he learned it straight from one of its pioneers, Norman Vincent Peale.
Where is Tiffany? Isn’t she a lawyer?
Trump: Who’s the nominee for speaker?
GQP: Tom Emmer.
Trump: Not him!
GQP: As you wish, my holy lord 🤣
The best part was Emmer grovelling at trump's feet, tweeting his wall of trump portraits and pretending a diss video was an endorsement
Pretty much
Saddest part is.. it's literally a cult. I know that is sort of bandied around in a somewhat joking way... but every day, every story, and every time his followers make excuses... only hardens the case for them to be called a cult. or another similarly spelt 4 letter word.
@@benwu7980 Trumpism is absolutely a cult. The only ones in denial about that are his WORSHIPPERS.
The saddest part is that there are that many people in this country that are genuinely that F N stupid !
It's amazing how Colbert continues to get even better...I laugh all the way...he is indeed the best...ever...and his writers too...hilarious, incredibly, insanely hilarious...can't believe it...
I love all the classic jokes haha. They'll never go out of style 😂👌
that U.S. spells us thing is straight from Klink in Hogans Hero's. 'nuff said on multiple levels
Well at least that would have made more sense, since he was playing a German. I don’t know who the actor was, or where he is from. I would have to say, trump’s stupidity is far beyond anything I have seen in a television show. Even zombie movies. 😮 Love ❤️ from Australia 🇦🇺
US as in USA ? After 4 years of being a president, he just realize now and he is the best Republican can come up with for 2024 ? Good luck America…
Rudy is the gift to comedians that will forever keep giving.
Uh oh I’ve been calling this whole situation a clown car. But now that you’ve reminded us that clowns do indeed go to college, I gotta find a better description of the whole horror show. Stephen, I’m glad you’re feeling better and back with us.
Her legal career consists of getting farted on by Giuliani and pleading guilty, in before trump says “she was just a coffee girl” 🤡
At 38 years old, she does not have to defer to people with "more experience". What did she do after getting her law degree?
@@lenawagenfuehr53good luck getting a job in maga workd after snitching on their king
@@alexanderdumas- Or any non-MAGA place. LOL. I am loving this for all of those traitors.
No one tell Trump that GOP spells Go Pee or he just might drop his pants & take a piss on stage...giving his audience a golden shower 😒
👍🏻👏👏
😂
Beautiful!
If he told them to drink it, they'd lap it up with smiles on their faces
With his little mushroom (according to Stormy Daniels) 😂
She sounded so sincerely concerned for him 😂😂
I haven't laughed this hard in a while so I thank you for sharing the truth a great humor! I appreciate everyone involved with this show
The LGBTQ Community needs more Steambaths. Please do your part and continue to support them.
The news of Mark Meadows flipping for immunity must've broke right after they aired this.
The 'U.S' thing isn't a big deal... he's just speaking at a level suited to his Base.
I always enjoy the Broyhill running gag.
Geological sign "Igneous rising with a sedimentary moon" had me cackling!!
Trump praising dictators all over the world is just sick.
He idolizes them, because he wants to be the dictator of America.
Yesterday morning the Russian state t.v. Had a clip about him where they ridiculed him, and called him a btch.
He also said republicans don't need any more votes. Bonkers with terror.i😅
It's his aspiration.
DJT never met a despot or dictator he didn't admire and envy
Every time I see Stephen set something down out of focal range, I keep expecting Jon to tickle the keys.
Those were the good ol' days.
This episode is worthy of an Emmy award 😁🤣😁.
If Congress can’t function. No paychecks or benefits
Exactly!
Give them federal minimum wage and ban all other BIg Money in politics. Then they'd fix wages real quick 👍
@@helios7212no they won't, they make all their money from insider trading and lobbyists.
Except for them, since they apparently still get paid. So it’s only the everyday government employees who will loss out. Insanity.
Well, that will happen naturally if they do not get their 💩together. The House holds the purse.
Clearly, Jenna Ellis didn’t do her own research!
Another co-defendant flipped. I picture the judge standing in front of a grill with the co-defendants in a line as hamburger patties waiting to be flipped 😂
I have missed you Stephen and your funny, FUNNY writers! 🎉😂
How anyone can vote for a GOP candidate after the last 7yrs is beyond me.
I haven't voted for a Republican since I could vote in 1974 and I made that decision when I turned 13 in 1968.
@@gogreen7794 ))
I say it again, the intelligentsia is going to science, they aren't stupid.
As long as they insist to everyone that they're geniuses people will believe it.
@@josephdonais4778splain your foil hat please
How anyone can see what’s happening in the House of Representatives and still support Republicans is beyond me.
do you think Lindsay Graham anticipated this cluster-f** when he called the end of the GOP?
America: land of never admitting you could ever be wrong. Also land of cults
Maga isn’t watching, silly!
they are out buying Trumps bucks and Trump trading cards, and getting tattoos of Maga hats on their ass.
Yee haW!
Accepting the mistake they made means admitting the guilt of the result.
@@oldrrocr🤣🤣🤣💯💯🎯🤦♂️
Instant pay rise for the writer that came up with “Yemen meringue pie”.
Im so happy Stephen has brought back his Trump impression.
Stephen Colbert's opening monologues are always my favorite of late night hosts.
Only because Closer Look isn't an opening monologue
Me too!
Me too!
Jenna Ellis isn’t smiling like her mugshot now, and neither is Trump! 😂
Yeah, Jenna Ellis stopped smiling when Dumpty told her she wouldn’t be getting any $ from his defense slush fund and she was forced to resort to crowdsourcing to fund her defense.
"Sounds more romantic in Italian." 🤣🤣🤣
“… but a flaming bag of poop.” It really IS all in the delivery, isn’t it? 😂
That Jenna Ellis mugshot looked like a scene from "Smile." As in the exact few seconds before the monster lunged at you. Creepy.
Emmer's downfall was that he voted to certify the 2020 election. He is one of only two speaker candidates that wasn't an election denier, so Rump wan't going to let that happen.
Just when you think Trump‘s speeches can’t get any more ridiculous, ludicrous, and as usual full of lies, he even tops himself each day. It’s inconceivable that this guy is even running for president, yet how many of his loyalist vote for him. This country is truly tanking.
Only in a America…. Unbelievable! The rest of the world is laughing…..
It's like dosing yourself with ever increasing doses of poison so that you will eventually be able to tolerate any dose. DJ keeps upping the nonsense content of his verbiage until eventually he will be able to speak complete gibberish and his followers will smile and nod. Just keeps working at lowering the bar.
The 38 year old blonde law school graduate is not an idiot, she's a liar.
That, "Mr. President, it's so much easier for me to smooch your butt from this angle," line is so brilliant and delivered so smoothly, it nearly got by me. 😂 ❤
One day, there will come a time when anyone who did so, will wonder why they even listened to Donald Trump, let alone believed anything he ever said or wrote.
Not soon enough!
And the ones that still do will be left behind.
They still think the earth's flat
Nah, it's a cult... they're NOT allowed to Think. 🙃
*#FeloniousCult45GQP* 🤡🤥💀🏌💸🔥
I hope to live to see that day. Then again Hitler still has diehard supporters...
The hell with what's best for the country... Trump wants a speaker that will keep him out of jail.
I guess there is one in the writing team pumping their fists and saying "Yes!" when Steven nearly laughed at his own words at 9:50. 😁
The picture of Emmer looked more like a used car salesman. "I'll take your offer to my manager and see what I can do!"
"According to people I paid to care about it" 😂😂😂 Mr Colbert it's too late for burns like this
Geological sign? Got dim. Us = US. He just noticed.
Holy moley.
He thinks he's the first person to ever notice that
He is unbelievably dim. Had to ask John Kelly “what happened here?” At Pearl Harbor.
My geological sign is… METAL 🤘🏾🤘🏾 [sick guitar riff plays]
Exceptional monologue!!
1:30 I wasn't ready!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! All of my tea, all over my desk!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Tome Emmer: I’ve become the nominee for Speaker!
(In a French accent)
*A FEW MOMENTS LATER*
Tom Emmer: I am dropping my nomination for Speaker.
I read this in the french 😄voice from SpongeBob "a few hours later"
"A few moments...," dang near like a few seconds later the way they're going.
@@lisa2stewart May as well nominate SpongeBob at this point
Fully heard the French accent from SpongeBob.
Everybody needs their 15 minutes of fame, which is about the same time frame of a Republican speaker of the House lasts.
And now Meadows has been granted immunity so he must have given up some serious stuff.
"sounds more romantic in Italian" I died
Focaccia came to mind…😂
These writers were Off The Chain for this show today!
Stephen is killing it! The laugh out loud, startling my dog, kind of hilarious. Trump never figured out the U.S./US thing because the only word he knows is ME.
It also could be that he’s a profound idiot !
ME for Trump is Moron Example ! 😂