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Idk if you'll see this Danny but one "practice" that helped clarify things for me was just getting in the habit of sitting for 30 minutes a day with no goal at all. You just sit down and let your mind go where it wants to go and see what happens. This "practice" is beautiful because you can't fuck it up, you can't be distracted, WHEREVER the mind wants to go, it just goes. ALL is allowed, that means negative thoughts and also the rejection of negative thoughts and also the rejection of rejecting negative thoughts lol.
"I don't make any decisions." (at 27:45) That is a key point! Also, "Awake is when you know that you don't know (what is Truth and what is Reality)" (at 53:25) Also, "Letting go of the idea than anyone can figure this stuff out." (at 1:20:00)
I think that the creativity of evolution (all localized trial and error, but receiving a-local feedback) has a kind of memory or better "intuition" of where it's headed which has been labeled with words such as eros (used by wilber, ain't that sexist, what about agape then) or even thelos (blowing it up) or "the world as will" (schopenhauer), but when humans pass a certain age or a degree of physiological health (maybe "neoteny"), their evolutionary creativity dissipates (along with sexual libido and much enthusiasm and boldness) and the scene is taken over by a higher percentage of chaos and entropy an then the conscious self of authorship aka ego must also disappear gradually (or else it's stories continue without any good relationship to reality, being utterly delusional), because linguist authorship may be an expression of or even an important tool of evolutionary creativity. In other words, "spirituality" (advaita and so on) is a "rationalization" (advertisement) of aging, if not down right dementia, selling aging to the aging, giving social meaning to meaningless decay - you are useless now, but you are easy to get along with. I am well into my fourties and my creative drive has been cooked and shredded by chemo therapy, infections or auto-immune reactions, thrombocytopenic microbleeding, sleep apnea and my author-ship in life is reduced to themes such as that i am the one who is maybe about to find a comfortable bike saddle one day, whereas before i used to think that i was about to become the next carl jung (i am exaggerating to make a point), by inventing a unique synthesis of integral theory, enneagram, socionics and concepts of pathology, of course all by the grace of my genius, as i never had a delusion of total control to begin with. I resonate with what you say and feel like i see life exactly the same, but i cannot differentiate my concept of awakening from my concept of dementia, as i label my "white"-trash-brain ( = destroyed by "white" mass industries, petro-chemistry, live stock ...). Accordingly, i judge other people based on how well their brain works. When they are blown out like me, which many people are, i can easily forgive them for their nature, like you would forgive carnivore animals, but when they appear to be in total control of their lives, professionals, i apply egoic concepts, so i apparently seek to shame them into bettering their ways by appearing resentful of how they operate and of course i am not in control of how i feel about them, appear to them, act around them, as this is just how i see the world and i kinda lack the creative authorship to work on my ways.
Idk if you'll see this Danny but one "practice" that helped clarify things for me was just getting in the habit of sitting for 30 minutes a day with no goal at all. You just sit down and let your mind go where it wants to go and see what happens. This "practice" is beautiful because you can't fuck it up, you can't be distracted, WHEREVER the mind wants to go, it just goes. ALL is allowed, that means negative thoughts and also the rejection of negative thoughts and also the rejection of rejecting negative thoughts lol.
"I don't make any decisions." (at 27:45) That is a key point!
Also, "Awake is when you know that you don't know (what is Truth and what is Reality)" (at 53:25)
Also, "Letting go of the idea than anyone can figure this stuff out." (at 1:20:00)
Thank you for your honesty Robert.
My pleasure
Super cool shirt Robert! 😃
Without words,.... the world is silence
I think that the creativity of evolution (all localized trial and error, but receiving a-local feedback) has a kind of memory or better "intuition" of where it's headed which has been labeled with words such as eros (used by wilber, ain't that sexist, what about agape then) or even thelos (blowing it up) or "the world as will" (schopenhauer), but when humans pass a certain age or a degree of physiological health (maybe "neoteny"), their evolutionary creativity dissipates (along with sexual libido and much enthusiasm and boldness) and the scene is taken over by a higher percentage of chaos and entropy an then the conscious self of authorship aka ego must also disappear gradually (or else it's stories continue without any good relationship to reality, being utterly delusional), because linguist authorship may be an expression of or even an important tool of evolutionary creativity. In other words, "spirituality" (advaita and so on) is a "rationalization" (advertisement) of aging, if not down right dementia, selling aging to the aging, giving social meaning to meaningless decay - you are useless now, but you are easy to get along with. I am well into my fourties and my creative drive has been cooked and shredded by chemo therapy, infections or auto-immune reactions, thrombocytopenic microbleeding, sleep apnea and my author-ship in life is reduced to themes such as that i am the one who is maybe about to find a comfortable bike saddle one day, whereas before i used to think that i was about to become the next carl jung (i am exaggerating to make a point), by inventing a unique synthesis of integral theory, enneagram, socionics and concepts of pathology, of course all by the grace of my genius, as i never had a delusion of total control to begin with. I resonate with what you say and feel like i see life exactly the same, but i cannot differentiate my concept of awakening from my concept of dementia, as i label my "white"-trash-brain ( = destroyed by "white" mass industries, petro-chemistry, live stock ...). Accordingly, i judge other people based on how well their brain works. When they are blown out like me, which many people are, i can easily forgive them for their nature, like you would forgive carnivore animals, but when they appear to be in total control of their lives, professionals, i apply egoic concepts, so i apparently seek to shame them into bettering their ways by appearing resentful of how they operate and of course i am not in control of how i feel about them, appear to them, act around them, as this is just how i see the world and i kinda lack the creative authorship to work on my ways.
Wu Wei 😢