r/AmITheA**hole For Kicking All the Women Out of My Wedding?
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- r/AmITheA**hole For some reason, all of the women in OP's family are incredibly toxic. They prank, harass, and tease other women who join the family. So when OP decides to marry the love of his life, his family members decide to "prank" OP's fiancé by them all showing up to the wedding wearing white. OP kicks them out -- every single one of them. They get upset at OP and his fiancé because they can't handle a "simple prank." Is OP the butthole in this situation?
0:00 Intro
0:06 Daughter sleeps outside
4:33 Xbox can not swim
9:05 Bad son abandons family
11:45 This isn't a prank
🍑 r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Spoiled Son After He Stole From My Company? • r/AmITheA**hole For Fi...
linktr.ee/rslash
#reddit #AmITheButthole #funny
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
So, for the first story: OP did try to make his daughter clean the house once before, but she stopped eating to the point where she had to go to the hospital. That's why he chose a different punishment
So she won then? She didn’t need the hospital he’s just a wuss. You can go up to 30 days depending on fat reserves eating nothing. Probably 20 for her but still. She’d break long before it was actually dangerous.
Wtf is wrong with this girl?
Omfg this girl is not 16 she acts 6
@@youtubeaddict8926the story says 16 bruh 😂😂😂 ya wrong
honestly, natural selection at that point
"Noone should sleep without a roof over their head"
Tell that to the maid who's job almost got nuked and SHE was almost left without a roof over her head.
That brat was in a dire need for a wake up call.
10000000% fact
That was beyond accusing someone of theft. That was trying to frame someone for theft. False accusations are bad, but trying to frame someone is criminal. I would have told the daughter not only are you sleeping outside, but I am saving the recording to show to the police and everyone else if she doesn’t straighten out.
For the last story: I recently had a friend tell me her cousin’s wedding had a white dress group. But the grandmother was at the door of the venue sitting on her walker armed with a water gun with red food coloring. She shot the offenders. And it was so it looked really bad. The bride only found out much later.
video or it didnt happen
@@jiogcyihsugyiocjfdoivhphvw6821 I so wish I had the video.
Best grandmother/wedding guest ever!!!! 🎉🎊👏🙌👍🤯😤🥳🤩🥰😘😏😂😈🤣😉
that's so fun lmao i like that grandma
Honestly, that story sounded like he was talking about a cult.
Not that they are one, but that's how cults gate-keep their flock. Pretty disturbing to say the least.
“Getting a reaction” out of the bride is literally a textbook definition of bullying
As i listened to that story.. i kept thinking... surely there must be some reasonable people on that side of the family. But nope. How do that many people become psychos at once. Then the mother comes along doing the same thing, like that mother is less grown up then most 10 year olds. And most 10 year olds are not very mature. (a few are, most aren't).
Exactly. It’s like all those people shouting “it’s just a prank bro!” After assaulting someone or damaging their property in the street. They knew they were going to be assholes in advance and are just mad people won’t let them get away with being cruel for no other reason than their own amusement
@@cryptfire3158 that was pretty much a family centric cult. They indoctrinate women entering the family with cruelty and tearing down their self esteem then welcoming them in if they commit the same cruelties on someone else.
Exactly, bullying is used to elicit a negative reaction. These women are literally hazing everyone.
Feels like it isn't just what rSlash mentioned about women prefering to be on the inside pranking other women than to be on the outside being pranked, I think a lot of these women were taught this behavior when they were kids and so they grew up thinking this is completely normal and that this is a mandatory family tradition. I'm more suprised at the fact that the men in the family are all spinless and never thought to divorce them or cut them out of their lives or even teach them to stand up for themselves and defend the women from them aside from OP who's the only man in the family to actually protect his wife from these bullies.
First story: She almost got someone fired just for a tantrum? That's a really Karen move. She needs a reality check and fast.
I don't think people understand, the housemaid could've been charged with an actual crime which not only could she have done time for (and who would take care of her family while she was incarcerated?) but her new criminal record (regardless of whether she went to jail or not) would have eliminated her entire career and ability to feed herself and her family. That daughter ..idk man, her behavior sounds like some too far gone kinda ish...her having to sleep in the yard seems like fairly lame punishment and not nearly enough intensive psychotherapy...
@@avamasquerade everybody understands why. That why i think that making her sleep in the back yard is a appropriate punishment. She got one night of what could have been this housemaids life because of her
The girl got the best punishment she could have.
@@avamasquerade the girl was almost crying over sleeping outside. It seems the right punishment for thw girl. She probably will have a sleeping bag and a tent. But I agree with RSlash, a different approach like cleaning and doing the hpusemaids work for a week would of been better
@@laughingdogx8070 From what I heard the last time OP tried to get his daughter to clean the house she stopped eating and was hospitalized at least I think.
That step dad was just afraid of losing his chore slave, not that his son would become lazy.
yup, and stomping hard on any percieved 'disrespect' or compromise. Not sure if he also dumps all the misdirected feelings from other aspects of life, but he sounds like a guy who flies into an explosive rage any time his designated dump person not jumping up 0,00002 seconds after to do what his left pinky just came up with. And overly critical to anything stepdad comes up with if they do
The daughter FRAMED the housemaid for theft, and has the audacity to whine about the punishment? She's lucky they don't call the cops on her. In fact, that may be the wakeup call she needs, especially with that mother trying to downplay her gross behaviour. This is not a one-off incident: it is simply an escalation of her worsening behaviour. OP did the right thing in stomping hard on her. Actions have consequences. Something the mother should also be teaching her, instead of trying to fluff things up.
They? Who?
@@redterrorproductions1373 They= the mom, the dad, and the housemaid. Especially the housemaid.
@@Meg_88 sounds more like someone is scared of misgendering lmfaoo
@@redterrorproductions1373 It was really obvious they in this case referred to more than one person. Also even if it was to avoid misgendering, what's the issue?
@@karlaotte6787 if you are male, you are a male. You can not misgender a male. Same with a woman.
Daughter: *insulting housemaid many times and calling her a thief*
OP: *punishes her*
Daughter: *CONFUSED SCREAMING*
OR
*Surprised Pikachu Face*
OR
"You weren't supposed to do that."
or: "hOw DaRe YoU!"
The punishment was too severe though
@@dracko158 OR 😮😡
Dude...no. first you NEVER use food, water, or shelter as a punishment. Second, did no one notice that all of her "insults" have to do with being "dirty" and her extreme aversion to it?
This girl has some concerning behavior thay require TREATMENT not punishment. Ffs, she starved herself to get out of cleaning. That isn't normal and points to a severe mental health problem.
“If you can’t tell the difference between “tough love” and abuse, then it’s abuse”
As a child abuse survivor, I 100% agree. This isn’t “tough love”, this is an abusive man who’s bullying a child, harassing a child, threatening to destroy a child’s belongings constantly, just urgh. The mans a bully.
As a child of abuse who took her own parents to court, I don’t think this is abuse at all, I think it’s an unusual punishment. Abuse is how she was treating the maid, calling her names and framing her.
@@LyNguyen-sd9kb You're on the wrong story, they're talking about the step-father who threw the son's XBOX in the pool.
Oh dang I was ready to go all in with a ridiculously long paragraph about how you're wrong and why I'm so angry and blah blah blah... and then I realized you're talking about the Xbox story and not the maid story 😂
But yeah you're 1000% right on that👌
@@DinoWolfGal omg totally misread it, sorry everyone!!
I heard that story and it sounded like a softer version of my father.
Last story: OP did EXACTLY what he should've done, and in doing so showed his entire family, his new wife and her family that there WILL be consequences for disrespecting their boundaries.... OP should get negative buttholes for this one
OP might consider exploring additional ways to remind his mother and female relatives that they and their behavior are unacceptable. He made a good beginning.
@@markedwards3647 OP made comments that this started with his mom/grandma, and they systematically bullied all the women of the family into similar behavior. I doubt he can do that when all of them now believe in hazing disguised as tradition. It'd be better he remove himself from the situation
That last story is about a family of "mean girls". Bravo for standing up for your wife. And it's time the other women grow up!
Yup. I wonder how many of them are continued to get bullied and 'pranked' within that group just because, or getting automatically absorbed without consent and being piled onto whenever not wanting to go with the plan onto the next woman
The daughter didn't just accuse the maid of being a thief, but framed her and manipulated her parents - the whole scenario was a setup by the daughter to get the maid in trouble/fired. If this happened in the real world, which she's only a few years away from entering, that level of maliciousness will likely result in being fired from jobs, expelled from institutions, and thrown out of social circles. If the dad softballs the punishment and she doesn't learn here, continuing her ways will destroy her life. What she did was very wrong, and she needs to appreciate that. If she can't turn around in the long term, even after reasonable punishment and patience, disowning is probably all that can be done - I hope it doesn't get that far.
She probably saw titanic and was like, mwa ha ha ha, I know how to deal with this poor person getting in my way!! I will frame them! But she didn't realize that the rich people in that story didn't have to worry about video cameras! 😂😂😂
Jk but the story just reminded me of the Heart of the Ocean storyline from Titanic. Rich person framing a poor person who is threatening their social life with zero regard for the poor persons life/livelihood.
The little sociopath will end up in jail she'll steal from someone in college or work or accuse someone of something awful and maybe there won't be cameras around.
This was an episode of The Brady Bunch I'd never seen before. I sure hope Marsha learned the error of her ways trying to get Alice fired...
@@Ayaforshort that was also spoofed for an episode of Suite Life on Deck and necklace was called the Kidney of the Sea
I agree....if they believed her and didn't have evidence then the housemaid would have been fired and possibly made homeless (if she was live in) so she would have to sleep in the yard. I would have given her a tent and a sleeping bag and been like there you go!
"Stepdad" has no legal meaning and confers no rights or responsibilities. If the new husband is not assigned as legal guardian, then has no leg to stand on. ALSO: Bravo!! To the husband that stood up to his toxic family; you sir are an example to us all. That's how it should be.
He probably just wants adam to do those chores so he can sit with his lazy butt in front of the t.v with a beer.
This story made me angry. Sounds like the stepdad resents Adam and the mother is a spineless fool. He's much better off with his dad. I hope they get compensated for the XBox.
@@mattw8332 It sounds like the mom is one of those women who will always need man to validate her. "I'm afraid to be alone" really means that "I always need a person to validate me." Only you can validate you.
@@evadedenbach1226 Totally agree!
@@velvety2006 Exactly right. Mowing the yard is an adult's responsibility, not a childs.
"Escorting all the bullies out one by one while the others Just watched..."
The other men were in awe at the size of the groom's balls. Good work OP.
Yeah, all the men aside OP were all spineless against the women and of course they're speechless towards the only man in the family to actually stand up against the bullies and protect his wife from them.
ex wife: "He wouldn't have destroyed the Xbox if he didn't care
Me: If that's caring I would hate to see what not caring would look like
Second story: “Adam won’t be responsible if he has an Xbox!”
Love how the stepdad ignores that Adam worked a job that HAD responsibilities to pay for his OWN Xbox
He's a power obsessed manchild
Precisely. I'm surprised Op didn't mention that he had to be responsible to scrape together the money to get even half of that
@@ilyte1 he did say Adam bought that with his own money so I'm not surprised
@@JordanDragonAs to the stepdad
Is OP sure his ex remarried? It sounds like she just adopted another kid. That stepfather is too immature to be called an adult.
1st story - OP definitely should have made his daughter clean the house.
he tried and it didn't work
@@liamzakhaev Did she refuse to do it? Because, if that were my daughter, I'd tell her she doesn't get a choice. And then I'd take her things away until she did as she was told.
@@WinterRose4444 She would starve herself to the point of hospitalization, it's germaphobia at mental illness levels.
@@liamzakhaev Then she should have inpatient medical care at a proper facility. Maybe they can also see why she's such a hateful grunt to the poor housekeeper.
@@WinterRose4444 outpatient treatment is the best first resort in this scenario, first of all she can function in society for the most part and second of all suddenly imprisoning a person in a secure psychiatric facility can lead to even more trauma or complete psychological collapse.
The stepdad story makes me so mad because that’s how my stepdad acts- when I was like 9 I asked my mum about moving in with my dad just because I was curious I didn’t even want to but she told my stepdad that I threatened to leave. He in retaliation went up to my room, got my PlayStation which I loved to death and smashed it INFRONT of me. Just for being curious a grown man smashed a 9 year olds ps4
Let them all wear white and show up in something bright and colorful to your wedding. make them blend in while you stand out
With the wedding story, is there any way to give OP negative buttholes? He deserves some extra credit for standing so firm to defend his wife. Those two are going to make it.
I mean we do not know what the wife is like, but if shes anything like op theyll make it for sure
Also give a negative score to the males of the family that tried to warn OP or stood by his side (like his dad and I think brother)
@@iBleeef if op is ready to defend his wife till his last breath, I think she'll do the same
Negative buttholes. Haha, sounds like a prolapse. Give the guy a prolapse.
Also, if any of you don't know what that is, you probably woudn't want to know.
@@cryptfire3158 yikes
As a dude in his late 20's I can firmly say that grandma op is not the butthole. I'd take it a step further and tell my 40 year old son to either step up as a father or ill leave his inheritance to the grandchild and the baby mama.
Great minds think alike! Screw the deadbeat dad. Also how the hell can he afford to just up and quit his job? Sounds like mom and dad have been supporting this 40 year old jackass.
that Grandmother is a Saint and i would fight for here.
I love how you think! Two can play his game of irresponsibility.
I’d give that guy a negative butthole score, he’s a hero to that baby girl and the mother.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Last story: I would have worn a deep scarlet wedding dress and made them part of a theme without them knowing!
You don’t prank the bride during the wedding, this is how you ruin someone’s marriage
The last story: that isn't teasing it's generational bullying. Good on OP for breaking the cycle!
it's sad that the older men have let it go on so long.
@@BallGuy89 the OP of that post made comments saying all this started with either his grandma or mom (I forgot which) and bullied the other women in the family into compliance
It's kind of cult like behavior
Last story, husband didnt do thing wrong, If anything the husband is a bit of a butthole for even allowing this to happen after hearing about it. I'd flatout made a stink and say anyone who's going to disrespect my wife by showing up in white is flatout not invited. I'd name names, call them out by name. Phone calls or social media. "if you show up in white, I will personally kick you out and cut you out of my life" establishing a hard line that shouldn't be crossed.
That women circle is so messed up. New girl around? Let's break her and have her conform under the dusguise of a silly prank. It's so unbelievably toxic. OP even warned them multiple times to NOT do that and made it the consequence very clear. Well they kept pushing and suffered for it. Good for OP for standig up for his wife.
Should've had buckets of red paint on standby and any time one of them stepped up with a white dress, throw paint on the dress and ruin it.. so they wouldn't get their deposits back, or wouldn't be able to return the dresses.
That's a lawsuit waiting to happen! meaning what would they do and say if say a new woman in the coming into the family has self-esteem issues? because of their heckling goes and commits suicide what would they say would they say? "oh it wasn't our fault? she just can't take a joke?" or "she should have knew we were only playing joke? she shouldn't of taken it so seriously?"those lock those bytches up in prison see how far they get with that shyt!
FYI I have to censor what I say with any curses cos of CZcams(CommunistTube) not letting me say what I have to properly.
@@Corathor Yeah and if they even tried to say something, tell those witches "Aaaw, come on, I thought you could handle a little prank"
It’s like a scene out of Mean Girls.
@@Corathor And when they complain just say “It’s just a prank, Sis!”
The wedding story. I'd sue them for the cost of the wedding they ruined! This was sick.
The grandma stepping up to take care of her grand-daughter is so sweet... I really hope she doesn't cave to her son & daughter's demands to cut ties with the kid & her mum. That happened to me when I was 4, & at 40, it still hurts.
That last story sounds like a cycle of abuse too. Break down a person, then give them a chance to join, and when they do, rinse and repeat. Which is why they didn’t see a problem with this.
Stop destroying them all. I’ll have nothing to gaze at. And are there 61 others??
@@stargazer1998 It took me waaayy too long to figure out your comment. 😂 Nicely done.
@@luvondarox I thought I was having a stroke but then I noticed
wait, isnt that how most people describe cults? is the women in op's family just a huge ass cult?
@@firebrand7816 Sounds like it. And they're all female too. It would've been worse if this cult is of men lead by the uncles and OP's dad instead. Also, I can't believe that even OP's dad's wife actually gave into this and therefore, didn't divorce her at all.
4th story: the fact that they try to crash a wedding and then play the victim card is astounding. Like NO you're not the one wronged here
Even if they weren't. Its Op and his wife's wedding, they both didn't want them there. They all grouped up and gossiped about his wife like 12 year old girls in high school. They need to grow up.
man to think these ppl involved were adults :/
Right, I never understand those people. They are like: "Its a prank don't worry about it. Just let us do this." When shit starts popping off. And its like OP caught wind of this before they did it and they said: "Oh we won't dare do such a thing." And then lo and behold your here, doing the exact thing you said you wouldn't do. And yet I'm the aggressive one for calling you on your bullshit lie and then kicking you out because you think your getting your way. Fuck off, these people sometimes.
@@rosetta5994 They aren't adults, they're just older kids. Adults don't act like that, they don't deserve to be called adults.
@@Felinecultist A prank is only a prank if everyone is laughing, not just the prankster and their cronies
One of my favourite words from Chinese internet slang is "wife-defending demon", usually used to describe (with positive intent) fictional characters who are very devoted to and protective of their wives. OP from the last story is a wife-defending demon, as he should be.
Story 1: NTA. As the old saying goes "desperate times call for desperate measures". If OP's daughter still refuses to cut out the bad influence on her, you have to take a more drastic approach. The problem with today's society is exactly this: parents refusing to dole out harsh punishments when they know their children have repeatedly flouted rules, which is a primary reason why we get all these Reddit entitled people stories.
Story 2: NTA. I am willing to bet the stepdad is also a manipulative narcissist, cause the ex-wife clearly is oblivious about her new husband's behavior. If there's any silver lining to this story, OP's son should be glad he has a pillar of support against the power tripping stepdad. Most children who suffered abuse never have that pillar of support, which explains why they get so screwed up down the line.
Story 3: NTA. However, I have to be critical and say OP has failed as a parent, given the way his son behaved. Something is definitely wrong with one's parenting if the child grows up to be so immature and irresponsible.
Story 4: NTA big time. OP, I hate to say it, but there is something wrong in your household to raise this toxic "hen house". Props to you for laying down the law, but I cannot say the same for the rest of the men in your family. Certain people will criticize me for saying this, but women love to pull these "tests" to see how much they can get away with their BS, and unfortunately for OP, his family failed miserably. Best to go "no contact" with these family members, cause I fear it's a lost cause.
EDIT: Typos and grammar
In defense of the father, he did take care of the granddaughter and sometimes behavior isn’t always the parents’ fault outside influences are also in the blame and some people end up bad even if they’re taught good, like this rich daughter whose mother taught her about how luck they’re to be rich, but later when she’s a teen, she treated her maid like dumpster fire, but the mom caught her and punished her.
Rslash sure sounds like a city dweller when he says "isn't there a safety concern when a 16 year old sleeps in the backyard'. The family has a maid which says they are doing well financially, so I'm pretty sure they have a pretty nice backyard that isn't available for the public to look at.
Yeah, considering their situation, its probably not a huge issue. And considering its his kid, i doubt they wouldnt have a tent at least, so its like shes just camping.
@@TheAlphaWolf77 she's a faux germaphobic
Also what R/slash suggested, OP mentioned in the comments that tried that but she went on a hunger strike and sleeping in the backyard is nothing since he can give her a tent and camping stuff. Plus the "filthy" part can also go along with homeless/poor people who have to survive on anything and sacrifice somethings... it can also be a racial thing too, so OP's punishment is actually a teaching lesson.
I actually pictured the scene in Parasite when the little boy camps in his backyard
I agree, but I think the best punishment would have been to make her clean the toilets
Did all those supposedly adult women just try the "it's just a prank bro" defense?
Yes.
Yep. Many times over.
Nah... they are just Mean Girls... too bad they are a bit too old for high school kids.
Story 4: Op has a very tough spine to stand up to multiple close family members and to do so consistently and come out of it with a little bit of doubt is really admirable. I hope op knows just how strong his resolve is to do that for his wife. Most people would have caved or cut contact, but on that note, I think it would be best to cut contact and not to contact them again under any circumstances. He has his new family now and these people will only tear it down.
Wedding dress story: OP's relatives showed who they are, and they're clearly trash, so OP should just throw them out of his life and be done with it.
For the four story: they beat people down emotionally to the point that when they finally except that person said person joins in on the emotional torment… That sounds like something a cult would do. They are creating a cult.
Good point. They say it's to test who's a good fit for their family, but it sounds like what the matriarch of the family is really testing is "Who will let me treat her like crap and bow to my every wish because any woman who's unwilling to be my mindless slave and flunky is not a good match for (my abusive, dictatorial vision of) this family."
@@erickpoorbaugh6728 yeah. The mom and grandma want to grow their cult of like-minded pushovers
it is hazing
If only someone believed in the principle "You talk shit, you get hit"
The word of the day is: Consequences.
Actions have them.
Newtons third law pretty much sums it all up. Wouldn't you agree?
When will you learn? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN?????
@@Michijoy *_THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!_*
Regarding the last segment: That's not "teasing," that's flat-out hazing. It has all the earmarks, especially when the hazee becomes a hazer in the next hazing episode. The hazers, like all bullies, don't seem to like being hazed back, though.
Give her a tent and a sleeping bag. She'll be fine. Trying to destroy someone's livelihood can lead them to being homeless. Let her love with the potential repercussions of her own perfidy.
"Xbox Can Not Swim"
One: Why does this need to be said
And
Two: I love these chapter names so damn much
I will prove that theory wrong by throwing my Xbox into the pool!
Swim like the win…💩
Microsoft after making Xbox fridge: After reading that. Now we will make Yatch.
if my son's SD would do this i would sue him for child abuse and destroying property.
Also would beat the shit out of him when noone is looking.
bro it's true!!!! i threw my xbox in the neighbour's pool and it sank! 🤯😂
@@ReigoVassal lol
That last story. That doesn’t sound like teasing, it sounds like hazing. “We’re testing to see if they can be part of the family” is in no way innocent here or in any case
Not to mention joining their family is not some kind of reward. The family not anything special. They are just some middle class family. One of a thousand. Just like mine and probably most listening.
yep, it is hazing. 100%
Story 1: grew up with a cleaning lady who cleaned my house every friday (i lived with my mom and grandparents, she works for my grandparents). I can not imagine being harsh to her at all, i grew up with her. I can’t fucking imagine being rude to someone i grew up with. Shame on her.
A family isn't some sorority
You don't get to haze people that are getting married into the family
Especially when it's literally straight up bullying
All the women in OP's family seem super toxic
And that's how you deal with toxic people
Doesn't matter that they're family
In the last post, according to Rslash “ A prank is only a prank when everyone laughs “ and from what I can ascertain, only the women in OP’s family would be laughing. The mother saying that they would change their clothes afterwards is an outright lie. I believe that they would have taken pictures in those white outfits. Also they would clown and ridicule your wife every time she shows up at a family engagement. OP definitely is NTA because he set clear concise boundaries and they disregarded them and disrespected his wife on their most important day. Personally I’d go no contact with all of them. Their narcissistic and cruel.
4th story NTA Gotta love how they pull the classic “Just a prank bro excuse.” No it’s not a prank it’s them trying to be attention seekers at someone else’s wedding day.
Personally I would have dumped red wine or iced tea on all those white dresses and forced them to sit in public at the wedding with no change of clothes.
prank is "haha i moved your phone to the kitchen table and then pretended i don't know where it as so you would confused for a second"
not "crash your wedding in white, after you told spesficly it will deeply hurt the bride's feeling"
Literally wearing white dresses or anything flashy that takes away from the bride is absolutely disrespectful to the bride and is generally widely known *not* to do. It's literally Wedding Guest 101. Good on Groom for standing up for his Queen!
The moment the step dad said he had the “right” to do what he wanted to Adam, I would have shut that shit down right then. You are NOT his father. You do NOT get that right.
The wedding story, let’s take the wife out of the picture for a second. The son set a boundary and his mother decided that a potential prank, was more important than her own son’s wedding. She choose the prank, she choose the drama, she chooses the punishment.
and good riddance, the whole group is scum as humans.
Hi, the OP on the first story actually tried that.
But his daughter didn't eat for over a week and went to ER to not do the punishment.
So he HAD to be creative and used her phobia to force her to realize that the maid is who is keeping the place safe for her.
That's crazy, how did his daughter even become so insane?
You shouldn't use someone's phobia as punishment. It is literally torture. What the girl needs is probably therapy. There is something else going on.
@@Ikajo nah , therapy wouldn’t solve the problem . Therapy identifies the issues and then presents ways to solve it . If op was to take her to therapy she would just assume that image can do anything , and her only consequence is a few hours in therapy . Meaning that OP would still have to deal with her behavior .
@@izraelburgess937 yeah, therapy only works if you want your problem to be resolve.
not many parent realize that, but it something that should come as offer of help (that need to be accepted), not as a form of punishment.
using her phobia is be by the book torture.
there are plenty of other punishment (even as bad as this one) that don't involve her specific fear.
I gotta give props to that grandmother for caring about that poor woman and the child. She didn’t even know the woman, she was just her son’s one night stand, but the grandmother took them in anyways and accepted them as family. That’s a negative butthole score in my opinion
When I hear stories like that last one, it makes me so thankful I have a normal family.
Edit on the first story: The reason I chose this punishment was because of the fact that my daughter says she is a germaphobe and use this as excuse to insult others hygiene and appearance, our backyard has dirt and bugs in it and this kind of things get her uncomfortable but other than that the backyard is 100% safe
Question/ why doesn't she clean up and do house chores as punishment instead?.
because I've already tried this punishment before and it didn't work because she deliberately stopped eating for days to get out of it, and ended up in the emergency department for low blood pressure
Ok your daughter needs therapy. She is not behaving normally.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 yeah, starving yourself to not have consequences is insane
A backyard can't be 100% safe though. I imagine there's other punishments beyond making then sleep in dirt and making them clean a house. If she has a tent though then I think it's totally fine
@@bassmantjox1299 I think OP should probably send her to therapy or other forms of help because tbh, that’s not okay nor normal in any sense. She’s willing to harm herself to avoid punishment, not calling OP a butthole but I’m just pointing out a red flag.
@@stellarkirbo I was just about to say that also can we stop with normalizing punishing children obviously consequences are a thing but punishment just isn’t it I mean this just proves how toxic punishment is I think the daughter has deeper issues going on and no one is willing to look into that because it’s easier to punish someone just my opinion though
Story 1: Was actually going to suggest what you did. If the maid cleaning certain areas is 'filthy', then how about the maid doesn't, it gets filthier, daughter can clean it herself if she has a problem. Daughter can clean the whole damned house if she hates the maid so much.
Story 2: It's abuse, plain and simple. I absolutely loathe anyone who just destroys their childs' property to assert power. My besties step dad literally smacked a PS4 because his siblings were fighting over who got to play Mario. It wasn't tough love, it was scary, it was traumatizing, it was wasteful.
Story 3: Son sounds a man baby. OP's just being a good person. I can guess whose getting more inheritance lol.
Story 4: You know there's this word we used in primary school, I think it was called... hm, what was it? Right! "Bullying!" It's not cute, it's just cruel. OP warned them very clearly that he'd kick out anyone that showed up in white, they ignored him and acted like infants. OP sounds like a great husband.
Read comments, realised in Story 1 the dad _did_ try that suggestion but she went on hunger strikes like an immature brat. Option 2 then, just don't have the maid clean, give her a paid vacation.
You can play mario on the ps4?
I found the story. They did as you suggested before... She went on a hunger strike so bad she went to the hospital with low blood pressure.
@@NekoYuki Which suggest bigger issues not being addressed.
Daughter in story 3 sounds entitled too. I hope OP is a genuine nice person and didn't somehow screw up her children to become such assholes
a prank is when everyone laughs not just the ones pulling the prank, that makes it bullying. Op’s family ( the women) in the 4th story are hella toxic, they “prank” to see if people are worthy of being in the family, what kind of none sense is that?
the story about the family “testing the waters” infuriates me more than i can contain
SHOW UP TO THE WEDDING WEARING WHITE is a whole new low
bullying was already bad enough but ruining their special day knowing full well wearing the same colour as the bride is a taboo and still did it is so fucked
For the wedding OP: If my family members had pulled that crap with my wife, I wouldn't be complaining about not seeing them for two weeks. If I didn't see them again until the heat death of the universe, it would be too soon. The sheer gall and toxicity isn't worth causing trouble in your new marriage. 0/5 for OP, and I 100% agree with rSlash on the 5/5 for the women. The men in the family get 3/5 for staying silent and supporting them instead of standing up for what's right.
Isn't Adam old enough to choose who he wants to stay with at this point? This level of abuse should be enough to call CPS on the stepfather.
It depends
maybe the dad really wanted adam to move out so he can have his mom for himself. of course, when he knocks her up adam needs to come over again and babysit Uhm I mean bond with his sibling while mom and stepdad go out.
Depends on state law
@@velvety2006 no just no having a relationship with the baby is one thing but I would have the baby stay with Adam not the step-dad and the step dad should never be trusted around kids if he can't deal with one that is older
Lily is so fortunate to have an amazing grandparent in OP. If anything OP needs to cut off their kids who are complaining because the baby is innocent and deserves to be loved and looked after. I also love that OP is helping the mom get her degree. OP may have failed at raising decent children but at least they're making up for their mistakes.
Eeeeeeh honestly from my own point of view, I wouldn't want to have a kid although if you are 40 years old and with enough money to dip on your job, why the fuck not get a vesectomy. Like??? The hell is the guy doing lol.
sounds like the son and daughter are worried their inheritance is wasted or as we see it, spend in a better way lol.
@@mrcaterpillow9926 Even if he doesn’t want to raise the kid, he still needs to pay child support. He deliberately quit his job so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. He’s being an ass.
@@mask938 No one should be forced to take care of a child period. It's scummy as shit, of course but if he wants nothing to do with a kid then fuck it. He is never going to be a father, he will never care for that kid and be will never love that kid. The Grandmother is a hell of a woman who wants to be involved with her grandchild so good on her.
@@mrcaterpillow9926 He doesn’t need to be involved with the kid, but he’s legally required to pay child support. He could get into legal trouble for refusing to pay child support.
Story 2: all I’ll say is, parents that put their new significant others and what they say and their bs above the well being and mental and emotional health of their child, don’t deserve to be parents
To be honest, first time I read the title I thought the story was going to be about a VERY insecure bride
First OP's tried having his daughter do the chores, but she went on a hunger strike. Grounding wouldn't work because she still needs to go to school. I'd say this is situation that calls for an "unusual" punishment (and he gave her a tent and stuff, so she wasn't just sleeping on the ground exposed to the elements).
Even without a tent she should be fine though 😆 it was warm weather, just plonk a mattress or sleeping bag on the grass & done.
Interesting! How do you know all the that?
@SilkandStones Oh on Reddit you mean? Yeah, possibly. Makes sense.
The daughter's hunger strike was so bad she ended up needing hospitalization. Which is a very severe overreaction from ANYONE in response to chores for punishment. OP ought to take his daughter for a mental health checkup if she goes to this extreme to avoid doing basic housework
Ya think CPS would be cool with that unusual punishment?
Story 1:
I agree with the punishment. OP's daughter calling someone "filthy" and making fun of their clothes and etiquette is very much wrong. She doesn't seem to know what "filthy" means, so it would be good for her to actually "understand" what that truly entails. As for her being "germophobe", I call BS on that otherwise she wouldn't even have tried placing one of her belongings in someone's purse/pocket, especially when they call said someone "filthy." OP most likely set up a tent for her and didn't explain it. She deserves it.
Furthermore considering the fact that if she does that to the housemade, how do you think she treats homeless people? (Reminds me of that other story where a parent did a similar thing to their child and that taught them some empathy too.)
Story 2:
Tough love? That stepfather is a fucking idiot, and one has to wonder if that's "Just" the only thing he has been doing to the kid. Property Damage is a crime and the guy could be sued for it. Adam's mother is also an enabler too, so yeah, she deserves the score.
Story 3:
OP's daughter and son are fucking maniacs. I'd disown both of them for their shitty attitude. Son is a selfish bastard and daughter is a moronic bitch by suggesting cutting ties with her niece's family.
Story: 4
The initial description sounds more like a cult than anything else, wtf?
Not the asshole. They had clear guidelines they disrespected. Any of those cult-like "cliques" within families are 100% to be cut off as soon as possible. Good on OP for standing up for his wife and for sticking to his boundaries. I'd go no contact with them from that point onward.
Some people are filthy 🤷♀️ it's a descriptive word so I don't see any wrong with say someone is filthy if they are. But trying to make the flate mate look like they stole the phone that was wrong in my opinion
@@SilverGhxst Not a flatmate, literally the housekeeper, the person that's paid to clean their mess.
"Slut" is also a descriptive word, but it isn't right to call someone one even if they are one. That kid is just a horrible person or someone who definitely needs to be steered away from her current "friend groups."
Apparently in the first story OP did made the daughter do the housemaid chores. However, she acted like a brat and went on hunger strike for a week and was apparently hospitalized.
@@SilverGhxst Bruh wtf is wrong with you. Did you even read the post?
@@kranberry3318 is Jenna B the daughter in this story? lol
About the wedding story, he should go by his wife's maiden name and leave those emotionally toxic fucks behind.
why have a bad family when you have good inlaws?
Wearing white dresses in a wedding and using it as a test and a prank is so messed up. A group of women wearing white dresses in someone elses wedding is Toxic and thinks its funny to try and ruin someone elses special day as a Prank and a test.
The idea of a bunch of clucking hens "testing" someone else is both enraging and hilarious to me. The only thing they would be testing at my wedding is my fucking patience to hire a bouncer who owns a TASER. Family or not, Mother or not, this sounds absolutely ridiculous.
ur insulting hens
A TASER being at that wedding would have made the story much more interesting. Want to prank my bride? Get ready for the "shock" of your life!
In that last story, I would have greeted them with a super soaker with red colored dye.
OP showed his loyalty to his wife and he did an amazing job. I reccomend telling your dad that a divorce might be needed because this mom just sucks and needs a bit of sadness to sprinkle in. And same with all the men that are married to these women sorry if that seems rude but they are toxic and so much more that isn't someone anyone should be married with.
Oh my gosh, that 3rd story. The grandma is so sweet despite having such a horrid son. Imagine being the girl being a single mom and being dumped by the baby daddy, just to have his mother graciously help in every and any way she can. What a wonderful grandmother ❤️
Story 1: If they can afford a maid, I'm sure they have a decent backyard. They probably have some nice comfy pool chairs she can sleep in.
A brat that thinks calling someone filthy, then nearly getting that someone arrested because her parent grounded her from A PARTY, deserves to sleep outside, in the dirt.
Yeah, I'm not thinking their yard is at all likely to be dangerous. My parents would have put us in the yard in a hot second. And believe me our yard wasn't anywhere you'd want to 'camp'. LOL Frankly my parents were old school...we'd probably prefer that to the ass whoopings they tended to give out.
Yeah, and I bet they can afford military school if that little mean girl wants to f around and find out and behave worse in retaliation to being made to sleep in the yard.
im gonna say the n word
@@Nekulturny I got to say, treating the intro to the military as substitute parenting and discipline doesn't reflect well on the parent.
yeah! hell i have a pool. and no maid. my backyard is safe af. except for birds
My family has the same ideal of "joking around" where it gets taken way too far, and my boyfriend refuses to go anywhere near their home because of it, and I whole heartedly agree. Not the Butthole.
I’m so happy you’re a dad. When your child grows, it sounds like your punishments will be fair lol. Great job, slash ☺️😅
2nd story: I understand the need for tough love sometimes and maybe Adam was slacking a bit, I mean wouldn't any child be if they finally bought something they were saving up for. But in that case the "tough love" they need is a stern conversation and maybe some time limitations or if it gets really bad, take it away like OP says.
Destroying something is never an act of love, so destroying something from your child (whether they bought it or you did doesn't matter) can never be "tough love" it's just that simple.
4th story: rSlash reads the title *record scratch* tab back into youtube to rewind a bit. Well this is gonna be an easy one *grab popcorn*
well I agree with rSlash just take the win and hope they leave you alone completely and remember to inform everyone of the full story if they start lying on social media.
For the third story, I’d love to see an update a few years later hoping that if the little girl actually meets that worst excuse son, she’d run to OP in fear and ask “Mommy told me to never talk to strangers!”
Honestly, he should’ve gotten 100 assholes out of 5.
I found it incredibly cringe how entitled the OP's children were. The only reason they would tell her not to spend her own money on her granddaughter, is because they see it as theirs. Imagine getting jealous of a child you abandoned, because your mummy wasn't focusing on you anymore 🙄
I love how the family in the wedding story was testing to see if the bride was “one of those bridezillas” by the women wearing all white to her wedding. As if that wouldn’t be something that make anybody understandably upset in that situation.
when he says 'sleep outside' I'm going to assume in a tent, not throwing a blanket out into the yard and saying 'goodnight'
There was a story I heard on one of these CZcams channels where the mom made their daughter sleep outside because they were being mean to a homeless person and afterwards the daughter learned what it's like to be a homeless person and so having the daughter in this first story clean the stuff that the maid would have cleaned is a more fitting punishment
There was an update that isn't covered in this video. They tried that in the past and it didn't work. The daughter responded by stopping eating and had to be hospitalised.
Sleeping outside at our place would involve curious wild life, armadillos, raccoons, opossums, and possibly coyotes. My kids would love it.
Bad weather? They described it as hot at night. That sounds kind of comfortable for outdoor sleeping. And they never said there was no tent involved.
I actually read the first story on reddit and the punishment you suggested, he had already done that and she basically straight up just didn't do the chores. The sleeping in the back yard was like... a final straw.
Once heard someone was going to a friend's weddings in a white dress. I stood by the door with a squirt gun full of red wine
I would have give my house keeper the daughter’s phone, and buy her a flip phone as punishment
Anyone else notice that since Rslash became a father he has been reading a lot of family stories
Sure did, and I love it. Good perspective. At this time, in this current place, I need a gentler observation.
noticed, not complaining 😌✊
He went off a couple of episodes ago when he mentioned a lazy ass mom that wanted her 17 year old daughter to miss a school dance because she needed her to watch over a 14 year old sister that was about to have a surgical procedure done and a autistic 9 year old brother just so mommy could go have a get together with her sister and friends and she had the utter gall to say that her daughter needs to understand that being forced to be a free babysitter is a "small sacrifice" for family.
I like how he listed all types of family members at 15:45 as if they were viable options for choosing as a "life partner" 💀
"I haven't talked to them in two weeks."
Me: Oh look, the trash took itself out.
Thank you for another AITA video. These are definitely my favorite!
I love all of your videos BTW just that these are my favorite
these are also my favorites!
True I love them ❤️❤️
same
Same
3rd story: OP should've also gotten a lawyer so that his son learns about consequences. Not wanting to be around the kid is one thing, but purposely quiting your job so you don't have to pay child support is beyond selfish. Depending on the state, the son can still face legal trouble not paying, even if he doesn't have a job.
The last story sounds too unreal...women like this exist?? Also, what happens when one of the females brings in a guy to this family? Does he face the same treatment too? I commend OP for digging his feet so far down the ground that even a tornado wouldn't budge him.
It sounded like the son WAS paying, but quit his job so the child support would cost him less since it tends to be income-based.
For the 4th story, this treatment is only for women who marry into the family. Men are exempt. So that family’s women also have internalized misogyny.
One of the comments on that reddit post said that the women have the mentality of “we’ll break your wife into a pushover doormat so she can better take care of you”
OMG 😳 that 4th story was crazy. What's more telling is the men married to these women, they are spineless. I'm glad the groom in this story isn't following their twisted mean ways. Standing up to your family for the sake of your new bride in my opinion is exactly what needed to be done.
Stepdad: I want to teach him to be a responsible adult.
Also stepdad: teaches child it’s ok to break someone’s stuff if they don’t listen to your demands...
I think there was a similar story to the 1st one about a girl insulting a homeless man and the mother punished her daughter by making her sleep outside in a tent, making her think about how she treated people. I'd say the first story is similar, even if the circumstances are slightly different. R Slash agreed with the homeless punishment, this one isn't much different.
And apparently the OP in this story tried to make the daughter clean as punishment before. She went on a hunger strike and ended up going to the ER. So obviously the “usual” punishment wouldn’t have worked in this case. They should probably get this girl into therapy before this gets worse
That one had a tent.
@@mariposa9506 Nobody said she wouldn’t have a tent though. Rslash is just assuming she wouldn’t get a tent
Considering also how 1st op worded his story a i have a feeling they live in a country where sleeping outside your house wouldn't be as dangerous people in other place would expect.
The last story. I give OP so much credit to stand up against his toxic family for the woman he loves! Most people who are in toxic families have a hard time seeing how toxic it is and even if they do usually don't have the strength to set hard boundaries with them. I am so glad to see that there is Real men out there like this that exist! Plus, if they did accept her into the family they would have bullied her to make her just like them and she would probably go along with it because she wouldn't want to ruin your relationship with your family. He saved his wife and himself a lot of future heartache by doing what he did and I'm so happy to hear he stood by the woman he loved in such a hard situation. Well done OP!!!
A whole part of the family being insulting and recruiting new people to join in is a level of toxic family I've never heard of until now.
“I haven’t seen these people in two weeks”
Glad to know this wedding story has a happy ending cause I wouldn’t want to see such disrespectful people ever again either
first story: that’s something my father threatened to do to us if we ever a ted like jerks to people. unless that guy’s father is one of those entitled snobs it’s very likely he himself was threatened with the same thing as a teen
third story: that’s exactly like my former BIL, only OP’s son isn’t defrauding the government by using his kid as a way of escaping paying any taxes or liens
I think the best punishment here would be to have cleaning duty for a few weeks. I mean... her calling someone filthy for cleaning up after other people's mess. Time to get filthy yourself then missy, and do the cleaning!
He once gave someone a zero out of five for the same punishment a while ago
@@dyltube6395 There where more context to that one, more info. The parent wasnt just throwing the daughter outside and locking the door, and the outcome was also shown. And probably most importantly. Punishment fit the crime.
@@dyltube6395 yeah, he’s inconsistent and was missing key things like her having something to sleep on as just kicking her out is criminal but giving her a tent and sleeping bag isn’t
@@annika5893 op explained in an update that he tried making her clean and when he did, she'd go on a hunger strike and starve herself until she was on the verge of hospitalization/ death.
Simple solution for “ladies man.” Disinherit him and put mom and granddaughter in will.
Damn straight
And give the daughter an ultimatum
The thing is, when someone lies when telling the story to people uninvolved, it means they know they were in the wrong and are making a last ditch effort to make you look bad. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t need to lie in the first place. It is essentially an admission of guilt
Respect to the first dad,you did a good thing.
Given that they can afford a maid and have the resources to make a teenage Karen feel like she's the princess of everywhere I'm sure that the garden/yard is a safe place to sleep in,she will feel icky ,unkempt and small af for a day ,but that is absolutely necessary.
For the first story there was an update from OP that explained that he has one of those high-security fenced in backyards, as well as one of those fancy brick patios, and basically those idealistic backyards so she was completely protected and didn’t even have to touch dirt if she didn’t want to.
Makes sense since they had a housemaid and all.
The toxic family wedding story makes his family sound like a damn cult. How toxic and gross do they gotta be towards other ppl and childish to act like petty, immature children
even immature children wouldnt do something that mean
man, just seeing OP in the last story saying the female relatives make a 'unit' made me feel sick. when i was a kid, i'd team up with my siblings and cousin to bully a younger cousin, and damn i cringe about it. suddenly reminds me of the time my friends made a secret group behind my back discussing on who my crush was when a best friend accidentally slipped it out, it made my head and heart hurt like hell. maybe it was what i deserve as karma years later, but damn, i just hate it when people form groups to gang up on people. anyway.
edit : oh God, what kind of story did i just listen to...?
That last story reminded me of a documentary I watched years ago about an African tribe where where when a woman from outside the tribe marries into the tribe the women of said tribe harass the crap out of her and break down her self esteem while they travel back to their settlement. I don't remember how long the harassment lasts but eventually the women turn around and become super supportive and caring to the new girl. IIRC this was a method to help newcomers feel more welcome into the tribe by basically rushing past the awkward stranger phase and go straight into being family.