What Does the Bible say About Narcissism ? | Sharmen Kimbrough
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- čas přidán 21. 12. 2021
- Narcissism is a term that we've heard more and more people talking about in recent years, but it’s actually not anything new. The problem of “self-ism” and relationship conflict has been around for thousands of years - the bible refers to it as people who are prideful, boastful, contentious, and lovers of themselves.
In this episode, Sharmen and John talk about narcissism through the lens of the bible and address some of the questions their clients struggle with, like how they can respond to a spouse’s abuse in a way that honors God and what the bible says.
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
🌐 WEBSITE: marriagerecoverycenter.com/
☎️ PHONE: (206) 219-0145
📧 EMAIL: info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Thank you! This described my marriage of 29 years! My husband never put me first. His parents were always in the middle of our marriage. I am getting divorced and healing! I wish I had known this 50 years ago!
Lisa I am 68 & had a narcissistic father & younger brother, pastor, workmates & bosses & in my youth & middle-age years, I did not hear about narcissism & now in myolder years I now know!! My life would have been different, if I would have known!! Even the media years/decades ago would not allow discussion on narcissism!!
It’s refreshing to hear you say “this is not what God wants for you” amen.
2 Timothy 3 says in the last days men will be lovers of their own self. That fits as a characteristic of narcissistic behavior.
intriguing for sure😮
Exactly!
And these people get married.
Man, is man kind. So all of mankind both male and female will be Narcissistic.
I have no desire to control any person. I just want people to control "THEMSELVES".
And without this kind of education (conversation), and self examination ? They will never see the need to do so.
In a narcissistic marriage, 30 years. I'm worn. Praying for a miracle healing of his mind and strength to endure.
Me too. I share in your experience in the number of years, your condition, and your prayers. Only my narc is my wife
Me too, Nancy! I’ve been in a narcissistic marriage for 36 years! TOTALLY drained!!!! Marriage counseling, individual counseling, separation, boundaries - no change. Praying for him every single day. Please know I am praying for you and all others who are undergoing abusive marriages! God help us all!
@@tonyrobbins1665 I am so sorry 😞
@V S thank you for praying. I haven't met someone who beat me by years. Always praying for a miracle. I am so grateful for prayers 🙏
@@nancypeery1273 You are welcome! After having learned a lot about NPD, especially from the MRC and other sources, I feel like it truly is an epidemic. So many women (mostly) and men who are on the receiving end of the abuse have very similar descriptions for what is happening in their relationships/marriages. Dr. Hawkins’ videos/books describe MY LIFE with my husband! He and his team KNOW what we are up against. It is absolutely “life sucking” and so very difficult to maintain the best version of myself! It is VERY hard to find counselors/Church pastors/leaders who know and understand what this abuse actually is and for all the victims to get the necessary support and help they so need! Not only do I pray for my husband and myself, but all the other souls out there who are suffering like us! 🙏. God bless you, Nancy, and give you His Peace!
I can’t thank you enough for tackling this from a biblical perspective. Yes! They are fools who reject reproof and want to be God! 🙏
Are you married to one?
Prayers to help and do not give up.
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
I stayed married to a narcissist for 38 years. It eventually got physically abusive and he tried to kill me a couple times. I had to leave.
If you don’t mind me asking, how long was it before it became physically abusive?
My wife unfortunately is the narcissist. I am the blame for everything wrong in our relationship. I can never do anything right. She makes me question reality!
Yes, it can be the woman as well. Try to create some space for you to be able to rediscover and listen to your own voice rather than letting hers drown out your own voice and squash your identity. Here's a video you may find helpful:
Hope for Victims of Emotional Abuse
czcams.com/video/u9XkQuHLEJY/video.html
Get out of it. Save yourself.
Why put up with an abuser ? we are to forgive yes but we do not have to tolerate it !!!!!!
Sadly, I am married to a man described here who is a church elder. I had to leave the marriage as he "deemed" me the problem because of my refusal to submit to him and my disobedience to God no matter what kind of issue I brought forward. I was mostly in a defense stance with him. The only solution "deemed" by him was to submit to him. He attends an unhealthy church, which is evident in the fruit where he felt within his rights to then demean, rage, and dehumanize me. The only real solution was to then exit the marriage. There is no relationship in this type of subjugated existence. I love the Lord with all of my heart, mind, and soul and am leaning into Him to define and to heal me. Thank you for the content in which to help do so.
Prayers to help and do not give up.
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
My cousin, who is at least a malignant narcissist and probably a sociopath, has been an Elder in his huge nondenominational church. Revolting.
I was married to a narcissist
I started to go to counseling to address my issues and to put in boundaries
My husband didn’t like it so he left.
I’ve now been divorced over 20 years. I divorced him as he stated he didn’t need counseling as he has no issues
The marriage was also abusive in every way
Praise God I’m now free from an abusive and narcissistic husband
God is still doing healing in me and is my refuge
I believed that my husband was a Christian before I married him but he certainly didn’t act like one
I have handed my ex husband over to God
I’m now 63 years old
That’s so important. Is it safe for her to confront him? Emotionally safe and physically safe.
Immensely grateful for the work you are doing! This was spot on - described my 36 years of marriage! We have had marriage counseling, individual counseling, separation . . . Beyond my breaking point. Your work and ministry is so very necessary now; to know that there are so many others who are suffering in same/similar abusive relationships makes me believe this truly is demonic, a TRUE spiritual matter. I pray for my husband and those who have these tendencies that their hearts/minds/consciences would be illuminated, brought to repentance and conversion of hearts. My prayers for The Marriage Recovery Center team as well. Keep us the GOOD work in spreading the Light and the Truth! God bless you! My heartfelt appreciation to you all!
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement! God Bless.
This is a great comment.
Yes! Self protective, always in self preservation mode in protecting his own security, his own image, etc, etc..
Always hiding from himself and any truth they are faced with.
"This is something of the heart" -- yeah! That's why I wasn't happy when a psychiatrist suggested my husband should take some medicine. This is not something chemical working wrong. It's all about a very hard and heavy heart -- deeply wounded but still infected by that wound so it's become poisonous. Christ can reach where no chemical medicine can but still God cannot force anyone to change. It's really such a mystery ! God have mercy on us !
Yes, exactly because true love does not demand its way through coercion or force, but God still has his ways of turning people's hearts to repentance and awakening. Our philosophy also is that change cannot be forced, but we do have effective methods of opening people's eyes to destructive patterns and help them walk a new path if they want to.
Prayers to help and do not give up.
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
Thank you for your insight., I’m at my wits end with crazy making behavior, nothing seems to work. Marriage to a narcissist is beyond stress. I pray for him every day, for God to touch his heart.
Yes 2 Timothy 3 is the epitome of the description of a narcissist. Verse 5 tells us, have nothing to do with them. I was married to an overt narcissist for 9 years, and got divorced and now have been married to a covert narcissist for 25. Only my faith in God has gotten me through, and I almost gave up.
God has orchestrated a series of events and divine measures that have brought people and understanding and help to me. Hearing these Mad In Love Podcasts has validated me and given me strength to carry on.
I would also like to add this scripture in relation to narcissism: Very definitive of what we see today.
2 Timothy 3:1-9
I never looked at this scripture before in the light of a Narcissist.... they really do not qualify at all to be a leader in churches, communty service, nor in homes!
My ex would always tell me that I wasn't submitting, and God commanded me to submit. I always worried later on in life if I was submitting correctly. Now that I am out of the relationship, (17-year marriage) I know that God is a loving God. He does desire submission, but it desires it from both parties to each other.
Anybody in this abuse, get out🙏😭❤️start healing learn to put yourself first, and retire your mind, what God says about you, focus will come talk to people, let it out🙏❤️😭💔The ongoing cruelty is traumatizing, one person can give it all, due to my health all responsibilities on me, having someone just kill steal and destroy, he stayed out all night one too many times, told him stay there, haven’t seen him, left me with piles of dumping stuff, robbed me and playing victim. I was dealing with a narc/sociopath extreme cruelty selfishness still healing from trauma it’s been 8 months.
I tried the Biblical way giving good for evil, praying, everything I was holding in started coming out in the form of panic, I had no idea what a narc Sociopath is.
Thanks for your comment
More attention needs to be given to men who are married to wives who abuse them. At the 15:40 mark the gentleman says he asks the man if he is "dying for your wife". In the case of an abusive wife and a husband who has been trying for years to keep things together, the answer is emphatically Yes! It could be that this problem is much more widespread than people think.
Agreed, we need to talk about this more. Thanks for your feedback. We'll be highlighting this topic in future videos and podcasts.
@@drdavidbhawkins Thank you. I look forward to them.
Having been in relationships with several narcissists in my life, and having a father who was narcissistic, I thought really only men were narcissists. I started attending AA meetings a year and a half ago and hearing many men's stories, I'm learning what female narcissists look like, it's real!
Proverbs 13:20
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm
You can also add the personality traits found In 2Timothy 3:1-5.
Thank you so much for putting this video out. After many years of trying to figure out our marriage dynamics, I came across the notion of narcissism, and all the sudden everything made sense. I really appreciate how your group considers the whole spectrum and recognizes each of us as spiritual beings. Most information out there will see the narcissist as a hopeless case, but you recognize God's unfailing love and our own free will, giving us hope. God bless and protect you.
Thank you for your feedback and glad you found it helpful. Subscribe to our channel for more related content, or sign up for our newsletters for helpful articles and videos from our therapists sent to your inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
Sometimes you have to walk away. 😢
My husband was abusive in every way. He was physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. He not only took anything that brought me any kind of joy but he tried on numerous occasions to take my life and/or make me critically ill. He was unfaithful and admitted it to me but refuses to admit it to anyone else. I believe this is his way of punish me for holding him accountable for his behavior.
I have been married for 28 years. I have learned in the last few months that he has narcissistic traits. I am currently not living with him. This is the 4th time in 6 years that I have moved out. When I move out, he is the perfect husband and tells me he wants our marriage to work as the Bible says. This is the cycle we always have done. Every time I go back it becomes the same cycle. I am so torn between what God wants me to do. My flesh says to never go back.
God doesn't want you to suffer. He will never change.You deserve peace. Love yourself.
I have the same situation. I am in peace now. I am sorry but he will never change. I should have left years ago.
What struck me is that Jesus said "Love your neighbor as yourself", not instead of yourself.
Great feedback, thanks for sharing!
So now you know why they don't love anyone.
Thank you for this video! I think that it would be great to see you do the same video but address the problem of the narcissistic wife and how the husband responds to her abuse and neglect in a biblical way. This situation is rarely addressed. Thank you and God bless!
A man shall leave his mother and father and cling to his wife. How do you deal with the influence of his narcissisticic parents?
I hope you all do a seminar for leaders on this. This understanding should be from the top down to any before they becomes pastors. This is soo good and what I needed to hear.
Yes, we are working on an outreach campaign to church leaders, thank you.
This is the best Christmas gift ever! Thank you 🙏
My husband never considers me, let alone put me first. He made me irrelevant since the day we got married. Even on our wedding day, he chose what his grown daughter wanted over what asked him for, which was to let our wedding day be about my wish, and not about his grown daughter's wish. And he wonders why there was ZERO connection and intimacy or physically connection even on the day we got married.
I don’t agree with Sharmen when she says a prayer God will not answer is “God change him”. God “changing him” is where is deep change will start. I think she’s saying the man will still need to do the hard work to change after God wakes him up. I love this team of counselors
And there is so much more to be said for the passive aggressive narcissist.
Yes, we have a video on the Passive Agressive Narcissist. You can search for it on our channel.
This is sooooo good. The truth will always win ❤
This was an amazing discussion. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it! For more related content, subscribe to our channel or sign up for our newsletters for more helpful articles and videos from our therapists: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
I'm currently in a 17-year relationship in which I'm still madly in love with him but we are physically not together he lives completely separate from me and it has come to the point where I have to depend on him 100% I feel like I've lost my way and my mind is one big foggy mess I don't even know who I am anymore
Thanks for sharing. Losing your sense of self, your voice and feeling lost is one of the signs of narcissistic victim syndrome. Here is a video you may find helpful on starting to heal: czcams.com/video/I5N5t_mQiTA/video.html
Prayers to help and do not give up.
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
Thank you for being so clear on this subject. I’m so grateful for this new information!
You’re welcome and so glad you found it helpful!
Great video! Thanks soooooo much. This was right on time!
Glad it was helpful!
Carefully chosen words. You’re awesome!
I love this conversation.
Learningabout covert narcissism explains the otherwise unexplainable. More people should know about this condition.
Yes we agree! That's why we call it the silent epidemic and are doing our part to bring it to light and offer help. Thanks for your feedback.
I know many men who may not be narcissistic but they think women are beneath them.
It would be next year before I could possibly afford your intensives, and surely you deserve to be paid for your work and expertise. I pray for God's timing on that. But oh how I would love a conversation with Sharmen! She really gets it!!
Thank you
Please don’t let him hurt me Lord
Prayers to help and do not give up. Pray lord send angels to free me from all lies of the enemy in Jesus name. Pray lord send angels to free me from all witchcraft,confusion and brain fog in Jesus name. Pray lord baptize me with your fire in Jesus name. Pray lord send 100 angels to attack all demons operating against me for 30 days in Jesus name.
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
Kim said 'hiding'. Just like Adam in the garden hiding from God! I view quite a few proverbs differently now. The contentious woman mentioned a few times in proverbs may be contending for truth and a healthy relationship when her husband is being a Nabal (fool).
There is so little teaching on the subject of (especially) when a woman is married to someone choosing narcissistic behaviours. And yes, further submission and quietness does NOT work. Confronting the beast forces it out of its sheep's clothing.
Thanks for your feedback, hope you found it helpful
My husband doesn't want to hear anything about what the bible says about the responsibility of a husband and how he is supposed to treat his wife. A few days ago, he told me that I was a good woman for the first time in 8 years. I was caught off-guard because he makes me feel worthless to him.
Healing begins with breaking free from the lies and finding your own truth. You are worthy.
I feel you hun
Focusing on my healing as a codependent made it intolerable for my ex wife to be around me. When I stopped responding to her narc tricks she short circuited and needed to get out. While this channel mentions that a narc may be fixable, I’m not sure if continuing to not be the person who you were meant to be is worth the low chance and years it would take for that to maybe work. I would find an attorney with a good review on Google and at least try to get an initial consult. You deserve to be you and not serve someone else’s sickness.
Thanks for your feedback. While divorce is not the only option, we understand it is the best option for some, and definitely agree that you deserve to be you. God Bless.
Prayers to help and do not give up.
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
Narcissist’s have codependency issues too. They have codependency on supply.
What is it in the short story Cat in the Rain ?:An american couple spend holy day in an Italian hotel ,a rainy day ,she look out at the park she see ,war monuments ,empty park .a cat try to get cover under a table .she want to protect the cat from the shower .husband read a book in the bed silen ly .she goes down to park but when she go to park ,the cat has gone away .
Then,coming to her room demand different things from husband ..." My own silvers my own ..etc "
Husband try to make her silence," shut up "
What is this condition ?
English literature question ?
I wish you guys would help us males in how to deal with a female Narcissist. We are 2 entirely different "beasts" whom think and act differently. I'm a Male RN and my wife has "issues" from her childhood. She recently was diagnosed with being Bi-polar. I know, from my limited training, that a lot of people that have one mental health issue has more than one. It has been a "WAR" just to get her diagnosed with Bipolar and to try and get her on the road to the best outcome for her, me and our children. How do I approach and ask for them to continue further diagnoses when I'm not their patient? Please help- my children deserve better, as do I. However, I'm a grown man and can handle issues better than our young adult children- maybe! It's been very hard for me and I find that I've had to change in ways that I'm not happy about, just to survive. HELP PLEASE!!!
We agree and empathize with your story. It is hard to find resources specifically for men dealing with a narcissistic partner. While we often fall back on the male pronoun, it is not because we believe it's an exclusively male problem. Please book a free call using the link below in the video description to discuss your needs with our Client Care Specialists, or reach out at (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com. Our experts can help.
Often the bi polar diagnose is given to someone who actually is a narcissist. You are often unable to see the situation you are in until you get out. And you continue to project your values onto her , as she likely projects her values onto you ( accusing you of doing things you aren’t , things she is actually doing or would be doing ) Read “ healing from hidden abuse “. Best of luck , I have been through it.
Learn about borderline personality disorder abuse as well a narcissistic abuse, as they overlap a lot. You don't need specific resources for men about women, just look for any information about narcissistic abuse and it applies to women as well. However, women tend to be more covert narcissists who use relational aggression (malicious gossip, triangulation, getting someone else to do the dirty work, and backstabbing are examples) as well as all the typical overt narcissistic behaviors. Generally speaking, the goal should be to go "no contact" with any narcissist. The label doesn't matter, abuse is still abuse.
Bipolar disorder is a treatable mental health issue, not a character disorder like narcissism or borderline.
Wow I was not emotionally healthy when I married my covert narc I wish I had
I never felt safe
It's frustrating to hear you say a man narcissist and a woman is giving when my wife is the complete opposite. I have a severe allergy and she constantly pushes what I'm allergic to into my body and makes me sick and calls me crazy and a loser for not doing enough when I'm laid up in pain and suffering because of her intentional exposure. It's not remotely always the way you say. Women can be straight up evil narcissistic too.
Many breeds of animals, plants insects , there is also many breeds of humans .
Philosophy...colossians 2 : 8. Thanks. Amen.
Too few counselors even factor this into the issues.
Can you also talk about phone privacy in marriage? Thank you.
Prayers to help and do not give up. Pray lord send angels to free me from all lies of the enemy in Jesus name. Pray lord send angels to free me from all witchcraft,confusion and brain fog in Jesus name. Pray lord baptize me with your fire in Jesus name. I know they want to control every part of your life,sleep abuse,food abuse and secretly record you sadly
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
I don't hear balance in this context but for the sake of an abnormal person being involved I'll pass no judgment.
Peace and blessings! What happens when during marriage and motherhood, and seeing more evil come out in the media towards children- if a spouse feels defiled partaking on activities once did before and it doesn’t defile the other spouse - the one that doesn’t feel defiled feels like it should be grounds for divorce. How can someone minister to this specific issue?
👍👍👍❤️🥰🙏 Finally the truth
Is there a book that talks about giving being a way to hide from the world? I really need to study into this if possible.
Martha, the sister to Mary and Lazarus was a narcissist. No matter what was going on, her needs were over and about everything else! She even had the gawl to educate Jesus on Lazarus' condition, like He didn't already know that!
Who is the interviewer and the interviewee? Couldn’t tell. Never was able to hear the Doctors perspective. Alot of questions being asked and answered by the same person. I think I may do this in my marriage because I’d years of keeping quiet and as he says suck it up.
There are MANY female narcissists !
There are MANY male codependents !
Beware of abusers “playing” victim.
High quality Therapists /Counselors
NEED God’s wisdom & gift of Discernment.
Absolutely, thanks for sharing
Its so hard to find them! So many ignore signs and then blame the abused person for not “healing”. Just went through that and I told them exactly what ministries and programs and counseling I did to heal and the tools I was using but they only work really well with another healthy spouse.
My hubby gave me the silent treatment at mentoring, or denied and eluded to me being crazy (I know what I heard and saw-some friends were there a couple times) or would blame me.
I would clam up and shut down and not bring up any more issues for weeks. No one seemed to pick up at that church what is going on.
I cant afford help and I dont know if I am actually perceiving things wrong as hubby says or my friends are right?!
I also dont want to leave cuz my four kids would have to deal with hubby alone without me. He moves from neglect, anger outbursts and then some love bombing on us all just enough to keep us around.
I also know its hard to justify divorce for this kind of situation.
Over a decade of this and I am holding on cuz of Jesus. I want things to change…I am
Working on healing in the midst of this relationship with hubby until I feel God releases me
Narcissists cannot change. They cannot. Reading some of these comments makes me think that these women will just stay because they think they can pray narcissism away....God also gave you choice and brains....you are stuck in a trauma bond...you need to leave...its very very difficult..but when you accept he cannot change...you will find the strength. Not gonna lie..it is HARD
Thanks for your feedback! There is abundant scientific research that shows that our brains can be rewired. Now the caveat of course is that there has to be at least a modicum of desire to change, or at least to save the relationship, and we understand most narcissists do not want to change, but many at least want to stay in the relationship. That said, narcissism exists on a spectrum, so there are many people who don't have NPD but exhibit many of the traits. And they certainly do not change on their own, it takes a commitment to getting treatment from a professional who has experience and training in this particular area.
Prayers to help and do not give up.
czcams.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSOKe3VpFzWkFHZSLwrgb4RM.html
REPROBATE is one who REFUSES
Truth. GOD does close the door on some people. UN-Redeemable.
Narcissists mostly won't change because they never put blame on themselves.
The narc I was involved with got very angry about change and told me: I will never change.
He is a christian, which made me even more confused. Because being a true christian you would not treat anyone like you are the devil himself in my opinion. 🤷🏼♀️
@@sea.imagineeringi feel you there! He can call out my issues but dont ask for him to address how he even hurt me or did something I didnt like.
I think I could use your help. How can I contact you?
info@marriagerecoverycenter.com or (206) 219-0145
My x chose his son over our Marriage
Same
Can they change then considering that anything is possible through Christ? And can this character really be anything other than pure evil? I ask these questions as all the information out there seems to suggest that this kind of person can not ever change and that they are doomed. So how does this line up with Christiannity as a whole?
According to the bible, everything and everyone is capable of redemption. According to science, the brain is capable of being rewired. The secret lies in the willingness of the heart
Spiritual Abuse
What the Bible says..means YES you pull out the BIBLE!!! And stop people pleasing...mam...
Thanks for your comment. If you found this video helpful, subscribe to our channel for more related content, or sign up for our newsletters for helpful articles and videos from our therapists sent to your inbox: marriagerecoverycenter.com/mailing-list/
18:50
Christ told Husbands to love their wives first. Is that not giving selflessly even willing to die for her.
This is a man bashing video a reflection of our culture today.
So are women not Narcissistic? Because this is only about the men. Just asking for a friend.
do never forget narcissism is female and male ...
The teachers of the WORD are given a pass for their promotion of this mess. Submitting and waiting on God when the teachers of the Word teach you to do this is not codependency. Why do you shame the women for following the Bible and the teacher that God has placed us under. The codependency label appears to be overused by Christian counselors and is very unfair to Christian wives.... why do you condemn keeping safe by women when we have been taught Jesus only spoke of one reason for divorce. Shaming is not helpful. Is great that all of you counselors can point fingers at wives living to follow the Word and pray and wait on God as "codependent" now that you have found the greater understanding....
Control Conditioning aka trained like a DOG with punishment and reward CAN look like Codependency when it’s actually
Stockholm syndrome aka
Trauma Bonding.
IMO, Demons are involved in Personality Disorders.
IMO, Saving Souls is more important than saving marriages.
When our Christian counselor suggested I read "Codependent No More" because she said I was codependent. Of course I had it ordered before my husband and I walked out of the office. I read it the next day when Amazon driver dropped it off. I, too, was irritated that I was labeled as codependent, because that is SO NOT WHO I AM. Reading the book reminded me of that. The thing is, I was presenting to the counselor as codependent because I had been slowly trained to be that way over 20 years. I stopped being irritated about the label once I learned that targets of abuse frequently get conditioned to be codependent, and that our counselor only knew what she saw in front of her. She didn't mean any disrespect by it. It's simply the reality of the other side of the narcissist coin, so to speak. Now that I'm coming out of the codependent fog, I'm able to see that THE FIRST step of change is mine. I HAD to stop acting like a codependent before I could start resurrecting my boundaries. That has happen before you can enforce your boundaries. And that's literally ALL you can do. If that means your marriage ends, then it ends. And it won't be your fault (and it won't be mine even if I initiate a separation and divorce. My boundaries are God's boundaries. I won't be the one violating God's boundaries. I can grieve the life I thought I had/would have. But I won't be destroyed by it (which is what a true codependent would be).
I guess I'm suggesting that you look at the word "codependent" in a different way. It isn't an insult. And it isn't the problem in an abusive marriage. It's a condition that is required for an abusive marriage to continue.
No where in the bible it says you need to be married to a fool and betrayer.
Religious Narcissists claim this. 🤣
But marriage is God's will ...
You are leaving out narcissistic women who are married to men for financial reasons and control and not for love. Funny how it is something blamed on men.
You guys are wrong in this. A narcissist wife uses her availability in the marriage bed as a tool to manipulate getting her way, and she refains from this part of the marriage relationship saying she does not need to submit to her husband until he loves her by giving her what she wants, and therefore she does not have to be intimate with him until he loves her the way she defines it to be. What you are teaching in this video enables the narcissist wife. Instead of speaking about what the Bible says about narcissists, you framed men as narcissists and wives as victims.
Thank you for this! I shared it on several social media apps, and in several groups on Facebook. I'm always looking for "clever" ("competent, Webster, 1914) resources, and this is one for which I have high regard. May the Lord bless you for making this available.
Thanks for your feedback and glad you found it helpful