Are You A Narcissist ?| Take the QUIZ | Dr. David Hawkins
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- čas přidán 13. 06. 2023
- Episode 20: Mad.In.Love Podcast
Today Dr. Hawkins is joined by his colleague Dr. John Hudson who helped co-create the NEAI (Narcissism and Emotional Abuse Inventory), an important tool they use in their practice at the Marriage Recovery Center to determine whether a person has narcissistic traits, and how extensive and pervasive those traits are. They created the NEAI because they found there are few to no assessment tools available that can quantify the level of narcissistic and emotionally abusive traits a person has. For our clinicians here at the Marriage Recovery Center, it is useful for highlighting the problematic thinking and behavior patterns that are at the root cause of so many relationship issues. If you are interested in finding out if you, or someone you know, has narcissistic traits, you can take the NEAI quiz here: www.flexiquiz.com/SC/N/Neai4w...
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
🌐 WEBSITE: marriagerecoverycenter.com/
☎️ PHONE: (206) 219-0145
📧 EMAIL: info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#narcissist #narcissism #npd
My spouse deflects by saying, “it’s all my (his) fault”. I finally started saying, yes, it is all your fault because you won’t take true responsibility for your abusive actions. I used to have empathy and compassion for him, but now I just have disdain for him.. nuff said! 😡
@iggirl8965well said! Unfortunately, very true…
How you control and direct the disdain you have towards your husband will dictate how much time and work will be needed for you to fully recover, heal and rebuild.
Yes. Do you think she needs to divorce him from her life and home? She seems to be suffering twice for his act.
I’m so glad you included the retaliation question. Abusers are concerned with image management. Sometimes a covert narcissist will agree to something to appear cooperative, but the punishment that comes later is worse than getting what we wanted (or needed) to begin with. It’s another form of coercive control.
My husband went out of his way to be difficult during times when I needed to discuss things with him . When we needed to resolve conflict. He gave silent treatment, mocked, yelled, was hateful, withholding, would not look at me, would continually seek reasons to leave the room and take forever to return to the supposed to be conversation, demean, try to bait and switch, blame shift, gaslight, ignore, uncompromising, unemotional, cold, belligerent, lack of ownerships and responsibility for their roles, etc and then punish you for all , in many ways in the days ahead. Total hell……
He doesn't want to solve it, he only wants to be right and in control.
Compromise? Never!🎯
Defer to others? Never!🎯
Force agreement? Yes, every time!🎯
What I should be, do, say? Yes, no allowance for individuality!🎯
Collaboration on solutions? No, never!🎯
Gives agreement without retaliation? Never!🎯
EVERYTHING IS SO SO DIFFICULT WITH HIM!🎯
Emotional immaturity? ABSOLUTELY YES!🎯
Receives feedback? Never!🎯
Blame-shifting for all negative outcomes? Yes!🎯
“Change? Why do I need to change, are you perfect?” ALL THE TIME!🎯
Dear Lord, I must remove myself.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Hope this gave you some clarity and conviction to know how to move forward. Please reach out to learn how we can help. info@marriagerecoverycenter.com or (206)219-0145
My mom is a narcissist, and quite possibly a sociopath, she makes everyone around her miserable
I suspect those who take the narcissist quiz are those who don't want to be one. LOL
I am very skeptical. I imagine that if my husband of 35 abusive years would answer this questionnaire about me, I would be the one who is reported as refusing to change. He is the one that uses the word "compromise" all the time. As an example, he offers to have a conversation with me on the conditions that he doesn't feel worse after a conversation and that we solve at least one issue however minor. This comes from a person who did not share a video service subscription password with me because he doesn't trust me, told me I don't have the personality to be an independent contractor, told me I can't handle more children (many years ago), recently told me that I never fail to disappoint. Of course as I get stronger I am less likely to compromise or want to change my behavior. I spent most of my life trying to be enough and always knowing that a new inadequacy would be pointed out. How does your questionnaire differentiate between the description of a narcissistic spouse and the description of a victim who has had it?
I know exactly what you’re saying. In the early stages of my divorce I wouldn’t budge a millimeter on my boundaries, because I needed to stop allowing myself to be manipulated and punished back under his control. My lawyer mentioned to me that I looked like the controlling abusive one. So there is that.
But fast forward nearly two years, and he has a trespassing citation (which he has violated twice), a harassment report, a growing call-in police report, and a violation against a minor at church (that church did nothing. In fact my ex is still allowed to chaperone youth group retreats…overnight…with kids sleeping in his room. …I, of course, attend a different church now). As painful as the process is, it all comes out in the wash. Dysregulated dysfunctional people eventually show their true colors. Just stay safe while waiting for the laundry to air out, please.
Critical feedback is different than constructive feedback
I’ve been through 48 years of emotional abuse with my mom and 14 years of emotional abuse with my ex-husband
I feel for you, my sister is a covert narcissist. Now she is ganging up in me with my step mother who is bent on ruining me to make herself look better and I just ended a relationship with a man who has been single for 30 years ... thank God it never got to the point where we actually got married.
Thank you for sharing this
Can someone do an exit/escape video for trapped housewives?
Did you. Him and a #3 take this test?
Take the test!
What happens if it’s me the victim saying he ‘should’ have empathy towards me and the kids and ‘should be showing compassion’ instead of playing the victim… does that make me a narcissist?? He’s already tried marriage recovery with John and quit 😔 yesterday he ‘let me down easy’ after a 12 year marriage of no accountability/ responsibility for any abuse or infidelity, saying: I don’t want to hurt you anymore, this is what you always wanted anyway. I know in order to be with you I’d have to discuss what I’ve done and I’m tired of living in the past. 😳 he has fully abandoned me and our daughter, after moving us permanently to Mexico…
Can U get the children to be the #3 party. Have them agree to an answer. I think all will be happy it was done that way once complete! Good luck! Can you tell us how it goes,? Thanks!
Good starting point to get things moving.
As a person with abusive patterns and behaviours within relationships, (probably undiagnosed covert narcissist,)I performed this test and couldn’t find a way to cheat it unlike all other narcissism tests. I know what I’m bending and flexing with other tests to self preserve but this one has a way of making it remarkably difficult to interperet another way.
I love that you detail the specifics concerning some of the questions. I hope there will be a part 2 and 3 where you detail the other questions as well.
You can access the entire quiz here: www.flexiquiz.com/SC/N/Neai4website
This was 100% my husband. Yes, I have no doubt. I am married to a narcissist. Thank you so much. I would really like to see the rest of the questions to see what I am up against, but I already have an idea.
You can access the full quiz here: www.flexiquiz.com/SC/N/Neai4website
I just filled out the entire quiz, and was finishing question 42. I get a message on the screen that says there was a problem with sending, please fill out again.🤦🏻♀️
Based on my experience, they will weaponise...they can put a spin on anything.... which makes it even more difficult to resolve issues and move forward.
Thanks SO MUCH FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND TIME 😊!!! SO VERY IMPORTANT. INSIGHT IS SO ESSENTIAL. MUMS rearing their girl children USE A GREAT DEAL OF UNCONSTRUCTIVE ABUSIVE Name calling & critical harsh harmful unreasonable unrealistic demands 😢😢😢 on 7 yr
Olds. Believe everything mum says. Crushing her daughters heart 😢😢😢. No praise 😢.
❤Thankyou to you both
I have read that the victim just wants the abuse to stop and hopefully move to a semi-normal relationship. The perp always wants to punish the victim in some way, and this comes out in their language.
Good morning, watching from Tulsa Oklahoma.
Financial betrayal trauma for a secret hidden for two years, one may not act so calm when betrayed
I was rarely allowed to have my own voice or opinions
Mine will ask me and then does the opposite every time. When we were in mandatory counciling the therapist everytime he asked me a question he answered for me even when the therapist said I asked your wife let her answer. As soon as I would start to speak he would cut me off and answer again for me. When he was asked to let me respond he stood up and walked out, never to go back again. Even though it was court appointed. Were there repercussions for not going. No
Abuse always seeks to silence its victim, to rob them of their identity. Thanks for sharing and hope you are in a better place now.
I want to take the quiz please
In cases of abuse this is abuse! FF sister The only accountability on my part was that I accepted the emotional, financial, intimate and psychological abuse
Deflection is their defense mechanism
Deflection then a redirected attack on me. I gave her just v my eyes and silence. Sip o beer tok. 😉
When our (myX’s 17 yr old Chihuahua was dying of Congestive Heart Failure and I took his dog to the vet to put him to sleep (Euthanasia), my X did not take off an hour to be with his dog, my baby Chihuahua, to be Euthanized 😢
My X was so vengeful that he chose to not take a day off to visit my dad who was in hospice care and dying to travel with me 6 hours across state. He said, wait until tomorrow and my dad passed the next day
He shut me down
Oh yes!😮
Can Autism/ADHD resemble Narcissistic Personality?
Somewhat but considerably different.
I do not think a test would work.....They never take responsibility anyway...They think that they are ok..😲
Take the test and find out yourselves.
We did here. It was involved just right. Go at your own speed. Read clearly and ne honest! Youll be happy U djd it.
How can someone who is inherently deceptive, be realistically assessed?
Let them make that disvivery themselves! The ŕesult will be theres to own!
Does this marriage institute ever see recovery from a narcissist??
Most people who are thought to have NPD are actually somewhere on the spectrum and not the personality disorder. We have had much success with people who are somewhere on this spectrum, rarely do we see people who have the malignant disorder as they will likely not step foot in a counselors office
This also my question?
Its so hopeless 😢😢
Please say to me any hope for Narssis marriage even divorce ????
Took the quiz.. .
RESULT > There is an evil force......
No surprise. Sure, I do want the help
Does she want the help though. Still waiting for her response.. .
Nope
I know I have it.
In divorce for 17 years and my children are now adults. My ex wis beautiful, very attractive and.
She now had sex with over 40 Mand she's losing her mind..
Very far from it
You seriously just trying to sell us a product right now???
In one of my X’s text during separation before he filed for divorce he said, “Boy, you were a fun one to mess with” 🥲