What Is The #1 Cause Of Addiction? | Dr. Gabor Maté
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- čas přidán 26. 12. 2023
- In this short clip with Dr. Gabor Maté he reveals the #1 cause of addiction, how to prevent addiction, the impact of trauma and more.
Check out the full interview I did with Dr. Gabor Maté: • Dr. Gabor Maté On Why ...
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A lack of love. Love is everything. A child with no love will always become an adult with problems. Love is everything.
Yep, that is true.
I was never 'abused', but I grew up in an utterly loveless household with a narcissistic mother and a father that could only be described as an emotionless void. Left home at 19 and went straight in to drinking and drugs.
Same situation in my poor, dysfunctional, intolerable childhood
Does spoiling your child is love, or being harsh, disciplining is love?
I have the most loving parents, with their own flawes ofcourse, but I became an addict anyway, so is my dad. Your explanation doesnt cut it for me.
Agree.
Unresolved grief, dysfunctional environment, childhood abuse, and genetic disposition were the primary factors in my substance abuse. Self medication probably saved me from “checking out” as a child. It began as a survival mechanism in adolescence. And continued because of the lack of life skills that should’ve been taught, and are needed in raising any child. Learned behavior, is practiced behavior. Recovery wasn’t as simple as putting down the drugs and alcohol. It’s learning from scratch a healthy lifestyle, vs complete insanity. And I applaud all those that find their way out of the dysfunction, all the grief, and all the misery.
Hope you are doing ok . The first two words you wrote ...unresolved grief ...are the cause of my trauma as I don't think I've recovered yet from losing my mom in 2013 and my dad in 2023 .
@johngallagher72 I hope you are also. I’m a believer that we never really recover from grief. Losing someone, as I lost my daughter many years ago stays with me. It never hurts any less. It just begins to hurt less often when you process it. Human brains have a built in defense for grief. Otherwise we’d all go crazy. It’s just a matter of tapping into it. Sometimes grief support groups can be helpful. Just hearing others share their pain, and how they come to terms with it can be incredibly effective. Remember you’re going to be ok. My thoughts are with you.
I started drinking alcohol since my teenage. Spent my whole life fighting alcohol addiction. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm really happy for you that your wife decided to help you...I hear about alot of family members or so called friends shutting an addict out of their life, which since most addicts do it to mask emotions to me is the worse thing someone can do to an addict.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
I remember as a child my mom and grandmother told me they were going to abort me but didn't have the money, she already had 4 kids. At that time I didn't know what an abortion was. It didn't get much better. I was an addict most of my life, finally got clean in my early fifties. 8 years ago.
I was adopted by infertile farmers who wanted farm hands. I was sold for labor.
I was lucky enough not to get hooked on any particular substance... none of them work long enough for me to pursue that long. But I do need a little of something or another most of the time. Shear sobriety is hell for me. I'm glad it's working out for you!!!
I feel exactly like you do. I can´t even stand the idea of total sobriety. I`ve cut down on most drugs I did in the past, now at 68yo I take perscription drugs, no much but I can`t do without. I`m content with the way it is now. @@theobserver9131
Im sorry to hear that. No child should have to hear that, specially in the insensitive way you were likely told. All the best to you.
@@theobserver9131sorry to hear that. Which country,and how old are you please?
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
I just watched a video by Jordan Peterson where he elaborated on the idea of trauma and it's effects on the psyche. A very interesting point that was made was that the emotional trauma itself is NOT the most damaging factor. More harmful is the cruelty and malice often received directly following many traumatic events.
If people are cared for properly after something harmful occurs, the recovery can be much quicker and more effective.
Unfortunately many experience bad treatment after emotional harm.
I am glad you got something out of listening to Jordan Peterson. But I can't relate. Peterson is like a self absorbed talking head unto himself. Gabor is a 100 fold healthier and wiser person.
I’ve never considered taking opiates until I watched this.
Why
Same
Interesting
Don't, it's a nightmare.
This is the best explanation of addiction I've ever heard.
If you don't have any love from others and your addiction is the only thing that gives you the feeling of being loved, is it any wonder people are powerless to stop.
They are alone, trying to cope with trauma, or painful non loving, interactions with society.
Now, at the mercy of addiction, they face negative reactions, from the loveless society partly to blame for your addiction (based on a perceived view that addicts are morally defunct criminals).
For me the answer is simple..... Love, love, love...... Always has been
Love is a concept crested by humans, that thing doesn't exist
Fair enough, to me love is like a metaphorical hug and that someone else is going to be there for you unconditionally
@@kkjunior29 When people use the term "love" I interpret it as a mixture of certain feelings towards another person, like compassion, affection, acceptance, selflessness etc.
That is why different people may use or feel the word "love" for different reasons or for different people. Because this said mixture is differently combined for everyone...
people who are VERY loved suffer addiction
Nope. Many addicts grow up in loving environments.
Started vaping after i had covid cause it was one of the few things i still got intense fruit flavors from again had me hooked for 3 years.....i just quit 3 days before halloween last year and ive never looked back
The pain was my family 40 yrs ago. Now the pain is physical and i can't run away or escape from it. I have to accept it. But pain management (soft addiction) i call it, is real. Just as damaging to the mind. I am primed or tuned for escape. My life story. Thanks for this man. 🙏
I’m a recovering alcoholic, 11 years sober. I think like most things there is nature and nurture involved in addictions. Trauma is huge, and I’ve had some big ones, but I also had a loving and protective immediate family growing up. But alcoholism in particular runs in my DNA. My father’s brother and his dad were alcoholics that died prematurely from it. I’ve lost several relatives, ones I knew personally, in my life to substance abuse. From the beginning, my response to alcohol consumption was VERY different from my peers. High tolerance, no hangovers, and I just wouldn’t pass out no matter how much I drank. So there’s both involved. I will say, my loving family was a huge part of why I was able to get sober when alcohol started ruining my life. That support and those values instilled in me by my parents got me through the extreme discomfort of getting sober. That foundation of love was absolutely necessary in me finding the strength to change.
Unresolved childhood trauma
Boredom is the 1st step towards relapse.
-Jay, Clerks 2
Bur boredom is amazing if there’s no relapse
@@Alexssandre I guess, boredom is better with weed ONLY, not powders or pills or anything else.
Weed is harmful as well@@Gef1983
@@jubileej1629 Yes you are 100% right but what isn't? McDonalds is harmful, Energy drinks and sodas with tons of sugar, if you think about it... Fast food gives heart problems and colesterol, sugar is turned into fat and can cause diabetes and so on if you don't burn the sugar by sporting.
Cannabis damages the lungs
Cocaine makes bones fragile
Benzos hits the liver so does alcohol.
I'm not a full on smoker, I smoke maybe 15 - 20 joints per month but purely for medical use for my insomnia instead of Ambien or other sleeping pills and it's a nice feeling if you have a low tollerance.
Havent smoked for 2 weeks because my sleep is good, but when I feel like it's gonna be a sleepless night, I take a jar with indicas like Banana Sundae, or Pink Kush, those kinds of strains and I sleep like a baby.
God bless :D
A negative attitude is the first step towards relapse.
He just listed all my addictions
It's been a treasure to find Gabor Mate.
Truly, I have seen him speak. Really enjoy him.
Gabor is truly a treasure!!!
Loneliness and bordem
I was a major alcoholic and drug addict for 25 years and I personally don’t link it to any type of trauma. I was depressed for sure but never suffered any type of trauma I can link to it.
This guy is a genius. I am addicted to the gym but i think of it as a positive habit for me because it saved my life from being an alcoholic, obese and depressed sad piece of life and I am now a personal trainer in the best shape of my life and no depression plus over a year sober. Totally rewired my brain thanks to Gabor Mate by recognizing the root cause of my addiction and turning those same impulses that were detrimental into productive activities.
How so? How did You use it to get into positive changes? Please help❣️
@@jenifermullin7168 Paraphrasing one of his speeches ‘ Trauma is not what happens to you, trauma is what happens inside you because of what happens to you.’ This helped me develop an attitude of accountability for all the poor decisions I made in the past. Instead of blaming other people or outside circumstances I took responsibility for how I reacted to unfortunate situations. I chose to stuff my face with bad food, I chose to pick up the bottle, I chose to be a lazy ass, no one forced me to do it. This world will throw curve balls, people will act like a gonorrhea to you , they’ll cut you off on the freeway, etc. It sucks and there will be things out of your control but you will have control on how you react to the situations. By doing this you are taking the power back and not giving it away to the person that committed the injustice. Having a victim mentality , and I’m not saying you have one I don’t know you, in my case made me attract more situations where I could declare my victim hood, not very conducive to personal progress and when I became aware of how tacky that attitude was I stopped by adopting a new perspective. I also realized that it was going to take time and to have patience embracing a new outlook. It’s easier to destroy than to build, so I destroyed my old self and started building a new life. Check out videos on neuroplasticity , not only is it possible to rewire your brain, it is essential for the brain to create new neuropathways in order for it to keep working properly, in fact that’s what it’s designed to do. James Clear in Atomic Habits encourages people to improve just 1% everyday. I have yet to see an anthropological manifesto on the value and importance of humor and it helps a lot to have a good sense of humor, specially with yourself. Surround yourself with people that empower you and with music or film that can uplift you, even if it’s death metal and toilet horror cinema , whatever you’re into immerse yourself in things you like no matter how quirky they are , you don’t owe an explanation to anyone, nurture your authenticity . If you’ve been in a rut remember nothing is permanent , you can change. I’m gonna go watch Spaceballs. Good luck
😂decision to replace the bad habit with a good one.
@@utualan so You mentioned...
What about when you can’t go like when you have the flu and feel really sick and need to rest! ? If you go, it’s an addiction. If you over exercise, it’s an addiction
Great video, as always! Dr. Gabor always hits the nail on the head in regards to trauma. This guy should be a household name and his perspective should be more wildly shared.
Instead, we have to hear about Taylor Swifts relationship, the Kardashians and who they are fornicating with, and political figures throwing stones about body odor and acting like they are in 4th grade.
What a world!
Dr GAbor Mate wrote book Myth of Normal - that the society is toxic itself.
@@Jason-gj1pu For some unknown reason I cannot spread the thread and I can't see my own comment.
I dislike You tube censorship, it is like North Korea destroying free speech.
So agree with you!!!
So agree with you!!! Love Gabor Mate!
It's so instinctive when he says it. Peaceful environment around healthy women, Parents attuned to the children, positive emotional health care and physical care in a generational sense sound so beneficial.
Being worn out from trauma causing dopamine receptors to malfunction
My wounds are deep. Not feeling loved, wanted or worthy as a child, continued into my adult years.
This is what I don't understand, as a long term addict I never had trauma in my life, I met an older woman who I ended up living with and she and her friends introduced me to heroin. I got addicted before I even realized I had a habit on it. I used for 40 + years because in my mind I simply enjoyed it. I love the high. I love how much stuff I'd get done on it, my work rate is astronomical on it, I've never been so productive. I also like how it tempered my more angry side, that short tempered aspect of my personality, not suffering fools well, it gave me an empathy that I'd never experienced before. As for trauma I had the best childhood, I had a doting father that spent time doing all different things with me, fishing, hunting, dirt bikes etc etc, all the great stuff boys love. He did spoil me and definitely no trauma
Nothing is ever 100% applicable. There will always be exceptions/ outliers to the “rule”. And obviously there is a genetic component to addiction as well, some people’s brains are just predisposed to it
Just like not every person who suffers trauma will become an addict, not every addict had to suffer trauma to become an addict. Something as simple as trying certain drugs can trigger the addictive tendencies in our brain, much like you described for your situation
You might have and not even thought it was something that effected you. I always blew everything off I became numb to a lot of things before I ever drank or did any drugs
Maybe trauma is simply that something was more than you could correctly process at the time and that was the wound? Just too much too soon with too little tools to process the event? Perhaps a change in the household? Maybe the drugs themselves?
You are no addict when you simply enjoy it.
You definitely had the trauma you just don't understand it from a child view. Something terrible didn't have to happen to you for you to have trauma.
Boredom, culture, poverty, going with the crowd, trauma.
One week into NA listening to Gabor talk about the same thing he's always talked about-- putting recovery into practice. It's good to know about addiction, I'm grateful to know about recovery.
He had me. He knows what hes talkin.
We had all the love no pain all we did was laugh and my brother OD3 times he told me he could not stop well he died the 4th time and he had love family and no problem every thing was great and he died. 59 years old
There's, though, an economy centered on addiction. Processed food, loaded with sugar, making people more and more addicted, is an example
Thank you Dr Gabor ❤
Relief … that is what everyone is seeking. Relief from stress… mental and emotional relief… sometimes physical trauma.
The need for acceptance.
We need to hear this man speak on all world problems 😭😭🙏🙏
My biological mother tried to find an abortion and in 1956-57 she could not find help. She did what she could to prevent a live birth.
I was born and diagnosed with cerebral palsy and placed I. An incubator and given phenobarbital.
I didn’t have cerebral palsy
I was responding to the the trauma my mother had gone through and had caused me also.
Thank you for the work you do.
I’m okay now.
But it took a lot of work.
But because of you I never lost hope.
I am adopted.
@@cyndijoyleeI hope life is good to you now
@@user-randi1987 Thankyou so much. I know who I am finally. I am not what my adoptive parents would tell me I was or who they needed me to be more like instead of me. I just spent several days amongst them. I will never be good enough for them.
But I know now there’s not going to be a change. They ve told me long ago that they just weren’t able to bond with me. So yay.
@@cyndijoylee I think you are the only one you have to be "Good enough" for. You are the only person you have to spend all your life with. Make yourself happy
@@user-randi1987 yes! That is so true. I think I’ve finally realized things will never change. I no longer feel obligated to spend time with them. I realize I can’t spend time with them it physically causes me pain. funny i forgot how I feel around them. Covid kept me away for over three years. I’m not vaccinated so I couldn’t go they wouldn’t let me in their home. Which I understand.
For health reasons I did not get the vaccine.
Thank you Dr. and postmaster.
Thanks God for Dr Gabor Mate ❤
Great Job to you both!! Short clip and riddled with Gems.
An addict is someone who's baseline and the effect of using a substance or behaviour is so in contrast with eachother, the brain grabs unto that feeling like its life depends on it.
Happy people do not become addicts, because the contrast between their base line and effect of using substances or behaviour is much smaller.
Thats why people can get hooked on a drug the first time they use it.
If someone who is extremely unhappy 24/7 uses the best substance out there, the difference between sober and high is so big, the brain cant forget it and wanna repeat that act again and again.
Love this man❤
Love listening to this guy x
Excellent!
💛Gabor is a hero
I think that for most humans, all life is trauma. Pain is everywhere you turn. Who is going to so no to relief? Let's not pretend that life is inherently good. Life is a thing that happened here, and there's a good reason it hasn't happened everywhere. The universe is hostile to life. We are an anomaly, and most of us are suffering.
that's why we need community and God.. life is just as much about meaning as suffering, we all can influence that
You are right on
Thank you for this talk, it helps me a lot, not to see the addiction, but the trauma in people
This is the best explanation of the origin of all addictions. Wow!❤
Thanks for sharring this information and Knowledge!!!
Love to All Beings❣️❣️❣️
Extremely profound Sir
Powerful information. Thank you so much for this video ❤
This is an incredible clip. Thank you. 🙏
Wow that hit so deep 😳
Very good show ❤
FANTASTIC
Yes, yes, and yes… all of it!!!
Thank you for your words. You are helping us to be heard and understand.
I love this guy! This guy is a Jewel
Gabor is a JEWel indeed, haha, great guy
He's a con
Thanks for that insightful comment mister fake. @@mrfake675
Thanks for your comment that our hero is a con, mister fake. @@mrfake675
What I find frustrating is that, by Maté's terms, the only "fit" parents are those who have either had no problems or who have undergone successful psychotherapy to address their psychological and behavioral issues. This means that 99.99999% of all parents, since the beginning of time, have "traumatized" their children. I am a parent, I had parents of my own and I have met many parents whom I would regard as fine and successful people and NONE come close to the standard of emotional and behavioral perfection that Mate demands. By this standard, all of us are "traumatized" just by breathing and being born of parents.
In my experience, most people have experienced some form of trauma in their childhood. It is normalized in our society.
Incredibly interesting, food for thought
I was addicted to sex, most difficult thing I ever had to get victory over. It was literally killing me.
Thank you Gabor Mate. You’re a lifesaver all day long, as you make things that don’t make sense, make sense, so that we can find our way out of these cycles of living hell. ❤
Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤
This is an archaic & antiquated definition
This man's 'definition' seems to resonate with thousands and thousands of real people who do or have struggled with addiction. *Naturally* you are entitled to your opinion. But could you please elaborate? What is the 'correct' definition in your opinion? And ... if you don't mind sharing this (no pressure tho), on what do you base this / what is your frame of reference? 💜
What’s your definition?
Yes, this is perfectly sound reasoning of the factors that may influence addiction but my question is how does someone actually get better from these mental, emotional and physical scars?
No one gets better, you only become stronger. Its not like non-addicts do not have these scars. We all have our scars, its called living. Life is a continues struggle for survival.
I have been 32 years straight and love my life !!!! I deal with my life in a very healthy way !!!! Happy new year beautiful world 🌈🌈 🥰🥰♥️♥️
What?
What?
Huh
Haha strange indeed, but good for you, whatever floats your boat, and happy new year to you as well
Hmm. I can only assess from the construction of your post that prior to your “ … 32 years straight …” you were what? Bent? Bisexual? Gay? Something yet defined? That was an interesting post that really kicks the Freudian in me up a bit. Especially since you posted the LGBTQIA flag along with the kiss and heart emoji. Hmmm. Interesting to say the least. You, my dear human have an interesting way in communicating. I hope you continue to find the happiness you seek.
We’re not talking about sexual preferences
Wow nobody has explained addition to me this way.
Because corrupt medical industry is making money on other people trauma, parasiting on the weakest link of society.
Probably why things dont add up for you 😂
@@mikejayden2496 I have nothing more to add to this comment.
😂😂😂😂 hillarupus@@mikejayden2496
Thanks for this insight. I've been dealing with addiction my whole life and am self aware enough that I avoid the things I know caused me trauma and the substances that will ruin my life if I habituate their use. I didnt start drinking alcohol until I was 35 and at 37 i'm already struggling with over use. Growing up I dealt with a lot of neglect, starting with how I was put in a weekend religious care with kids from government projects, so when kids I made friends with would get abandoned by their parents, or that parent would show up at my hoiuse at 2am crying for money to pay the taxi, I remember asking why, and I always got shushed. I eventually forced my parents to stop taking me to that place after losing many friends that way, and watching guardians abuse orphan kids that were in the daycare. Going into childhood I had a friend who's dad self deleted, and it happened in a way were he invite me and all out friends over the day after it happened and no one told me until we were about to leave and I saw the whole family breaking down, again no one talked about it and i never saw him again because his mom took him back to italy. Then dealing with a girl I knew for 8 years and dated for three in highschool take my virignity on my 18th birthday and break up with me the day after, along with watching all but one of my friends self delete as they slowly become disconnected from success after highschool. The big issue growing up was my father was never around because he is a workaholic, and when there was conflict he would always run upstairs and leave my mom to deal with everything, which she pretty much would tell me I'm worthless, and going to be the first to die if the world ever ran out of food, which as a result made me one of the best gardeners you'll ever meet.
All these trauma haunt me to the point where I haven't made a friend since highschool, just associates in passing, and I gave up successful careers because the addictions I had were more important, and essentially started farming because the act of growing food and challenging myself to build everything from scratch with no support while being a workaholic was enough of a reward to keep me from seeking approval and validation from others as I was self employeed and depended on no body.
I notice now that many times in my life when I get romantic with someone, i always push them away even if they were a perfect fit for me. It's one of my worst habits, self sabotage and recoiling back into a state where I can properly deflect all outward potentials, and remain on my consistent grind without interference. I'm not sure how to deal with the damage, outside of keeping a functional addiction like workaholism and moderate marijuana use, but it would be nice to figure out how to mitigate cravings, particularly because as I age I realize if I don't fix them soon to allow for a health relationship to form with a woman, then I'll essentially be stuck with myself just juggling addictions. Also the familiarity with neglect has gotten me into a few narcissistic relationships where I get slow boiled like a frog into accepting constant mild criticism to a degree where I justify giving more attention to receive better validation from the partner, but it really just feeds their narcissistic supply.
11:06 11:07 12:08
I love Gabor…does he have a black eye??
FInally a Dr. med that knows what he`s talking about. Every single word I can fully agree to, especially the fact that`s so important to care more about pregnant women in difficult life situations in order to protect the child. Never heard anyone else from the field addiction / cause of addiction stating this.
It's a coping
Genius
Hi Dr. Gabor
I have a question.
I do understand what trauma is very well. Physical as psychological.
To what degree do we accept these traumas of all kind?
What I mean is we actually see these traumas as painful and traumatic experiences that cause us pain and suffering instead of opportunities to learn and grow. No pain no gain. How much is self inflicted?
Why do we not say morn for a while and afterwards find ways to use and see the opportunity to grow and strengthen our self with these profound experiences?
Guilt and Shame keep me addicted. I can not forgive myself. I've been years trying to quit.
No matter what you did. I forgive you. You can do it too. Know that you are appreciated. Peace. :)
You are forgiven may God bless you always ❤️🙏
We all do bad things just know that. Tell God and you are forgiven. It is finished.
I know this place you’re in. I also struggle to forgive myself. The only thing I can offer is to say I’m with you.
There is a line with understanding and attention if it is dangerous or manipulative..... I used to be good to everyone out of duty but if someone is not safe, I am not at fault for protecting myself. Sometimes a person wants to just be right and has the default reaction to be miserable and doesn't see the pile of love and attention others had to give
His videos are an awakening..so profound..so much wisdom.
Great video! Addiction has become an overwhelming epidemic in our society as accessibility and acceptability have increased drug usage. Today, in the United States alone, more than 25 million people are afflicted with this disease that changes the brain of the user over time. Trauma can lead to substance abuse and it can be caused by physical or sexual abuse, death, illness, injury and many other circumstances, and can harm someone's physical, mental and social well-being. Thank you for the useful video Doug and Dr. Gabor!❤👍
All of my closest friends have died from overdoses or drug related incidents. In 14 years I found that dharma practice, and meditation and connecting to the present moment is the best single physical practice I have personally come across, in addition to whatever individual other things people need. You don't have to be buddhist or believe in the teachings, or ways of life, but the practices of dharma are massively beneficial to people struggling in my experience. def - an aspect of truth or reality.
"all dharmas are forms of emptiness" seeking that and repairing things inside. unlearning bad things and relearning ways that provide a good way of life. You can find online groups to practice with, and can choose whether or not to rely on that group for emotional support, or to just visit to learn about meditation and how to practice it.
So sorry for your losses. ❣️
It's everywhere, hard to find a single family that does not have someone they love affected. It's just everyone's loss all the time imo but ty@@cyndijoylee
I believe humans are hardwired to be a bit obsessive and that it goes back to our days as hunter gatherers. We needed to be obsessive about finding nourishment and a mate. We wouldn't have survived without that base instinct.
For Me The Anxiety Is NDE
Trauma But Also The Response
Of Authority, Family, & Nobody
Cares Humanity Is So Isolated
Okay, thank you for telling me what not to do to cause trauma for my children. Now, what are we supposed *to do*?
Love !!!!
It’s easy to say love and be there for them.
Thank you for this interview. Can you please provide the name of the research study Dr. Mate' referenced from Harvard? Thank you in advance!
Addiction is a good trait... thsts why you like food... or why you hyperfocus on your studies. The trick is mastering your addictive behavior by practicing self control.
It's not a "trait" that you "master". It's a weakness that you overcome. Did you watch any of the video? Lol
Dr Maté, before I listen and watch your videocast, I believe I have a way to help many people not only get off their addiction, but also out of trouble. What is my method? Mindset. Dr Maté, I believe what is going on out there is that people are hooked into a mindset that has them able to get off the track of the purpose of their life. What is the way to change one's mindset. You may laugh at this, but I believe one most go for his or her greatest challenge in life.
Brooo, this video popped up in my feed and saw that it didn't have that many views but it started autoplaying anyway and everything he said were making so much sense for someone like me. Yes, certainly can't put everything functioning different than the rest in our brains up to our parents but this was just 'on point' so much so that I had to download this clip. Not downloading it to remind myself that I'm a victim but more so to get this knowledge in my system so that I may learn and grow from it
Honest question; does it have to have negative consequences to be an addiction?? What if you crave something pleasurable and have a hard time giving it up but it’s not creating anything negative in your life??
Your brilliant. Puzzles me though, Some people go through trama, severe. But they have no addictions. They might , be co dependent or use other different coping mechanisms in the brain?
I had massive addiction to sex, pills ….i did this for years but I didn’t understand I was self medicating
I thought I just liked it
Usually guilt Is the main trigger.
But its a choise to keep on with the addiction or healing from it
it becomes like a dysfunctional relationship, it is hard to know that normal is better
#1 cause of addiction is being alive.
My 33 yr. Old Son , came to me at age 30, he had a family now and broke down in tears and had to tell me that my ex wife, his Mother sexually abused him since the age of 4 until he was 14 years old. Things he said during his telling of his traumatic experience match with things that I had noticed and spoke to her about. The police did not do a thing. ( she is a Federal Govt. Employe ) it has damaged and ruined his childhood and adult life. He now has 4 children and will not allow his Mother anywhere near his children. She of course said he was delusional. In my opinion we all experience traumatic events, some more than others, but all can be traumatic.
is distress or discomfort necessarily traumatic though? Boredom is a sort of discomfort, is it trauma? Unrest from impatience? I think this maybe identifying initial conditions, but overstating their severity. Especially when the negative consequences of the addiction are delayed substantially, the cause doesn't really need to be traumatic. It can just be a mild lack of positive stimulation.
Write a book about redheads, I thought I was nuts till I ran into a older redhead man we talked about being tortured every day in school simply because we had red hair of course this was 40 years ago but he told me he had PTSD
Lack of justice is what sparks it. They told you you weren't worth justice so why care about anything... People who receive real justice are much more likely to recover.
The drug war propaganda for decades making drugs cause addiction to popular belief has destroyed so much we could’ve done to help society curve addiction to all things
YES! Ricard Lawhern argues using data about how much of that is falsified, and or without any merit.
Anxiety and or Dependence
I am a recovering addict who has been sober for 11 years. It always seemed to me that we look for excuses to justify the fact that we simply want to experience pleasure in many forms. What’s wrong with,” I just want to get high or buzzed” Why does trauma even have to enter the equation. When I sat in a bar drinking and playing pool, the last thing in my mind was my feeling rejected by my over bearing dad, etc…
Cant relate as i always been quite straightforward for example when someone says they drink because it tastes good i told them i drink to get smashed.
Lol. Having trauma doesn't mean you're always thinking about the thing that traumatized you. Trauma affects your behavior on a deep, unconscious level. You're in denial. I was too for a long time. I said "I never think about my childhood. It's not affecting me, I just wanna feel good!"
Then you should really sit and reflect on yourself. I used to think the same thing until I truly stopped and looked at how our experiences shape us as people wether we are conscious of it or not. Our very behavior can be shaped by past experiences and knowing this can really help someone develop as a person. Not saying everyone has some deep rooted trauma but it can help even with the little things.
@jlb9210 You are exactly correct, the trauma is not always something you constantly think about, it can be embedded and actually become PART OF you, like a parasite. As regards the OP, I respect his opinion but for me and many, MANY others with PTSD, we are certainly not looking to feel good; rather, it is a need to deaden down negative memories or thoughts, take the edge off, get through another day.
look deep.
I have a lot of anxiety in my life. I always had. My personal finances at age of retirement are in shambles due to me always having helped others. So there is a lot of stress there. Yet I have no addictions. I do not and never have smoked , used alcohol , gambled , been addicted to deviant behavior , money , cars , possessions , people or anything else. So yes I have trauma in the form of huge stress and anxiety. But no addictions. So that put paid to this theory.
He never said that if you have trauma then you are guaranteed to be addicted. He said addiction comes from trauma. Not the same thing at all.
@@jlb9210 It is just a lame excuse for the weakness of addiction. All addicts are weak minded. You should be able to digest trauma internally with your own will power. I was abandoned by my parents before age 2. At age 5 I was run over by a car driven by a drunk man on the sidewalk. I was left for dead. They wanted to amputate my leg. It was saved but 2 inches shorter than the other one. And that was just the beginning of my life. I started working every weekend of my life at age 7 (yes seven) to save for my education. Enough reason there to shout "I cannot help myself I was traumatized". But I never did.
@@earthling9614 I do not cast judgement. I have known and still know many people with addictions. They always need propping up by society. And they always have an excuse for their behavior. I never needed propping up. I started working every weekend from age 7 and after school joined the armed forces at age 16 which was compulsory in SA. After that I looked out for myself and never asked anyone for anything. For my perception most people always need something from someone - especially addicted people. But that is only my perception.
Financial stress and trauma are completely different. Lol 😆
@@nikobellik8491 Lots of people commit suicide due to financial stress. Many people are traumatized due to their partners gambling away everything they own. If that is not trauma then I do not know what is.
Life.
I've watched quite a few Dr. Maté lectures over the years and he's so incredibly intelligent and insightful, with conclusuons based on his many personal encounters with substance users, not just books.
However, Im having trouble getting fully on board with trauma being the root on "every" case. I would def say most cases but, even he talks about the chemical imbalance and also the genetic component. Are those somehow consided trauma? Possibly. What would be the link then? I'd argue they are seperate and technically not truma based, although they do go hand in hand a lot of times. I def could be wrong, and he is much smarter than I on the topic, but I ask because my reason for starting substances was boredom and lonliness that stemmed from the isolation of covid, and now that it's become a pattern of behavior, I'm having trouble replacing it with something else more positive. My DOC isn't currently opiates though which I feel is much more trauma based, as I was an opiate user for many years. So, I do agree for the most part, but is it fair to say that trauma isn't the root of EVERY case, just most cases?
I do truly respect the hell outta Dr. Maté and this was a great conversation!
Im addicted to lifting weights. Im huge because of my addiction. I can bench press 1200 pounds.
Your trauma would probably be rooted in body dismorphia according to him.