The Best Explanation of Addiction I’ve Ever Heard - Dr. Gabor Maté
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
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When I was in active addiction I went to jail for a short while, and the one common denominator was that we were all abuse survivors. We all had severe trauma. It’s really sad. I just celebrated 8 years clean. We can recover with support.
Congrats!!
GOD BLESS YOU for your 8 yrs clean👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 keep it moving & stay strong💪
Your story is so true, I honestly hope you are still doing well.
Congratulations on your clean time, ‘’ one day at a time’’ 👍
@Mamma Deuces...congrats hun...keep on that path of sobriety
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porass.
I'm a veteran, was actually addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the
same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the
morning after. So no hangovers. No
depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now
have a more calm mind
How do i reach out to him? Is he on Instagram
My brother is currently struggling with addiction. We went through some rough times as kids. He always protected me… And seeing him in that state today makes me really sad. He took the hit for me back then. That’s why I’m not leaving his side now, I will walk this road with him by giving him as much love and support as he needs.
I like this man. Sometimes that's all that people need when they are going through addiction, is for someone to be there by their side & to not judge them & to understand them !
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
That's extremely important for you to be there for him. Learn about addiction. God bless you both.
I'm sure he appreciates you not giving up on him, even if he hasn't expressed it verbally. I teared up when I read your comment, my brother hasn't given up on me through my addiction and that means more than the world to me. I wish the best for you and your brother, thank you.
Love you for this 💪🏿
"the more hurt they are, the more they need to escape"
@Fiji Water wdym
Repent seek forgiveness and refuse the demonic drugs of today...we trying we doing
March 24 2021 I celebrated 14 years and I Said I wanted to take myself and the kids to the beach for the weekend well a friend I was taking to help me with my son who is disabled ,the first thing he says is yeah I’ll go with you maybe we can sit by the beach and drink wine coolers I said I don’t need to go to one of my favorite places and spoil it by drinking after14years and I stood firm on that well that evening for some reason I thought about wine coolers hmmmm, and just as quick I reminded myself that one of anything that could have an effect on me will lead me back to where I left off 14 years ago and quickly I played the whole tape that one is never enough for this recovering addict and I’m always reminded by my other sober/recovering friends and sponsor and sponsees that if I don’t pick it up, I won’t get high my email is whiteshawhite@gmail.com if you ever thought that you could stay clean alone that is another trick your mind plays on you, be safe and stay away from the first one, Shonda
i think even the Bad guys or beyond bad guys understand this and use this meth-od too.
I'm sorry, but I had a horrific childhood that actually suppressed my innate potential to the point of lifelong emotional disability, even becoming homeless due to an impaired functioning ability. And through all of this I never had any drug or alcohol problems. Trauma leads to addiction only if the individual allows it to do so. I am now on the verge of homeownership.
This is why the Portuguese approach towards drug addicts is so good. Seeing drug addicts as someone who need help, not seeing them as criminals.
Is that where they did the studies where they went around and stopped punishing people and forcing then into rigid recovery programs and instead gave them opportunities to be part of society through job training and h lo using assistance and stuff like that and like 90 percent of them ended up overcoming there addiction without being treated like a broken person but instead being treated like a valuable person?
czcams.com/video/Hl7H0PpLJu0/video.html
@Sérgio Nogueira Thats the smart thing to do. Here in Canada we are moving in the same direction.
What does that look like though?
czcams.com/video/03vvnhpV1q0/video.html
Clean for 4 days from opiates. Longest I’ve managed in 2 years of my habit. It made me forget all my trauma until it wasn’t enough. Really excited to feel genuine happiness in sobriety, I just hope it’s one day soon. I needed to hear this video today. ❤️
Look up,song by Haystak called my first day. I don’t like rap but that song is what you need to hear trust me
Cool ☺ i hope you're still on that clean road
So glad to hear it . I have come to accept that I am a work in progress and try and learn from my trials and tribulations . Be patient with yourself
Stay strong, you are unique to this earth, one of a kind, and deserving of love and great things.
I am just now seeing this post. How is it going?
1:08 hit me hard. Addiction is a response of human suffering and that broke me. I am a recovering alcoholic and it is hard staying sober. I have dealt with so much in my life and alcohol was always there for me. Never judged me and never left me. That line will forever tug at my heart strings because I felt every word like a sharp knife. I have gotten better control of my drinking. I slip up from time to time and I am trying. I have been getting better and stronger. I have been staying sober for longer periods of time and I will someday get rid of this demon. If anyone is reading this, please keep fighting the good fight. Screw everyone for judging you, even for relapsing. I'll be rooting for whoever is trying to get sober because I am in this fight as well and I will die trying to be sober.
I hope you are in AA -- it is not about fighting the good fight It is about finding the relief of surrender & the strength in numbers. Wishing you all the best for 2022 - you will put this all behind you and onward ho!
Allan Watts, look it up
I’ve got 2.5 years clean and I was struggling today. I really appreciate your comment here.
@@Dapryor You are everything you need already my friend. You're okay.
Try a carnivore diet
Medical student here. We've had multiple lectures on trauma, adverse childhood events, and spiritual aspects of healthcare. Things are changing.
That’s really heartening to hear, thank you! You got this!
Don’t lose your compassion
I don’t think doctors have the time to sit and listen, not there fault,more money is needed
@@lesleyhubble2976 you know, it really depends on the doctor and the environment. I have had amazing and terrible experiences with Medicaid and "nice" insurance alike. I wish you luck and hope I can be the kind of clinician you are longing for in a few years.
That's so great to hear. 💞
Clean for 18 months...this hit me hard...for a moment I didn't feel like an entirely hopeless human being
You have been clean for 18 months. Be proud my friend 👍
Every day you don’t use is a miracle from God! He has a plan and purpose for you. Your story can help others out of a deep pit. Keep up the good work one day or one hour at a time! You’re special and loved!!
Thank you
I'm so very proud of you. Keep going one day at a time. You deserve every blessing you find.
21 months now, friend? Keep that shit up.
Yesterday I celebrated 8 years clean and sober. I have a great life. Not always easy though! Well done to everyone who made it and to those who haven't there is help if you seek it.
Today I celebrate approximately two years of controlling my lifestyle. People may hate on me for saying that because "control" is deemed impossible for most but I think it's a pretty f*cking big deal.
@@jared699 well done mate
Richard stein, how did you do it? please give advice
As an addict in recovery, this is simply beautiful.
17 years in recovery. I've found that I've spent the entirety of my recovery unlearning everything I learned about myself as a child. I totally relate to your assessment of addiction.
Excellent to read Claus!
You have a strong mind
My experience also Claus.
Right on Brother...
Did your addiction come from emotional trauma ?
"The opposite of addiction is connection." Johann Hari
connection to what?
@@unwaveringwilli5391 "to meaningful work, other people, meaningful values, status and respect, the natural world"...
@Shane, Yes if you can get the person to co- oporate . I've been telling a dear person to me, who's using, that meetings would help, etc. But doesn't seem to want to budge. So very hard. I do a lot of Praying.
@@jessicastrong6006 He’s not saying it’s Another individual’s responsibility to bring someone back from addiction by trying to connect with them. I am in a chemical dependency counseling master’s program, and the quote he is referring to is a comment on the larger society. The work and social structure in industrialized countries leads to a lot of isolation for most people. He was just talking about how an an ideal culture would foster more of a sense of belonging and community. It’s not a call to people to be codependent. It is almost never one friend relative or a loved one’s responsibility when someone feels isolated. You sound like you are a concerned person who has given of yourself to try to make someone feel they are worth giving themselves a chance. The sad thing about addiction is those afflicted don’t always agree with you, or may not be able to see the problem, as others do. Another saying I’ve heard is, “Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.” I do believe people are capable of regaining insight. It didn’t happen to me, though, until I was forced into a drug treatment or threatened with prison. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve ever checked in, myself. It’s extremely hard to have that insight when parisitic substances have hijacked the brain, and will argue with everybody and everything that comes between drugs and their host.
@@jessicastrong6006 That's one of the main components that makes addiction so insidious .... Because it insidiously reaches out way beyond just the user. It affects everybody close to the user specifically family and friends.
If it were as easy as that, drugs wouldn't be so all consumingly destructive.
The person in your life sounds to be the archetypal addict...They aren't just being stubborn or difficult ,despite how it seems to you.
A lot of people don't realise (or refuse to accept) that with drugs such as heroin and other opiates the addiction is also a physical dependence. .. Those incredibly painful and unpleasant withdrawal symptoms occur because the addicts body has physically adapted to the drug when used repeatedly.. Which is why there are withdrawals when the drug is not constantly present inside the body. The human brain literally mutates to depend on the drug.. That's only the physical side.. The majority of users will say that the PAWS (post acute withdrawals) are far worse than the initial withdrawal hence why staying clean is so difficult and the reason heroin alone has close to a 90% relapse rate! Because the brain and body isn't miraculously healed after a week of battling withdrawals. That's only the start. .. The psychological dependency will still exist within the brain because it hasn't gotten anywhere close to healing. PAWS last a long time.. typically anywhere between 6 months to 2 years but it's not uncommon they're present for up to a decade. ...
Those things are rarely known or acknowledged . ...so you get people who say things like "you only have to get through the physical withdrawals and you're done".... Nah.
So remember these things next time you feel like you are failing this person. Taking the inability to convince them to take steps to recovery as personal... It's addiction.....
It's why many addicts end up alone and completely estranged from family. Almost all have had at least one person if not entire family units at some point who like yourself offered love and support. But eventually for their own protection have had to cut all ties because the addict continues the cycle.
Keep praying. But stop thinking you or anybody but the addict themself can ultimately change that cycle.
There is a large segment of society that sadistically views addiction as an opportunity to inflict misery on the afflicted. That is undeniable.
249 days clean
This man changed my life today and he helped me to understand My addiction
How are you?
"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others."
-- Audrey Hepburn
and two ears for each side of the story
Audrey was a war time
refugee.
She suffered multiple trauma
Wow! Thank you for sharing, that's so powerful! Rest in love 😍 Audrey H ♥️🌌🙏💝
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Addiction is about escaping suffering but there is another form of suffering unrelated to the suffering from a traumatic past. This is the suffering of the now. The accumulated every day moments that drive a person into madness. In my opinion it is a mistake to think addiction is only caused by past trauma. Thinking that way can miss the Elephant in the room. I see more people using "addiction" to escape the now than I do to escape the past. It is also important to not think addiction is only about drugs. Almost anything can be used as an addiction. Addiction is an attachment to something to cope with suffering. To escape suffering. A healthy relationship too suffering (pain) eliminates addiction.
I agree with you. I know some seek substances or experiences simply because they trigger the pleasure center of the brain and it feels good. Then they seek it out and don't function as an adult. These people do not particularly have trauma.
I agree with you Katherine,I didn't have any significant trauma in childhood in fact no trauma at all,I was however unhappy in my teens and didn't feel as though I fitted in. Then I found cannabis which opened up a new world and a whole lot of new associates though that is all they were. Looking back on that pot use it was non stop and full of addiction red flags. In recent years most of my use has been to stem the memories of things that I have done during my addiction along with boredom.i am now just under one year clean from any mind altering substance and I've never been happier!
Yesterday or a second ago is just as much the past as 10 or 20 years ago is
Katherine Kelly indeed. And chronic pain. It ruins ones life, the medicating becomes the only option 4 escape.
Absolutely I've been married to my husband for 15 years, 10 of those years he would cycle in and out of addiction and I didn't get it I never had used. My story in a nutshell. He went to prison for unrelated offenses for 2 years, I broke my foot my doctor gave me a huge unnecessary prescription of opiates and the rest is history... I am now a recovering heroin addict for not addressing the trauma of now. I try not to use the word "never" and I do my best not to be judgmental, I was humbled to say the least! right off my high horse.
Thank you so much for this video. It has resonated with me to my core. I been struggling with a heroin addiction and I can’t figure out why I keep going back to it. I now understand I been carrying trauma I suffered as a little boy. I locked it away but in my late 30’s it came out and I started using. Drives me crazy because I have always hated drugs and now I became a slave. I am in tears right now and if I could just hold on.
You can get through this, but here is the tough reality that you will have to face. It will always be there, that is the addiction and to overcome it you will have to do the following.
1. Find another activity to replace it (working out, chess, sports, joining a club of sorts etc….)
2. Find a support group, people downplay this but it will open your eyes
3. Do it for someone and if there is no one and that is the case for some people, do it because you love yourself.
4. Because it only gets worse if you even do it once more.
Love you man!
You are not alone.
it is demonic isnt it ?
@@Anonymous-km5pj Many of those traumas must have been perpetrated by the insane. ONe still needs to face them.
First get to a treatment center to separate the body and clear the mind then with support and things to replace habits because they are just that a responsive habit that can be broken with work. With time you will be able to put the pieces of you back together and you will look back at how beautifully shattered you were and are no longer. Through experience I know you will get through this and you will keep the message going ❤😉
The work this man puts into this world is a gift. As a psychotherapist I read a lot of theory but I’ve never heard anyone make sense of addiction with such deep wisdom. I have such deep gratitude for his teachings, personally and professionally.
This man is very intelligent, very articulate, very thoughtful. His ideas flow in such a natural manner that he gets his points across effortlessly.
Well said!
This is the wisdom that flows from compassion
@@incorruptibleword4513 And from his actual experience with countless individuals caught in this cycle.
💯💯💯💯
@Daniel Alexander Could you explain that. Not sure what you mean.
“This is trench warfare” - “It is a response to human suffering” - “An attempt to escape suffering” “It is all about trauma” - This is deep. I agree completely. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🖤
A life with poetry...
Your name tells a whole story.
Addiction doesn't run in your family ..it runs in humans
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@@abekelly9935 it really doesn't.
I'm an addict..I wish there wasn't so much stigma around addiction,and that there were more like Gabor that had compassion,empathy, understanding for addicts...ask not why the addiction,but why the pain...❤️💯💯🙏
Excellent take away!♥️🙏🏻✨
So good - this should be a question all clinicians should ask, “not why the addiction, why the pain.” Thankyou
The response society takes just perpetuates the behaviour. Perpetuates the your not worthy, shame, less than. How can people not see this?
I don't think you can come out of a dysfunctional family that may have trauma, abuse neglect or all of them and not be an addict of some sort. It is the core of addiction and other issues like Dr. Mate said. I use to think only drugs and alcohol qualified but now I know it could be anything. Trying to fill the hole in the soul with something outside of us. Dr. Mate is on point completely.
To be honest, I don't agree with some of his statements.
Addiction is not only caused by Deficenies or suffering.
It's also caused by extremes.
You can see many spoiled brats getting addicted to videogames as a child and party drugs as a teen. You can see people whose very happy and comfortable get addicted to alcohol, they use it not to alleviate their pain, but just for mere enjoyment.
@@UN1VERS3S wrong
💯
@@UN1VERS3S you think just because they are "happy and comfortable" that they are not still searching for something to fill that hole, using something over and over but "just for enjoyment" qualifies as addiction bro.... we look to that one thing to make us feel good until thats the only thing we can look at, thats how addiction works.
I agree with you that hole could be anything. In my case that would be binge eating or tending to be anorexic.
There is no cure for my addiction, for I am absolutely powerless over it. I can however not engage in my addictive behavior once I find serenity. The way to find serenity is to make the 12 steps a way of life. Once that happens I no longer want to engage in my addictive behavior. This is the means to address my early childhood traumas with out engaging in my addiction. 11 years sober this month !
Amazing!
Well done but let’s face it the 12 steps don’t work for everyone. Low % of success
Congratulations!!! ♥️
@@marks.6869 Agreed. They definitely help me but ultimately therapy and inner self work and a lot of other daily self care, digging into myself and other things is what has helped me stay clesn more than the steps ever has although it is a factor and positive thing in my life as well.
Congrats👍🙌
He’s so compassionate. If only everyone had this much empathy for their fellow man .
People are to busy counting money and escaping reality they ain't got time for nothing else. Basically everyone is an addict. It's doesn't really matter if it's money, power, things, activities or drugs. It's as bad to waste your life watching TV as it is doing drugs or working in an office 60 hours a week. Balance is the one thing everyone should search for. There are two kinds of people. The ones who do to much drugs and the ones who don't do enough of the right ones ;-)
@@themaharishi8160 i learned from this comment as much as i learned from the video
@@aqanni This is where the internet comments section actually works! A great comment by TheMaharishi. They have hit the nail on the head. We are all addicted. This is something I learned coming through addiction myself and out the other side. As cheesy as this sounds, I have become addicted to actually living and loving my day, totally pure save a little vape machine I use and that will be removed this year.
I have compassion for those who actually try to overcome their addiction. But the ones that rob, kill, lie, do anything to get drugs I have no respect or sympathy for. They were horrible people before drugs and they're even worse on them. I know. I deal with addicts all the time at work. They treat me like shit, are rude, nasty, selfish people.
Unfortunately society will never change addicted 40 years amputation of right leg 3 wee brothers 2 çousins umpteen pals ALL DEAD "WE SAW THE NEEDLE, WE SAW THE ĎÀMAGE DONE..
I lost my mom at 15 to lung cancer after that my dad started really hitting the bottle hard. I became his sometimes literal punching bag until he passed away oct 1st 2018 at 57 from a heart attack I was 21. My family from my grandfather 2 uncles and two aunts on my dads side are all alcoholics. The only way we know how to deal with pain is substance abuse. After my father died I really started to lose it I lacked guidance and the only two people who really gave me that guidance were no longer on this earth. I slowly delved deeper and deeper into cocaine and alchohol until I was starting to lose control then me and my little sister sold the family home she moved on with a boyfriend and went to therapy i moved into my friends house with 425k in my pocket and made cocaine my best friend. Needless to say I blew most of that money on cocaine gambling women and booze. Anything to just make me not feel. I’m a lil over a month out of rehab and have had 2 lapses already. I’m not ashamed tho I’m proud that I’m fighting to live and I’ve given up trying to die. Life is not easy or fair but it is worth it. It’s time to break the cycle much love, Cale.
I love what you said, life may be hard and not fear but is so worth it. I deal with alcohol abuse and the pain I feel sometimes is just unbearable but I am not ready to give up. We can do it!!
How much did your dad or mom smoke?
Asking this because-of concern of lung cancer
Im 23 tears old , smoker for 3 years and smoke about 20 cigarettes daily
@@marceNJ27 ❤
I read you and I feel you , I hope you're doing well
Thank you for your story. Keep fighting.
When people love themselves,
they control their existence.
When they don't love themselves, they self sabotage.
I was born into addiction and fight everyday to steer clear of those who don't love themselves.
It's easy enough to do...I haven't spoken to my mother for most of my life.
I love her, but I love myself more.
Love and blessing to all.
You got this
This has been so hard for me. For a long time, I’ve know that I don’t like my mom. No contact would be so liberating for me. My issue is the consequences that will come with it. I’m sure my whole family will hate me and take my moms side. I’ve been trying to tell them how emotionally abusive she’s been to me…the only responses I get are “give her a break, she’s doing the best she can” or “well it’s your fault because you don’t stand up to her.” No one ever takes my side. I suffer from addiction, but no one ever recognizes it as a result of my childhood trauma…but when my mom is mean, manipulative and a controlling bully…they all refer to her childhood trauma and say I need to focus on the good in her and not the bad. This is the result of being the family scapegoat and having siblings as the flying monkeys
@@KingMark33 I completely understand..
I haven't spoke to my mom since I was 38...
I'm 48 this year.
We can love someone from a distance. They never teach that.
You do what you heart wants....if everyone taking the abusers side, holds you there...I will pray for you.
I have been alone my while life...its ok to carry on and love yourself. You are worth it.
I love my mom and pray for her.
I have been doing the best...highly educated
Loving ,caring and respectful peropls...we become what we allow.
We all suffer from addictions..be an addict of something good...like education or work...this what I chose to be addicted 2.
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Sit in the passenger and let God drive!!!!
Real shit
So true
No matter what led them to this, they don’t want to be there.
And never realise they are a pest in society.
I like to get rid of these actual ' pests ' on youtube ! Ignorance is not bliss, its a reflection of YOU not anyone else that you chose to reflect it on to.
@@wakeandbakewithmaryjane1767 If they realised it they would change. That remains my opinion. If you like sddicts for neighbours etc it is your pleasure. Not mine! And don't worry, I do understand the intention of the video.
Be happy in your ignorance, no said you cant. You are clearly very happy in it. Carry on. I just wish we could get rid of you the same way. It means nothing to me, YOU are the minority not me. No need to explain your ignorance, I couldnt care less about it.
Triggered much ?
@@wakeandbakewithmaryjane1767 It's unfortunate that so many people are so selfish and self-centered that they only think about the annoyance of having an addict as a neighbor. Instead of seeing themselves as part of a community where some in that community are suffering, they only think of how they are bothered by it.
At first, addiction is maintained by pleasure. But the intensity of this pleasure gradually diminishes and the addiction is then maintained by the avoidance of pain.
Thus, a choice.
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Not true for all cases people turn to drugs to relieve pain I know because I have experienced this people like u who think u know it all and blurt out stuff u have no experience in kill me and one of the reasons why I was in pain lack of understanding hurts like u will never know to put it in perspective I hate u made this comment so much if I could I would find u and end u but bcuz of the law I won’t please only speak positivity or on things u know or u will end up speaking to the wrong person
@@kryssym1460 Moron, pleasure includes relief from pain. smh
@@Stall-FedCalves Just saying its maintained by pleasure insinuates that its merely some hedonistic and gluttonous behavior though atleast to someone who only ever got into drugs because i couldn't handle the world around me.
Not saying thats what he was trying to say at all but i could see how someone could interpret it that way.
This has been a theory of mine. First time I've heard anything like this!!!!
Rehab to me is useless for me personally. Never been. Never will.
Interventions? Worst idea EVER. The addict goes to treatment for wrong reason. Can't be for your kids, spouse,fam, etc. Has to b 4 you
I have seen more in my 40 yrs that no human being should have to endure. So I decided this is the reason for addiction, if you get to the core of the trauma, relapse chance is slim. But I have decided that I'm going to be a substance abuse counselor. Bc there is literally nothing a person can walk in and tell me that ive not experienced
May sound far fetched. But I think of everything. I tell myself I've been through all these years of pure hell, abuse, trauma, everything, so I can relate to anyone that will come in my office to see me. That's my purpose. I've been through hell so I could ease others away from passing through it's threshold. I have extreme childhood trauma. As well as the rest of my life until now. I have lost over 25 FRIENDS to the opiate epidemic. I don't want a spot on that list . God bless everyone. Keep ur heads up. Don't be ashamed of WHO YOU ARE. Be ashamed of decisions and actions. Life didn't get this bad overnight....... Gonna take more than overnight to clean up ur mess. Start by literally making a list of everything u need to do. Starting with easiest to the hardest. Work ur way from top to bottom. After a few things work out easily, ur whole attitude will change. Bc u now know little things we take for granted are things that can help us more than we think.......... Working on med ins bc unfortunately I'll need replacement therapy for a bit. Suboxone works if you let it honestly. Then I found out I only have 4 tickets to pay to get license back. There were 8 or 9.....
Health/sobriety
Mend relationships
License
GED
Loan for classes/Enroll College
Small HUD loan so I don't ever have to live this way again.....
I'm excited for the first time in a very long time.....
Sorry for the novel. But I felt compared to share.
Good luck to anyone and everyone with whatever journey ur on. Even the ppl that think being 5,6 or even 7 days clean is nothing......
Its a hell of a start loves 💜
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I believe there is hope for me then.
I recently had a deep conversation about addiction arriving at the conclusion that there has to be another angle that we aren't seeing outside of the two predominant modes of thought. Thank you for this. This is a solid alternative explanation.
Extra phone, my best wishes that you achieve your goal of becoming a counsellor. The wounded healer is always the best healer.
God bless you on your journey-
Suboxone worked for me, miracle drug.
Look at the way Portugal tackled this,they realised its not about blaming but integrating , the results were marvellous.
As an ex-addict myself I honestly have to say that I see myself in what he is saying. I feel like he knew better why I chose that path than myself at the time. More people need to see this.
Does anyone also get high bc that is the only way they can talk about the bad feelings? It isnt only an escape?
I am an ex addict and now an AOD worker, and learning all about illicit drugs and addiction - it taught me so much about myself and why I used in the first place!
This video makes so much sense!!! Everybody needs to hear this!!!
This guy is brilliant!!!
@@thesoliloquist1940 Yes, its all relative to the individual. Some use addictions to forget, others use them to remember.
You’re never an ex addict , you’re always an addict!!! You just learn how live with it , manage it so it doesn’t get out of hand!!
When your live in a state of fight or flight for so long, you don't even notice you're walking around in a state of fight or flight. Then your own behaviors and expectations compound your problems. The relief of "just one" or "just one more" becomes a necessity. And sometimes it literally is. Can't tell you how many times putting drugs in my system kept me from killing myself.
The great news is, you can overcome anxiety, you can overcome trauma, and you can overcome addiction/s.
There are plenty of tools and resources to guide you through, you just need the right ones to suit your situation.
When you are able to put even just this tiny distance between your true self and your behaviour, as you have here in this comment, then you are already positioned to win back your self and live your best life. What you can 'see' can be exposed and changed. Blessings and peace to you.🙏🏾
I recommend Tom bilyeu, Russel Brand and Jay shetty podcasts. We are what we are exposed to (books, videos, tv shows, people, etc) and when you have deep seated traumas, there is so much to learn from people who dedicate a lifetime at helping people like you. These podcast by these highly empathetic people who seek to interview great human beings are overflowing with powerful information on how to help yourself. You end up becoming your own savior.
What sucks though is eventually the very thing you feel is helping will become the very thing you hate. Idk, addiction & being an addict is such a complex thing. One thing I have learned though throughout my struggle is I’d rather be present in life feeling than to be half way there feeling nothing.
How are you doing now, Sheila?
This video is amazing. My dad is an addict and throughout my childhood I always thought that he CHOSE drugs over my siblings and I, I now realise it wasn't that black and white, he self-soothed in hopes of healing his traumatic childhood and unfortunatley unded up with a severe drug addiction. This video has changed my whole perspective, I now understand my Dad and why he is the way he is and I have the upmost love and compassion towards him. Thank you!
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
i might know why. I similarly choose drugs over my dog sometimes (my dog is my only reason to live), the more i love my dog, the more it makes me realize that i was never loved. its a paradox loop. if your dad is like me, his love for you might be the reason he chose drugs. the more he loved you, the more trauma he got from realizing he was never loved. if he is like me, he is honest, merciful, and not strict. he makes you feel good and gives advice instead of punishment. he easily changes his mind based on your opinions. i hope im right.
One thing I try to keep in mind with my parents is they didn't have the mental health resources medications and it was something that a lot of people kept things hush hush because it's frowned apon.
Unfortunately they are cut off as a child I understand and as a mother I learned my lessons and I will no longer come back three months later and make up it's not happening that is the same things went too far when you put my son in your house with drugs in it when I asked you if you are using please let me know I'll stay somewhere else she said you know I'm not doing anything you and my grandson I staying here will guess what surprise she was using methamphetamine I know my look in my eyes when I found out the look I never done before my 28 years from that day all she's dead to me
‘Addiction is not a disease. Dis-ease is the presence of some ‘thing.’ Addiction is the ABSENCE of everything.’ Good luck.
Addiction is a disease in the sense that the brain goes through dysfunctional processes (releasing neurotransmitters in certain circuits) that make it understandable why it's easy to do it again and again and why it's difficult to stop. Even after the original trauma is resolved, the addiction has to be addressed separately because there is a biological component that is maintained even though the original addictive behavior is triggered by psychological pain.
@@Tamarahope77 the problem though isn't just the initial trauma. that in itself creates it's own demons in later life(in my case) which are debilitating to this day.
Nonsense.
Well said thanks
"This is the real secret of life -- to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play."
-- Alan Watts
Wow that is awesome statement
Nothing to do with what's being discussed in the video whatsoever. You just craving the feels of grandiosity by using some "wise person's words" randomly in a YT comment.
@Sheila Mchgee Just sayin'... 🤣😘
@@Ucho469 I agree, was a little confused on this 1.
Well said.....Alan Watts.
Thanks Question Everything? :)
I don't know how many times I have said the same words and yet no one listens. So sad bc people can heal themselves first emotionally and the addictions can be easier to over come. My heart breaks for these souls. Thank you Dr. Mate. Bless you
I listened.
Former addict myself. For me the beginning to walking out of that life ie.drugs, jail, violence, theft, etc etc. was when someone who was not like me looked past my outward appearance and believed I was worth their time even when I didn’t believe I had value. The real change came when I realized that I was valuable. I was introduced to a love that was without end and a father that was heavenly. After I asked Jesus into my heart I was shown who he was and who he is and now that he is in me then my spirit is what he is. I separated my soul from my spirit from my flesh. After that it was just a matter of identifying with my spirit over and over until my soul was tamed and my flesh was tamed. One day I dumped all my old pictures, adult videos, magazines, all of the things that pointed to my past life of carnal pleasure and burned it all. There was no way to go back to that comfort so I might as well move forward. I never got anything right all the time but now years later I can tell you you’d never know who I was based on what you see now.
that's a beautiful testimony, thank you for sharing that.
Wow amen. Waiting for my mother to come oht of that lifestyle
absolutely. A complete change in environment is a really strong step. Back in the 80's my uncle, who was a brutal alcoholic, left his family for 6 months. Went out into the woods with other addicts in a structured sort of survival course with physically strong athletic men (leading the athletic/survival course side of things), and mental health and addictions counsellors. He was a changed man when he came home. Amazing really. His entire perspective had changed after being around those with a completely different outlook on life, and of course NO opportunity to go back (within the 6 months they were hundreds of miles from civilization). He lived his best years after that. His marriage survived, his 3 kids loved him, he was a great uncle, brother, father, contributor to society. Sincerely happy and joyful for the rest of his life. And a great testament that anything is possible. Prior to the survival course he entered, he lost his business, lost his house, and lost his family. He was sick, and regularly endangering himself with casual intimacy with random strangers/women. He was not religious, but he was a spiritual dude. Love and miss him.
yes jesus is the way
This man gets it. Temporary escape from pain. You can recover, I have, and I was the guy that was Never gonna get clean!
✌😊❤
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Congratulations! It gives me hope. I hope you live a fantastic life :)
This is why LOVE is the most important commandment. We need love each other not judge each other. May God bless everyone who is struggling ♥️ and everyone who is unsympathetic.
I quit drinking after decades, within a year of starting trauma therapy, on my own & w/o AA. I lost my son 3 years ago, suddenly and it did provoke trauma response but there was no temptation to self-medicate. We need more professionals & resources for mental health, I don't know anyone who grows up saying that they are going to grow up to be an addict. Dr Gabor Mate', whom I've met, is a quiet hero amongst a world in denial. Thank you Dr. ❤️🔥
AA has roughly a 10% success rate. I'm absolutely convinced the reason for such a low success rate is because childhood trauma is not a main focus.
I’m blown away each time I hear Gabor speak.
We tend to numb the pain with drugs, too much unhealthy food, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn, etc. But it’s in the pain that lies our best transformation ever! Your worst times can become your best times. Don’t numb the pain, use it as fuel instead 🔥🔥🔥. Much love and success to all of you. ❤️❤️❤️
Great Advice. Peace and Love to you and yours as well.
@@forexdaver It’s awesome to hear that, thanks a lot! 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
100% true but in the eye of the storm, how do you see the silver lining?
@@mou7866 a good start, in my opinion, is to open up about the pain or the addiction with supportive people, with those we have a great connection with. To feel understood and surrounded by those who care about us really decreases the emotional discomfort and is one of the best 1st steps we can make towards recovery.
“Dont numb the pain” enables you to move through it .. good quote
Pain is and always will be the underlying factor in Addiction..
Yes and avoiding that pain leads to even more pain .. it is tough
But not an excuse. We need to stay strong
Realization of what caused the pain, to Accept the past and to accept one self, is a start.
It's a vicious cycle. I dont want it. The pain. But I think im a sucker and love the hurt.
Not really, how many kids are out at parties and someone pulls out some hardcore drugs and they accidentally get addicted to it? Pain played no role here only stupidity. Its very possible to get addicted to certain drugs the first time you try it.
I relapsed recently after an extremely traumatic experience. This is so so accurate, made me cry. I love how brilliant he is, no judgement.
Reading "The Body Keeps the Score" gave me such a good understanding of just how pervasive trauma is in society and how poorly funded the treatment models are. Nonetheless it was a fascinating read and Gabor Maté touched on a lot of points raised in the book. I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to understand more about trauma and how it manifests in later life. I hope more people will read on the subject and ultimately be more compassionate towards each other.
There’s another way to get healing that cost nothing, Jesus Christ
I’ve read maybe half of that book and had to put it down. It’s a lot to take in.
@@louiselysa Each to their own ❤️
Such a warm message to remind us to stay human with that inner compassion. Thank you!!!
i have healed myself from trauma that began before i was born. NO ONE knows you as well as you know yourself. listen to yourself and heal
Would you mind sharing how you went about it?
@@YellowIcicle it began by listening to life, and all things that were happening to me, being alone and no matter what i listened to myself and tried to understand my choices, why i made them, what i could learn. for 3 years i used meth every day and because i chose not to beat myself up anymore over my choices it freed me up to learn from it. i learned forgiveness for my birth mother and my adopted mother from my cat that got lost and then came back.. there is so much more. i did it on my own and then discovered Gabor Mate on accident and then i realized i had figured out his theory on myself and used his methods on myself without even knowing about them. i am 56 years old and for the very first time in my life i love myself and am figuring the way out from addiction and depression with only a GED, youtube and an open mind. i am truly thankful and want to share.
@@angiemmorris1978 could you tell me more on how you did it
@@egyjuice I will try...first I really listened to my own story. I took my time and started to identify my feelings, why i had them, how I felt about my family, how I was treated, how I related to the world, the circumstances that brought me into the world, figured out missing pieces, started paying attention to the things life was showing and telling me...i am trying to get in touch with dr mate i am a walking, talking example of his theories and methods and i did it on my own. i have so much more i want to say but I get overwhelmed with it all and can't find the words i need. however they are coming, the universe is smoothing things out and doors will open and I will be able to share. no one needs to suffer because of lack. we all have exactly what we need inside ourselves to heal. we just have to relearn how to listen and understand our own unique self that no-one else on earth can know, i am seriously wanting to do a youtube channel about stuff like this, if i can help anyone from suffering even for just 5 minutes its a win for me''
@@angiemmorris1978 Truly wonderful! Having this much strength is a true power. Good for you!
"Addiction is an attempt to escape suffering, temporarily." Wow, one of the best quotes I've ever heard.
As a single parent of three kids, i thought i spent all my life protecting my children from harm, but listening to this, i was probably part of the stress and trauma on my kids. Only one is an addict and could never really figure it out. But i was unhappy and stressed when they were small, it is an eye opener.
His approach to addiction is so compassionate. I never really thought much about this stuff until I became emotionally dependent on prescription benzodiazepines. My dad was an alcoholic, and I did my share of drinking in my 20s, but I stopped when I began blacking out. It was easy because I never liked the taste of alcohol. It didn’t occur to me that I might have a predisposition to addiction.
However, when I became severely depressed later, I began extra dosing with the benzos originally prescribed for anxiety and insomnia. That’s the first time I experienced what it’s like to zone out of the pain that was my life at the time, and man, I loved how they made me feel.
I began extra dosing more and more and lying about why I was going through my prescriptions so quickly. I eventually started planning my weekends around my drug use. I finally had to be hospitalised to manage the withdrawal when my shrink pulled the plug on the benzos. But I remember thinking if this is what heroin feels like, I totally get why people take it.
The experience completely altered the way I think about addiction and addicts, and I have a lot more compassion now.
I did a lot of drugs in my life, speed, flakka, cocaine, GHB, tramadol, oxycodin, alcohol. But the thing that maked me a real addict were the benzos, oh that stuff just got me and made me feel like a real addict for the first time, the brutal withdrawals multi-day blackouts, seizures.. no not that 'dangerous' illegal street drugs, nope the legal presscription drugs. Now im clean and in recovery.
@@agceh I hear you. Sometimes the cure really is worse than the disease. I’m glad you’re doing well now and are in recovery. Much love to you. ❤️
It saddens me how truly these human beings with addiction are so harshly judged by society. Really disgusting honestly. Thank you for this factual and informative video.
It's very hard , I was repeaditly raped as a child by a neighbour, there were also troubles at home with drink and fighting n abuse... I was in a very abusive relationship... I'm 46 now and i have to admit an alcoholic n addicted to prescribed medication.... I've had friends just screaming at me and saying they'll end the friendship if I don't GET MYSELF TOGETHER... even family telling me I'm useless.. it makes me feel worse so I'll drink to numb how horrible I am... I don't want to be this way
As I grow older, I stopped thinking it’s our intelligence, or education, or the amount of money we have that makes us unique and different from each other it’s our experiences. those experiences dictate how we think, how we love, how we react to stress, and eventually how we choose to leave this world.
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Yeah it sucks. Luckily, in my experience, at least, the stigma has been lessening, even if ever so slightly. I'm 24 now, and compared to when I first entered a treatment facility at age 17, even the professionals have begun to rethink their approach and the words they say. I won't lie and say I don't still hear people saying ignorant stuff, but in the last five years I've definitely seen a decrease in it. Something I'm really grateful for is how people have started to accept that addiction is a disease. Not everyone, but in the last year alone I've had people come up to me and apologize for saying things like "addicts are just bad people that choose to make bad decisions," and so on. I think the only way we're ever going to fix the drug epidemic is by learning to accept what's happening and by realizing that once an addict doesn't have to mean always an addict.
@@vannah12222 Addiction has spiritual roots. It’s a matter of through trauma fragmenting & demons gaining access. Check out my Deliverance/Healing/Integration playlist. I’m always adding to it.
We need more love and compassion in this world.
It's hard to have compassion for a POS addict who robbed you, or hurt you, or is just a scumbag. Not saying all addicts are like this but the ones I have encountered don't deserve compassion from me.
@@demonprincess2045 That is their automatic response to get what they need to cope with their suffering.
@@ThorOdinson1269 Sounds like an excuse, having an addiction doesn't automatically turn you to thievery and violence. Those people still need help if they are even willing to take it, but doesn't mean those actions can simply be excused.
@@brotherman1 It's not an excuse, it's a reason. It's a result of addiction. It's literally the equivalent to a stab wound making you bleed. Just stop bleeding? It's obviously still a shit thing to do, but people do bad things due to bad things happening to them. And not showing compassion because you were emotionally affected by someone else's emotional pain is not the way to go man.
We need a society that supports peoples basic needs, that's the "cure"
I was traumatized & abandoned as a child. Abandoned numerous times. I overcame 15 yrs of c & the pipe using c. At 65 I use cigarettes & beer. Beer is causing high cholesterol & it's 3 glasses per day. One cannot escape from prior/current bad habits. Loved your video, thanks!! 🇨🇦❣️🌹 (Ps. Have had psychologists, social workers, lifetime). I have borderline personality disorder, due to my childhood. Well most times I'm simply grateful to be alive. I'm still trying to let go of my painful past. STAY POSITIVE & DO WHAT YOU CAN NOW/TODAY.!!!
This guy is beyond brilliant. He has a great mind. I only wish people like him would want to become leaders in this world and others were smart enough to start a movement in the right direction. However I feel too much of this world is already f***** to the point beyond help and others are too lazy to join in the fight. I thank you for this video and it has opened my eyes immensely. Keep publishing great work like this. You have the utmost respect from me and many others I'm sure. Thank you for sharing your work and research.
I had a food addiction for 2 in my late teens.. it disppeared when I met my husband.he was kind and loving.
I’m developing a good addiction from doing Uber eats so much since the pandemic #help 😩
The way he said "well, okay," is the most understanding tone I've ever heard
He is a Master of Compassion. 💓
I agree with the doctor. During my training as a certified addiction treatment counselor, I gain new insights around causative factors and contributing factors. One thing I learned about myself, was that drugs and alcohol became my escape and violence became my outlet. I've been in "ACTIVE RECOVERY" for 6,510 days. And currently work in the field of mental health dual diagnosis.
Narcissistic traits. Why tho?
How did you get your training? I want to do this work.
Wow! An incredible job of self-rebuilding you’ve been preforming- bravo!!!
That was the best description of addiction I’ve ever heard . This guy gets it.
"We can guide people to healing, if we ask the right questions"
The question is why are people sick in the first place. What is the cause?
@@ruslannabiev2399 It all starts with the first impact of huge emotional pain. When it's too much to comprehend. Emotional pain is common, but when it's too much as a kid...might be the start of it all in my opinion. A spiral in a cycle of confusion
@@ruslannabiev2399 50 years of wage stagnation. The media itself, full of occult themes, is actually trapping us in depression.
I totally agree
What about people who just “tried” drugs like herion for example then became addicted. This happens and then they steal to feed the habit and hurt other people. This isn’t right or fair on others. Yes pain is most likely, very likely to be the main purpose to get away from a hurt past but for many others it’s been being with the wrong people and experimenting. Pain or other issues can then be used as an excuse this I believe.
I pray good health & healing for everyone who’s see’s this & everyone who is truly good.
I'm more of a chaotic neutral.
Only if they're actually good though right?
Isabella, I'm afraid God doesn't exist, nor Satan, not Mahoma, not Jesus Christ, not Budha, not Zaratustra, etc... 'em are all LIES per se to control Population. The Empowered People are very interested in entertaining us (The Forgoten), cause if they don't do it them would be exposed to our power (Spiritual Power), cause God you are and it's inside you. You have all the answers to yourself and you just have to Genuin Trust Yourself.
I'll leave you something would make U not to pray anymore, cause if U Whant To Change Something:"Just Do It"
New Order -- True Faith
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
And the value of destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun
End
Well, there's another way too:"If You Whant To Change Something, Change Yourself"
Thanks for reading if you have done it, and if you haven't doesn't matter.
Peace, Love and Anarchy (Notice that Peace and Love are before Anarchy) One Love One Heart 🙌❤✌😉
As I said before:"You Have All The Answers To Yourself ". Definetly I'm not an Oracle. But I'm afraid God does not exist cause I've been searching Him or Her for so long, and due to all this Hell I've lived He or She, in case that's the answer, might have appeared and they didn't. I believe in Love, Kindness, Empathy, Peace (Real One), and all this qualities Human Kind has and he's lost... That could be an answer?
What a wise and kind person is Gabor Mate, i live in Armenia and im an addict, they dont now how to help addicted youth here they just ruine peoples life, my goal is to translate this speech and try to help addicted people here and help myself!!! It is horrible to be an addict in a place like here no help whatsoever,im very very grateful to Gabor, unimaginable help, carried me through the darkest times, i wish everybody who reades this to get clean soon it is possible with the help of God and people like Gabor!!!!!
I know why I'm an addict. My dad passed away from alcohol when I was 5 and I grew up for 10 years with a physically, and verbally abusive step dad. A child needs love and positive reinforcement while their mind is developing for them to grow in to a confident and functional adult.
I suffer with depression and anxiety. I've gone to get help, but counselling and various anti depressants/SSI's haven't worked at all so I chose to self medicate with cocaine, mdma, weed, lsd, alcohol and anything else I can get hold of to try get rid of the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Drugs are the only thing I look forward to, anything that alters my perception of myself and reality. I know that I need to stop but I don't have the willpower to do it. I'm 32 and have struggled with this for the last 14 years and feel like I'll be stuck in this cycle forever.
I'm an alcoholic and this speech hit so hard, so very true
Yep. I couldn't maintain sobriety without facing the traumas I endured. 3 years into my sobriety and bam! The night terrors and hallucinations started - ptsd. I found a therapist who also happened to be sober so she understood the value of my sobriety. She was also a gifted therapist and asked me all the right questions. That was 33 years ago. I'll be forever grateful. I've seen many fellows go back out because no one understood they needed help with trauma :( Been a fan of Dr. Mate now for years. He's supposed to release a documentary, soon.
You’re honesty is inspiring to see. I hope you can stay safe 🙏🏻
You cant diagnose yourself
@@jenwendy7 been sober going on six years. I’ve told a few people I swear I haven’t had a good nights sleep in about five years. Night mares almost every time I drift off. Can’t really stay asleep longer than two or three hours. But even tho there’s all that, I still feel stronger emotionally and physically than I ever have.
My mate is an alcoholic. He is anorexic now because he cant hold down food. Hes in pain everyday. It doesnt look like he is going to get better. He has liver damage and i think kidney damage too. My problem is weed. I am having a hard time stopping smoking weed. I enjoy it but it stinks and makes me poor
The bigger problem is, these traumatized people before they heal, keep having more children and then traumatize them and the cycle continues. I don't say this lightly, it is just sadly what I have seen too many times.
What you are saying here is very true. It's also the reason I've chosen not to get married and have kids. At least not yet. I'm far from healed and I certainly don't want to put that damage onto my wife and kids, should I ever get to have them.
This cycle goes back all the way to WW1. How many vets returned home and took up drinking and hitting their wives and children?
@@Igneous01 no, this goes all the way back. Back to the beginning of humanity. People hurting people is a tale as old as time; even the bible will tell you that. The story of Cain and Able is the perfect example: One brother beats and kills the other over jealously. Fascinatingly, that's the first story of humanity after being kicked out of the garden of Eden. At least that's my understanding.
But yeah, the people returning from war definitely bring demons home with them.
@@anthonymoses3697 Very true. Trauma is as old as humanity. What we call PTSD today was the default mode of survival for our early ancestors.
It's a miracle we ever evolved out of that mode and can even comprehend things like love and affection today.
@@anthonymoses3697 True. I heard in a talk that trauma is in our genes, dating all the way back to Adam and Eve. Still, my own childhood trauma sure made it heavier.
The depth of emotional desperation and suffering experience by an addict is something that cannot be understood by anyone who has not gone through it themselves. It's understandable then, that addiction is misunderstood so terribly by so many.
To be honest, I don't agree with some of his statements.
Addiction is not only caused by Deficenies or suffering.
It's also caused by extremes.
You can see many spoiled brats getting addicted to videogames as a child and party drugs as a teen. You can see people whose very happy and comfortable get addicted to alcohol, they use it not to alleviate their pain, but just for mere enjoyment.
He literally just told me why I’m at this very moment tho I’m ashamed to say I’m addicted to alcohol and drugs myself. He just said what happened to me in my life and how I tried to handle it and what my consequences were. He also made me think very deeply and now I can honestly say I know that I can get over my problems and be productive
Such brave words, my friend! I wish you the best of luck in your decision 🙏🏽
I get teary listening to Dr Mate.His compassion and humility are remarkable.
Same.
as an recent addict entering recovery, having heard this video, now probably 6 times in the last 90 days, everytime I well up, because he NAILS it. I didn't even understand myself until I had watched this 10 minutes of video.
True❤️🙌🙏
czcams.com/video/03vvnhpV1q0/video.html
Nice moniker
Addiction is the outward physical expression of inner pain and turmoil.
Amen!!
Not always. I didn't turn to drugs because of a trauma or bad childhood but it certainly became a crutch as I got older and experienced sadness and loss
@@deltahomicide9300 I said nothing about trauma or bad childhood, although they can lead to addiction. Inner pain and turmoil or similar if not synonymous with sadness and loss.
@@okthennone Oh okay. Well allow me to clarify where I'm coming from.
I saw addictive substances for what they are. No matter where I came from or what I've been thru - I got addicted thru enough usage and time. That's the nature of addictive substances. One day I did it to have a good time / forget, and before I knew it I became an an addict. Still it's a cop out to say Everyone gets hooked bc they're trying to fill a hole, a spiritual need. No. I kept feeding the habit until it became a chemical dependency. I don't need to seek therapy or medical treatment.
I quit or cut down on my own. My whole thing is I fly solo and stay sober, and other addicts can do the same. I know this is sacrilege in many formal programs - the idea that we can quit on our own with no formal support network or medical treatments. Well I'm here to say not only did I quit, but once in a while I can still drink or get high. It's not a relapse either. I simply have my priorities in order
No, it isn't.
I know three addicts intimately. Everything you say about trauma exactly applies to each of them. They have suffered immensely and doctors along with society, continue to brutally punish them. 💔
To be honest, I don't agree with some of his statements.
Addiction is not only caused by Deficenies or suffering.
It's also caused by extremes.
You can see many spoiled brats getting addicted to videogames as a child and party drugs as a teen. You can see people whose very happy and comfortable get addicted to alcohol, they use it not to alleviate their pain, but just for mere enjoyment.
Addiction is from so many things...emotional abandonment, suppressing familial stress from parental alcoholism and illness. Covering up the pain in whatever way that soothes...whether nail biting, shopping, smoking pot, over exercising and sexing, fixing others, but not self are all ways we can anesthesize suppressed feelings and deny our need to self reflect on the destruction our negative habit patterns that run our lives. Cultivating self love is the answer and for many a life long process to finally get that inner boundaries count aligned with the integrity of our word, that we are worthy of the good, the beautiful and the true, that we have value and can finally love both ourselves and others without Co dependency and dysfunctional mirroring of our unprocessed wounds. Living a Spiritual life of surrender in the constant becoming...has led me to my inner prayer. " Thank you God for Me, Because of You, I AM! Journey Well!
Im of alcohol& Tobacco for 6 & 4months.
On a nofap journey which are going very well also.
Heard this quote that make me think twice.
“When i get the urge i know something else is stressing me out & i need to focus on that. It was very powerfull for myself to realise.
STAYHARD!
Thats great. Thanks for sharing and all the best for you
Stay hard? Nofap? I see what I did there.
He definitely sums up addiction well! Good video! Since 1973 I’ve always been addicted to something. Finally at the age of 62 I can say I’ve been clean for just over five years.
Finally an explanation I agree with. Addiction is a response to suffering. It is a simple as that. What we all have is a broken heart, and we find what we find to help manage that broken heart.
Well said. After years of study, I traced my addiction back to childhood trauma. There are many layers to an onion.
I'm almost completely surrounded by smokers. People are constantly asking me for cigarettes. I've never smoked ever in my whole life. This explains a lot. Thank you.
Brilliant. I am a recovering alcoholic. Relapsed after 30 yrs after my cruel mother died. Too much pain which hadn’t been dealt with. Sober and clean now and very strong, stronger than I have ever been. Dealt with the pain, feel free finally and at peace. Easiest way is to go through the darkness, the loneliness. Eventually it ceases to be.
Ive listend to him several times & the 1st thing that struck me was his true healing intentions for the addicted afflicted persons
Abused as a young kid went into a 36 yrs of drinking drugging and crime 49 i wakened up to what had happened and who those monsters that pretended to be family while plotting behind our backs to hide the years of ABUSE , still dealing with this now but with no addiction to drugs or drink and crime free ,,yes we can heal and NEVER GIVE UP 💛✨🙏
“A response to human suffering” maybe the best way I have ever heard it put in my entire life
*_ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST INTO YOUR LIFE, JEREMY._*
I have struggled with addiction since 2007 and after listening to this man I truly consider him a genius and the way that he's able to articulate WHAT addiction actually is and WHY it EXISTS in the first place is just mind-blowing. This truly is the best explanation of addiction I've ever heard.
So do i
Hi Angie :) I overcame a lifelong addiction and this is what I learned in the process. Peace.
Trauma is registered in the human soul. Emotional pain when triggered arises from deep in the soul causing one to flee mentally and emotionally in the other direction, outside of themselves. This running often leads to substance abuse or repeated negative behaviors as a way to deal with the emotionally powerful feelings and/or memories that chase us. How can one who runs from his/her own soul overcome or make peace with their past when it takes the full power of one's soul to be able to fully heal successfully? Obviously, we must confront and treat the trauma before we can expect the addict to be able to reaccess the power of their own soul and have the conscious strength and lasting determination to successfully end their addiction. There may be desire to heal but there's no power to heal in one who is subconsciously running from their past. Stop running, observe your soul, confront your problem, only then is healing from all symptoms even possible. The drug is the symptom and the often subconscious soul trauma is the cause.
[I'm speaking from personal experience but that doesn't make me right.]
Thats what my fiance said. I was kind of offended that he wanted me to watch. Bc addicts are not that uncommon. Why did I need to watch this for?
Him: bc he explains it in a way that no one else does. Me: _throwing my hands up like a drama queen_ so when I am nice, or in other words putting the "weight of the world"... on my shoulders, im still being unheard? Bc it seems like it. No cred.
I always knew or felt what it was, I was just never able to put it into words.
How much parents love their children and children love their parents? Have you watched the film “Lorenzo’s oil” starring Nick Nolte and Susan Sarandon as the parents of a child sick with a rare incurable brain disease who research and work incessantly to find a cure to save their son’s life? That never happened with addiction, the so called “family disease”. Not only parents and children of addicts, likewise psychologists, psychiatrists and rest of humanity, didn’t research the affliction, when just reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous (which the mainstream of addiction recovery programs are based on) and being honest to want to understand is enough to understand that addiction is the psychology of a liar, but silence the truth that would save their so called “loved ones”. Are you queuing in the crowded comforting lies or alone in the unpleasant truths? Do you believe addiction is an incurable brain disease that affects young healthy criminals that has never been found or detected by any biological or other means? The only common denominator between all addicts from any social background or distinction is that they are notorious liars. Humanity are dying deceived deceiving living a lie because parents don’t teach their children to be honest because are not honest themselves. The truth is addiction is the tormented psychology of an unforgiving liar, drugs don’t cause addiction and only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others, advertising themselves as victims stealing attention. In life like in psychology events and behaviours happen for a reason. Addiction runs in families because psychologies, behaviours, beliefs and else are transmitted from parents to children, like father like son, because humanity don’t think for oneself, otherwise there would be agreement on the truth. Hate, lie, hurt, ignorance comes from hate, lie, hurt, ignorance and addiction appears in bad families of parents who hurt their children. I am a recovering addict, a fool who knows that is a fool, a wise man. I don’t know much but i know what i know. The truth is stagnated among liars and when the unpublishable truth is published mortality rates would collapse provoking humanity’s addiction recovery, a burst of psychology, guilt, shame that was bottled up, desensitised, ignored in active addiction. The war, nightmare of living a lie would end because would be proven that you are like i impossibility possible miracle God.
I was fortunate enough to see Gabor years ago at our Education summit PD before the start of our school year - one of the only presenters ever I could not take my eyes off of fit 2 straight hours! He’s bailed EVERY PART of trauma/ addiction connection ! Wish the entire world MEDICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH SPECIFICALLY PROFESSIONALS COULD SPEND JUST 1 day with this brilliant humanitarian ❤🇨🇦
To be honest, I don't agree with some of his statements.
Addiction is not only caused by Deficenies or suffering.
It's also caused by extremes.
You can see many spoiled brats getting addicted to videogames as a child and party drugs as a teen. You can see people whose very happy and comfortable get addicted to alcohol, they use it not to alleviate their pain, but just for mere enjoyment.
14 years I've struggled to answering the question, myself.
I am blown away with how easily they put it in words.
Well explained. Even if we re not addicts as such, we all engage in numbing, distracting and compulsive behavious to distract ourselves from 'problems we have no other solutions for'
Here’s another one I think you’ll like- check it out!!
czcams.com/video/07JjBk8q5Gg/video.html
Yes!
"Even if we re not addicts as such, we all engage in"... thats the difference between an addiction as a medical disorder and a bad mood imho.
Finally, someone who knows that addiction is not a disease! I’ve faced addiction 3 times with 3 different drugs and beat it with zero professional help. A new approach must be taken and this Doctor is on the right path. God bless you sir!
"3 times with 3 different drugs ". Did you manufacture these drugs, or did you get a 'script from a professional? Be honest with yourself, you DID receive professional help.
@Nexter5722 I disagree....for me it was very difficult...I functioned very well, worked in a professional field and used heroin on weekends or between jobs (I worked mostly big projects as a surveyor) ....I had the good fortune to overdose at 17 in 1968, with the better fortune to have a couple older friends who saved my life....but I was cautious after that, and equally worried about hepatitis so was as safe as possible. I was at the upper end of the user portion of the continuum of use- abuse.-addiction It was much later in life, during the economic downturn of the early 90s and back in university in a Social Work program that I was actually first diagnosed with PTSD....the journey in PTSD treatment then a growing understanding of Complex PTSD has the effect of eliminating the desire for pain numbing drugs. Since then I have worked with a lot of people who had addiction as part of their issues, and virtually all of them had been exposed to childhood trauma .
czcams.com/video/Hl7H0PpLJu0/video.html
You beat it once
What drugs? Using needles? Smoking K2 is not the same as shooting cocaine and heroin. You sound like the same people that say "oh pick yourself up just stop"
It’s so refreshing to hear the truth about addiction, I hope this finds its way to many emergency rooms across the globe. Thank you for your insight.
This is the most honest video I have ever seen about addiction some people don't even realize that they've been traumatized because it's buried so deep. The saddest thing in our universe is that we have spirits locked up in prison because of their addiction
This guy is very intelligent about addiction, I've overcome alcoholism and smoking‼️ Now I'm a professional swimmer‼️ParaS10
Amazing! well done!
Yeah I’m trying to stop smoking cigarettes
@@martinhall3315 think of the money you'll save and better health you'll have, you can do it.
@@martinhall3315 you can do it! make sure to deal with your emotional needs first
But only by the Grace of God
I've long thought that we spend a good part of our lives recovering from our childhood. I was sexually abused by an uncle until the age of 11. I buried the memories so successfully that when I started to have flashbacks in my 40's I was shocked. When I finally let the pieces of the puzzle fall into place in therapy, everything made sense. The relationships I chose, the drinking, the trust issues. My point being that there are a lot of us who are genuinely perplexed by our own behavior until the memories start to come back.
I am terribly sorry to hear about your childhood. I was also molested until about the same age.
Im 22 years old now and I finally realized what had happened to me at about 18ish. I was on lsd and told a friend.. god man,do you remember the first time you told someone? Didnt it feel like a weight off your chest? I remember crying so hard when i told my friend, that feeling was unmeasurable. Can you tell me about your break through or epiphany if you would? Im curious how you dealt with it and if youve recovered from these memories.
We are definitely a rare breed for having gone through that
@@zmoo3788 You didnt know you where molested until you where 18 how come?
@@josefcosta5269 Our brains and nervous systems are wired to dissociate us from experiences that are extremely horrible and painful in order for us to survive. The dissociation remains and blocks memories of the event. Even perpetrators can disassociate from their actions.
Most if not all perpetrators are traumatized people as well...and so the cycle goes.
@@savvybytes3748 So you mean some people dont know if they have been molested as kids because the brain has blocked it.... So how can some1 know if they hav been molested if the brain have blocked it? ...
@@josefcosta5269 very good question.
For me, I hit almost an epiphany. And it's not like you completely forget it happened, but you realize what happened was traumatic and you relive it when youre older(after becoming more intelligent) and realize it's wrong.
For example, I had blocked these memories until I talked to my friend about exposing our own secrets (we were 18 and it was a deep 5 am conversation). He told me a funny secret and I told him my molestation memories. When I told him, it sounded fucked up saying it outloud and when I saw his reaction, i cried like a baby. I realized everything that happened to me wasnt normal, I thought everyone faced difficult hardships like myself until I had this conversation with my friend. And when you remember these blocked memories, they come in a flurry, you relive it.
It was a huge break through for me, it's hard to explain but thats the most accurate way I can describe it
If you have been through trauma and watching this you have hope and courage
beautifully said. 1 year sober here and I am still healing past trauma and digging down deep to find who I am truly and who I dont want to be anymore. thank you for this video
How I've seen it since high school is: "It doesn't matter how we label it- choice, disease, or otherwise- because that doesn't get people the help they need." I hadn't put together the response to trauma part. This was eye opening.
My mother was a heroin addict for 20 years and a lot of addiction is fueled by trauma but sometimes it is because the person loves the pleasure inducing properties of the drugs and have just a pure relationship with the drug and love how it tickles the pleasure centers of their brain, sometimes trauma has nothing to do with it, they just like getting high and that's part of it to and for some that's all of it.
Absolutely spot on. Every addict isn’t traumatized or whatever, sometimes the pleasure center of their brain has simply been hijacked by a feeling so powerful, that they crave it. End of story.
@@HominisLupis and then the viscous circle begins because when you're not on your drug of choice, you like yourself less and less.
I had seen this video a few years ago and l was definitely relieved to know that Dr. Gabor was really right on about his assessment of the addict. I am an addiction recovery, new recovery. I sent this video to members of my family who judged me, who excluded me. However moving forward l am hoping they will encourage me and support me. Addiction is no joke and every day clean is a paramount success.
I use to take a handful of prescribed meds just to get myself in the shower. About 2 yrs ago while having an intense toxic entanglement with a man who come to find has NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) somehow I fell into Alan Watts, researching trauma, the brain, and sleep guided meditation. After listen for 4 nights while sleeping to CZcams sleep guided meditation I woke and as usual went to take my xanax, SSRI, gabapentin, pain killers then paused....looked around, waited for the normal flood of overwhelming anxiety to penetrate my body. And nothing. I had this clarity come over me, I think it could be defined as enlightenment and awareness. In that moment I felt betrayed. Betrayed by doctors and society. I had zero withdrawals, little vertigo for a week. I believe wholeheartedly that withdrawals are created by external influences from ppl who profit off of, and convince the world that addiction is a disease, that it's hard to stop, hard to recover. They lie. Recall those moments as child when you would have to prepare for a speech infront of many. How your thoughts out of fear would create butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms, hyperventilate even. These created off of a false fear just as we have been conditioned to believe addiction withdrawal and recovery is difficult. It is as easy as you perceive it to be.
Forgiveness is the best way to win back life
YES!!!!! I 155% AGREE!!!! Until I could forgive myself and others I could not STAY SOBER!!!!! Clean and Sober since 5-10-2015.
I was a traumatized little girl sexually abused from ages 2-5 then lived a great upbringing with excellent school grades very talented. However at 24 I was trafficked because deep down I felt yucky no real sense of self love. At 29 I got away from the evil handlers and God sent me a beautiful Soul Gentleman to LOVE ME BACK TO LIFE UNTIL I COULD LOVE MYSELF!!!!! We were married 21 blissful years then on 5-10-2019 I got my 4 years sobriety at 6am then at 11:11am I was burying my Beautiful Beloved!!!!! I really had to seek a Power greater than myself and keep believing for myself. Today I live very happy joyous and free 💜 THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Don’t give up on yourself because GOD LOVES YOU!!!!! I take very good care of myself my mind my heart ♥️ and my Soul!!!!! JESUS CHRIST SET ME FREE!!!!!!
@@monicaramirez51015 i quit smokoing until i am super angry ...then i do LORD PRAYER ...lol ..forgiveness is the best way of life
Forgiveness to who?? To those who make you suffer everyday???
@@cepelinai123God please forgive me, I am sinner, I willing to forgive who make me suffer, please God, let me enter heaven, please forgive me God
@@cepelinai123 planet earth is full of suffering, I just want to enter heaven,
this is so heartbreaking that we punish people for their pain. may everyone heal rather than adjust.
I went into rehab last march and since coming out I have relapsed twice, this video is the first video I've seen that explains it so well, thank you
I get a sense that his words are coming from a very compassionate point. How refreshing! Thank you for providing us with a very profound dig into this issue!
I fought addiction for many years, in and out of prison the whole nine yards. Sometime in my mid 40s I just lost my want to get high. I can't explain it or put my finger on it. I guess I just had enough. Now when a junkie asks me for money on the streets I dont judge them I give them money. I understand than even though it is killing them at least I can help them be well even if only for a moment. I have had so many friends die young, it is a sad way of life.
Happy for you !! Stay on course and God Bless
I do the same thing. I know so many who have recovered I figure if a few bucks helps them get through the day, then I'm all for that.
Stop giving them money to keep being a addict. Instant talk to them. Keep talking until they come back to reality and can laugh again
@@salometipsandtricks2786 stop giving them money won’t stop them...they’ll just turn to,stealing and robbing at gun point...which would you rather have??
Give them food or something to wear instead