How Do You Clean While FIGHTING DEPRESSION?
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- čas přidán 31. 05. 2024
- #autistic
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a moose bit my sister once
Well I sure hope she's ok
my niece done got bit by a copperhead
Was it 'curtains" for the moose after that?....
She shouldn't have been carving her initials on it!
møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...
Mack, I'm a psychologist and this is such a great video on what psychologists call "behavior activation" that I'm keeping this to share with patients. I enjoy you normally but this video is outstanding. Thanks for what you do.
I'm going to give his suggestions a try. Going though depression for 5 months straight is horrible!
I’m a licensed therapist and I am also going to share this video with clients.
@@KarenAnne1965 hi dear
Can you help me as therapist please?
I want to understand my situation from another side
Not only from my social and environment situation .
Hey, I'm certainly not a psychologist, but this man can make some awesome videos that touch me and a lot of other people! I also have chronic depression and anxiety and it is so hard to find someone that puts it into perspective like Mack does! ❤❤
@@imanezema5550it's unethical for a therapist to treat someone who isn't a patient..
I tell myself "Okay, even if I'm still depressed when I've finished this thing, at least I'll be depressed with clean socks/scooped litter/groceries in the fridge." And having those things WILL help me feel a little better.
Totally agree. I look at it as I can be depressed and get something done or I can be depressed and get nothing done, so I always push myself to do what little I can. And then, when I get some time that I do feel able to do something, I can go do something fun guilt-free, because I already did the chores earlier. Pushing myself when I don't want to means I get to make the most of my better moments.
I feel the same, my depression turns to anger when I let myself down with letting messes go, it always helps to scoop the litter, and have some clean washing rather than smelling cat poop and dirty socks 😂
Done that recently. Being depressed with a clean floor was indeed a lot better.
Oh, I really like that.
I ❤ this
Currently living in a pigsty of my own making, paralysed by PTSD and depression and homesickness, but "moose are notoriously opaque" made me smile ❤
My Mom was riding with me in my car the other day. She noticed a special key ring attached to my keys. She said, “ how long have you had that, I’ve seen it before?” I said, “ probably 28 years or so.”
Mom asked “ Where did it come from?”
I said, “ Well a patient was dying and was having a horrible night. His daughter was staying with him and I promised her I would stay on top of his pain during my night shift. I give him medication every 2 hours all night. He passed away later that day. She thanked me for helping him and gave me the key chain. You know the saying ‘if I could help just one person, my career would be made?’ Well I think back to the night often and feel like I made a difference.”
She smiled. My mom has been having some issues with fatigue lately. We have addressed it medically as best we can… but I think it is depression. I’m sending her this video so Mack, you know you have helped at least one person. Thank you!!
Beautiful 😍.
This is wonderful. Please also get your mum checkes for sclerosis. I suffer from depression since my late teens. Including lack of motivation for anything and being permanently fatigued.
My mom showed signs of this depressive fatigue years ago, would sleep a ton etc. Typical depression signs. She knows me and she knew whatever she had wasn't depression. She talked to her "house doctor" (I don't know if that exists in the English language, in Germany we call it "Hausarzt"), who also happens to specialise in psycho therapy. Well, after said doctor figured out it probably wasn't depression since my mum showed no other sign of it other than fatigue, they transferred her to Neurologist. Long story short, they found a sclerosis in her brain. One. At some point it developed into two etc. which made it "Multiple Sclerosis", MS.
@@ThorsShadow thank you for the sweet response Thor. She has horrible spinal stenosis requiring surgery in 2016 from C2-T2. The best guy in this part of the country did it, used bolts and plates and saved her life. I told her tonight over dinner I really think it is her spinal cord trying to get the job done with structural issues in Different places. I told her that everything was connected in some way to her spinal cord and it just wasn’t right…. At 80 with no pain we are dealing with it. She has terrible osteoporosis. We were so thankful he could repair her neck. She can walk with some difficulty using a cane. She can feed and pretty much dress herself. She can work in the garden a little. I booked a cruise with them for November. We are blessed and life is good. I just have to encourage her and remind her how lucky she is. For anyone reading this if you suddenly begin experiencing urinary incontinence please get check for MS. It is one of the first signs something might be wrong.
A complete stranger makes a video and talks about depression. I will never meet this stranger in person, but he speaks from my soul. Can you imagine how many people you are helping with your words? Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
♥
@@ittt6339 ❤️
🩵
😊😊😊
❤❤❤
"Empathy is not an option; it's a requirement." I love that quote!!!
I was floored by this. Ohh, how I wish more people understood that. Thanks. So much. I'm learning a lot from your content, but this might be the most healing and important of the bunch. I've never been so grateful for a pee soaked carpet in my life.
That sentence really moved me !!!!
I am 67 since Covid I am still scared to go to the shops many years ago my Dr said I wasn’t depressed I was just sad the last few years I’m more than sad I am protecting myself since retiring two years ago I am sad I lost my two best friends in 2020 I have family but live by myself my kids have busy lives I find it hard to tell them how I feel
I remember during a live chat someone started talking crap about people on assistance & Mac & Emily both said "NO SIR, we don't do that here". ❤
Can someone who lacks empathy learn to be more empathetic?
My MIL has suggested to me that instead of making a 'To Do" list, make a "DONE" list to remind yourself what you accomplished in the day. That way you aren't looking at losses, but small accomplishments. Also, my husband is a veteran that suffers from anxiety and depression. There are days where he is constantly stuck in his head about how poorly he is doing and it is so hard to watch. Big moose hugs to you and your family for pushing through these illnesses ❤
Hi Andrea, please look into EMDR therapy for PTSD - it’s not that common, but it’s gaining popularity because it seems to be pretty effective for treatment of veterans with PTSD and other people who have anxiety and depression, and cannot get “unstuck“. Best wishes for your husband and you and thank you for his service and for both of your sacrifice.
A "TO DO" list is important bc it helps clarify and organize what needs to be done. The satisfying DONE part is when you cross off....even one item!
I've tried that, actually. It does help. It's so easy to feel like I haven't accomplished anything, especially when I'm struggling. The "done" list works wonders.
I too made a DONE list before. It really helps and encourages. I had forgotten about the DONE LIST. Thank you for the reminder.
I do a combo.
I add the barebones needs at my worst to a to do (like "eat"), and then I also add what I got done that might not have been on the list.
Like maybe some sort of physical activation was on my to do and didn't get done, but I did get the dishes done.
Dishes are now added to list and crossed out.
Reminds me that even if I didn't get the shit I planned done, I did make sure eating will be easier tomorrow.
Or maybe my hair is still dirty but I did get food to feed myself.
What helps me I learned from KC Davis: take care of tomorrow. Tomorrow only needs one clean outfit, a few clean dishes, and somewhere to sit. Keep taking care of tomorrow.
Depression is your bully to fight, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bring a friend to the brawl.
You’re a good friend.
Well said
I'm screenshotting this 🤗 🥰
Kick fuck out of your way ....🥰
Words to live by! 💗👍
Totally. Well said 👏
I’m a woman and I don’t always manage the “get out of bed” thing. I lay in bed and think about how worthless I am and useless and how it would have been better to not be a waste of space and how hopeless I feel. My husband does not understand so I have given up on him understanding or empathizing (after almost 40 years of marriage). So listening to you today I got up out of my recliner and dusted and started cleaning my blinds. I will need to enlist my husband’s help to get them down for me. Tomorrow vacuuming will be my goal.
I was very impressed by this comment, I just wanted to say that. I’m sorry you’ve had to give up on your husband empathising. It’s not easy to fight to be understood without a good response and then keep getting out of bed feeling wonderful every morning. Or even half of the mornings.
I'm proud of you for cleaning your blinds. I understand the "not wanting to get out of the bed" thing. I often spend an entire Saturday just laying in bed call my scrolling on my phone, because it seems pointless to try to overcome the overwhelm of my to do list. Thank God I have a job, or I'd be absolutely screwed.
Something that might help you that has helped me, is get cute little tools that make you want to use them. I found this old antique duster that is adorable and it in turns makes me want to actually use it, which encourages me to actually dust... Normally it's something I have to remind myself to get to but when I see my duster I now get excited to use it
Yes!!!! You freaking rock, girl!! That hubby of yours is gonna have to suck it up. Show him this video 😂 I love you, keep going!!!!! ❤️
Kudos to you for realizing you are in charge of your own happiness. I was expecting a "you need to leave him if he doesn't make you feel like the queen you are" BS. You are a good woman, and keep up the good fight! You got this!
I had a friend over today who helped me build a shoe rack and organize my kitchen. Literally haven't felt this normal in months!
I always fantasize about having someone to help me with my tasks! It would energize me so much and be fun! But I know everyone has their own tasks to do. What a great friend you have!
"Moose are notoriously not transparent" had me in stitches.
I’m a woman, and my symptoms are like yours. No sadness, no feelings of worthlessness, just unbelievable fatigue. Thank you for this video!
I went thru this several years ago during COVID. The struggle is real. 😢
Sort of like living in the sadness cotton ball
Idk how to describe it
Have you checked your vitamins levels? Especially B and D?
I am right there with you🌻✌👍
As someone mentioned, vitamin and mineral supplements are life in this case! The fatigue is debilitating. Take a vitamin mineral combination with 100% juice and give it about 30 days to feel the results.
After an accident landed me in a wheelchair for months, I fought depression by scooching around on my butt cleaning & repainting all the baseboards in my house. A neighbor girl with purple hair came over everyday to eat lunch together while we watched HGTV. She also helped me declutter. She made $$ & I had company & projects. My cat Gigi loved riding in my lap around the house in that wheelchair. Thx for this awesome video & best wishes with spending quality time with your son & your aging dog.
Holy cow, you are my hero.
Thank you for sharing the way you took charge with such positive action, very inspiring and motivating. Awsome
Just the mental image of Gigi on your lap as you're rolling around the house is good enough to cure my depression for today, thanks!
My husband and I were 72 when we decided to rip up all the carpet in our 1200 square foot home and install vinyl plank flooring. Just the two of us. He has PTSD and I have BPD, depression, and who knows what else. I can't stand anything out of place. To make a long story short, that floor thing was a bloody, two-year-long nightmare! On top of all that, we had a car wreck the week we started demolition. Buck and I fought a lot, I bawled a lot, and the dogs thought we had lost our ever freakn' minds! Weeks into the project, my ADHD brain decided to switch gears and I refinished a cedar chest, the kitchen cabinets, and blanket chest! When we finally got back to the floors, some of the sub flooring was so pee-stained and water damaged, we had to cut out and replace, which was a nightmare in itself. Now, 5 years later, I still haven't adjusted to the floors. I don't like them at all. My house doesn't feel like my house anymore. I don't feel like myself anymore. But the carpets were so bad, and we were so broke, that we had no other choice but to ignore it or do it ourselves. Buck and I are still married, we still love each other, and I decided not to sign myself into a nursing home!
❤️ 🙏 stay strong. Thanks for sharing.
What an inspiring story!
Through all that, you two found the mental AND physical strength to get things accomplished.
Don’t lose that fire that forces you to push yourself! 💜
Rely on the Lord each day to see you all through life's difficulties. Entrust your lives to Him. Have put you all on my prayer list. Think of others in terrible circumstances right now. Thank God for what you have. We have a roof over our heads and food in the pantry. Praise the Lord always.
Wow. This mindset can hopefully help a great many people.
"Action leads to motivation, not the other way round." and "anything worth doing, is worth doing half assed. at least then it's half done instead of not done at all!" amongst the best words of wisdom from a therapist I've gotten for getting things done through depressive episodes
"Aything worth doing, is worth doing half assed" is great!
It warmed my heart to hear you describe your partnership with your son, even though you pay him (nice!), it’s nice to know that you have him in your life.
@@sternentigerkatzeYeah.. haha that's so great. Will need to use that for my recovering perfectionist tendencies..😅
💯!!!!!
My favorite trick is to set a timer for 10 minutes. For that 10 minutes, I usually do things to make the house smell good and reduce visual clutter. I open a window, light a stick of incense, take out the trash, make the bed, and put dishes in a sink of soapy water. After the 10 minutes is up, I can sit down again with no recriminations. Sometimes I do sit down, sometimes I keep going. There is a street fair in my area this weekend and I'm using up a lot of mental energy fighting with myself on if I'll go or not. I know I need to spend some time around people, so I'll do my best to make myself go. We're all in this together, so let's keep fighting!
Sounds like the Tidy Tango from That Awkward Mom keep the faith 😘🌲
I hope you have a good day...
ADHD challenges ❤ them!
I do the same trick but with a 5 minute timer. I always start with 5 minutes. Sometimes after several rounds I can go longer other days not but it does help to break down the tasks into small chunks. You feel better but without taxing yourself. If I absolutely force myself to work all day when I’m depressed a lot of times I’ll rebound and become more depressed or sick. The depression and my body fight back.
Did you feel like you were in a void? Just nothing there…everything is muted?
This video felt like a warm hug from a very caring and driven uncle, it was a wonderful reminder of not being alone.
I didn't get nearly enough parental figures in my life that were as kind as you. It really makes a huge difference to hear this from you. We respect your hard work, which inspires so much of us.
Your voice over did change a lot, thank you for making it. ❤
When I listen to you, I see a very clever man. I think your health issues are what has made you so clever and understanding.
I think you're amazing, really I do. Thank you, ❤
Sandra. North Wales. Britian.
I've been fighting and struggling all my life to try to blend in and appear 'normal' , to keep my shit together, to tick all the boxes, to appease others. I work hard, I'm calm, I'm genial and pleasant around people. Inside, I'm screaming and howling to just be away from them. I know it sounds fucked up, but this includes my family - mother, husband, children etc. A few years ago a co-worker came to me and said some of the ladies were getting together for a special lunch. They'd already cleared it with the manager so that this core, intimate group could be off together for the afternoon. By default, due to my position and seniority, I was part of this group. These were my 'friends'. This co-worker, this lovely, empathetic women, after she'd told me about this said 'It's up to you. I know it's not your thing, and that's OK. We love you either way'
This is the nicest, most meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me. To be acknowledged and recognized and appreciated like that was so liberating for me. It was the first time, the only time (because I mask very well) that I felt I'd been given permission to be myself.
This so absolutely incredible. The narration is about 100,000 dollars worth of personal therapy for free. Thank you so much for this video. YOU GET IT. You get it.
nailed it, my thoughts 110% xx
What a loving & intelligent husband, a true stand-up man!
At first I thought this was just a cleaning channel, but you have helped me so much not only with my ADHD/Autism/Depression related untidiness, but all symptoms related to them. This is so much more than a cleaning channel. Thank you forever!
I watched this while laying in bed feeling exhausted and depressed. I've never heard anyone explain depression this way. It made more sense to me than just about anything else I have watched or read about depression.
I've been watching your channel for a while now, and I have to say, MMC is not really about cleaning as much as it is about the effects of mental illness. Thank you so much for what you do. I have learned so much, but especially empathy for people who have hoarding disorder and forgiveness for myself for struggling most days.
Thank you!
Your words, "if you're a full grown adult who still thinks this way and still reacts this way to other people who are suffering It's not the world that needs to change, it's you!"
Bravo!!!
Empathy is NOT an option!!
I appreciate your use of this platform to help educate others
"I don't know much about music, is what I'm saying." Man, you made me smile today. So much respect to you for working through depression and speaking to us masses, too. We're here for it.
Incredible words of wisdom! I’ve fought depression since 14 years old. I’m now 73 and still learning how to successfully battle this disease! I’m keeping your post on the top of my ‘stack’ labeled “Inspiration for when I’m frozen”! Thank you for being so honest! May we all fight the good fight!
Psychotherapist here. Depression can be a killer. It’s helpful to think of it in the terms you outlined, like you are fighting a war with an enemy. It’s important to fight it, with the tools you described. Force yourself to do something, stay physically and mentally active.
The way I do it is "pick a direction and go that way". Just do Something, anything, because then you have started. That's worth a pat on the back.
I am grieving the sudden & tragic loss of my 23 year old son. And all I want to do is sleep & never leave the house. I dont think I can survive this. Im extremely exhausted. I was diagnosed with ptsd, panic attacks & anxiety due to the way I lost him. He was silent. No warning. He told me everything! Or so I thought. He was here & then he was gone. Why didn’t he say something to me?! Why didn’t I know? A mother should know! I couldn’t save him! I wish I could have saved him! I would die for him! I replay it in my head almost daily. I have so many questions & no answers. Did I do something wrong? What could I have done better?! Why didn’t I know?! I dont know how to move forward. I can barely get through each day. I dont know what to do. The night his heart stopped beating, I died that night too. I am not the same person who loved to make people laugh. I’m just not her anymore. There is no joy without sadness. Because the only time I’m happy is when I’m with his older siblings. But even then I am very sad because of his absence. He never missed a family function, ever. He is such a sweet boy. My golden soul that everyone loves. I miss him with every beat of my heart! I loved him his whole life & I will miss him for the rest of mine, with every painful breath I take. I know he’s ok. But I’m not. And I dont know how to be. Yet here I am, watching a video to help motivate me. I dont know if anything can help me. My soul is truly shattered. I just want my son back. A mother should never bury her child. I am now Vilomah! And I am a twice suicide survivor. Losing a child will be the death of me. And losing him the way that I did makes it all so much worse. I am so lost. I just want my son to come home! 💛🕊️
Thank you for sharing this message. I can relate.
@@dianathomas1025 I’m very sorry for your loss. Grief can be all consuming. And there’s no answers to some of your questions. I hope you seek some counseling to help you. Be kind to yourself and be there for your children the best you can. Your son would want you to go on.
@@dianathomas1025I’m just here wanting to send you, a perfect stranger, love and support. I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. I went through (still am) something very similar, but with my best friend who I found... I can’t even imagine going through it with a child… It’s been almost 9 years in my case but it still feels like yesterday in a lot of ways.
I wish I had answers to your questions. I had the same questions and I’ve gradually come to accept that they’ll never be answered. I beat myself up for so many years asking those questions over and over and over again and it took a huge toll on my mental health and changed me forever.
I saw a quote once that said “Grievers use a very simple calendar. Before and after.”
I like that quote because it expresses the stark delineation in time, and also that there IS STILL an after (even though I know it doesn’t feel that way right now). It’s a VERY different ‘after’ but… I’m struggling to find the right words… we do still exist. And we still have others in our life that exist and that we care for. So we go on by crying when we need to, learning to ignore the bullying voice in our head that beats us up, taking the smallest of baby steps, seeking therapy/free support groups, etc. until the ‘after’ gradually becomes the present and we’re no longer reliving every moment in the pain of the past. I still have flashbacks after 9 years but I can finally move past them more quickly and not let them destroy me. I don’t know if any of this makes sense or helps at all. I just want you to know that you’re not alone, your feelings are valid, and there is hope. No matter how long it takes you to find it in your own way and at your own pace. Please take good care of yourself on this difficult journey.
Last year I bought new door knobs to match the new color of my house … every day I saw them sitting in my garage and wanted to install them, but just couldn’t because I have had so much anxiety and depression I knew if there were any hiccups it would send me into a meltdown. I’ve been in therapy (not for the first time) since March and today I finally reached a point where I felt confident to install them. It felt good to have that project complete. I really needed that victory !
Proud of you! Way to go!
Omg. I totally understand that fear of starting something I MIGHT not be able to finish "well" or "right." The voice in my brain is quick and vicious with self-criticism. You might be able to walk away from another person of hang up a phone but you can't escape yourself. Its absolutely paralyzing. Glad you were able to move past your doubts and get the task done. Kudos to you because I know it's not easy.
As a decades-long sufferer of generational depression, I 💯 relate to the 'just move!' line of thinking. I took up gardening 5 years ago, a couple of years after being widowed, and now when I feel the black dog starting to follow me, I head out into the garden and weed, or prune, or re-pot plants, whatever job my garden needs at the time. It makes me feel good because I'm achieving something whilst getting the endorphins I need to boost my spirits.
It's not a cure. It's not a magical fix to depression or anxiety. It's just one of many tools to keep in the mental health toolkit, and to take out when a repair is needed.
Love all your videos, but particularly loved this one. I really respect how empathetic you are. Well done. You're going to make a wonderful grandfather.
This is probably one of the best videos I’ve seen on depression. Your symptoms are my symptoms. I just get more and more discouraged by my inactivity and thus my living conditions, it just feeds on itself. It’s like I’m fighting with myself to just live a normal life every day. So,far, depression has the advantage but I think I’m going to,try your method and really try fighting it. Thank you.
“You’re worth a google search, man.” Mack, you are a treasure.
Wife is going to be surprised. Awesome work you two! ♥️♥️👍👍
Thank you, Mack.
That line shook me to my core.
I have been a hoarder once. Clutter and hoarding have ruined my 20s and have caused 30K debt, a severe burnout and homelessness. But after homelessness a lot of things have changed for the better. I've developed structural habits and rituals that keep it simple to clean the place up once needed. Now my home is clean and tidy at all times and organized as never before. I have a healthy food stock. My backyard is sterile, tight grass with lush growing plants and shrubs. I've learned that cleaning and gardening are ways to fight depression.
My roommates destroyed my kitchen after I stopped cleaning up after them and I got really depressed and started hoarding after that. This year I'm finally getilting my house cleaned up. I'm glad to see it's possible to recover!
@@mx.heavenly4767
Same to both entries.
Recovery is possible but requires discipline and patience, it's not a linear path. Treat it like the addiction that it is. Replace reflexive self-soothing behaviors with self-respect. That means doing highly unpleasant things like boxing up and letting go.
Wow! Amazing! You are the comeback kid 🙂 from homelessness to where you are now, what a journey. Best wishes.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏽😊.
Loved this! My husband is a submarine sailor. I have to fight depression every deployment because I'm not in my home state and not working so I don't have a social circle. I start small with just taking a shower and self care, then deep cleaning one room at a time. Staying active and my mind occupied is SO important when he's out to sea. On another note, my husband grew up in a 100yr old farmhouse in the Village of Dwight, IL 😊
“I’m trimming off the crap so they can grow stronger and more powerful than they were before.” Sage words.
You completely understand-"A massive struggle just to exist." You speak to so many of us.
When I’ve done the housework, I treat myself to a cheap bunch of flowers. When I see the lovely house and pretty flowers it makes me happy.😊 Then I try to remember that feeling when I don’t want to do it the next time.
That’s lovely. Like, I might be stealing that, thank you for sharing!
That's a very good thing you do and is actually recommended in clinical therapy. I like to soak in the tub when everything is cleaned and vacuumed and new sheets are on the bed so I can relax and then crawl into nice clean sheets. . . .Ben & Jerry are usually involved in this along with a favorite TV show I recorded.
yes!! part of depression is your usual reward center being broken, manual rewards to make up for it is my favorite tool. I don't have much of a natural 'celebrate that things are clean' response, so I force myself to stop, look around, and appreciate it. It took me a while to notice the difference but now that I have, cleaning is a lot easier
I got emotional when you started painting the bathroom purple when you don't like the color, and in a major room in the house where you'll always be seeing it! That's so sweet! Like you said, that's love.
Your love for your family and especially for your wife is unfathomable! ❤❤❤❤
“Oh look, more carpet!”
😂
I'll chime in and say, "Oh look, more dog urine!"
!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ah, look, more carpet tacks!
Finally found a quote worthy of my dating profile, "In my world and in my community empathy is not an option, it's a requirement and if you haven't learned that yet Billy Madison your ass back to school and start over."
excellent!
My mom clean houses for a living when I was growing up and she taught me all kinds of good tips. I really appreciate how much you go into the psychology behind these things and how to declutter your life. 2 years ago I ended at 11 year relationship and I have been a mess from it. My house has been full of stuff and your videos have really helped me
One thing that really helped me is instead of saying can I use this or do I need this I started asking myself "can I live without this?" It helps
Part of what feels good about doing chores is that it’s a way to take good care of your future self.
I wish I'd lose my appetite when I'm depressed. I eat. Constantly. And my sleep patterns are just all over the place. I honestly don't know how to fight my depression. I've got my antidepression "tools", but that's just a holding pattern. I can't seem to gain ground on it.
I've got arthritis in my back and hips (everywhere, really), and fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Changing my cleaning style to only clean small areas and giving myself permission to clean the house in stages over a number of days was a huge change for me. I really struggle with not letting it make me feel like a failure because I can't do it all in one go anymore.
I do lose my appetite when depressed and just so you know, it’s the same nightmare as binge eating, just different.
As said in the video, please have empathy and compassion for yourself, the fact that you’re still cleaning your environment despite having those body and psychological issues is HUGE, I can’t imagine doing all that while being in great pain. I don’t know you but I’m proud of you, sincerely. You’re doing your best right now ❤️
Senior female here with symptoms like yours-- I don't get sad, I just have no energy and feel unmotivated, so I sit. I love all of your videos, but this one was extremely powerful and incredibly helpful. I've been listening to it over and over. It's like a balm to my soul, and yes, it got me moving. Thank you for all you do, you are an amazing human being.
I'm the same, I'm not sad or have to much in my mind but I sleep next to nothing which leaves me with no energy and certainly no motivation which then leaves me feeling guilty and more depressed because I hadn't got anything done. The only things which keep me fit and gets my brain in gear are my horses and dogs 😊
Same here I'm actually a very happy person I just don't have the energy I'm now working on exercise when I get routine down I will start another project ❤
Me having issues with cleaning sometimes mostly from poor health and my Autism and neurotypicals misplacing everything when I moved and it's annoying I still cannot find nothing.
Loved this video and shared it with loved ones. I’m doing the anxious, depressed senior thing as well. Need to get up and go find those tax documents from 2020. Breathe in, breathe out.
I have autism. Autistics often suffer from something called "autistic burnout" which can look a lot like depression. I can tell you how I deal with it when it comes to keeping up myself and my home.
1. I get a rough idea of what I would like to accomplish.
2. I prioritize the most important things I need to do
3. I take lots of breaks, which is essential for autistic burnout
4. Most importantly if I am not feeling up to completing a task I give myself a time block to work. This is an amazing way to get some stuff done so that it does not stack up to an undoable mess. For example I will decide I can work for an hour, and then I will start working, turn on a podcast that is approximately an hour long and I will work until it is over. If I still have energy I continue on. Even though I will not have completely cleaned my home I will have gotten a lot of things done, stuff like getting the trash out and the dishes washed.
5. I try not to leave a room without taking something with me that I can put away. In other words if I am going to the bathroom I will take my dirty clothes with me. If I am going to get a glass of water I take my dirty dishes to the sink. If I am going to the garage I take tools I have used back to where they belong. It is amazing how much you can get done just by taking one thing with you when you move around your house.
Wow: "When picking projects to fight depression,....I focus on projects that end with beauty."
That strategy itself is beautiful and it works! I spent 6 hours sorting through 18 years worth of stacked paperwork, and realized it was going to take several more days. The "work in progress" was not a pretty sight, but I was dead tired and it was late. Walking through the kitchen, I saw with dismay, dirty dishes still in the sink, so I forced myself to wash them; and I do mean FORCED. But even a small thing like the shiny, clean stainless steel sink made me feel grateful, happy, and relaxed before going to bed.
I adore you Mack and your wife, your son Jason. I think one part of the many reasons your channel is so successful is because of your understanding and compassion for mental illness. So many of us suffer. We hide it, we try to function and you talk about it regularly on your channel. Anxiety attacks are so physical and so life altering for me and for you to understand this and explain it to viewers helps me to not feel so alone! Depression: your description was spot on! Oh and I've been so excited to see you finally rip up your carpet. This video was so awesome. Ok, so I have NO carpet in my entire house and I love how clean it is! I also suffer from extreme allergies so being able to fully clean the floors helps that too. I love watching your videos where you do improvements, especially to your own home because with all that you do, seeing you get to spend time on your own house makes me happy. Also, you are so funny! You make me laugh everytime and as you know when you suffer from depression, anxiety, ADHD, or autism this is a healing that no drugs can do. Laughing is a healing to the soul!!! So keep it up my friend, I'm glued and can't get enough of your channel. Keep focusing on what you're doing and you will have that gold plaque.
He has three children from his first marriage ... Jason being one of them, then another son & a daughter. No children from his second marriage.
I am a teacher for 26 years. Sometimes i feel like i don't want to go. I just want to stay in bed because i don't want to deal with their bad behaviors. This career put many teachers out of action for depression.
I was in a really tough teaching position last year (my first year teaching) where the district didn't support me at all even though i was dealing with incredibly challenging behaviors. it was so bad I left after one year. This year I have an incredibly supportive district and team and I love going to work even though we have some major behaviors. It's crazy how much changes just by feeling like other people have your back.
As nurse I understand, but I went for myself and the coworkers whose lives would be more difficult if I stayed home and for those who didn’t intentionally act badly.
I'm a teacher too. I feel this down into my core. I teach middle school and though I'm pretty good about not letting their bad behaviors get to me, the sheer volume of behavior problems I have to deal with would drown even the most experienced educator. I try to be fair and compassionate, but I also remind myself that most of them will outgrow their misbehaviors by the time they get old enough to start working, or else real life will beat some obedience into them (and maybe a stint or two in the criminal justice system for the really recalcitrant ones). Though I have a wonderful admin and support network of fellow teachers, our school system is not set up to handle the kinds of issues we have to deal with, leaving us teachers to go it alone (I seriously need an aide just for all the bureaucratic BS that comes with the job). I'm in this line of work because I love sharing my knowledge with others and I'm in it for the long haul, but it's probably the hardest, most poorly paid job I've ever worked when taking into account the circumstances and workload.
Teachers and professors should ALL have paid sabbaticals ❤️✏️✂️🖇️
That line "sitting on the couch eating chips and bingeing Supernatural" Dude! Get outta my head! 😂
It's taken me a long time to realize that my days where I do nothing but lie in bed all day aren't laziness, but depression. I literally can't seem to get motivated to do a thing. Don't get me wrong, the feel of the soft blanket and the naps can sometimes feel quite nice, but when nothing is done ALL DAY or all weekend, I realize it's a problem. I feel like I need a pry bar to get myself up. Sometimes I manage it. And I have TONS of projects to do, fun stuff, amazing stuff (I'm an artist and quite creative) but nope, still just lying in bed. So thank you for your advice, it IS how I try to get out of what's going on, when I make myself go do something, anything. It can often kick off a whole afternoon or evening of organizing and then I go to bed feeling accomplished. That "high" you were talking about.
I really relate to the "tons of projects to do, fun stuff" creative amazing stuff - still can't get up and do it. I'm a glass artist but haven't made anything in years. Love to refinish furniture, upholster, sew... nothing in a long time. I struggle now just with organization and keeping the house & yard tidy. Often have no energy to make a healthy dinner after work. But we have to keep trying!
After a crazy breakdown, my therapist helping me to recognize and start accepting that i have ptsd, bi-polar disorder, and clinical depression said this when i told him how everyone is telling me how to pull myself up by my bootstraps: "You can't. Your bootstraps are broken." Decades later, i now see why he encouraged me to do one small thing a day and to get out for tiny walks. Your vids are so spot on, enlighting and informative. And what a blessing your son is. Wishing you and yours the best.
As a note: your previous vids helped me get my kitchen clean and stay clean, the bathroom is under control with an amazingly clean(er) toilet, and gaining the will to continue work on other cleaning and organizing projects.
Using that phrase that way broke my brain 😅 The background to the phrase "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" is that it's literally impossible. Imagine trying to lift yourself up in the air by heaving on your shoelaces - you'd need to be able to levitate to accomplish it! We all need help from each other to get through.
@@ladysmith3988 😄
As someone with seasonal depression, these are great tips, moose are very dense and perfect for blocking out light. Bonus tip- once you complete a task no matter the size, look at yourself in the mirror and praise yourself. You deserve it for taking any steps towards helping future you.
As someone who deals with depression, anxiety, OCD and ADHD, this is inspiring. I had a small skincare business I had started myself and ran at farmers markets/festivals for 2 years. This year, I let the anxiety win and haven’t done anything with it, even though I was starting to build a following and people were beginning to recognize my brand.
In much fear and trembling, I’m realizing I may want to start that business again, if nothing else to help keep up the fight with anxiety and depression. Your values are more important, and sometimes it’s worth remembering that feelings aren’t your enemy-they are with acknowledging and listening to, and gently (gently is the key word here!) responding back with, “I see that, I hear what you’re saying, but I’m going to follow my values anyway.”
I had depression, anxiety, depersonalized dis order for more at least 50 years. I am now 68 and feel like I am 20!!! Those problems are pretty much gone. I feel Alive for the first time ( at least past five years). Everything feels real like it should 🤗 I cant really describe how it felt but I was just existing before. I wish every one reading this the Best!!
My heart goes out for you. My last depression episode, probably the worst I have ever had. I couldn't make myself do anything! I walked by dirty dishes and I would "you need to do those dishes" and myself would say back to me "No, I don't" I slept on my bed with no sheets for a couple of months. Just couldn't make myself. But the day I admitted out loud that I didn't care if I ever saw my son again,I got scared. Increased my depression medicine. Since that time, I have had a stroke and have kept a positive attitude because I can't afford to go by that dark place.
People can also use your videos for "body doubling" which is REALLY helpful FOR ADHD/ anxiety/ autism etc 🎉
Lol I just got to the part where you mention this 🤣🤣🤣
Oh my God, that bathroom is so beautiful. It made me cry how much effort you put into that, and how hard you worked just to hear your partner say Wow!. That's an incredible heart, and it really brought me to tears cause just seeing somone out there care this much for somone else fills me with hope for humanity. I really do wish I had a hand or someone who would do something kind like this for me. But even if I don't, I am still grateful to witness someone else does.
Hey Vitamin D! 😂I love the three foot idea. I’m helping a friend with her hoarded attic, 2nd floor , 1st floor and basement. I’m going to have her watch this video . Your work putting this video together is not in vain. It is going to help lots of people.
I've started watching movies while walking on my treadmill. I used to beat myself up to be "productive", rather than focus on feeling good. I have CPTSD from an OCPD stepmom who would devalue me while I was doing chores, like she was Mommie Dearest. So I essentially learned to hate myself while doing the right things. That has been a wild realization. Now it is lke I am teaching myself how to feel goodwhile doing things that are good for me.
Sooooo good. Podcasts are great too. 👍🏼🇬🇧
Ps. You aren’t alone. 🇬🇧
Depression includes rumination. I learned it’s ok to be sad about an event. It was when I continually rode a trolley about how my mum treated me, I knew the difference. ❤️🇬🇧
Stay Strong🌻⚘✌
Same here fam. Good job!! I tell myself these days "get at least 1 thing done today" and usually, it helps me do more ❤ best wishes!
Something that helps is just write down anything accomplished as it is completed. You do more than you realize. Gives you purpose and worth.
@@moon-moth1 That is such a great idea! I also like using a dynamic to-do list (e.g., Google Keep) where I can click & drag things around as priorities change each moment of the day. That way I'm only looking at one or two tasks at a time rather than a whole list.
I did this years ago while I was going through counseling. I called it my "Did It" list. I started out just listing what I had done. Soon I began recording things in two columns; the first was listing what I had done; the second was what that told me about myself. For example, "took mom to her doctor appointment"; "I'm a good, conscientious caregiver.". Or, "did three loads of laundry"; "I manage a household well.". Even though I am NOT known for managing a household well overall, I did do it well with that particular job. It really encouraged me and lifted my spirits. It helped me understand that I don't have to be perfect (or even close to perfect). I still get a surprising amount done, and all of it speaks well of me.😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️
I do this too…I call it my “Ta-Da” list and it’s so satisfying!
@Sierra28074 I like this. Thank you!!
Such an important subject. I agree cleaning someone’s home can do 2 things help with getting yourself out of your mind. And giving yourself accomplishment ❤
The real-life talk in your videos plus the added humor thrown in every 3 sentences or so, is everything 🙌
"Billy Madison your ass back to school and start over"...gosh I like you!!!
you will never know how much this one has helped me personally today. THANK YOU
You deserve to feel better 💖
@@jessieblair5316 Working on it
This is what I always tell people, "you have to fight or you're going to get worse."
At the very least, it's better to be depressed and do something for your future self than to lay there and do nothing for yourself. It will hurt. Depression physically hurts. Sometimes you have to do something anyway.
Yes, one step at a time.
Thanks for making these videos and voiceovers
my depression started in childhood with suicidal thoughts and self harm (very toxic mother-daughter relationship among other things). over half of my life i've dealt with those things so it's difficult to change. right now im not working, but im bit over 90% done (!!!) with my uni studies as i've went back to studying this spring. right now my daily goal is to wake up before 3pm, get up and eat something. as it is finally summer, i go to the balcony and sit in the sunshine. in that moment im grateful to be alive.
Yup. Yup. I found myself audibly agreeing with your commentary. I’m 75 now and a retired scientist. I love good research. I love confirmed facts. I have fought my depression all my life by being rather indignant that my own brain is lying to me. Hang in there, my friend.
“[Depression] is your bully to fight, but it doesn’t mean you can’t bring a friend to the brawl.”
This is so perfectly said ❤❤❤❤
The way you love your wife enough to get stuff she will like for decor makes me have hope
That makes so much sense as to why I throw myself into creating paintings for the people I care about the most, during the holidays. I’m starting to shift what I do for others to myself, now. I’m teaching myself how to oil paint.
My depression battle today was to turn on this video. It was hard, I didn’t want lights or sounds or to get up and get my iPad, I wanted to lay there for the next three hours. But I knew about the “do the opposite” concept, so I found this video and turned it on. I’m so happy I did, thank you for sharing! With the video on, I found that I still wanted to lie there, but I also kind of wanted to make food, since I’m in the habit of watching something to make food prep easier… so I made a simple meal. I appreciate you fighting not just your depression, but helping everyone else fight theirs, too. ❤
I wish everyone suffering from depression/autism, etc. would watch your channel. It's so different, but so understanding and you give people really helpful tools to deal with it...and get a cleaned up household in the process. THANKS!
This is a life changing video for me. I don’t know you, but you have a friend in me for life. I have chronic pain and a mystery disease doctors can’t even figure out. My life is honestly hell.
I don't know why it took me this long to figure it out, but I realized that one of the most devastating things an ex did while I was with him was turning all my victories into failures. He even told me I needed a "win" but whenever I had a small "win" it wasn't good enough for him. I struggled with cleaning and organizing before living with this guy, but he certainly didn't help. I constantly felt worthless.
I'm still healing not just from that dumpster fire, but from a lifetime of undiagnosed ADHD. This video has helped. Thanks 😺.
I love how much you advocate for mental health. You show such kindness and compassion towards the subject. Thank you
He’s a Blessing for sure!👍
I love your videos but sometimes I think you missed your calling. You are so inciteful regarding depression, I think you could have been a great psychologist. On the other hand, I know you’re helping thousands of people through your videos!!!! I know you’re helping me to understand and help my son. Thank you! 💕
I would absolutely like to recommend testing for adhd (depression and anxiety tend to co-occur) but if you find yourself regularly going through cycles, even with no trigger, adhd may be that core issue. Now later hearing about the autism, it's Executive dysfunction, which then spirals into depression and autistic burnout/ shutdown. You might want to look into adhd stimulant medication and learning various coping skills available (im also audhd, mental health counselor, and used to have a professional cleaner and organizer business once upon a time) daily down time is SO important for our mental, emotional and physical health. Wishing you so much love ❤️
You have said some things that are extremely important! Depression is hard - hard to have and hard to understand - you’re correct, empathy is key!
As someone who has bipolar disorder and suffered with depression my entire life. I understand where you are coming from. I am a woman and I actually feel the depression more like you. I shut down and isolate. I don't want to do anything but I force myself to do something. I just went through a major, life changing event that was extremely traumatic and am dealing with depression right now. I am working hard every day to push myself to do a little more than I did the day before. And CONGRATULATIONS on being a grandparent!
Keep going ❤️
@@Authorthings Thanks. Encouragement is always helpful.
Thank you. Wonderful inspiration for me. My 85 year old husband, took a tumble early in the week. Broke his hip. He is now in temporary rehab. I woke up to this. I turned my attitude into towards, Oh I can approach my depression in a totally different situation. I will but this on a play list. I will watch and listen to this over and over.
Depression, adhd,ptsd,and autism, seems to all go hand in hand, for some people. I started watching your channel for helping me organize, clean, then I realized it turned into much more of a helpful channel, not only about hdhd, and cleaning. ❤ ❤ 👊
In tears listening as this is describing what I feel, my house is a mess and I can't get into the zone to clean it, and when I look at it, I get more ashamed of it and more anxious and depressed that I can't do it, physically and mentally. Very well described. Giving me ideas how to get the foot on the floor!
May I suggest if you can’t manage a 3x3 foot space, start with 1x1. I find every little win helps.
Mack, I am very impressed by your braveness. I deal with cancer + chemo for almost 7 years and I am chronically exhausted. What you describe about your attitude towards life looks like mine: no matter what, I have to go out of the bed and give myself a goal in life.
So nice that despite your struggles Mack you thought of Emily first and worked to makeover your home while she was away. What a loving thing and how exciting for her after having her medical challenges this last year. Much respect.
That was one of the most touching examples of showing your partner you love them that I've ever seen!
🎉 you hit it out of the park on this one, Mack. Your ability to communicate and educate about very tough subjects - while still finding humor - is remarkable. My grandmother always said she liked cleaning b/c she could ‘see where she’d been’.
Thanks for your continued content.
This is the best explanation of depression I’ve ever heard as someone who fights depression in the same way!!
It was unbiased, gentle, kind, and informative!
Thank you. Thank you.
My daily projects are: one load of washing, run the dishwasher or empty it, change a pillow case or a towel, declutter one thing, throw out a piece of rubbish, sweep or vacuum one room, sew, knit or crochet. A little each day feels good and accumulates into a lot.
What works best for me is to start very small tasks as you suggested.
Many years ago when my depression was extremely bad, the bathroom mirror might be one of my tasks and that would be it. Later I would go back and do the bathroom sink, later yet, I would do the counter...
Now I can do the sink, counter, & mirror in one go, toilet, floor, & trash in another. I'm really glad you put this video up because it makes me look back to when I was actually doing worse and encourages me that I am capable of more now, as little as that might be.
A few minutes into this video, it kicked my butt into gear and I got a little bit done. After resting for a bit, I got up and did the dishes and made myself some eggs.
I know that I feel better once I get started. The hardest step is the first one. Once I get on a roll, every time I get up to go to the bathroom, I do a small task.
The problem I'm having now, is when I have two or three days like that, I end up burnt out and unable to do anything. I often don't recognize my limits, just as I don't recognize the symptoms & signs of a decline. Having gone through a few courses through mental health organizations, I've started to recognize WHAT the signs are, but I still do not see them when I'm in it until it's too late. I've asked people around me to let me know when they see me having those symptoms, but no one does. Does anyone have any suggestions for that?
Also, I knew in the past that you struggled with autism, but not with depression and anxiety which is what I deal with. Seeing today that you also struggle with that on top of the other one is what kicked me into gear today. Thank you for this & all that you do! Also, thank you for the reminder to be patient and compassionate with others. It can't be said enough.
BOOM! Mac: “Situations Do Not Dictate Outcomes.” Yes! Please FIGHT like your life depends on it because it truly does. ❤
22+ yrs in nursing & this is such an excellent educational video. I've always gone with those who endure an illness or disease are almost always the expert on it. Of course there are times when it doesn't apply, but I not only listen to my patients, I actually hear & learn from them too.
This video should be recognised more. It deserves the attention as it's very educational and may help vast amount of poeple.
Fighting depression is such a well-put phrase. A lot of advice for mentally ill people comes down to letting yourself rest but for I think it's prone to misinterpretation and while watching this video I had an epiphany that sleeping 12h every day is not really working out for me. Thanks
I set a 15 minute timer and clean when I feel like life is too hard. I also watch your videos ,other cleaning or hoarders to motivate myself to set the timer. Most times I hit repeat but it helps me get up and forces me to start. You are enough and you are valuable. Thanks for posting!!
What I've learned from this video is that I'm a depressed man. 😂 Seriously though...when I'm at work (I'm a nurse), I'm full steam ahead managing patient care, physician orders, telephones, med refills, emergencies, etc. When I get home, it's a STRUGGLE to do anything. I clean and do meal prep on Saturdays wearing a nightie and apron because I'm too exhausted to shower and get dressed. I go visit my mother on Sundays and sometimes the panic attacks and fatigue are nearly debilitating. It's like the work "me" and the at home "me" are two different people. When I'm struggling at home, I have to remind myself that the other "me" is a full on cyclone of energy. Maybe I'm just tired at the end of the work week. Either way...I do get my cooking and cleaning done. I take naps. I get as much rest as possible. I just do it all in a nightie and apron....and pray that no one comes over on Saturdays. I shower and get dressed on Sundays and go to my mother's and fake it til I make it. On Monday, I'm back to my work self. It:s very confusing.
You have made my old Pagan heart so happy with these decorations. The rooms look lovely. Thanks for sharing your experience with depression. It helps so many of us, we do not feel so alone.
My mom is 70 and gardening keeps her going. During winter I came over and she was visibly depressed because of no gardening. She is in the garden most of the day, has a lot of flowers, vegetables and berries. Some people tell her to just go live in the apartment because it's less work but she wants to work.
I have someone who is very similar. Her garden is her life and she also gets seasonal depression in winter. We've been working on Turing a room or two into indoor gardens. Lots of grow lights, container plants, little mini zen garden, Terrariums. I think it is helping her stay busy and happy in the winter
Making a terrarium is a brilliant idea.
Awe. Your mom is blessed to have you.
I, too, suffer from depression. Sometimes I have to say to myself, “ Ok, just go put in one load of laundry “ or “just go wash ten dishes then you can stop “. But, like you said, you just gotta get up & move a little. Baby steps are key. Doing some small productive job, calling or talking to someone you love, playing music, or watching one of your videos, that’s the way to help pull yourself out of it. Your advice is great❣️❣️
My best friend lives 14 hours away. We both suffer from depression and we both have a hard time staying motivated to declutter and clean. We use a technique called "Twinning". One of us will video call the other and say "Get your butt off the couch! We need to do the dishes right now!" We put in our earbuds and do a 'video of shame' to send to the other. We can talk to each other and glance at each on the video. The game is to see how much you can clean or declutter while we're talking. It's so fun. We get to talk and joke while we silently motivate each other. It makes us clean more because we have a rule that if we're talking, we must do something constructive at the same time. Try it with a friend.
The hardest thing that I worked at for a very long time in therapy was getting out of bed. I used to stay in bed and ruminate and spiral for hours. I can't tell you how long it took for me to start getting up when my alarm rang. I literally needed professional help to do it. But now, I can't stand to stay in bed at all. It gives me a headache. I'm grateful for my inability to sleep in because it really cuts down on those negative thoughts. That one change changed everything for me.