Mixed Emotions From Guilt to Relief: How to Handle Being Pregnant and Anxious | Dr Lora Shahine
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- čas přidán 18. 11. 2021
- Pregnancy after miscarriage can be a tough time for many, and this video is here to help. You'll be given compassionate advice on honoring your emotions, seeking counselors and therapists, finding support groups, taking care of yourself during this emotional time, and must-read books to learn more.
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ABOUT : Lora Shahine, MD, FACOG is a reproductive endocrinologist, founder of the Center for Recurrent Pregnancy Loss at Pacific NW Fertility, and Associate Clinical Professor in the OBGYN Department at the University of Washington in Seattle. Dr. Shahine contributes to the fields of infertility and miscarriage with clinical research, writing, speaking, and educating in peer-reviewed journals, her own books and textbook chapters, and many forms of media including an active social media presence.
DISCLAIMER: The content contained herein is provided for informational and/or entertainment purposes only and not intended as a substitute for advice provided by a healthcare professional. Use the provided information at your own risk. If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem, please contact your health care provider.
#drlorashahine #miscarriage #earlymiscarriage
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This is all so true. Thank you for sharing.
Sitting in the waiting room alone, surrounded by happy pregnant woment, after finding out my baby had died was so hard. Clinics need a separate room for mothers experiencing a loss.
I am so very sorry for your loss - agree with your recommendation 💯
I also agree with your comment. I was sitting at my obgyn office for a follow-up appt 2 weeks after a d&c procedure for my loss. & was trying not to cry & sob while watching all the pregnant women walking by. Another women walked out from having an ultrasound sound done with her husband by her side, smiling and laughing holding their photos from the ultrasound, they just found out the gender. I felt like crap. Definitely emotionally hard. Wish they had a seperate waiting area.
Thank you for making this video. I'm 7 weeks pregnant after 4 miscarriages (2 from IVF) and I have never seen another video that so accurately describes everything I've been through. The part about you making the phone call to the patient especially stood out to me because just WHY don't OBGYNs and their staff get better training on things like this? There's nothing that angers me more than someone telling me congratulations at a positive pregnancy test. I don't want to hear congratulations, especially not when my numbers are already low or I'm at the OB's office to track them down to negative. Even when I haven't lost the pregnancy yet, there is nothing to congratulate because a positive pregnancy test means absolutely nothing. Please just tell me my numbers, ask if I have questions, tell me what the next steps are, maybe ask how I'm feeling if you want, and well wishes are always appreciated. But a blanket congratulations just feels like a mockery. It feels dismissive of how difficult it is to keep a pregnancy. It assumes that a pregnancy is something that leads somewhere, and not just a disappearing second line on a test followed by a period soon thereafter. It feels like whoever says it is coming from such a privileged and sheltered place to be able to say something like that. I'm glad you were self-aware enough to have recognized the situation on your own, but I wish it were a more systematic part of every provider's (and their assistants' and nurses' and even administrative staff's) training.
I pray everything turns out okay with you and your baby! I’m 3 weeks pregnant now after a miscarriage and it definitely is hard looking forward to something that isn’t guaranteed . I pray that you get to meet your baby this year ❤
I’m saddened to realize I didn’t understand at all the fear my daughter was going through. I had three successful pregnancies and live births. A miscarriage or stillbirth was never even a fear of mine.
I took it for granted that she would too. But she could feel something was wrong the whole time and just wanted people to recognize that she knew something was wrong even as she was finding reasons not to be scared.
It didn’t occur to me what she would be going through if she lost the baby. She was 1500 miles away and so scared and alone. I will never take someone’s pregnancy for granted or how devastating a miscarriage is.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending love to you, your daughter, and your family❤️
We lost our daughter on the 18th week and are currently pregnant again (13th week). I sobbed and nodded through out the first half of this video. Every appointment I go expecting them to say my baby is dead. It's so hard to find joy again. Mostly I just try to take care and distract myself until the next appointment.
May, I'm so sorry for you loss. No parent should ever have to go through that kind of pain.
I'm pregnant again after a 40 week stillbirth out of the blue and this is so relevant. I check for blood every time and I'm almost 30 weeks 😬 The anxiety just doesn't stop
I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending you so much love.
@@drlorashahine Thank you so much ❤️
How are you doing now?
How are you doing now? I hope you all the best and good health
@@menomeno69 Thank you! We're doing great, my son is 3 months and he's super healthy ❤️
Thank you for validating my feelings. Going through one and its tough to face the world after it. Praying for everyone struggling from infertility/miscarriage ptsd🙏🌈
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️❤️
I watched this video while I cried with every sentence you said. I remembered the day when my husband and I went for a check on ultrasound. It was week 19. We were so excited to see the baby's movements. But suddenly the doctor said that the heart is not beatting 😭. I won't forget the moment I experienced, and the days after that..
I'm so sorry for what you both went through!
Yeah I was so excited when I first found out I was pregnant, had sickness and finally went to my first apt at 9 weeks to find out it was going to be a missed miscarriage. Then I bleed so badly I was hospitalized. The. A few weeks of bleeding I got an infection and was hospitalized again. And now, 6 months of ttc and nothing. It’s so surreal, it’s like it never happened.
💔 I am so sorry for your loss and traumatic recovery. Consider consult with a hematologist ?bleeding disorder and trauma recovery emotional support❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I went for my 18th week Dr appointment on the 24th February and was told there's no heartbeat. I'm still hurting from that. That's 2 in a row. Last year I was supposed to be 8 weeks and baby stopped growing at 8 weeks which end up in a miscarriage. I'm so happy I came across your video. I'm still hurting especially when I see a pregnant person knowing I should be pregnant too, sometimes I still want to continue purchasing baby stuff maybe thinking it will remove my mind on losing my baby. I was feeling so confused until I came across your video.
Hi Vickey. I'm so sorry for your loss. I truly empathize with you. I hope my video was of help. I really appreciate you for watching.
This is really comforting. I miscarried in December and trying again. I know I will be feeling this was after such a traumatic experience with my first pregnancy. Hopeful for all of those mamas out there who are trying!
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for watching, I'm glad this video was of some comfort.
I just ordered both books. I've been wanting books similar to these but I've been overwhelmed with the options available. I miscarried last year at 11 weeks but I think my baby died at 6 weeks. In March I had a chemical pregnancy. I just found out I'm a little over 4 weeks. It's quite torturous to be pregnant. There is the battle of, will I trust God once more no matter the outcome? God tells us not to fear. It sure is hard not to when you've gone through the heart break and physical pain. Thank you for your compassion and for sharing. I wish we had doctors in our area that were like you. Unfortunately, finding a Dr who cares these days is hard.
I am so very sorry for your losses. Best wishes to you.
Well said. wishing you a peaceful pregnancy 🙏
Congratulations hun..I pray you have a healthy pregnancy n healthy baby...🤰❤🙏
@MooreBasics
I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks but the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks as well. And I am currently going through a chemical pregnancy 2 months after that. We’ll try again next cicle. If you feel comfortable, could you share an update on your third pregnancy? Hope all is well! God bless you!
@SXYCRO2010 So sorry to hear this. The 3rd pregnancy was ectopic and I almost died. That was 6 months ago. I haven't been pregnant since.
This video was so validating, thank you Dr. Shahine. I’m also reading Not Broken and that has been a helpful practical resource. I just had my D&C and now trying to move forward physically and emotionally. Even when you think you are prepared for a negative outcome you cannot possibly fathom how it feels until you go through it yourself. Now I’m terrified of both not being able to conceive again and also conceiving but having bad anxiety for 9 months worrying about what could happen. But I found some comfort in this video ❤
I lost my baby boy 12 days ago after delivering him at 18w3d due to Incompetent Cervix. I didn’t get a d&c and I’m still having minimal bleeding. It’s truly a mental and physical struggle. I struggled with infertility off and on for years as I tried to conceive starting at age 20. After losing almost 100lbs I finally conceived naturally at 37 and this was my first ever pregnancy. I told myself the day I got the positive test that either way it goes I am happy to have conceive and would be grateful even if I didn’t make it. It was kinda like I knew it was too good to be true at the onset as sad as that sounds. I went in to have a heavy bleeding situation at 7w and it was at that moment that I knew I probably wouldn’t be ok if anything happened. I made it to 12w and was ecstatic because I’d beat the odds of when most miscarriages happens but was still on edge because I knew if anything happened my baby wasn’t yet at viability and my sister had PProm at around 21 weeks. Basically now I feel so empty and and wondering if it will take forever to happen again, time I don’t have since I’m 38 and if it does I know I’m going to be even more terrified the whole way through. No one talks about the terror that is pregnancy only the joy… don’t get me wrong that joy is undeniably the best feeling ever but the terror is real. Good luck to all mamas trying again after loss or currently going through a loss. We can do this!
Thank you. It is very hard. I feel like I always think that the next milestone will put me at ease and then get disappointed when that doesn't happen. It is so difficult not knowing day to day if everything is still ok.
We have a two year old at home and I lost my son at my second ultrasound around 11 weeks. We've been trying for approximately 7-8 months now since the loss, and it has been very tough. I just had an HSG procedure today and got both of my tubes unblocked due to endometreosis. I feel a little hope now, and just hoping that this is it. ♥Although I have some new hope, I'm very nervous for what is to come.
Best wishes to all of the mamas on here trying to conceive! 🌈
Sending you so much love
This video really hits home for me. At my 19 week anatomy scan, we found out there was no longer a heartbeat and also that I had a complete previa. My dr had to call around to some MFMs and I was given the option to drive either 4 hours to Boise, ID or 6 hours to OHSU for a D&E. We chose Boise because it was closer but wish we hadn't. I was required to sign paperwork for the medication saying I was inducing an abortion. The whole experience was very surgical and very traumatizing. That dr left the state soon after due to the political climate. I just found out I am pregnant again which has given me sooo much anxiety. My therapist has also diagnosed me with ptsd. I appreciate your acknowledgement on this issue. I will check out those books. ❤
Sending you so much love and support.
You are so graceful and a blessing! I miscarried in my eleventh week 3 months ago and will start IUI next week, but I am so worried. Thank you for making these free, but so valuable, educational videos available to us.
I'm so sorry for your loss Bettina. Thank you so much for your kind words. You got this!!
This was super comforting. Thank you!
You're so welcome!
This was the most helpful and heartfelt video I watched on this topic. Thank you ❤️
You are so welcome!
Thank you. It's nice to be seen.
Thank you sooo much for this ❤️❤️❤️ it really hit home.
❤️❤️❤️
Hi Dr. Shahine,
I did not know I needed to hear this video. As it put's into words, all my emotions with my infertility. I had two ectopic pregnancies. The first one, I got pregnant naturally, I was not even aware I was pregnant until it ruptured. I hemorrhage for hours, until my husband and I called an ambulance. The second time, I did the IUI process three times, and the last was a charm. I got pregnant, I was so excited, but it was discovered it was an ectopic pregnancy in my first ultra sound. After all this, I had my first biopsy, and it was discovered I have endometriosis. Now I am trying IVF and I am so happy and so scared at the same time. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS VIDEO!!! I cried watching it, but I am so glad you made it.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so sorry to for your losses💔💔. Best wishes to you!!
Wonderful video! THANK YOU!
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Please let me know if there’s any other topics you’d like me to cover.
Thank you so so much for sharing this video. So spot on for me :/
You are so welcome
This made me cry more 😢😅your every word is what I felt. It’s painful
I'm so sorry! But thank you so much for watching
Thank you for this video i had a miscarriage 2 years ago for the fist time and had to get surgery I'm still not over it crying and angry at myself i want to seek therapy
Scrolling through videos i can relate. A chemical pregnancy in February and after having 2 ultrasounds where everything was normal and hearing the hearts beat twice at 6 weeks and 8 weeks at my 9 week appointment there was no heartbeat and went through a miscarriage not even a week later. Finding a therapist its hard when you keep things normally to yourself. How do you even approach therapy?
My previous pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage. I just found out that I am currently pregnant at about 5 weeks. I'm absolutely terrified to be happy and dreading that first ultrasound at 9 weeks. It was at an ultrasound appointment where I found out about the missed miscarriage and I'm trying so hard to stay positive. The fear and anxiety are overwhelming and I have a therapy appointment on the books, but geez this is one heck of an emotional rollercoaster.
I'm so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your experience with us. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you all the best on your journey. Thank you for watching.
@@drlorashahine Unfortunately, I miscarried again.
@@eamsee657have you any prblm in your blood report plz reply?
@@kajalpandey4717 I never made it that far. I miscarried a week later at 6 weeks spontaneously at home. I am currently pregnant again at 10 weeks, so we'll see.
@@eamsee657 ❤️
It's been 5 yrs since I had a miscarriage, I was 4 weeks 😢. I don't think Ive been able to grieve properly and haven't had the support I needed and wanted. Trying to live life everyday and move on from the lost but when I'm reminded just sitting alone. I'm hurting all over again like it was yesterday.
This make me cry 😢 I wish every woman get what she really want ❤
I wish for that too! Thank you for watching!
I am pregnant after 14 years of 1 stillbirth, 7 miscarriages and 3 failed ART. I am so glad I found your video because I have been so scared since I got a positive pregnancy test result last weekend. I have been so so terrified
Hi Doc, I recently had a missed miscarriage in December of 2023. I found out I was pregnant again in February 2024. Went for ultrasound on the 15 and found out I’m 5W 6D. Everything was seen except the heart beat.. I’m extremely nervous and to make it worse I have no pregnancy symptoms no sore boobs NOTHING! I’m trying to stay positive I just don’t want to give my hopes up. Is it normal not to see heart beat at this stage?
I’m pregnant again after loosing my pregnancy at 6 weeks in March. I felt so happy at first but now I’m so anxious. We decided not to tell anyone until later, because last time we told the family very early on and it was devastating. But I just feel like I’m loosing my mind. Very scared. I feel like it’s gonna ruin me this time if it goes bad.
I am so sorry for your loss 🫂❤️ I'm wishing you all the success during your pregnancy ❤️
@@drlorashahine lost it unfortunately. But thank you for your kind words. 🩷
I’m 6 weeks and 1 day today I started passing clots and bled for two days this past mon n Tuesday and after wed I am barely spotting and my hcg levels doubled I thought I miscarried but I go for a prenatal appt this coming wed I can’t wait I had a miscarriage this past April and I am absolutely horrified it def took the joy away. I leave it in gods hands but I still worry Ty for this video
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best on your journey. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
After 8 Ivfs I fell pregnant.Last week at 16 weeks I had a mis miscarriage. Thank you for this video.
Sorry to hear that
I had a missed carriage just before Xmas...first I did not even grasp what I was told, it took a couple of minutes to comprehend what I was told... I was all by myself...and when I left the room, I saw happy pregnant women.
I still struggle with this loss...guilt, losing a dream (I've always wanted to have children...since I myself was a kid), the thoughts of not being able to fulfill what my body was meant to do and so many other thoughts
🙏🏽
As a mother it is so brutal not being able to comfort our daughter who is on an infertility journey with two pregnancy losses. In a way I feel I have lost a daughter as she pushes me away in her self care and grief. Any advice? We send flowers, make meals, but she does not pick up the phone calls and does not reach out. This is isolating for her and her family.
My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are gently letting her know that you care and you are there to help when she's ready. Its all grief and grief comes with all the emotions and coping strategies - even isolation for time to heal. I did write a book specially for people to give their loved ones with miscarriage - it's 'Not Broken Illustrated: A Gift' - it helps loved ones who struggle to find the 'right words' - that doesn't sound like exactly what you need but sharing in case. Take care.
Thank you! I have a 2 year old son. I am pregnant again. I had a miscarriage in January I was 8 weeks. I’m trying so hard not to worry and have anxiety. Every time I have a cramp I get paranoid. I remember my first pregnancy with my son I had no doubts. I wish I could feel the same way for this one. Thank you for the tools and everything you said. I don’t feel alone.
I really hope full thank you
Keep the hope alive Goku!
Thank you that helped a lot. I miscarried at 13 weeks back in October, and It was traumatic, so much bleeding and had to have ops. I found out I was pregnant yesterday at a scan for another problem I had and I had no idea and it's about 5-6weeks now. I saw the tiny heartbeat which I didn't get to see the first time round and I can't get it out of my head but I so terrified.... Iv never been so scared about anything in life 😭 x
I'm so sorry for the loss you went through! I wish you all the best on your journey.
I lost my baby last week. It was horrifying. I'm either sleeping or crying, everything feels difficult. My mother in law had a stroke in Jan and died in Feb. Found out pregnant beginning of March and went to tell my parents about the baby. My mum collapsed that same day and found out she has a massive brain tumour. Now in April I've lost my baby. I'm heartbroken. Everything is going wrong, I'm to scared to try again.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so common to be nervous about trying again. Please find support and try when you’re ready❤️
After my CM at 5 wks, i am ttc for 5month now and its negative. Im tracking my ovulation and cycles, and doing everything right during the fertility window. I don't know whats happening, i use to get pregnant withtin the month of trying, since the miscarriage in June something probably happened inside.
I am so sorry for your loss. I would advise you to consult your medical provider, as I can't give medical advice to personal situations on social media.
Can glucose drink my cause miscarriage
I'm expecting after 2 miscarriages about 7 week
No nausea vomiting sometimes acidity
No pain and any other symptoms
Im active in household like cooking
No mood swings is it okay?
Im relax and less anxious.? Kindly tell dr lora
Ive been trying to get pregnant for 2.5 years since my miscarriage. Im hoping losing more weight will help. It makes me so depressed.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you ❤️. I hope you’re gentle with yourself about weight - people can be fertile at different weights and we can be very hard on ourselves with miscarriage and weight - listen to my Baby or Bust fertility podcast episode with Dr. Stephanie Fein for more info ❤️❤️
We lost our first and only baby last week at 10weeks due to a missed miscarriage…We’re so broken about.
I am so very sorry for your loss - it's heart breaking! Sending you best wishes
We’re pregnant again just found out today. Let’s hope this one sticks this time, what are the chances of it being successful after our recent lost last month?
@@loveobviously every pregnancy is a new opportunity! Chances of miscarriage are approximately 1 in 4 clinically recognized pregnancies.❤️
@@loveobviously please help me out. ..after how many months did you try again
@@loveobviously hi i am excited for you guys and wishing u the best! Can i ask you if you were trying right after? I also had a miscarriage may 31st and just got my first period after my miscarriage.
I had a miscarriage 4 months ago just test positive with my rainbow baby I’m happy but I’m so nervous
I am so sorry for your loss! I wish you all the best on your beautiful journey ❤️
I hope all it well! I wondered where did you find the
strength to even try again? If there any left so I can grab some ((
I wondered HOW the heck do women find the strength and courage to even try to get pregnant again? What kind of help did you have? I only had an early miscarriage and I literally think as a fact that if I try again that will NO DOUBT end even worse. I am ready to just say I chose to never try but it feels wrong. Torn apart.
This is exactly my thoughts/feelings. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏽
Recently miscarried in February right before 12wks with my first pregnancy and while I want and would love to have a child I'm afraid to hope/try again as I'm in my early 40s. It's definitely a gut-wrenching loss
I'm so sorry for your loss 🫂❤️
@@drlorashahine Thank you! ❤️
Omg she just described me 😢 2 miscarriage and this March, we will try again .. I'm so scare
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️
I f I see your program I have hope
I had a miscarriage in December 2023. Now again I am trying to conceive. Its very difficult. Emotionally tiring.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️❤️
Sis pregnancy hui apko?
I had two miscarriages it is so disappointing 😢and now I’m trying to get pregnant again .😞
I am so very sorry 💔💔 every pregnancy is a new opportunity
I had two miscarriages wthin 6 months.i m afraid too much
I am so sorry for your loss 🫂 I have resources I share with my patients. See my website drlorashahine.com for links to
1. My book ‘Not Broken: An approachable guide to miscarriage and recurrent pregnancy loss’ at amazon.com
2. CZcams videos on the topic
4. My blog posts
Hope these resources help! Best wishes ❤️🤞🍍
Wow thanks, no matter if you’re 40 or whatever, after reading Dobbie Nerkstrol's guide, I ended up pleasantly surprised. Within 60 days anyone can get pregnant, feeling the changes in your body the first few weeks. After go’ogling her I understood it's not a miracle kind of thing like the title suggests, but you can bet you'll boost your chances.