People Without Children Have NO IDEA What It's Like! | Michael McIntyre
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2019
- When you have children you’ll never leave the house, go out for dinner, drive or sleep the same way ever again!
Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/
Facebook: / themichaelmcintyre
Twitter: @McInTweet
#MichaelMcIntyre #Parenting #ComedyRoadshow - Komedie
"Where's Ozzy?"
"He's by the front door."
"He's never been there in his life!"
I didn't even know who Michael was until recently (I'm in Australia) but I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Another line I lost it over was the good night, good luck lol lmao
🤣🤣🤣
@@CovidConQuitTheCensorship same I'm also live in Australia and didn't know who he was
@Lucy time - yeah so where have we been, under a rock? 😂
😂😂
His bangs frantically shaking over his forehead explains everything
Hehe are you american?
@@BrianLloyd1991 lol what's made you think she's american?
@@ordainedhughes1388 just the use of the words bangs, im aware americans use that term
@@BrianLloyd1991 ah
In the UK we use the term fringe.
My father mastered a very important skill. He learned to handle the steering wheel with one hand, while he reached down and removed a shoe with the other hand. Then, while keeping his eyes on the road, he was able to reach back with the shoe and smack the two quarreling kids in the backseat. This is mastery level fatherhood. He had been a pilot for the Canadian Navy, flying sub killers on and off of aircraft carriers. So he had jet pilot trained reflexes. Don't attempt this maneuver unless you've passed flight school.
(Helplessly ROTFLing here) Simply hitting the "Like" button is soooo inadequate for your comment. You richly deserve a lifetime membership of the internet.
Why I find this comment very funny? 😆😆
That's awesome! I can barely change the radio station without veering into oncoming traffic.
Jakub Gdaniec you’re a douche
But how do flying skills help with removing your shoe to hit your kids? Do they teach you that at the Navy??
""all 4 of us had our heads out the window"" 😂😂😂hahahaah
I'd never have that problem: i'd make sure the vehicle had power windows... And a window lock button.
Love that 😂😂😂😂😂😂
It starts out a fight to get them to bed. Then teen years hit and you can’t get them out of bed. I have white hairs for a reason.
Of course 😂😂😂😂😂
i'm an Italian teen, and i can verify this, although there is a lot more swearing involved since me and my parents are Italian! tanto amore dall'Italia
That laugh...... that is the laugh of a broken man
😂😂
You mean 5:20, right? 🤣🤣
Can totally relate to the not sleeping too.. I haven't slept soundly or at all really in 4 years..
Ahaaaaaaaaaaaa! I’m ashamed that I’m laughing at his brokenness! NAAAAHHHH
@@tuononnovainbici 5:22
Painfully hilarious because it's relatable. And I'm just an aunt, I can't imagine how much harder it is for parents. 😭😭😭😭
Asha Ell I’m the same with being an uncle, my nieces can be so annoying with their shoes 🙄😂
Asha Ell I must admit I didn’t laugh! Too close to the bone. I have five children.
no..being a parent is amazing.
andrew clavin I’m with you, mate. They push you to the limit as often as they can.... BUT the good times make up for it. It might be a nightmare getting them out the door and you might not get those nice posh date nights anymore, but watching them develop from a totally helpless baby into a little person is simply unbelievable. I love being a father. Nobody can make me laugh like my boys. They are amazing.
I love being an aunt, but I could never be a parent
I love this man's humor, he describes my children as if he has met them and experienced their terror lol
Nah, I think he's been emailing with my parents... 😂😂😂
Ditto! Lol
That's more horrifying than funny
Lady Grey, 9 months later, please share with us..boy or girl?❤
Love his work 😂😂😂😂😂
As long as they're small enough, if they aren't going out the door, scoop them up over the shoulder or American football style under the arm.
LOL......That doesn't always work.....because usually if you do that, they get REALLY mad and start throwing a fit, and refuse to sit in their car seat....they literally stiffen their little bodies into a straight line, so there's no way to actually buckle them in .....so sometimes it a choice a fight to get out the door, or a fight to sit and get buckled into the carseat.....aw....the joys of Parenthood :):)
@@freehappy6019 I know kids. I'm aware. Getting out the door is the hard part, after that it's just a matter of gently pushing the back of their knees with your fingers and then they bend long enough for you to clip them in. It takes practice, but it's possible.
"American football style "😂😂😂😂😂
@@mikeylikesit525gently pushing the backs of the knees........ Stop giving away secrets 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
YUP.
I had to laugh at “leaving the house “. I remember when my five kids were all six and under. I realized we were out of bread. I also realized it would be easier to make bread than to go to the store with all my kids. So I did.
With that said, there’s also a lot of wonderful parts of parenting. Mine are all older now and it’s such fun.
Five kids all six and under 😮 you have been through a lot. I have 3 kids they were once all 4 and under. God bless mothers
I just have 1, so it's still pretty easy to get to the shops for food. Especially because I'm a 5 Min walk from the shops and i can just pop him in the pram and walk. But I can imagine it being 5x harder with 5x as many XD😅
@@sihemlazaar6450 eww
😂😂😂😂😂
@@sihemlazaar6450you are hero’s.😊❤
Once we were at the park and my son didnt want to leave. We all went to the car except my son. My husband hid behind another car and told me to get in the car and drive to the stop sign while he hid and watch out son. When my son saw the car actually leaving, he ran SOO FAST screaming "nooooooo". 😂 then my husband came out of his hiding spot and grabbed him. We called his bluff and felt sooo good about it
=( that is terrible!!!
@@TJ-kz1ul No it's not 😂
@@TJ-kz1ul It's one of the ways to get children to listen to you, as they still don't know how to really behave
My mom still does that.
@@TJ-kz1ul its only terrible if the kid is actually in danger. Sometimes they have to learn there are consequences.
Lmao, I’m 21 and I’m the second eldest out of 6 children. My eldest sister (27) has gone on to have her third child now and the youngest of my siblings is 4, second youngest is 8 and then 13 and 14. At one point, we were all living together, including my aunt and her two kids and I was stuck looking after kids every single day.
I now have my own QUIET PEACEFUL home all to myself.
I do not want another child near me again.
Ruu Darling oh man, that sounds annoying xD. I hope you get your peace someday.
Free atlast!
just a few years
@@user-wq9mw2xz3j you're wrong indeed.
Ruu Darling best of luck to you
The satisfaction you get watching this as a single man with no children is un-measurable! 😂
The hairdo really adds to the routine
It really does
Yesss😂😂😂😂😂😂
He's NEVER BEEN THERE IN HiS LIFE! 😆
A.k.a front door 😂😂😂😂
IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING YOU IDIOT GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!!
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Yessss😂😂😂😂😂
So true love his comedy😊. Currently being beat up by my 6 yr old who snuck in my bed and is wind milling smacking me and has his head dug in my spine whilst being dead asleep and screaming no, in a dream just like he does in real life. I love him soo much and they look like Angel's when they are asleep, till they slap you in the face and knock you out your bed 😂
Lol he would be so easy to stab then digest
Tapapa playz Pug wtf
@@fruitvio4160 well that escalated quickly
So why are you on youtube in bed? No wonder he's hitting you.
@@stefencampbell W.T.H.
good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor
Teachers468 hunger games fan?
I think we are losing here it's 4:2 the kids are winning
The Hunger Games!
You toooooo🎉🎉🎉🎉
Sometimes I just come listen to this when it's been a really hard day with the kids. Love him!
Beautiful 😂😂😂😂😂
People who don’t have children know EXACTLY what it’s like... which is why they don’t have them!
Amen
😂😂😂
I’m one of them . Love life without this burden
Most are barren but pretend they dnt want them..we all know.
@@user-zm9yc2kb8x You're clearly "barren" of any common decency.
Every time a stand up comedian talks about their kids, it reinforces my decision to remain child-free😂
Same thing hahaha hilariously terrifying. 🤣
It really is like that and then their sweet “I love you mommy” warms your heart.
Me too!
One of my favorite lines about raising kids is from actress/comedienne Brett Butler who said she never wanted to have kids because she never wanted to be the recipient of that much ingratitude. Truer words...
just goes to show stand up comedians are the worst parents ever
The longer I'm a parent of two littles, the more this makes me laugh 😆 Oh, you can tell he definitely has kids! HE KNOWS!
But why... seriously why... are people still having children if all this is so true. I don't have children and I most probably do have no real idea what it's like to be a parent (most my friends with kids say it's worse than I can imagine, and then sugarcoat it by saying how lovely their kids can also be...). So again why are people doing that to themselves. I'm not too fond of myself as a person, but I would not torture myself like that by bringing some innocent energy sucking demon into the world.
Human race living another generation? 😁
As the oldest sibling who had to help out with my younger sisters, I can confirm everything he says is 1,000% true!
I'm the eldest in my family too. The struggle is real
The accuracy of this bit always makes me laugh and cry at the same time.
I just died omg hahahhahahhaha! "He's never been there in his life!"
Yessss😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My wife and I have 5 kids so I speak from experience he is telling the truth
You didn't learn from first 2 mistakes 😂😂
Michael we need the teenage version of this one please! :)
This one is my favourite 😂😂😂
Me too 🤣🤣🤣
It right up there with the one about getting the kids to sleep. "Go to sleep or I'm going to kill you. I've got a plan and an alibi."
what's a mocaluccio??
Me toooo😂😂😂😂😂
I've literally laughed my tears out. And then, the laughter is gone. Tears left. Still... having kids is the most amazing thing in the world. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
As the eldest daughter and second mom I know all this pain. This is why I am childfree. My mom has it bad. No thank you.
I remember watching this in my 20s, laughing at the prospect of parents .... now I have a 3 year old & these things do happen, it's hilarious! The seatbelt bit killed me 😂
As a mother of nine, I am rolling!! Michael put the past 16 years of my day to day parenting struggles in one skit! Hahahaha
9 children in 16 years? Must be chaotic hahah
Wow 9, congrats 👍🏻😊
Heather Martinez the world does not need your lack of consciousness. 9 kids, good God women control yourself
How do you feed them did you win the lotto
Wow... 9... why? How do you manage?
As a person without children, but the oldest of 8 children: I am fully aware of the difficulties and Michael is on point!
6:35 That woman that laughed and pointed her finger : Story of her life. LOL
My brother is 13 years younger than me and I am basically his second mother. It goes my mom, me then my dad when he feels like it. My brother has done every single thing in this video. He is about to turn 13 and he still does the waking up at night thing. I open my eyes and he is right in my face. I love him with all of my heart but he is the reason why I don't want to have children. They are made cute so you can be entrapped by them because raising them is a constant battle.
Hope your brother doesnt know that, that he is the reason why you wont have children. Thats a tough thing to blame someone for and then say you love them. Dont have children but dont put the blame of your choice on someone else. Thats a horrible burden to put on someone.
@lee-annebarrett366 Ugh, another reason I don't want to have children is because whatever action I do will impact their lives and mental health for the rest of their lives. So no, I definitely would not say that to him. I don't blame him for it because there is no blame there to begin with. His existence taught me what children are really like and how much of a huge responsibility they can be. It's not a negative thing, I don't understand why you had to twist it like this. It was my blessing that I got taught that lesson so early on. I just can't understand why you had to go straight to that response of yours. So condescending and judgemental.
His description of parenthood is so accurate which is why it’s so funny. Having said that people without kids see things like this and think we parents are miserable but the thought of a life without my kids is absolutely horrifying.
@Hollywood T egoism at its finest.
Well, good for you if you love kids and have them....
Agreed 💯.
As a father of two boys (who are now grown men) I can relate to this on so many levels, especially the heads outside the car window. 😂
The "wheel on the bus part.".... ...dejavu....
Older siblings know the struggle. Especially when there's a few years age difference. We're basically raising these kids while our parents are at work.
I'm dying. This man is hysterical. Free life without kids, pause while zipping up lmao
not gonna lie, this scares the shit outta me.
We DO have some idea what it's like from watching our friends and family doing it, that's why we choose to stay childfree for life because we see how difficult it is.
This is so funny. As child free lady, he's right I have no clue. And I'm totally OK with that!
I no a man that can help you get a child He also help me for my life them I have a child now
Whattsapp him##+2349152052063
This is by far my favorite skit and I rewatch it often!! Thank you 😊
This dude is a real comedian.!!
I remember watching this when I was pregnant with my first...thinking yeah the upbringing of a human sounds way scarier than the actual birth (midwife btw lol). With 3 kids under 3yrs old by age 30...this guy is narrating my life 😂
Whenever I need a good laugh from an awful day Michael is my go to guy! Everything that he talks about is so relatable and that's what makes it so flipping funny!
Love Michael so much he’s my favourite comedian and he’s inspired me to be one myself x
You could do so much better!
My son would go missing in a store and we would always find him sleeping under a clothing rack,always. He would fall asleep climbing up on the sofa with one foot still on the floor and while walking back to the car from the store,he would just fall asleep in the middle of a step and fall to the ground. The things kids do. Ours always had a pool at our homes,they were 3,4,and 5 and we had to,my wife that is, must have had eyes in the back of her head because they are 48,49,and 50 today and still going strong. 55 years this August 7th and were still married. Lucky man.I am.
One day driving on a very busy road, very slow traffic, with my young Autistic son in the back, I turned around to see if he was OK, safe and behaving I almost had an accident........
He was wearing nothing but his seat belt!!!!!!!!!!! No, clothe, NOTHING but his seat belt.
Try and imagen that. Imagen having to stop my car and get in the back so I could put his clothes on him before getting into trouble. Of course, other drivers were not aware of my situation so in a way I did get into trouble. Just imagen yourself in a situation like that!!!
He went through a time that he would take his clothes off!!
The joy of having children :)
Alternate title for myself,
"more reasons to not have children"
AS IF WE *NEED* MORE REASONS?????😜
@@kimraudenbush427 hahaha!! Right!!!!
You sad sack
@@vailingshadow5030 *wipes tears away with all my money*
@@vailingshadow5030 oh no! Whatever shall I do, with all this money?!? And free time?? Such a sad life I shall live, truely.
I re-watch this, every time I fwd it to other parents. It never gets old, this sketch 🤣
Amazing. Had me in stitches. Such an accurate description its unreal.
They should make this video part of the education system.
Meanwhile my wife and I are a childless couple .. and LOVING IT !! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
YES!, So relateable!.. They do things for themselves just at the wrong time.😲😁
His hair is as funny as he is!😂❤
I’ve had a bad day. Thank you Michael. You make it better. I come watch you on CZcams when things go wrong and in the past 3 months lots has gone wrong. You so make it better. I am fixing to find the Dentist. That really makes things better 😃
Lol so true! Had me in stitches! 👍
This clip is hilarious!!! Made me laugh practically whole way through. Whoever this comedian is I can't believe I've never heard of him. Lol.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!!!😂😂😂😂again!!! Again!!! LMFAO
Everytime I am feeling down I can watch this and laugh.
Seriously accurate... even after this morning or maybe even more so, my 6 year old son: I’m wide awake let’s get up. This was at 3am this morning and yesterday too. This portrayal is absolutely hilarious 😂!
Oh I love this, it's definitely one of my absolute favourites, so relatable! 😂😂😍
And do I have kids? Yes, three (one with tourettes, one with adhd and one in her third year of the terrible twos). Send help.
Lemonie Lala I'd kill myself. Good luck.
You can do it ! It takes someone strong to make someone strong 💪🏻
Ahh! Take it easy
Lemonie Lala OMG - how to you even survive. I'd kill all 3 😝😝😝
@@teresat2595 you get used to it.
Oh, and drugs. Lots of drugs. I'm pretty much kept sane by my doctor and pharmacy. ❤😉
You are sooo funny !!! I laugh at basically all of your shows Id lovd to watch you live!!! Well Done !! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year !!!
Michael is a legend. Explaining parenting in a Mere few minutes. Indeed; they have no idea… 😄
I have a damaged jaw and I’m not supposed to smile or laugh to reduce pain but this video is so worth the pain. I also feel bad for my cat because I keep exploding into laughter scaring the crap out of him
I don't have children but I was the child who was wide awake and ready to go to school at 2 in the morning.
Same
“they think they the know!” 😂 he’s amazing 🤩
“The wheels on the bus go rundunrhnduhrunduhnduhdnd” got me 😂😂😂😂😂
Again! Again!
“We’re gonna leave Ozzy behind he gonna stay here! I hate him I HATE HIM.” Lmao me and ALL my sisters growing up.
🤣🤣me and my little brother
Wow..!! Well done man...!! Reality explained in such a funny way..!! Great job..!!😅😂🤣😭
I’ve loved Micheal McIntyre for 9 years now
Amazing. Love it. Never tired to see it
I’m sooo happy I’m not the only person who’s life is like this
Oh my Lord. Can’t stop laughing. I watched this video before my baby born. Hahaha now I am practicing it 🤣
Howling and crying soo hard. This is all soo relatable. 🤣🤣🤣
My husband and I watched several complete shows of Michael’s a few weeks ago. We laughed so hard that we both hurt ourselves (somewhere on the tight side of the torso). It’s been a few weeks now and our bodies haven’t healed themselves.
Michael should come with a ‘danger to life and limb’ warning ⚠️!
Love and All Good Things,
Jesse.🌹
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 it's funny how they can all of a sudden do something when you don't require them to do it and they can find things when you don't ask them to find anything.😆
One of his best jokes!
I love my kids but this was hilarious! A couple I know was talking about having a kid I immediately said "don't do it" that's just my opinion. If only I knew what I know now
I always advise people to enjoy their early twenties then consider kids if they want them. Kids can drive you up the wall, and they are work, but they are also wonderful. I feel like i enjoy being a parent more (even though yes it gets exhausting) because i was able to enjoy my young adult years freely.
@@smogfry2005 I agree. It's all about timing. You shouldn't do it at a point in your life where there are still things you want to do that you won't be able to do when you take on the responsibility. For example, finishing College, getting a good house, and having fun outings with friends or traveling. Once you become a parent it will become a lot harder to do those things, so it's best to do it as much as possible before getting kids. Then you will feel less tied down.
I agree
@@danielleforest1705 I agree too
My soul needed this. Thank you.
.........I've watched this a 1/2 dozen times or so....and I can't stop laughing with this maniacal out of control kind of laugh....because, Now I'm thinking "Thank God Somebody Understands!"
People without kids do have an idea.That's why they choose not to have kids.
they have an idea yes, which is wrong
Ninjamaster77 its not always a choice
there are many adults who would like to have children but cannot
random chicks music But it is often a choice
I visited a friend with a baby. She only cried and the mom complained that she was so heavy. Okay lets wait a while longer with getting kids. Next year I visited another friend with a baby. Cutest kid ever, sweet, happy all the time. Here take her on your lap. A year later I had a kid.
That zipping part is the most accurate thing I've heard. No hyperbole in there
I'm a parent of 2....mine are now adults 20 and 18 but I can so relate to this!! Absolutely HILLARIOUS!!
I have a teething 11 month old I’m watching this at 2am 😫
Beth Edwards awesome
Good luck its only the beginning haaa
My rule of thumb when doing anything or going anywhere with my two-year-old is...whatever time you thought it would take...double it. "Picking up one or two items from the store" suddenly becomes this entire expedition and you come home EXHAUSTED.
This is my all time favourite MM! 🤣🤣🤣
thanks for the truth, many famous people speak only about the "blessing" and the "greatest joy" with their newborn. But maybe they got an army of nannies...
Everytime I miss own kids, I watch this and feel reliefed. He's the coolest and best comedian.
;-)
People who doesn't have children are just clever enough to not have them
Simon Jensen if your parents thought like you, you wouldn’t be here saying that
@@albak6552 well the thing is. I wasn't a planned child, neither was my oldest younger sister.
The only one was our youngest sister.
And clever enough to spell DON'T....
This sort of stuff didn't happen when you knew you would get a clout round the head, any messing about in the car and my dad would stop the car make you get out and drive off.
Thank you🤗👏👐
I thought this was hilarious before I was a dad….now with a 2 month old who has the superpower to keep people awake for 24 hr stretches…. This is 10x as funny as before
“He doesn’t care he just goes ‘bye bye“ 😂😂
Legend!!!! I hear a practical man speaking i love it !!
I'm a preschool teacher and deal with 24 to 36 kids with two other teachers every day. One thing parents could try is to turn it into a fun challenge or game, so it becomes something positive. When you have an important event that you need to get to in a timely manner, explain it first a day ahead of time. Do a trial run so they know what needs to happen. Be silly in the process at the pretend trial run. Make it fun. Surprise them with a reward for beating the clock by taking them to get donuts or icecream. Encourage and reward them for a job well done. If you are a single parent and work everyday, hire a PT morning nanny to feed them and drive them to school. Your behavior, they will emulate, keep it positive. If you trust them, they will see this and trust you right back. If your behavior is emotional and ridiculous, what will you be teaching them. Include the child in the process, explain it to them so they are encouraged to want to help you succede as well. Having kids and raising them will be the hardest challenge you will accomplish. Blessings, you can do it!
Omg….the car story reminds of a story my parents told me: when I was a year old, we were on the tail end of a eight hour car trip. I was cranky, crying and my parents were at the end of their rope. They got me a chocolate ice cream cone on the last hour and drove as fast as they could! When we arrived at my grandparents, they finally looked back at me, I had smeared that ice cream cone all over the back seats of the car! 😂🤣😂🤣
Thats when you drop the kid off at the grandparents, switch cars with them, and run. 😉😉
@@pamelaj.betz-baron2420 don’t think they haven’t consistently it over the years! 😅😅
6:15 absolutely killed me 😂 tears rolling
Child free and proud!!!
Love all of his videos !!
I guess the funniest part of this skit is that it is so accurate...so very accurate
The reason I watch this man is right here. This sketch. Classic Michael.
My cheeks are hurting, that's how funny and relatable it was.