I’ve always found that “What a strange thing to say aloud” or “Bless your heart, I don’t think you meant to say that out loud” is a great, easy-to-rehearse, one-size-fits-all phrase for those (like me) who struggle with thinking of comebacks on the spot, or aren’t very good at standing up for ourselves/our interests. These phrases work for the vast majority of relationships you could have with the person (whether it be a complete stranger, a friend, or even a grandparent). Most of the time, it will catch the person off-guard; they’re prepared for you to defend the thing they’re criticizing, but they aren’t expecting to be called out for their behavior. Phrasing like this forces the other person to recognize how out-of-pocket their comment was, and to then choose between convincing you that it wasn’t, or just dropping it. All but the rudest people will typically just drop it because they’re embarrassed or second-guessing the whole conversation. If they do end up doubling down, it gives you the opportunity to state & explain why it was rude, thus shifting the conversation away from the validity of your hobby and onto their own behavior.
I love both of these phrases and the rationale behind them! The more options the better. And if someone wants just a few versatile short responses, these are great!
Came here to say this as well! I frequently use the "what a strange/odd thing to say out loud" especially with strangers/people I'm not close to:) With strangers I usually say "what an odd thing to say to a stranger/someone you do not know"
I was out in the wild with my doll (I was at a public art installation taking pictures), and some rando lady walked by as I was leaving and was like, "Is that a doll?" and I said, "Yes, and she's lovely!" and she burst out with this nasty cackle and was like, "Oh my God!" That was the first time something like that had happened to me, so I was taken off guard, and it really upset me. Later, I shared the incident with a doll group, and their support helped me get through my feelings about it. It's not my fault that that rude rando couldn't see how lovely my doll was. 💃🏻
What an ugly way to respond to someone out enjoying their hobby. You're absolutely right - it's not your fault someone was (incredibly) rude and failed to see your doll's beauty. I'm glad the doll community helped you through that.
This is great! Aside from the "ew, dolls are creepy! How can you stand so many eyes staring at you all the time?!" comments I haven't had too much negativity - then again, I don't really talk or show much about my doll hobby with the non doll people. But I loved this role-playing format and having your wonderful daughter participate!
Thanks - I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And I'm glad you don't get too much negativity in your life about your dolls. I don't either, but I know a lot of folks do and I hate that for them. I hope this videos finds the people who need it most and empowers them a little bit.
I absolutely loved the response "your creepy", it mades me laugh, because I hate it when people call dolls creepy, because there is SOOOO many genuinely creepy things in this world people should be focusing this comment on.
Yeah - I get it. I really do. Some ppl find clowns creepy and others don't. Heck, I find some DOLLS very creepy looking. But I don't have to say that aloud in front of someone who likes them, especially if they're not asking for my opinion. It's amazing how we can actually control what comes out of our mouths and some ppl still choose unkindness.
This is a really great overview of different types of options to engage with people who are saying unkind things. Much better than what would be my go-to, which would be "f*** off", lol. I thankfully have very supportive people in my life, but for people who are dealing with family and friends who are causing them harm, this is so great. I loved the different types of response to each cruel comment so people can pick and choose what works best for them. Also really lovely to see Annika here! Her contributions and insights were very helpful. Thank you for sharing this; I hope it reaches people who could really, really use it. (Also, dang, some people are just jerks - who the heck feels comfortable saying these awful things to people??)
Yeah, the inspiration really came from different comments here and there on my videos where ppl would imply the people in their lives are rude and unsupportive or when they'd comment that they are too embarrassed to take their dolls out in public or tell ppl about them. I really hope it does reach ppl who could use it. It sucks to enjoy something but simultaneously worry that you're being judged for it.
Ooh, I like that. Or if you were stuck on a name, "Yes, and I'm torn between naming her X or Y. Which do you like better?" or "Yes, and I'm looking for a nature-inspired/gender-neutral/French/whatever name. Have any ideas?" because those options kind of push the person into helping you and into giving more thought to your dolls rather than only thinking about them in a judgy way. It might not work, of course, but I'd be interested to know if you try it.
I loved this video! ❤😂 All the "spice" responses and the dead pans. Love it all so much! My favorite were the Disney and cs Lewis quotes! And your daughter did sooo great at this! I love how supportive you both are and seeing the relationship is so wholesome! Thank you as always for sharing and your tips and being so inspiring.
Aw, thank you so much. Anika is great and we are definitely cofounders of our own little mutual appreciation club :-) I love when she's up for stuff like this and appreciate her insight!
Kristie, Anika…. WELL DONE 👏🏻 I just love the concept of this video and you two made a great team and executed it perfectly. I love how you recognized that there are some people that just aren’t worth engaging with, some that could use a bit more of a cold, matter of fact response, and some that you need to be more gentle with while still getting your point across. Thank you for all of your hard work on this amazing video! ❤
Thank you so much!! Based on your own approach to your channel, I know you *can* appreciate the work that goes into some videos. This one did take a while, but the filming it was a joy. Anika is one of the best humans I know and I love when she's game for things like this!
This was a lot of good info! I haven’t had any issues yet lol! I am an older new doll collector, just waiting for the comment about being too old, at least I know how to respond from this video! Nice video with you & your daughter! ❤ Happy New Year! 🎆
Hi Kristie. So nice to see your daughter Annika in this video. She had some great points and perspectives. Your tips were excellent. We can use these in many situations in addition to doll collecting. One response I often use is, “is that so?” It also works well in some situations. I have found that when I was more shy about my doll collecting, I received more negative comments than I do now. I may also attribute that to reaching a “certain age” where I could care less what people think and I do what I want without apology! My friends, family and coworkers are getting used to hearing me talk about my hobby now and it is very liberating. I hope we can all contribute to “normalizing and accepting” each other’s hobbies whether we understand them or not. Wishing you and your family a very Happy New Year!🥳🎉
I definitely agree that the more shy/uncertain/self-conscious/apologetic/etc we are about something, the more ppl feel entitled to be judgy and hurtful. It sucks but I definitely think it's true. So I'm all for enjoying these dolls unapologetically... I really like "Is that so?" as a simple, versatile response. The more options we have, the better! Also, I agree Anika had some great insights. She is a pretty awesome person, so I wasn't surprised. But it's always fun to do videos with her!
Love the energy in this video! If only I had a Jefferson Fisher when I was younger. I was so terrible at come backs and people knew it and used it as a chance to walk all over me. My brain shuts down in the face of confrontation and I can barely speak. I really could have used those short, multi-use comebacks! I don't really experience these bad comments directly to my face about my collecting because I just don't tell people. Most of the negativity comes from family who just don't get it, and it's definitely of the, "you got ANOTHER doll?" variety with definite overtones of "this is really childish so I will proceed to treat you like a child." I know when a certain person asks how many dolls I have, it's that they want the shock value of it, not that they are genuinely interested or anything. I just avoid talking about it unless they bring up AG in a positive way. I also really want to tell someone, "you're creepy too, but you bring me less joy!"
Oh my goodness. If you tell someone they're creepy too but bring you less joy you have to let me know! I will mail you a Certificate of Baddassery!! Especially since you said confrontation is hard for you. I hope you meet some people IRL who will be supportive and encourage your joy. The other day some family was walking by and the daughter (late teens or early twenties) told her parent, "Man, don't yuck my yum!" and it seemed to go over well. It was playful but also a subtle reminder that the parent was being unsupportive about something and it wasn't appreciated. I'm always trying to pay attention to how ppl respond and what works in different circumstances.
This was so great! I was looking forward to this one and you did not disappoint. I’m lucky that I haven’t meet much negativity towards my dolls. This was useful for any negativity sent your way even not doll related. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it! I'm also lucky that I don't get much negativity but people comment about it fairly often and I always feel so badly for ppl whose family, friends, etc. are so negative.
Awesome video! I always struggle to understand why this hobby gets so much judgment and criticism. I have my own small channel that focuses primarily on Cabbage Patch Kids. Just getting into Pleasant Company & American Girl recently because I somehow missed out on these dolls as a kid, likely because I was “aging out” of dolls as a teen in the early 90s. But look at me with the doll collection now, in my 40s! 😂 BTW, I must mention, you looked so familiar when I first stumbled across your channel, and I then realized your resemblance to actress Bess Armstrong from the 90s show, My So Called Life. Anyway, thanks again for the fun doll content!
I don't get it either. How hard is it to listen to someone talk about something they love and try to find something relatable in it? Or if that's asking too much, how hard is it to keep one's mouth shut to avoid being ugly, right? BTW, I looked up Bess Armstrong - it looks like she almost always has blonde hair but I can see the resemblance. I also didn't discover American Girl until my 40s, so welcome!!
I think all of these responses are great. One thing I’ve found in life - not just doll collecting - is to keep a sense of humor about things. People rarely respond with negativity when you keep things light and not so serious. There’s a way to do it without losing your ground and staying kind and non-defensive. I’m lucky enough to have supportive people in my life so I haven’t had to really defend myself. My husband will on occasion make silly comments about American Girl but it’s never mean-spirited and we can joke about it. Plus he can’t really judge me anyways because he has over 14 guitars and is constantly getting parts to make new ones. So what did we get each other for Christmas? He gave me a brand new Z Yang doll and I got him a crap load of guitar parts. Sorry I’m going on a tangent, but hobbies are so important, and even if we don’t “get it,” we can still be supportive and cheer on someone else’s joy. P.S. I love the relationship you and your daughter have. ❤
Yep - I think there are so many people and situations and intentions that it's impossible to give a one-size-fits-all response. I'm loving all the input in the comments and YES, even if we don't get it, we can (and should) find ways to be supportive and cheer on others' joy! And the final "YES!" goes to the comment about my relationship with Anika. She's. the. best. We are so lucky to have each other and I love that she's game for helping me out like this.
Kristie, this was great. I love it when you do videos with Anika. This was really good advice for most of life, not just doll-related. I love when you referenced "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" as my husband and I are reading the series and we're both in that book right now. :)
Aw, thanks - Anika is the best and I love how supportive she is. BTW, OotP is my favorite HP book. A lot of ppl don't like it because "Harry's angsty" but I love so much about that book.
@@agtakesover That is very interesting about OotP, as I don't know anything about which books were more popular than others. We've really enjoyed all of them. I'm about 2/3 through it and John is about 1/2 way through it and we're both really enjoying it, Harry's angst and all. :)
I love that the kids mobilize for the first time. They see the power structures are failing to protect them and they see their own potential, their power in numbers, the benefits of peer mentoring, etc. It's really a shift from all the action revolving around the trio in previous books to a much large student population organizing and tackling a problem head-on.
@@agtakesover That is so true. I never thought of it that way, but if you know Myers-Briggs, I'm an ESTJ and John is an ENTP. Sensors (S) see the trees and Intuitives (N) see the forest. John will absolutely see that big picture and I just see all of the details. So interesting how our brains work differently. The power structures are definitely failing them and I love seeing them work together. I'm getting very close to the end and just requested the next book from our library. :)
Good video and it was nice that your daughter participated. I’m fortunate that I haven’t had to deal with mean comments, but if I had to I would use the “i know what to get you for xmas comment”…I guess it depends on the age of who you’re talking to and the assumption is an adult. If a child, I would engage in a conversation and try to understand where the kid is coming from and plant a few thoughtful seeds for the kid to think about long after the conversation ended. That’s my 2 cents 😊
Yes! Age does make a difference in how I'd respond, and so would several other factors. I might respond to someone differently if we're seated next to each other on an 8 hour flight than I would at the check-out lane, too lol.
This is a really helpful video, and these ideas apply to more than just dolls. I feel like a lot of these rude comments are things that my own inner voice says more than other people do. Obviously my inner voice got the idea from somewhere, though, right? 😂
Yes - ppl internalize a LOT of the world's unkindness. Fortunately it doesn't have to stay that way and we can teach our inner voice to be more supportive.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :-) (and we never see the resemblance when people point it out, but you're definitely not alone in thinking that lol)
This was great Kristie. I love that your daughter helped you out with this one. Loved the different levels of comebacks 😅 👌👏 very helpful and empowering.
I know you were looking forward to it, so I'm glad it didn't disappoint! And Anika is fantastic, so I am always appreciative that she's up for helping out!
Thank You Annika for sharing in this discussion. Kristi you really make the world a better safer place. Thanks for having this discussion it is very helpful. lol I find I would go more towards your spice or Ice comments if I am challenged. My challenge is my AG purchases for myself and the girls are actually taking over our limited space so I have to make changes in a way to be responsive to other family members feelings about the space we share.
I'm so glad you found it helpful. And I also really appreciate your ability to take an honest stock of things and say, "I may need to adapt my collecting to make sure I'm respecting the shared spaces in our home." Wanting ppl to be supportive of our hobby doesn't mean we disregard valid points and this was a perfect example :-)
To be honest, I empathize with SOME people who think dolls are creepy. Some people are legitimately freaked out by them (perhaps it's because of certain movies which I refuse to see). I find that incredibly sad because they bring ME so much joy! I know that doesn't mean they have a right to be rude, but I guess it depends on the situation. If a friend tells me they're uncomfortable in my home because of my dolls, I get it. We can meet somewhere else. But if someone makes a comment on an AGTube video saying they think dolls are creepy... yeah, not much empathy. They could just... not watch the videos!
Yeah, I think there's a big difference between a) finding dolls to be creepy and keeping it to yourself, b) being legitimately creeped out and stating it neutrally only if necessary - "If I stay in your guest room when I'm over, will there be dolls in the room? If so, do you mind covering them up temporarily? I know you love them and I love that for you but I find them unsettling.", and c) being a jerk and telling someone their dolls are creepy just to make them feel bad. I'm good with the first two, but the last is unacceptable.
Very insightful! I feel fortunate that I don't get negative comments (except from my son but that's a whole other issue....lol). While volunteering in a Grade 1/2 class recently, I shared a picture of one of my custom boy dolls. One student (a boy) said, "That's just creepy!". I responded, "Some people think dolls are creepy, and that's okay. But I really like them." No hard feelings and even the teacher felt less about wanting to strangle him.....lol
And see...this is why we need options. I wouldn't respond the same way to a child that I would to a grown person. It sounds like you handled it perfectly.
One of my brothers asked me about the value of my dolls at a family dinner. He wouldn’t let it go. It was uncomfortable, but I think I handled it well. My husband (who is supportive of my hobby) was more annoyed than I was.
People are fascinating. Like...was he asking how much you've spent on dolls or how much you could get if you sold them? Not particularly his business either way, unless you share finances or owe him money ;-) Glad your husband is supportive. Happy new year!
Know a real Story from my towm , but i can't tell ist in english. Eine alte Frau da. 70 Jahre alt , lebte in ihren kleinen Häuschen , das Sie von ihrer Mutter geerbt hätte alleine . Sie war gelernte Schneiderin und hatte die Rente erreicht , lebte mit Rebornpuppen zusammen und fuhr mit einem Puppenwagen spazieren und ging auch damit einkaufen. Die Leute sagen böse Worte zu dieser Frau . Als ich das hörte würde ich sehr sauer und sagte , diese Frau hat ihr Leben lang hart gearbeitet und kann mit ihrem Rentengeld machen was sie will , las sie doch machen , es schadet doch keinem , sie klaut nicht und bringt keinen um und sie näht auch noch für die Puppen Kleider und verdient damit Geld . Die Leute sagen aber ihre Kinder , meine Antwort war waren schon seit Jahren nicht mehr bei ihr , und sie macht nicht verbotenes. Dann waren sie alle ruhig , die alte Frau hätte stark geweint war alle böse Worte sagten , jetzt lächelt sie immer und ist mit ihren Puppen glücklich und die Kinder aus dem Ort kommen zu ihr .
How nice that you were able to defend her, and you you're absolutely right. Why shouldn't she sew and enjoy her dolls? Why should ppl feel entitled to judge her for that?
Hallo from old Germany, hi Kristie my husband say , you are crazy that are dolls and you are old. And i anwsers, i want a platinring from you but you don't buy it's for me . He tell me , oh is ok, i Love My two sons say , ist oky Vom.
Happy New Year! What a great video with full of tools to affront unrespect comments in so many different family/friends dynamics . I appreciate the sense of humor that you both put in it. Thank you
That was my favorite “ you’re creepy too and you bring me less joy”!!!!
I'm still cracking up at it and I NEED someone to tell me if they ever end up using it lmao.
I’ve always found that “What a strange thing to say aloud” or “Bless your heart, I don’t think you meant to say that out loud” is a great, easy-to-rehearse, one-size-fits-all phrase for those (like me) who struggle with thinking of comebacks on the spot, or aren’t very good at standing up for ourselves/our interests. These phrases work for the vast majority of relationships you could have with the person (whether it be a complete stranger, a friend, or even a grandparent). Most of the time, it will catch the person off-guard; they’re prepared for you to defend the thing they’re criticizing, but they aren’t expecting to be called out for their behavior. Phrasing like this forces the other person to recognize how out-of-pocket their comment was, and to then choose between convincing you that it wasn’t, or just dropping it. All but the rudest people will typically just drop it because they’re embarrassed or second-guessing the whole conversation. If they do end up doubling down, it gives you the opportunity to state & explain why it was rude, thus shifting the conversation away from the validity of your hobby and onto their own behavior.
I love both of these phrases and the rationale behind them! The more options the better. And if someone wants just a few versatile short responses, these are great!
Came here to say this as well! I frequently use the "what a strange/odd thing to say out loud" especially with strangers/people I'm not close to:) With strangers I usually say "what an odd thing to say to a stranger/someone you do not know"
I love that!!@@chewie5013
Great video! I’ve actually responded when they’ve said they find my dolls creepy by saying my dolls find you creepy. Usually they find that hilarious.
I love that option. Again - wouldn't use it with everyone, but if the shoe fits,... ;-)
“Whatever” is often a good response. So is “could be!” And “why would you say that?”
I love these. The more options we have, the better!
I was out in the wild with my doll (I was at a public art installation taking pictures), and some rando lady walked by as I was leaving and was like, "Is that a doll?" and I said, "Yes, and she's lovely!" and she burst out with this nasty cackle and was like, "Oh my God!" That was the first time something like that had happened to me, so I was taken off guard, and it really upset me. Later, I shared the incident with a doll group, and their support helped me get through my feelings about it. It's not my fault that that rude rando couldn't see how lovely my doll was. 💃🏻
What an ugly way to respond to someone out enjoying their hobby. You're absolutely right - it's not your fault someone was (incredibly) rude and failed to see your doll's beauty. I'm glad the doll community helped you through that.
This is great! Aside from the "ew, dolls are creepy! How can you stand so many eyes staring at you all the time?!" comments I haven't had too much negativity - then again, I don't really talk or show much about my doll hobby with the non doll people. But I loved this role-playing format and having your wonderful daughter participate!
Thanks - I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And I'm glad you don't get too much negativity in your life about your dolls. I don't either, but I know a lot of folks do and I hate that for them. I hope this videos finds the people who need it most and empowers them a little bit.
I absolutely loved the response "your creepy", it mades me laugh, because I hate it when people call dolls creepy, because there is SOOOO many genuinely creepy things in this world people should be focusing this comment on.
Yeah - I get it. I really do. Some ppl find clowns creepy and others don't. Heck, I find some DOLLS very creepy looking. But I don't have to say that aloud in front of someone who likes them, especially if they're not asking for my opinion. It's amazing how we can actually control what comes out of our mouths and some ppl still choose unkindness.
This is a really great overview of different types of options to engage with people who are saying unkind things. Much better than what would be my go-to, which would be "f*** off", lol. I thankfully have very supportive people in my life, but for people who are dealing with family and friends who are causing them harm, this is so great. I loved the different types of response to each cruel comment so people can pick and choose what works best for them. Also really lovely to see Annika here! Her contributions and insights were very helpful. Thank you for sharing this; I hope it reaches people who could really, really use it. (Also, dang, some people are just jerks - who the heck feels comfortable saying these awful things to people??)
Yeah, the inspiration really came from different comments here and there on my videos where ppl would imply the people in their lives are rude and unsupportive or when they'd comment that they are too embarrassed to take their dolls out in public or tell ppl about them. I really hope it does reach ppl who could use it. It sucks to enjoy something but simultaneously worry that you're being judged for it.
My dad says the whole “another doll???” thing a lot. My current favorite response is “Yes, and her name is.…”
Ooh, I like that. Or if you were stuck on a name, "Yes, and I'm torn between naming her X or Y. Which do you like better?" or "Yes, and I'm looking for a nature-inspired/gender-neutral/French/whatever name. Have any ideas?" because those options kind of push the person into helping you and into giving more thought to your dolls rather than only thinking about them in a judgy way. It might not work, of course, but I'd be interested to know if you try it.
Ur the best!!! ❤🎉😮😊
Thank you so much!
I loved this video! ❤😂
All the "spice" responses and the dead pans. Love it all so much! My favorite were the Disney and cs Lewis quotes! And your daughter did sooo great at this! I love how supportive you both are and seeing the relationship is so wholesome!
Thank you as always for sharing and your tips and being so inspiring.
Aw, thank you so much. Anika is great and we are definitely cofounders of our own little mutual appreciation club :-) I love when she's up for stuff like this and appreciate her insight!
Kristie, Anika…. WELL DONE 👏🏻 I just love the concept of this video and you two made a great team and executed it perfectly. I love how you recognized that there are some people that just aren’t worth engaging with, some that could use a bit more of a cold, matter of fact response, and some that you need to be more gentle with while still getting your point across. Thank you for all of your hard work on this amazing video! ❤
Thank you so much!! Based on your own approach to your channel, I know you *can* appreciate the work that goes into some videos. This one did take a while, but the filming it was a joy. Anika is one of the best humans I know and I love when she's game for things like this!
This was a lot of good info! I haven’t had any issues yet lol! I am an older new doll collector, just waiting for the comment about being too old, at least I know how to respond from this video! Nice video with you & your daughter! ❤ Happy New Year! 🎆
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Anika is such a good sport and it's so fun when she does a video with me.
Hi Kristie. So nice to see your daughter Annika in this video. She had some great points and perspectives. Your tips were excellent. We can use these in many situations in addition to doll collecting. One response I often use is, “is that so?” It also works well in some situations.
I have found that when I was more shy about my doll collecting, I received more negative comments than I do now. I may also attribute that to reaching a “certain age” where I could care less what people think and I do what I want without apology! My friends, family and coworkers are getting used to hearing me talk about my hobby now and it is very liberating. I hope we can all contribute to “normalizing and accepting” each other’s hobbies whether we understand them or not. Wishing you and your family a very Happy New Year!🥳🎉
I definitely agree that the more shy/uncertain/self-conscious/apologetic/etc we are about something, the more ppl feel entitled to be judgy and hurtful. It sucks but I definitely think it's true. So I'm all for enjoying these dolls unapologetically... I really like "Is that so?" as a simple, versatile response. The more options we have, the better! Also, I agree Anika had some great insights. She is a pretty awesome person, so I wasn't surprised. But it's always fun to do videos with her!
Love the energy in this video! If only I had a Jefferson Fisher when I was younger. I was so terrible at come backs and people knew it and used it as a chance to walk all over me. My brain shuts down in the face of confrontation and I can barely speak. I really could have used those short, multi-use comebacks! I don't really experience these bad comments directly to my face about my collecting because I just don't tell people. Most of the negativity comes from family who just don't get it, and it's definitely of the, "you got ANOTHER doll?" variety with definite overtones of "this is really childish so I will proceed to treat you like a child." I know when a certain person asks how many dolls I have, it's that they want the shock value of it, not that they are genuinely interested or anything. I just avoid talking about it unless they bring up AG in a positive way. I also really want to tell someone, "you're creepy too, but you bring me less joy!"
Oh my goodness. If you tell someone they're creepy too but bring you less joy you have to let me know! I will mail you a Certificate of Baddassery!! Especially since you said confrontation is hard for you. I hope you meet some people IRL who will be supportive and encourage your joy. The other day some family was walking by and the daughter (late teens or early twenties) told her parent, "Man, don't yuck my yum!" and it seemed to go over well. It was playful but also a subtle reminder that the parent was being unsupportive about something and it wasn't appreciated. I'm always trying to pay attention to how ppl respond and what works in different circumstances.
This was so great! I was looking forward to this one and you did not disappoint. I’m lucky that I haven’t meet much negativity towards my dolls. This was useful for any negativity sent your way even not doll related. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it! I'm also lucky that I don't get much negativity but people comment about it fairly often and I always feel so badly for ppl whose family, friends, etc. are so negative.
Awesome video! I always struggle to understand why this hobby gets so much judgment and criticism. I have my own small channel that focuses primarily on Cabbage Patch Kids. Just getting into Pleasant Company & American Girl recently because I somehow missed out on these dolls as a kid, likely because I was “aging out” of dolls as a teen in the early 90s. But look at me with the doll collection now, in my 40s! 😂 BTW, I must mention, you looked so familiar when I first stumbled across your channel, and I then realized your resemblance to actress Bess Armstrong from the 90s show, My So Called Life. Anyway, thanks again for the fun doll content!
I don't get it either. How hard is it to listen to someone talk about something they love and try to find something relatable in it? Or if that's asking too much, how hard is it to keep one's mouth shut to avoid being ugly, right? BTW, I looked up Bess Armstrong - it looks like she almost always has blonde hair but I can see the resemblance. I also didn't discover American Girl until my 40s, so welcome!!
I think all of these responses are great. One thing I’ve found in life - not just doll collecting - is to keep a sense of humor about things. People rarely respond with negativity when you keep things light and not so serious. There’s a way to do it without losing your ground and staying kind and non-defensive. I’m lucky enough to have supportive people in my life so I haven’t had to really defend myself. My husband will on occasion make silly comments about American Girl but it’s never mean-spirited and we can joke about it. Plus he can’t really judge me anyways because he has over 14 guitars and is constantly getting parts to make new ones. So what did we get each other for Christmas? He gave me a brand new Z Yang doll and I got him a crap load of guitar parts. Sorry I’m going on a tangent, but hobbies are so important, and even if we don’t “get it,” we can still be supportive and cheer on someone else’s joy. P.S. I love the relationship you and your daughter have. ❤
Yep - I think there are so many people and situations and intentions that it's impossible to give a one-size-fits-all response. I'm loving all the input in the comments and YES, even if we don't get it, we can (and should) find ways to be supportive and cheer on others' joy! And the final "YES!" goes to the comment about my relationship with Anika. She's. the. best. We are so lucky to have each other and I love that she's game for helping me out like this.
Kristie, this was great. I love it when you do videos with Anika. This was really good advice for most of life, not just doll-related. I love when you referenced "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" as my husband and I are reading the series and we're both in that book right now. :)
Aw, thanks - Anika is the best and I love how supportive she is. BTW, OotP is my favorite HP book. A lot of ppl don't like it because "Harry's angsty" but I love so much about that book.
@@agtakesover That is very interesting about OotP, as I don't know anything about which books were more popular than others. We've really enjoyed all of them. I'm about 2/3 through it and John is about 1/2 way through it and we're both really enjoying it, Harry's angst and all. :)
I love that the kids mobilize for the first time. They see the power structures are failing to protect them and they see their own potential, their power in numbers, the benefits of peer mentoring, etc. It's really a shift from all the action revolving around the trio in previous books to a much large student population organizing and tackling a problem head-on.
@@agtakesover That is so true. I never thought of it that way, but if you know Myers-Briggs, I'm an ESTJ and John is an ENTP. Sensors (S) see the trees and Intuitives (N) see the forest. John will absolutely see that big picture and I just see all of the details. So interesting how our brains work differently. The power structures are definitely failing them and I love seeing them work together. I'm getting very close to the end and just requested the next book from our library. :)
Good video and it was nice that your daughter participated. I’m fortunate that I haven’t had to deal with mean comments, but if I had to I would use the “i know what to get you for xmas comment”…I guess it depends on the age of who you’re talking to and the assumption is an adult. If a child, I would engage in a conversation and try to understand where the kid is coming from and plant a few thoughtful seeds for the kid to think about long after the conversation ended. That’s my 2 cents 😊
Yes! Age does make a difference in how I'd respond, and so would several other factors. I might respond to someone differently if we're seated next to each other on an 8 hour flight than I would at the check-out lane, too lol.
@@agtakesover good point! I’d have to agree lol
Tip #6, I always say "Jokes are supposed to be funny."
Yep. Also, it's really cowardly to try to backpedal and pass off an intentionally hurtful comment as a joke.
This video offers such good advice!! Thanks for sharing it!
You're so welcome! It was fun, as always, to film with Anika :-)
This is a really helpful video, and these ideas apply to more than just dolls.
I feel like a lot of these rude comments are things that my own inner voice says more than other people do. Obviously my inner voice got the idea from somewhere, though, right? 😂
Yes - ppl internalize a LOT of the world's unkindness. Fortunately it doesn't have to stay that way and we can teach our inner voice to be more supportive.
your daughter looks just like you! this was a great video, very well executed.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :-) (and we never see the resemblance when people point it out, but you're definitely not alone in thinking that lol)
This was great Kristie. I love that your daughter helped you out with this one. Loved the different levels of comebacks 😅 👌👏 very helpful and empowering.
I know you were looking forward to it, so I'm glad it didn't disappoint! And Anika is fantastic, so I am always appreciative that she's up for helping out!
Thank You Annika for sharing in this discussion. Kristi you really make the world a better safer place. Thanks for having this discussion it is very helpful. lol I find I would go more towards your spice or Ice comments if I am challenged. My challenge is my AG purchases for myself and the girls are actually taking over our limited space so I have to make changes in a way to be responsive to other family members feelings about the space we share.
I'm so glad you found it helpful. And I also really appreciate your ability to take an honest stock of things and say, "I may need to adapt my collecting to make sure I'm respecting the shared spaces in our home." Wanting ppl to be supportive of our hobby doesn't mean we disregard valid points and this was a perfect example :-)
To be honest, I empathize with SOME people who think dolls are creepy. Some people are legitimately freaked out by them (perhaps it's because of certain movies which I refuse to see). I find that incredibly sad because they bring ME so much joy! I know that doesn't mean they have a right to be rude, but I guess it depends on the situation. If a friend tells me they're uncomfortable in my home because of my dolls, I get it. We can meet somewhere else. But if someone makes a comment on an AGTube video saying they think dolls are creepy... yeah, not much empathy. They could just... not watch the videos!
Yeah, I think there's a big difference between a) finding dolls to be creepy and keeping it to yourself, b) being legitimately creeped out and stating it neutrally only if necessary - "If I stay in your guest room when I'm over, will there be dolls in the room? If so, do you mind covering them up temporarily? I know you love them and I love that for you but I find them unsettling.", and c) being a jerk and telling someone their dolls are creepy just to make them feel bad. I'm good with the first two, but the last is unacceptable.
@@agtakesover Yep, exactly.
@agtakesover My 4-year-old loves beautiful dolls, but he says a couple of my Disney animator dolls and his baby doll are "creepy." Lol.
Very insightful! I feel fortunate that I don't get negative comments (except from my son but that's a whole other issue....lol). While volunteering in a Grade 1/2 class recently, I shared a picture of one of my custom boy dolls. One student (a boy) said, "That's just creepy!". I responded, "Some people think dolls are creepy, and that's okay. But I really like them." No hard feelings and even the teacher felt less about wanting to strangle him.....lol
And see...this is why we need options. I wouldn't respond the same way to a child that I would to a grown person. It sounds like you handled it perfectly.
One of my brothers asked me about the value of my dolls at a family dinner. He wouldn’t let it go. It was uncomfortable, but I think I handled it well. My husband (who is supportive of my hobby) was more annoyed than I was.
People are fascinating. Like...was he asking how much you've spent on dolls or how much you could get if you sold them? Not particularly his business either way, unless you share finances or owe him money ;-) Glad your husband is supportive. Happy new year!
Happy new year! This is such a helpful video, thanks as always for creating such a supportive, fun space for us doll fans 😊
You are so welcome! It is such a pleasure for me - and thing time I got to work with my wonderful daughter, so even better!
Great topic! Love your videos!!!✨👏🏽✨👏🏽✨
Thanks so much - I'm glad you enjoyed it!
So helpful. Happy 2024!
Oh, I'm glad you think it's helpful. Happy 2024 to you as well! I hope it brings wonderful things :-)
Know a real Story from my towm , but i can't tell ist in english. Eine alte Frau da. 70 Jahre alt , lebte in ihren kleinen Häuschen , das Sie von ihrer Mutter geerbt hätte alleine . Sie war gelernte Schneiderin und hatte die Rente erreicht , lebte mit Rebornpuppen zusammen und fuhr mit einem Puppenwagen spazieren und ging auch damit einkaufen. Die Leute sagen böse Worte zu dieser Frau . Als ich das hörte würde ich sehr sauer und sagte , diese Frau hat ihr Leben lang hart gearbeitet und kann mit ihrem Rentengeld machen was sie will , las sie doch machen , es schadet doch keinem , sie klaut nicht und bringt keinen um und sie näht auch noch für die Puppen Kleider und verdient damit Geld . Die Leute sagen aber ihre Kinder , meine Antwort war waren schon seit Jahren nicht mehr bei ihr , und sie macht nicht verbotenes. Dann waren sie alle ruhig , die alte Frau hätte stark geweint war alle böse Worte sagten , jetzt lächelt sie immer und ist mit ihren Puppen glücklich und die Kinder aus dem Ort kommen zu ihr .
How nice that you were able to defend her, and you you're absolutely right. Why shouldn't she sew and enjoy her dolls? Why should ppl feel entitled to judge her for that?
Hallo from old Germany, hi Kristie my husband say , you are crazy that are dolls and you are old. And i anwsers, i want a platinring from you but you don't buy it's for me . He tell me , oh is ok, i Love My two sons say , ist oky Vom.
Sounds like you had the perfect comeback lol.
Happy New Year!
What a great video with full of tools to affront unrespect comments in so many different family/friends dynamics .
I appreciate the sense of humor that you both put in it.
Thank you
Oh, you're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. We had a lot of fun. Anika's fantastic and she brings me SO much joy.
She is a smart girl! The camera shows it@@agtakesover