How To Use Tactical Empathy In Different Situations | Chris Voss

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  • čas přidán 30. 11. 2022
  • Get FREE access to The Black Swan Group’s book 5 Negotiation Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People here: bit.ly/3duQVyW
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    Founded and led by former lead FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, the Black Swan Group has 10+ years of experience working with companies and individuals on taking their negotiation skills to the next level. Chris’ book, Never Split the Difference, is a Wall Street Journal bestseller and has sold over 2 million copies worldwide. Our expert team of coaches discuss everything from silence techniques to influential empathy.
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Komentáře • 40

  • @rohanaurora
    @rohanaurora Před rokem +42

    04:10 - Neural resonance, Call it out.
    16:20 - Labeling diminishing amygdala's negative trigger. "What are you feeling?"
    17:30 - Accusations audit. Series of negative labels (70%).
    20:40 - Tactical Empathy is your best chance of success (93%) - "Before I disagree with you, here's what I think your position is"
    24:24 - Brother-Sister example. Make her feel heard, without disagreeing with anything.
    26:38 - Prime the individual for behaviors that you want them to display.
    41:47 - Accusations audit during price negotiation - "I am sure I look uncollaborative on purpose" "I am sure I look greedy".
    47:46 - Chris literally using mirroring here while getting a testimonial!
    53:29 - Oxytocin is more powerful than a walkway. Brandon's NJ store walkway example, praise the bond!
    56:00 - Focus on motivation (why). Remain genuinely curious. Find where it's coming from. Listen, don't rush. It's Not About The Nail video.
    01:05:20 - "Are you against? Would it be a bad idea why this is not appropriate?
    01:12:58 - Kidnapper example. "That's right!"
    01:19:22 - "Before I disagree with you, let me make sure I got your perspective correct" until "That's right!"

    • @AMANDAMCBRIDEKC
      @AMANDAMCBRIDEKC Před rokem +4

      thank you for time stamps - super helpful!

    • @Christian_Prepper
      @Christian_Prepper Před rokem +1

      *NEGOTIATOR's REAL WORLD HIGH STAKES CHALLENGE*
      *What can be done when a hostile, emotional person is actively yelling obscenities & threatening bodily injury directly at you, there is no escape possible, and you have seconds to influence the outcome of the situation?*
      *Or is all this training only good for business negotiations & hostages?*

    • @tomjeff1743
      @tomjeff1743 Před 9 měsíci

      ​@Christian_Prepper I've heard chris recommend in the past that we introduce ourselves. Stick our hand out and say my name is Chris. If it's beyond that, then leave or run. If you can't do that, be prepared to disable them so they can't hurt anybody, including you. Tim Larkin self-defense. Keep a little demon sticker in your pocket.

    • @WhoNeedsWhatWhere
      @WhoNeedsWhatWhere Před 6 měsíci

      Hero among men, thank you sir

    • @almmason7
      @almmason7 Před 3 měsíci

      Thank you ❤

  • @charmainecarr1816
    @charmainecarr1816 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Im no genius, but when I read Chris Voss’s book Never split the difference, it seriously changed my professional and personal life. I can’t that him enough for showing me the way.. ❤

  • @kalebbillig3472
    @kalebbillig3472 Před 7 měsíci +3

    I think: “I feel… when I’m… (describe what they did without using YOU statements), because… “
    Example: “I feel misled when I’m deliberately shown only some of the information, because it seems like something is being hidden from me”
    This way there’s no opportunity for defenses to go up! The word YOU brings accusatory vibes.

  • @misraersavas2443
    @misraersavas2443 Před rokem +6

    I wish they would write down the names of the books they mention as well. I read more books suggested by him than anyone else

    • @fitnesssoup7553
      @fitnesssoup7553 Před 10 měsíci +1

      No you don’t. I read more books he reads than anyone! 😅

  • @jaigaines
    @jaigaines Před rokem +1

    At 46:26 You described my customer perfectly. A couple hours ago I almost gave her a swim free little opportunity. Then I thought, this table can be turned.

  • @carloseduardonaranjosuarez5917

    Thank you very much for your wisdom, for your contribution to a better world

  • @acceleratedtrainingacademy

    Great explanation of tactical empathy. One of his best for sure

  • @meta1gear4
    @meta1gear4 Před rokem +2

    Holy crap! I just turned a flaked date around haha. It works! I just Black Swanned someone! And this was all through text haha

  • @ashley4372
    @ashley4372 Před rokem +2

    nice, thanks for this.

  • @user-pi4kw7bm5p
    @user-pi4kw7bm5p Před rokem +18

    Etymology, entomology and empathy are all Greek origin words. Oh, and amygdala is also Greek word which means almond. Greetings from Greece teacher Chris.

  • @marcibunn
    @marcibunn Před 4 měsíci

    ❤thank u!

  • @jaigaines
    @jaigaines Před rokem

    1:17:56 I actually need a discount right now. And I been paying Spectrum a lot for a long time.

  • @chriskelly1320
    @chriskelly1320 Před rokem +1

    👍 I forgot how much I missed George Carlin

  • @MulletMakersCom
    @MulletMakersCom Před 7 měsíci +1

    Anyone else realizing that Brandon Voss is really Derek's Kid? Does Chis know this?

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 Před 4 měsíci

    Sympathy is understanding how somebody else feels. Empathy is feeling it. In the ‘90’s we hoped and offered sympathy but now we push empathy as a requirement.

    • @Joseph_Christopher
      @Joseph_Christopher Před 20 dny

      That’s backwards

    • @brightpage1020
      @brightpage1020 Před 20 dny

      @@Joseph_Christopher Culturally, we had boundaries back then. We learned which was appropriate when. That was a long time ago. There are no appropriate boundaries now that don’t harm or offend one if not the other. Boundaries are no longer allowed. Not between the sexes, the ages, the genders, the countries… Our melting pot is boiling over, I’m afraid.

    • @Joseph_Christopher
      @Joseph_Christopher Před 20 dny

      @@brightpage1020 That has nothing to do with the subject. To break it down, Sympathy is: "OMG, that's terrible! I feel so bad for you!..." Empathy is: "It sounds like that really affected you. I can understand why you are upset..." See the difference?

  • @tjwilliams3233
    @tjwilliams3233 Před rokem +1

    😎

  • @MjF809
    @MjF809 Před 10 měsíci +1

    I believe empathy has become a dangerous pandoras box, highly misued in society, medicine, psychiatry,
    Empathy is the polar opposite of psycopathy....both fatal.

  • @masteringtheapproach7815

    Who is Dean Cooper and where is his work at I'm very interested in that

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Před 11 měsíci +1

      It sounds like our training would be a great fit for you. Go to the quiz on our website to discover which kind is right for you: bit.ly/3N9MhWc

  • @GenericHandle01
    @GenericHandle01 Před rokem +2

    19:22 Does anyone know what this woman is talking about when she is saying people are "half" and "L". Some of the other things she says, make it sound like it's related to politics but even google doesn't know what I am talking about when I try to search it up.

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Před rokem +3

      H.A.L.F. - Hard, Annoying, Lame, Frustrating
      E.L.F. - Easy, Lucrative, Fun

    • @Christian_Prepper
      @Christian_Prepper Před rokem +1

      ​@@NegotiationMastery*NEGOTIATOR's REAL WORLD HIGH STAKES CHALLENGE*
      *What can be asked when a hostile, emotional person is actively yelling obscenities & threatening bodily injury directly at you, there is no escape possible, and you have seconds to influence the outcome of the situation?*

  • @ReflectionOcean
    @ReflectionOcean Před 11 měsíci +2

    Before I disagree with you, here's what I think your position is...

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Před 11 měsíci +2

      It sounds like our training would be a great fit for you. Go to the quiz on our website to discover which kind is right for you: bit.ly/3N9MhWc

  • @obeylu2015
    @obeylu2015 Před rokem

    I’m here for manipulation I ain’t gone lie. I’m getting the money now I need the power

    • @NegotiationMastery
      @NegotiationMastery  Před rokem +3

      I'm really sorry. We do not teach manipulation. We teach collaboration through trust based influence. We believe in creating long term professional and personal relationships.

    • @JorgeGonzalez-sx7fk
      @JorgeGonzalez-sx7fk Před rokem +1

      The more you feel like you need power, the more power has power over you