Why I'm Not Afraid of my Shadow | how I cope with the density *TW
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- čas přidán 10. 07. 2024
- Another deep dive into my mental wellness practices and how I stopped abandoning myself consistently enough to not fear falling to the bottom of the well so intensely. I have bad days, anxious days, sad days, avoidant days. But I know exactly how to respond to these phases and return to love without bypassing my feelings or lessons. All of this may be common sense but it still feels good to vocalize. I have made so many videos on this subject matter so forgive me for any repetition. I still get so many questions about these topics and wanted to make one final cohesive video covering it all.
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IG: / yaknowme_hitomi
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- TIMESTAMPS -
0:00-2:23 intro
2:23-9:09 coping with depression
9:09-12:47 unconditional acceptance as true freedom
12:47-20:57 coping with anxiety
20:57-31:29 forgiveness and familial relations
31:29-34:02 knowing your alchemy for success
34:02-35:03 daily discipline
35:03-37:52 financial stability is a priority
37:52-38:54 outro - Krátké a kreslené filmy
"I dont mind the weight of my feelings anymore because i dont allow them to dictate how i treat myself. Which then disempowers them from showing up at my door so frequently"
🥹 ok wow
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THIS. I love this statement
😮💨😮💨😮💨 damn that’s good
Ive been thinking about the rumi guest house poem so much lately and this really helped balance my anxieties around it, knowing that treating each emotion kindly is also a reflection of how I treat myself ❤
Honestly Hitomi's videos are like free therapy for me tbh, she has changed my life with her vulnerability and wisdom! Not because I idolise her or put her on a pedastool, but because her openess and authenticity and groundedness inspire me through the most difficult moments of my life.
I feel the same❤ she made me understand that im a normal human, with mental issues or being traumatized while my childhood ❤
same same same. she makes me feel like im not alone. thank you so much hitomi, really really appreciate you deeply
Same for me
Same! Same! She is singular!
the digital age has 100% given our generation so much more emotional literacy. We are able to see vulnerability, experiences and emotions through a screen that in the past, many people would never experience or even think about. Obviously a lot of the content is edited and tweaked but sometimes it also isn't and I think that has greatly shifted our worldview to something our parents and past generations likely will never understand unless they have been as prevalent on the internet as us
Thats a good focus point
💯 - absolutely it has. What a blessing!
“If you choose to love yourself and treat yourself accurately even in your darkest hour what power does the darkness really have?” HITOMI THIS IS A BAR!🔥 adopting this perspective thank you💖
Yes. This 🦋✨️🙏🏽💜
You articulate the human experience so beautifully Hitomi. Every video I’m just blown away. I have admired you and your content since I was in high school. Your words resonate with me so much. You just keep reminding me of the light and darkness of life and its balance. I love you so much💘
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I second this entirely 💗
i'm 18 and dropped out of college a couple months ago... hearing your experience and the way you spoke about it whilst giving yourself compassion and understanding made me cry. it just made me feel so validated and it felt like a sign I made the right decision for my own mental health 💗 so proud of you always Hitomi. I feel and hear the universe speaking through you a lot
Omg I’m also 18 and I've really been thinking about leaving the university for my peace, but it's a very difficult decision for me, it would mean maybe a job that I don't like, I don't know, but your comment touch my heart ❤
@@danselavie2403 it is a difficult decision! especially due to societies pressures and standards but your health and peace should always come first in my opinion. trust that the Universe/ God will figure out all the things you're scared or uncertain of. ❤
I left school twice once at 19 and then again at 22. It can be so hard but trust me it will be worth it if u follow the advice in the vid. You cannot let your mental health or emotions fall to the way side even if that means ppl will be upset with you for it.
I didn't give myself enough time the first time I dropped out and although even the short break helped, i hadn't done enough work (tho I don't hold that against myself bc I was young and clearly didn't understand I needed to or I would have just done it lol) to maintain any momentum and completely succumbed to all of my problems again, this time 10x worse. After the 2nd time I got super lucky that it coincided with the pandemic so I had true and utter quiet in my life and was able to actually use the small amount of energy I had to help myself.
I am 25 now and I'm contemplating going back to finish my degree. Idk if I will but I can say definitively that leaving was truly the best decision for me. I guilted myself into thinking it wasn't the first time and I ended up even worse off than when I started. At times it may feel just as bad to have quit then it did to stay but you will always come out of those moments. You will know when/if you're ready to go back when it doesn't feel like you have to.
Good luck to you on your journey. Being 18 can honestly be scary as fuck lol but like, I know everyone says this but they have good reason to; it will get better, even when you think it won't. In a lot of ways, realizing that is all growing up really is 💗
I was in the same position as you 6 years ago. It was so incredibly difficult but it has led me to so many experiences I otherwise would've missed out on, a path dedicated to health, deep spirituality and understanding of the world, of life and myself, exploring different interests and hobbies and otherworldly travels that brought me encounters, experiences and purpose like I have never known before. Your journey will be unique, just keep listening to your heart, feed your Soul and stay dedicated to your health and your growth🪷 (Ps I also highly recommend doing a Yoga Teacher Training! It is the best gift you can give yourself even if you don't want to teach yoga it's such a transformational experience)
I’m 28 I went to college & graduated from uni with a degree in literature. Came out of it not having any idea what I wanted to do and felt so lost. It’s only now I’ve taken the time for my mental & physical health that I’m able to know who I am & what I want. I’m now back in college/working full-time to become a vet nurse.
Moral of the story is that if you don’t feel ready/your gut feeling is telling you no then it’s not for you & that’s ok! I really wish I hadn’t followed the crowd & rushed myself. I could have taken that time to become myself so much sooner. I don’t regret university but it didn’t aid me like it should have & I know I’d have been fine without it.
Huge well done for putting yourself first, you should be proud. Trust the timing of life and trust yourself!
I was diagnosed with a tumor and then had a childhood friend remove herself from this life time on my birthday. I broke down and finally dragged myself out of bed today… tidied my home, went to the park, and grabbed groceries. As I cooked myself dinner, I prepared myself to sit at the table alone and eat what was the first meal I had had in weeks that was not considered a binge eating escapade like all the previous ones I had had. My tears have run out, and I’m trying my best to sit with myself and process things the best I can. It’s okay that I’m sad and these circumstances do not feel fair. But Hitomi hit the nail on the head when she said that no matter what feelings your processing, it’s best to do what you can to maintain a healthy space to emote versus laying and wallowing in the sadness.
hi hitomi! my name is stella. i have been quietly following along for the past 4/5 years and just want to say that you bring me such ease, calm and truth when i need it. thank you for serving humans in this way 💙
I love your name 🥹
@@GirlKeepItReal thank you so much chloe!! ☺️💖
pls Hitomi you should start a podcast!!! You are so poetic
I have been alone my entire life, with little to no friends. Depression is a known friend of mine, he is the oldest and the most loyal of them all. Always comes by, knocks on my door and enters my house and we have some tea together. I love your videos, and I am in love with your personality. Everything you share, gives me in this case 38 minutes of happiness and peace while watching it. From sharing topics like sexuality to depression makes me feel as if I am not the only one walking this earth and thinking/acting like that. I wish I had people around me like that, too bad in other countries people act different and still have 20th century mentality.
I don't think I've ever been in a darker and deeper place than I am right now, my fears, beliefs, traumas and all those things are so open wounds, I feel like it's finally time to break free, heal. with all these panic attacks i'm having about not feeling safe here, i'm realizing i'm something so much bigger than this, i can feel this way and it could take more than my life to heal, life hasn't in a long time it was a choice for me, i think now i choose myself, i choose to accept myself. hitomi i just want to say that all these videos you make saying about your experiences make me believe that there is still light, sometimes I feel that I want to be the love that this world needs so much, so I want to be the light and love for me too. I can see around every part of me, I'm starting to feel at home inside myself. thank you, i'm trying my best. I love you.
I'm proud of you and I love you ❤
🙏💗🙏
You are love, you are light🌹 don't give up
It may seem dark now, but there is a light in you that cannot go out. Keep tending to your inner flame.
You are safe. You are loved. Go slowly. You already are the love that this world needs. You already are the light.
You already are home. You already are free. You just need to remember. You just need to take your baby steps every day.
Your wounds will heal, it takes time, but they will. Accept them, let them be open, let them bleed. Then honour them and put kisses on them. Keep taking care of yourself.
Blessings!
1. Be proactive, implement something that feels good, have buffers, prioritize mental health and take it seriously 7:23
2. Writing to yourself in different mental states 8:25
I recall you mentioning that you have considered social work as a potential career path. I genuinely believe that your unique perspective and presence would bring great beauty to the field. I want to express my gratitude for the impactful videos you create. They are truly appreciated.
As someone who deals with depression, anxiety, shame, self loathing and other mental health experiences this video was very validating and helpful. Thank you ♥️🌱
Hitomi you are such a wonderful soul. I woke up catastrophising, and when I feel extremely triggered I like to go to your videos, if I can’t phone a friend. and this video was the first thing that popped up on my CZcams, I know it’s dense but I am so appreciative you talk about your shadow. Your timing is always synchronistic for me🫶🏼 much love always
i tend to get seasonal depression during the summer, so this was a healthy reminder as i’m ending my college semester
I knew this one was going to hurt me so I put off watching it for a few days but I had a really rough day today and thought I could use the ✨free therapy✨ I started crying a minute in.. thank you so much Hitomi for your words of wisdom and the light and for being vulnerable with us. So proud of your healing journey 💛
I cried wow what a powerful honest self reflection. God speaks through everything and everyone and these starting words had some deeper context to unpack. You earned my true admiration. Bless you.
i've found a special form of therapy that you can learn to do by yourself, it's called 'focusing'. it's a wonderful form of healing, i cannot recommend it enough. i feel like we are the generation that feel and heal ancestral traumas of our linages. there's so much to heal in this world. we can do it! WE WERE MADE FOR THESE TIMES. 💚💚💚
Hey hitomi!! You’ve completely changed my life, you’ve made me believe that there’s so much hope out there. I’m so glad to be born here on this planet, you’ve had such an impact on my life. Only because of you I decided to get myself out there, out of my bed everyday and get on that yoga mat. I’ve been meditating. Eating well. I’ve started looking deep into my thought patterns, into what I really want with life. Thank you so much
I was JUST doing some shadow work with themes of forgiveness so its wild to see such a deep dive from you on the subject.
Really needed this after an intense day doing shadow work. Feeling really overwhelmed and struggling to self soothe. Just realised I don't know what being comforted feels like and I'm teying to learn ways to comfort myself
i encourage you to dont apologize for making abundant videos like thesee
hi hitomi. thank you for your words of wisdom through self experience. i am 24yo and i have always struggled with my academic path despite being able to get As even in university. i have always recognized and got bothered by how my peers seemed to roam around their childhood, teenage years and young adult life with ease even when they claimed that they were struggling. at 23yo i was officially diagnosed with adhd and this year i discovered that i am more neurodivergent than that. i am autistic. i have always been an autistic female putting on a mask since i was a child and i have been unconsciously wearing it to try and keep up with what society expects me to be. your videos have been really warming and helping me step into this liberating journey especially the part about dropping out of college, which i will do next week, and confronting your family about it, which i will do soon as well. although they acknowledge that i have mental disorders they still refer to my symptoms as inconveniences or flaws every time i manifest them which is a practice i have been trying to do more often: freeing myself from a mask i had no idea i had sewed on myself at such early stages of my life.
This video has hit such a special place in my heart. I've always struggled with finding the right words to describe my mind, even writing this simple CZcams comment has me doubting lol but hearing you speak so freely about things I relate to so very much has brought me to tears. You are a light.
I can’t put into words the level of freedom and joy I feel after watching hitomi’s videos. It truly puts me back into my spiritual heart and makes me trust my inner wisdom more profoundly. So grateful to have her in my life for two years now🤗
Happiness is like a *Shadow*
*Chase* it
It will run away !
Stand still with one's self
It will last forever ✌🏽
Beautiful ❤
i love love love hitomi. listening to her words is like a big sighing exhale and i feel calm again
I ve healed my depression quite some time ago and it was quite a jorney
Anxiety was never really a thing for me , very blessed in that way for sure not that i m immune to it i just feel it less in general perhaps
Never the less, thank you for all the blessings again sweet Hitomi u mencioned aloot of usefull mechanisms to deal with those feelings
Your channel is legit a SANCTUARY on CZcams
sooo cool and crazy you mention wwoof!! Wwoofing changed my life. I lived in a tent on a vegan farm in oregon for 6 months and it helped cure my depression and bring me out of victimhood and start to understand and feel hope!
Resonating with so much that you're saying and feeling so validated. You are really good at putting into words what many of us are probably feeling. I aspire to that level of eloquence.
Thank you so much Hitomi. Your openness, wisdom and vulnerability always brings me back to a place of groundedness and compassion for myself and others and I am so grateful to you for reminding me to come back to that place ❤️
I recently listened to the priestess awakening podcast and the hostess of that space spoke about the importance of highlighting and accepting all of your needs💖 Often we feel like our needs can make us 'less than', yet this is truly societal conditioning. Having needs is actually so beautiful and powerful! Your needs connect you to your environment around you and allow you to embrace the elements of your reality and create connections.💞 Because the spiritual path tends to be quite minimalist looking we forget that entrepreneurship is rooted in spirituality, literally trading and exchanging energy. The ability to recognise how you feel and create solutions for yourself on this journey is true alchemy, because you are actively loving yourself by birthing this into your reality 💖
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this is such a powerful message
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I love this❤
i love you so much, you remind me that in my darkest moments i can at least observe and i can find the light there too.
This pure honesty and acceptance channeling through you or this channel is so healing. It shows me that everyone has a path with ups and downs, like wandering on a mountain or being like the ocean. It often feels like I’m behind when it comes to growing which makes no sense since everyone is on their journey, experiencing this human life.
Thank you and I love you
All of you who are reading this❤️
The timing of this... Wow. I've been battling with depression as of recent and everything you said resonated with me. I really lack the tools and knowledge to deal with it but you have given me some fantastic first steps. Thank you for also giving examples for how to talk about it, it's something I couldn't even find the words to say.
You never cease to post at the most divine timing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
That was so refreshing, thank you Hitomi
I'm so so glad you're still here with us 💗💗
These videos have not only healed but brought to the surface parts of me that I wasn't aware of. Thank you for so openly sharing your story with the world. You have no obligation to do so, and I'm just so thankful that you continue to be so open. I cherish every video you post ❤
really appreciate your transparency and vulnerability, you have no idea how much your content is relatable to others and I am proud of what you've accomplished on your journey.
Wow friend, what an amazing and emotionally informative video. Your section on forgiveness and familial relations really stood out for me since I think I’ve been in a cycle that is on its way to ending. The loved ones around me have never really been the type of people to express emotions or have deep-connecting conversations. Whereas I’ve always desired to know more of people, and to deep-dive into dialogue about emotions, spirituality, and existence. I constantly tell my partner that I’ll always try to do these things with my family even if they don’t bring up these details with me, simple because that’s my nature, and I desire to do it. I’ve learned to set my boundaries and when to step back if i need to. The way I felt in comparison to the way my family didn’t show much emotion used to make me feel misplaced, but now it makes me feel like i was specially placed here with them. It’s nice to hear your perspective on this and inspiring to have witnessed your growth with your family from when I first started watching your videos.
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with the world, your channel is a place of validity for so many different people. So much love 🥰
Love everything you said! Thank you Hitomi, but I was wondering if we can get a finance/budgeting video (just more in depth of what you learned about saving and creating financial stability).
I have listened to this video 3 times. I will keep coming back to this. Thank you so much !
I feel like this is exactly what I need right now, thank you Hitomi ❤
this came exactly at the right time. really really needed these reminders. thank you so much for your words and for sharing your wisdom and experiences.
What an amazing video! Thank you so much for sharing this with us, definitely sharing with close friends and for myself to watch a couple more times when I need to❤
hitomi thank you for being so vulnerable, this was really heavy but thank you for being real i really needed this!
i usually never comment, but honestly this video came at the exact right time i needed it. thank you so much! much love
dearest Hitomi, thank you for always sharing so vulnerably with us and allowing us to receive the wisdom you have cultivated through your lived experience 🙏🏼🕊️🖤sending love
You have no idea how much I look up to you ❤ your voice and words are always so deep and healing ❤
I réally appreciate your humble approach. It always makes these videos feel so safe to click on even as someone dealing with complex ptsd. Thank you again 🙏🏽
Hitomi! Just another reason we need a podcast from you-you have so much wisdom to share. Thank you for showing up and thank you for being you. 💛
this video is so healing. i have been waiting for someone to tell me that and validate my inner thoughts for so long now. thank you for your creation!!
I appreciate you and the digital resting place you have created so deeply😇
Wow! What great insights in how to cope! Thank you for sharing them with us. ❤️🙏🏻🦋
Loads of really important points! Thank you for sharing x
I love the maturity and the honesty in the stuff you said about your dad!
I just appreciate you and your videos so much 💛
Thank you Hitomi one of the biggest changes I'm trying to make this year is welcoming the possibility of change. Your videos have inspired me so much to continuously practice openness to curiosity so I thank you for sharing your journey with us. Much love ❤️
exactly what I needed right now 🌼 thanks you Hitomi love you 💚
I’m so happy that I’ve came across your channel! Thanks for helping me grow, know myself better and fall in love with myself!! You’re a literal angel 💗✨
praying for you, you are such a beautiful person!
This woman is a blessing
I am very grateful from the bottom of my heart for the incredible work and for helping me and others see life from another perspective, thank you so so much💕
you're so amazing Hitomi thank you for sharing this wisdom
I want you to know how much you’ve helped me Hitomi. Sometimes the darkness gets too much, and hearing your journey and your advise has helped me immensely. I love you so much and I’m so grateful for your existence.
Very very very excited to tune into this one
just like so many others i had to cry because of this video, it made me feel so seen in my imperfections, thank you
Your voice, very soothing and calm. You deserved to have a podcast 🥰💕
this video was so perfectly timed. i was working a lot on myself, got sick, fell off and never got back into my routines/ self care that eventually turned into depression. and honestly being reminded of all the things i forget when depression takes over is such a blessing, thank you🫶🏽
The other day someone asked me to name one person that really helped me on my healing journey and I couldn’t stop thinking about hitomi, it’s so crazy how you impacted my life, I’m forever grateful
I love how you describe your perspective on giving and receiving love (or lack of love) from your family, and the family role as learning rather than the expectation of being loved perfectly. Definitely an 'aha' moment for me! Thank you!
grateful for your existence and for showing up authentically ☀
the way you express yourself speaks for me as well. you helped me understand myself more in some specific aspects. thank you for being you
Your videos are always so inspiring!! Thank you!
Thank you for these videos. They are truly a form of therapy for me.
you're the wisest person I've ever listened to.
My esteem for you only keeps expending, thank you for being a voice in this world
Thank you soul much Hitomi. You sharing the fragility of your truth is self empowering. When fear knocks at your door, open the door with faith …. I’m so inspired by your joys and mucky bits…the wholeness of your truth , and the immense honesty and bravery in laying down breadcrumb tracks that lead back the infinite paths of you on your journey. It’s such a breath of freshness to know that the joy you experience rises from you , and from the folks and circumstances you enjoy, yet you are not chasing joy . Your loving nature really balances life, I thank God for you. I’m soul happy you are vibrating and being more than the past and the future, and here now and humbly yet majestically greater than the moments that you overcame , and your connection to LIFE pulled you back from the edge of numbness. I don’t tune into your Iife giving post all the time, but when I do, I’m blessed to receive with love the torrent of life you bless the world with in your rebirthing revelations . No pressure, but you are blossoming reflection of quality over quantity, and your quantative quality of expressing love in its purest sense. 1nce again thank you for being you, being beyoutiful in knowing GOD’s nature, in life’s frequencies of change . Thank you Hitomi 🦋 🙏🏾. ps I was eating a really really wholesome meal last week and thought of your cooking skills and super appetite 😁
60 seconds into the video and I am emotional because the power of your words and all they entail. You tell your story amazingly with your words. It’s like I’m in a book and I’m imagining scenes in my head. Thanks for sharing your story with us earth angel 💚
i love the way you communicate all of your points. and it's so freeing listening to similar thoughts and reasoning! kinda feels like repetition of a class or lesson but iinstead it's of self knowledge. 🌱
I always love how much vulnerability and support I can always expect to see in your videos' comment sections :')
speechless again.. thank you thank you hitomi, your words are golden🌬
ps
one thing that makes me feel safe wherever i am is music. it’s pure healing, it’s grounding, it reminds me of who /what i am
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This was amazing to listen to and you are very well spoken ❤️
I resonate so much with what you have to say, and honestly you've been of more help than most when it comes to me learning forgiveness. I am deeply grateful to you for that, and other reasons. You, and your work are important and are making a positive impact in the world. ❤
Always posting at the right time, with the right topics
hi hitomi. only a few minutes in and wow, watching your videos is always like being split wide open and being seen so intensely. i got injured at work yesterday and have been bedridden in pain, and its not the first time ive felt small and scared and turned to your videos for comfort. thanks so much for being so vulnerable. so much love to you.
You remind me that vulnerability is so beautiful on a person 🥹. You presence feels like a much needed hug. I appreciate this video so much.
Hitomi, I always come to your videos when I’m in a bad place because you’re one of the few people I’ve found who makes me feel at peace. This one is going to be one that I revisit. Thank you for being you. ❤
Tomi, I truly admire your discipline and ability to fall to deeply in love with your practice and experience on this earth and I also find it amazing how you’ve found a balance between the world and your subtle renouncing of it. It’s something I hope happens for me in this lifetime, but I keep getting caught in samsara..so when I watch your videos it’s a good anchor but I hope to find my spiritual connection again and not constantly fall away from it over and over again. You’ve done the work and witnessed it all
you give me such big sister vibes. I love you so so much. Your videos have given me such clarity and peace in my life that I didn't know I could ever find it. Thank you for you and how much you give out to all of us viewer. So much love
You’ve saved my life in so many ways. Thank you so much
You don’t have to do what you do and I’m so grateful of you too. Thank you for fighting G ⚔️ 🙏🏾🌎
Hitomi you have been such a light and guide for me when I’m feeling my most insecure and aimless. Thank you so much for your clarity and willingness to share it is so generous (and beautifully crafted too). ❤️❤️❤️
Everything you are talking about makes so much sense and feels so refreshing to hear. I feel as though "mental health" has just become a piece of the human experience rather than it being the actual experience. I really admire how you were able to let go of your fears of disapproval and just drop everything in order to feel content with living. Personally, I struggle with feeling happiness without the anxiety of it going away. I think the fact that you have managed to develop methods to trust yourself enough to feel a full range of emotions while maintaining balance is incredible.
Wow i've only watched the intro and already i'm having deep a-ha moments. You are so wise Hitomi, thank you so much for sharing what your density has taught you with all of us
Thank you so much for this video Hitomi ❤️ I needed to hear these words.
Going through some of those role play conversations with your family - its so so helpful for me. Thank you for your vulnerability 💗 🙏 💗 its so inspiring and humbling to me. Thank you for sharing your gifts to the world. Giving words to some many things that are so difficult to articulate for so many of us
This is such an imperative topic. I so deeply connected to each aspect especially the family trauma. Thank you for always being a voice for the things that affect so many of us. Really appreciate your insight and ideas it is helpful in my growth. Sending love 💗
This video is so useful. Thank you for continually giving wisdom and hope. Such a beautiful gift.