i love how HEALTHY this advice is!!! There are people on tiktok and even on podcasts that give relationship advice but its veryyyyy toxic and rooted in misogyny
I told the last guy I hooked up with that I needed someone more available, to hold me, to invite me over after a rough day someone who feels safe and home....he didnt really respond but was rather angry as i would not respond any more, so he was more interested in receiving my energy than actually being vulnerable with me, I was so glad I ended it early...💜
be proud of yourself for being honest and open with him from the beginning! that is a healthy habit to have, and I am definitely going to start implementing this into my life
You’re not gonna find that in a hookup first of all. Unfortunately for many of us who feel needy towards partners, we gotta learn that it’s not balanced energy to treat someone like a boyfriend before they are actually our boyfriend (ie loving and committed to us on some basic level)
Hitomi could you talk more about how you embraced and "overcame" your high sensitivity/triggers? I could totally relate to you on the office crumbs story and I want to learn how to respond in better ways instead of projecting/internalizing
@@michelleamponsah7521 For me I began to look inwards for fulfillment rather than outwards. I started exploring all of my interests and passions that I had buried thinking they made me less desirable. I got more in touch with my emotions and shamed myself less for having them. I addressed past relationship traumas and my feelings around them, and tried to understand where exactly the pain I felt was coming from. I began to explore my creativity more with art, and learned to skateboard because I had wanted to since I was a child. I just began to accept myself and cultivate my interests and got to a point I was truly happy on my own. And then I attracted the right kind of attention and found someone who’s doing the same thing with their life. Whether or not you’re in a relationship it’s always important to focus on self fulfillment. Take time to do what makes you happy and pay attention to your inner child. For me the importance of my inner child lays in the fact that that was the last time I felt totally unashamed about my interests and play, was just myself, and explored the world with no preconceived ideas of how it should be. I hope that made sense, and good luck to you!
This video is beautiful. My girlfriend and I watched it together and it partnered perfectly with many long conversations she and I have been having lately. It makes me so emotional to know that we have the privilege of living in a time where mental health and illness, emotional triggers, sensitivity, and safe space are acknowledged with such depth. Thank you so much, Hitomi, for sharing all that you are and creating a space for all beings to thrive and harmonize. Much love!
I have never been in a serious relationship because I always thought my expectations were too high, but this reassured me that what I'm asking for isn't that farfetched and everything happens in divine timing.
Yess I can confirm this! I was 19 when I never even had been intimate let alone sexual with someone, I thought something was wrong with me for not being interested in boys(or girls) in a sexual or romantic way, also thought I set the bar too high. But my patience defenitely paid off when I found my love who I can truly be my 100% self with and who makes me feel at home. Its more than I ever even dreamed of. I’m so glad I didn‘t settle for less:) (not saying relationships are only rainbows and sunshine because it can be hard especially when you have some trauma to work through but yes, this is also a beautiful learning space)
To the person reading this: You are who you are. You are a gorgeous and beautiful creation. You are a masterpiece. You are who you are. You are strong and courageous. You can absolutely do it. You are powerful. Remind yourself that you are who you are. Move forward with your determination, and conviction. You can absolutely do it. Have a great day ahead, Remember you are who you are. ❤️❤️❤️
half way through watching this, i paused the video and begun opening up to my partner about something we've been struggling with for a year now... i shared and expressed from a respectful and balanced place, usually i'm overly emotionally charged talking about it because it triggers so much pain in my heart... it is still in process, but anyway, i had a big break-through last night, and it was definitely supported by how clear and affirming i felt when opening the doors to the hard stuff - so for that, i thank you hitomi x
Yes. And I finally found a partner who I can communicate with adequately. The moment something bothers me, we communicate and fix the problem. No gaslighting. No feeling guilty for talking things out. I’m literally going to marry this girl cause the little problems that arise, we figure it out so fast.
This comes in such a perfect time, I just ended my almost 3-year-old relationship, it wasn't even a toxic relationship, but there were some things that I wouldn't take anymore, and I spoke about that several times but there was no change so I decided to leave, and this speaks so deeply to me at this moment, there are so many things I want to work and focus on myself to heal rn, Idk, I just love this video so much
“We need relationship education in school…” I totally agree with this! I’ve talked as nauseam with friends/family about this many times when discussing sex ed reform (which I’m passionate about)! Consent and interpersonal skills are *soooooo* important and the idea that we (the US) have no national standard to teach for all to adhere to is so…🤯 to me 🤷🏽♀️
Hitomi, thank you for sharing about the importance of noticing and being mindful of your body. So relate to what you shared about your throat chakra! For a period of time, I knew I needed to end a relationship but couldn’t admit that truth, and I kept feeling like I was about to choke on food constantly. Once I spoke to this person about how I truly felt, I stopped having that choking sensation. Our bodies are so intelligent and speak to us all the time ❤️ thankful for your presence and truth!
You always seem to post things at such the right time about the perfect topics. I’ve noticed myself growing at such a fast pace spiritually and I feel like my partner and I aren’t on the same level in this aspect, it’s always hard to let go and I’m not sure when I will but this video definitely helps me out a lot. I have some things to think about! Thank you so much.
I’m going through something similar, I’ve been with my partner for almost 4 years and now it’s becoming clear that I was dating based on a lot of projections and expectations, so seeing now that we might not be as aligned as I thought (and wish) we were really hurts. I still haven’t made up my mind about whether to stay or leave the relationship, but I’ve been thinking a lot
I went through this! we were together for over four years but i began to realize deep down i was no longer as invested in the relationship. The comfort of it all was what kept me attached- it actually took me several months to finally listen to my gut and break things off. I knew i wasn't truly happy anymore and the best thing you can do for your partner is to no longer ignore that. i learned to not be afraid of change or being uncomfortable because then you will BOTH get to where you're supposed to be much faster! hope this could help !!
When I listen to your videos, I take my journal out and write as you speak. You have such insight. I really appreciate and love your words. If you wrote a book, I would read it sis.
😭 Every time Hitomi says "I'm sending love to you" I just kinda sit there shocked and I'm like wow, thank you. Like that's so sweet of you to send love. After such healing videos I feel like I receive your love so clearly and I just have to take a moment.
Just a note that some of these online counseling services are particular about the kind of mental health struggles they are capable of assisting with. For liability reasons they often will not accept new clients that have more serious mental health struggles. Please be aware going into that! It can be hard to receive a rejection (from a therapy service no less lol) when you're already in a difficult space.
A bit about communicating without fear: if there's something irking me a little bit in the relationship that keeps popping into my mind, I'll tend to take out my phone & record myself talking through the problem I have with said thing to figure out if it's something worth communicating to my partner or something I just need to let go of. Helps me reassure myself when I do find we need to have a discussion with each other.
When you said “I want you to feel safe in my space” tears welled up from within🌊 maybe this is something I need to hear more💖 thank you for your magic & wisdom Hitomi🙏🏽
i feel like everyone's relationship problems is they can't help but get into toxic relationships all the time and my relationship problems is I can't connect with people at all to begin with. Like at this point I wouldn't even mind a non-ideal relationship I just want to connect with someone.
@@sarahcoburn5870 Thank you, it’s nice to know it’s not just me ♥︎ Logically i know it’s not just me, but social media sure does make it seem like it is
@@JohnPorsbjerg yeah same, that's why I'm trying to limit my social media time but kinda finding it hard 😅 yeah like I've never had a long term boyfriend and I just find myself being intensely infatuated by certain boys but then it not working out because I can't emotionally connect with them even if I really like them :(
Something I've heard from a relationship counselor, is very similar to your 'speaking up immediately after you feel constricted' is: Maybe if your hot tempered and cant keep a cool head in a certain situation, take a deep breath, step away and write it down. It helps to calm your nerves as well as telling somebody (in this case your phone or notebook) about how you really feel. And then, most importantly, take your time once a week with yout partner to talk about what might've come up during the week. Speak openly and then things will not boil over. For example you ask eachother every sunday evening if they have anything to tell you, that might've bugged them. Hope that helps! :)
I had a conversation this weekend with a really close friend of mine about just wanting to stay friends because I'm so happy by myself at the moment, that I don't want to be dating or be in a relationship. And he keeps trying to convince me but just slightly crossing the boundaries I set. Now I'm stuck in a weird place. I really feel like I needed to hear this and to know that I can and am allowed to feel like this and set my boundaries.
When Hitomi said that she had life-ending thoughts about not vacuuming something, that exact feeling and thought process is very applicable in my relationship now. I thought I was crazy for having that mindset but after a lot of inner work for myself, I understand that those thoughts came from an insecurity and much more. My partner (who is my first relationship ever and i am 22 yrs old) and I had a very rough patch last year because I was developing a lot of mental health issues. In addition, my partner didn't know how to handle me during my chaos. It was extremely hard because I lacked the skills and knowledge to navigate through my own thoughts& emotions- so how would I be able to express to my partner my wants and needs, when I didn't know what I needed?!. But with my own self-awareness and my partner's support, we're in a much better place. I want to note that I wasn't going through therapy and I think if I did have a therapist during this time, I would have saved my partner and me a lot of hurt and trauma. In essence, the man I'm with today is a huge blessing because I am constantly met with compassion and empathy. I know that every relationship is different but I wanted to share my experience on here to let someone know that even if you are in a healthy relationship, there is still healing that has to occur. As much as you think a relationship is the end goal, it's only the beginning towards healing deeper wounds you may have never noticed. It's a matter of putting in the work and showing up for yourself. And to constantly remind yourself that the reason why you want to be better, is to better for YOURSELF. Don't be better for your partner, be better for your own divine self and your partner should be an advocate for your growth because he/she/them would want you to thrive. Blessings, gratitude, and love to anyone whose read my comment.
Me and my friend just shared our feelings about each other yesterday, it feels so serendipitous that you posted this today! Thank you for sharing this energy!
you are such an inspiration. i love hearing you speak as you speak so eloquently. every time you post i automatically get this immense sense of joy! literally, i every time i watch one of your videos i have a notebook to take some notes on things you say because they resonate with me deeply. thank you for always being so transparent and open with us all
I click so fast on your videos! So happy when you put yourself out there to share with us. Through you're amazing mindfulness you are able to put to words & give an understanding to things that are so tough. Thank you so much!
Your videos are so uplifting to me, you don’t even know. I’ve come to view you as a slightly different me, just a little farther down her path and happier for it; and gives me so much hope and inspiration. Thank you for existing and for sharing your thoughts/ journey. I really appreciate it 😭🥰💕
I was JUST talking about this stuff w my best friend. Thank you for always speaking about what is coming thru for you energetically we’re all sm more aligned than we feel sometimes💯
you are a glowing angel 😇 thank you for blessing us with this 30 min chat. I have struggled with many relationships in the last few years. I’ve been on a spiritual journey through for a while. I was clinging to the hope of emotional unavailable men and then that left me emotionally scarred. I’ve been learning so much and manifesting a new love in my life when I’m ready. I finally understand I’m not in a head space to fully be in a relationship I want and need in my life. 💞 I feel even more ready now! Thank you soo much 😘
I love your sit down videos so much! I think I subconsciously watch/listen to your videos when I'm a little anxious and within a few minutes I'm already cleaning my space and lightening candles and feel so settled I love it! Thank you for your presence 💖
Oh gosh checking in on each others emotional/personal/energetic bandwidth before unraveling anything you may want to share is soooo important. I SO agree that it helps shift the narrative from supporting one another instead of making it a core issue in the relationship. So heathy. So thankful for these videos. Love and light. 🧡✨
Love your channel Hitomi you're authentic and talk about things no one else is, you helped inspire me to hurry up and start my own, thank you I appreciate you.
So many gems and sacred rememberings in this video! ✨ I’m always super stoked when I see a new video from you, and always grateful that I watched it. Mahalo for you 🙏🏽
you don’t know how much you help me with your videos, just the things you preach and talk about stick with me and I implement it with my everyday so I am saying thank you so much for helping me spiritually. Keep doing what makes you happy. ❤️
Thank you for this. Still going through a toxic relationship that feels like a cage but growing my consciousness day by day, on my own.Wish I knew all of this a few years ago... Love you always !
wow, this is exactly what has been in my mind and what I mean all the time. And I see all these toxic relationships and friendships around me and I always feel like this and just cant pronounce and formulate it out loud. I will be sticking around this and listening to these vise words over and over again. Thank you.
Wow thank you for being authentic in sharing your wisdom and experiences it’s so admirable to see especially on a platform like this! I’ve learned so much about myself watching your videos over the years. I am so grateful for your infectious energy ❤️❤️❤️
hitomi i just want to say thank you so much for your consistent awareness and bright guidance. i am a new subscriber but your content is amazing! i am working through my healing journey rn and find it difficult to connect and be surrounded by people who refuse to progress/are not willing to grow. it is so refreshing to watch your videos, and i feel so comforted by your advice. thx for being the older sister i never had! 🤍 much love
I could cry /: you understand and feel so much of not only what i go through but what so many other ppl in the world experience and i know these are things we all need/want to hear. Thank you 💛✨
I’m the same way when it comes to my intuition. I can always feel & get vision like intuitive downloads when something up. It always ends up confirmed wether I look for it, it comes to me, or they simply spill the truth.
I’m so happy I clicked on this video cus this was exactly what I needed to hear in this moment in my life. I’ve been questioning a lot of things in life and avoiding the answers - this message really just yelled at me & it’s time I listen
This advice is so important thank you for being so open and honest with us!! My soul needed this confirmation for a lot going on in my life right now 🤍
Thank you so much for the video and for your presence Hitomi 🌿🦋✨ i was feelind kind lost and sad before watching this video! Your positive energy just lifted my mood so much (every time)🧡 thank you for being. I honor you 🧚
Every word you said resonated with my heart :) Thanks to this video I realized I wasn’t being treated as I deserve, now I feel like I am able to completely let this person go. I am eternally grateful with you!
This video has been the most inspiring & heartfelt 30 minutes I’ve needed to hear so badly. Every minute hit home. Very grateful to have come across such a wise human. 🤍 Thank You
this is SO real Hitomi, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experiences with all of us online. It takes courage! I went through similar things as you and resonate so much with your truths. You should definetly do a podcast addressing these types of topics. Relationships, healing, selfcare, navigating life through all its chapters.I think it could be extremely beneficial and empowering to us all. Lots of love and light to you, gorgeous being!!!
Thank you for this 🤍 especially the part about not having to be perfectly healed to be in a relationship. So often I convince myself that I have to have all my shit together (have my dream job, be financially stable, not suffer anymore from childhood trauma, etc) in order to have a healthy, good relationship. It’s something I’m still working on in therapy so I’m excited to see where my healing journey takes me. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us, it’s so comforting knowing we’re not alone ♥️
Thats iiiit girl!! Thank you so much for your words, Thank you for using your voice and helping so many people to understand themselves more and more in their journey🙏🏼💙 I send you lots of love
This video resonated with me so much. Thank you for always putting out empowering and uplifting content. Your words hold so much power, I can feel myself letting things go with your guidance. You’re amazing! Sending you blessings and love
Loved this video! Love is free and pure. Love i supposed to feel wholesome. Recently (A year from now) I had changed in all ways. I see love in everything and love comes in my way.
Each word you speak feels like medicine ,thank you so much for taking the time to create this with such honesty and depth 💗💗May you return to a deeper love in each moment.
YES YES YES to every single word you said! I had to be in some toxic relationships to fully see what I want and more importantly, what I don't want or seek in a relationship. Now I am in peace. In my case it took me nearly 30 years to understand this and to embrace it, I am so happy to see how you are already there even at your super young age :) love you! x
It's actually really hard to swallow some of the things you said in this video 🥲 they are true and are waking me up in my sleep of ignorance. It's easy to keep giving my SO and I excuses bc we see potential in each other, love them, or can't be alone. This is one of my favorite videos of yours, thank you for your honesty. Blessings 🥺🥺💗
This video is so timely! I appreciate your content so much, it always helps me see the path I want to be on clearly. I'm currently enjoying my solitude and working on forming daily rituals, I definitely feel tempted to start dating again but I know I want to focus on myself first. So it's really helpful to hear you reaffirm the thoughts that I've been having. ♥️♥️
I am so grateful for this and all the other videos you make talking about spirituality and the different feelings you have. They are truly therapeutic and I love listening to all your mechanisms to stay grounded and be at peace. Un abrazo enorme chama ❤️
I want to say that your videos have helped me sooo much I got out of a toxic relationship but I wasn’t the one who ended it I was depressed for months and I still am in the process of healing but you have taught me to genuinely love myself and to live a more positive life and it really has changed me as a person ❤️
plssssss start a podcast so I can just listen to your voice all day. you carry so much wisdom and love, it's insane
A podcast would be amazing from her. I hope she reads this!
I was just thinking the same thing!! She would make amazing podcasts!
100% AGREE 🤎🤎🤎
yes yes yes!!
YES START PODCAST! 😭❤️❤️ LOVE HER VOICE SO SOOTHING
Relationships are not desperate necessities, they're a rich compliment to your pre-existing happiness.
that‘s just fucking right
EXACTLY
wow
a 30 min hitomi video is medicine for the SOULLLLL
omg meg i love your channel!!!!! you and hitomi need to collab
MY TWO FAVORITE CHANNELS
truly
Yesssss🥰
seriouslyyy
“Get sexual with life” that is such a powerful statement i felt it through the screen 😍🥰❤️
Yes, but, girl it’s been awhile and counting. Had a potential but it went nowhere. 😩
True
i think she said sensual but yes
Read 'Uses of the Erotic" by Audre Lorde :)
it's one of the most powerful statements i've ever heard
it struck me like a rock
"If he wanted to he would" 👏🏽 ugh, the truth in simplicity
Hey bb I see you watch hitomi ♥️
@@ivetandresmunoz7652 hehehe what a great smile this brought me!
i love how HEALTHY this advice is!!! There are people on tiktok and even on podcasts that give relationship advice but its veryyyyy toxic and rooted in misogyny
Cough cough call her daddy cough cough
@@alyxcarson2228 Hahahahha I didn’t wanna name names but exactly
♥️♥️
“I don’t know her”, so true when you are on this healing journey and you look back at your past self
im someone with an anxious attachment wound and hearing this advice was so healing not only for my relationships but my friendships
Same
ahhh same, lots of love to u
I told the last guy I hooked up with that I needed someone more available, to hold me, to invite me over after a rough day someone who feels safe and home....he didnt really respond but was rather angry as i would not respond any more, so he was more interested in receiving my energy than actually being vulnerable with me, I was so glad I ended it early...💜
Honestly because it was just a hook-up.
be proud of yourself for being honest and open with him from the beginning! that is a healthy habit to have, and I am definitely going to start implementing this into my life
You’re not gonna find that in a hookup first of all. Unfortunately for many of us who feel needy towards partners, we gotta learn that it’s not balanced energy to treat someone like a boyfriend before they are actually our boyfriend (ie loving and committed to us on some basic level)
“Every person is God in disguise” 🤍🤍🤍🤍
Hitomi could you talk more about how you embraced and "overcame" your high sensitivity/triggers? I could totally relate to you on the office crumbs story and I want to learn how to respond in better ways instead of projecting/internalizing
Not saying that sensitivity is something to be overcome - it's a great strength. But I hope you get what I mean hehe
i relate to that also.. i have a tendacy to take things personal when i’m not fully grounded or loving towards myself.
@@tessascarlett5367 same
Offices are the worse for highly sensitive people. I'm telling you from my experience. I had to run away from there.
Yes pls tell. I'm an extremely sensitive person, I take things quite personal
"we see someone's potential more than who they actually are in the moment." yup, i needed that one.
If your internal landscape is full and wondrous, as you put it, you’ll attract likeminded people who are also full and wondrous.
Specific tips for this? 🥺
love this🤍💕😌
@@michelleamponsah7521 For me I began to look inwards for fulfillment rather than outwards. I started exploring all of my interests and passions that I had buried thinking they made me less desirable. I got more in touch with my emotions and shamed myself less for having them. I addressed past relationship traumas and my feelings around them, and tried to understand where exactly the pain I felt was coming from. I began to explore my creativity more with art, and learned to skateboard because I had wanted to since I was a child. I just began to accept myself and cultivate my interests and got to a point I was truly happy on my own. And then I attracted the right kind of attention and found someone who’s doing the same thing with their life. Whether or not you’re in a relationship it’s always important to focus on self fulfillment. Take time to do what makes you happy and pay attention to your inner child. For me the importance of my inner child lays in the fact that that was the last time I felt totally unashamed about my interests and play, was just myself, and explored the world with no preconceived ideas of how it should be. I hope that made sense, and good luck to you!
@@skystygian thank you so much for this!! 💕
This video is beautiful. My girlfriend and I watched it together and it partnered perfectly with many long conversations she and I have been having lately. It makes me so emotional to know that we have the privilege of living in a time where mental health and illness, emotional triggers, sensitivity, and safe space are acknowledged with such depth. Thank you so much, Hitomi, for sharing all that you are and creating a space for all beings to thrive and harmonize. Much love!
I have never been in a serious relationship because I always thought my expectations were too high, but this reassured me that what I'm asking for isn't that farfetched and everything happens in divine timing.
Yess I can confirm this! I was 19 when I never even had been intimate let alone sexual with someone, I thought something was wrong with me for not being interested in boys(or girls) in a sexual or romantic way, also thought I set the bar too high. But my patience defenitely paid off when I found my love who I can truly be my 100% self with and who makes me feel at home. Its more than I ever even dreamed of. I’m so glad I didn‘t settle for less:) (not saying relationships are only rainbows and sunshine because it can be hard especially when you have some trauma to work through but yes, this is also a beautiful learning space)
“Every relationship is a teacher and every person is God in disguise”
To the person reading this:
You are who you are.
You are a gorgeous and beautiful creation.
You are a masterpiece.
You are who you are.
You are strong and courageous.
You can absolutely do it.
You are powerful.
Remind yourself that you are who you are.
Move forward with your determination, and conviction.
You can absolutely do it.
Have a great day ahead,
Remember you are who you are.
❤️❤️❤️
half way through watching this, i paused the video and begun opening up to my partner about something we've been struggling with for a year now... i shared and expressed from a respectful and balanced place, usually i'm overly emotionally charged talking about it because it triggers so much pain in my heart... it is still in process, but anyway, i had a big break-through last night, and it was definitely supported by how clear and affirming i felt when opening the doors to the hard stuff - so for that, i thank you hitomi x
"My intuition is strong and I can sense when people have had a sexual connection especially who I'm in love with" you truly are a scorpio Hitomi!!
i like that idea of those inner voices of our intuition being our guardian angels
True
Yes. And I finally found a partner who I can communicate with adequately. The moment something bothers me, we communicate and fix the problem. No gaslighting. No feeling guilty for talking things out. I’m literally going to marry this girl cause the little problems that arise, we figure it out so fast.
This comes in such a perfect time, I just ended my almost 3-year-old relationship, it wasn't even a toxic relationship, but there were some things that I wouldn't take anymore, and I spoke about that several times but there was no change so I decided to leave, and this speaks so deeply to me at this moment, there are so many things I want to work and focus on myself to heal rn, Idk, I just love this video so much
I wanted to know how you are currently doing now? (:
@@nelmorris2121 me tooo
“We need relationship education in school…” I totally agree with this! I’ve talked as nauseam with friends/family about this many times when discussing sex ed reform (which I’m passionate about)! Consent and interpersonal skills are *soooooo* important and the idea that we (the US) have no national standard to teach for all to adhere to is so…🤯 to me 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you for making this video 🤍 I’m going through a breakup right now
Hang in there beautiful!! this can be a time of growth and a time to fill your own cup 💞
@SSWEETEST... are you serious?
I hope you find so much happiness in the future❤️❤️
you are worthy of loveee
Hang in there 🤎 sending love ✨
@@jenniferferreyra7893 thank you 🤍🤍
Hitomi, thank you for sharing about the importance of noticing and being mindful of your body. So relate to what you shared about your throat chakra! For a period of time, I knew I needed to end a relationship but couldn’t admit that truth, and I kept feeling like I was about to choke on food constantly. Once I spoke to this person about how I truly felt, I stopped having that choking sensation. Our bodies are so intelligent and speak to us all the time ❤️ thankful for your presence and truth!
You always seem to post things at such the right time about the perfect topics. I’ve noticed myself growing at such a fast pace spiritually and I feel like my partner and I aren’t on the same level in this aspect, it’s always hard to let go and I’m not sure when I will but this video definitely helps me out a lot. I have some things to think about! Thank you so much.
I’m going through something similar, I’ve been with my partner for almost 4 years and now it’s becoming clear that I was dating based on a lot of projections and expectations, so seeing now that we might not be as aligned as I thought (and wish) we were really hurts. I still haven’t made up my mind about whether to stay or leave the relationship, but I’ve been thinking a lot
@@luvpotion333 vocalize it!! If he is ready work on things with you, you are meant to be. If he doesnt want to put in the effort, he isnt worth it
I went through this! we were together for over four years but i began to realize deep down i was no longer as invested in the relationship. The comfort of it all was what kept me attached- it actually took me several months to finally listen to my gut and break things off. I knew i wasn't truly happy anymore and the best thing you can do for your partner is to no longer ignore that. i learned to not be afraid of change or being uncomfortable because then you will BOTH get to where you're supposed to be much faster! hope this could help !!
@@Tina-by5xx just had an amazing conversation with him, he was really open and present and I feel like I liberated myself from a lot of suffering
I feel you 100%!
When I listen to your videos, I take my journal out and write as you speak. You have such insight. I really appreciate and love your words. If you wrote a book, I would read it sis.
😭 Every time Hitomi says "I'm sending love to you" I just kinda sit there shocked and I'm like wow, thank you. Like that's so sweet of you to send love. After such healing videos I feel like I receive your love so clearly and I just have to take a moment.
Just a note that some of these online counseling services are particular about the kind of mental health struggles they are capable of assisting with. For liability reasons they often will not accept new clients that have more serious mental health struggles. Please be aware going into that! It can be hard to receive a rejection (from a therapy service no less lol) when you're already in a difficult space.
A bit about communicating without fear: if there's something irking me a little bit in the relationship that keeps popping into my mind, I'll tend to take out my phone & record myself talking through the problem I have with said thing to figure out if it's something worth communicating to my partner or something I just need to let go of. Helps me reassure myself when I do find we need to have a discussion with each other.
Needed this. I'm on this SELF LOVE JOURNEY. It's a sign of the Universe. Love u💌💌💌💌💌
When you said “I want you to feel safe in my space” tears welled up from within🌊 maybe this is something I need to hear more💖 thank you for your magic & wisdom Hitomi🙏🏽
i feel like everyone's relationship problems is they can't help but get into toxic relationships all the time and my relationship problems is I can't connect with people at all to begin with. Like at this point I wouldn't even mind a non-ideal relationship I just want to connect with someone.
@starseed-bb I understand, i feel the same way! You're not alone 💜
@@sarahcoburn5870 Thank you, it’s nice to know it’s not just me ♥︎ Logically i know it’s not just me, but social media sure does make it seem like it is
Me too! I have just never connected with anyone romantically in any way and sometimes it makes me fell like there is something wrong with me...
@@JohnPorsbjerg yeah same, that's why I'm trying to limit my social media time but kinda finding it hard 😅 yeah like I've never had a long term boyfriend and I just find myself being intensely infatuated by certain boys but then it not working out because I can't emotionally connect with them even if I really like them :(
@@sarahcoburn5870 That sucks
oh BOY. did i need to hear every word
Something I've heard from a relationship counselor, is very similar to your 'speaking up immediately after you feel constricted' is: Maybe if your hot tempered and cant keep a cool head in a certain situation, take a deep breath, step away and write it down. It helps to calm your nerves as well as telling somebody (in this case your phone or notebook) about how you really feel. And then, most importantly, take your time once a week with yout partner to talk about what might've come up during the week. Speak openly and then things will not boil over. For example you ask eachother every sunday evening if they have anything to tell you, that might've bugged them.
Hope that helps! :)
I had a conversation this weekend with a really close friend of mine about just wanting to stay friends because I'm so happy by myself at the moment, that I don't want to be dating or be in a relationship. And he keeps trying to convince me but just slightly crossing the boundaries I set. Now I'm stuck in a weird place. I really feel like I needed to hear this and to know that I can and am allowed to feel like this and set my boundaries.
When Hitomi said that she had life-ending thoughts about not vacuuming something, that exact feeling and thought process is very applicable in my relationship now. I thought I was crazy for having that mindset but after a lot of inner work for myself, I understand that those thoughts came from an insecurity and much more. My partner (who is my first relationship ever and i am 22 yrs old) and I had a very rough patch last year because I was developing a lot of mental health issues. In addition, my partner didn't know how to handle me during my chaos. It was extremely hard because I lacked the skills and knowledge to navigate through my own thoughts& emotions- so how would I be able to express to my partner my wants and needs, when I didn't know what I needed?!. But with my own self-awareness and my partner's support, we're in a much better place. I want to note that I wasn't going through therapy and I think if I did have a therapist during this time, I would have saved my partner and me a lot of hurt and trauma. In essence, the man I'm with today is a huge blessing because I am constantly met with compassion and empathy. I know that every relationship is different but I wanted to share my experience on here to let someone know that even if you are in a healthy relationship, there is still healing that has to occur. As much as you think a relationship is the end goal, it's only the beginning towards healing deeper wounds you may have never noticed. It's a matter of putting in the work and showing up for yourself. And to constantly remind yourself that the reason why you want to be better, is to better for YOURSELF. Don't be better for your partner, be better for your own divine self and your partner should be an advocate for your growth because he/she/them would want you to thrive.
Blessings, gratitude, and love to anyone whose
read my comment.
Beautifully said ❤
Me and my friend just shared our feelings about each other yesterday, it feels so serendipitous that you posted this today! Thank you for sharing this energy!
you are such an inspiration. i love hearing you speak as you speak so eloquently. every time you post i automatically get this immense sense of joy! literally, i every time i watch one of your videos i have a notebook to take some notes on things you say because they resonate with me deeply. thank you for always being so transparent and open with us all
I click so fast on your videos! So happy when you put yourself out there to share with us. Through you're amazing mindfulness you are able to put to words & give an understanding to things that are so tough. Thank you so much!
you’ve really been a massive guidance in my life. you mean so much to me and i’m eternally grateful. so much love hitomi! thank you ❤️
all of your videos have these comforting, nurturing tones
Your videos are so uplifting to me, you don’t even know. I’ve come to view you as a slightly different me, just a little farther down her path and happier for it; and gives me so much hope and inspiration. Thank you for existing and for sharing your thoughts/ journey. I really appreciate it 😭🥰💕
I was JUST talking about this stuff w my best friend. Thank you for always speaking about what is coming thru for you energetically we’re all sm more aligned than we feel sometimes💯
We’re all together on this healing journey!! Cheers to not taking less than we deserve!
I literally will use my data to watch this video while I’m out on a walk! Please start a podcasts!!!
ahaha this is such a good point!! podcasts would make Hitomi's words downloadable!
im always so grateful for your wisdom and it always has perfect timing.
you are a glowing angel 😇 thank you for blessing us with this 30 min chat. I have struggled with many relationships in the last few years. I’ve been on a spiritual journey through for a while. I was clinging to the hope of emotional unavailable men and then that left me emotionally scarred. I’ve been learning so much and manifesting a new love in my life when I’m ready. I finally understand I’m not in a head space to fully be in a relationship I want and need in my life. 💞 I feel even more ready now! Thank you soo much 😘
I literally started crying about how much I love you.
Thank you for always speaking up from your heart.
you always makes me feel grounded in myself and inspired to treat myself with love
I love your sit down videos so much! I think I subconsciously watch/listen to your videos when I'm a little anxious and within a few minutes I'm already cleaning my space and lightening candles and feel so settled I love it! Thank you for your presence 💖
Your new videos are always one of the high points of my week and are very much appreciated, Hitomi...you're a very special person indeed.
Oh gosh checking in on each others emotional/personal/energetic bandwidth before unraveling anything you may want to share is soooo important. I SO agree that it helps shift the narrative from supporting one another instead of making it a core issue in the relationship. So heathy. So thankful for these videos. Love and light. 🧡✨
Love your channel Hitomi you're authentic and talk about things no one else is, you helped inspire me to hurry up and start my own, thank you I appreciate you.
So many gems and sacred rememberings in this video! ✨ I’m always super stoked when I see a new video from you, and always grateful that I watched it. Mahalo for you 🙏🏽
Thank you for being here! I love and appreciate you and everything you do so much!
i’ve recently been obsessing over this person and within 5 minutes you’ve given me a new perspective. thank you ☺️
you don’t know how much you help me with your videos, just the things you preach and talk about stick with me and I implement it with my everyday so I am saying thank you so much for helping me spiritually. Keep doing what makes you happy. ❤️
I really needed to hear this. I'm glad you're not taking any BS and sharing these tips! Please stay safe! 🖤
Thank you for this. Still going through a toxic relationship that feels like a cage but growing my consciousness day by day, on my own.Wish I knew all of this a few years ago... Love you always !
wow, this is exactly what has been in my mind and what I mean all the time. And I see all these toxic relationships and friendships around me and I always feel like this and just cant pronounce and formulate it out loud. I will be sticking around this and listening to these vise words over and over again. Thank you.
Wow thank you for being authentic in sharing your wisdom and experiences it’s so admirable to see especially on a platform like this! I’ve learned so much about myself watching your videos over the years. I am so grateful for your infectious energy ❤️❤️❤️
hitomi i just want to say thank you so much for your consistent awareness and bright guidance. i am a new subscriber but your content is amazing! i am working through my healing journey rn and find it difficult to connect and be surrounded by people who refuse to progress/are not willing to grow. it is so refreshing to watch your videos, and i feel so comforted by your advice. thx for being the older sister i never had! 🤍 much love
Hitomi, I didn’t know how much I needed this. There were messages so pointing, that I didn’t know I needed ♥️
my queennn out here preaching straight facts 🙏
the people gotta know 💛🙌
can literally feel this soothing my heart
I could cry /: you understand and feel so much of not only what i go through but what so many other ppl in the world experience and i know these are things we all need/want to hear. Thank you 💛✨
I’m the same way when it comes to my intuition. I can always feel & get vision like intuitive downloads when something up. It always ends up confirmed wether I look for it, it comes to me, or they simply spill the truth.
I’m so happy I clicked on this video cus this was exactly what I needed to hear in this moment in my life. I’ve been questioning a lot of things in life and avoiding the answers - this message really just yelled at me & it’s time I listen
This is some of the best dating advice I have ever heard- it is all so real and relevant - thank you Hitomi!
This advice is so important thank you for being so open and honest with us!! My soul needed this confirmation for a lot going on in my life right now 🤍
you don't know how much I needed this right now, thank you girl ^^ sending you all love & good energy
Thank you so much for the video and for your presence Hitomi 🌿🦋✨ i was feelind kind lost and sad before watching this video! Your positive energy just lifted my mood so much (every time)🧡 thank you for being. I honor you 🧚
Every word you said resonated with my heart :) Thanks to this video I realized I wasn’t being treated as I deserve, now I feel like I am able to completely let this person go. I am eternally grateful with you!
You’re such a beautiful soul, thank you for sharing Hitomi. 🤍
This video has been the most inspiring & heartfelt 30 minutes I’ve needed to hear so badly. Every minute hit home. Very grateful to have come across such a wise human. 🤍 Thank You
Somehow you answer all of my questions throughout your videos, your openness and willingness to share your journey is so admirable! love you Hitomi :)
I absolutely love this. The way you spoke this message was spot on. Love your energy
this is SO real Hitomi, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experiences with all of us online. It takes courage! I went through similar things as you and resonate so much with your truths. You should definetly do a podcast addressing these types of topics. Relationships, healing, selfcare, navigating life through all its chapters.I think it could be extremely beneficial and empowering to us all. Lots of love and light to you, gorgeous being!!!
Thank you for this 🤍 especially the part about not having to be perfectly healed to be in a relationship. So often I convince myself that I have to have all my shit together (have my dream job, be financially stable, not suffer anymore from childhood trauma, etc) in order to have a healthy, good relationship. It’s something I’m still working on in therapy so I’m excited to see where my healing journey takes me. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us, it’s so comforting knowing we’re not alone ♥️
thank you so much for sharing this Hitomi - your words are so powerful and moving and filled with so much love. This is all so immensely important
Everytime I see a new video from you I always set aside time in my day to fully enjoy and learn from you, thank you hitomi 🪴
Thank you 🙏🏽 The calmness and clarity you bring to my life is so Pure and so Real. ❤️
:') as someone going through heartbreak right now, you're such a figure of light and positivity and strength to look up to. thank you for your content
Thats iiiit girl!!
Thank you so much for your words,
Thank you for using your voice and helping so many people to understand themselves more and more in their journey🙏🏼💙 I send you lots of love
This video resonated with me so much. Thank you for always putting out empowering and uplifting content. Your words hold so much power, I can feel myself letting things go with your guidance. You’re amazing! Sending you blessings and love
hi hitomi
Girl, watching you for 2 minutes manages to raise my vibration for the whole week. Love you and respect you ❤
Loved this video! Love is free and pure. Love i supposed to feel wholesome.
Recently (A year from now) I had changed in all ways. I see love in everything and love comes in my way.
Each word you speak feels like medicine ,thank you so much for taking the time to create this with such honesty and depth 💗💗May you return to a deeper love in each moment.
i love that you managed to put all my thoughts into a video!!! i feel like i'm hearing the kind of things I tell my friends i believe in
The timing of this video is extremely incredible. God really be speaking to us through people. You're an angel Hitomi ❤️❤️ Thank you 🙏🏾
Grand rising empress 🌸 hope you are all doing well. I loveeeeee you! Been watching you for years and it’s just so beautiful to see the flourish.
YES YES YES to every single word you said! I had to be in some toxic relationships to fully see what I want and more importantly, what I don't want or seek in a relationship. Now I am in peace. In my case it took me nearly 30 years to understand this and to embrace it, I am so happy to see how you are already there even at your super young age :) love you! x
It's actually really hard to swallow some of the things you said in this video 🥲 they are true and are waking me up in my sleep of ignorance. It's easy to keep giving my SO and I excuses bc we see potential in each other, love them, or can't be alone. This is one of my favorite videos of yours, thank you for your honesty. Blessings 🥺🥺💗
This video is so timely! I appreciate your content so much, it always helps me see the path I want to be on clearly. I'm currently enjoying my solitude and working on forming daily rituals, I definitely feel tempted to start dating again but I know I want to focus on myself first. So it's really helpful to hear you reaffirm the thoughts that I've been having. ♥️♥️
I am so grateful for this and all the other videos you make talking about spirituality and the different feelings you have. They are truly therapeutic and I love listening to all your mechanisms to stay grounded and be at peace. Un abrazo enorme chama ❤️
I feel my heart filling up every time I watch your videos :') Thank you for sharing Hitomi!
Hi hitomi
I want to say that your videos have helped me sooo much I got out of a toxic relationship but I wasn’t the one who ended it I was depressed for months and I still am in the process of healing but you have taught me to genuinely love myself and to live a more positive life and it really has changed me as a person ❤️