Red Flags of Narcissistic Friend
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- čas přidán 2. 02. 2017
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They don't listen. They don't let you talk, they talk over you.
Yes so true, they can go on and on and on without even pausing for breath. And when you manage to get a word in edgewise, they’ll become impatient and immediately steer the conversation back to themselves. It’s exhausting
I had a friend who would love to brag and talk about her self and her life but never listened to mine. She’ll change the subject or start talking over me or looked distracted whenever I start to talk. I’m in no contact with her now. Can breathe now.
They want to control you by burying you in their verbal discharge which is why I’m on no contact, stick to your no cont decision because going back will set you back mentally
I thought that is just being overbearing, but I guess it's a synonym.
Yes! She would talk over me and always tried to finish my sentences! Then disappear for months/years on end and then pops back up out of nowhere acting like nothing had happened and is super friendly and involved. 🤦🏻♀️
Fake friends are more dangerous than an enemy.
Hehehe,my Sekai Sensei 🐆
Yes ma'am
Ain't that the tru th
Like having a wrong map is worse than having no map at all in a foreign country.
That is so true
Narcs can be good listeners. That is how they get information to later use against the empath. They listen so that they can better manipulate and pretend to be what you need in order to hook us in. You can't be "close" to a "snake".
I have a pet.snake
Yes for sure
Even a nonpoisonous snake kills its prey. It chokes it, to death, as the boa constrictor does. REMEMBER IT'S THE NATURE OF A BOA CONSTRICTOR. A human being narcissist may do exactly the same think when he doesn't get what he wants or expects from you, clue: the house, you working and handing all your paychecks over, on and on. It's sad but you will survive to live and thrive when you separate permanently.
@Macdealerx Wrong, a narcissist can be evil.
@Macdealerx Psychopaths are narcissists and can be evil or live well. One in every person in a crowd of 20 people is a psychopath.
I ended a friendship today with a narcissist. The signs were there but I ignored them until today.
Rebecca Lucas i did not break my naracist friendship i just started to ignore and accept that they are selfish beings. I started to act the same when they are available i am when they are not i just push them out of my life for the time being. I started to see that they act the same toward every one.
Wow! I'm sorry to hear that :(
I feel like you should not be available even if they are. It's what I try doing with the narc "friend" in my life currently.
you did the right thing. you gave it what it deserves.
Rebecca Lucas I literally just did this today. Great to know that I am not alone.
Narcissist are drawn to empaths...
This is interesting. I would like to hear some elaboration on this.
It's true. I've endured 5 over the years. Two were ex's and three have been friends.
Absolutely
like my narcopath bff
Are empaths attracted to narcs too though?
Yes. I've had a "its all about me" friend. She complimented me too much, criticized all I did, constantly fought all my ideas and tried to paint me as less than her or others like her, but always wanted to know all my personal business in details. She was very jealous and yes, there was always a hint of negativity in every conversation. We are not friends anymore.
Same thing happened with me. I currently have a friend who makes everything all about her, cuts me off while I'm talking, walks in front of me so she can be in the lead and also makes me feel less than. I'm ready to cut her off as a friend.
Haha
Hey,my Sekai Sensei 🇪🇪
I have friends just like that but it’s a group and idk how to leave them and if I do I would have no one so what can I do? Please answer.
@@xxlovenvinesxx435 Join some clubs with people who share your interests. Do not introduce your old "friends" to your new ones. Keep them far away. Then drop the old friends, once you see you can make good friends.
I once was "best friends" with a female narcissist. We once went to a party together, I drove an hour out of the way to pick her up so that we could go together. At the party, a drunk girl who hated me from the get-go for no reason (I'd never even spoken to her) tried to fight me. She punched me in the face and gave me a black eye. I left the party in tears, the narcissist stayed at the party and ignored all my calls so I wound up leaving without her and driving 45 minutes back to my house. I got a call from her the next day asking me to drive back to the house where the party was held, pick her up, and drive her back home. I did it, despite the fact that she hadn't been there for me when I needed her the night before, because I felt bad for her and knew she had no other way home. It turns out that the reason she had stayed was so that she could sleep with some poor sap whom she had locked eyes on and who was giving her the attention she so desperately craved. When we finally got back to her house, she turns to me and says, "Well, BYE", gets out of the car and goes inside. No thank you or anything. Yep, glad to be rid of that one.
Rebecca Anonymous I so sorry this happened. They have so empathy
Hahaha!So Funny
Her a** would have stayed there or someone else could have taken her home.
Omg and I thought the one I just got rid of was bad....I HOPE YOUR OK NOW AND HAVE A HAPPY HEALTHY LIFE
She didn't even ask you about your black eye?
Every time I text my friends I feel like I am dying inside because the conversations are always about them but when I want to talk about something, they would take hours to reply or they would simply ignore my text and move on to talk about their issues.
Hey HUN ! take a good looong look at just WHAT you have in common with these people - and if it is healthy ?!
I had to do this and found I was being treated the same as you. Then you have to ask yourself 'Do you need them
more than they need you !? ;) All the best with some NEW friends. X
Susan Potter thank you for the advice, I have cut them off now 😌 I feel so much better on the inside 😇
Exactly!!!
I feel you (been there too).. I wish you (&myself) only really caring friends :)
Omg this is so enlightening she's always "sharing" private things about others with me. It's disgusting and I'm done
good cut her off, trust and believe she was doing the same to u
I had such a "friend", blocked now forever. My happiness and wellbeing was a reason for her to start with her drama, gossip, negativity, endless complains, stealing my time and bringing me down; full of hate, she even started to bring up things to devaluate me in front of other people, told all my secrets to others, jealous, controlling, discarding and hoovering me over few years. So happy I ended up that relation**it!
I was in a toxic friendship for five years I’m just now finding out how narcissistic she really was and it hurts me every day knowing I put up with it for so long
You are so much better off without her - now you can focus your attention on people who actually matter.
It took me a while, but I finally came to the realization that my narcissistic so-called "friend" wasn't interested in being friends at all; he was simply looking for an "admirer."
Yep! They need to be admired! It’s the pride complex in them!
My mother was a narc, my siblings were flying monkeys, my ex was a narc & our child a flying monkey. My closest friends were narcs, always needing something from me but never supporting me, constantly telling me I'm not a good enough friend, like I had to prove my worth, very jealous, always accusing me of trying to get with their bf's, drama queens. I always felt drained around these people & I eventually became seriously ill. So now I know what a narc is, I'm committed to avoiding these toxic people for the rest of my life. I'm so much happier without them.
Same...!!! Rock on!!
I find narcs are drawn to people that are believers..
Makes me think they could be possessed.
good!
@@sunshinedayz2172 - Exactly! Jezebel Spirit's. I agree. Their behaviour us Way too horrendous ..to not be demonic possession. I believe it is an Evil spirit in Them: as I have seen the change in my mother's features way too often to believe it is nt that ....a demon in them. It is the total change in their countenance to almost sneeering at people in superiority in a very spooky way....where we don't even recognise them.
Wow, spot on. Especially the part about them talking crap about everyone and you have to agree. I used to have to listen to hours of this and if I didn't agree I was met with subtle silent treatment
Everything in this video is so spot on. I used to be best friends with someone who I am now convinced is a narcissist. She is very confident in herself on the outside but crazyyyy defensive on the inside. I originally got super close to her because of her alluring, down-to-earth, likable and relatable personality. I read somewhere that a lot of narcissists are quite skilled at making people like them at first. Well, her comedic, fantastic personality (a complete facade) drew me right in. She showered me with warmth and friendship. I was so happy. Over time, her true colors came out. Sadly I wanted to stay in the "love bomb" spot forever so I just ignored the red flags when I shouldn't have.
Firstly, she was a liar. She would make up these dumb little lies for absolutely no reason and it hurt me. It hurt that someone I who called my BFF thought she had to lie to me. Even if I spoke to her in a non-accusatory way about the lies, everything would get worse. (She is also very egotistical, and basically thought she was doing the right thing all the time). Anyways, after calling her out (even politely), she would get defensive AS HELL; she would do everything in her power to defend herself, including: more lying, skirting around the situation, manipulating, gaslighting, trying to make me feel bad/guilty, using personal information against me, etc. just to avoid an apology or maybe a hit to the ego. It's like she couldn't stand looking at herself and acknowledging she did something wrong. She had zero sympathy for anything, even for giving shitty + obvious lies and manipulation. I had done NOTHING wrong.
One day, maybe 4 months after we had gotten super close, another girl (let's call her E) came along who fell into the "love bombing" situation with my friend. E gave so much praise and ass kissing to the narcissist (my bff at the time) even more than I gave. My friend enjoyed it immensely because she fed off of the wholly amount of praise that I was not giving her. I thought maybe the three of us could be friends. Eventually the two of them started being complete bitches to me for absolutely no reason. I called them out for all their shit, especially the girl who I thought was my best friend, and I never spoke to either of them again. Yes it broke my heart into a million pieces to let my bff go, but I couldn't stand being around such a toxic, mean person. I shouldn't have ignored those initial red flags.
Leah Martin Wow, "E" was fresh supply, and fed her..Im so sorry you got hurt, been there, I just let 2 loong time BFF' s go, I realized how toxic and disingenuous the friendships were, I refused to be poisoned by these ppl, and I'm happier now, bt oh so careful abt who I let in my space..
I'm glad that you're happier now! I am too. It's nice knowing that there's not someone out there to get you, to hurt you on purpose. It's even better to learn from the road bumps of our lives and let all of the anger go and move on. Also it's so brave that you've shed not one but two toxic people. Good for you girl !!
Leah Martin Leah I read your message love. I went through the exact same thing with twice the intensity.i feel you girl.
Let it go Leah, they're not worth it. God will never forgive those bastards. Never. I feel you
The amount of times i said "yesss me too!" When reading this is unreal. Took me four years to stop being hurt over the narcissistic friendship i had to end. Sucks having a weakness of trying to see the good in people even when it's not really there.
When I would cry she would sit there and stare at me with dead eyes and sometimes, a slight smirk would appear. She used my family (or lack there of) against me, copied everything I did and then discarded and discredited me and everything I did. Watching this with a smile on my face because the worst is over and I see things for what they are now! Great video thank you for sharing 💛🌼
That non-reactive totally-detached listening! I had heard some bad news from my narc home and was venting my rage and frustration. This "friend" to whom I had confided my troubles just a few days earlier and had shown a sympathetic ear then, just walked by my side and did not say a single word or even have a sympathetic/empathetic expression on her face. Nothing like even "it's okay. don't worry."
And for a long time I was stunned by that reaction alone. That you can literally see someone in distress, in pain and NOT REACT in any way ?
And at another point, when I was laughing, she out of nowhere - "did you hear from your home?" Oh really ? YOU are concerned if I heard from home ? You're just upset that I am happy and the narc in you wants to see me sad and reminds me that I have troubles.
" She used my family (or lack there of) against me, copied everything I did and then discarded and discredited me and everything I did. " - I have another "friend" that is in this process now. I hope , being able to recognise it now, will be of use.
Seeker024 they thrive off of your sadness, so make yourself a promise to rise. You are worthy and whole and a product of kindness and growth. It’s not easy but you must and you can 💛💛💛💛
Yes! After having known her for about five years, my so-called friend started exhibiting those signs over the last year or so. Then I got really uneasy when I found out that she was copying my reasons for not being able to do certain things and using them as excuses for herself. She completely ignored my email when I told her that my nephew had just died and another day when I talked to her about it she showed a complete lack of compassion or any kind. The odd thing is that she had me convinced for quite a while that everyone thinks I'm aloof & unfriendly (which I'm not at all) and I started to feel really morose and very low, until I realised what was happening.
I've been going grey rock for a while now and she's tailed off considerably (her new best friends are wonderful, btw, lol), but now it's time I put a block on it. It's great to hear that the worst is over for you too; me too and I'm starting to feel a lot more like myself again. :)
FoxyDevonLady thank you for this! I can identify with pretty much all of this... they to take and fake your assets and when they realise they can’t, they go on smear campaigns to make you appear to be who they are ( boop, they’ve been clocked and had to do a runner!!) life is too short to get caught up in these people’s rubbish. I am too rediscovering myself and working on what I want 💛✨🌻
Omg yes experienced that too she slyley smirks feeds off my reactions to her venom. Belitteling me walking ahead of me. Critcsizing me. The staring at me if I'm emotional. Then showing like they care with logical solutions to then turn round and critcicsizing you in the next breath. Dropping you like your nothing. Blanking your calls. Talking behind people's backs . Omg she's very fake. She has alot to say about people negatively. She's a terrible jealous gossiper. Very narcissistic. Her last rant was against me bc she received a traffic fine. Totally nothing to do with me. Yet she rang me up one morning to take it out on me. Texting me b.s. and going on about me having no right to my statement about constantly paying tax bills. Ranting how I've had free money from benefits for years. Total lies! I've worked not all my life no but I've studied gone to college took manual jobs and professional ones. She sounded jealous bc she's had to survive while completing a degree and needing to rent privately bc I had children and was renting a house or two. Like I chose to live thst way. Without trying to. She's bitter and relentless at putting me down. Has alot of hatred for some reason yet claims to care. I thought I was going crazy until I discovered Narcissisism as a reason for her behaviours.
This message illustrates exactly what a close friend did to me, I shared my problems with her and she did support me at that time of need. But later on she started using those same things I told her against me and putting me down constantly, It was so confusing because it didn't make any sense to me, that one time she was this amazing friend that came to my rescue when I most needed support but the next minute she becomes this horrible and manipulative friend that kept putting me down by telling me that I wasn't good enough and would try to fix my flaws all the time....
But I moved on although she tried to get back into my life, I'm just not interested .
Hurt people hurt others and Sad people make other people sad. This experience thought me to analyze and select wisely who is allowed closer into my life.Nothing wrong with being selective
M DosSantos I can relate 100 percent especially in the no interest part.
Once my narc bestie of 40 years had no use for me, the neglect and exclusion kicked in. Finally, I was having a serious mental breakdown and asked her for help, her response was, "Oh, yes. A chat is in order.", and proceeded to avoid me. I was so crushed and by that time, I'd had a bellyful of her ego. I ended the friendship and was devastated, but after a short while I felt fine because how can you miss someone who was never truly "there" for you? Your upload here nailed her down. I feel even better. Thank you.
Good point about the passive listening. They listen, but there's no empathy and that was my experience growing up with my narc mother.
Just experienced this yesterday. This description is so accurate. Also the pain causing stage. Got that one yesterday too. She scored a direct hit (a random move from far left field, plucked out of thin air at the time) & tipped me completely off balance in a cruel move. This vid explains some of what I couldn't make any sense of. She definitely got a kick out of watching the pain and hurt she caused me in that unexpected moment - it's that power thing again. Twisted & Horrible.
Breakthrough Moment hmmmmm....passive listening 🤔 I've dealt with this with other friends as well....it's such a strange phenomenon 🤔😳
Trust in the Lord with all your heart..........God will never leave us. I pray for God's healing for of us who have been abused by these. narcissists. God bless everyone!
@Mary wolfe- spot ON! Exactly- sadly we live in such times.
I lean into Proverbs 2
Very much;
About deliverance from such people.
Jesus showed up to deliver me from constant reading of Psalm 91; with a vision of his shield from constant reading of this psalm +
Ephesians 6 of his Shield of protection ...so I mean on that hope if constant scripture....
Jezebel is a for bit she can be beaten with FAR stronger POWER from out Lord Jesus Christ.
But I needed far more due to a whole life of this; with a psychopathic (Very covert spiritual psychopath mother) -
These HORRENDOUS life situations we were born into,; put us far more into God's hands and onto his Rock, Strong tower & His deliverance a mighty Power...
& seeing how much I lent on my own and my own idolatry of people & why it was previously so hard as I was so locked into them & THEIR approval blocked out all else. I used to lean on people apart from Him. .. till this = a massive blessing and deliverance
Don't you feel?
Bless you. I am trying to do this myself & completely Rewrite scripts of reliance on man
With EMDR & Christ.
I can't see any other way as it has been so deeply ingrained ,(the narcissistic brainwashing & Stockholm Syndrome) of childhood-
To complete my turn away.
For myself,; complete rewriting of old script is the only way to be happy & moreover FREE.
I think a good sign of a narcissistic friend is one who doesn't care about your feelings if a conflict arises or they do something hurtful and you bring it to their attention. A narcissist won't care about your hurt, your pain and won't acknowledge they caused it.
Exactly!
A narc friend of mine would throw those pity parties. At first I was concerned and confused at what I did wrong, then I decided to ignore their performance and then they stopped talking to me hahahah
Yesss. To everythinggg. The discard phase is so painful. When I went searching for answers on the loss of my narcissistic friend, wondering what I did wrong, I discovered the topic of narcissism, and toxic friendships. I never saw it coming. This just describes my once "best friend" to a "T." Another sign is the way a narc friend makes you feel when you are in public vs. private. My narc friend withdrew from me in public and pinned the blame on me once we were in private. It was really twisted and I questioned my perceptions until the rough discard.
DarthxErik me too!!!!
Hearing this, it reminds me of my a friend I had. She always like to say she saved me from being friendless. Always about her, never heard me out. She ended the friendship when I finally said "No" to her after she asked for one of her favors.
Maria L. Ramos Wow..same. I can relate!
I have a friend that always talks about herself, Cuts me off while I'm talking, Walks in front of me so she can be in the lead and also turns her nose up at my wedding plans than turns around and tries to force her ideas on me. I have had enough and it makes me not want to be around her.
You deserve better.
You are not alone...!!! I know that type of friend...only talks about herself and cuts you off if I start to say anything!!! Finally after years & years, I have had enough. Went no contact! Then a month later she tried to get back in...I emailed her and told her I am done. What a great feeling...best thing I ever did for myself.
Pleas dorn camparw me to nisha
@@mjblue84 So glad you were able to be done with her. I cut mine off too and never looked back
But theres so many of them about these days...😨
Why Alice?
YES like RATS
Michelle, I know you've already thought of this, but, isn't it just sad that at the point at which you find out that the love you thought would last a lifetime, you also find out that girlfriends you'd had for many years were equally as toxic. A double or triple whammy heartbreak. Ugh! 🤕. Spot on as usual hon.
Karen Thompson yes it makes you feel very alone
fluffieDOOM You're so right..we are actually alone and I love the "nuke proof". That's what I'm talking about!!!! 😎
yet clears out and can furtger discern to bring new ones into that space that will not dominate and abuse and control..and care not to...but hurts, to know how bullying ones are.
I feel so robbed after 5 years with a NARC and I've lost everything and everyone. I don't regret having a son with her because of how amazing he is but having lost my son and all the time a lost with my mother whom died well we were together. Now that I think about it I had to ask her twice to come be with me at my moms as she took her last breath 😞 This is actually when I started to notice the very real personality differences from her and normal people. As I recognized the mirroring after mom died then I was put into the devaluing stage well I was greiving . I then noticed all the secret behavior and began to follow my instinct which made things worse on a epic toxic level but I didn't want to be the fool. She projected everything I thought, ask her, accused her of and twisted it around back on me. Now I went from who I thought she resected because I am a very very careing, honest, loving and empathetic person. Above all else I was raised to have and hold true to this day very strong family values and morels for myself. Things are catastrophic at this point and little to my knowledge she was spreading rumors for everything that I said nice about her or kept hiding to protect us she exploited and just slandered the hell out of me. So she assumed the victim role and has played it quite nicely I'm entering into a custody battle I live alone and when I mean alone I feel so alone not much Family Support left not many friends I care to have in my life anymore and she continues to retaliate hurting me more financially spiritually mentally. I do love that there are so many people helping others with this topic and hope to do so myself once the storm clears or if I make it through it....
Absolutely Michelle totally you've got it , Iv had all and more of what you tell. And with female narc friends. They are hard work.
Be careful and critical if you get in contact or involved with someone who is a stranger or is unknown to you.
It's so funny and validating to hear other people tell these stories, confirmation that others have gone through this too. Left a "best" Friendship six months ago because of a lot of these things. Great video, thanks for sharing!
I had theeeeeeee ullltimate narc savage demon draining me spiritually for years. It's been over a year no contact and it's been amazing but I still suffer residual animosity
AHHH I get ya Sis . ;) What u have to do now..is 'keep spitting out all that frustration - until it runs clear - and then some.' As it is only the poison you have absorbed from them - you are getting rid of. x
Same here. 2 yrs and I go over the situation in my head every day
This woman befriended me, I never felt comfortable with the relationship, she wanted to become my best friend only knowing me for three weeks.
Everything you mentioned she is. Thank you for the information
psychic vampires they lack an inner core drain you and use your energy avoid lonely losers with no structure to their lives with few friends no job no adult responsibilty they will sponge off of you and cling for financial and emotional support maybe a narc but sounds like clingy adult baby
I have met these, they can be very annoying toxic and damaging, especially if Youve known these peeps. the problem with Society its hard avoiding all of them for example, there are many Women in work fields who are narcisistic and ”competing” and stuff. I sense them from miles. I am an Empath and I have become very protective of myself and my energy. SPOT ON SPOT ON and something else, they make you feel bad about yourself, Subliminally or ”accidentally”. if you know them long enough, you realize these ”friends” are severely Jealous and just want people to cater to them. Many of these Ns women types or Histrionic, choose Empathic and Compassionate women on purpose, just to COPY thme/You, STEAL stuff from you... work, your social circle... boyfriends, etc. Like every Narcisist, they lack an IDENTITY SELF so they try to steal Yours and ”compete” with you. Creepy people. Very true what yu said - they are CONSTANT NEGATIVE PEOPLE - Always FEED OFF DRAMA ... they need Drama like Air.
Sadly you may be referring to people who have been gaslighted to the point of losing their identities. That's what happens with narcissistic abuse...they BECOME narcissists...but they weren't before so your post is a bit mean and ignorant. Narcissism is a contagion. It spreads like frikken zombies so if people don't know what is happening then it just keeps spreading and they don't realise they've become the same thing and act out in the same ways. It's sad for them. Some compassion is due but that doesn't mean you have to be around them. Imagine how scary it must be for THEM..having been robbed of their identities. I was badly abused last year and gaslighted by a guy and it felt like I lost my identity. It was terrifying. I've spent the last year trying to get that all back.
how about the religious narcissist? To me it really hurts when they say they are praying for you and how much they love you etc. and then you don't hear from them unless they need someone. This is all so sad to me!
I'm a Christian. I've had a couple of friends like that. Very confusing and upsetting.
Oh yes...I know that type too well. Best thing is to set your boundaries...cut the line and no contact. People can "SAY" things...but it's their ACTIONS that tell the truth about who they really are.
Thank you! I had to re-evaluate a friendship from childhood that I know now for sure how very bpd and npd she was my whole life. After 44 years I am free!!!
Always very one sided
Yah, mine went into a rage when I finally tried to speak up. And of course, guilt trip of how DARE I speak up. Lil brat could do cocaine and lose her home and mommy would fix it all and hide it; but how dare I not tolerate abuse f my fam or her. So rich and overentitled, her and her friends; they complain about everything as its already beyond top luxury treatment. Spread horrid lies about me when endangered, as attacked me when calling to share it. I am glad to know they would let me die and lie about it, covering up for criminals. How low ones can go. How dare I speak up of a stranger, rapist, stalking me. Yep..that low..
Freetobe Me same here 26 years for me
Same here!! After 40 something years I cut the line!!! Best thing I ever did for myself!!! Isn't freedom great?
Congrats!!! I had the same thing happen recently. They will be back but dont let them back in!!
Wow, talk about synchronicity. Before, toxic people used to confuse me; I didn't understand them at all. Then I got into a friendship with a man who was so toxic, and caused me so much emotional pain, that I started researching it. Then the epiphany: I learned about Narcissist Personality Disorder, which fit my friend to a T, and then I realized that my Dad had NPD, and all the unconscious wounds of my childhood were revealed to me. I finally freed myself from the NPD friend, and then slowly but surely, I realized there were three other female friends in my life who were very narcissistic/toxic. One by one, I am ending my friendships with these people, and have vowed to myself to never again allow toxic people in my close circle of friends. The real wake-up call for me was finally realizing that true narcissists NEVER change: even if they intermittently do something nice or kind, they will ALWAYS revert back to taking joy out of hurting and demeaning others and causing them pain in a myriad of ways. I am blessed in having a number of friends who are real friends with empathy, kindness and true support and caring. I look forward to seeing my new more-beautiful universe open up to me once I am totally freed from these toxic people. Thank you for your videos. They are very enlightening and helpful.
Congrats!
Narcs are enlightening and helpful.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND THIS VIDEO YOU POSTED! I DEALT WITH A FRIEND LIKE THIS FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS OF MY LIFE, I KNEW IN MY HEART FROM THE VERY FIRST MOMENT OF OUR FRIENDSHIP THAT THIS PERSON HAD TRUE DARK HATE IN THERE HEART AGAINST ME, BUT AT THE SAME TIME ACTED LIKE THEY NEEDED & VALUED OUR FRIENDSHIP. I COULD'VE ASK THIS PERSON FOR ANYTHING AND 9 TIMES OUT 10 THEY WOULD GIVE IT TO ME. THEY ALWAYS MOST TIMES FOR HOURS TALK ABOUT THEM SELVES BUT WHEN I MENTION OR EVEN THINK TO MENTION THINGS POSITIVE ABOUT MY LIFE OR THINGS TO COME IN MY LIFE I WILL FEEL SUCH A INTENSE ENERGY OF HATE AND OR DARKNESS, EVERY TIME GOD GAVE ME THE STRENTH TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE FRIENDSHIP A ABUNDANCE OF BLESSINGS POURS IN MY LIFE! ARE THEY DEMONS? OR A PERSON WHO HAS A DEMONIC HEART? ANYWAYS IM SO HAPPY THAT I FINALLY REMOVED MYSELF FROM THEM, AND WHEN I DID THIS PERSON KEPT CALLING ME, KEPT CALLING, ALMOST LIKE NO YOU NOT GOING TO GET A AWAY AND LIVE A BLESS LIFE! THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING DEEP IN THEY'RE HEARTS.......BEING IN A FRIENDSHIP WITH ONE LIKE THIS CAN BE VERY CREEPY SOMETIMES, ITS BEEN TIMES WHERE I FELT THAT THIS PERSON WAS A REAL ACTUAL DEMON.........
Thanks for this great piece. Beware when a narcissistic boyfriend laughingly refers to you as a mess in a dress, when feelings and opinions elude you, beware of a friend who eggs you on to put someone else down in order to tell the other person what you said, wonder about a friend's silence when you mention something good in your life.
I am wondering if the "best friend" I had since Junior High was a Narcissist, because it seemed like I was a second wheel in the relationship. She ghosted me almost ten years ago when she moved to Texas and next thing I knew wouldn't talk to me, would e-mail me, and didn't give me her phone number when she moved. I never knew what happened, and now I wonder just what kind of real "friend" she really was. I knew her for almost 20 years. I thought she was like the sister I never had, and that she and I would always be friends. The worst thing is the fact that I haven't been able to form any real close relationships that were even close to my relationship with her. Depressing.
Jenn East I'm so sorry you had to go thru that, the friendship can feel soo genuine and sincere, bt it wasn't, she was probably just acting, mirroring you, you will find new friends, REAL friends, best wishes..
She remind of my brother best friend
they pull away when they find new supply it is not about you personally they find new " friendships " to give them praise new people are more easily manipulated she should have told you why she ended the friendship but narcs never do because they never want to take responsibity for what they do it is a way to make other people feel like they did something wrong knowing someone for many years is especially difficult because you bonded after this happens lack of trust sets in
The sudden shift in the friendship once you realise your worth is so true .
I've had "friends" that I've helped out a lot, only to have them steal from me in the end. They would get mad about something "I did" and then they won't talk about what's upsetting them. That word (no) can cause narcissistic injuries. Then they're just waiting to get back at you for, not doing that one thing they wanted you to do for them, that one time. They actually think you're wronging them for not doing and thinking everything they say. It's odd that a person can feel that entitled.
I am struggling so much in this area. I have almost given up on having friends, becayse if how one sides it gets. I am worked on my codependency but DAMN, I still attract narcs for friends.
Had this with family, relationships and friends, even neighbours. I always said, I must have mug written on my forehead. I was trained well by the upbringing I had, so no wonder I kept meeting the same type of people and finding myself in another draining, even hugely troublesome situations they made. It's very hard to look back and see that you meant nothing to these people, except what they drained from you, which showed when I was most in need, like illness and hospital situations, they acting as if nothing happened, nowhere to be seen. Not that I want fuss, but it was all about them. Very different people without a supply, though. Shrivelled. It's amazing how many of them are prowling around. Youe always spot on. I really appreciate your videos.
This is totally what my friend has been recently these past couple months.
Wow!!! Confirmation.. Ive met someone recently like this.. it's only been a week and this guy is just as you explained. I'm running for dear life! Thank you so much
Just learn how to give good head and you can have any man you want.
They drain your energy and tear your soul apart. Beware. Great video
The father of my son changes friends and partners very often...I would be exhausted to live in such a chaotic roller coaster. I realised how shallow on his side those relationships are. I was not only single but extremely lonely in our "marriage".He calls his employees his friends, however they are not treated as friends by him. First of all you don't pay your friends. That is ridiculous...
Ha, that just sounds like my son's father too...he does just the same. Something I could never understand about him is why he would totally trust a bloke he'd just met in a pub and yet distrust those who support him. He'd inevitably get conned and yet never learnt a lesson from it. I haven't had anything to do with him for the last five years or so, but I'm willing to bet that he hasn't changed after knowing him for forty odd years.
A lot of the same tactics the narc uses on a lover. They are manipulators and users. My ex narc was initially so sweet to her friends and would initially do and say so many amazing things for them to make them love her meanwhile she would talk shit about all of them behind their backs.
She also would make friends with someone who had issues, i.e. a victim of abuse, a single mother, someone with no family, etc. You will always end up giving way more than they did as their friend. I've seen her go through circles of friends and she is now on her 3rd group of "besties"
Yessss!!!! You're spot on. They are ALWAYS looking for ways of making "friends" with people in vulnerable positions- or people who are well accomplished who they plan to destroy and downplay, copying people they "can't stand", always trying to appear happy but really are soulless and malicious, energy suckers.
Kayla-Marie so true kayla. Fucktards
Omg you are so right. They move on from best friends to new best friends and they always call every chick they are friends with her "Best friend." it is a revolving door of "best friends" LOLOL wtf is with these ladies!
I made a friend from a group that we attended, she was married and we had common interests. She started love bombing - to quote ' i just had to get to know you and here we are'
Covered personal issues with her and her marriage, i was her shoulder to cry on, did favours for her etc. Now she is typical ghosting and generally distant. A big change in character -textbook sociapath? Good video which highlights a lot of this persons traits
Thank you, Michelle, for those conversational examples with a narc "friend". When talking with my former narc "friend", if I made a somewhat negative statement about something, the narc would repeat it back to me but such that it became a hugely distorted all-encompassing evil statement that I would never dream of. For example, I might say about a mutual acquaintance: "He seems to be struggling with his new duties, and it's a pity he is reluctant to reach out for help", and his response would be: "I believe people should be allowed to suffer consequences of their own errors and incompetence". It felt like he enjoyed muddying me up with his overwhelming darkness. But he only dared express that darkness after the idealization stage, when the trauma bonding made it more difficult for me to see clearly that he is nothing but a petty and cruel person, and so, however reluctantly, I stayed in that toxic "friendship". (I hope you did decide to get "The Good Liar",
and I hope it has not been a disappointment.)
Two narcissistic friends in one year. Both dropped out of my life in a blink of an eye, no explanation, no reason, nothing. It threw me into the BIGGEST bewildered place!!! I'm actually glad now that they both removed themselves. Kind of like taking out their own trash. 🤷🏻♀️ I pray for these women but I do NOT want them back in my life.
OH oh oh the rumination! The continual questioning of my thoughts / actions / behaviour! No more! I am so done!
I always listen to my friend and give her advice and all but lately I can’t even trust her to talk about my problems because she always changes the topic back to herself quickly when I try to but she always tells me she’ll be there for me and I feel guilty confronting her🤦🏻♀️
This is so exact. I’m in such a toxic relationship with my best friend and I don’t know what to do anymore. This made me want to cry because she has put me through hell and she doesn’t even know it. Thank you so much for making this video!!
💯 true. I spent way to long with a friend like this. So toxic and bad. Once you really realize this it blows your mind. I've gone no contact. It's done over. I've been replaced I'm sure and it's fine. I needed to see for myself. I would rather be alone than deal with one more minute of being drained. Especially with the negative talk about others. I never realised that they are probably talking shit about me too. It's so sad and these are very very sick people! Thanks so much.
This is really interesting so thank you for this! I'm a strange sort of person who love bombs naturally and pretty much a constant in that way which can cause a great deal of hurt, especially if you meet someone similar.. but then they suddenly change and you feel so cut off or even devalued or ridiculed. I've had some really confusing times where afterwards I'm in tears and unsure what is going on, but then broach your feeling sad to be told "it's all about you" when it's the first time you've ever reached out 😔
So 'spot on' and important to hear it put into words (over and over) to counteract the lifelong conditioning many of us have had.
BTW, glad that you've removed the intrusive, jarring ads.
Thanks for another helpful vlog, Michelle.🌸
I know someone that was always trying to prove they were right about things when we disagreed.
Had a friend who've I've known on and off since high school enter my life 2 years ago. She's always been super sweet and her and her young son have always been a part of our family~ we LOVED having her around. She was funny, humble, beautiful, engaging, kind.....but this last time that she came into my life her and I really got close. She was so affirming, complimenting me on my job, my artwork, how wonderful and talented she thought I was....it was wonderful to have a friend think so highly of me, me being insecure and always questioning myself. We started talking just about everyday. Thing was she was always in and out of relationships, always getting sexually abused by people, boyfriends, employers, she was always having bad health problems....it was insane. I felt SO bad for her and just felt Satan was just all over her life...now I wonder if any of that health stuff was REAL. We also started attending a bible study together which was so nice! God and faith is something we had in common. Well, she had a run in with another woman in the study and her and another girl in the group made a scene and then left the study and were furious that the teacher wouldn't do what she thought they should do with the situation. It was all very upsetting. After that blow-up at the Bible study....not a peep from her. I texted her to see if she wanted a ride to the next study (I didn't know she had left for good).....the other girl she'd latched onto was the one who ended up telling me that she wasn't returning to the study group and that she also left that church it was being held at 😳 no call. No explanation. Haven't heard a PEEP from her in 2 years and honestly don't want to. WHO wants a friend like this?!?! It ruined me for a few weeks but then I moved on. Crazy thing is she's said her dad (who's re-married) is a narcissist....hmmm.....interesting 🤔
I am so glad I found this video. I have no words to show my gratitude. You are a God enlightened Lady . THANK YOU A LOT👐👐
Yeah, my last "best friend" was a narcissist. I grew my hair out long and healthy, and it was so beautiful and it took me a long time to get it that good, and she intentionally destroyed it when I was happy with it. It is a very long and messed up story. It involved many many lies, manipulation, tears, pressure ect ect and then later after my hair was destroyed I confronted her about her behavior, because lies were unraveling ect, and she admitted it to me!! "Yeah, I bring people down, that is me" She admitted it to me like it was nothing! I had to shave half of my head and cut the rest boy short, but before that I went through hell for years because of what she did trying to save my hair and it looked like shit. Literally the color was brown green ect....
I was always loving, supportive and wanted her to be happy. I still feel betrayed. I hate her now. I am so so sick and tired of these types. My mother was histrionic sociopath I believe, she was diagnosed multiple personality disorder but she had absolutely no remorse or counsience, and she did shocking unspeakable things regularly. I think they misdiagnosed her, I have researched that happens sometimes when someone is diagnosed multiple personality disorder. My father was more of the narcissist. He was bad but not as bad and toxic as my mother, yet he was very bad in another way. I am always attracting these types as a adult. I am at a point, where I am so damaged I am afraid of any kind of relationship with anyone. I really want to break this cycle more than anything now!! I am done! Thanks for this video. Take care lady
Oh my gosh! This sounds so much like some friends I've had/have. Especially the one sided relationships. Everything is about me, me, me! Never really listening to you. When you talk about your accomplishments, they interject and makes it about them again. Why do I attract these types of people?
Your lesson in this is to learn how to stand up for yourself and set your boundaries. I attract those types as well...(we are empaths). After years of putting up with a one sided manipulative friend, I cut the line. No contact.
Best thing I ever did for myself. Know your boundaries!!!
It’s kinda sad that my “best friend” does all of these
I don’t wanna lose my best friend but at the same time I feel like it’s for the best
Hi Michelle and thank you for sharing this video! I finally went no contact from a toxic / narcissist now ex friend whom I'd known for several years. Ever since I've gone no contact with my ex friend, I feel a whole lot happier, living a drama and stress-free life :) I also changed my phone number as an extra measure of safety, so my ex friend can't hoover me back into his so-called *fake* friendship :)
Its hard when she's the only friend you have. She also has a similar background, with a narc mother, and was coming out of a marriage to a narc at the same time as me, so she gets that side of things. But, yeah...she has cut me off completely before, because she suddenly decided I wasn't her friend, and was only interested when things were wrong in her life! She eventually made contact again and we moved past that, although I don't yet fully trust her not to do that again! But, what bothers me the most now, is that I can't talk to her about anything that bothers me, in relation to her or our friendship. The last time I told her (in a text) about something she did that bothered me, she freaked out, totally overreacting, and making me out to be the one at fault (I had felt she had been putting me under pressure to do what she wanted). She overdramatised the whole issue, though, while accusing me of doing so! If she had just said: "I'm sorry I made you feel like that. I didn't mean to.", I would have been happy, and it would have been over. Instead, it went on for ages, and although we moved past it, it was never resolved. Could she be Borderline, or does it sound more like NPD?
Oh my God! It was only yesterday that my "so called friend did exactly that!! She belittled me the worst possible way in front of her new friend!!!!! What a toxic individual!!! What an evil person she turned out to be!!! It was the very first time after so many years that I stood up for myself and told her straight to her face that I can no longer put up with her negativity and toxicity!!! She did the exact same thing to me two years ago and last year too, but I thought that she had a bad day or a rough time with herself!!! Yesterday, when I noticed the way she was looking at me and talking about my having gained weight persistently because her own son had told me a few minutes before how very lovely I looked, I just couldn't take it anymore!!! I told her to shut the f***k up!!! She was infuriated and started to scream how ugly I look, what a piece of shit I am, that I should feel ashamed of myself and of my values, that noone likes me, that my ex discarded me due to my nasty character and that I don't deserve to live a happy life!!! Michelle, you have no idea how very painful it is to discover that she is so fake!!! Now she is trying to turn her mother against me because she knows how deeply she loves me and I love her!!! I am so very afraid that she will try to tarnish my reputation and harm me!!! I know she is digging my grave because FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN YEARS I told her to shut her big mouth!!! And after the fight I sent her a text explaining that I cannot put up with her jealousy anymore and I will never again allow her to spew venom on me, and she said that I AM JEALOUS OF HER AND THAT I NEED TO BE EXAMINED BY A DOCTOR!!! SHE SAID THAT SHE WAS TRYING TO BELITTLE ME OUT OF LOVE!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! It hurts so very much to know that I trusted a snake, a viper in disguise. She knows too much about me!!! What am I supposed to do, Michelle? Please help me!!!
I had a friend like this. We were friends for 20 years and about two years ago I just stopped talking to her because she just wanted to hurt me. Another thing that all narcissists do is project what they are feeling into you. Like it's you doing or saying things but really it's them.
You get to feel like you are a 'Dump Site' or a Landfill ?!?!? Sooooo WHEN you start to feeeel like that - then you plan..to dump them and go no contact. Obey ...your...GUT !!! ;)
Disregarding your boundaries...even in a good way. I told my friend I didn’t want her to buy this necklace and she said she didn’t care she was still going to... Even though I was Clear about not wanting it.
Spot on! I’m over my narcissistic “friend”. All you said is completely true.
Do you dread spending time with them? Then you know what they are! It really is that simple.
Right on girlfriend! That very same thought is how I assess people in my life. If they build you up and improve the person you are then they can stay. Otherwise hit the road jack!
This is getting spooky. Just finished dishes and thought I wonder if Michele did a video tonight. Grabbed my phone and there was my CZcams notification from you.
So accurate to all the points made in this vodeo. I have watched many videos on this subject and must say this is one of the best!
Man !!! So this !!! I went and confided about my narc mom at the point of most-heartbreak right into this new-found, brimming with love NARC friend ! Ouch !
I just broke off my friend of 4+ years.. and this is why.
This is possibly the only video I have seen about this topic where you have addressed narc qualities and characteristics that aren’t so noticeable, but PRESENT. Thank you.
you are so beautiful and speak so eloquently
Would you like to get to know her better?
@Mgtow Boo Boo Why troll her for her comment? Starved for attention, are we? So, here it is. Are you watching this channel for insight on yourself? Your name suggests it. Have a nice fucking day.
I came here thinking I was the narcissist friend hoping to learn and change. This video made me realize he was. Thank you.
It happened few time that i had spent all afternoon with this friend and she would appear open and even close in conversations and she would just say bye in cold way without friend kind of greeting. It's hot and cold treatment - sometimes with proper greeting sometimes just bye like she disposes of you and moves on to a meeting with another friend.
More on this subject please! Always really good videos. Thank you!
You are the most beautiful woman (inside too!) I have EVER watched.
Thanks for all you do. I have SO Wasted my life. (32yrs).
I had a friend who was a true Jekyll and Hyde, very violent and volatile, she was like a rip current constantly sucking me back in to her web. I finally pulled out of the friendship when she damaged my vehicle, I had to stop my life and now I am really free from her grip. Thank you again for your videos.
Yeah my ex-friend who I'm ghosting always needs attention and admiration and when I'm in need or going through something Shes mia..bye felicia
SPOT ON.....SHE WAS ALL OF THE ABOVE...I just did the discard I’m so proud of myself......I’ve finished a 22 year old friendship with an extremely toxic narc who was set on destroying my soul...I finally woke up....life’s to short to have to deal with these demons.
You’re the only one that understands me! That’s always a good one cos you feel every time the phone rings they have no one else. It makes you feel obligated. You’re easy to talk to that’s a positive thing, being the only one that sets my warning bells off!
Michelle thank you! This is just what I was looking for I have a toxic narcissistic friendship I’m in and need to be out of
I had a friend that called herself an empath. I was living with a narc sister and going through hell. This particular week I started a new job while having a migraine and on chemo. I didn’t sleep the whole week. That Friday I had my friend wanted to come over to walk around my neighbourhood. I told her what a bad week i had so after our short walk I’d be sending her home. We sat on the lawn and I actually started to fall asleep. She was angry I wasn’t listening to her. In the morning she texted me that I was toxic and I had a real problem since I couldn’t stay awake to hear her. ✂️✂️✂️✂️Goodbye Ms Narc!
Just lost a friend I thought was my best friend due to a narc. He ended up throwing all my personal stories I thought were safe to my S.O even though our problems had nothing to do with the matter at hand. Stirred up the pot a tiny bit but thankfully my partner saw right through it. Very sad. I'm realizing I have been attracted to narcissists and.. it's just too bad.. so thankful for your videos, I watch them everyday and have learned a lot. I am learning how to protect myself more and more
Amen! You nailed my X friends behavior! TY
I am crying my heart out... It took me 20 f****g years to find out that my so called best friend from college is a narcissist... 😭😭😭😭... As an empath it took me so long to get rid of this friendship... I remember my heart was always wanted to break up with her but how she was loved by my family that my mother always told me to not to leave her and to think about leaving this friendship.. How she involves our families in this friendship... Mio dio😔😔😔... I only realised a few months back when she trying to do same with my kids... How could I let all those things happen... 😒😒😒...
You are right she listened everything and then after few time.... She used all those things to confront me... But what i was thinking that she was not loved by many people that's why she threw her anger on me.. It is okay i am her best friend so i can tolerate this😭😭😭... On my wedding, she manipulated me in such a way that I couldn't invite my other friends... It was only she that was with me... 😪😪😪🤕🤕🤕
Not now not again.... M slowly taking my feet back... Now I know what she is doing to me... Here i am thankful for all these you tubers who are enlightening this topic
Just went 'no contact' with a long-time, poisonous narc friend a few weeks ago & already feeling lighter, more positive & free.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!! Thank you for this video! The cycle is SO confusing with the intense flattery and then disappearance. And if I have a different opinion on something for example, politics, I can sense something is SO wrong and I am the devil or something!
You just described my friend, and my feelings as well. The only other thing is how my friend becomes real nice to me about 3 days before I get paid. She wants me to buy her things, take her out to eat, loan her money, and put gas in her car. Thanks for sharing, I don't feel so alone in world anymore.
Here I am listening to you again 3 years after the divorce from my narcissist husband/psychologist. Now I am finally realizing that my close friend is a narcissist. I know that I’ve probably realized it before but wasn’t strong enough to draw the boundary until now, and we most likely will no longer be friends. I’m OK with that. Thank you so much for this information. Blessings 💞
I have a friend who is highly educated - PhD therapist. When i first met she was the one who told me about Narcissism because of my ex. I've slowly come to realise that she was also covertly telling me that she is too. She once gave me very bad advice that could have gone horribly wrong re my narc ex.
She friendship bombs me. If my life is on a down she is my best mate. When things are going great she does not reply to my texts and if we bump into each other she acts like nothing went on. She strangely leaves me dangling and then swoops in with friendship bombing or giving massive life changing excuse for why she didn't bother continuing communication.
I want out of the friendship.
I don't want her and my ex (father of my child) both in my life. What for?
My narcissist friend is only in my life when HER life is bad and i never see her during a good times! :( Not anymore though i don't play that game and haven't for a while and i am much happier about it!)
I love our vets & some cute guy comes in with wink & nice words in front of others. We became friends. He is a stiff looking marine so he said. He told me he has anger issues. A family member punched him in the face & he went off on him & beat him near death. He said, "Marines don't hurt, they kill. He told me he is living with his ex wife, but platonically. Yeah, right, not that stupid. I told him something awful as a test & not a word about it from him. All he does is use me for a sounding board for his lousy sleep, pain, & health. At first, he came in a lot, but two days later, he skipped a day or two. Comes back in to tell me about his pain & sleep & stops talking AGAIN. Even if I didn't know he is an SOB, selfish as anything, I would never put up with this. So to all you coaches, what a great job you are doing & I joined you. I am teaching new age psychology & THINGS WILL CHANGE.
Yes. Absolutely Correct. Very thanks for this video.
Great video! I experienced a toxic friendship. I had to end it because I saw the red flags. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I'm in a better place in my life. It's important that we know the signs of narcissist people. I have a few friends but not many. I'm selective who I hang out with. This video is helpful. You have a new subscriber! Keep up the great work!
Thank you for this video.. so many are taken advantage of by these horrific people... its so hard to trust anyone these days 😰
Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened to me. I felt duped that I should have known better. I am working through this as the exposing happened just over two months ago. It triggered C-PTSD in me. Still working through it all. Taking one day at a time. Damn this is a painful and crazy making experience. If I smell a narcissist, I will run away and not look back!!!! They are the spawn of hell.
So accurate!! Great video!!