5 Things Narcissists Hate That Normal People Love

[@jonkallas7326]

The Power of "No". Narcissists hate when people say "no".

[@SCI_WALKER]

normal people, like you and me, however, love hearing no. i mean everybody should really just say no, all day long, to every question as a general principle! that sets a healthy boundary, aka a big beautiful wall that mexico will pay for.

[@jonkallas7326]

@@SCI_WALKER I was looking at my phone when this popped up. No one ever responds to my comments. Point well taken and with a smile at that. Peace to you and yours. ^^)

[@SCI_WALKER]

Peace be unto you and yours as well, friend. ❤️

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

Despite the criticism, this is true. I think you're talking about an outsized response to "No."

[@stephenireland3816]

jon kallas Yes they hate a blunt NO! And if they can punish you for saying No they will try, especially if they have any sort of power over you. I’ve learnt to pick my battles. They don’t forget or forgive what they perceive as betrayal and will wait till the day you ask them for help to get revenge.

[@nmhtv3427]

I get a little piece of myself back every time I watch a video

[@clarajohari6185]

Me too

[@jdclay9403]

I so get it. I did not know that narcissist people existed until i dated one for six months. I knew something was off but a family member told me to give him a chance. It was the weirdest relationship that I’ve been in. Everything in this video is so true! At the time I did not get it, I did not understand. He broke up with me, but he begged me to stay when I wanted to breakup with him at three months. Now I understand. Beware of the narcissist. Smh.

[@goonervillegonad3662]

Pity them. You know you were never the problem. You'll replenish very soon, but don't harbour bitterness. Be glad you now know how to identify them.

[@nmhtv3427]

I feel bad for him nothing else

[@smileitsjustagame2937]

Same. In the scapegoat in my family and the best feeling is independence.

[@MichelleVisageOnlyFans]

1. Holidays
2. Happiness
3. Others Looking Good
4. Success In Others
5. When Your Children Love You
You're welcome :)

[@angelamassey5850]

Many belated thanks!

[@Firguy]

I am a narcissist and I can confirm most of these:
1. I especially hate Christmas but at least my relatives give me money.
2. It's a crime for other people to be happy when I'm miserable. Especially to be irritating about it by laughing at their own retarded jokes.
3. ACtually, I don't know about this one. When I look at a photo of a "beautiful celebrity" wearing expensive clothes in GQ or something, the photographer goes out of his way to make them wear contemptuous glares that make them look unfriendly, unapproachable, untouchable, haughty, and _inhuman_ and that is an off-putting presentation of "beauty". I've seen real beauty and I don't fault any man or woman who has it but I sure hate it when other people look ugly.
4. It's a crime for people to be more successful than me when I haven't been able to get it myself in the 10 years since I've graduated high school. I've always felt I was destined to reach heights never before achieved by any man before me because, afterall, of all the people I could have been born as, I was born in this body as this person so it must be auspicious that I am here. I especially hate when people tell me I am not special.
5. Only if you've been acting like a creep to me then I wish I could tell your kids not to grow up to be anything like you because you're a horrible and disgusting monster who shouldn't be emulated or else they'll end up as much of a disgusting, stupid, loud, superstitious, alcoholic, scruffy-bearded, waddling lard-bucket of a forklift operating trailer trash nobody as you are.

[@gc8024]

You forgot about bullying the dj. He not playing their music. Not the one the party is for. ,,then makes remarks about pretty girls. I heard her say ,,she a virgin nun. 😲😳😦

[@democratictotalitariansoci1462]

@@Firguy lmao, you've described vast majority of people I have ever met.

[@Marixpress2]

6. Family

[@sugarandspice2136]

I got a job promotion and when I received the offer letter, I jumped up and down and screamed, full of joy and my ex was like "you need to bring that down & stop being so excited." He really brought down the moment while making me feel bad for expressing my genuine feelings for something so amazing.

[@jamilgotcher5456]

A self absorbed person can see other people's flaws but they are blind to their own.

[@evolutionrhythm4416]

And we have many ... Flaws that is. Evolution didn't care about perfection it " cared" about getting the genes into the next generation ( reproduction). Maybe a false self delusion of perfection is also a narsacistc trait.

[@GeorgWilde]

Every person is blind to own flaws and don't know themselves. Thats "normal".

[@evolutionrhythm4416]

@@GeorgWilde That's not necessarily accurate. E.g. If you study a evidenced based human behavoiur topic like evolutionary psychology, you can be aware of the "why's" of certain human behavoiur. For example, why does narcissistic behavoiur exist. On the proximate level it can be seen that a narsicist may personally benefit by manipulating a person with a more agreeable personality. Ultimately any form of behavoiur that benefited survival & reproduction in our evolutionary past was more likely to be inherited than a behaviour/ psychology that didn't.
This is the ultimate reason why , on average, many people may " not be aware" of the specific psychology/ physiology that ends in X behavoiur. I.e In our modern environment,. some behavoiurs are now malaptaptive. I.e. The genes have developed a physiology inc psychology that was specifically for a quite different environment than the organisms finds it's self in. E.g. Humanities Hunter gatherer past environment of evolutionary adaptations.
So, even when people are aware of their feelings sometimes these feelings motivate them to behave in ways which isn't even in there own best interest ( though may still be in the genes interest.e.g. Have unprotected sex ) .
A comparison with the natural world may provide a more obvious example.
Moths can often been seen fluttering around electric lamps. Their evolved behavoiur motivates them to head for light. In the past using light ( the moon / stars ) as a point of navigational reference became a moth adaption as it contributed towards an increase odds of survival and reproduction ,for the particular moths species.
In a environment with lots of artificial " moons" e.g. electric light. This " head for light" moth adaption continues , in some moth species, to provide a reproductive advantage as the lights bring moths together.
Humans , on aversge, cconsuming more than needed high calilorifuc food ( fats, sugar) is a maladaptive behavoiur. In the past fat and sweet food was a rare resources thus a behavoiur evolved ( love the taste) to motivate humans to seek out certain forms of food. Now everyone corner shop sells huge amounts of foods high in fat, sugar and salt. Thus human obesity is primarily due to a animal that is not adapted for a fast food , sit in traffic, sit in a office modern culture. Of course this is a average. I.e. being aware that " good taste"does not necessarily mean" healthy good food" can mean you are not slaves to our desires.

[@jaymimcbride5846]

Georg Wilde
Not true. “Normal” people recognize and try to change their faults. Narcissistic people don’t believe they have faults AT ALL so no need to change. Big difference

[@normanblohm2612]

You can develop a habit of recognizing your own flaws one way I do it is if I have a negative thought about another person or something about them annoys me I am mediately try to find something similar about myself and every single time I do. It’s not fun facing that stuff but it’s better than continuing crappy behaviors without realizing and correcting it. Every time I think oh my god that girl is so loud and annoying why does she think everyone needs to know her opinion. And look at me now

[@reneejones6887]

I was married to a Narcissist for 29 years, I finally divorced him 3 years ago, my grown kids sided with him,so I hav no relationship wit my sons, they hav no respect for me, I removed myself from all of them, he never taught them to respect me, all toxic, I’m just learning about narcissism, for years I though I was going crazy. I finally feel @ peace!

[@johnsonadenuga3162]

you mean for 29 years and u dont die/

[@loveeaother3180]

sad but understandable Peace is awesome

[@maggied.7596]

Oh so true . I walked away from a marriage of over 40 years. The whole family took sides....
HIS.. they all saw what he was doing. Told me they didn’t like how he treated me.
When I finally made the break . He poisoned and cultivated them to be his supply.
It’s been 6 years since I left and 2 years since he died and the poison lives on.

[@reneejones6887]

Denise my heart ❤️ goes out to u, I hope u find peace! That’s a lot of years, then hav to deal wit more drama,it seems like it never ends! I feel like my ex ruined my kids! He’s there best friend, & according to my youngest son I’m the bitch that all my sons hate!

[@angelfierypetals5252]

I was told he did this to me because I was actually to sweet for him and he was hard core bully (was jealous of my innocent nature so he wanted me hurt angry and dirty) all he ended up getting was me to withdraw and cry- we had a daughter together. (I couldn't even slice onions without him co.ing in with his hostility showing me - this is how you slice onions
It was a nightmare- 1985- even into last summer when he waved papers in our 30yr old daughter (daddy's little girl- and yes he wouldreward her for slandering me she's been abused and doesn't acknowledge his abuse only my failure as a woman and my weakness) he was yelling look what your mother did to me
(He finally got a normal job and the STATE not me had his employer withhold decades old unpaid child support) my granddaughter defended me this past two months ago- (after he told her what a Terrible person she is) @(12yrs old) he left the state without saying goodbye to them. My granddaughter said yeah he loves us as long as we
agree with everything he says.. (He wouldn't allow me to have ANY friends was threatened if anyone liked me- ) I still do not understand why he ostracized me- he made me feel like a freak of nature. When in Fact being with me made him look Good so I was told by elders - made me think-
Yes I am in counseling &therapy PTSD - afraid to leave my home. Have pancreatic issues- dying alone. I am hurt and angry sometimes (too weak and pain to care most of time I just sleep because of the medicines for digestive tract cause drowsiness the fight flight freeze I pray I heal so I can work (I'm happiest when I'm providing for my family and grandbabies (even if she makes me feel unwelcome 98% of the time)

[@Roedygr]

My narcissistic mother went nuts whenever she heard us kids laughing. She would always accuse us of plotting against her.

[@YouMe-jc6wk]

I never understood why my dad would come after me every single time & whip only me. I heard my sister confess to always blaming me for everything, just so she wouldn't get in trouble & she laughed about it. My sister learned from early age from my mother that I didnt matter. For my mother to remember my birthday or how to spell my name correctly meant to her that she would have to care about me and that will never happen. I'm 52 & my mother refuses to have a relationship with me. I know it's not me but the child in me still wants a mothers love. I have learned to love myself and surround myself around healthy loving people. I am very blessed!

[@pauldharmer]

My father is my narc hes the same way , I have two kids I've never had an argument with either of them. Never punished either one, we buy things for each other , we laugh, show empathy, compliment each other .....and my dad hates it

[@chrisgould101]

Ill telk you one thing that realky affected me. I'm school, I was like the class clown . Heck I was the whole school clown. So I had a sense of humour, and many other adults liked me. At home my narc mother (narcs don't heh genuine comedy) wouldn't allow humour . Imagine having to stop being your entire self just because your around someone who doesn't even have a humour gene (luckily I was adopted) and cover it it was so confusing . So .. no real love and no real humour two huge parts of who I am, could never show themselves in my own family environment.
It's really sad. I'd have a lot more happiness and confidence today if in were allowed to just be myself. I was also too honest and too smart, eventually I figured her out and called her out. She tried to charge me but withdrew when i responded and she realised all her lies would have to be sworn statements in court.

[@KadyPowellAEROPOLEONEKD]

Lmao seems about right

[@redrumax]

My mother always complain I laugh too much, I must be crazy, I laugh too loud, what will the neighbours say. LOL

[@melodysanquist]

My narc husband once told me, "I'm not happy, I never was happy and I'll never be happy so stop trying to make me happy!". Our divorce was final 7 years ago and I've been happy ever since. :)

[@michellewright99]

😄

[@mral4381]

No doubt there are people like Michele describes but many things she describes can be attritbuted to more than just narcicissm.
There is a growing number of influencers that claim expertise in subjects more complex than they understand.
Not disagreeing with all of her points but the misinformation now prevalent is likely to sabotage as many people as it helps.

[@simonaodesser5258]

I can only say, what a shame these videos about narcissists were not available to me 40 years ago. So be it, good thing they're available to everyone now.

[@jinnybarber3701]

AMEN...40 years ago wud have helped me

[@lovingmind2784]

I have been with a narcissist 48 years,tried everyway possible ,I thought why is he happy now I am upset ,it has been exactly like in the video all this time,I don't know how I survived, well I went very deep into religion the last 22 years to keep me going but he did not budge a tiny bit at all ,so it means they will never change.

[@sdeepak3165]

There was no such analysis before 40 years either, sorry for this.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Use what you learn and know now and share it with others in Jesus name. You can't change the past, and God allow everything to happen for a reason. You can end up being a blessing to someone else that is going through, or went through what you went through. Whatever satan mean for evil God will turn it around for your good and for His glory in the end. God have the final say, and HE will and can heal you through it all and keep you, IF you let Him in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ of NAZARETH. AMEN.

[@heidikaminski7337]

I left my narc abuser and I am ALIVE again! Being with him was like being in a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. They're emotional vampires. No heart. No soul. They will never change! Leave them and never look back!!!!! No contact!!!!!

[@stardust2938]

You could escape,i grew up with a narc dad...my life is completely destroyed by him

[@juliepeterson4905]

It’s all I’ve ever known, I don’t know how to get free.

[@stardust2938]

@@juliepeterson4905 i know what you mean,they get into your head...

[@lauramahkuk3733]

Can u message me. Look for "laura lynn" on fb. Im struggling and in it 5 years now and the thought of suicide recently came to me. When i read what narcissist was, this is him 100%. Please and thank you. Im also wondering if there is a support group for being a victim of these types of ppl? Thank you.

[@stardust2938]

@@lauramahkuk3733 there are private facebookgroups you can join

[@BC-hc7yq]

This is so true. They can’t stand to see you happy. They will treat you with anger and talk cruelly until you are miserable and then they feel in control again.

[@alleng9755]

So very true

[@Acetyl53]

I think the lattermost is the truest aspect though. The narcissist is like a vampire, they feed on the vital essence of others and they have no reflection. The narcissist does not see himself reflected in anything because he has no self. He's not a real person, he's a concept. His ego is either absent or so damaged and malformed it's unusable, Thus, he must control. In these sorts of rituals and festivities his lack of capacity for coherent dynamic behavior is revealed. There is no "opening up". There is no bonding. There is no seeing new sides of each other. There is no connection. He can't, and he knows it.
"I am no one, therefore, I can be loved by no one."
"I am nothing, therefore, I can connect with nothing."
Visibility is vulnerability. Connection is impossible and the attempt will cause mutual harm. Change is death. No matter what he does, someone must be harmed. There is nothing else.

[@wolffboutiquefashion9930]

I was happy last night u til he made sure he stamped that happiness out

[@rachellerockel]

Yep, exactly. It’s devastating.

[@JJ-ps9xe]

You have just meet my mom.

[@HeideCannon]

When you take the time to put focus on yourself, to put down healthy boundaries, the narcissist will accuse you of being self centered and of course YOU are the narcissist. It's mind boggling and so unhealthy.

[@kimessex3678]

I think you really know that you are a narcissist this is why you're talkin against this young lady keep on being a narcissist

[@leahkeyworth1825]

@@kimessex3678 not necessarily. Seems this woman is just having more confidence in herself, you don't know exactly what her mother did. You seem like a narcissist as you blame her; have no empathy and basically put her down.

[@leahkeyworth1825]

@@kimessex3678 plus who says 'young lady' what the hell has her age got to do with anything. You don't ever know her age lol. By saying 'young lady' your acting like your older, more superior and have better life skills. God knows how old you are; but you sound the toxic one. I guess I will get a message calling me a narcissist 😂😂😂. Narcissism is not just about not agreeing with what a person says; it's about a constant lifetime of physical and mental abuse. Educate yourself before you judge others.

[@shelliebill]

You are absolutely 100% spot on!

[@sikiescordova1826]

Become what they don’t like 👍 👍they criticize everyone so it’s easy to know what they dislike..there extremely lazy ppl .

[@willowclay3137]

They hate anyone that gets more attention than them.

[@pegasus5148]

So true

[@joeldwest]

Lydia Ponce me too

[@elles4115]

Indeed.

[@yepok6520]

... AND theyre ALWAYS looking for it

[@sharonchevalier922]

@hoodiewoman louisiana I thought of my dad who came to see me only once twirling baton and said he forgot to put film in the camera. I still remember how crushed I was. 10 years old. He didn't come to my graduation either.

[@Mijn24]

I love everyone who is struggling with this... we need to move forward together !!!!

[@pegasus5148]

The Narc is a sadist pretending to be a good person.
They enjoy abusing others and getting away with it.
Your misery is their happiness.

[@robindelancy7097]

@@pegasus5148 👍👍👍

[@jenn210]

Yep! Agreed. My therapist has taught me how to be consistent, taking time each day to process each negative feeling as it comes, throw it away & keep moving forward! No matter what just keep moving forward!
It's so important not to continue to dwell on on any one instance/ get stuck, holding on tight to anyone negative feeling. Its natural to have them, but its not healthy to let those feelings continue to control us & stop us from moving forward.
No matter how many times the same memory & feeling hits keep processing it & throw it behind.
We each recover by doing what works for us as individuals.
Its so true to keep moving forward together.
It feels good to know we are not alone!

[@CarolDudeck-bl7kz]

Agreed

[@cobiesweet4203]

I love you too

[@AshaGlenn]

Yes, I learned to hide my happiness as a child because I saw early on that this would cause me to be punished in some way.

[@noraabdulla2486]

Asha Glenn me to they r haters

[@eddieignacio3077]

Jesus :0
I hope you are good now. You should check out the book Letting Go the pathway to surrender by Dr David Hawkins. Also Sedona Method and Byron Katie here on CZcams. Also COURSE IN MIRACLES is also powerful and real.
Plus just FUN and SELF RESPECT! :-)
Do fun things outside like kayaking! Hiking! Go to dog training clubs etc etc. :-)

[@CSWLoveMusic]

I can totally relate

[@AmandaRules4ever]

I was punished severely for wanting to be happy, for what little good/happiness I had, and struggle with being happy for myself and for others, for fear of punishment and unmet emotional needs.

[@foxiefair123]

Yeah, somehow it causes “payback”.

[@PaulHattle]

I think we can safely say that they are sad, insecure, paranoid souls.

[@anastasia2788]

I watch these video and just cry because I finally feel like I’m not crazy, that someone understand me and I’m not thinking that I’m the only one suffering with this. God bless

[@KM-js3kr]

Are you narcissist

[@jrydergraham24]

Ohheyanastasia same love. Same 😩

[@realtorry4790]

Same ❤️

[@yogib8]

me too...I thought something was wrong with me...when he left on September 1st, my first night alone...I woke up in a panic ...I was in tears wondering if I were a narc. I was truly traumatized...I am still working through it.

[@linda8274]

On Valentine's day, he gave me flowers... and said: "Like I don't do enough for you". Keep these videos coming so more of us know we aren't alone and NOT CRAZY.

[@sabrinaflipse7732]

Linda :(

[@colingilpin2930]

Linda what a relief to know I am not crazy

[@bootlegbaker1215]

My husband brought flowers and a giant card to church as a grand gesture to make him look good. I'm allergic to flowers and he knows this. I asked for a cheap $20 gift. He spent his money on himself and bought me crap

[@katiewaters1956]

don't respond to the negative...you deserve the flowers, just like I deserve dinner...always has to show me the price....

[@donnalangley117]

Mine said Mothers Day was invented just so women could get more gifts.
At the time, I thought wow that is really twisted.

[@alexhorvath5519]

This makes so much sense why I was so depressed in my marriage. I suffered for seven years not knowing narcissism was a type of person, not just something wrong with me all the time. Love your videos to confirm the truth

[@AshaGlenn]

Sabotaging special occasions... This happened my whole life with my mom!

[@mohitgarhwal5049]

Can you share one short story... I amm with you..

[@shannoncats5549]

I will never understand mothers that are jealous of their daughters. Never ever, even if I lived for a million years. SMH

[@TheKim369]

You should have grown up in my house. The worst part for me was that it sounds so horrible to say about a mother, and so arrogant to say about myself, it took decades for me to admit it. After all, what is so special about me, that my own mother would be jealous of me? Being able to finally realize and admit what was going on was so liberating, yeah, it happened the same year she died, so maybe that was liberating too.

[@TheKim369]

@rj zander Not just that, having a good circle of friends, or performing well in sports or academics, having a talent for art, or baking, or playing an instrument. Basically being the center of attention, even briefly, for just about any reason.

[@Laylathelayla811]

I was an artist my mom never complimented my art work. she ransacked my room and made me walk in pitch black dark 5 am to catch the bus to go to work after i graduated hs. the bus stop wasnt close. she said she had to catch the bus too but plot twist the bus stop was literally right in front of their house. now she does compliment my daughters art. but my mom's mom was way worse and I understand my mom never got love. i didn't understand why if she knew how it felt she would treat me poorly.

[@nancystoneritter4444]

My mom was jealous of me because she was only girl in my dad's family and baby of her family. She got all the attention, then when I was born I was main focus. Not my fault, but she would tell me I HATE you and wish you would die, from my first memory. It took years of therapy to help me get over the emotional abuse. It still hurts now but she's deceased now.

[@TheKim369]

@@nancystoneritter4444 I'm sorry to hear you went through that. It's a terrible thing for the death of a parent to bring a measure of relief, but the death of mine was a relief, and it sounds like the death of yours was too.
It's sad that these mother's don't apologize before they die, but they don't, so, as bad as it sounds, the sooner they go, the sooner the relief. I wish mine had passed a decade or two sooner, but I'm glad for whatever years of peace I get. I wish you many years of peace yourself.

[@richardcudog2590]

These people are cursed for life, what a miserable existence.

[@kikikiki3216]

Hmm only God can deliver them

[@kcla3131]

They are so cursed. Yet they always have a group of ppl ard then all the time!

[@lauradelregno99]

@@kcla3131 yep but they fake friendships

[@miraclesforus2]

@TV Eyes Salvy it.s a painful exist ence for their victims. They have no moral compass compassion or conscience. You gotta get that rigjt.

[@noraabdulla2486]

RICHARD CUDOG true

[@shirleyburgon4105]

I lived with a narcissist for 36 years and had no idea what was wrong. All these are like a revelation to me and pieces are falling into place . I always knew things were wrong and not normal but only now can make sense of it all. Every single one of these 5 behaviours explained made me quietly shout “yes, yes, yes! That’s what happened to me” I feel I can begin to heal and begin to reclaim my self worth and sanity.

[@PhoenixCat72]

My Mother started ruining my birthday when I turned 12. I have learned to keep my distance because I refuse to let her spoil my special day any longer

[@toptiergamers5656]

Karen Redmond she wants you to be in fucked up relationship 2 kids before 16 life wicked run woman run they want you to settle in life

[@Amber-wy9om]

She probably has narc jealousy. Look up nu mindframes CZcams channel on narc mothers.

[@olivest509]

I hate family gatherings, but only because my family is so full of narcissists that it's pure misery being around so many of them for several hours are a stretch.

[@rickrossh]

Same here, both my dad & step mom

[@namechangedtopunty7659]

Olivest I live next door to a narc and her family, everyday their throwing stuff in my garden.... it’s become a cat and mouse game for them, and watching me come out of my house to look at what present they’ve left me, gives them so pleasure...... they are twisted with a mental health problem

[@bEEBO178]

Same!

[@streetracer1o124]

Pureita Griffiths wtf😱🤣🤣🤣that’s hilarious the fact somebody and grown ppl
Would do that 🤔huh
I thoughts that’s a kid/teenager thing 😂

[@nakedglass]

@@namechangedtopunty7659 these days I'd probably stick a bunch of pins in the item and throw it back over and wait for the hilarity of them panicking over what it means. The narc mind will assume all the worst of course.

[@almamyers4]

1. Holidays - because it’s not about them.
2. They hate happiness
3. Hate when their partner look good.
4. They hate a Family members success.
5. When your children want to spend time with you.

[@Karyn3112]

Alma Myers my narc loved holidays, it gave him a new audience to to garner attention from.

[@aisarachel]

You're wrong. Anyone who thinks this way is wrong. Abuse is abuse. A Narcissist is a closet case abuser, master manipulator, baiter, and trapper.

[@aisarachel]

@@Karyn3112 I agree. Anything festive is good for a Narcissist, because they love to practice manipulating people into believing that they themselves are good, when they are secretly abusing their wife and children behind closed doors. Or they're living a secret double life that they are very good at hiding. They're evil.

[@anitacarter8060]

Alma Myers .. I agree ☝🏻 💯

[@jamesroberts6248]

That sounds like my WIFE!

[@stevenwoods2965]

I lived through a relationship like this for 7 years. I got out and have never looked back. Some people are beyond help.

[@Deb501]

My ex tried to save our marriage by saying “you can be in charge and I’LL be the miserable one. “
I knew I needed to go.

[@narcsinart7179]

narcissists make holidays so miserable for us all until *we* are the ones who eventually hate the holidays

[@mamathemeat]

Yeah I don’t like holidays anymore

[@marathonfortruth4768]

Grace Eversley Yeah because MISERY LOVES COMPANY. Nobody that sick inside wants to go it alone.

[@cindyhill4864]

Happened to me

[@cyansloth1763]

Sooooo true. Especially if they abused you and so every holiday is riddled with flashbacks and pain ya no holidays till I'm healed. I can empathize with so many people but narcissist/psychopath/sociopath people I just can't comprehend.

[@bwinmaine]

It has been my experience that holidays are perfect opportunities for narcissists to practice their trade. They are free to be as controlling and self-centered as they wish because anybody who resists will cause a stink and it is the resistor, not the narcissist, who is seen as being the asshole causing the stink.

[@drlarrymitchell]

When you close the door and you feel relief- you need to pay attention to that.

[@amirarosemusicUK]

Agreed!

[@feefeeali4945]

I totally thought it was just me... Why was I do much calmer AWAY FROM HIM? Covert narcissists are so disorienting.

[@alleng9755]

Yes recognize and remember

[@deristalk940]

I'am..

[@hendrina]

So thankful for my dad for being the normal, loving and proud parent. If it wasn’t for him, I would probably be a total mess. Kudos for sticking with my mom and being the calm one. Now it’s my job to protect him, now he is becoming an elderly.

[@sarahadair5890]

My dad made all the difference as well. Even being active duty military, he managed to bring stability, sanaty, joy, and make-believe to our lives. I hope to bring the same to mine. ❤

[@austanicasolutions2974]

It took me almost 10 years to leave one. That saying “if I knew then what I know now...” I’m mostly just disappointed in myself for even staying this long. I sacrificed so much. I sacrificed my happiness. I lost myself. He moved me away “into a bigger” house for show and tell especially when people came over because he wanted them to see what we had and “how far we’ve come.” Ultimate “couple goals” is what he wanted. He is best friends with my mother, he turned her against me completely. The only person I have or I should say “had” by my side he took. Now my mother and I don’t talk at all. I’ve bailed him out of jail for a senseless act HE did. I’ve gone to places I cared not go to because “he likes when I look good” when I’m out with him all the time. I lost my job. He’s stalked me. I tried leaving before, he took random pics on google and sent it to guys to tell them “these are all the men she’s sleeping with” when I didn’t know not one of these people. He’s chased guys away that actually cared for me while him and I weren’t together. I took him back after “I’m gona change.”
He’s told men when I break up with them I always call the police and put them in jail when we break up. He’s pretended to be sick and “having a stroke” when I wanted to move on while secretly messaging someone I chose to date “I know you’re still talking to my woman. We are still together” I took him back after “I’m sorry. I’ll change.” He so happen to “pop up” in places I go. He took a brick and smashed my side mirror and took all the caps of my tires so my tires would slowly deflate. He slashed the tire on my brand new car a night before I HAD THE BIGGEST INTERVIEW OF MY LIFE. He said “I don’t know what I was thinking I just can’t do it without you. We can both have each other’s phone anytime.” I took him back. The list goes on..
2 days ago he left the house and went for a “meeting” with someone. God knows who because he is just so dam secretive with everything. Money. His family. You name it.
As soon as he left the house I called the one friend I had left after knowing how depressed this situation made me and I packed and left. I took only the clothes on my back, my car and my passport.
Things can always be replaced. Your time can’t. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow but even though the hardest part is leaving. Because I’ve always “left” but didn’t LEAVE.
I have no job. I lost it all because of him. But I had 2 peaceful nights of sleep so far. Even though I still wake up sometimes because my anxiety of always feeling like I have to watch over my shoulder is there, I’m proud that the step I took is now a step closer to my greatness and purpose.
Listening to these videos gave me the push I need to leave. I regret marrying him because I had so many signs not to.
Losing myself is one of the deepest cuts I will have to heal. “I just don’t sympathize no more. I can’t be victimized no more. I just don’t sympathize no more. Cause now I understand.”
Anyone who is feeling depressed, have anxiety or just feel like you can’t get out listen to Lauryn Hill “I GET OUT.” And really take the words in.
Depression and anxiety may be now, but it’s not forever.
Xo.

[@rosiestewart870]

they come in all kinds. mine housed me in a bug-infested, one-room basement apartment. when we had a two-yr-old and a newborn, we were living in a tiny, run-down, rented trailer. my parents had to buy a house and rent it to us, so their grandbabies could live in a decent home. they kept the deed to the house, so he couldn't sell it. after he died, my daughters learned that he had a large, secret, out-of-state savings account. they did not share it with me---after all, "you divorced him."

[@nrsimmons178]

Your story sounds like mine on steroids! I'm just enjoying under a month of peace and freedom, but I still feel like he's going to swoop in at some point and take it all away again. How are you doing? Have you gotten the chance to put your life back together?

[@cloudy1164]

I believe u r very smart not having kids with the person. Enjoy your freedom!!! Celebrate every day !

[@jakester3876]

God be with you.

[@kels3y]

My dad is a narcissistic abuser. He has abused my mom and little brother with his narcissism (verbally and, occasionally, physically) since I was born. I’m 13, and it has been so hard to realize that I have been abused, because it didn’t feel like abuse until lately. Your videos really help. Thank you.

[@Love4life527]

Stay strong. Pray and ask God to help you.

[@Cerez78]

I was brought to tears reading your post. I'm angry that this is happening to you and your family. Know that God loves you and it isn't your fault. Don't keep silent. Please tell a teacher or other school official about the abuse so they can help. They are mandated reporters and your father will have to answer to his misconduct and back off for at least a while.

[@redheadedfreckles2]

kelsey🍯 God bless you honey

[@narcsinart7179]

@Star Light until her mom is ready to leave, she is stuck with him. you have to learn how to live with these sickos and protect yourself, the authorities can't . hope you have a nice aunt or grandma that will take you in on weekends or whenever sweetie, God bless

[@scotnick59]

My dad was a Narcissistic Gaslighter: all about him. What he never learned that it made him look like an immature ass to others around him and always did

[@beckyqueen2409]

1)Holidays, festivities, special occasions. Because they are jealous that other people can be genuinely happy without faking it. Their narcissistic supply comes from not giving you what you want and then seeing you suffer.
2) Narcissists hate happiness. Narcissists have a goal to kill your happiness. They are not normal. Happiness in someone else is a threat to their false self. Narcissists don't feel happy or genuine excitement. They mimic other people's emotions.
The ability to feel genuine happiness is something that the narcissist will never have.
Their unhappiness is not your fault.
3)They hate when others look good.
4) Narcissists hate when others are successful. If narcissists can't take credit for your success, they will squash your success. You cannot trust anything that the narcissist says.
Trust your gut.
5) Narcissists hate when your children love you. This is so true. I have relatives who are like this. Gosh!

[@tobiastho9639]

Becky Queen Thx

[@hakuchanyuuki9240]

Thank you

[@KH-gk8mf]

My mother actually said it was “disgusting” that my aunt (her sister) and my cousin (my aunt’s daughter) would say, “love you!” to each other on a regular basis. That’s when I knew there was something seriously wrong with my mother. I was just a teenager when she said it, and my first thought was that I never heard her tell me she loved me and that it would be kinda nice. 😞

[@acharich]

@@KH-gk8mf 🙏🏾♥️

[@coolwater55]

Narcissists hate when their children love others.

[@soozeekew1]

It’s comforting to go from an “eraser” to someone who values you in every detail.

[@RealityCheck1980]

“We can feel good about ourselves even if the person doesn’t see any good in us”- I really like that part

[@RealityCheck1980]

The only thing is my husband would put together nice anniversary trips, but at the end of the relationship he said he was tired of faking it...😳

[@ladennayoung2939]

@@RealityCheck1980 Some things are a blessing in disguise. If you went separate ways then so be it. Praise and thank God for the now, and how He kept you, and brought you out of that.

[@earthhealer1174]

The way they hurt children is the one thing that doesn't deserve *ANY* forgiveness *AT ALL*

[@kristinaclark3357]

Yep! Heartbreaking!

[@nikiannecoleman]

Shannon Dwyer My father is a narcissist and he has always been a brutal and sadistic man. My siblings and I are all adults now but he still tries to control us.

[@OBSIDIANSTARK]

Amy Shakalis wow Amy reading your comment just broke my heart. I sincerely apologize you went through ANY ounce of that but I am glad you weren’t ‘successful’ commuting suicide and that you REALIZED YOUR SELFWORTH (which is priceless), found some peace and made the choice to be happy if that means not speaking to either of them. That notion outside of context is tragic but with the reality of your situation seems to be the most helpful solution to give yourself the best shot at doing you to the fullest, good, bad and indifferent as long as u found your peace. Wish u the best generally speaking. Again, I’m very sorry that was a major part of YOUR story you were forced info & endured that but I’m glad u are were u are now. You’re writing the pages of your journey at your own will as we all SHOULD have the right to do.

[@Star-jb5gj]

I agree. They should burn 🔥

[@dinavienna]

Amy Shakalis you give me hope for a sane future - I am at my lowest at 37 but want to get better for the sake of my small family not my family of origin

[@kcla3131]

Now I know why I have always had trouble saying "no". I've been around narcissist for 37 years and I am 37.

[@mindlice575]

Sounds like me... Narc parents.

[@jannekegerritsen301]

So sad but i just hit with the realization too its a strange phenomenon

[@alexc2265]

Well, an agreeable temperament alone is enough to cause that, but that definitely can be a cause and I’m sure you’ve endured a lot.

[@ladennayoung2939]

@@alexc2265 No. Being raised by someone with NPD generally cause that. Because you end up being codependent, and you don't want to say no. Because you want to please everyone. They raise you to be that way on purpose. So, they can control and manipulate.

[@Meira750]

I have to say, my narcissistic mom was pretty good about holidays and birthdays. It was a way for her to say "look how great I am. Look at the presents I give and the parties I throw for my child." As a kid tho, I didn't realize that was her motive so I enjoyed them. She wasn't so big on the non-gift occassions like national holidays. hmmm.

[@harperlewis1526]

EXACTLY! until the kids get older and she can't monopolize the time with them (grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc) then she sabotaged and stressed everyone out since she couldn't have total control. "building our own traditions."

[@pspcraft]

Change happiness to "joy"... they will never have joy. Most are demon possessed.

[@imabeloveddaughter]

pspcraft jezabel demon spirit. very dangerous

[@miraclesforus2]

Yes it.s pure evil. no pill can fix this. RUUUN

[@StillAliveAndKicking_]

My narcissistic boss does get joy, when he orders staff around, walks over them, talks at them.

[@noraabdulla2486]

pspcraft i see

[@yakupcemil1790]

We have inner demons.

[@Terrormitzsu]

When you're sick, they neglect you. Don't expect them to bring you food or water in bed, unless they think they have an audience to impress. They may be preoccupied with drugging you up, unless you're in a lot of pain. Then, they'll act like they don't realize (you're nothing anyway), or you're faking it, or they're conveniently no where to be found, ESPECIALLY when you need them. If they're in the hospital with you, pretending to be the enduring, dutiful caregiver, they torment you when no one is around. They'll upset you while you're literally down, blame you (which is ridiculous because you are literally sick enough to be in the hospital), then storm out.
(Likely to use that time away to cheat on you, if a spouse. That way you can lay in bed worrying, and it's harder to heal.)
Gaslighty stuff.
Personally, I think it's the devil. What they do is criminal, imo, and many of them should be in jail. They send ppl to early graves due to stress and create mental disorders (anxiety, depression) in otherwise emotionally healthy, happy ppl. They're cold and malignant.

[@TechnicJunglist]

👏👏👏 i am going through this now & making a conscious effort to get out. A narcissist's tentacles run deep

[@redeemed3856]

Terrormitzsu Thankfully soon enough they will All be in *Jail* - HELL!! I’m counting the days ...

[@ncgal384]

The devil is out to steal, kill & destroy. Empty shells and completely emotionless. Narcissist are the freakin devil! Light outshines the darkness! When you understand this then you know the true darkness that lurks in this cold world we live in.

[@Terrormitzsu]

@Daisies and Lillies, putting them in jail is walking away - and throwing away the key.
Also, if you're in the hospital or bedridden, it's a bit difficult to walk anywhere in that situation. I believe that was at least a theme in my original post, reading comprehension much?
They're more sinister than a lot of obvious criminals. Just because they're sneaky and insidious or you can escape that doesn't mean they don't need to be in jail.

[@makeupbyshay341]

Unfortunately my best friend died in July from drinking and the drinking started due to her abusive husband. She's the one who helped me get into domestic violence program and to get away from my spouse. And so yes what he did was kill her basically. I refuse to let anyone kill me. I'm 3 weeks no contacts and the happiest I've Been Love Gone no contact and she's found me and it started all over again so this time I'm very serious about staying hidden. Not being able to be found means I am unable to be manipulated which means I keep my joy and I keep my happiness and it literally is life or death and so my main goal right now is to not be found! I know that if I am found all of my joy goes down the drain and I don't want that anymore. The way they treat us is Criminal. And Karma will get them.

[@NarcSurvivor]

They are jealous, because they feel as though we are taking away the spotlight, attention and validation from them. They are also envious because they want to take away our happiness or progress in anything.

[@pegasus5148]

The Narc hates your happiness.
It has to all about them and all they want is sadistic supply
by hurting their targets emotionally.

[@24kstar]

Yes, and they feel entitled to take away our happiness and progress. Their thinking is, "How DARE you be happy? How DARE you have a life of your own? How DARE you succeed? You are NOTHING. I am EVERYTHING." And then they'll go about destroying you to level the playing field.

[@to-acpro-iw1748]

Absolutely spot on.

[@sunshines4555]

THAT'S EXACTLY IT!!!!!

[@laurenm9563]

So damn sick!

[@SouthernGirl-ce7ws]

Fathers that are jealous of their sons is truly sick I'm happy again

[@paulcooper5748]

Yes ive very much dealt with that its sooo fucked up that a father would feel jealous of hes son were is the love there.

[@mindlice575]

My father is a successful anesthesiologist. I'm a self taught musician and audio engineer. I told him once that I wanted to major in mathematics and he told me "a degree in mathematics and a dollar 50 will get you a cup of coffee."

[@mindlice575]

... and I'm not successful at ALL.

[@alexc2265]

It’s like the father jealous of the mother’s attention to her child in the Oedipus complex. Sick.

[@juliepeterson4905]

My life is trapped in the same toxic moment all the time. I can’t feel my emotions due to narcs. I’ve tried so hard to make them happy but I’m miserable. I’ve been erased.

[@neerudutta4906]

My experience is don't give them information that is important flip things give them the opposite info/keep your secrets just yours.

[@2mammaR]

True. You have to keep things to yourself.

[@keiranritchie8329]

So true, unfortunately since I've stopped telling others my plans things have started working out 😒

[@joanramsey4002]

Oh my, I had to keep narc colleagues out of the loop to stop their antics. They were demonic troublemakers for sure.

[@tt8877140]

I was just thinking this today I am so smart to this as I was raised by one and married twice. I pick them constantly. Now my narc bf Of 11 years is learning from me. I share to much on things. Just things and strategies in general.

[@carissacrash]

Yeah, I’ve learned that quickly from a young age. My father doesn’t know anything about my personal life whatsoever.

[@SGWndrWmn1211]

My husband is definitely a narc....he sabatoges every special occasion, Anniversary, family gathering etc...he also displays so so many other narc traits. Can't deny it anymore. I deserve my peace and joy back.
2019 im breaking free of this miserable , emotionally abusive "marriage"

[@suzesinger6762]

GOOD ! YOUUUU GOOO.GIIIRL !!! XXX ;)

[@sboloshis1188]

Seems dangerous to post this if he’s crazy. Have you ever told him you intend to leave? It seems a shame to throw away marriage. Has he seen a psychologist or done any counseling? Your guessing at his psychological labels based on the internet. It’s a start maybe you are right but why not be sure or at least try to fix it.

[@SGWndrWmn1211]

@@sboloshis1188 no its fine he wouldnt find this. He actually left on his own aka discarded me right before Christmas! What a surprise right?? We did try counseling and all he did was twist and conceal the truth. Tried 2 different psychologists actually. The 2nd one actually was the one that told me he has NPD....after that i started doing my research into what Npd. This is how i ended up here. (Months after she told me he has npd) this is the short of the long story. I didnt diagnose him thru the internet on my own. And no there is no salvaging this "marriage"...im glad he discarded me and ive blocked him from making contact w me. 2019 is gonna be a great year!!!

[@sboloshis1188]

Stephy Orona his loss then.

[@mjwander1]

Please let me know when you're single

[@dizzeydaisy]

I’m going through this right now. All of a sudden it’s “whatever makes you feel comfortable” now that he sees me happy, pulling away and focusing on my needs.

[@sohara....]

❤

[@mrmopar8939]

They get jealous of other people's success. Exactly my brother.

[@annbiggs7270]

This is so very true!!!

[@mcorbin1985]

So so on point. He ruined every holiday, and got angry about everything and had tantrums about nothing. He tried to ruin my happiness and he did for awhile.

[@pegasus5148]

The narcissus is a sadist and that's why they enjoy ruining holidays and ruining things for you emotionally. They want to sabotage our joy.

[@elles4115]

Tantrums for nothing is so true. And that leaves us standing there like wtf just happened?

[@hunterlange5973]

Hope you left him behind.

[@jesseleeward2359]

Vacation on the beach with my Aunt was like military. Everyone had to inform her what they were doing. My sister was criticized for looking fat in her bathing suite. My mum wasnt allowed to have the lap dog sleep in her bed. The dog had to be washed all the time. My aunt's back was sore. She relentlessly criticized someone for shaving their head for cancer awareness. It was terrible summers

[@Ladystardragon]

I always hated when they said that women in abusive relationships have low self-esteem... Some of us were genuinely happy, carefree, with a decent self-esteem before this scumbag came into the scene and destroyed as much as he could!!

[@puremaledark8305]

Rebecca Petrovic goes for men too. I was such a care free, loving spirit till a dated a girl with npd, bpd. It really made me an ugly person eventually.

[@godgeoussolflower]

To attract the narcs into your life typically means you have like self worth. Narcs don't stand a chance with high self value women. They don't get to that stage of destructing your life b4 u dismiss them.

[@lelalewis8279]

@@godgeoussolflower mostly this is a fact, and i believed it to be true until recently. When i met my ex fiance i was on top of the world; recently divorced, good job, new house, i was independent and rockin' it! He saw a life he envied, and wanted to be part of it. At first he Lifted Me with compliments and admiration, but once we moved in together he slowly sucked my self confidence away. He took away every extra dime i had, destroyed every relationship i had (including my son), sold off my belongings, and abruptly left me homeless...it was so unexpected, and i didnt realize this was happening, i honestly thought i was helping him rise with me, and that he was just projecting past traumas onto me. I believed love would heal all and see us through...i did not know what a narcissist was :( In the end i had no strength to help myself, i was emotionally and mentally bankrupt, and so numb i literally had to talk myself out of ending it all on a daily basis. I was a strong woman when i met him, and now I've been a hermit for 2 years, my anxiety is insane, i don't talk to people because im too scared to, i have below zero self worth, and physical health deminishing. I say I was strong when I met him, but I am still strong I just can't feel it yet and I know I will in time. I am truly grateful for all of these videos and people sharing their experience because this is how I learned exactly what just happened to me. every video I watch about narcissist and narcissistic abuse describes him in every word, I spend more time looking for the things that don't match his personality but there aren't any. Because of these videos I have hope now, nobody would listen to me and help me figure out what was happening, it was like I was the disease. These types of people seem to Target anybody, and I wish I had the knowledge about narcissistic abuse that I have now, but I will be sure to use this knowledge to help any other person I see who might be going through the hell I went through. Either way don't make the assumption that narcissist will not Target a person with high self-esteem. Nobody is safe from this type of person unless they are educated enough to see amd understand it. :) have a great day! 🤘

[@mewbao4744]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SISTER ♡♡♡

[@DeborahSNelson]

@@lelalewis8279 WOW, I agree. I was also on top of the world, recently published author, and yet he targeted me-never felt better, loved being single and alone in my penthouse on the beach---However, I think there was a crack in my spiritual armor, though, because I had stopped meditating for a couple of months after meditating for 10 years. I think there is something that does attract them, a place in us where we have become weak or vulnerable for a time, and they slip their foot in the crack of our vulnerability, and we attracted them at that point. The higher we are, the more attractive we are to those who want to use and abuse people.

[@anonsmith3459]

907 DISLIKES ARE PROOF THAT 907 NARCISSISTS WATCHED THIS VIDEO. 😉😅

[@naida6958]

My husband

[@amygirmay6007]

Anon Smith one of them is my husband 🤣🤣

[@mantan9400]

Interesting Theory which is probably 100% true but with no concrete evidence. If that makes any sense.

[@patrioticprolifer]

Exactly because they dont want their secrets out there to warn unsuspecting future victims

[@patrioticprolifer]

This is mine 100%

[@theforeigner6988]

Focused on pleasing an unpleasable person. Wow. Exactly. Thank you

[@starsingleton5347]

It's hard when you don't have the money to leave.

[@merel0076]

Yes narcs trap you in situation when you have no recourses but just plan it slowly all time you stay with a narc is time stolen from ur life

[@suzannelaforce6988]

Yes, you need money to leave, so start saving now. Even saving coins will give you hope. Put them somewhere that the narcissist can't find. Keep saving. Rely on sympathetic members of your family. Be brave and be determined to break free. There are abuse hotlines in almost every city too.

[@johnbernard7280]

Star Singleton tell me about!

[@johnbernard7280]

paratrooper73 Thank you but it’s to late for me.

[@johnbernard7280]

Earl Raymond My mother is a basket case, my sister hung herself 3 years ago, I can’t have a relationship with my little brother and there I nothing that change that. I never know my father was a narcissist until recently. Looking back everything makes sense now. Their is a lot more damage than I can ever explain. I don’t have the energy left to start over. It’s to late.

[@staceykowalski4329]

There are narcissists who don't want you to look bad, if they think its bad for their image. Narcissist parents see their children as an objects and extensions of themselves.

[@nikiannecoleman]

Stacey Kowalski That is my father to a tee. He sees my siblings and I as his little clones and because we aren’t and have our own personalities he hates it. He puts on this happy family act in front of the world but the minute no one outside of the family is watching, he puts us all down. He also constantly criticises and tries to pit us against each other. None of us fall for it.

[@hawkeye3905]

I finished my 5 year long narcissist marriage yesterday. Everything you say is so comforting to me right now x

[@sohara....]

*Best wishes!* 🎉❤😊

[@hawkeye3905]

@@sohara.... thank you! Wow, my message was three years ago! Life is good 😊

[@healthyscents]

My narcissistic mother fed me enough fear and negative to land in my narcissistic husband's hands, now that I have worked on myself and found out that I have been victimized by the very people I am supposed to trust, I feel paralyzed, guilty for having my children stuck in the situation and exhausted from the energy draining and drama. I am lost.💔

[@raymondrosa7239]

I am a empath !! You can imagine what I’ve been through, but I understand now, I am in control now !! Moving on and going Beyond !!! I create my reality !! Go within !!!!

[@nattig.4987]

Same. I understand you. These videos make me feel so much stronger. Shake em off!! Stay strong.

[@lisac7956]

I know someone who is a pathological narc. Everything you say here is 1000% true.

[@littlemissyjess]

I have a narcissistic sibling and this is the best video that I have seen which helps to explain why every birthday I have, Christmas or holiday has been sabotaged. This actually makes me feel a little bit at peace with past events. Thank you!

[@island661]

I love holidays, without my family. 🤣

[@YouMe-jc6wk]

You made a very important comment. Holidays are the hardest with narcissists family members.

[@knowledgeseeker4116]

To all the narcissist you have been exposed! I hope that every body listens to this. Great video!

[@joeo7257]

Leroy, Good point, anybody exposed to one is aware of their junk. The Narcissist will still reject any of these examples applying to them.

[@maviskaitoo8413]

Hahahahah

[@northstar5919]

Then they become dangerous so be careful

[@lrowlands53]

I’m definitely convinced the narcissist was the most negative thing I’ve ever encountered. I just can’t get her out of my head.

[@weedylock]

I feel you, these video helped to clear most pain and sadness from my psyche, only anger is left which i hope to purge asap, broke no contact rule after 3 weeks because she owes me money and the rest of the day went down the toilet, constant thinking :(, now i have blocked her everywhere and started proper no contact :D

[@vivalospepes1402]

My narss was in my head for 30 years. Finally broke free period better late than never. Your time your energy is more important than wasting it believe me. Concentrate on something other than that narcissist. Don't waste anymore time on a narcissist it's lost time. Do yourself a favor forget them. There are also other videos out there by peace and harmony which are really good. It was Michelle's videos that introduced to narcissism. It was a lifeline when I was being tossed at sea! Thank you again Michelle for all that you have done. Everybody hang in there there is happiness on the other side.

[@vivalospepes1402]

@@weedylock you will get over the anger. Just chalk it all up to experience and forget it walk away. You will be free. You will be happy you will be at peace! Good luck to you;)

[@rohithreddy75]

UlTrApLeX Use your anger in gym.It helped me immensely using this.It will make your health better as well.

[@somyan8540]

I never even knew such people existed. Such kind.

[@WebbSC12]

I'll go you one better: The 5"things" are surely good to know. The important thing is that when they see the power/control shifting from them to you, they will strike back whether in an outright manner or a deceitfully two faced way if it suits them.

[@prophetsj1180]

You speak SO Eloquently Michele. And off course SO convincingly. !!! Every thing you say is spot on.

[@MellyMae44]

OMG! The very first item you brought up - holidays, birthdays, special occasions, YES! My husband never liked/felt comfortable with family celebrations, and always ruined them. Before I ever heard of narcissistic personality disorder, I knew the issue was these special times didn't focus on him, so since he wasn't the center of attention, he had to ruin these happy times. Every Christmas is so stressful for me, because I know he'll try to keep my family away, because he knows I want them around, but that would bring me happiness - can't have that! Ruined countless anniversaries because "why go out for dinner when there are leftovers in the fridge?" Yeah, me heating up old spaghetti, happy anniversary! They hate happiness - YES! After nagging at me for an entire weekend to ruin anything possibly enjoyable for me, he asked me "do you think I ENJOY being miserable?!" Yes, he does enjoy being miserable, because he cannot be happy. Yes - he chooses to be unhappy. Yes, constant anger and arguing, because he needs to tamp down my happiness. Being with a narc, you're always on the defense. because you're always being attacked, and it's exhausting. To the narc, nothing about you is good. You're never smart enough, strong enough. You're always accused of being lazy, or not pulling your weight, and the reality is the the narc is the one not pulling their weight. It IS a hamster wheel, and you can't get off. Being with a narc is soul sucking. It's so hard to leave them, because your friends and family are long gone because they have run from the misery, and now your support system is gone, and you're left with a bottomless pit of depression and despair.

[@debcobern312]

I was married to a narcissist for 17 years *together for 21...and I can tell you it was a nightmare. In those days there was no way to understand what was going on because there was no information out there...no internet to find out the "why" of it all. My narc. was also physically abusive and would do everything he could to start a fight over nothing so he could knock me around. If you are in a relationship with a narc. GET OUT! Don't try and survive it...GET OUT!!!! Not only for you but for any children or even pets you have because even your pets are in danger!!! I got out and it was the best thing I ever did for me and my children. I just wish I had done it much, much, sooner. God bless!

[@agee7777]

i hear you, luckily i didn't marry her and got out after just a couple of years, but we have a child.

[@SophieBird07]

Deb Cobern people gripe about the internet, but it has saved my sanity. “The truth is out there”, hahaha.

[@karenkaye6087]

Yes, true. My ex-narcissist husband
abused my beautiful English
Springer Spaniel to get to me
besides his physical abuse of
me. He didn't have a heart and
was truly selfish. I was so
anguished in trying to keep
him from hurting my dog.
It was truly wicked of him.

[@elizajarrett252]

my mother cut off all of my hair when I was four "because I couldn't do it myself" she wouldn't let me have it any other way for 8 years and whenever i bring up how much pain those years of my life brought me she'd say, " you got some many compliments when your hair was different" it was all about the attention it brought her.

[@FoxFox-lx3cv]

She's Satan XD

[@amyavani7017]

Omg i had a really similar experience with my hair. My mom made me have my hair cut like a boy. Everyone mistook me for a boy constantly and kids made fun of me. Even though i told her i hated it, she made me keep it like that anyway. It was essentially a bowl cut. On a girl.

[@Lyrielonwind]

@@amyavani7017
Same with me. Everyone would believe I was a boy from 8 to 12 years old.
She would dress me with my sisters old clothes so all my classmates will bully me and my father was making money but I was always old-fashioned dressed.

[@thinkingallowed7042]

@@amyavani7017 In my case it was my father who insisted that my hair was cut short from the time I was a toddler to about 13, in a sort of pudding bowl cut. All the girls at school had long hair except me and a couple of others. I longed to have long hair like everyone else and hated having such short hair because I stood out and all little girls want to have hair like Barbie etc. A bob would have been fine but it was a boy's haircut. People thought I was a boy. I was also dressed like a boy out of school uniform. It's very cruel to make your daughter feel like a freak and unfeminine and not pretty. Parents who do this have no idea of the scars this leaves.

[@terribishop5313]

Your videos have opened my son's eyes and saved his life. I and my five little grandchildren thank you! Many, many thanks!

[@lisaspikes4291]

I recently got a kitten. It was not a spur of the moment decision. I take pet ownership seriously. But I decided it was what I wanted. It was over a month before I told my mother I had adopted a kitten. And as I expected, she had nothing but bad things to say about it. The thing is, I’m 55 years old! It’s none of her business if I want a cat!!! I’ve lived with this all my life. She’s done this every time I’ve made a decision about my life or something to do. Luckily, I usually push on and do it anyway. But it’s disheartening that I always have to fight someone who should be supporting me.

[@KH-gk8mf]

Sounds familiar. 😞

[@vivianviljakainen5098]

Sounds like my mother.

[@pamelalansbury94]

I hope you and the kitten are having a very lovely life 🥰

[@misha2197]

Yep, sounds like my mother.

[@peachesandcream.2612]

Lisa Spikes - 59 - years old and I know now that you can never underestimate the spite in a jealous narcissist! My mother was such a patently evil narcissist that she would actively try to destroy anything that was making me happy - even going behind my back to do so! I wish you and your dear little kitty a lovely happy life together. God Bless 💕

[@Eadl-er3hs]

It’s been three weeks of freedom so far and your videos are helping more than you’ll ever know! What a confusing journey

[@vanessaparker6232]

They screw with your mind. You have to be strong and get rid of them as soon as possible or they will do their best to destroy you.

[@judithbissett237]

Me too. I left 3 mths ago. Very quietly. He thought i was in a hotel pouting. He never called trying to make me feel unimportant
I was already in my apt. The movers snowed and packed me. He couldn't do a thing. Im happier than I have ever been
I will not allow him to steal one more moment of my joy ever. Keep up the good work. We got this.

[@mixberry3181]

Good for you! I wish you all the best!

[@mixberry3181]

I'm in a situation right now,....planning my exit

[@L00shkin]

Hows your freedom been?

[@jessicae2222]

I developed mental disorders because of my parents’ and siblings’ narcissistic abuse growing up. I was suicidal, about to take my own life. This was summer of 2016. I forced myself to go to therapy. I mean, this was a MUST for me! After therapy, I began to take care of myself. They kept telling me that I’m being selfish, when personal hygiene rarely existed for me. I thought I was going crazy for most of my life. Now, I’m able to take care of myself. I practice thinking positive thoughts to generate positive feelings; do chores; take care of family members, and practice personal hygiene. I’m finally, mostly at peace with myself. They’re still continuing to bring me down. I just walk away. They think I’m being rude, but I’m simply taking care of myself now. So, take care of your own soul, no matter what, to have a peace of mind. Take care, everyone! ❤️

[@rayfisher5770]

I feel like I'm in a horror movie when everyone in the audience is like "RUN RUN!!! Dont go upstairs, go out the door. Their after you RUN!!! " Thank you for this wake up call. Much needed many blessings to you.

[@agathadolan362]

Oh my God!!! I just realized that my husband is a narcissist for definite! I wasn’t sure before but now I am. I’ve been struggling with him for almost 17 years! This video just blew my mind! Thank u so much for making such a detailed video and explaining everything so well! 🥰

[@Joelswinger34]

Time to go!

[@thomas-fq1wi]

Mmm i was convinced from other video's that someone in our company was definately one , but now i think its me lol only kidding but i do hate holidays

[@sabrinamorell1222]

Hopefully you got out! 17 years is enough

[@allisonupdike2274]

This is SPOT-ON.... I actually Laughed (yes, out loud, lol) at the first... My birthday is in 2 days, and I dread it. Whereas, I used to ADORE my birthday. It was always MY FAULT that he "didn't have time to buy" me a gift or even a card. The years I was "lucky" enough to be acknowledged, I received a cellophane wrapped handful of flowers (gas station or grocery store) and was told it was so hard to pick flower arrangements for me as I used to BE a florist... I've been married nearly 18 years. We are now separated. And my 13 yr old daughter just said to me today: "Mom, you always go all out for all our birthdays, but I never remember yours being anything ... Why?" I just smiled and said, "we can change that ourselves, starting this week can't we?!" I'm looking forward to my birthday this year. Finally. Again. I won't get a store bought card or gifts, but my children and I will be TOGETHER. And they WILL remember. And they WILL BE HAPPY. Not jealous and miserable and ugly to me....And not a SINGLE PERSON WILL BLAME ME FOR HAVING A BIRTHDAY!!!!!

[@annalundberg5242]

Allison Updike
Can’t recognise all since I’ ve been living with a covert narcissist. He has actually loved when something has gone great for the kids, so he has been able to brag about his good children. Or when I have (in his mind) been looking good so he can be proud that I was his woman, a trophe.

[@CyranofromBergerac]

Happy early birthday!

[@TemeryN]

sounds like you are going to have a wonderful birthday celebration this year! congrats =)

[@adembasou]

Happiest early Birthday and may the Creator of ALL Life bless You and Yours abundantly wth. Peace, Joy and lots of Sun and great Nature as well as Healthy Foods from our Earth.

[@allisonupdike2274]

@@CyranofromBergerac thank you so much!!! 😊

[@xiixiixo]

Both of my narcissists, loved holidays. It was a time when everyone gathers around, they can tell their grandiose stories, people tell them how great they are.

[@serenityserenity9829]

Very true there are different types of narcissistic people mines loves holidays because its a competition and proof that he is a good person he gives the best gifts and don't think he is not thinking and bragging how awesome he is .Covert narcs love to shine and do good things for the wrong reasons most of the time

[@stephenireland3816]

I’ve looked into narcissism a lot over the last couple of years and it makes life so much easier to have awareness. When you don’t understand whats going on, they have power to keep you in a place where you feel like you’re loosing your mind:( You come to learn just how fragile, fearful and childlike they are at their core. They have little to no self awareness and most of their fear based reactions are instinctual. Confronting them on their bad behaviour is futile and will only be perceived as an unjustified attack against them. They live in a wilful self induced delusional world of their own design. Where they can act so terrible and still believe they are God! Forgive my poor grammar.

[@newlifenewhope5905]

I think my ex actually discarded me, because he couldn't make me unhappy! Of course I would be upset when he was abusive, but thankfully, that wasn't every day, and I am naturally optimistic, so he wasn't able to keep me down. He did blame me for his unhappiness. I did everything in my power to make him happy, but I realised at some point that he was determined to be unhappy!

[@allisonupdike2274]

Ditto!!! Me too! I'm slowly coming to realize that it WAS NOT ME. He is determined to always be unhappy, he's "used and abused and taken advantage of" by EVERYONE, the world hates him, etc... I honestly feel (after 18 years) that I am what ruined his life. Me. The one he CHOSE TO MARRY. By being with me, he couldn't be happy.... Lol... So twisted ... Good luck to you, friend.

[@24kstar]

They like watching you scramble to make them happy, too, all the while knowing that they'll never let it be enough for them. It's a twisted game that they play, because they want to be the puppeteer.

[@htc2630]

+K Star So interesting that u use the term puppeteer (spelling?) bcoz the narcissistic, user and abuser in my life frequently refers to himself as the "puppet master". he enjoys nothing more than being able to control all aspects of any given situation in order to make sure that the outcome suits him. he truly is a parasite and I have broken free a few times only to have him come back around and weasel his way in by playing on my emotions while displaying the "pretend/fake" version of himself (the part of him that I fell in love with 15 yrs ago when we met...little did I know back then, that the version of him I fell in love with didn't even exist) and being the exact person that he knows I long for him to be, simply in order to get his claws into me again so that he could end up doing some devastating, hurtful thing to just destroy me and then when I respond with sadness, depression, etc (although I do my very best not to), he uses it against me as a reason to leave, stating that he is sick of my constant moping and negative mood. this combination of being hurt and then being punished for being hurt by the person who hurt u is so emotionally and psychologically devastating. . And all the while he seems to be enjoying himself quite immensely. I know quite well that him running away and leaving me once again is actually a blessing. I should be grateful to be rid of him but it's so hard. his games and manipulation and disrespect and abuse have worn me down and I know that at some point he will be back to push his way into my life once again but I have to b strong. I have to remember That I have already allowed him to steal 15 years of my life and my happiness away from me. I deserve to be happy if he doesn't deserve one more minute of my time. I wish there was a way to move away to get away from him completely Forever so he could never find me . I think that's my only hope.

[@newlifenewhope5905]

H TC If you could move to another city, that would help you to make a fresh start, because it would not only put physical distance between you (of course, he mustn't know where you live!), but it would help, psychologically, as well, because you wouldn't have constant reminders of him and the things you have done together. You would need to change your phone number, too, so that he can't talk you into revealing your location.

[@zaynab6284]

You go sista

[@divinetime6115]

Narcissist envy children just like they do adults. There is no difference between an adult and child. Try to keep them away from children, you need to go along with courts etc. Feel very lucky if they leave and don't want to see the children. It's a very scary thought but true

[@NarcSurvivor]

This is very true. They envy children, even their own... I have just done a video on this.

[@danielleallen8125]

This is true and I never thought I would ever say this, but.. I WISH my child’s father was not involved. I would even give up child support for mine and my child’s peace and sanity.

[@24kstar]

Yes. There is no low that they won't stoop to. Any normal parent would be humiliated and ashamed to compete with and try to sabotage their own child. But a narc? They'll do it with pride.

[@terridavis-cole7178]

Divine Time , wow you are so right!! I agree emphatically! . My ex-husband was so cruel and took a lot out on the kids. I was so glad he left for so many reasons. My kids are doing well now

[@debbiehowes]

It is a sad truth when it comes to children, courts & narcs. 10 years of courts, finally I gave up everything just to be free. They care about no-one.

[@rsosa312]

Oh my gosh. This was my life for 31 years. So many ruined anniversaries!
Even though it's too late for me to "use" this advice to deal with the situation, it helps so much to gain some validation; some support; some closure.
Thank you.

[@animeloverjunostar]

This is my toxic ass adoptive mom on the day of my daughter's birth she felt the need to sabotage that beautiful moment by saying i had not told her I was having the baby even though my pregnancy was announced by my 2nd trimester. 3 years estranged and it hasn't been better.

[@susa5473]

A narcist would never adopt a baby.

[@1Life2Live007]

What gets me most about this narc is he says he does everything to try n make me happy. But really no. He doesn’t.

[@miniaturerose2805]

This is making an insane amount of sense. My narc used to drive me to work. Any time I was in a good mood they'd bring something up to try to make me miserable and it worked

[@yvonne5773]

I have a narcistic mother so i learned how to please everyone. She was never pleased however. Now i am recovering and very observant if i picked up some traits myself. Thank you for these video's 💜

[@orionism42]

I get a little piece of myself back every time I look at my new phone number that they don't have!

[@Hannah-pn2gs]

He does the same thing when it comes to when I get compliments from other people, he never compliments me however when others do, he says yes, she looks good and quickly brushes it under the carpet and changes the subject.

[@dgontar]

9:16 Your happiness threatens the narcissist because it is being caused by something that doesn't involve the narcissist. The narcissist needs constant appreciation and admiration and attention. If you're happy not because of the narcissist the narcissist interprets this as a failure to appreciate him or her.

[@themaggattack]

This list is so true. Narcs really do hate all these things.
The only one that had me a bit confused at first was the holidays one. You see, because of my narc mother, I hate holidays, myself.
She "loves" the holidays so much that she has to control every bit of them and ruin them for those under her control.
She truly makes the holidays miserable for her family. Then she puts on a big fake smile for friends. It's gross.

[@theredpriest]

I went out with a narcissist before. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but gradually I started to realize that's who they were. She would always be bitter or angry over such common, simple things. We originally met online. And one of our first dates I made a comment saying, "I thought you were as tall as me from your photos." She was a good deal shorter. Her response was, "Sorry to disappoint you!!" Now mind you, this was a beautiful woman. I looked at her confused and said, "You don't disappoint me. I'm not here to be impressed by you. I'm here because I want to be. I'm sorry if that came out the wrong way." But she didn't and couldn't understand that apology or any like them.

[@marydonovan6681]

Well said. I was married to a narcissist, who also was an alcoholic. When I would get ready to go out to the grocery store, for instance, I would put on lipstick, no eye make up, and brush my hair he would have to make a comment. A favorite was “Where do you think you’re going, to a beauty contest?” When we were married and the ceremony says to “love, honor and cherish”, his interpretation was “dominate and control”. I’ve made a new life for myself and attended a 12 Step program on a regular basis. It’s for those who have been efffected by someone’s drinking, Many active alcoholics act like narcissists. He walked out on me, and by doing, I was spared any guilt of making the break. Keep your excellent videos coming. BTW we’ve been apart for 49 years, and he is still on his smear campaign against me.

[@adembasou]

addicts of heavy drugs as well....of course......what could be more selfish=narcissist then destroy a home/kids/family even themselves just for a high

[@stevencastellano1613]

When I got married I asked for love honor and obey (both ways) the pastor said love cherish and obey. I honored her and outright refused to honor me. No one knew my accomplishments and showed me no respect. I obeyed her and she would tell me no. I obeyed, I honored, she not only didn't but let people think I was sexist at her church.

[@gc8024]

Still drinking too?

[@frankjuster8726]

being in the grip of addiction is not the same as narcissism.

[@m.j.2939]

My narc husband has turned me to alcohol to cope making me more ashamed and giving him more ammunition against me. When he publicly tries to mock me about drinking (but it's fine of course that he does) as usual, I just pipe up now and say "well I have to cope somehow!" Shuts him up quick.

[@AmbleWithWen]

I wanna cry son real talk I wish I would’ve found your page sooner

[@jenimolloy]

Were all in this together, friend. You’re not alone. 💜

[@gabbynieves1629]

right????!

[@the_hulk392]

Same here!! I can now see that I was not the issue. She was fake the whole time. 9 years of control over my mind and emotions. Using my disability to make her persona look like a "savior" when it has been abuse for so long.

[@lovettatobeyea190]

Wendy jean-louis Same here!

[@chetpomeroy1399]

I wish I knew everything Michele has told us in her videos 40 years ago.

[@yogib8]

1. Holidays, 2. Happiness, 3. Others Looking Good, 4. Success in Others & 5. When my Children Love Me.... you are so so so right...I remember my 1st thanksgiving with him in our new apartment... we were newly married and I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner...this was so new to me ( when you think they can't do any lower, they will pull new tricks out of the bag)... I truly thought I was dealing with a normal person where I could sit down and rhyme and reason with him...but not so...so I have 15 ppl that day the table is set nicely and he normally sits at the head of the table
...no one sat there..when dinner was served..he stood in the kitchen with his plate and ate standing up. I said honey...you have your seat at the head of the table and he said no I will stand in the kitchen ( I was begging him to please sit with the family)...I was mortified that he would do this in front of all these folks/my family and they kept looking at me and I just couldn't convince him to come and join us...he ate in the kitchen by himself and then leaves to go into the bedrooms and he closes the door...so now I have to spend my time checking in on him and my guests...It was exhausting...and I felt so terrible... there was always something wrong and I was always trying to fix every single thing...I just couldn't keep up.

[@doctorposting]

me and my mom were joking around laughing once when my dad came home and started yelling “I HAD A BAD DAY AT WORK AND YOU GUYS ARE LAUGHING” absolutely unhinged lol

[@prittyugly86]

Omg my hair is down past my hips and my MOM HATES IT soooo much! She tells me to cut it every time I see her. My husband told her to quit saying it 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@Lyrielonwind]

Same with my mother; she cut my hair so everyone believed I was a boy. Later in life; she was always complaining about my long hair.
That's because she doesn't like hers.

[@prittyugly86]

@@Lyrielonwind oh gezzz I'm sorry that must have been traumatizing!!!! She was obviously jealous. Narc moms think their daughters are in a competition with them smh 🙄🙄🙄

[@rightfullyso7062]

Wow... you are heaven sent ! Words have never been spoken truer

[@shemvekhthewanderer8782]

Thank you

[@rightthewrong6050]

OMG! What you say is so true. I go through this everyday with my Narc Fiance.
Note: Don't worry... Not getting married.

[@AdamEdington]

Marriage and monogamy is state enabled morally enforced Narcissism.
It is formally codefied pathological jealousy.
In an open relationship you can take joy from your partner's satisfaction.....but that requires empathy. Something jealousy is incapable of, .
Exclusive monogamy is incompatible with love.
It treats you as a placeholder for someone who can supply me with the feeling that I'm the only person worth Fu****ing. Or the only one worth your emotional attention, and if you cheat you get condemned rather than making it safe to be honest about your desires..
Yes this turns our entire language on its head. We don't even have a concept for the opposite of jealousy.

[@kathywedzik4905]

Its really hard to wrap your brain around the fact there are people DOING THIS. Thank you for your channel

[@skyelite5284]

Wish I saw this video when I was 15, I'm now 50.....sigh

[@caroldominguez1441]

Skye Lite so sorry to hear that.

[@sarisigridbantola5426]

Same here...I am so glad that I got out of it 10years ago...but was in that abusive marriage for 10 years ...now, I am so free and happy!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Stephieandcheech]

Narcissism is on a spectrum. Not every narcissist will exhibit these traits. Nothing complex is ever this cut and dry.

[@georgia9555]

Yes this is not all right.

[@narcsinart7179]

narcissism may be on a spectrum, but the personality disorder is a whole 'nother thing czcams.com/video/VVwVrtaPXUQ/video.html

[@juliequirion5123]

I like the way you explained it

[@Tara-id3rk]

It’s certainly a spectrum. My husband is a narcissist and certainly has many of these traits, however he isn’t “empty” as most people describe narcissism, he has empathy in some (few) situations (death of a child, for example), and he has tried to make me happy during parts of our life. However, some years have been absolute nightmares.

[@jeffshannonmusician]

When we say "narcissist" we mean full blown NPD not a spectrum. She's talking about full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder not just someone a little narcissist.

[@rosellarosetyson869]

Mine hated the fact I had a Master's Degree! He would literally degrade education!

[@jennyl7422]

Congratulations on getting your masters degree! ☺️
I've experienced the same thing.. but my ex wasn't really open about his jealousy but I could tell by the things he would say.. like I could never tell people I had a bachelor's degree because he would say that I would mock other people, look down on people that didn't have one or that I was arrogant.. while I was just very proud of my achievement... I have real bad anxiety so I took longer to get it.. but to say I can't be proud about it is bs.. and when I was halfway and started to doubt he even said well maybe you should just stop.. I'm so glad I pulled through and ignored his advice..

[@timk1512]

Such a great video!! Lived 16 years of that! 9 yrs later I still have scars and insecurities as a result of that relationship. However, my success and happiness has gotten exponentially greater over time.