Tom Segura's and Bert Kreischer's Full Day of Drugs - 2 Bears, 1 Cave Highlight
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- čas přidán 3. 01. 2023
- Highlight From Episode 166: • Drugs All Day | 2 Bear...
Tom and Bert walk each other through their all-day-drug-binge dream scenario, but under the hypothetical that there wouldn't be any repercussions the next day.
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Honestly the most unrealistic part of this is Bert thinking that Leanne would be the slightest bit OK with any of this.
But remember she doesn't know he's doing coke lmfao 😂
Nah the most unrealistic part is Tom thinking he'll stay awake during the movie after the morphine 🤣
Or Bert thinking him and Leanne will be the slightest bit hungry after doing high quality coke and ecstasy..
Thank science somebody said it! Not possible. Asking for a friend 🫣
Nah the least realistic thing is Bert having a glass of water haha
Tom putting all these ideas into Bernts head in an effort to finally end the spiral and be rid of him lmao
Tom definitely plays the long game 😂😂
1 Bear 1 Cave is gonna be way different with Tom being able to speak uninterrupted by Burp.
I don't think there is an end to Bert's spiral
@@gangrenebean I meant as in the end of Blarnt, the end of the spiral would be Bernsks idea of a rockstar ending with all the drugs and booze but he actually just gets real messed up and trips over a power cable off a balcony
rusty bungle I just laughed harder at that than anything I laughed at in 2022
Tom’s sounds like an awesome day spent relaxing in my house wearing comfy sweatpants and Bert’s makes me think of screaming at people in a Dennys bathroom at 3pm and waking up in jail covered in my own vomit and urine.
Underrated and accurate comment
X herion addict from Baltimore MD here and the fact that 15 friends and 4 close friends have died from herion and 9 kids growing up with grandparents and the neighborhood being a place u can find dead bodies from overdoses or the gang wars over turf for the fucking drug market is enough that it's pretty disgusting to encourage that shit on ppl. Specially if u have young ppl that idolize u.
@@dont-touch-mepg1392 k
Dude this is hilarious to picture. Bert yelling at people at Dennys lol
Tremendous day planning, boys. TREMENDOUS.
Thanks Uncle Joey
As someone who is four months sober and struggling with the horror of reality, I thought it might not be a good idea to watch this and boy was I right
Four months boring more like it
I'm at 6 months clean just finished rehab, keep at it man it's worth it.
@@ooberbubble2209 thank you I will
@@Ottophil appreciate the support, you seem like a lovely person
Keep at it, you are worth it. You deserve love from yourself, don’t expect it anywhere else. Once you have self worth you should be ready to accept the beauty in the world, I was.
No doctor gave Bert a Xanax and told him to have a couple glasses of wine for a flight lmao
Only if they wanted him to forget the entire flight and next day!
Pathological liar
“The Oxy… That’s what I miss the most about getting injured.” 😂
Remember y'all, if you need to balance out those two morning oxycodones just drink an iced coffee
Pharm's are stupid for so many reasons.. Keep it natural. Dmt, shrooms, bud.
Nah half a bar will work lmaoo
When you're amped up on your gallon of Iced Coffee take 10-12 Benadryl and watch female wrestling to taper down.
@@SEEYAIAYE 🤣...breakfast of champions
15 scoops of coffee, preworkout, half a vitamin
Everyone in the comments: wow, Tom's day is so chill and Bert, as usual is going to die..
Tom's actual entire day if he had it his way: HEROIN FROM SUNRISE TO SUNSET..
Y'all 2 together is always the Best. Continue to SOAR my dudes!
"A blunt from Bluntos is like a gram of weed"
Bert that's a normal blunt lmao
Don't forget, Brent will eat a 5mg edible and be good....
thats small
Less than a normal blunt lmao
I've never heard so much food planning going on to do with a day that's also supposed to be about taking narcotics. Coke and Molly then off to eat a steak?
Thats the day of people who have never been addicts. God bless them😂😂
@@emmanueloppong9778 LOL. Also... don't drink alcohol prior to mushrooms! Lessens affect of mushrooms.
I mean they mentioned Hunter S Thompson. Dude loved good food.
Any good day of drugs = 0 food for 2-3 days 😂
@@brettnorris12 for me, shrooms lessen the effect of alcohol, or at least I suddenly feel not buzzed drunk and don't feel like drinking anymore. Maybe it depends how much shrooms you take /shrug
Videos like these help me appreciate just how turbulent the minds of comedians are
Buffalo Wild Wings was so out of left field.
Yep. Comedians are a strange bunch. That was a lot of substances
They’ve just run out of things to talk about on these terrible podcasts.
@@YEEYEE-dy8tkyet you still watch and comment, so turns out it doesnt matter. They get paid anyway
Man, this had me smiling ear to ear like a God damn Cheshire cat.
Just two old boys with their finger on the pulses, Bent Krisket absolutely knows what the kids are into.
Before fentanyl this was a real day you could have.
Lmao fr
le sigh...
still is just gotta watch the dosage. Like really really watch it lol
@@Karl_Marksman when you get to the pearly gates dont forget to whip the shit off your shoes buddy
Yeah and now you can’t even get hydrocodone for a broken leg… crazy time we live in
Lemme get this straight: in Brent's fantastical dreamland, and ONLY in said dreamland, he drinks water. I need him as my personal trainer
These two are the best people ever 🤣🤣👏🏼
Nothing is funnier than Bert deciding to actually drink water under these circumstances.
Tom is starting to turn his laugh into Berts laugh 🤣
Bert's my spirit animal!
"she's gonna go in to get the shower, and that's when, (Sniffing noises)" LOLOLOL I almost just died laughing.
God I love these men 🤣 national treasures these two
This is already a classic
This is not the video I needed at the beginning of dry January lmao
This is goated
Tom is looking absolutely phenomenal.
Oxys and that’ll bring me into lunch was hilarious/ dilo intervenes to the neck. Heavy man.
A couple drinks, a joint or six and small bumps of blow throughout the the day was how I survived New Years day
They just described most of my days between the ages of 18-24, maybe 26. Those were the days...
Somebody try one of these and get back to us
Both sound like one hell of a day
Bert is thinking “damn I miss this”.
Currently in recovery and for some reason this fucking killed me😂i needed to smile today
You got this brotha stay strong!
Tom and Bert over here creating the next generation of addicts, making it sound way more fun and or humanly possible than it actually is.
makes me sad that these conversations are viewed as serious by some and gives them the idea that they should do hard drugs. theyre comedians just coming up with hypotheticals...
@@devindailey598 Anyone who would use 2 comedians riffing as an excuse to do hard drugs will find an excuse anywhere. No one who has watched this with no prior inclination to do these drugs will be won over by this, imo at least.
wake up... booze and oxy
nap... wake up for dilaudid,
nap again... wake up for morphine,
sleep...
what a boring fucking day!
they must be terrified of psychedelics if they'd be stoked to drag their asses around on opiates
Yes, that's what's known as "the funny part". Remember this is a comedy podcast not an N/A class
@@WKRP187 whats really funny is you pointing out the “funny part” for me while simultaneously not getting my clear comedic cynicism.
Funnier still, is I knew there would be this type of reply to my comment, and look theres two, would probably be more if I just let it roll.
Love it when people “point out” the obvious and think the person on the other end is going to have some kind of epiphany.
Guys there are only 1000 comedians in the world and these are two of them. Thank them for there service and pat them on the back
Buffalo Wild Wings is going to have to issue a statement saying that they do not recommend you come there on shrooms and take the challenge LOL!!!
I too remember my first joint. They sound like a bunch of rookies with taboos still intact.
Bert was 100% edging when Tom was describing his brunch
I speak with the dead, and Hunter S. Thomson approves of this video.
This killed me 😂
Man I would love to spend a day like this with them. But Uncle Joey must also be there as the voice of self control and reason. 😁😁😁😁😁
Uncle joey would be crucial to steady the ship when things start going a bit too wonky
@@nrsvino Yes to keep things on an even keel and to make sure it doesn't get too out of hand.
Toms definitely a Heroin lover
You have to do each others days together!
“Cokes gone away” 😂😂😂
That breakfast 😮
Literally nailed it
Make a movie of this day 🤷🏼♂️✌️🇦🇺🐾🏆
Tom is the guy who never did drugs when he was young and now loves them
Don’t know him at all.
Sounds like Bert just remembering a past time😂
Funny af ,Would love to hear joey diaz plan a day like this as well. 😂
It must be fun being these guys kid
ah yes true comedy right here.
When you said,"fresh farm sausage". Bert is literally getting a chubby. 🤣
most fun is the Candy Flip...if you know, you know.
Brent drinking water ?!
Serious shit !
I love that he listed that on his drug and debauchery wish list. "I'll lay off the Kool aid. Today's supposed to be special!"
BEst bit ever :)
The way Bort gets so excited about this throughout is incredibly sad.
Yeah convos like this make me miss my early 20’s- I don’t know how these guys can handle that lifestyle these days
They don’t handle that lifestyle. They are old men with families.
They just be eating the food
...... this was all hypothetical.....
This feels like a regular Joey Diaz... monday
Toms seemed like a normal middle school day
I am like thats like the day I have shit to do and need my faculty's day and meet someone and to look clean .
That was riveting
Sounds like Bert is recalling A-day he forgot he had already
6:48 we all know what he really has in that hydroflask! Red Cool Aid hahah
The realism of knowing tom knows exactly what Narcotics do to you and your life. This is a complex segment man. especially for someone who fkd up hard in the past and got it together
Oh Tom knows exactly what he s doing. He also knows many of his audience are recovering addicts if u read the comments regularly. The guys a dick.
Ha.. For real it's nap time at lunch when you throw down, wake up repeat
This is the best shit ever… lmao
I was in the psyc ward one time and I asked the nurse if I could get a lorazapam (was there cause I used to do way to much meth) and she said "I'll definatly get you one I think everyone should have a script in there cabinet"
Are you doing a more appropriate amount of meth now that you’re out?
Yeah they give those out like candy
I went to a psychiatrist. Told him i was depressed and anxious.
He wrote me a prescription for 3 1mg Xanax a day and 2 1m Klonopin, 10 mg Ambien and Wellbutrin to even me out (his words, not mine)
Thankfully my gf put a stop to this.
Bert sounded like meat canyon with that "yeah" after hearing about sausages farm fresh
"Stinks nice and good"
Bert had a chubby after that talk lmao 🤣😅🤣
This is fuckin great!
Dilauted??? holy crap that stuff is insane!!!
Bert sounds like he has really thought this through
I think it would be amazing if you changed the outro song to "one has a tea cup and the other wears a shirt". 😂😂
I need Bert’s doctor immediately
Same conversations as 6 years ago
This video should come with a relapse trigger warning 🤣
As someone who enjoyed opiates to point of selling everything I had, Tom's morning is the best 👌 lmao
Five 10mg lortabs and a 20oz Red Bull was my breakfast every day for a year.
@@StarvieCarvie that'll get you going
Bert Was Made For This Question hahahahahaha
Don’t forget the 2 caps of Miralax lol
I been waiting for these crackhead stories.... 💀💀💯
I mean bert knows how to have fun
"Based on a true sunday"
Couple of middle aged men getting most excited about food and not the drugs
Sounds like my Tuesday’s
Gang gang daddy
Xanax with a limoncello chaser gets me through family functions.
I used to pop 30mg+ oxies and smoke a joint all at once. The high was honestly the best feeling ever!! I miss it from time to time. Then i remember how screwed up my life became. Great memories...lol
Bert looking like he's listening to a 50 shades of gray audio book
Remember. There’s only 24hrs in a day.
Need more uppers man.....
Bert losing his mind over steak…like dude you can just have that
well, we all die someday......might as well do what you love.
Their doctors are probably like yeah were never giving these guys any prescription narcotics ever again.lol
Bert acting like a gram of weed would fill a cigar sized blunt lol
Thats the reaction i had lol. A small joint fits a gram
Doctors orders 😂😂😂
This is the addicts version of fantasy football🤣
No repercussions? Like none? I’d take a oz of coke and oz of dope and just mix it into one. Opiate buzz all day with minimal nodding and a side of numb face? I think so. And a case of cold beer to quench thirst. (If you can’t tell, I’ve been sober for 8 years lol, but they started it…)
He literally described Winston Churchill
Why did the thumbnail change?
Coke followed up by oxy is the best thing ever