How to Read People & Outsmart Manipulation | Joe Goldberg Analysis | You Netflix
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- čas přidán 6. 05. 2020
- Ready to take a deep dive into Joe Goldberg's Psychology?
Joe’s character is a dysfunctional one, and his actions get increasingly unsettling throughout the series.
Now you may be thinking: what exactly can we learn from such a problematic character? Well, on the flipside of this pretty dark personality, Joe actually has a very solid understanding of human behaviour and super sharp social skills that allows him to navigate almost every type of social situation. His ability to quickly detect and analyse people’s patterns and thought processes is what allows him to solicit the exact response he wants from the other person.
Now, you might think this to be troubling, but if you want to navigate through tricky situations and even outsmart manipulation, then there’s a lot you can learn from this quick-witted character.
And in this episode of Psychology Detective, we’re gonna dive deep into the mysterious psyche of Joe Goldberg, and how you can apply these psychological hacks to navigate challenging social dynamics.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
01:37 #1 The Secret wWeapon of Silent Observation
03:00 #2 See Through the Facade & Pretence
06:12 #3 Discover the Hidden Intention
07:57 #4 The Subtle Art of Mirroring & Giving Compliments
10:45 #5 Be Unfazed by intimidation
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#YouNetflix #JoeGoldberg #PennBadgely - Jak na to + styl
What makes Joe so tragic for me, is that he has all the qualities of actually being a good and desirable man. He’s handsome, intelligent, charming and would obviously go the extra mile for his lover. Unfortunately, he takes it way too far and becomes obsessed. If he wasn’t crazy, a lot of women in the show would be vying for him.
Women are still ( Vying) for him .
What I found odd about his character: for someone who professed such 'love' for his partners (first Beck, then Love), he seems incredibly unfazed/unhurt by their eventual rejection of him. (That lack of affect/inability to 'feel' is, of course, a trait of sociopaths.)
@@carlitobrigante330 I think it's bc in his mind he's already rationalized his way out of feeling regret or guilt by telling himself that all his decisions are for really good reasons. So it helps numb him of emotional responses. I honestly thought that aspect of his was odd when it came to Love. The more you invest into a person, the harder it is to unravel your connections with them, no matter the power of your own rationalizations
he looks like ted bundy, why are the crazies hot?
Joe comes across as contrived and pretentious. He's also codependent and vain. Ever if he was not a killer, he would still be a horrible person.
He has a high IQ and is good at manipulating people. He also unfortunately manipulates himself into self delusion that his next "crush" is perfect. Even the most simple minded people can see through faults of the women he's obsessed with. But somehow despite how smart he is overlooks this in the same way over and over and over. It's baffling he cannot see the pattern of repetition he's going through by season 3. There's zero self reflection ability in Joe. This tv show could have 100 seasons where he keeps seeking out damaged women thinking they are perfect and I bet on season 100 he still wouldn't have realised it. That part of his brain must be missing.
Actually he does have a bit of self awareness in season 2 and most importantly in season 3. He has some good development imo, in season 3 he’s trying to be better and his kill count significantly reduced. And the thing he does at the end was very good development I think
With Beck, at least, he knew that she was not 'perfect': his very mission was to help her to become the 'best' version of herself.
Stopped reading after you mention IQ
The women he seeks out (except Love) aren't "damaged", they are just imperfect people like everyone else that contradict Joe's idea of a soulmate
@@Johnnysmithy24 yes he can get redemption at some point, people ignore all those redeemable hints.
You forgot to mention one great thing....He READS.
He reads ppl like reading a book
@@goldsword0531 actually books
increases brain power
@@keithlewis8405 Haven’t there been studies done that other media forms can “increase” brain power just as much though? Reading more just makes you better at reading.
@@gummy5862 i dont think they meant the action itself increases brain power, but the books that are read. but i think that counts as knowledge
That’s his only escape fromhis horrible reality. He doesn’t live in his own reality he lives in fantasy so he has to keep on reading to feed into that. Nothing he does for self development. He does everything as a part of his horrible reality escaping.
I love the analysis of Joe, especially his being a quiet observer.
I think the reason why he hates bully’s is due to him being bullied throughout his childhood. He doesn’t want anyone going through what he did.
Right.
absolutely.
I love the social critique aspect of the show. It almost feels like a satire of the millennial world sometimes
So what should he be? A time traveller from the 1850s?
@@anonymousbee How did you get that from what I said?
@Shimohira Reika he edited the comment. This wasn't the original one lmao
And then there's Love, the only person who could outsmart Joe. I think it would be amazing if you make a video analyzing Love's personality, she's definitely one of the most complex female characters that ever written.
I mean (? She kinda didn’t in the end
meh not reallly because if she was smarter than joe, she would've known he took adrenaline to stop him from being paralyzed at the end
I disagree 💀
Not really I think that the only reason she seemed smarter is because we say season 2 through joes eyes and as what’s confirmed about joe is that he always thinks his new crush is perfect so ofc he wouldn’t believe or see the small hints love is actually a sociopath just like him because he always thinks they’re better then he will ever be
If she actually outsmarted him she would be alive and him dead but no she's dead he is alive
Being too quite makes you suspicious.
And some people can sense if you're looking at them in a judgemental way..Like sensing a predator sizing you up.
That's a cool thing about love, she can read people while maintaining that social persona, which makes it harder to read her.
i agree, i'm a chatty observer, i talk bs to sway ppls attention
But Joe is not completely quiet. He talks and gives witty response
the last point really stands with me because i have people in my life who try to intimidate me and when i show emotion they use that over me because they know that is my weakness. I really do believe that if you match the energy of your intimidator by standing with solidarity and not falling for their tactics it can really make them second guess themselves.
This is about the useful traits
I always believed that if you make yourself non threatening the intimidator would no longer see you as a threat but I have since learnt that a predator is no longer a predator without prey and power is given.
His desire for perfection is his downfall.
I don’t really see it as a desire for perfection, in fact I think it’s the opposite. He doesn’t want perfect he was someone to fix. It’s stems from his mother who was obviously far from perfect. Beck was a mess, he obsessed over Love until she accepted everything about him and Marianne had baggage stacked to the moon. When his marriage was working out fine is when his eyes drifted.
This is just my interpretation however.
@@youngnastyman Very good observation. I agree with you. I think ultimately by having that need to fix them, Joe sabotages himself because in fixing them it is not about them, it's all about him! He is extremely self-destructive, but not in an obvious sense. Physically and mentally he always preserves himself. He is witty, charming and a generally likeable dude in social scenarios, but as soon as you peel away a couple of layers, that is who Joe is. He is cunning and acutely narcissistic. What I want to see is somebody try to fix Joe. Joe's always trying to change somebody else. I wonder if we will see a character try to change Joe, without giving him a choice. Joe is yet to find a woman that genuinely loves him.
If he wanted perfection , he wouldn't date these woman
It's actually been studied that most bullies actually do not have abnormal insecurities.. to the contrary most have an unhealthily strong ego and self esteem. They aren't people to be pitied but rather ostracized.
We always seek what we lack, in this case bullies they seek power, control and the feeling of being better than which makes their actual day to day reality a mixture weakness, vulnerability and inferiority however not all cases are the same.
@@yanieelidrissi2562 "Research studies have proven that there is no link between kids who behave aggressively toward other kids and low self-esteem. In fact, psychologists have found that kids who behave like bullies have high self-esteem, but that they are very "shame-prone." That means they are afraid their failures or shortcomings will be exposed. A person can have problems with shame and still have high self-esteem, and this is what makes a person act like a bully. Their mean behavior toward others keeps their self-esteem high because it takes their own and others' attention away from the parts of themselves about which they are ashamed." - Mary C. Lamia Ph.D.
"Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people in order to feel better about themselves. While many bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school, new research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills. They enjoy being cruel to others and sometimes use bullying as an anger management tool, the way a normally angry person would punch a pillow. Research does support the fact that bullies have low empathy, and they really don’t know how it feels to be in someone else’s shoes."
There are many other studies that support this but this was sourced from an article in psychology today. Not to say there aren't insecure bullies but it's in no way a majority or a rule of thumb. They are in no way victims in most cases and even if they were their treatment of others is not acceptable in light of any past experiences.
@@deepblue1846 Yes of course what you said is 100% correct what I wanted to point out is just this all cruelty springs from weakness in the case you stated though they have excellent self esteem they're ashamed of some parts which drives them to bully but isn't this shame at it's core weakness the inability to accepte one self as it is? We may have different words for it and in different degrees but all evil begins with fear.
@@deepblue1846 an abnormal ego equals narcissism and narcissism exists when you need to overcompensate your self esteem so yea bullies still have insecurities,someone who boosts theirself up does it because they don’t actually feel that they are enough
@Deep Blue, bullies are narcissists. Can't pity them, can't change them only way is to steer away from them.
To quote Perks of Being a Wallflower, "we accept the love we think we deserve"
Joe's psych and sociopathy derive from his earlier childhood traumas and experiences, as many people would put that he has "mommy issues", he's only searching for the love and affection he feels he deserves from the lack, and over compensates for this when he feels he's stumbled onto it and will do anything to save it, but it is also a self delusion as well.
Remember the detective talking to Matthew that literally debunked all of Love's and Joe's plan in 1 second but didn't do anything about it? Like she literally said it step by step lmao
What did she say
One of the problems with S3 is that they really miss a lot of this. Sure, there's a tad, but it's too predictable and he gets a lot of things wrong that he wouldn't have in S1-2.
Sushi Fish, or maybe in season 3 joe as a character is trying to change and not be that same person anymore which is what love is basically
I assumed that was due to the extra stress and bullshit that love was causing and the fact he has a kid so it makes sense why he isn't at 100%
Girl what r u talking about if anything he was the most strategic this season
It’s cause he doesn’t stalk as hard as he used to anymore
actually with bullies its the other way around. they tend to have unusual selfesteem, thats what makes them feel so confident to think they can get away with it.
I was a bully when I was younger and I can say that is quite accurate
@@speedysparta403 so what would be the way to handle them then
@@Variusofficial mhm I'm curious my guess is maybe making them realize through your body language/ words that you're somehow superior to them not necessarily in the aspect of aggression but other things such as making them think your opinion of them is respected in the community so they are aware of their actions in front of you
@@tabassummohona1965 You're basically saying get your clout up, then make them look stupid when they try shit.
Some people have a natural way to detect personalities like Joe. Empaths have issues with Narcs and Socialpaths. Usually they (Joes) will always drop their mask. Usually when you try to deepen intimacy, it starts to fracture because they are usually shallow. You will notice how you share, but they don’t.
It's usually down to how much self esteem you have. People like Joe tend to gaslight and guilt trip people a lot, a person who knows their own self worth (even an empath) would realize that and stay away from them.
Empaths don't exist. Watch Ana Psychology and listen to her explanation.
I noticed this about myself a while back and it’s made me question whether or not I’m capable of forming a true intimate connection. I’m a charismatic guy and have no trouble courting women, however it seems that surface level connection far as I’m capable of going. I’ve been broken up with because a girl felt as though she “didn’t know me.” It’s a pattern with multiple partners where I basically don’t open myself to them.
Joe is an INxJ has to be, being a social chamillion, not being intimidated by bullies, standing up for people who can't stand up for themselves, having a high I.Q instantly being able to read a situation etc. The speaker stated that this isn't the ideal way to live, but if you are not an INxJ you wouldn't understand this lifestyle, it's the only way we know how to live, being a walking paradox is hard even for us to understand, but it's the only way we know and this is how we survive in this fake world that we were born into
Ive never seen a charactor think so similarly to myself as joe.
Your last words just made your whole comment less credible for other poeple.
@@akpade im sorry you feel that way, can't please everyone
@@akpade Less credible for other people but a correct statement none the less.
Every person on the planet hides behind a fake mask. Who they want the world to see. Not who they are. The only question is why? For most its to hide a vulnerability. For the personality disorders its to hide the nothing/monster underneath. We ALL have masks we wear but 98% of the population can't see its a mask cause they can't see through the mask. An INFJ for example is hardwired to pick up on bodylanguage, patterns in behaviour, the cause and effect of feelings. And we always get clues that don't fit the mask. We see through the mask. And the beautiful part is when we then treat people as we see them not as the mask wants us to treat them...people open up quite naturally to us. They don't hide from us cause they CAN'T hide from us.
Same goes for the personality disorders. They like to manipulate and trick people. They like digging holes for others to fall into. I can see them digging. But they can't see that I see. I believe the punishment should fit the crime and I practice the emotional/social variant of Judo (a gentler way of fighting back using your opponents strength against them while preserving your own energy). So I pretend I don't see them digging. Than when they try to push me into the hole they will realise I flipped the board on them and they themselves end up in the hole. Usually mad at me for throwing them into the hole. "Uhh you jumped in, you dug that hole yourself and technically I didn't know there was a hole to begin with didn't I".😈 Treat others as you want to be treated buddy. Also dominating an infj is useless....they are sigma and don't do group pressure. Honey I am not part of the group, I am temporarily socialising with the group....there is a difference. 😃
I relate so fucking much like on opposite of the one who thought it was less credible I do think that the last sentence juste prove your comment is credible.
So glad that you make video about how he observe things that's most interesting part of you
I know it a lil scary to "learn" from Joe but you made some great points. I love how he is able to see through everyone! Such a smart but dangerous man.I would love to see more videos from you! 👏👍
Yeah dangerous for cheater girls.
I wouldn't call it scary, being manipulative isn't always bad, it all depends on why and what you're manipulating.
@@edward3287 what💀
Love the way you explain each and every aspect of it . Keep posting this kind of psychological facts from popular series.
Make another on Beck’s choices in sexual partners and the difference in treatment towards them - her good guy/bad boy complex. Explain she is uninhibited with men she just met or that obviously don’t care about her but holds back when she is with someone she actually likes (Joe).
I kind of hate the narrative that people who are quiet are more observant. I feel like at times this can be true, but I think there are also plenty of outgoing people who are observant as well.
Joe is even able to control the audience. I wanted him to not get caught after he k?lled Beck's boyfriend. He gave the audience a reason why the man deserved to d?e !! that's how smart he is.
I think that’s the point of the show: you look at his perspective and he always comes up with reasons as to why he murders somebody.
@@hugzpls yes. It’s weird. I’m learning to see through the bs. I still like the character but he’s a cold blooded k?ller
This was interesting the only thing I would disagree with is the bullying part there have numerous studies done showing that bullys actually have inappropriately high levels of self esteem which is why they feel like they are in the position to bully in the first place I just thought that was interesting because it seemed counterintuitive to me at first
The books are so different. The third one came out like last week btw
How are the books different?
@@dailytrash8540 Well,
Spoilers for the 3rd book
The third book, You Love Me, follows Joe after he gets cut off completely by Love a few days after Forty (the baby, they didn't name him Henry)
In this book, Joe simirarily falls in love with a librarian, known as Mary Kay. Mary Kay also has a kid, but is way older (I think she was 17-18?)
Joe isn't in love with Love anymore (obviously) and stalks her instagram only because of his kid
In this book he doesn't directly kill anyone, meaning he's actually kind of developing but in Season 3 he still killed people
@@mari2639 to me the first and second book is somewhat like the series, the third one sure is another thing. And btw the book 1 is very good, with more humor, showing how shit beck was and that benji was a very fucking good guy rip.
@@wilhelmkuss8626 Ye, they just completely changed the story because it didn't go with the "killer joe" thing
I read the first book , I didnt know there was more books ! ♡
Can we get more videos? I would love to see more character analysis like this one!
I feel like I'm learning to be a murderer now
Incredible analysis of Joe!
empathy can be something to help or hurt others
So true.
this was a really great analysis!
This is very well done, hope you'll make more videos!
I love it!!! It was such a great explanation. I can definitely agree with Step 4 as I have used that “hack” but eventually turned aside due to it inauthentic intentions. Keep it going!
As INFJ like me, i truly understand the type of personality that he portrayed (as INxJ). I’m also a silent observer in dynamics. Its just of his tragic backstory or being not so socialize made him tend to manipulate people to get what he wants easily yet develop his crush on the girl since his strong intuition in the love of the first-sight. People found him charming, intelligent, considerable, cool and whatsoever but don’t ever fall for this kind of person entirely because this person has potential to be having personality of dark traits once people treat him unjustly unless you’re a naive person.
What's Infj, Inxj??
Unfortunately I always overlooked thinking it’s a usual stalker story thanks for putting it under the spotlight
I'm so sad that there aren't any more videos on here 😩 this was so amazing to watch!
come ooon, only one video? this would've been my new favorite channel
My biggest takeaway is you!
Also I came here to learn, but as soon as you started, it felt like you're talking about me, and I haven't watched it but now I will. Thanks and keep the great work! 🙏
I thought this was correct but if you rewatch this show, you quickly realize the show tricks you into believing he’s much better at these things than he is. If you keep track of all of his moments of convince I call it, he loses almost every time. He almost never wins his way in conflict moments. At one point I had him at 2 for 28 on getting his way when conflict was central. It’s why he’s forced to resort to actual violence and tricks. And his true genius is an ability to stay in social circles he’s rejected by. This is uncommon, and allows that silent observation stance combined with a genuine desire to always appear as the perfect boyfriend to elevate his status in combination with always acting on confirmed knowledge.
I agree! So why do you think he resorts to tricks and manipulation rather than being an authentic, decent person?
@@astridthepastrid a lack of trust and cynicism toward the efficacy of being good
so youre saying that joe doesn't believe in being good? how come he is the 'perfect' boyfriend and understands that concept somewhat then?
@@astridthepastrid I think he’s a classic narcissist, very insecure about who he really is to the point he wants to always look like the best thing to everyone at all times. Plus he’s got some sort of serious preoccupation with magical thinking, like an adult child of an alcoholic, which makes sense cuz that’s derived from mostly the instability aspect of that environment and Joe’s early life is obv a mess. But he seems to have fixated on the idea if he can be perfect to the one person he sees as a paradigm he in turn will be good.
Lol he is a psychopath. Whatever he does either related to murder or trying to hide it. Dnt know from where you find genius in that. He is an outright mad man should not be living in civilized society. There is no genius in him. Genius dnt kill.
Yes I'm watching YOU and watched this to gain more insight in to the Character Joe. Great job on this content and editing of this video.
❤️ Thanks for the video, wish you get back and continue
This video was amazing, you should make another one, especially now with the new seasons
I just finished the series last night and now i’m watching this video. I don’t know if anyone else was, but during the entire series I was taking notes on Joe. Complete genius (and a fantastic K:D ratio)
hes always 2 steps ahead of everyone
i want someone as intelligent as him to maybe face joe and i want to see what happens
kindly share the note
Looking forward to the growth of this channel
Amazing analysis video 👍
so clear and thorough
I really love your video!!! See you the soonest on your next episode!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Penn Bagley just has the perfect face for Joe. He's good looking enough to be approachable, but also, if you look at him correctly, looks like a crazed maniac.
Wow amazing video definitely going to use these hacks!
I've been looking for an analysis of Joe's modus operandi like this for a long time. Pls more videos like this from other shows/movies 🙏🏻
I am soon starting at a new workplace and I vowed myself to start afresh and not give away too much too quickly. So I will try to read people objectively first as you've described.
About You: I'm at season two and I paused a little and when I came back to it, it really hit me how crazy Joe is. When you watch the first two series one after another it doesn't really resonate so much as when you've stepped away from it for a bit.
I want to see this as soon as possible because it's so interesting and I saw a clip on CZcams and I saw some similarities that how I talk and think to my inner self . So, I am now even more curious at watching it .
underrated channel. you deserve many more subs!
Please make more of these types of videos!
Was anyone else on joes side the whole time
great video. i havent watched YOU but I'm enjoying you. Hope you upload again
Awesome first video! I hope to see more like it in the future. You earned a sub :).
Great video! I just finished season 2 with my brother last night, hope you continue to upload!
Thank you Mirrah! very interesting assessment and video. i love videos on analyzing people's hidden intentions.
You should do more videos like this ❤️
Joe couldn't read Love through her Facade but Joe's Character is one of the Best Written Characters
Thank you so much for the video.
This was an amazing video!! Looking forward to more
Brilliant video and analysis!
You earned a subscriber today!
This was a great video👍
this was actually really cool
You are great.....nice observation....keep going....
The way u explained this character was remarkable and would love to see you in ur next video with interesting psychological hack.
Fantastic video!
This is amazing
Wait, she uploads one genius video and just haven’t been in touch for a year? I’m concerned. I want more great content from her.
Joe Got her
@@trestuart5116 Oh noo
@@trestuart5116 This comment made me actually laugh out loud
@@trestuart5116 she is joe
It's been 3 years
It's not a series it's a experience excellent one
Keep up with the good content
You can practice all these social tactics without being a murdering sociopath. Juuuust saying.
Does the video say you have to be a Killer?
@@hindenburg1596 implied?
@@danielj8177 How?
@@hindenburg1596 you’re asking how a video that highlights a fictional sociopathic killers traits implies those traits may have sociopath tendencies? If I cared more I could show you but I can’t understand it for you.
@@danielj8177 It doesn't imply anything, the video describes positive traits of a character you can learn from to better your life, doesn't matter if the character is sociopathic, the video literally states, with the example of mirroring, that if you do it too much, it could make your life worse or you couldn't find a real relationship. You can learn positive traits of absolutely everyone, if they have these, even if it's the rhetoric skill of hitler or the warmth of Ghandi, just because they derive the skills from a psychopathic person doesn't mean they tell you to be psychopatic, that's absolutely nonsense
Good job on the video !
Great content ...loved it
excellent vid learned a lot most definitely will give it a second watch thank you !
As a writer this info is gold!
The irony and pitfall of your perspective is to believe that his perspective is objective. He was highly judgmental and only assumed to know something about those people without having enough information for most of the claims he makes about the people he observes. He also doesn't bother to test his asumptions. He just seems to assume he is right because he thinks he is smarter and better than everyone else. I can't rember it perfectly because it has been a while since I watched the show, but as far as I remember he was wrong many many times with the assumptions he made which got him and people around him into a lot of trouble many times.
Many times? His assumptions were not always correct but often enough to get him what he wants. That doesn’t make the video wrong or changes anything by the given tips
@@cartier8062 I never wrote that the video is completely wrong or doubted the usefulness of the tips in any way.
I only said that the Protganist of YOU is clearly not objective in his observations.
He is very observant and he pays a lot of attention, but his conclusions are highly subjective, but because he actually takes the time to pay better attention to what is happening is a useful thing to do and therefore the advice of doing that is valid and useful.
Also being in the mids of season 3 now shows me that so far he can get himself out of trouble and find one (not the best necessarily) solution to prevent being caught even though he screwed up. Is that really what he wants or is it what he feels like he needs to do to survive and what was it he really got when he wanted it and did he really wanted what he thought he wanted?
His current situation seems to suggest, not really.
WHY LOVE?!?!
THEY WERE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!
but not for henry ;(
Eh their similarities is like adding fire to fire; it’s just gonna burn more in a bad way
Great information
He gained control over his sick side while love never even had any control and just lost it more and more
Love ya channel 💯
Admin, you are very good.
Wow, great analysis
very good. I loved it
nice work, keep it up.
Thanks for it 😊🙏🙏🙏
Hey! This video is just amazing. It would be great if you can create more videos like this. 😊✨
What a great video👍
great video keep going like this
Great analysis and nice editing too. Can’t wait to see this channel blow up in the future!
💀
so amazing video plz make moree
Amazing video
love the content
Never seen it but looks interesting by the way you talk about it
This video should have more views
Please please make more videos like this bcoz u r really good at this 👄
Good video :)
Thanks
Ah thanks! My first actual lesson on becoming joe goldberg