It's a Book About NOTHING! | The Missus Review
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- čas přidán 23. 10. 2023
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The title is accurate, because this book MISSUS the point of telling a story.
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This reminds me of those slice of life, fluff fanfics that you read simply to see your paring interact with each other. Nothing really happens, but you enjoy it anyway because you love how it makes you feel. Like literary comfort food. The only difference is The Missus focuses on characters I hate and couldn’t care less about.
Well said!
Seriously, so much of modern traditionally published literature is just fanfic-stuff now, basically. Someone online said that authors like Colleen Hooper are for people who never went through a Wattpad phase and it's SO TRUE!
@@StCrimson667At first it was cool to see fanfiction authors getting writing careers, but now I'm kind of annoyed that I'm seeing lukewarm storytelling being sold in stores when fanfic is free for a reason. It's a labor of love, but if you're going to start charging people, you need to up your game and improve the writing quality.
Macaroni Loves Cheese: A Tale of Comfort
Potatoes Love Being Mashed: An Erotic Tale
The three minutes of Krim and Her Highness the Book Queen interacting is more romantic than anything El James has ever written.
It's because there's true love and you can understando why they like each other
I wanna see her in more videos, she was fun
YES! I would also like to see the Book Queen in more videos ☺
Admittedly, that's not a high bar to clear, but they cleared it by the height of the empire state building.
I haven’t gotten to this part so idk if that refers to his wife/gf or his cat and honestly it could go either way
Krimson going "Notice the abundance of nothingness that is occuring in this scene" is making me imagine a sommelier trying to sell a particularly tasteless wine lmao
"This wine is like air. Tastes like it too."
Love that sentence
He had to do an edit with the sponsorship section. Even if you have already watched, please have the video playing in the background
Confirmed, there was a miscommunication with the sponsor before, but it's fixed now. All views, new and old, are appreciated!
@@KrimsonRogue came back to finish the review, but the book's plot was so bad i forgot literally everything, guess i gotta watch again lmao
Finally, a good* excuse to rewatch the review
I was going to anyway, but it's nice to have an excuse
@@KrimsonRoguecurrently rewatching
Can I ask just what the miscommunication was? I don't pay attention to sponserships unless it is raid...then I immediately close the video and never watch it...
First there was “The Mister”, then “The Missus”, if James makes a third book it’ll probably be called “The Mister and the Missus.”
I hope the third one is called "The mistress."
And what little story could be summed up in the letter Z. Since would put us all to sleep.
@Grumbless I misread that as "The Mattress" at first, honestly, I'd read it
I hope it's "The Series was a Mistake, I'm sorry."
@@KairiMorini hope it doesn't come out
I'm just going to reiterate what I said about El James before: I pray to every god and demon in the multiverse that she's haunted by the ghost of every tree pulped to publish every word she's written. And I'll add that she owes the universe every watt of power wasted by the presses to print them.
This is the author version of wishing they would step on Lego. I tip my hat to you, diabolical friend
Yes please that’s what I’m been saying, ever since Dominic Noble’s videos on 50 shades…😡😡😡😡😡 why does she continue to abuse all lovers of the written word with her putrid trash
This is a beautiful and epic burn, I salute you!
👏👏
This comment sums up the author and the book perfectly, thank you for speaking my thoughts exactly.
Today I, a cis woman asexual, learned that "blue balls" is not just, like...a metaphor? And it was thanks to a krimsonrogue review of The Missus. I now have to live with this fact forever.
I am so sorry for you since this is not even knowledge you will ever need. Or like... have anything to do with really. It is like being handed a spoon when you need to cut something.
...as another asexual cis woman, i am not done with the review, and therefore finding out from this comment that blue balls aren't a metaphor. vaguely horrified by this knowledge
Of course it's a metaphor. If it wasn't your balls would actually have to change colour to blue. Now that would be a bad bad symptom i think, but in really what we call blue balls is harmless, and as I've recently found out, happens to women too, almost exactly the same thing, only it's not the balls hurting but i guess the ovaries
you'll get a lot of men saying their balls are going to "burst" or some shit, but no, blueballs is completely 100 percent harmless, just annoying
I am embarrassed to admit this, but honestly, I thought it was more of an emotional state of frustration, haha. I am relieved to hear that the balls do not actually turn blue, and fascinated to hear that a similar thing happens in women. This video has turned into a very strange learning experience.
Last November, I made my first attempt on a romance novel. My mother offered to review it. She said it sucked, possibly due to my lack of experience.
Well, at least it wasn’t THIS bad.
Oof, way for your own mom to roast you like that 😂
Hey, if it’s any comfort, you now know a few different ways of *not* writing a romance so you’re definitely improving.
Remeber the old saying. The first draft of everything is shit.
You've done more than most. You've finished the first draft. Now just clean and refine
As someone who wrote stories all their life and is now working on the first novel that they plan to publish, I cannot stress how true what @TheDapperDragon said is. After finishing my first draft, I was elated. "This is great!" After re-reading it halfway while cleaning it up, I thought "This is dogwater!"
You just need to keep refining it until you're satisfied. Get as many trusted opinions as you can, but at the end of the day, don't nix an idea or element you love just to please them, but definitely do what you can to refine it and blend it into the story better. Keep on writing!
These videos should be a playlist called: "What Not to Do When it Comes to Romance"
How El james managed to write a _second_ book on an otherwise boring premise is one of life's greatest mysteries
That's the neat part!
She didn't.
The Mister 3: Alessia and Maxim Watch Paint Dry
It's because she is not passionate about her own life and any fantasy she can come up with and have the talent to write will suffice for her to live through.
“Money!” -Mr Krabs
Trying to get through one of Krimsons videos without saying: "Wait.....what?!" at least once is nearly impossible. The baffling decisions in these books are numerous.
I just pause the video and look at the video in confusion, then replay it to make sure I heard it right
Me: My writing sucks, I don't know if I'll ever make it as a career author.
The Missus: **exists**
Me: Oh wait never mind I'm an amazing writer.
I feel that. I despair ever getting published, then I remember things like this and Twilight did and I feel more optimistic.
@@ebagentjSame. I worry a lot about the publishing process and if anyone will read what I'm writing and like it... and then there's this crap and I think "well, it looks like I'm off to a better start than I realized"
The cunning plan line is probably a reference to Blackadder, British comedy show starring Rowan Atkinson. The character Baldrick has the line “I have a cunning plan” regularly but the plans are stupid and/or obvious. So Maxim’s plan being dense actually somewhat makes sense.
Is it as Cunning as a fox who used to be professor of cunning at Oxford University?
@@NoOne-jx6hw yes, and who has since moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning
The use of the phrase there is much like the use of the quote from Bridgerton I suppose.
it's sacrilege that Blackadder gets referenced in this book. Rowan Atkinson, Ben Elton, and Richard Curtis are actually good writers.
I'm a novelist hoping to get published. If my books are bad, at least they're not boring! Very encouraging to know the bar is on the floor. Thanks for the confidence boost, Krimson!
Every time I feel bad about my writing, I put on his Empress Theresa review or, if I wanna see something that was not self published, The Mister. Immediately makes me feel so much better about myself because I may be a terrible author, but at least I am not THAT bad.
Honestly I will absolutely read anything bad if the concept and ideas are interesting. Hell my favorite series right now is called "so I'm a spider so what," which is not the best written book but the ideas and characters are so interesting I can't help but fall in love with it.
I wish you luck getting published!!
Same. I listen to book critiques and feel much better about my novel
Makes me feel better too and my stuff is on Wattpad 😂
But glad that my readers actually enjoy my original stories...they would tear this one apart
i've been writing as a hobby and i'm not sure anything i write will ever get published, but i'm only on my second long-form story and somehow it makes PUBLISHED BOOKS (like this one) look like garbage
Here’s a meaningless statement to feed the almighty algorithm. Praise our CZcams overlords.
Engagement
More sacrifices for the algorithms's mighty fire!!
Thanks for the reminder, have a meaningless answer ;)
N-Gauge, Mint
Here's another meaningless statament for the algorithm :]
I admire Krimson's self-control to go through this video without using that "NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING" meme. I had to play it in my mind several times.
"YOU ARE SO STUPID!" Would also fit many times
A book so forgettable that, even watching a re-upload of an in-depth video on it, I can't remember a damn thing that happens. Can't wait to watch/listen to this 50 times while working!
Speaking as someone who has an older sister and feels less successful than them, if they had died and I dreamed about my own body replacing theirs on the slab, my initial interpretation of the dream would be "The wrong child died and I should be there instead of them." And I imagine that's what most people would assume a dream like that to mean looking through a purely objective lens.
For Maxim to have that dream and come to the conclusion that his brother is rooting for his success, he either thinks highly of himself to the point of narcissim or he's so far removed from any relationship with his brother that they'd be strangers if not for similar genetic coding. The narcissim route could've worked if James refined the idea, but I doubt it was intentional on her part.
Just realized an easy way to make Maxipad’s “oh no, am I gonna pass on a genetic blah blah blah to my and Alessia’s kids?!” thing work sooo much more: have it be that his and his mom’s relationship ISN’T strained in the first three quarters of this duology. Think about it: halfway through The Missus, Earl of Thiccdick here finds out that he’s got nothin’ to worry about genetically ‘cause he and Kit were only half-brothers ‘cause his mama’s a hoe, and THAT’S what makes him grow to resent her, ‘cause he “thought better of her”. This way, you a) have his central conflict evolve over the course of the story, & b) open the door to both some character development AND some self-aware comedy when Maxipad does some soul-searchin’ and decides to bury the hatchet ‘cause, after all, HE’S a hoe too
EARL OF THICCDICK 🤣🤣🤣
OH RIGHT THE IRONY it would be funny
You're better at this than E.L.
Maxipad 😂
This book serves as a great sleep aid
Clobber yourself 'til you pass out?
That and it’s so boring I can feel my eyes drooping even as I tried to read the first chapter a few days ago. SinceI had to read it on a dare from friends.
Ok, but credit where it’s due.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“No. I’m going to tell you to fuck off!”
Is a pretty funny exchange. It gave me a chuckle.
And then he lets him in anyway >.>
I didn’t say it the first time I listened to this, but I just want to point out that the coffee scene at 22:28 is kind of frustrating because I’m someone who’s written a short story where two people have tea in the park and ITS SO EASY TO MAKE IT MEAN SOMETHING, E.L JAMES! I had the antagonist bring the protagonist tea in a truce moment because he was curious about what the hero was doing there. And the comment of “how do you know how I take my tea” comes up to subtly show that the villain actually cares about the hero enough to know what his tea order is! It can have meaning, every scene can have meaning, no matter how small, and James and people like her frustrate me. Because they keep getting rewarded for the crap they put out.
Y’know the line “how do you know how I have my tea” is incredibly ominous without the context of the antagonist caring
Like, it’s such a benign thing for an antagonist to know, let alone remember. What else might the antagonist know if they know something so small?
@@stillincompetent6844That just shows you how powerful a line/moment is. Because that little benign piece of knowledge can change a character
@@stillincompetent6844 yeah, the protagonist doesn’t know that of course, so he’s obviously suspicious.
Even if the villain doesn't outright know, they could probably guess well, if they are a long time nemesis.
You're comment engaged me more than any page of The Missus or The Mister ever could.
I'm sitting here having feels and I,haven't even read the story. That shows it's a solid idea.
The Missus feels like EL James tried to right a slice of life book, but forgot what makes those kinds of books good, predominantly good and enjoyable characters. I love seeing characters I’m invested in in domesticate and peaceful situations, the simplicity of it all combined with wonderful characters carries the simple plot dynamics. But the Missus doesn’t have the enjoyable characters to carry along a slice of life, so it just falls flat in its face before it even begins to walk. It’s lackluster and dull books like this the fuel me as a writer to write in the first place, it pushes me learn and evolve my writing above and beyond simply out of spite for crappy books who care so little for the art of writing.
These videos are so rewatchable that I don't even need to play it in the background, I'm just excited to listen again. Which is really impressive when the story is about nothing, lol
Krim is just that good. I rewatch his videos all the time
I'm with him though. I watched the review in its entirety the day it was originally posted and now, coming back, I can't remember a single thing that happened.
Well since you had to reupload, I have to re-comment.
The Gin craze was in the 1800's, so I feel like that was a plot point from when this started as a period romance set when gentry were actually still landed by and had responsibilities from the crown. It's also adding to Maxim's family having a rather destructive impact on the poors beyond sharing a name with the architect of the Potato Famine in Ireland. Gin saw a massive spike in acholic addiction, grisly accidents, and even deaths by alcoholic overdose. And while the poor were chastised, the rich were praised for being able to give speeches sloshed.
This being intially a historical fiction piece makes SO much sense...with Maxim having the position he has...and with the way EL James treats Alessia and her home country. Now, I'm not saying that Albania is not conservative, esp in smaller towns or whatnot but EL and Maxim seem to think that it got stuck in 19th century and no parts of it changed or progressed whatsoever with maybe exception of technology. but in previous book it's a shock to MaxiPad that Alessia knew what movies and TV were. and his weried doubts that the wedding, officiated by registry office or court would not be legal or real. edit: It'll aslo make more sense with the whole Caroline thing...because she was Maxim's lover a.k.a in a relationship with him but instead married his elder brother-the heir. It'd make more sense in 1800's for a woman to marry the man who stood to inherit the estate and the Lady of the Manor, instead of his poorer/spare brother. But in 2010s when people including aristocracy can actually choose who they marry...and the whole class/inheritance thing isn't as prominent there is no reason why an adult woman would be marrying a man she doesn't love because 'he's the heir'. UNLESS SHE WANTS TO. Like, they're aristocrats, not royal family. and even royal family went more lax with these things. also it's 2010s....as a woman, even a high class one, Caroline has different avenues than just marriage. she doesn't HAVE to marry an heir because 'he'll take care of her' and 'she'd be provided for' like in 1810s. also women are equal in inhereting stuff.
@@ninavale.This makes so much sense. I kept wondering why she thought English people still care about an earl, like IRL in this day and age there's no way the paparazzi would be photographing him because nobody would care, but in the 1800s it would have been a bigger deal. I don't know if this means EL James thinks British people's perception of the aristocracy hasn't changed since the 1800s or she just got lazy and didn't bother adjusting that aspect of the story which the change in time period, and I don't know which is worse.
@@mattdew3460 I'd say she got lazy. She made this thing a modern au of Poldark, because writing contemporary stuff is easier and requires less research than historical fiction. but she was still writing it with Poldark in the front of her mind and didn't bother with changes. because she surely KNOWS what shows in the news, and public intrest. SHE'S A BRIT. SHE LIVED IN UK HER WHOLE LIFE AND SHE LIVES IN LONDON. I bet SHE cannot name a living earl or couldn't name one until she begun writing this book.
Sorry for the reupload folks. Had to fix something for the sponsorship ad in the beginning, but everything should be in order now.
Enjoy the review (because I find it hard to believe that anyone could enjoy the book)!
No worries.
BTW Cunning plan maybe a blackadder reference (TV comedy show v.good). The character Baldric will occationally say "I have a cunning plan" with the joke being it never is.
It's common enough that Brits will say they have a cunning plan in the same way Baldric says it.
Hey, speaking about that I signed up for their 3mo unlimited with your link. I almost forgot, but I made it!
It's kinda funny that the only plots EL James can (even kinda) write are about abusive men being abusive, and it's even funnier that she wrote two books without plot to prove she wasn't limited to writing about abusive men being abusive 😂 the traffickers and Alessia's scorned fiance are some of the only plot either of these books have but they don't even have 50 Shades' conflict because Maxim isn't a raging sadistic narcissist like Christian Grey so it's up to the abusive men side characters to make up the difference lmao
edit: I literally forgot this book existed within 8 months of watching this video so if that isn't proof it's a book about nothing then I don't know what is
Calling your fiance 'woman!' put a smile on my face. Thats the same kind of relationship i have with my wife, and, 15 years later, we still get asked if we just got married.
Loving your partner is critical, but liking them is just as important. Hang the traditional wisdom 'don't marry your friends'
I always say the best foundation to any relationship is friendship. My late fiance was my best friend and the laughs were plentiful
So glad this video is back up! Cant wait to watch it all over again like i do with al of Krimson's videos lol
Also, ill put my old comment here again:
Please bring the Queen of the Book Throne on more often! Shes awesome.
why was it taken down?
@@cropathfinder He had to re-edit the sponsorship section!
I was wondering why it felt like I'd seen this video before. So glad I'm not going senile before I'm 30!
Krimsons videos are my favorite especially for falling asleep his voice is so soothing 😌 i probably watched the first upload 5x already
@@christinac873same he’s so good for my sleep issues the only thing that gets me to sleep within 30mins
I love the Book Queen popping in to give us a little sex education. I was lucky enough to be taught this stuff in school but I know not everyone is, and considering how well known James' works are, that has the risk to be dangerous to potential readers. Additionally, very cute dog. 11/10.
The fact that your cat is named the same as mine (Ash) makes every bit where he appears quite hilarious. Also Ash (MY ash) jumped in front of my TV as I was writing this comment, which is right after I saw you tell Ash (YOUR ash) to stop messing with your tripod 3 times in a row. Great Ashes think alike I guess, these lovable little demons.
35:00 That kills me that James is not only unknowledgeable about how boners work but how effective contraception pills work. Even if you get on the pill, doctors still ask you to wait a month before having sex for it to be effective at keeping pregnancy at bay.
EDIT: YES, I KNEW IT WAS A MONTH, THANK YOU FUTURE BOOK THRONE QUEEN
I think it depends? My pills work after a week, according to my doctor
@@EannieMay Yeah, I saw many comments say some of their pills are effective like instantaneous and didn't need a condom which admittedly I didn't know was a thing! (great job medical field) But even if you didn't know there were pills that could do that, it's a bit irresponsible to write about contraceptive pills and not give a little more detail on which one is being taken.
@Mo_Nilla_Co Ooooh, I didn’t know about the ones that work instantly! I thought you had to take them when your period starts so they have a chance to block the next ovulation. Good to know if I ever decide to change my meds up :)
I mean it could work if Alessia's ignorance did result in her becoming pregnant, and the couple had to navigate through the repercussions of that. Of course, that would require a writer who thinks things through. 🙃
Reposting my comment: After all the bad books Krimson has put himself through, I'm glad to hear he's reading good ones like 'Legends and Lattes'. The next book coming out is a ?prequel? called 'Bookshops and Boneshards'. Hope he enjoys that one too
Ooo, necromancer?
Legends and lattes was quite boring to me. Writing was decent but there's really not much going on.
@@MikeyBrissonThat's fair. It is more of a slice of life kind of book. If it's not your kind of story, no point trying to force yourself through it. There's plenty of books in the library after all
@@MikeyBrisson that's fair, but that's actually why I liked it 😅 I have a toddler so reading something with a pretty chilled out pace was relaxing to me. It seems like that's what the author was going for, so at least he nailed the execution 😝
When Ms Krimson described the three-day pill regimen, we both said, “No,” at the same time, in exactly the same way.
And a Google search confirms that their Albanian marriage was completely official in the U.K.
Community post gang here to support Krim!!
To paraphrase a saying one of my closest friends likes to say it sounds like the experience of reading The Missus was Krimson discovering E.L. James's rock bottom had a sub-basement.
I think we're all stuck in the basement rn
My non-native English speaking self interpreted the term 'sub-basement' as 'submissive-basement' and was really confused for a second
The most terrifying thing about maxim is the potential of him sitting in the House of Lords
fr 😭😂
OH GOD I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT
What I appreciate most about this review is being told about Legends & Lattes. You're right, Krimson, it IS a great book.
James's biggest problem is that at her core, she is a fanfiction writer. And that's fine on its own, but fanfiction is not a novel and fanfiction writers are not novelists. You cannot write about your original characters that no one knows any about the way you write fanfiction - fanfiction can be meandering with no charcater building because you're obstensively attracting an audience who already cares about the characters and just wants to see said characters interacting. Novels require more and different skills that she's never practiced because she just...published her fanfic with the names replaced.
I think it’s better to say that James never transitioned her writing to suit a novel, rather than a fanfiction.
When she writes "You're holding the console upside down," I think her only experience with video games was a DS, where it could be reasonable to accidentally hold a console upside down, and assumed this was how all games worked
Krim and his fiancee are much more engaging than the main characters which like. We get 5 minutes tops in this video of them interacting but 2 books for Maxim and Alessia. What a nightmare of a book, thanks for the hard work! Lovely watch
The interactions between Krimson Rogue and Lady Rogue were so freaking sweet. I hope she comes back and it becomes a running bit! Someone's got to combat all this bad women's anatomy in these damn romance novels.
Dunno if you see this, Krimson..
But I picked up Legends and Lattes as audiobook after the first posting, and I absolutely loved it!!
It was so relaxing and comfortable to listen to.
So thank you
I'm glad you like it!
@@KrimsonRogue - on the topic of low-stakes fantasy, I personally recommend The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater. It’s about a girl entering a horse race to save her home from foreclosure and her family from drifting apart. With the twist that her competition rides on deadly, man-eating fey horses that come out of the sea every November. There’s also a pretty good n’ cute romance in there to serve as a palate cleanser after this latest dose of James Schlock!
Seriously though. The writing in this is superb and it does a great job making you _feel_ like you’re in the setting.
I know I made a comment already but I want to say something again, this time on the point of Alesia's trauma and how El James dealt with that(or more accurately how she didn't deal with that). Here's how I would have done it(disclaimer that I only write as a hobby, I am in no means a professional):
Obvious first step: In the first scene where Anatoli shows up again, have her react in a way that displays her trauma. This goes without saying but someone who's been trafficked and nearly assaulted would have a pretty significant reaction to seeing the perpetrator of that crime the literal day after it happened. How she reacts could go a few different ways, but to be in character with her characterization as a borderline doormat in the first book, I'd go with something of a "freeze" response. Maybe going silent, or at least quiet, not being able to tell him off, minimal movements, basically trying to create a sense of fear in her visual expression. In this situation someone else would likely have to come in and help her out of that situation, though I'd make it clear that someone else's word wouldn't be enough to stop Anatoli from causing issues(aka foreshadowing).
Second, focus more on her searching for the other girl that was trafficked. Not just in regards to her doing it, but also why. Obviously it's just the right thing to do, helping someone in that terrible situation when you're able to is a good thing, but there could be layers to this. Maybe she's using the search for this other girl as a way to distract from her own trauma, or she feels guilty that she was able to get out while others couldn't, or any other list of reasons. Maybe she focuses on this goal to an unhealthy degree, to the point where her own issues get worse due to how much time she's investing into 'fixing' the situation she'd been trapped in previously.
Third, adding more signs of her trauma. Given the lack of actual s*x scenes(Unsure of if CZcams censors comments)in this book, it would be hard to use those to show her trauma(which they would likely have to given what almost happened to her). So I came up with an alternative. If I'm remembering right(I believe it was brought up in this video as well), Alesia was stuffed in a trunk when she was kidnapped. It wouldn't be a stretch to have her trauma in some way associated with cars given the circumstances. Specifically things like the sound of the engine or the bouncing of the car whenever it hits a bump. Something like this could be used to show her working through her trauma. Cars are used a lot to get around, and it would be kind of hard to avoid ever using them. Maybe she gets some sound-proof headphones to deal with the engine's noises, and maybe she tries to make sure whoever is driving her places at any given time drives slowly enough that bumps aren't that big of an issue. Over time, using these methods of making car travel easier, she grows used to cars enough that those specific issues become easier to deal with. I would then, by the end, put her in a situation where she doesn't have those safety nets, and possibly even needs to driver herself somewhere in an emergency(I know she probably can't drive, she's never mentioned as having a license and considering the behavior of her parents I doubt they ever taught her). While it's still tough for her, she's worked through these issues enough that she's able to manage, likely because whatever this urgent matter is pushes her through. And that urgent matter is my last point.
Finally, a climax to this plot line. I mentioned earlier that I would have ended the first scene with Anatoli with a promise that he wasn't done. We already know that he's reckless enough to kidnap someone, why not have him do it again? Though, as a parallel to the first book, have him kidnap Maxim instead. How would this work? I have no clue. After all I'm not writing a full book here, I'm just throwing out ideas on how to fix this one ignored plot point of Alesia's trauma. In this scenario, the roles from the end of the first book are reversed. Alesia now needs to go out of her way into a dangerous situation to save Maxim. She'd be forced to face the man who caused her the intense trauma that, in this version of the story, she's been dealing with all book. She's obviously not chill about it, likely still displaying a lot of nerves and possibly flashing back to her own kidnapping, but she pushes through it to save the man she loves. Now, instead of freezing up like she did in the first scene(in this iteration of things), she not only stands up for herself but fully stands against Anatoli, tearing apart his claims about how her new life would be terrible and no one would respect her, and that even the worst people in her new life are better than he could ever be to her. It's a moment of power for her, likely catching Anatoli and maybe even Maxim and whoever she might have brought with her off guard, but in the full context of actually writing out a full plotline related to her growing as a character, it makes more sense and would, if done right, be incredibly cathartic.
If I made any mistakes in my references to canon events in the story, I apologize. I'm writing this before finishing this watch through of my review, so a lot of details are based on what I remember of the first book's review and my go through of this video before the reupload. As Krimson said this is a book about nothing and it's hard to remember details so if I got anything wrong, that's fine, it doesn't really matter. If I got anything about trauma as a subject wrong, then that's on me, most of what I mentioned is based on my own experiences with my mental health, as well as the experiences of those around me. I doubt it's perfect, but it's likely better than the nothing that is El James' take on the topic.
I wonder if ELJ lost a lot by moving away from fanfic (since her first successful book was Twilight fic) and the feedback from fic readers? Because fanfic often loves trauma and hurt-comfort, and 50 Shades does at least have characters dealing with trauma (badly) as it fuels Christian’s sadism, and Ana lies on the floor crying a time or two.
Into the Dark, Dark Wood is a great book that explores slow-paced minutae while building an incredible intrigue. Normally I hate slow paced books but every moment had a weight and helped build towards the ending, so much so that if you skipped a page you'd miss something important. I have read a lot of books that tried and failed to capture that.
Watched this before but didn't comment, so lemme just put one in for the algorithm:
Krim is so talented that he could hold my attention for almost 3 hours on a topic that is *literally nothing*. Amazing job, man.
I think "Cunning Plan" may be in reference to the Blackadder series where Baldric has a bit of a catchphrase "I have a cunning plan" which he says in the exact same tone every single time and I always thought that was funny
Props for the Caddicarus shoutout, that man is criminally funny and underrated. Krimson is cultured af.
Pets can sense human distress and at this point probably associate yours with recording these videos. I wonder if that's why they kept messing with the tripad, to neutrolise the situation. 💖
It's back 🔥 happily watching the whole thing again you deserve it
I watched the entire video but couldn't remember a thing about the book.
When it got taken down, I thought I had a REALLY extensive dream.
Now that it's back, it'll be like watching it new again, because I can't remember what happens!
About the coffee scene in 22:28
I want to note that even in a scene that says nothing about those involves James's protagonist still manages to stand there and do nothing while things happen around her. Terry Pratchett had a similar scene in the Aching books where his protagonist traveled and had all sorts of (mis)adventures before going home and scrubbing the floor. Her mother said something similar and wondered if the girl isn't too good to do that now but instead of fanciful thinking she went back to her normal routine of house chores and they all made her seem far more mature at 9 than the 20 year old twirling in her pretty dress while her mother made her coffee!
In addition to the Future Book Throne Queen's comments on birth control, you generally start the pills after the end of your monthly flow. The one's I take have a weeks worth of placebo pills to maintain the habit while you have your flow, but you start a new pack, for daily use, after you finish (Generally on a Sunday to be consistent.)
I’ve always been confused by this, because if I decided to fuck with my hormones like that, the minimum I’d want is the removal of my period. Like, it staggers me that y’all go on the pill and completely fuck up your entire body, but you *still* have to deal with periods?? Like, why, if it works then the uterus is not going to need that lining and it can quit throwing a fit and tearing down the wallpaper every month…
@@StarWarsomania I'm not sure about other people, but I'm on the pill for hormone issues that the pill fixes. Not on the pill, I will have periods for weeks or even months straight. Now it's on a schedule, but I do understand your concern. There are biological contriceptives that eliminate periods, but you would need to be sure to take pregnancy tests on the regular because nothing is 100% effective.
Hi, couple of things!
Like the original commenter, I also started using the pill to control my whacked out periods. Not only did it make the pain more manageable, after using it for a while I wouldn't even get my period on my off days. Every person is different, some have their period every month still and some have it every few months or never.
I have since switched to the implant, but I'm thinking of switching back to the pill because my cycles have gone back to being irregular and either infrequent or far too frequent. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm fucking with my body, since overall it has helped me quite a bit!
@@estelle5798
As someone who hopes to get on birth control soon, thank you this is very helpful
@@StarWarsomania your comment comes off not only ignorant, but quite judgemental. we are not "fucking with our hormones" nor "fucking up our bodies", i don't know what gives you the impression that this is what birth control pills do, but it's certainly not that. if anything, a lot of people use the pill to fix/stabilize erratic/irregular menstrual cycles, so, far from "fucking up" their bodies, they're actually helping their bodies function normally.
these pills are of course used as a contraceptive too, but don't let the name fool you, that's not the only thing they're used for. they can also be used to prevent having periods altogether if you don't use the placebo/sugar pills, which i did for many years because periods are awful and i have no interest in conceiving, therefore i have zero reason to menstruate tbh. i've moved onto a different form of hormone treatment to achieve the same effect, but the results are the same.
and even ignoring all of that, the people who choose to alter their hormones in any way are doing it for themselves, for their own diverse reasons. birth control might be used to prevent pregnancy, to control menstrual cycles, or to stop menstruating completely. birth control isn't even the only kind of hormone-related medical treatment. "hormone replacement therapy", aka HRT, is an important part of gender affirming care for many people, most especially trans people, though not exclusively so.
you don't get to call their choice to use different horomone treatments/therapies "choosing to fuck up their bodies". it's fine if you prefer to allow your body to naturally regulate your hormones, that's entirely your right, but don't go making comments like this as if other people are crazy for not doing things the way you have chosen to do. bodily autonomy is a human right, and it's not a good look to disparage others for changing their bodies in ways that you would not.
KrimsonRogue: "It feels like...Alessia is just going along with this because Maxim is the first guy to give her any positive attention because every guy in Albania is a piece of sh*t. The last time I met a woman with a questionable taste in men like this, I proposed to her." *gets hit by alicorn plushie*
Me: *laughing as Miss Future Rogue laughs* That was great. :)
1:30:45 the funny thing is, she isn't. There's rich, and then there's wealthy. Rich people shop at luxury department stores like Harvey Nichols. *Wealthy* people don't shop, they have a personal tailor and get everything hand made to perfectly fit them.
If she wanted a moment like that, she would have name-dropped an actual famous designer. Or, alternatively, it would have been the place that all the wealthiest women go to get hand-made clothes; which is typically going to be like Milan or Paris. It also could have been Savile Row if she wanted a more comedic scene to follow (Savile Row has the best *Men's* tailors, which Maxim would obviously go to for his own clothes, and he could be played off as comedically clueless by taking her there).
Here’s a little way to fix certain parts of tea scene between Alessia and her mother:
“Tea?” She offered sheepishly. There was a slight hesitation in her voice. A unexpected response from a woman so usually sure of herself.
“Yes, please.” Alessia managed. She knew what was coming, and yet, still, she had to ask. “What… what did you think about Maxim?”
Her mother took a moment to respond. Not a good sign.
“He seems… very nice.” She managed.
Oh. Her mother does not approve. ‘Nice’ doesn’t bode well. ‘Nice’ is what people say when they don’t want to insult someone, or when one believes the relationship has little to no future. She swallowed her disappointment.
“He did help me a lot.” She tried to make a case on Maxim’s behalf. She loves her mother, and she would have liked her to approve of the man she was to wed.
“I know, dear.” There was a finality to her voice. Punctuated by the spoon tapped against the china cup.
The running gear line could be fixed by changing it to something like "Thankfully the suitcase I always kept packed for last minute business trips included a spare set of running gear" and throw in a mention that he had time to grab it, or get someone else to bring it to him while waiting for the first available flight. Hell, maybe have one of the other characters bring the suitcase for him.
Ash being such a silly little guy Krim has to hold him and strum him like a guitar is so goddamn cute
“How can you be with someone who’ll take you out of the country?!” - man who trafficked her out of the country
As I think I said on the first upload; I can't decide if el James is grubbing for cash or terrified of irrelevance but I'm fairly sure it's both.
Just finished rewatching the dissection of The Mister and I’m ready for more garbage!
Tucker and Ash are always the best part!
So...do you still remember reading this?
I remember that I did read it, but please don't ask me for details, lol.
@@KrimsonRogueAre there even any details other than they get married?
Edit: or do they? -Lmao help I can't remember-
@@KrimsonRogue Not even the first word from the first chapter?! OAO
"So we go into the publishing house, tell them we got a book about nothing?"
"That's right!"
"They ask 'what is this book about', I say 'nothing'?"
"There you go!"
"... if you were anybody else, this would go horribly."
I guess the people who like this book like it because it's kind of a comfy story? A couple and their life after being married?
... At least that's what I would say, if it weren't for all these potential plot hooks. But with all those, it doesn't fit in that kind of story, so I don't really know how this is supposed to have major appeal.
I'm at 2:37:05 and I JUST realized the book is over and Krim's giving his conclusion. I've seen some shit endings before but never one that's so poor I didn't realize the story was over right away.
Having Krimson critique bs books in the background as I sleep is weirdly comforting
That's why I keep going back to the Empress Theresa series
I think when James said she "loved Albania," she might have been referring to her loving how the country _looked_ (i.e. the landscape) rather than anything about the country's people or their culture. Granted, I don't know how she put it in her own words, so that could be totally wrong, but it feels like the best reconciliation between her treatment of Albania and its people in her book versus her outspoken opinion about the country.
I read Legends and Lattes on his recommendation, it’s really pleasant, and truly an easy read which was very refreshing. It’s definitely simple
Discovering that Krimson both watches Caddicarus and also enjoyed Legends and Lattes was by far my favourite part of this video
To repeat my old comment
The cunning plan thing is a black adder reference
Holy carp. Seeing The Book of Knowledge brings back fond childhood memories. For some reason, my parents owned the full set and I would spend HOURS reading through them!😊
34:58 “Later, when her period started, she’d been able to slip upstairs and take her first pill.”
I don’t know exactly what she is taking, but my pills had to start the second my period ended, because they surpress the hormones that cause periods, and if you’re already on your period, they do nothing.
We need more Queen of the Book Throne! She was genuinely super interesting to listen to, I loved her input
Legends and Lattes was one of my favorite book of last year
Posting for the algorithm:
These books are a great motivator to finish any one of my books. I can't do worse than these
Once more for the algorithm! All hail the Queen of the Book Throne!
Just engagin’ with the content here, Barnes
The Missus? More like mis SUS
Glad to listen through this again lol
every day im thankful that someone is reading bad books to tell it, making tasks and drawing so much more fun
Hearing about the little scenes that still mean something made me feel good about my story. It's just a fanfic of two friends mosty just hanging around their apartment but I still always try to have the scene mean something.
This story would’ve been helped with a second male lead. Like a guy that Alesia can compare to Maxim especially with Alesia hear how maxim slept with his brother’s wife(?). It could also make maxim think about how he’s not the best.
Thirty minutes into the video, and I’m loving how Ash is trying to “save” Krimson from having to finish reviewing the book! Like he knows Krimson isn’t having a fun time and he’s not feeling it Mr. Krabs! 😂❤
commenting for the algorithm! No idea why you wee forced to reupload but I will watch it again
And. Here. We. Go. Again! *Stitch's maniacal laughter*
Hi Krimson! Thanks so much for the review! Absolutely love your content, miss the "Book was better" series. By the way, I VERY often binge rewatch your "Krim's Masochistic Tango" playlist, thanks for adding this vid to it so fast, but you missed November 9 review!
If anyone has to read actually good fictional family drama comparing albanian and 'western' european attitudes on language, life, gender etc. from the inside of that experience, please have a look at kosovan finnish author Pajtim Statovci's novels! They're absolutely captivating ❤
1:22:06 'Cunning Plan' is almost certainly capitalized because it's a reference to the British comedy show Blackadder, in which Cunning Plans feature widely to the point where the phrase "I have a cunning plan" is in I belive the majority of episodes, if not every one. As (you can probably guess) a Blackadder fan, this makes me very sad.
Really glad this was reuploaded, I was SO sad when I couldn't find it 😅
I listen to your reviews as I write. Help me remember that I’m doing okay. And it’s a hilarious time when I look up during breaks.
I know I'm very late to this but the Cunning Plan is likely a reference to the Blackadder TV show, whenever something bad is happening, the idiot character, Baldric, always says "I have a cunning plan" which the titular character Edmund Blackadder usually goes along with, it goes wrong somehow, hilarity ensues.
It feels almost sacrilegious to have Blackadder referenced in this book. Rowan Atkinson, Ben Elton, and Richard Curtis are actually good writers.
Its actually insane how youtube will show me content creators i want to see one week and the next completely shadow ban them. Sorry this upload didn’t please the algorithm god but i did seek you out. Later is better than never
I love your refusal to learn Aubergine's name.
Love your vid as always!
I could be wrong but I think Georgette Heyer (and other period romance authors) have used the whole 'reformed rake' thing well before Bridgerton was written - I'm pretty sure it's a common trope in that genre?
I was thinking the same. And since Heyer pretty much created a boatload of the Regency romance tropes, I would give precedence to her over Quinn.
I think it’s THE trope in the genre 😂 (not complaining, I love Regency historicals). The line Krimson refers to may be an actual repetition of a specific Bridgerton line, hence the comment. I read it more of her recognizing a word rather than the sentence, and making her connection that way. But also, she disposed of used condoms when she started. Why is she surprised?
Yep. I have read the same sentiment (if not the same exact sentence) in so many other Historical novels!
I 100% believe that rake line was straight up plagiarism. The entire 50 shades trilogy was twilight plagiarism and now that Bridgerton is in she has to rip that off too.
edit: also the reason Alessia is playing Clair de Lune in because thats what Edward was listening to and Bella comments on in Twilight and she was too lazy to find another piano piece since her whole life is centered around ripping off Stephanie Meyer.
Rewatching this and commenting to help the re-upload!
The Future Book Throne Queen had to take over otherwise Krimson’s palpable rage would obliterate the throne she worked so hard on to make comfy.
I found the story line of Ash trying to get attention and finally getting attention so much more interesting haha. Thank God you're giving a review of a book without a story a... Story 😂
This is my second time watching the video. I still can’t believe so many words were written down yet NOTHING happened. This might be proof that *nothing* actually exists.
My jaw dropped when you said epilogue💀💀💀 I couldn't believe that was it lol
The reason why I love watching your videos is that during the review you also give some writing advices, which as a beginner writer, it's super useful
Oh and knowing books like these can get published helps with the self-esteem.
Ash messing with the tripod was easily the most gripping part of this.
I believe the Cunning Plan part is a reference to the British sitcom Blackadder. One of the characters, Baldrick, is an idiot who always claims to have a "Cunning Plan" to solve a situation!
So excited for the Forth Wing review! 💣
"Am I the asshole here? No, it's Alessia that doesn't understand my culture."
-Mister Douchebag, The Missus