The Brain Expert: How To Raise Mentally Resilient Children (According To Science) | Dr. Daniel Amen

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  • čas přidán 26. 04. 2024
  • Today, let's welcome back renowned brain expert and child psychologist, Dr. Daniel Amen!
    We discuss mindful parenting, ways you can set goals with your children, and how to nurture their ability to think independently. Dr. Amen will help you better understand the hacks of raising well-rounded, resilient, and loving individuals in today's fast-paced world.
    In this interview, we discuss:
    00:00 Intro
    00:46 How Do You Set Goals For Your Kids?
    04:34 How Do Children Become Free Thinkers?
    10:19 Allow Your Child to Get Uncomfortable
    13:01 The 20-Minute Practice to Bond with Your Child
    17:46 What Does No Boundaries Lead To?
    21:26 Why Do Children Shut Down?
    24:54 How Do You Repair a Broken Bond?
    28:00 Don’t Tell Your Child They Are Smart
    31:04 How Can Your Child Solve a Problem?
    33:07 You Are Making Your Kids Miserable
    35:16 Attachments That Become Broken
    37:37 I Don’t Understand My Child
    41:54 What is a Loving Discipline?
    44:51 My Child is Addicted to Social Media
    46:25 What Does Social Do to the Brain?
    48:35 Effects of Divorce on Kids
    51:01 Teach Your Child to Self-Soothe
    53:39 How to Love Your Child Right
    Episode Resources:
    www.tiktok.com/ @docamen
    / doc_amen
    / docamen
    / drdanielamen
    / drdanielamen
    www.amazon.com/stores/Daniel-...
    danielamenmd.com/
    www.amenuniversity.com/
    www.npr.org/sections/health-s...

Komentáře • 615

  • @JayShettyPodcast.
    @JayShettyPodcast.  Před měsícem +66

    What is something you learned from Dr. Amen?
    I’d like to invite you to join this community and subscribe to the channel. By hitting the 'Subscribe' button, you're not just becoming a subscriber - you're choosing to make a positive difference in your life.

    • @JF-hz9ig
      @JF-hz9ig Před měsícem +4

      Will you have Dr Amen on to discuss PANS and PANDAS?

    • @jonathan5809l
      @jonathan5809l Před měsícem

      Proposal for next guest on the show: And Blomberg, founder of language learning app THINKIN.
      I was at his talk at SXSW and it was an absolute blast listening to his story. Although they are a quite young startup, here’s why I believe he’s a great fit for the show:
      - Alongside Speak and Elsa.Speak, THINKIN is leading the current disruption in the $40bn online language learning market.
      - While Speak is backed by OpenAI, THINKIN just got acquired by Netflix.
      - THINKIN makes a pretty bold move by choosing to not be on mobile.
      - Their app is popular among Hollywood stars including Selena Gomez, and also used by German Bundesliga football teams to help their international players learn the language.
      - They were recently mentioned on The Tim Ferriss Show.
      - They went through two startup accelerators. And Blomberg talked really spicy about those at SXSW.

    • @jonathan5809l
      @jonathan5809l Před měsícem

      Idea for next guest: And Blomberg from THINKIN. He gave a great talk at SXSW and they just got acquired by Netflix.

    • @alchapopapo
      @alchapopapo Před měsícem +5

      I'd love to hear your take on all the details coming out about your past... and the fact that many things in your story don't line up as you have told them over the years. Are you going to address that?? I know you are aware of the article... but will you address the specific things they say you've lied about?

    • @studentsimplelife
      @studentsimplelife Před 29 dny

      It would be great if you could do a podcast with Ronaldo

  • @steceymorgan814
    @steceymorgan814 Před 4 dny +161

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @Jennifer-bw7ku
      @Jennifer-bw7ku Před 4 dny

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU Před 4 dny

      Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 Před 4 dny

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @Jennifer-bw7ku
      @Jennifer-bw7ku Před 4 dny

      Is he on instagram?

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU Před 4 dny

      Yes he is. dr.sporessss

  • @sophiag2348
    @sophiag2348 Před 29 dny +315

    I love how Dr Amen said 20mins of quality time doing something the child loves...that's like finding the child's love language and using that time to show them they are loved. My dad did this so well and I am eternally grateful.

    • @JayShettyPodcast.
      @JayShettyPodcast.  Před 29 dny +2

      ❤❤❤

    • @mindyhanson3273
      @mindyhanson3273 Před 28 dny +11

      I was only able to see my father every other weekend since being four years old and my dad spent the time that he had with us all on us, talking playing, walking, hiking biking whatever we could do together we did it together and we had the best relationship a daughter could ever ask for, and I learned so much from him, and my own parenting of my three children and I’m forever grateful for him for doing that❤️❤️

    • @sassysince90
      @sassysince90 Před 23 dny +2

      I have been following him for awhile and this has helped me so much as parent! When kids feel respected they will give it back much more often. ❤️

    • @sweetbeautyblu9921
      @sweetbeautyblu9921 Před 23 dny +5

      I guess I need to learn to play video games. 😁

    • @Hi-vw7fg
      @Hi-vw7fg Před 6 dny

      @@sweetbeautyblu9921 Same here…😅

  • @xochiltrodriguez428
    @xochiltrodriguez428 Před 26 dny +178

    I hang out with my gson who is 10 and has autism. I'm never on my phone. We run around, watch tv, play video games and go on hikes. He'll walk with me and just hug me. He is constantly asking me questions about life. It is the most amazing time I have with him.

    • @abigailpierce4079
      @abigailpierce4079 Před 26 dny +3

      I love that 😍 you're a good Gmom...

    • @xochiltrodriguez428
      @xochiltrodriguez428 Před 26 dny +4

      @@abigailpierce4079 thank you. I can't even clean when he's at my house and watching tv. He'll call me and say, Shishi, look. Lol. I wish parents would spend quality time with their kids. I think I would see less issues at the psych hospital I workbat.

    • @ratnakwok3972
      @ratnakwok3972 Před 25 dny +1

      You are wonderful

    • @saida4292
      @saida4292 Před 25 dny +1

      You make my heart smile ❤😊 thank you for being his best friend and parent

    • @SideQuestEmpress
      @SideQuestEmpress Před 24 dny

      You are such a bright light in his life. So precious ❤

  • @gunmol61
    @gunmol61 Před 23 dny +38

    My God… I loved two specific suggestions that I never knew how to put into words for my adult children who are now parents so they could help instill qualities they have but I didn’t know how my husband and I cultivated those traits. 1. Self esteem has closest correlation to hard work ethic ( our toddlers began chores at 2.5, had to have paying jobs at 14 on weekend, had to work full time summer jobs in high school)
    2. Don’t help with home work, relay to child the potential consequences of them not doing it then allow them to experience them good or bad.
    3. Also love love love the difference between saying to a child that’s doing a task like alphabet flash cards “ you’re so smart!” And instead say “ what a hard worker you are” so they inculcate hard work habits that pull them through tasks they’re not good at later on. Pure Gold

  • @lalo5648
    @lalo5648 Před měsícem +134

    Going on hikes and camping trips really helps bond with the kiddos, no phone service , with a new adventure for all. 🔥 show

  • @fatimaramirez9123
    @fatimaramirez9123 Před 26 dny +62

    I will practice the 20 minute more often with my daughter she's 3 and I notice she spends more time playing with her dad than with me and its always because he takes the time to play what she likes and even if I feel like I have a lot on my plate I will try to find those 20 minutes to play with her.

    • @piachristoffersen3740
      @piachristoffersen3740 Před 23 dny +3

      That is great! Try to do that every day, Even if it is before bedtime! It is nessesary to build that bond, as she grows… When you will look back, nothing will be more important than your relationship with your child/children ❤️ good luck! It will bring you both so much happiness, love and joy!

    • @euphrates74
      @euphrates74 Před 18 dny +2

      I'm like you. I'll try too.

  • @mindyhanson3273
    @mindyhanson3273 Před 28 dny +41

    My dad would take us on long car rides on the weekend just to go for a long ride and be in the same space together and I understand now why he did it. He would play games with us like asking us questions in regards to math he’d give us a scenario of kids how many kids getting on the bus at one stop and then the other and then we have to solve the problem and my dad was always, loving, but firm and just always there for us ready to listen when we needed him and those are some of my biggest memories as a child growing up just being in the car together

    • @piachristoffersen3740
      @piachristoffersen3740 Před 23 dny +2

      That is just beautiful! I do this with my son, sometimes just being in the car together, bonding, laughing, snacking, stopping somewhere beautiful 😊, doing the 20 question quiz together etc… such simple things, but so meaningful for our connection! Thank you ❤️

  • @Crob3621
    @Crob3621 Před měsícem +154

    This is literally GOLD for parents! Thank you both

  • @avaleen
    @avaleen Před 17 dny +11

    Oh this conversation is magical. This is required listening for all parents today. I’m sharing with every young parent in my life. 20 minutes a day with your child, uninterrupted, no cellphone, no distractions where you give no directions, no commands and ask no questions. This is golden. I needed this reminder Jay Shetty. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • @perspectiveiseverything1694

    Omg, I've been saying this for at least 34 years! "Don't send children to be raised by strangers. Yes, attachment. But also..The children FAR outnumber the adults, the ignorant & undeveloped end up influencing & raising one another. The blind leading the blind."
    This is why after being in child dev't & care & experiencing "parents", I stayed at home & educated my kids myself.

  • @krischeleceaser87
    @krischeleceaser87 Před 26 dny +23

    Here I am thinking I’m completely f*ing this up (parenting) just to hear I’m actually doing it right 🤯 we need to work on bonding more as a family unit.

  • @KristenGuyDesign
    @KristenGuyDesign Před 25 dny +12

    In our house we (mom and dad) tell our two children that they are part of our team and we want to help everyone on our team to do well and make better choices so we will have a better life together. We thank them and say I love you many times a day. We ask them for age appropriate help and give some positive feedback. We treat them the way we wished we had been treated when we were growing and failing. We (mom and dad) both of us experienced ridicule when we made mistakes even over minor things, and we both recall being ignored or berated by peers, parents, teachers, and bosses. We learned early on what kind of people and parents we never wanted to become. Fast forward to our late 30s and early 40s we are parents to two young humans whose lives, their minds and thoughts and emotional development and capacity for empathy we cherish and care for and will protect at all costs.

  • @BernitaFord
    @BernitaFord Před 27 dny +58

    Jay Shetty is the GOAT interviewer! He asks questions that the audience wants an answer to and didn't even know we wanted. (And he likely already knows the answer to most)

  • @staceyonekawa5283
    @staceyonekawa5283 Před 16 dny +4

    This interview is pure gold! Imagine if all parents were given this knowledge and the tools to be great parents. How much better our communities would be, how much generational trauma would be avoided. Crime rates would plummet.

  • @luniz-vy4iq
    @luniz-vy4iq Před měsícem +145

    Both of my parents exhibit traits of sociopathic narcissism, making them deeply abusive individuals who seek to control every aspect of my life. After much reflection and self-preservation, I have made the decision to sever ties with them. I no longer engage in communication with them and have chosen to distance myself entirely. It's a necessary step for my well-being and personal growth. Thanx Jay and thank you Dr.Daniel.

    • @SamuelStJuste-jl1cc
      @SamuelStJuste-jl1cc Před měsícem +8

      I know thats not easy bc I had to do the same. Good for you @luniz-vy4iq I hope your journey turns out amazing as you build your life for yourself

    • @truthbetold2146
      @truthbetold2146 Před 29 dny +22

      Sad…. I see this trend more and more…. Sometimes you do have to distance yourself but ideally come around again stronger and wiser to rebuild the relationship. Our parents did their best and loved us in the best way they could…. If they meant well I would honor that… somehow

    • @SamuelStJuste-jl1cc
      @SamuelStJuste-jl1cc Před 29 dny

      Good game plan, I agree. @@truthbetold2146

    • @grateful7839
      @grateful7839 Před 29 dny +15

      Set boundaries but don’t write them off. Goes both ways.

    • @gzhen123
      @gzhen123 Před 28 dny +21

      Why would you sever ties with them? If you're mature now you should be the one helping them understand how things that they've done hurt you and try to rebuild your relationship with them. They raised you, you have no idea how hard it is for parents to raise their kids. Don't be fooled by modern ideology that teach you how to be selfish. Unless your parents are hurting you physically or mentally there is no reason for you to turn your back to them. Without them, there would be no you

  • @cameronforeman1043
    @cameronforeman1043 Před 26 dny +31

    I just stumbled across this video somehow and I had no idea how wrong I’ve been when it comes to parenting. It’s like this doctor was talking directly too me. I’m going to have to watch this multiple more times until I grasp everything he is saying. Thank you for this video.

    • @angiem2375
      @angiem2375 Před 25 dny +9

      It's beautiful that you are trying to be a BETTER parent
      That says a lot

    • @snow5962
      @snow5962 Před 25 dny +4

      This is beautiful. I am in a similar boat. I have a 22 month old and I haven't been able to decide on what type of a parent I want to be. Other than that, I know I hope they get my strong sense of self and intuition, and I hope I am the parent they will come to and discuss everything with. I want to be that parent that they actually will go to for advice before making major decisions.

    • @sandryconner5408
      @sandryconner5408 Před 25 dny

      I feel the same way.

    • @denisenorman4032
      @denisenorman4032 Před 13 dny

      Me too.

  • @awfully.average
    @awfully.average Před 26 dny +14

    i think im a great dad at least in my heart and the willingness to be with my children and play with them and teaching them,
    what i sorely lack is this kind of knowledge

  • @angiec3669
    @angiec3669 Před 25 dny +12

    Legit running to get this book and I dont even have children. Learned so much from this podcast!

  • @Levelupandheal
    @Levelupandheal Před měsícem +25

    My son is about to turn 3 and he's my entire world. I would do absolutely anything to keep him safe and protect him. With that being said, I agree 100% with everything Dr. Amen is saying. We have to think about the longevity of our parenting decisions. Allowing your child to forget his hw over and over again by bringing it to him will save him in the moment, but what damage is that doing to him long term? He learns no lessons when you bring it. He becomes that much wiser and stronger when you allow him to suffer the consequences of the mistake.

    • @alexandriasimental4096
      @alexandriasimental4096 Před 26 dny +1

      Keep devices away as long as possible. And don’t let anyone but you have a say so . I let my kids father get my son a cell even tho I said no, I let my parents buy him video games even tho I said no , and it messed him up . Struggled in school and creeps and explicit content being sent to him . Thankfully I caught it in time and realized my wrong in the way this played out also . But hearing this podcast reassured me that setting that boundary and explaining to his dad and my parents that it was in his best interest not to have any tech till he was 18 or out my house , only now they listen after seeing the negative side effects. Don’t let that happen

    • @Levelupandheal
      @Levelupandheal Před 24 dny

      @@alexandriasimental4096 I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way with that. Luckily, my husband and I both are very firm with the no tech rule. It was discussed before our son was born. If family try to offer him a video to watch on their cell phone, I kindly move it away and let them know he doesn’t need it. It sometimes creates awkward tension, but that’s nothing compared to the long term damage they can cause.

  • @mm7846
    @mm7846 Před měsícem +24

    As an adult born in the 80s, people being in their phones at dinner reminds me of eating with a TV on in my childhood. When we had one TV in the living room we talked while we ate in the dining room. Then we got a TV in the dining room and didn’t talk. But my parents didn’t like each other sometimes although they had amongst the best relationship of the people we knew. Then it was tv trays in the living room and stopped using the dining room except holidays. Video games, TV, and phones are a symptom of people avoiding something else I think 😅

  • @lmyunek11
    @lmyunek11 Před 25 dny +11

    I found this video on my suggestions to watch this morning, after just having an awful morning with my 2 year old. After texting my husband when I got to work, I literally said, we need to figure out something different to do with J. Kicking and screaming and just being mean. I know that what she is doing is because she can't communicate how she is feeling. She's a great talker, but can't always find the words. I'm always in a rush and trying to get everyone ready for work and school. This video just calmed my heart and eased my guilty conscience of being upset and angry when she wasn't cooperating or listening. I ordered the book before the end. Gosh knows I need help with my 5 step kids too. ❤ Thank you!!

    • @MommaBirdd
      @MommaBirdd Před 13 dny +3

      Hugs for you sweet mama! I’m pregnant with number 5 and they’re all my own. So hard! But I can’t imagine working while raising and loving 5 kids that aren’t my own. What a cross and blessing you have! You are amazing for caring so much about your kiddos as well as your step children!

    • @lmyunek11
      @lmyunek11 Před 12 dny

      @@MommaBirdd Thank you so much 🥰

    • @aninsidestory
      @aninsidestory Před dnem +1

      Glad you found this. There is so much support now for parents I trust you’ll find the way.

  • @rayp7135
    @rayp7135 Před 24 dny +23

    You know what helps a child’s self esteem most? An emphasis on education, morals, family, and faith.

  • @aminazahraa
    @aminazahraa Před 25 dny +19

    What works for my family and parenting doesn’t necessarily mean that will work for others and vice versa. Please just be the parent your child needs. Love them, be there for them and build bond. Don’t get too attached to your child because kids are gift from God. We don’t own them, they’re gift that can be taken anytime.

    • @nurugizani3075
      @nurugizani3075 Před 11 dny +1

      Like I got only one daughter. When she got married I experienced empty nest sickness for about a month. It was so difficult. I was sick . Couldn't eat sleep do anything yet there was nothing wrong with me when I saw a doctor 😅.

    • @magdaladmarttino9552
      @magdaladmarttino9552 Před 5 dny

      @nuriagizani3075 Hos bless you . And fill the emptyness with his presence

  • @lob1248
    @lob1248 Před měsícem +15

    Just bought the book. As a parent, we need all the help we can get to raise kids with these new challenges of today’s society ❤

  • @nathanleung5592
    @nathanleung5592 Před měsícem +21

    Who is thankful for seeing Dr Daniel Amen back on the podcast this 2024!? Another greatness parental conversation l have heard especially when my own are out of town for myself to do better work in this week! Keep the consistency going Jay, since so much of your audience is resnosating to your work

  • @Bigcountry214
    @Bigcountry214 Před 25 dny +3

    I like this guy. It took a second to get into it but he grew on me.
    “20 min undivided attention” beautiful

  • @user-qn7ub2ib6g
    @user-qn7ub2ib6g Před měsícem +13

    This is a timely indeed topic. I am a Sri Lankan PhD scholar. Sometimes I feel very bad about me and about my child. I have this guilt cycle. What I have learnt in my journey is this. For us to become more balanced and more a better parent is not an individual task. It has a wholistic approach. Partners, care givers, work environment stress, economic stabilty so on etc all have to come in good combination. Sometimes we may know what is actually going on, we know the methods too. But we fail in practicing them sometimes

  • @nikifun301
    @nikifun301 Před 25 dny

    THANK YOU for this focused talk with THE Dr Amen!

  • @claudiakraft1518
    @claudiakraft1518 Před 11 dny +1

    Very good questions, Jay. I love that you asked what happens if you question the child while you spend quality time with him. I have a new definition of what quality time means now. Thank you for what you do.

  • @Bobobaggins93747
    @Bobobaggins93747 Před 25 dny +5

    My parents were amazing ❤ When I was a torrential teenager, one parent would take me for a long drive. We'd sit there, maybe make small talk, but eventually I would open up and talk about what was bothering me or on my mind, and it was my parents' way of reaching me & supporting me during a difficult phase in life. It helped in so many ways, and now I really strive to provide the same stability and nurturing for my two kiddos ❤🥹

  • @eval.jambrek7955
    @eval.jambrek7955 Před 28 dny

    Such powerful messages from dr Amen, especially about parents who talk to much because their own anxiety & how important it is to just stop and listen to children. Thank yo both!

  • @anthanth8713
    @anthanth8713 Před 25 dny +4

    I have twin girls and from a very young age I used to give them a choice after explaining to them about the pros and cons of their options and allowed them to choose. They were always responsible for their own choices good or bad and they always chose the right ones almost every time.

  • @nakittekastoor237
    @nakittekastoor237 Před 26 dny

    Thank you so much.
    So much learned through this podcast.

  • @radazolo208
    @radazolo208 Před 29 dny +2

    Sense of agency builds indeed a true and competent character. Connection & presence.

  • @jithenin
    @jithenin Před měsícem

    Thank you “ Jay “ for this PODCAST with “ Dr Daniel Amen “ ❤😊🙏

  • @dinamangarella3703
    @dinamangarella3703 Před měsícem +11

    Love Dr. Amen! Great advice. And I agree, being present with your children is of utmost importance! And having them learn from their own mistakes (with support) is helpful for them in the long run.

  • @IslandofGirl
    @IslandofGirl Před 27 dny +5

    I considered explaining this to my dad but stopped my self. Not sure if it’s a good or negative thing but ultimately I know I need to correct it from my part as a mother. This video was very revelatory and I hope to honor my self and work on my ego and allow the management of my child in a healthy way. That self attack was just wow. I can’t control the processing of my father and I have realize that it’s not a reflection of my self nor my responsibility but what is, is being to be present and balance my ego for my self and break the cycle. I need this book please.

  • @margaretsmith1445
    @margaretsmith1445 Před měsícem

    Thank you 🙏🏻 absolutely brilliant! ❤

  • @meenakothari7841
    @meenakothari7841 Před měsícem

    Thankyou Dr. AMEN and JAY for doing meaningful work . Highly appreciate the efforts of both of You to help raise the kids in a good loving and supportive environment yet giving them the freedom to learn from mistakes . Am implementing them with my sons this very moment .Thankyou for the guidance dr Amen.

  • @gracejasinthpriyadarsini2489

    Always my favourite speaker Jay genius l love his speech very much.

  • @whitneymoore9814
    @whitneymoore9814 Před 20 dny

    Thank You for sharing this conversation!!!! My ears are very grateful. ❤

  • @pucci0725
    @pucci0725 Před měsícem +4

    Thank you so much for bringing this wonderful conversation to your podcast. Us, parents need all the help we can get!!

  • @Bhauer2011
    @Bhauer2011 Před 28 dny +42

    My parents and others told me how smart I was my whole life and I continue to tell myself that no matter what. I disagree saying that is wrong. Maybe say youre working so hard as well. My subconscious has programmed myself to constantly say im smart and it encourages the hell out of me to learn and grow. Maybe its just my definition of smart.

    • @annat6249
      @annat6249 Před 27 dny +13

      I have meet some people who need that constant praises to keep emotional balance because their parents say that to them all the time. Maybe your situation is different but based on my experience empty praises make people emotional dependents and lazy thinker. I have a 5 year old boy, I do not say empty “you are smart”. I rather say encouraging words like “You did it. See it was not that hard”. I say “It is okay to make mistake. It is part of learning” because he is a perfectionist.
      My dad said to me once, “Math is so easy”. All my college years, I never study math. I didn’t even do homework. I only come in for exam. My friend hate me because I get A with little effort. A parent’s words can be very life changing to a child so I am choosing my words carefully to my son. I don’t need him to feel smart. I need him to achieve his highest potential and mentally strong.

    • @monicatorres4686
      @monicatorres4686 Před 27 dny +2

      Ty for sharing this .. perhaps it’s not that bad .. I’m always telling my kids that their smart / intelligent..

    • @monicatorres4686
      @monicatorres4686 Před 27 dny +2

      I was a few minutes in and had to stop the video to get the book!! Got it!!!!

    • @monicatorres4686
      @monicatorres4686 Před 27 dny +5

      Perhaps we can say, “you work smart” bc I don’t want them to be stuck on working “hard” it’s good to work hard but there is also other ways like working creatively and smart as well..

    • @BlueLuna5
      @BlueLuna5 Před 27 dny +3

      I agree. I was told the opposite. "You need to work harder for everything. You're average." When I was an adult I found an IQ test from kindergarten. I was 2 points away from gifted. Never had any schooling before kindergarten and grew up poor with a single mom. Still had such a high IQ that they labeled me as "adhd" bc they wanted to hold me back.
      I always tell my son how smart he is, and he makes straight A's and thinks everything is easy to learn. He's at the top of his class.

  • @momwalker2706
    @momwalker2706 Před 27 dny

    Dr is speaking to my soul
    Really needed this thank you so much 🙏🙌❤️❤️❤️

  • @BreeFitness.
    @BreeFitness. Před měsícem

    Thank you so much Jay🎉

  • @TeacherMom80
    @TeacherMom80 Před 28 dny +1

    Thank you for this! I am so thankful & eager to learn from this conversation!

  • @mylorenzarcila901
    @mylorenzarcila901 Před 28 dny +1

    I was hesitant to listen to this episode and to my surprise there is so much useful information. My kids are young adults and I find myself trying to deepen our relationship. I agree with Jay when he expands on the concept of win or learn. Am working on softening my voice and creative listening instead of critical listening.

  • @helenrachel1520
    @helenrachel1520 Před měsícem +12

    If I had one wish in life it would be able to visit dr Amens clinic for my brain 😮

  • @nicoleadiaz1
    @nicoleadiaz1 Před 27 dny +1

    I call it “special time” as well. It’s so amazing! It can be getting a bagel together, walking the dog. It can big or small.

  • @sanag1050
    @sanag1050 Před 28 dny

    Jays questions were everything I wanted to ask. Amazing conversation 👏👏

  • @mikaelabolinger9796
    @mikaelabolinger9796 Před 24 dny +1

    Thank you for this podcast! It always hits. I needed to hear this ❤

  • @Issamissastar86
    @Issamissastar86 Před 24 dny

    Wow I am absolutely blown away by this video. Thank you so much for all these tips. Helpful for self and in parenting. ❤

  • @celli6501
    @celli6501 Před měsícem +1

    I love this topic because I wasn't taught this growing up so I'm teaching myself to listen and ask better questions and be able to prepare for my future when the time comes. Great interview 👍

  • @iamDonareen
    @iamDonareen Před měsícem +1

    I really enjoyed this video. Eye opening! Thank you for this.

  • @marquettesharie
    @marquettesharie Před měsícem +39

    Whew this is so good! People really have no boundaries with their children and then I have to have the conversations with my child because these awful untamed kids running around making other kids life miserable.

    • @user-kd3vg4xu5z
      @user-kd3vg4xu5z Před 29 dny +3

      20:20 this part was sketch. This guy is too high control. His kids are adults. Let them live their life and go to college wherever they want!

    • @lionstrength1966
      @lionstrength1966 Před 29 dny

      Exactly like teaching your kids not to bully and be kind to 1 another no matter what kind of shoes and clothes they have on or the color of their skin.

  • @justinamontgomery2618
    @justinamontgomery2618 Před měsícem

    Love Dr. Amen....book sounds great.....thank you for the great show.

  • @kellibarnes2371
    @kellibarnes2371 Před měsícem +1

    This was so good, I had to listen twice & share it! Thank you, Dr. Amen and Jay.❤

  • @katherineagudelo117
    @katherineagudelo117 Před 27 dny

    I appreciate this video so much. Thank you!

  • @mentoredtoexcellence6961

    This was such a great listen!! As a mom of boys; I am now learning more about childhood development and finding new ways to connect with my little humans. Thank you!!

  • @mahletsamuel7896
    @mahletsamuel7896 Před 27 dny +1

    This is an Incredible interview. Thank you ❤😊🙏🏽

  • @halehomeschool9964
    @halehomeschool9964 Před měsícem +15

    Thank you for this Dr. Amen. I felt physically sick having to withdraw my help to my college student. I vented to my friends but to my son he sees me as the stone cold Marine. It’s hard as a single parent to balance the masculine and feminine line. I’m holding firm with him but in private it sucks.

    • @ritaannbarnett
      @ritaannbarnett Před měsícem +2

      Keep doing what you know is right Mom! ❤

    • @adb2490
      @adb2490 Před měsícem +1

      I'm going through a very similar situation. My children are teens, and I'm a single father. It's incredibly hard trying to find the right amount of balance.

    • @peekaxu4352
      @peekaxu4352 Před měsícem

      ​@@adb2490I have realized that those 20 mins daily are magical for my kiddos...sometimes they want more time and i cant always give it to them, so i cherish the time that we do have...

    • @halehomeschool9964
      @halehomeschool9964 Před měsícem

      @@adb2490 vent to friends or here, social media apps. It’s getting easier as days go by.

  • @SAJamar
    @SAJamar Před 29 dny

    Wow, these few days have been an emotional baggage and to come across this is a GEM 💎. Thank you

  • @_space.pony_
    @_space.pony_ Před měsícem +2

    I loved Jays book. Thank you for focusing on kids wellbeing.

  • @mihaelafluieras6469
    @mihaelafluieras6469 Před 29 dny

    Thank you so much. It is amazing. ❤

  • @chriestinenpape
    @chriestinenpape Před měsícem

    One of my favorite topics ❤ Thank you to you both!

  • @MaryFarwell-tu5jx
    @MaryFarwell-tu5jx Před 25 dny

    This was really fulfilling to watch, thank you!

  • @toya7645
    @toya7645 Před měsícem

    Such a valuable and great interview and Jay, you asked some really great questions.

  • @danielleledger7595
    @danielleledger7595 Před 25 dny

    Amazing interview, Jay! So informative and helpful ❤

  • @iamdjsyko
    @iamdjsyko Před 4 dny

    The 'Always tell the truth' rule can be incredibly damaging in later life, in a society where doing so will make them really unpopular, and even potentially endanger them in certain situations. One possible blind spot but I loved this conversation, thank you.

  • @Katice634
    @Katice634 Před měsícem +6

    Great episode. I was the middle child. The responsible one. I didn’t matter so I had to do everything myself. My siblings were always catered to. I wasn’t. It made me stronger.

    • @abxperformance
      @abxperformance Před měsícem +3

      Great point. How did this impact you negatively if you mind sharing?

    • @jayrodriguez4119
      @jayrodriguez4119 Před 28 dny

      Did it make you bitter too?

  • @jespuvansingh2561
    @jespuvansingh2561 Před 25 dny

    Well done there Jay! The questions are fantastic! I think very parent gotta listen to this.

  • @valbonaivezaj140
    @valbonaivezaj140 Před 23 dny

    This is an amazing episode! Great questions Jay 🎉 and awesome doctor

  • @LubaHorbanova
    @LubaHorbanova Před 28 dny

    Thank you so múch for this episode❤

  • @nareshkumar750
    @nareshkumar750 Před měsícem +1

    This is the best episode soo far

  • @manuelasaosimao2806
    @manuelasaosimao2806 Před 28 dny

    Thank you for this insightful conversation.🙏 I don't have children but I have (me and my sister) many confidence and self suficiency/independence problems since we became adults and the more we now the causes and reflect on our childhood and the way we were educated by our parents, tge more we can reflect, understand and question thinks. So that we become healthier and mental stronger human beeings and someone capable of parenting with a growth mindset. This os what I truely belive. So thank you again🧡🌱🙏

  • @sandyliu6264
    @sandyliu6264 Před měsícem +5

    Gold, love what Dr. Amen says every time I listen to him.

  • @Libier
    @Libier Před měsícem

    Wow. That was an amazing episode!! Thank you both ❤

  • @anamaria3421
    @anamaria3421 Před měsícem +9

    Jay, can I please just say that you are SUCH a brilliant interviewer! I am so impressed and I noticed that in all of your interviews, you are a great listener and ask sooo relevant and crucial questions, so thank you for that! ❤ keep up the amazing work🙏

    • @kelloggole5458
      @kelloggole5458 Před 29 dny +2

      Yes he is a good fraud too

    • @Johnnyalanwrench
      @Johnnyalanwrench Před 29 dny +1

      He’s a prick look at what’s been published on the guardian about him. You should also watch his interview with Jada Smith that was a terrible interview.

  • @jerangelalodowica6600
    @jerangelalodowica6600 Před měsícem

    He is a genius. It is my hope that i will be able to attend one of his sessions and clinic. He is very practical

  • @_bluephoenix_
    @_bluephoenix_ Před 29 dny +11

    After hearing about the Ruby Franke case recently, where many have lambasted her for the incident where she wouldn't bring her child food to school because they forgot it... it's easy to see how creating boundaries/enforcing consequences can be taken to the extreme. I do agree that there should be consequences yet by the same token, if the child has adhd and forgets because its beyond their capacity- it would only reinforce feelings of failure.
    I see this as A highlighted difference between "loving control" and into the hostile arena. Fascinating interview! Much to think on how my own militant upbringing has shaped my mind!

    • @mariemartinez3251
      @mariemartinez3251 Před 27 dny +3

      I’m really disappointed that no one of these experts talks about the importance of inclusion, not every child is typical.

    • @lcard9516
      @lcard9516 Před 27 dny +1

      I think he was talking about kids in general, I don’t think it’s targeted towards the ones with special needs

    • @alwayshangry8313
      @alwayshangry8313 Před 26 dny +1

      Good point! I find parents who take it to the extreme don't understand why they are doing things. Like my parents were strict, believed they should be feared and shouldn't be friends to their kids. They were mean for no reason, said NO when ever I asked anything and were my worst bully's. I was a lonely and very anxious kid but as an adult they expect me to be their best friend and give them all my attention. I believe they meant well but they followed a parenting style without using critical thinking.
      Edit: Ruby on the other hand is just plain awful

    • @Genny1992
      @Genny1992 Před 25 dny +2

      That was the only thing I didn't like about this whole video. We all forget things sometimes. I wouldn't be able to say "oh oh! My kid forgot his/her food, he/she can go hungry to learn not to forget it next time" and no I don't care how old said kid is, I will bring the food in a heartbeat!

  • @user-db7sp3vk7v
    @user-db7sp3vk7v Před 11 dny

    This conversation is absolutely fantastic. So much to be learnt 👏

  • @melissamaemedina
    @melissamaemedina Před měsícem

    Wow I literally just googled how to raise a mentally resilient kid and this new one popped up.. (and I’m a regular listener) ..glad to have it right when I need it!

  • @priyankasharma-rs2oq
    @priyankasharma-rs2oq Před měsícem

    Pretty informative podcast. I would like to thank you Jay for asking such relevant questions.

  • @RebeccaKing-by7rm
    @RebeccaKing-by7rm Před 22 dny +1

    This episode is pure gold.

  • @Stephanieislovely_butUno

    So this kinda works for adults too…
    I can’t tell you how many times people have opened up to me on a long drive, that I would have never thought we’d ever get along.
    It’s very critical how much people need to be understood actually just listened to. ❤ After that a weight is lifted and people can connect the dots themselves or can question what they might have perceived as being the solution/problem or it’s just normal to fuck all the time. We all do it and it’s completely normal to us all not only children. 🎉❤

  • @rodalynrarogal8803
    @rodalynrarogal8803 Před 28 dny +1

    Loving&firm parenting❤❤

  • @lifeof_fahmi
    @lifeof_fahmi Před měsícem +1

    I keep waiting for him to come.. he's my favourite 😊😊

  • @wb5408
    @wb5408 Před 25 dny +2

    The difficulty is for those of us who really have done all the things--not perfectly, of course--but when we have listened to all the advice, allowed the natural consequences, loved unconditionally, limited screentime, spent quality time with them, showed up for them when they need us, without making ourselves too available, allowed them to make their own decisions and stood with them through their mistakes, but the brain is not working right! So, we provide them with counseling, medical intervention, alternative health practitioners and methods, etc. and still, to seemingly no avail! Is there hope?

    • @ashleythekidscoachblanco
      @ashleythekidscoachblanco Před 24 dny

      Absolutely! Maybe you can glean some hope from knowing you’ve done everything you can do and you observe them to see what they are applying 🙏🏾

  • @ItsGeezee
    @ItsGeezee Před měsícem +1

    Thank you for your channel Jay

  • @eses99491
    @eses99491 Před měsícem +1

    What an enlightening talk! And everytime you asked a question to the doc, I was like omg yes, even I wanted to know that!

  • @simmychua3026
    @simmychua3026 Před 26 dny

    Ialways follow doc in you tube shorts,just a few months ago ,loved how he explains the topic

  • @user-rg6dv3pm7y
    @user-rg6dv3pm7y Před měsícem

    Thank you!!!

  • @chalmerjohnofficial
    @chalmerjohnofficial Před 27 dny

    It took me years to trust this channel because of the world we live in but full respect my G💯

  • @wafaal-turk174
    @wafaal-turk174 Před 11 dny

    Thank you. Very important information on raising children.

  • @angelesochoa5887
    @angelesochoa5887 Před 9 dny

    I’m very surprised that I’m doing a lot of this things without even knowing with my 11 yr old 🥰 this helps me answer a lot of my questions thank you Jay and Dr. Amen❤

  • @KristenGuyDesign
    @KristenGuyDesign Před 25 dny +2

    I want to teach them to not take themselves too seriously and to not follow anyone else’s advice since everyone is fallible and flawed and what makes sense to one person won’t always make sense for another person. I want them to always know it is their choice and then should feel confident in their choices and accept the experience if things don’t always work out the way they hoped. Hope for the best but expect to keep learning all their lives.

  • @HelenKerins
    @HelenKerins Před 29 dny

    What a great conversation! Looking forward to implementing a lot of what I learned here in my home ❤

  • @pepe340
    @pepe340 Před 26 dny

    My kids are 3&8 years old .thank you ..needed this

  • @lilyR84
    @lilyR84 Před měsícem

    Very informative! Thank you