You’re Cutting Out F Boys in 2023 (And So Are We) - PRETTY BASIC - EP. 200
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- čas přidán 14. 02. 2023
- Today’s episode is sponsored by SeatGeek! Use code BASIC for $20 off your first SeatGeek order. seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/BASIC
Happy Valentine’s week from your favorite girlies over at Pretty Basic. This one is for our single girls that are doing the dating app shuffle; Alisha shares some game-changing advice from a trusted friend that changed her whole perspective on the apps. The girls also share their thoughts on the "men marry the woman in front of them" phenomenon/theory. Listen to this episode if you love LOVE!
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Here to represent the conversation heart candy corn jelly bean loving community 😤😤😤😤
conversation hearts>>>
THANK YOU MIA
Candy corn jelly bean loverrrr! Used to loveeeee conversation hearts but eh. Not so much anymore. I like the sweet tarts one still
We out here
There had to be one with taste 😂😂😂
I want them to have jeremy and lauren on cuz i want jeremy to give alisha relationship advice
Pleaseeee give us this episode
no alisha’s right remi was sooooo mad when eli and bri spied on her date loool 😭😭
On another pb episode i can remember remi specifically saying she was pissed😂
39:41 im crying at remi forgetting that she was mad bc i vividly remember the vlog w/ eli where they recount the play by play of this exact date 😭
9:04 when Remi looks at her ring finger talking about her 4th V-Day with Cal 😂❤
we’re not subtle girlies 🤭
me, a Jehovah's Witness listener, who thought no one in class noticed i got "sick" and had to go to the nurse before every holiday party in class 👁️👄👁️
JW here 🙋🏽♀️ and I’m a teacher too 🙂 lolol
Lol same. 🤦🏾♀️
Okay girl I’m glad I’m not the only 💀🤣
I also remember Remi seemed pissed about her friends eavesdropping on her date. 😂
HAHAHAH
😂😂
Only OGS remember 😂😂😂😂
@@ddadam333 You know it! Day 1 podcast listener right here! 😂
Haha! yes lol
Sometimes I think it’s so interesting us girls have like strategic planning to the dating apps, but the boys just seem like they’re winging it LMAO
LMAOOOOOOO ok honestly
congrats 200 new ep
😂I remember Remi sounding kinda pissed about the eavesdropping thing too
This ep was really interesting to hear as someone who’s had very diff dating experiences bc I’m not straight. I think sometimes these convos can get very heteronormative (which makes sense bc we’re talking abt straight relationships this ep). I think queer people can have a very different dating experience/outlook, and even very different experience on dating apps. But it was really nice to hear this perspective on navigating dating in an extremely online world.
I had a rule about not reaching out to any guys on Hinge first too! But when I matched with my now boyfriend I had this urge to message him anyways and thought "oh he's really cute let me just entertain myself for a minute" and the rest is history!! He initiated our first date and we've been dating for two years now :--)
I think it's good to set boundaries and have expectations, but to also not be so rigid. There's definitely value in meeting/talking to different people and learning about their upbringing. I think that opportunity alone is pretty valuable and makes it worth it to not always take ourselves/the apps/dating so seriously :)
I remember in elementary there were 2 kids brother and sister who were Jehovah's Witness, they always had to sit out for the parties or go to a different room. My grandmother had explained it to me so I understood why they couldn't celebrate holidays. Even so I always felt kinda bad that they couldn't participate in the foods or parties. I remember one year we had this super cool teacher Mr. Uolla. He would always interject class to talk about his 2 cats that he loved dearly, & he had taco tuesday's for his classroom!!! there would be little activity stations and one of them had a little grill where you could make your tortilla and put all the fillings inside. Anyway this teacher was really friggen cool, so he always made sure that the Jehovah's Witness kids were included without celebrating the actual holiday. He would get them a treat that was non-holiday themed so they could still participate in a way.
met my bf on tinder and it’s definitely been a whirlwind romance (moved in together, planning wedding, expecting a baby all in a handful of months) and my nonnegotiables were I’m not messaging my matches first and i’m not going to carry the conversation. he went out of his way to text me/reach out every few days and always led the conversation. after a few weeks we were on facetime every night 😊
about the “waking up and being ready for marriage” - my bf said when he met me he was not at all looking for a relationship let alone thinking about marriage whatsoever, but once we started dating he knew he wanted all of that with me 👸🏾 but now you’re making me second guess this lol
nooo it’s all situational!!! Don’t second guess yourself or your relationship. u better tag us when he proposes 👀💗
The orange story cracks me up everytime. Remi was so stressed 😂
This is my first year as a teacher and celebrating Valentine’s day with my first group of 2nd graders was so special♥️♥️ I love hearing people say how special Valentine’s day is as a student.
Yessss Alisha I get that!! It’s true a lot of women I know don’t do that three month rule bc they just go with the flow bc they don’t wanna scare the man away!
Completely agree with you there we are all on our own timeliness we should not feel pressure to do something to keep a man. They should like us, fancy us because of who we are. Probably why I am still single I will not let go of that moral. ❤️💫
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves: are we going with the flow, or are we operating from a place of fear of rejection? Do we already *know* what their answer would be based off of how they treat us? Do we just want to hold on for a little while longer so that maybe they change their mind? Communication is so important in ANY relationship so why not start early on
@@rebeccamcauley4549 yes same girl!!!
@@prettybasicpodcast omg yes completely agree! I’ve learned I need to do this with all relationships in my life!
When I went on my first date with my now boyfriend I was nervous but wasn’t too optimistic about it because all previous guys I’d been involved with were complete fails, but it ended up being so amazing and 5 months later I cant imagine what would have happened had I cancelled the date.
Looking back, he did all the right things that I at the time didn’t think were as big a deal as they are (following up day of, etc.). The real ones are out there bbs ❤
For me personally one of my main “filters” is just overall being compatible with the person. Like if I’m with him and it seems forced like I have to come up with ideas of what to say that’s a big turn off for me… we also HAVE to have the same/similar sense of humor hahaha
this was such a good episode!!!💗 PB is back babyyyyy
I’m so anti dating apps. It’s choice overload. You never have to really commit or try to make it work because it’s endless swipes. Meeting ppl not on dating apps seems to last longer imo because they don’t have 5+ other convos going on.
Thank you for being so respectful when talking about other peoples faith ❤
My thoughts exactly. ❤️
Love listening and watching on my Wednesday mornings! Love you both!
WE LOVE YOU
This is my favorite episode soo far (I listen since day one) honestly I see the growth!!!!
i went on a tinder date and it was pretty good and we were vibing but at the end i was like “it’s getting pretty late so i’m gonna head home” and he went OFF on me saying i was leading him on and playing hard to get because i didn’t KISS him. he actually sent me some rude texts the following weeks too. mind you, he was like 10-15 years older than me 😅
😳damn sorry you went thru that
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that… what a horrible, entitled, disgusting person. the dating apps can be so scary sometimes :( be safe
I’m sorry you went through that. Definitely be safe!!
My favorites just know when I need to hear things. As a single gal I needed to listen today haha. Also Alisha. Please. Make a dating app 101 class video!!!😂😂
Hey ladies hey… I’m so glad my favorite podcast of PB is back… 🎉 😍 This episode has great information for the dating apps… I’ve been off && on them myself… Plus, I love the conversation hearts, peeps, candy corn && jelly beans… Missing out, girl… ILY both so much!! 🥰🤗
So behind on episodes but I needed to hear all of this!!! Fav episode by far 🫶🏼🫶🏼
Ya’ll are really calling me out on my candy preference 😂
Hahahaha sorry bestie
15 minutes in and I’m downloading Hinge as Alisha talks about having a 24 hour mark 😂😂
I definitely remember Remi saying she was mad they showed up to her date on her vlog and on the podcast 😂
My favorite non-negotiable on Hinge is when I'm in my "likes" and they only like my picture instead of something I said, I swipe left... solely because I feel like they only care about my looks and not my mind or interests.
I think you have to be open to the next step..(dating, marriage) to find it. I also think the right person can shift your view, but you have to be open to the idea first. You tend to find “the one” when you are confident in yourself ❤
You don’t need a partner to love valentines. There’s more to life than a partner lol
that blue looks soo good on alisha especially with her darker hair love it
I left my ex bc he told me he was never getting married soon after I met my now husband & my ex got married two years after with his now wife 😊 I truly believe we weren’t right for eachother & if I did stay with him we would’ve been with the wrong people.
Amazing ackward at the time great worked out for the best. 🧡✨️
i loved hearing all these date stories so much
soo just recently got married but me and my now husband have had this conversation about when he was ready to settle down and this is how it went: since he was 15 he’s wanted to find his soulmate. like that’s super young i know lmao and he dated women but never dated them more than a couple of months because he knew what he wanted from such a young age. and he was very specific about what he wanted. and never wanted to marry anyone until the moment he met me. lol like right then and there he knew he was going to marry me. so i really think it depends on the guy and how in tune he is with what he wants.
The fits this ep tho😍😍🔥🔥
Love listening and watching pretty basic ❤❤❤❤
I remember that vlog! Remi got so mad and it was so hilarious!
Stopping at 14:29 when I heard Alisha’s friend “I’m the common denominator” I had that thought process with friendship breakups and my friend told me something incredible.
You’re obviously the common denominator because it’s YOUR life. If we look at the other people then it’s their fault because they’re “the common denominator” in their life. So with relationships she’s obviously looking at “oh it’s me I’m the problem” but what about the guy she broke up with? He could be saying “I’m the problem” because it’s his life and he’s the common denominator in his life!
I hope that helps because that literally stops my thoughts when I have a “I’m the problem” moment ❤❤
I don't think it's always about the mentality of "I'm the problem". It's more having the ability to self reflect on your actions that keep getting you into the same situations time and time again. You can be a good person and attract bad people into your life. And in her friend's case, you can want something but you're keeping people in your life who want completely different things. If you don't take a second to look at your own actions, you could be in the same loop for the rest of your life.
Of course it's not always that black and white but sometimes it is, and it's good to self reflect in a non judgemental way for almost everyone in the world.
Omg my bestie in 5th grade and up was Jehovah’s Witness and most of the time she would stay in the class while we celebrated…sometimes she’d go to the office or go home early
Alisha I matched with a girl on February 1st and we’ve been talking every day. We finally met and had a first date today and it was truly the best first date I’ve ever had. I truly lost hope with the dating apps and we literally met on Tinder! Just give it some time I promise 🖤☺️
Yay! Couldn’t wait for this episode!!
Love that me and Rem have the same birth month 😌 my birthday is february 17th, ligtle over a week after hers!
What I don’t love is valentines tho, it reminds me of how single I am 🙃 and that I have never had a bf.. please tell me I am not alone in this!
I really liked this podcast. It was nice to talk about current dating trend. I feel that Alicia was in her element in this one. I know right now In her life she can relate more with this topic. I enjoyed seeing her feel so comfortable speaking.
I know you don't want people to feel bad but realisticly.....I think there's a lot of people who are together and it's convenient...meaning it's not meant to be. Which is why it ends. Some people aren't with the person who they love endlessly. Sometimes, people do settle. It's up to you to decide if you are happy, growing, stable and in love with the person. Love isn't enough you need alot more. If it ain't challenging you to grow....then it may not be right.
My filter was fun dates like if i can walk through a museum and make jokes about the most simple thing, they are the one. I don’t want dinner, i want to go to an exhibit or gallery, especially for a first date
I met my husband on bumble and I did basically the exact same thing. I told him after 3 months if we’re not taking this seriously I will step away and find someone who was serious. He asked me to be his girlfriend that next day because he didn’t want to lose me❤
Omg yess a new episode ❤️
Alisha this hairstyle is it!!
I love your podcast!!! i feel like i am hanging out with you!!!
two beautiful queens per usual!!!
thank you stunning queen
The most iconic way to DTR is: “Would you like to be in a relationship with me, or am I okay to date other people?”
I loved this episode
such a good episode babes
Love the hearts for Valentine’s Day so cute
I totally get both sides! My bf and I recently became engaged and he is a prior F boy who also said he would never get married. I totally feel like him and I just match each other so well and that's what he ended up wanting with me.
coming back here to say i used the seatgeek code for my beyoncé ticket.. THANK YOU REMI & ALISHA
I'm obsessed with this podcast
WE NEED ALISHAS BROTHER ON PB!!!!
The outfits tho 😍 where can i get Alisha's top and Remi's dress?
we love love
Happy late birthday Remi ❤ u look beautiful as alwayssssss
I watched alisha a little bit like forever ago but I found yall not too long ago and I LOVE yall are so cute and funny keep it uppp
I loved the advice in this episode
I remember the vlog and Remi was pissed about that date thing lol!!
Omg, would loooove an episode with alisha’s brotherrr!
Ooh interesting lol love a unique and honest young female funny pod chat😂❤
wowww that changes so much.. just say what you want because if you ask „what are we?“ you‘ll never get an answer
I’m gonna have to follow these rules when I download apps in 2024! I have banned dating apps for 2023 for my own mental health but this year lol
yesss!!👏🏽💗
There are definitely men out there who marry because that woman is THE WOMAN FOR THEM ❤
Not me eating the conversation hearts while watching the episode 😩
As someone who got engaged in noverber.. we have been together for 7 years...through the ups and downs and we knew we wanted to be each others only but we had to grow up...I couldn't imagine marrying someone else
I've never thought about it as a filter to the dating apps but I need someone to message me first and it has to be something I feel I can actually have a conversation too. I hate the message that;s just 'Hey' or like 'Hi whats up' like wtf am I supposed to say to that that's not just mindless small talk like I need more.
Around the 19 minute mark, my question is, if you have all these standards for guys and them needing to do all the work, what is the girl doing that shows the guy she is the one? Sounds like the guy won't be getting any effort from the girl
The candy corn and jelly bean slander right out the gate😅😅
19 and single (never been in a relationship) but happy belated single awareness day lol. Also, AQUARIUS SZN BABY! Feb 6 is my birthday!
The candy talk...lol I LOVE candy corn, hate the conversation hearts, and hate jelly beans, I do love strawberry liquorice though 🤷🏽♀️
I was the complete opposite of my mum. My mum was married at 17 and already had two kids by 21 and I always knew I could never do that. Even now at 26 I’m like ‘No thanks. I don’t want that.’ 😅
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years and have no interest in marriage/weddings whatsoever, so this whole conversation was fun to listen to lol. I’ve never had any of these thoughts and I’ve also never seen a dating app, so I’m just a fly on the wall loving this conversation 😂❤ QUEENS
Not Remi checking her empty finger at 9:04 🫣
Happy belated bday Remi ❤ my 21st is tomorrow :) love a fellow Aquarius
happy belated birthday Remi
omg! i remeber when alisha went andaganito spying on Remi! haha
Conversation hearts are so chalky I can’t. Candy corn are ok better when I was younger😂
Wow Alisha you look drop dead gorgeous ❤xx
i love the dating apps standards i’m just scared to go on dates lmao
On bumble, I used to put in my profile that I wouldn’t message them unless they used their extend on me😂 but don’t give up Alisha!! I met my husband on tinder of all places. I did lay out what I wanted in my bios. In a funny way though.
My 2 brother sadly same story , have been cheated after promised rings , any 1 been single for 8 years and other for 4 years and they want to find someone so bad , but they don’t know how start .
Girls sometimes be flirting on them and throwing their self sent them, and there’s never makes moves …
Just got married on 2/2 and I met my husband on Hinge! (Also, Remi, I met you a few days after that in Vegas! Sorry if I was weird!)
This might be a hot take but I’ve never looked at one of my exes and been like “oh he just married or started a serious relationship with this girl because he wasn’t ready for me” even if I got my heart broken. It just wasn’t meant to be. And yes like you said every situation is different.
Lol conversation hearts and candy corn is so Lauren
HAHAHA no I’m dead because I live in New Zealand and even my friends who live here sometimes forget to take fruits and shit out of their bags and a few have been fined 😅😂
Oh shit, I was the victim of the Jehovah’s Witnesses family when I was younger. I’m shook you guys brought it up. But now looking back - it seriously affected my life (not in a good way). I wish I’ve never been in this cult in my life because now I have insecurities and a trauma because of it.
I am a relative of Jehovah witnesses and I hear you.. my relatives children both left the religion. If you haven't, you should look into therapy. You have to grieve your childhood and work through it
My valentines cards were Star Wars, Harry Potter, or Twilight themed like when I was old enough to choose them on my own lol
Dang only 3 minutes in and the SLANDER being spoken about conversation hearts, candy corn, and jelly beans!! 😂
Haven’t listened in a while because life but omg I needed this today while I get ready! I’m training to be a makeup artist and my makeup tutor is a total dick. My family also just got a dog last week but before she got in the house, she ran away, survived 5 days in the freezing New England temperatures, even crossed a frozen river on the one day of the year it was cold enough to freeze over! But she was found and now she’s home safe thank GOD with nothing but a gash on her paw. She’s a beautiful black German shepherd named Black Ice! It’s been so stressful lately! I’m here for this podcast so I can wind down and just chill before my day starts. Love you guys! ❤
LOVE YOU SO MUCH
@@prettybasicpodcast BABES❤️ ily
ALISHA REMI what r ur feelings on who should pay on the dates ??