r/Amiwrong My Husband Traded Dirty Pics with the Babysitter
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
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0:00 Intro
0:06 Nudes
7:05 Boob insults
9:04 Security cams
10:01 Shower or else
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Story 2: I've watched every AITA, and every single time, when a bully insults someone, it's okay, but the moment they get the same treatment, suddenly they play the victim, that's what happen in this story again, OP gave the bully a taste of her own medicine and the bully wants to act like she's the victim
The classic can dish it out, but can't take it syndrome. Every bully I ever had was the same.
Well... you have to admit her comeback was on steroids, cause even I felt that 😂
I've seen it a lot online. It happens to me too, even when I'm not the one who starts it
@@SergioBicerra She went nuclear on that one!
@@SergioBicerrait sounds like it was perfectly accurate and well-deserved lol
She could certainly dish it out but of course couldn’t take it. Projection. 💯
Last story: Showering thrice daily isn't exactly healthy either. You're stripping oils out your hair and attacking the microbiom on skin every time you shower. But showering not at all isn't an improvement. Thrice daily is better than not at all, but once daily should be enough.
Exactly. I shower once a day. Typically at night. I go to bed feeling better after a stressful day, I've washed off the dirt and grime as well as the negatives of the day.
Overly showering is terrible for you
Even depending on your skin and hair type, it could be every other day so long as you didn't get dirty or sweat a lot that day. Since sometimes for some people even every day can cause issues. But any less than that and it's just 🤢 Even just hanging out at home doing nothing means a shower every other day at /least/.
i shower twice a day on a morning and at night after work but im a fat guy and i sweat so its best i do hahaha
I only shower/bathing once every 2-4 days , depending if its hot or cold outside , and i have 0 problems even my partner says so, but what OP boyfriend is doing ... even Hobo ppls are wiping themselfs with watered clothes. Cant salvage , just leave him , you dont want to deal with the "cottage cheese" he prepared for you , on his very personal parts...
"Im so sorry! Ill do anything, just come back!"
Still doesnt take a god damn shower. 🤢
I feel like there’s more to it. I mean maybe not? But who just flips that quick from 3 showers a day (still not healthy) to none at all? And then accuses his long time girlfriend who loves him of trying to control him when she wants him to maintain good hygiene? Because she loves him! That you tuber was probably some slovenly incel who wanted to make others like him so he wouldn’t be lonely.
@@stevenandcarminabeedle9089 There surely must be other people around him who are disgusted by his stench, such as colleagues, friends, the man in the shop.
When she showed him new information, and instead of accepting it he got angry, he showed the dangerous, stupid (but extremely common) trait of not being able to change his opinion based on new facts or evidence. Like my Granddad used to joke "My mind's made up! Don't go trying to confuse me with the facts!"
Confirmation Bias, along with all its super toxic Cognitive Bias siblings, is poisoning the human race.
@@stevenandcarminabeedle9089 Got it in one! Nobody but an incel who never leaves their parents' basement could get away with never showering.
@@stevenandcarminabeedle9089 Depressive episode, maybe?
Story 1: it's more than just a emotional affair. He probably wanted to move away because once it got out that he was sex-ting his coworker /friend's 20 year old daughter, who was acting as their Nanny it was over. And you can't move with OP the Paris because he didn't want the table to turn on him, since they'll be surrounded by her very unhappy family. Which is probably why his mom thinks she can be mad at OP for having a backbone in not just letting go of the fact he was probably going to cheat on her. Now he can't even play with his 20 year old because he'll lose his daughter if he does.
Also, idk how it works, but what I do know is you need some kind of visa to live in another country for a certain amount of time before living there fully. Again idk the process since different countries have different procedures when it comes to visas
He doesn’t seem to mind losing his daughter though. Since he’s only bothered to see her twice.
You would think a half way decent father would do what it takes to be with his daughter.
@@husky8204 It would have been very easy for the father to block the OP from taking the daughter and moving to France but he didn't. I think the OP must have used some more of her Jedi Psychiatrist Mind Tricks on him in order to get him to agree LOL.
The father is obviously not very smart and probably is just good looking and that is all he brings to the relationship table. If he had half a brain, he would have blocked her from moving to France with his daughter. He is basically toast now as France has some way different ideas regarding child custody/visitation with respect to French Citizens (OP/mother) and Visa Visitors (father).
@@husky8204 it wasnt said what he does to make "money and a passport" not an issue, but the means to do something and the ability to arnt the samething.
@@husky8204 Okay, to be fair to the guy, travelling to France from the US takes a whole day just one way, basically. (Between 12-20 hours of travelling depending on where within the US and France).
So visiting his daughter is going to be every 2-3 months, which is what OP said (2 times in 6 months). The mother saying "I provide unlimited access to his kid" and then moving to a different continent isn't exactly true. Let's be clear here, she's severely physically limiting the father's access to the kid. Not saying she isn't justified in doing so, just saying she shouldn't claim things that are not true. (Unless the guy wishes to move to a different country, where he has no family, friends, might not have any career options, doesn't speak the language, etc. - in other words, where it might not be feasible for him to move).
My father worked in a country that was 2-3 hours with plane and he visited us every 2-3 months. So that timeline seems reasonable to me.
Story 2: Grown up or not, it's still bullying. OP needs to find better friends than this bully, she is literally body-shaming OP, and when OP claps back at her, SHE'S the a**hole? No, that's just classic bully logic there.
The bully was basically “I’M the only one allowed to say anything mean around here and YOU just have to take it because I said so
@@bibigamer502 And when OP claps back at her for the "fake t*ts", she be like "WAAAAAHHHHHH WHY DID YOU SAY THAT ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO BODY SHAME YOU REEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
Plus, the friends who sided with her essentially mean they body shame others too.
Tale as old as time: they can dish it out, but they can't take it.
In the words of the great bard and poet Kid Rock"
"People poke fun, an' that's all right,
but when I start pokin' back, they get all uptight."
The moment OP said "She used to bully me, but over time we became close friends somehow" I knew that she was never really OP's friend, it's a tale as old as time.
OP: I see you were receiving inappropriate texts from the babysitter and your responses have been suspiciously deleted. Anything to say for yourself?
OP's jerk husband: STOP USING YOUR JEDI MIND TRICKS ON ME GOD
LOL Right! I feel bad for licensed physiatrists because most people in their life think they are somehow manipulating them with "mind tricks" or expect them to be free therapists whichever fits them more at the time! Either it is "You're tricking me!" or "Can I talk your ear off for the next hour so I don't have to PAY!" always one or the other! SMH
At first I was like "well she's an adult and he probably fell for HER mind tricks", but then the line about feeling like a school girl dropped.
If a woman said that to me, I'd run for the hills.
And I'm exactly his age, actually.
It's funny how he told me like 5 things from his first defense alone. He's insecure in the marriage, he is cheating, someone got into his head about his wife and her profession, he probably dislikes the practice of psychology as a whole, and is probably going to vilify OP in every shape and form towards anyone who would listen and paint her as a horrible wife that refuses to give up her career and be a SAHM and uses her profession against him constantly
All of that from "STOP USING YOUR PSYCHOLOGY TRICKS AGAINST ME". When humans have a guilty conscience, the first thing they bark about in defense can tell someone everything they need to know. BTW I'm not even a psychologist or anything like that this is just humans 101 lol
my psychiatrist friend admits that she does this subconsciously sometimes.
Honestly im calling bs on the first story and shes leaving out a shit ton of details.
Love that the fiance basically went "Don't use your jedi mind tricks on me" lmao
Bit of subtext you may have missed, she originally said she was a psychologist, and the husband said "psychiatrist mind tricks." She wouldn't have made that mistake about her OWN career, so that was likely a direct literal quote from him. Her own husband doesn't even know what she does. Psychiatry is a medical specialty. Psychology is considered behavioral health and not a medical specialty.
@@adamb89 i think the op from the original story is lying like crazy
@@adamb89OP mixed it up because it’s a fake story. XD
There is something to it, that showering 3 times per day is unhealthy. It really, really is. But to go from that to not showering for weeks is a whole other level of stupid.
Using less shampoo or soap is already better for the skin. Just shower once per day, and if you have sensitive skin then use soap only every other time and shower with just water the other times. Water is a solvent by itself already, tho obviously it's not an emulsifier, so showering with soap shouldn't be neglected either.
With skin conditions like eczema you want to exfoliate too, but not shower daily. That natural bacteria helps reduce flare ups, 2-3 times a week is enough. But if you have a physically intense job, and therefore sweat a lot, once a day would be good. It's weird but sweating when you have eczema makes you itch, lol, I'm guessing it's the salt. Plus if you showered daily you'd go through an epic amount of moisturiser, cos you have to baste yourself like a xmas turkey, an the stuff that actually works, like aveeno isn't cheap
Yeah he went from one unhealthy extreme to the other
@@nondisclosure3920 As someone with eczema (and germaphobia; I'm working on it) who used to work in a factory for 13-15 hours a day, I can confirm! All of this is extremely true and good advice. Personally I wash my hair every other day or every 2-3 days (varies by season due to temps) and shower every other day unless I've done a lot of physical activities (or gone outside LOL) then I show that day, regardless of if I showered the day before or sometimes even earlier that same day.
For those who break out from moisturizer (and/or hate the texture of them / lotions), my advice would be to use gentle or little soap on your body after washing your hair with the focus being your arm pits, the groin / buttocks, and any folds on the abdomen / torso (be it from having boobs/breasts/pecs [whatever you want to call them] and/or from having a larger / thicker stomach / waist area). Gently exfoliate those areas and then focus on exfoliating the arms and areas you get itchy the most (for me, its my scalp and sometimes my inner elbow and around my eyebrows).
I'd also recommend washing your pillows and bedding somewhat frequently (at least once every one or two weeks) as well as rotating out either pillows/pillow-cases or shaking of your pillow everyday before going to bed to help keep any excess skin cells off your bedding and yourself.
*1st Story:* What kind of family thinks that _NUDES_ are "harmless messages?" I wouldn't be shocked if it turned out that Alex is either a golden child or his side of the family have a history of infidelity.
The cheater probably lied about the texts
Pretty sure they wouldn't think they're harmless if she sent them to a minor, would they?
Imo, the worst part about that homewrecker's text messages was the schoolgirl fetishism and how creepy she was around OP's kid...
To me, those are two very alarming red flags that give off the vibe of her possibly being a pedophile...
The fact that she's acting like _OP_ is in the wrong speaks volumes about how genuinely deranged she is...
I think their attitude was more that she only sent messages and HE didn't actively respond, not the content of the messages. A lot of people, especially older people or people from more conservative sub-cultures, only acknowledge actual sex as cheating.
We had a short hairy guy who was a roommate of a friend of mine. He sweated profusely and refused to bathe. His roommate complained to him, to no avail. So, back in the days of wall phones and answering machines, I had my sister randomly call, call him by his name, told her stunk and needed to take a shower. Just a random female voice. His roommate and I chuckled and as we heard the shower turning on.
Story 4: So he basically fell for some BS science. "Healthier to not shower for months at a time" my arse, that is unhygenic AND unhealthy.
If he wants to destroy his hygiene and risk infections, then so be it, but he needs to understand that these things affect other people (but of course he's the kind of person to not care)
No, he fell for some BS fiction. It's not science to just randomly say whatever comes to mind without testing it. BS science may be wrong, but at least they try.
That guy in the last story traded one extreme for another, taking three showers per day and covering yourself on expensive perfumes will destroy your skin and hair
I seriously wonder how we was even able to do that when he showered 3x a day. If for whatever reason (i.e. like being sick) I don't shower for 2 days I already feel so gross. I can't imagine going on like this for weeks.
What that one youtuber was probably saying is that the idea of showering every day or multiple times a day is in a way responsible for the need to do so. If you shower frequently you strip the oils off your skin and from your hair, so your skin goes into overdrive to replace them. That amped up oil production can cause an increase in blackheads or whiteheads.
On the other hand, if you let it go too long, that ALSO causes an increase in blackheads and whiteheads, not to mention being just generally disgusting since you're literally painted head to toe in dead stuff.
Nanny story: how did the husband never think to respond to the photos with "stop sending me your noods", seems like he was hoping she'd keeps sending them
Story 2: So it's okay for her to insult OP, but it's not okay for OP to insult her back. I see, that is some bad hypocrisy. OP needs better friends
ISO9000 standard bully logic
"Guys, don't listen to CZcamsrs! We don't know what we're talking about."
Are you saying I should not listen to this piece of advice? Guess I'll just keep listening to Rslash!
PSA: PLEASE SHOWER! (or bathe) . It is incredibly unhealthy not to. It can lead to innumerable skin conditions, including skin infections. And many people are allergic to scents, so the bo and the cologne are bioweapons. Lol
Eta: do everything dabny says!
If not, you get at least 2/5 wrong points lol
If you have extreme bo that is smellier than most other people and cake on spray on axe deodorant. The score goes up to 3/5 buttholes.
True, but showering too frequently is just as bad.
It's not good, but it's not just as bad @@InkaHalme
Any day I have the time and energy (and low pain level) to do the whole routine, I do it!
I think it says a lot that the ex-fiancé from the first story didn't try to fight for custody of his daughter.
Probably doesn’t want his kid as much as he didn’t want OP
Well he’ll get easy custody with the 20 year old nanny. The fact she was talking about them being together and asking the baby if she WANTED A SIBLING?? What was he doing and saying to make her think that was a possibility??
Not really. It's incredibly common for men to give women full custody to appear more accommodating to the courts. Custody hearings in the US are EXTREMELY biased against men and fighting for custody can even cause you to lose custody and visitation entirely in some states. Especially in the case of infidelity, or perceived infidelity in this case. He was doing what he had to do. Granted, he's a scumbag for what he did with the babysitter, even if it wasn't actually physical, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's an unfit father. Yes, the "I don't want to fly" excuse is pretty lame, but based on her updates I wouldn't put it past OP to spontaneously "offer" visitation a day or 2 out without proper time to prepare. Remember, she moved back to France and we're only getting her side of the story.
I think it says a lot about the OP that shes willing to take the kid across country borders to make the most difficult for a father to have a relationship with the daughter because what shes doing is what she claims she isn't doing.
@@LifesGuardian The majority of men don't want to be the primary caregiver, for various reasons. That's not to say they don't love their children.
8:37 slash really said “…girl💅”
Rslash: "Don't listen to youtubers, we don't know what we're talking about."
Me: "I'm not gonna listen to this advice, as you don't know what you're talking about..."
Guy in the last story should shower every other day. If he took one on a Monday the next time would be Wednesday. That way he’s not wasting water showering 3 time a day and he’s keeping clean.
Story 1: I don't blame people for the "Kidnapping" comments/concerns. This is something that happens with alarming regularity and OP did not explicitly say in her first post that her ex-fiancée was aware/consented of it. My brother-in-law's girlfriend took their son halfway across the country while he was at work. She stayed with friends and family and couldn't be pinned down because she had no physical address. She couldn't even be served custody papers for shared custody because she dodged the lawyers. Finally, after about a year we got a text from her to come get our nephew. The law could do literally nothing and I know for a fact drug use/inappropriate adult activity was going on while he was present, luckily, he was quite young, so I doubt if he remembers much. Thank God she eventually got a conscience and gave him back. OP is also not doing herself any favors with the updates threatening to remove visitation entirely if the ex-fiancée allows the nanny near the kid. There's no proof, or even evidence, that the babysitter is any threat to the child. Granted, it's an extremely low chance, but what if he marries her? He is still that child's father regardless of how hurt/betrayed OP feels.
As for OP, provisionary 0/5 B-holes with a potential for 5/5 if she prevents ex-fiancée from visitation at any point before the child turns 18. Ex-fiancée, 5/5 b-holes. If she (the babysitter) initiated the conversation, he should have immediately shut it down in no uncertain terms. Something like "Please don't send me images/conversations like this again as it's extremely inappropriate." Never mind that he's a married man, the power dynamic alone could get him in trouble legally. She could claim that he required her to do this as a prerequisite for her employment. That's jail time or at least name on a list and awkward conversations with the neighbors when you move territory. Shut it down, show the wife, and find a new babysitter. End of discussion. I can kind of understand him not wanting to move. It's not like he'd be moving to a different town, this is international, and he'd be moving away from any support structure he had to be completely isolated with the only people he knows thinking he's a scumbag, which he is, but still. She chose to move to the US on her own, presumably before even having met him, so it's not the same thing. Not to mention his job, money may not be an issue now, but what about in a few years when he can't find work because she's poisoned the well? Not visiting when he can because he "doesn't want to fly" is pretty bad though. That being said, from the way this woman is talking I wouldn't put it past her to "grant" visitation like a day or 2 out so he can't adequately prepare. Babysitter, 5/5. She's hitting on a married man, that never ends well. I hope OP doesn't give this scumbag another chance, that's absolutely deal-breaker territory for me. Porn is one thing, you don't know these people and you'll never see them. This is entirely another. Honestly, even though she was betrayed by her ex, this woman sounds more and more toxic the more she updates and it's probably a good thing this relationship ended. I'm sorely tempted to give her a bump to 3/5 just from the way she's talking about using the kid to hurt her ex.
Story 2: Nope. OP 0/5 b-holes. Bully gonna bully. Find better friends.
Story 3: Legally, ex-gf may have a case. That is her surveillance system, and he didn't have any legitimate reason to be looking through it. That being said, it was exterior facing so no invasion of privacy. He could have installed his own surveillance system across the street if he wanted, and had permission from the owners of the property, and got the same information. OP 0.5/5 b-holes because technically what he did was wrong. Ex-gf 5/5 for being a cheater and for trying to make this about him following up on a lead instead of about her infidelity.
Story 4: OP 0/5 b-holes. If her ex-bf is willing to put their health in jeopardy, he doesn't deserve her. Kudos to OP for trying to talk it out and explain why, with sources, she's against it even if it was unsuccessful. Ex-bf 3/5 b-holes. Yes, he's within his rights to do this if he wishes. Yes, it's incredibly disgusting and unhealthy, but if that's how he wants to live, go for it, I guess. I do have to mention that showering three times per day isn't healthy either. There are natural oils that build up in the hair and skin that are beneficial. However, if they're left over a period of days or weeks, they can get really nasty.
Yeah I'm hoping that story is fake because she went nuclear and likely did not have the right to do any of that. She's lucky he was dumb and signed over his rights.
@@SeraphSeph I wouldn't say he signed over his rights, more like temporarily waived them to smooth the transition. That's just speculation based on her report of what he said, since we don't have his side of the story.
Sadly, I can see this happening. Especially if she led him to believe they had a chance to reconcile, even if after a brief separation. Yes, I'd say she got off quite easy. God knows if my wife/gf even suggested leaving the state, let alone the country, following a breakup, I'd have the law on her butt faster than she could blink. Custody agreement first.
Last Story: I'm getting middle school flashbacks where some guys would just pour axe on their clothes instead of washing them. The smell of bo just kept building up just with a tiny smell of axe on the side.
Yes ugh 🤢
When I was 15 there were a few guys that didn't know how to use a deodorant. They would get sweaty first, and then use deodorant after they started smelling of bo.
The last story - she should buy him a pet skunk. They'd be happy together!
The skunk probably has better hygiene.
That's being cruel to that poor skunk.
First story: First off, to Rslash: Please know that there is a difference between babysitters and nannies. Professional nannies are a luxury service that families hire to help in child rearing and care for the child(ren). Babysitters are occasional child aid whenever parents need a date night and the services they provide are very different. Just had to clear that up cuz my gf is professional nanny and HATES it when people think there isn't a difference between the two. Secondly, this girl was in NO WAY a nanny with professional experience, not even a babysitter really. She's a dropout and probably didn't even have certifications for child care most nannies need to have at the minimum.
Just because she doesn't have professional experience doesn't mean she wasn't hired as a Nanny and doesn't mean she didn't hold that job title. There's no formal requirement to become a Nanny. Training and certifications just help you have a better chance to be hired by letting you stand out over other applicants, unless you're applying at an agency that has it's own hiring requirement. But this girl didn't need any because her dad got her the job which bypassed the competition and didn't involve an agency. And at no point in this story did it say she had professional nanny experience, so it's weird you're acting like that claim was ever made. The "luxury service" comment makes me think you're ignoring how rich that dude is when he can casually fly to Italy from the US without financial concern. OP also sounds financially well off. And the girl wasn't just there for date nights or a couple hours here and there. She was there every day working a full time position taking care of the kid while they were both at work.
So good job on being completely wrong in every possible way.
@@Urrarg You completely misread what I wrote. Nannies ARE a “luxury service” because they are not babysitters. They are trained in actual child rearing. Babysitters need very little to be babysitters and don’t bring as much to the table in taking care of a child as a nanny. Most nannies go through certification classes to make themselves presentable to trustworthy in raising kids when the parents aren’t there. My gf has been a nanny of 20+ years and can tell you all the ways they are SO much different than babysitters. Do your research next time.
@@drewgilmore9978 That's great that your GF is a well experienced Nanny, but that doesn't change the fact that you need no formal training or experience to be hired as a nanny or hold the job title of nanny. It will make it harder to find a job unless you get hired through Nepotism like this person did. But that training and experience is in no way a mandatory to hold the title of Nanny. This person wasn't a babysitter, she was essentially taking the role of a stay at home mom so the mom didn't have to. That makes her a Nanny whether you want to admit it or not.
It's the same thing.
@@jay2thaudy No they’re not
Story 3: As someone who spent £50 on Domino's for _themself_ (I made two entire meals out of it), I'm kinda worried now that I'm just gonna gorge on food and get accused of cheating because I order too much food to intentionally meet the thresholds for free delivery and free extras resulting in me also happening to have extra food left over for the next day.
Thank you for the chuckle, even if I'm not sure if you meant to give me one.
If it helps, I would hope that person you are with would understand your pattern and see that for you this type of ordering is the norm rather than the anomaly. I suppose you'd have to be careful if you ordered somewhat more than usual or if you ordered normally but then had no leftovers the next day. In the case of the latter you could always smoke some cannabis and claim extra munchies 😅...
But that’s normal for you to get that amount of food so it wouldn’t be suspicious to a loved one who knows you. In the girls case I’m guessing she’s a light eater so that’s what tipped off op
"I'm an adult and you can't control me!"
"Same, which is why I'm breaking up."
[Shocked smelly Pikachu face]
story 1: once a cheat, always a cheat.
story 2: once a bully, always a bully. (Secuity cam is a continuation of this one)
story 3: once a slob, always a slob.
Totally not a pattern lol
Alex's mom thinks a wife should ignore a husband's 'indiscretions'? I have a suspicion about Alex's father and where Alex learned his behavior.
Story 3: gotta love that cheater logic.
"HOW DARE YOU CATCH ME CHEATING?! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"
I’ve actually seen Redditors using this excuse on the OP. “I’m not excusing cheating but violating a cheaters privacy is UNACCEPTABLE and controlling behavior.
Lmao 😭🤣
Dude should seriously be an investigator or some shit tho. He found that shit out by a DOMINO’S RECEIPT?! color me impressed
We really need equality in the courts. Family Court especially.
Even during the worst period of my life i still showered once a week... and when i said "Worst Period" i absolutely mean it, nowadays i usually cant even go one full day without feeling the need of a shower, but back then i was NOT in a good headspace.
Its a minor miracle i survived it, as in, didnt rage quit on life kinda way.
I think you were a bit harsh on the idiot ex with the the nanny, saying that he hasn't relocated in 4 months means he hasn't got a visa, new job and learnt a new language to allow him to get a job in France! This would take time if this is what he plans to do. Also the "I won't do anything to stop him from seeing her" oh, except move to another continent 3 and a half thousand miles away ...
And even the OP saying that money isn't the issue regarding visits. Maybe not but I bet time is, its not like he can just call by to read her a bedtime story. New York to Paris is just over 7 hours so assuming they are east cost and not somewhere like LA which would nealy be 11 hours and thats just flight times so for every trip its essentially a day on each end of the journey, so you can't even do weekends without sleeping on planes or extra days off.
Listen, I have no say over what transpired after op left. Because it's an all around difficult situation to even imagine myself in. But I can see why she'd move back to France, that's where her support is. She had no one in the US. The ex lied, tried manipulation to make her not think about the obvious sexting. And the nanny straight up asked a DISGUSTING question to the infant that implied physical cheating in the future. Staying in the US could very well put her in the position that the nanny could try something, and so could the ex, because she had no support, none.
She also said she would be willing to bring Cassie to the states for visits. I think instead, she should do that, it's been 4 months, maybe it's time for a visit.
But I do kind of understand why people would be a bit upset over him not visiting her.
I'm not trying to argue by any means! You have a solid point on why he hadn't, and I hope my comment reflects that I agree!
@@lillylovegood2300 oh I agree with all of that but you also can't say you didn't do anything to prevent him from seeing his kid when you moved to another continent. That's definitely something 😜
@@davidmccurdy8911 it's is something, that's why I mentioned she could(should) bring Cassie to see her dad.
He could like… You know… Not cheat less than a year after his daughter is born.
Cosmetologist here. Showering 3 times can dry out your skin. 2 times is more than enough.
A light/short one at morning after workout, and a proper one at night 30 minutes after dinner is recommended.
Hope that helps! ❤
As someone with depression and anxiety that both make it very difficult for me to take showers, I can definitely say it is NOT healthier to only shower once every few weeks. It's horrible for you. You get rashes and infections on your skin, you can smell so terrible you don't even want to smell yourself, your hair becomes a mess, your face becomes oily and dirty, layers and layers of dead skin build up on your body (especially on your feet) - there's really no benefit to it. Not to mention that other people can smell you and that's terrible for good impressions, which comes with its own slew of issues.
Regular bathing = good. I don't know why people have to keep relearning this lesson.
1st Story: He would not be able to simply move to France. They (like all countries) have immigration laws that unless you are entering the country illegally you have to follow. He would need spouse or employment visas to stay any real length of time to set up residency. Im not sure what it is for France but I would assume its 90 Days, like the USA. Unless he is a Citizen of France him moving there is simply not an option.
That said I can see these two are going to have some huge custody issue. Essentially it can be argued she took the baby from him and fled the country. So it could lead to some hot water if he files paperwork in the USA because her agreed paperwork would have assumed her staying within the state, she specifically left out she was moving to France.
US law cannot do anything to her in France. She is absolutely safe.
@@e.vasileva5891 France is not a non-extradition country. So, her committing a crime in the US could very easily be a problem for her in France. That being said, it sounds like this had gone on for a while, so I doubt if they'd go for it now that it's been so long.
@@LifesGuardian But since she is a citizen, I see no reason for France to extract her back to the US. I suppose her child is also a French citizen. It's not like she is a US fugitive.
The husband did sign off on everything
@@e.vasileva5891 No, she's not a fugitive, which is why I mentioned how long it was. However, if he had filed charges of kidnapping against her when she first moved and took their daughter with her, then there is a good chance she would have been extradited to the US to resolve the issue. Her being a French citizen doesn't matter at all since there is an extradition treaty between the US and France. Had she been Chinese, that's another matter entirely. There's no treaty there and they're known for not extraditing Chinese nationals for any reason.
Last story:
Showering at least once a week minimal or 2-3 times a week is better than not at all and better than him going weeks wohout showering. It's not healthy to have multiple showers a day or technically daily. Skipping a day or two between is healthier for the oils in your skin and hair
12:25
I dunno, that sounds like something a CZcamsr would say....
I think Rslash should appreciate the fact that he can't understand how people can have children and not want to be around them if it doesn't involve wanting a reasonable break.
rSlash: dont listen to youtubers, WE dont know what we are talking about. That line alone makes this channel worth listening.
That last story, dang. Way to go from one extreme to another. Just shower once daily maybe? Also, I don't see why he can't at least do a sinkbath if he stinks?
Thrice daily is definitely too much, that's a waste of water and if you use soap each time, you're ruining your skin. But if you have strong body odor, you should definitely wash in some way before interacting with others...
Last story: I’m glad OP left him I dealt w the same thing w my ex. My ex was a strange man and it was hard to get him to shower like ever. Every now and again I could get him to shower at-least once a week but his BO was so bad his clothes no matter how many times you washed em still smelled funky his sheets I mean anything this guy came in contact w to some degree was BO. Then came the dreaded day I noticed after I visited him for three months (that itself is a long story) I was having a bad acne problem every single but if my body. Went to the dr to see what was up cause I usually am clear I figured when I was there it was cause their shower was well water. NOPE! I had a staph infection from him acne everywhere and one or two boils to really hit it home one of which after being treated left me what’s called a keratin scar. Because even tho I used medicine I tried not to mess with the big pink pussy thing on my arm they can still do that.
Now I forever have a reminder of my ex on my arm and one of his cat on my hand on the same arm.
TLDR: you saved yourself from and infection and if you didn’t break up w him over that you’d prob end up a lil similar to me never being able to 100% look at your arm without thinking about how horrible you got treated by someone who was suppose to love you…
What's halirous, is yesterday, a women vlogger was hospitalized due to infections because she hadn't showers in like 57 days or some shit and was getting sicker and sicker.
Lol at the French lady saying she's not overlooking her husband's indiscretions.
I'm going to call you on the first one. There's a difference between not willing to be near your child and not being willing to uproot your entire life to live in another country where you may struggle with the language.
I'm going to say this is an ESH. The husband is clearly in the wrong, but OP is focusing way too heavily on blaming him for not wanting to see the kid. Also, depending on the jurisdiction, her actions are literally illegal in certain places in the US. If the courts are willing to give you even partial custody, you can literally sue to force the other parent to choose between staying in the same town or giving up their rights. You're not allowed to move to another town in a way that will make shared custody untenable.
The guy made a gamble that she chose not to correct him on, he clearly didn't plan on completely giving up a relationship with the daughter. Even if money is no object, moving 12+ hours away is something he could sue on. This is why people are accusing her of kidnapping.
I'm leaving your judgement on the guy being a cheating jerk alone, but you're way out of line for saying any of this means he doesn't want to be with the kid, and also the wife gets 2/5 for not being up front about her intent to cut out the kid from his life.
Story 2: Man i’ll never understand stories like this.
“Oh yeah this person is my friend…she just bullies me and puts me down constantly…”
Like…what?
Op is NTA but like…idk why she’s friends with this woman…
Story 2 - Op's "friend" clearly has self-esteem issues, as evidenced by her extensive/excessive plastic surgery, and by staying with her unfaithful husband, the latter of which likely also contributes to her low self-regard. Given that the other girls tolerated the "flat" jibes, but called Op out for mocking Lia for being cheated on, it seems that only Op feels that the two remarks were of equal caliber. And yes, it's sad that Op's friend resorts to putting Op down in-order to make herself feel better, but it sounds like the girl is seriously hurting.
There seems to be a trend now where people think not bathing is healthy, because of the misconception that people didn't bathe regularly until the 20th century. People throughout history have in fact maintained personal hygiene, just in a different way that we do today. Bathing like we do today would be much too laborious with no running water or electricity, so most people opted for essentially a daily spongebath, or even rubbing themselves down with a course, dry cloth, and using water every few days. Hair would often be washed only once a month, because they kept it covered from pollutants, brushed it thoroughly to distribute the oils through the hair to moisturize it and prevent build up at the roots.
I personally only shower 2-3 times a week for the most part, washing more if I get dirty or sweaty. In the summer I usually have a quick shower daily, but keep my hair dry and only wash it twice a week. And no! I do not smell! I use a bit of deodorant, put on clean clothes daily, and that is enough to not smell. I'm sure if you don't want to use deodorant, washing your armpits with soap at least once a day will probably work as well. Usually by day 3 my hair starts to get a bit greasy, but I just put it up and it's fine.
Excessive showering and washing of the hair can also be bad, as it strips all of the natural oils away, which then causes your body to over produce oil, which is why if you wash your hair daily, it gets very greasy very quickly if you skip a day. It's important to find a balance that works for you, as everyone is different
"I guess he didn't really mean he'd do anything. He didn't move to France." Look I get that he messed up really, really bad with the babysitter thing. Like, that should have been SO easy to shut down if he wanted to protect his existing relationship... but like... Moving to another country on another continent is a hair more complex than moving to another city or state. You realize that right?
His ex-fiance isn't gonna support him, so he'd be starting over all alone in a foreign country. I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to do that, child or not. Maybe he turns out to be a dirtbag who decides to write off his child, but if he does care... OP better follow through and bringing the kid to see him and not just forcing him to fly every time. OP NTA right now, but if she doesn't help facilitate the father-child relationship, her score will begin to skyrocket.
S1) Op's doing the right thing. The guy clearly doesn't want to be a parent and would rather chase 20 year old college drop outs. OP deserves to be in a place where she has support. The ex's family are a bunch of enabling clowns.
S2) She's still a bully and I'd be done with her if I were you OP. She sounds jealous that she doesn't have the back bone to stand up for herself and do better while at it. That's not a you problem. Let her take the enabling clowns with her too. They're too busy being an echo chamber to her nonsense. I gurantee once you leave her to her devices they'll try to cry to you about it but find themselves blocked.
S3) Yeah good on you for dumping her OP. That's if you have. If you haven't I'd suggest getting right on that. Let her go be the gardening tool she's meant to be while you keep improving and growing to be your best.
S4) It's not your fault that some CZcamsr's use misinformation to basically feed that to their viewers. Which is why doing your own research and verifying information is key.
Longest I can go without showering is maybe two days if Im tired enough, but if I am going out or have to be around people I REFUSE to show up anywhere looking like a slob. You'll never catch me outside in stretchy pants and crocs, no Sir.
One of my personal mottos is "do everything in style", never will I ever show up without looking my best for whatever it is Im doing.
I like how he goes from “you should do this this and this” too “don’t listen to CZcamsrs we’re idiots”
Basically, take with a grain of salt, and use ur own discretion.
Shower or else: OP is NTA. Even Dr. Mike, a real doctor, says you need to shower at least 2 times a week. Every other or every third day. Every day isn't necessary, but every 3-4 weeks is unhealthy....
I appreciate when Dabny is like 'dont listen to us we dont know anything' its refreshing and always makes me laugh 😂
last story: damn its gross. I am someone who has nearly no body odor and even in the summer I don't start smelling after a sweaty day at work (it was told to me by others) yet I shower at least once a day only because I feel all icky if I don't. Also I have long hair and it gets fatty real fast if I don't wash them daily.
Story1. Why the hell would anyone be the bad guy for throwing out a cheater?
Being confident in oneself has absolutely nothing to do with being confident in another person.
How can she say that he never responded when there are obviously missing messages?
No matter who persued whom, he participated, hid it and lied about it.
It's not for throwing out the cheater, she is wrong for kidnapping their child.
As someone with depression, I’ve been that person that doesn’t shower for a week. But I never lasted more than like 15 days. I could feel the layers on me by that point. And it’s definitely not healthy. I’m a lot better now, multiple showers a week! So the last story, it’s better to just leave him with the garbage and cut down to like one or two showers a day 😂
Wait... this guy used to shower THREE TIMES A DAY?!! That's OCD.
And a waste of water!
11:14 okay no showers is worse than 3 showers a day but 3 SHOWERS A DAY IS EXCESSIVE. show him the Dr.Mike video talking about showers and underwear.
Last story: I had a brother who only showered when my parents told him to. Once a week at best, once every month or two at worst. He also worked on construction sites, so his skin would be visibly stained with dirt. I used to call him Pigpen behind his back. When I tell you this dude smelled rancid, I mean I could tell where he was in the house by the SMELL! Standing next to him was suffocating.
Three showers a day isnt healthy either because you're stripping healthy oils from your skin, but its certainly better than not showering for THREE MONTHS. 🤢 Depending on how much oil and sweat your skin produces and what type of lifestyle you have, you should not be showering less than twice a week and that's pushing it. Its important to find a balance between washing away dirt and harmful bacteria while keeping healthy oils and bacteria. Going too extreme in either direction is harmful for your body's ecosystem.
story 2: I wonder if the OP's boyfriend isn't proposing BECAUSE of this "friend". This girl isn't a friend she is still a tormentor. She may be an adult but mentally she is still in middle school. Time for a new friend group.
For that last story I keep imagining Zach from Daily Dose Of Reddit repeatedly shouting "GROOOSSSSS!!!" in his patented Entitled Kid voice.
I feel like swamp thing if I go more than one day without showering. Weeks? MONTHS? *BY CHOICE*? Ain't no way.
First story: it should be illegal for both parents to STOP PARENTING at 4 months.
Remember when Ashton Kutcher admitted his hygiene routine, or should I say lack thereof? There are some people of influence out there that actually believe improperly bathing gives them superpowers or something 😂 unsurprising a regular-ass person would fall for it too. But DANG OP I wouldn’t have stayed after the three-showers-a-day reveal… 😱
Story 3: I think the longest I've ever gone without a shower was a week and a half, and that was when I was literally at my worst mentally, and literally struggled with getting myself up out of bed.
Then this guy goes THREE WEEKS IF NOT MORE than that, just because some CZcams creator said to. (I shower every other day nowadays. )
Story number two: Absolutely NOT the butthole. That's the thing about bullies, they can dish it out but they can't ever take it back. Sure, what OP said could be technically considered below the belt, but Tiffany had it coming.
Make no mistake, Tiffany isn't a former bully, she still is. She may look like an adult woman, but comes off more like an overgrown, middle school mean girl who never mentally or emotionally matured past the age of 12. Let's not forget that Tiffany made a comment about OP's body and OP responded in kind. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Again, not the butthole. Tiffany needed to hear that. I doubt very much it will cause her to turn over a new leaf and become a better person. After all, at bare minimum, narcissists have no respect for boundaries, zero regard for the word no and nothing resembling a sense of accountability. Tiffany, will most likely, tell everyone who will listen about what a jerk OP is. I'm also sure that OP won't care.
Rslash, don’t say things like “i don’t understand how you don’t wanna be around your own kid all the time”
postpartum can make that happen. New mothers especially, but also fathers. Sometimes it does get to much and they would need a break. Obviously in this story that’s not the case but there could be postpartum women who look at themselves and think “oh my god i’m a terrible mother” because of words like that when they are just simply exhausted and want to sleep for 10 minutes without their child.
Story 1: I feel bad for OP. Some people just don’t think about consequences of their actions until it’s too late 😂😂
Honestly the progression of the story sounds like op wasn't not a match with her fiancé. It feels like some of the story is missing.
yeah the mom litelry made it impossible for him to be an dad to his own daughter so she is just as bad if you ask me
@@wowgek7She didn't make it impossible, he just didn't want to put in the effort or fight for custody.
@@stevep8490No, not really, it's cut and dry.
@@kaylawoodbury2308 oh ops husband should have fought her on it thats 100% true but that he didnt fight her on it doesnt mean op wasnt wrong either.
if i was in her husbands situation I wuld have fought her tooth to nail for it. if she won and could do it it would be over for me though. since I cnat have any meaningfull relationship anymore at all I would stop even trying because whats the point?
Story 1 op had been trying to find a reason to leave her husband she will just never admit it
This is the most obvious part of the story. I’m even willing to go full conspiracy theory and assume OP gave a fat stack of cash to the nanny to flirt
@@Etienne.6329 damn I need a wife like that. Our babysitter is insanely hot 🤣
Story 2: that girl didn't become OP's buddy, she just found more satisfaction from being closer and claiming it's "friendly" but it never has been.
bye that “girl” was so sassy 😂😂
Story 2: NTA. "Don't dish it if you can't take it". A phrase which very much applies to your "friend". You also need better friends, op
It makes me laugh when people use the worst lies to try to cover up their cheating. You can tell when your partner is acting out of the ordinary, like when OP of story 3 finds the dominos receipt etc.
When my ex cheated, he took some girl back to his dad's house to wine & dine her before doing the deed. His dad was in hospital at the time, so the next day when I went over for extra clothes and necessities to drop off to him I found the table set for two and the used bed (I'd made the bed up the day his dad went to hospital and my ex stayed at my place). Exs excuse was that he'd gone there to make dinner for himself, helped himself to seconds and went for a nap after.
He never slept after food and never used new dishes for leftovers. I knew immediately he was lying 🤥 😂
Really enjoying rSlash hitting up different subs for more content. Regardless of what he reads, it's his hysterical comments that will always keep me coming back ❤😁
Last story: he used to take 3 showers a day!? Dang he went from one extreme to the next. Just take a shower every day or every 2 days if you’re concerned about striping yourself of oils. You can’t just not bathe at all, you will be gross. And no matter how much deodorant and cologne you use to mask up your stench, it just adds onto the already nasty smell.
What I'm about to write are my thoughts, and doesn't mean OP in first story wasn't justified. Just how I think of it and how I would do it.
I'm the thought that everyone deserves second chance. Only one, more is up to you.
Man made a mistake that was long-term mistake.
He said he was willing to do anything to fix it, and he did. He was following and fine with everything OP asked for to fix it. He didn't want to fight because it would only strain relationship. He KEPT his word. Which is a bit admirable.
He wasn't going to visit because it was depressing for him to see daughter he can't see more.
That my view on situation. You can disagree with it. I just can't help but feel bad for him. Again. He DID make a mistake, but calling him scum over it is a bit overkill. Again. It's purely how I see it. I'm not saying OP did anything bad. Just a bit harsh.
Then again he could be having fun with Liv right now, but I choose to believe in good in people for as long as possible.
About the showering story;
Showering EVERY DAY is bad health
Showering is GREAT for your health
NOT showering, ever, is BAD for your health
Every day is bad because it fucks with your hair's natural oils but that's it really. (Source; infrequent shower schedule, when I moved in with my Bf, I showered more and noticed that my hair got dirtier faster than it used to because it's so used to going like, 5-7 days at a time without showers, but I still NEED to shower.)
ALSO most Deoderant is bad for you, MOST. Basically a lot of deoderant is designed to plug the pores in your armpits, however there are kinds that don't do that.
So in short; Please shower, even if it is once or twice a week.
I had a shower morning as you do before going out for the day, then considering going to pools to cool off, then I would have meant that I would had to have another shower. It summer here and I would have had two showers if I go to the pools daily
Third story: NTA. She was even stupid to cheat when there are cameras and NOT HIDDEN evidence of the cheating. Honestly, she was asking to be catched.
Story 1, if someone flirts with you tell your partner and craft the shut down msg TOGETHER.
There are 2 CZcamsrs I will take advice from. One is Dr. Karan, you've seen his shorts, good man, licensed professional. The other is the Goblin Lord himself, Thor Hall. You've also seen his shorts. I shouldn't have to explain.
CZcamsr - doesnt shower for months
Also CZcamsr - hasnt left his basement for months.
I dont mean all youtubers, but that one specifically. Because damn that boy must stink.
those ISP nutrition labels need to be expanded to all subscription services Honestly they should be expanded to **ALL** terms of service agreements that might make your clickwrap agreements actually binding
Damn a psychiatrist and a doctor? What a power couple!! 🤘💛
hubby and i had an acquaintance we didn't actually like (i really loathed him) but we seemed to be stuck with him when we went out to eat on friday nights. he watched the jeff goldblum movie "the fly" and early on the character says he doesn't bathe so this guy decided not to bathe anymore. i was driving and had to open the windows to be able to breathe. fortunately, he went back to showering shortly thereafter. the only good side of my hubby dying is i never have to see bd again.
Last Story: The only times I like go more than a day without a shower are times when i feel so shit i don't wanna move and showering feels more like a chore than something that would make me feel better
But then the next day even if i dont wanna move i do cause I feel gross af. I can't imagine 3months of not showering (though depending on the person everyday and 3 times a day is also not good for you you just have the bonus of not affecting those around you)
And I feel bad when I don't shower for 2 days. And I'm retired and do nothing most days, except watch R/
Woohoo! An RSlash video is the best gift I could ask to wake up to on my birthday this year. Thank you RSlash!! 🎉🎊🎁
Happy birthday! 🎉
@@MalivoreKai thank you!! 22 today!
Happy birthday! 🎉
Happy birthday! Enjoy your day!!
@@maieen2665 thank you!!
Story 1: it came out he was also sleeping with the nanny the whole time. They're now living together. OP is thriving in France
I take a shower once every 48 hours unless I get really sweaty.
Story 3: doesn't matter how the cheating is uncovered, it can't be an invasion of privacy when there shouldn't be that kind of privacy in a relationship.
I shower 4-5 times a week cause showering daily isnt healthy but anything less than what i shower is gross but i still put on deodorant everyday and body spray
3x shower is bad too. But dang he mustve smelled homeless
It's definitely not healthy to shower as much as he was but going the opposite extreme is also not healthy. I shower pretty frequently because I work at the hospital around body fluids and I sweat a lot but I'll usually skip on my days off knowing it dries out your skin showering too much
Well, a CZcamsr told me not to listen to other CZcamsrs so now I'm going to listen to all the CZcamsrs
Demanding that the father unilaterally move to a different country where they speak a different language and he has no job is not remotely reasonable.
I'm not saying that she is unreasonable (she didn't expect him to move).
But rSlash is unreasonable in his comment.
And if a guy did this, best believe he would be called controlling, an assh*le, and many other names
Story 4: "You're not my mom, and you don't control me!"
OP: Nope, but I control myself, so See Ya!
It's actually best to shower every other day. If you shower every day, you're stripping oils off your skin that keep it healthy. If you shower every 3 days, you'll get bacteria that you shouldn't have on your skin.
Oh my god, the "you are not my mum" argument is probably the most stupid one ever! Let's put it in few more situations to see how silly it is:
At party: "Hey, I ordered pizza, each of you give me 5 bucks." "You are not my mum."
In work: "John, I sent you an important email, can you have a look and add your insight so we can finish this project before Thursday?" "Don't tell me to check my email, you are not my mum."
Traffic control: "Driving license and registration." "No officer, you are not my mum."
In ZOO: "Sir, please, do not climb in lion area." "You are not my mum."
At court: "You are sentenced to three years in prison." "You cannot tell me what to do, you are not my mum."
I often say that "you are not my mum" is huge red flag. It is so huge that you can use it to wrap your relationship and bury it. So far I heard from four women that their partners said that and 3 of them are single now. The last one heard from at least 5 of his friends, each of them gave him an earful, tore him a new one, dressed him up and down, scolded him, roasted him and told him off, teared him down and helped him rebuild himself and now it looks like he is a proper man.